THE MEASURE OF A MAN
On 1 June 1889, a French-Mauritian physiologist and proto-life-hacker named Charles-Édouard Brown-Séquard gave a presentation at the Société de Biologie in Paris. He reported that he had been experimenting with something he called a “liquide testiculaire”. He made this by mixing water with blood from the testicular veins, semen and a “juice extracted from a testicle, crushed immediately after it had been taken from a dog or a guinea pig”. Then he injected himself with it.
Monsieur Brown-Séquard was happy to report that, at 72 years old, he felt like a new man. He estimated that he could project his urine 25 per cent further than he could before. He also found that his brain was rejuvenated; he now felt as sharp as he had when he was young. He warned that the effects were short-lived – a major clue that he was experiencing a placebo effect – but no matter. By the end of 1889, it was estimated that as many as 12,000 scientists were shooting up testicle smoothies. Chemists made a fortune from selling the “elixir of life”.
It was, of course, bollocks. But to be fair to Brown-Séquard, his hunch that there might be some sort of “substance or substances” produced in our glands, running through our bloodstream, influencing everything from our penises to our brains, wasn’t so wide
