NEXT

When less MEANS MORE

Research tells us the average woman takes 13 minutes to orgasm. It took me 46 years – just in time for the end of world. You bet I’m pissed off. Look, before you ask, I definitely had a decent crack at it, but rather than pleasure earthquakes that obliterate your capacity for speech, all I’d ever had were minor gladness trembles, like when you slam the front door and a glass vase threatens to fall, and then explode

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