Paul Heiney

All the early signs were there and I counted the symptoms, accepting it’s the sort of thing that happens with ageing. A dribble at first, then a complete lack of control, followed by complete incontinence. There was no doubt about it; the game was up.

Yes, another kettle bites the dust. And a much loved one, too. It has done me proud for thousands of miles, warmed me on long night watches, given me coffee to kick-start the mornings, and even, I admit, provided the occasional hot