The Atlantic

Letters: What’s In a Name?

Readers discuss what it means to adopt a spouse’s last name—or not.
Source: Brendan McDermid / Reuters

Why Don’t More Men Take Their Wives’ Last Names?

In July, Caroline Kitchener wrote about a dilemma many couples face in the run-up to marriage: What is to be done about the last name?


I am one of the statistically insignificant men who did what the article discussed: When we married seven years ago, my wife kept her last name and I took it. Our decision was based on the fact that my wife was well-established in business and did not want to change her name, while I put a premium on family unity and our all having the same last name. So I made the switch.

Although I would do it again, I have to admit it was a very jarring event. I can really relate to women who go through this and have identity issues, because that is what I felt. Plus, the paperwork!

I liked how your article points out that there is really nothing that can be done in this area that is perfectly fair and hassle-free. Even a default where each partner keeps their own last name creates issues down the road.

Having thought about this a bit, and being the

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from The Atlantic

The Atlantic5 min readAmerican Government
What Nikki Haley Is Trying to Prove
This is an edition of The Atlantic Daily, a newsletter that guides you through the biggest stories of the day, helps you discover new ideas, and recommends the best in culture. Sign up for it here. Nikki Haley faces terrible odds in her home state of
The Atlantic8 min readAmerican Government
The Most Consequential Recent First Lady
This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here. The most consequential first lady of modern times was Melania Trump. I know, I know. We are supposed to believe it was Hillary Clinton, with her unbaked cookies
The Atlantic3 min read
They Rode the Rails, Made Friends, and Fell Out of Love With America
The open road is the great American literary device. Whether the example is Jack Kerouac or Tracy Chapman, the national canon is full of travel tales that observe America’s idiosyncrasies and inequalities, its dark corners and lost wanderers, but ult

Related Books & Audiobooks