Dear Therapist: My Sister-in-Law Said the Most Painful Thing to Me, and I Can’t Let It Go

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

I am originally from Germany. Two years ago, my daughter got married and my twin brother and his family came over to celebrate with us.

My sister-in-law has come for visits many times without my brother, and I’ve taken her all over to shop and visit places.

When she was here for my daughter’s wedding, we started talking about children. I have a second daughter with some mild developmental delays. I asked her why they didn’t have a second child. She answered very bluntly that she didn’t want a child “like my second child.” She actually said her name. I was so