A Good Coach Is One Who Is On A Continuous Journey Of Self Development

Dr Suriyakhatun Osman

'Technique is for a coach what a text is for an actor: they both have to forget it in order to be present.' Luc de Belloy

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Power in our coaching is in the ability to be present - to be able to meet all that is occurring with openness and intelligence: 'the capacity to meet experience fully and directly without filtering it through any conceptual or strategic agenda' (Welwood).
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A coach who can be present will find techniques popping up like old friends during sessions, rather then having to stretch for them.

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Techniques and tools arise from profound, sustained presence. We can be taken into the heart of not knowing with a client a fertile, if somewhat unnerving place! 'What do I say/do now?'
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Learning to BE there with the client (sometimes in silence), so that they can learn to be present with their own experience, and feel it fully, is a great gift for the client.
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It is a very subtle kind of modelling which gifts a client contact with their inner life and consequently, independence from the coach's perceptions.
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[ Integrate : SQ + EQ + IQ + PQ = True Knowledge]

Stephan R. Covey

Physical Intelligence: Wise nutrition, Consistence balance exercises Proper rest, relaxation, stress management and preventing. Mental intelligent: Continuous, systematic, disciplined study and education Cultivation of self awareness, learning by teaching and doing. Emotional intelligent: Self awareness, Personal motivation, Self regulation, Empathy, Social skill. Spiritual Intelligence: Integrity ( Character building ) ,Meaning ( Purpose of life ),Voice( Self Enlightenment and motivate to other ) .

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' The business of who I am in life, in the coaching moment, has a major impact on how I am coaching in that moment. The following questions are central when we address notions of EQ.

What is the range of my own life experience? How connected and comfortable am I with my inner world? Have I sufficient confidence to meet all client situations with truth, confidence and grace? How do I relate to glitches in clients' personalities and behaviour?
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How do I relate to my own fears and other strong feelings which can arise in coaching? How much/little am I aware of the energetic exchange between myself and clients? Can I respond to what I know about this? Am I working at a level which is consistent with who I am - or am I edging beyond my personal limits? Can I hold Self and Other in the same frame of perception/ thought/imagination as I speak with clients?
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This is a major source of strength and insight in Coaching Presence. When we nurture our SQ, we can be present to the heights and depths of human life. We are also opening the possibility of working transformatively with clients
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Developing SQ is becoming a key feature of training as the coaching profession matures.

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To 'have' SQ., is to be working at a soul level

At this level we are enabling our clients to touch the heart of their lives People benefit from coaching conversations on soul-making that which

reconnects us with the imaginative possibility in our natures 'turns events into experiences', helps us to align with emergent potential, makes positive use of adversity establishes awareness of field consciousness.

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'The soul is dyed the colour of its thoughts. Think only those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day.

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The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become.

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Your integrity is your destiny. - it is the light that guides your way.'Heraclitus

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Sometimes it is the distraction of compulsive thinking which takes us away from the present and out of Presence. There are many Energy Management tools which help to bring us into the NOW, into Presence. A basic guide is that the best way to get out of your mind is to get into the body.
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Has the effect of slowing you down, clearing your mind and enabling you to be fully present in any situation. It is particularly useful when working with clients

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Grounding.

Whether you are walking or sitting, become aware of where the 'ground' touches your body through the soles of your feet, the back of your legs and bum, and your back. Bring all of your attention to that physical sensation for a moment. Feel the ground holding you up.

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Now bring all your attention and awareness closer to home to the trunk of your body. Be in the centre of your body let the trunk straighten and feel its strength.

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Finally, bring your awareness to your breath.

Let your breath breathe you. Notice the rise and fall of your chest or the flow of air as it enters and exits your nose. Ride on the breath.

Practise this sequence slowly and regularly until you are able to use it effectively in a few seconds. Use it in your life and before and during coaching sessions.
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Maintaining rapport is an ongoing task and a necessary condition if coaching, regardless of its orientation, is likely to be successful.

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Maintain an appreciation of the clients individuality Stay open to your own moment-to-moment experience as you interact with this unique person Being willing to engage the client in terms of this flow of experience. Use any negative responses within yourself as information about the clients problem (while remaining open to the possibility that these reactions might also provide information about you). Practice "high positive regard" of the other as your default position

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Having rapport as the foundation for any relationship means that when there are tough issues to discuss, you can more easily find solutions and move on.
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The places and people you spend time with The way you look, sound, and behave The skills you have learned The values that you live by Your beliefs Your purpose in life Being yourself

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Take a genuine interest in getting to know what's important to the other person. Start to understand them rather than expecting them to understand you first. Pick up on the key words, favourite phrases and way of speaking that someone uses and build these subtly into your own conversation. Notice how someone likes to handle information. Do they like lots of details or just the big picture? As you speak, feed back information in this same portion size.
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Breathe in unison with them. Look out for the other person's intention their underlying aim rather than what they do or say. They may not always get it right, but expect their heart to lie in the right place. Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed. Respect the other person's time, energy, favourite people and money. They will be important resources for them.

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Research shows your impact depends on three factors how you look -55 per cent body language, how you sound -38 per cent quality of the voice and what you say -7 per cent actual words spoken
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Pacing people -like running alongside a train. In order to jump on a moving train you would have to gather speed by racing alongside it until you were moving at the same speed before you could jump on. In order to influence them with your point of view, pace them first. ie:

really listening to them, fully acknowledging them, truly understanding where they have come from and be patient about it.
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