Writing Magazine

A Lame Joke

1st place £200

Gavin, an adopted Yorkshireman, has a lovely wife, three daft mutts and a soon-to-be-wed daughter.

After 35 years arranging words onto signs, vehicles and assorted designs, he is now trying to coax the tricky rascals into his first crime novel, The Kerning. A winner of Bradford Literature Festival 2018’s Northern Noir and a New Voices nominee at Capital Crime 2019, Gavin really must get that novel finished soon.

Occasionally, on Tuesdays, he posts Rubbish Poems (content and quality) about his bincollectors at www.gavindimmock.com

Editor’s note: Gavin made a deliberate decision to use US spelling in this story, which we have respected in order to preserve the narrative voice.

Two guys and their pet gorilla walked into a bar.

Sounds like the opening line to a joke, don’t it? And not even a good joke. The kind of lame attempt you might hear at one of the bar’s Tuesday night comedy clubs.

Excepting these guys walked in late on a Sunday. Right as the clock ticked off the minutes ahead of a new work week kinda way. Cos, when these guys walked in the front door, funny stopped goofing around, stood up and ducked out the back just as quick as it could.

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