CHAPTER 3

Modified by M H Mortensen, 2011

Composing
Business
Messages

Instructor Only Version

© 2010 Thomson South-Western
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 2
 Avoiding Writer’s Block
Getting a dog
Wh
at
k ind
?
se

ve?
ci

e tli
Larg
er

l i
il
Ex

g w Smal
l
lo n
w
Ho What do we do
about vacations?
Wh
o will
wal
st

k?
Co

bills
See, for examples:
Chinook? et
V http://www.mind-mapping.co.uk/mind-maps-examples.htm

Scattergram Mind Map

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 3
 Organizing
Information
Into an
Outline

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 4
 Tips for Making Outlines

Tips:
 Define main topic in title.
 Divide the topic into three to five main points.
 Break the components into subpoints.
 Make each component exclusive
(no overlapping).
 Don't put a single item under a major
component.
 Use details and evidence to support subpoints.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 5

 Organizing
Organizing DIRECT
DIRECTSTRATEGY
STRATEGY
Business
Business
Messages
Messages Main
Mainideaideacomes
comes
first
firstfollowed
followedby
by
details
detailsand
andexplanations
explanations
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 6
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 7
 Explanation
Explanationprecedes
precedes
main
mainidea
idea
Organizing
Organizing
Business
Business
Messages
Messages INDIRECT
INDIRECTSTRATEGY
STRATEGY

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 8
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 9
  Saves reader’s time
DIRECT
DIRECT  Sets a proper frame of mind
STRATEGY
STRATEGY  Prevents frustration
 Appears businesslike

Advantages
Advantages

 Respects feelings of audience

INDIRECT
INDIRECT  Encourages a fair hearing
STRATEGY
STRATEGY
 Minimizes a negative reaction

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 10
  Receiver is receptive
DIRECT
DIRECT  Receiver requires no education
STRATEGY
STRATEGY about topic
 Message is routine

Useful
Usefulwhen
when
 Receiver may be upset or
INDIRECT
INDIRECT hostile
STRATEGY
STRATEGY  Receiver must be persuaded or
educated
 Message is sensitive
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 11
 Effective Sentences

Complete
Clauses Phrases
Sentences

Complete sentences have subjects

and verbs and make sense
(are capable of standing alone).
subject verb
Employees send many e-mail messages.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 12
 Effective Sentences
Complete
Clauses Phrases
Sentences

Clauses also have subjects and verbs.

 Independent clauses can stand alone.
 Dependent clauses rely on independent
clauses for their meaning.

dependent clause independent clause

When you speak, you reveal yourself.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 13
 Effective Sentences

Complete
Clauses Phrases
Sentences

Phrases are groups of related

words without subjects and verbs.

phrase phrase
In the afternoon, I work at the mall.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 14
 Avoid
sentence
fragments.

Fragment
Even though the pay was low. Many candidates
applied.

Revision:
Even though the pay was low, many candidates
applied.
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 15
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 16
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 17
 Avoid Avoid run-
sentence on (fused)
fragments. sentences.

Fused Sentences
Two candidates applied only one was hired.

Revisions:
Two candidates applied. Only one was hired.
Two candidates applied; only one was hired.
Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 18
 Avoid
Avoid Avoid run-
comma-
sentence on (fused)
splice
fragments. sentences.
sentences.

Comma Splice
Many were qualified, Jeff was hired.
Revisions:
Many were qualified. Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.
MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 19
 Revise the following to avoid fragments,
run-on sentences, and comma-splices.

You can create a Web- You can create a Web-

based job portfolio it will Quick based job portfolio; it
impress potential will impress potential
employers. Check employers.
Send a scannable Send a scannable
résumé. When you apply résumé when you
for a job. apply for a job.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 20
 Revise the following to avoid fragments,
run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
Although technical skills Although technical skills
are important. are important,
Communication skills communication skills are
are also in great also in great demand.
demand.
College used to be for College used to be for
young people, however young people; however,
many older students many older students now
now seek degrees. seek degrees.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 21
 Revise the following to avoid fragments,
run-on sentences, and comma-splices.

Technology is changing Technology is changing

the business world the business world.
people are writing more People are writing more
messages than ever messages than ever
before. before. OR: Technology
is changing the business
world; people are . . . .

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 22
 Revise the following to avoid fragments,
run-on sentences, and comma-splices.

Executives are busy, Executives are busy.

they won't read They won't read
wordy messages and wordy messages and
reports. reports. OR:
Executives are busy;
they won't read . . . .

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 23
 Emphasis Through
Mechanics
Underlining:
Which of these methods do you prefer?

Italics and Boldface:

The use of boldface and italics captures the
reader’s attention.

All Caps:
Notice how EXPENSE-FREE VACATION stands
out.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 24
 Emphasis Through
Mechanics
Dashes:
Other methods–including dashes–may be used.

Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes

them:
1. First item
2. Second item
3. Third item

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 25

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs

Active-voice verbs show the subject

performing the action.

Most major employers require drug testing.

(Active voice; the subject is acting)

Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job.

(Active voice; the subject is acting)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 26

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs

In passive-voice sentences, the subject is

being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs
require helper verbs:

Drug testing is required by most major employers.

(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith.

(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 27

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs

 Use the active voice for most business

writing.
 Use the passive voice to emphasize an
action or the recipient of the action–rather
than the actor (New laws were passed; drunk
drivers were targeted).
 Use the passive voice to break bad news
(Although your lease cannot be renewed, we
can offer . . . ).
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 28
 Convert the following sentences to active
voice. You may have to add a subject.
Our membership The president postponed
meeting was postponed our membership
by the president. meeting. Quick
Check
The résumés of job The software program
candidates are sorted Resumix sorts résumés
quickly by the software of job candidates quickly.
program Resumix.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 29
 Convert the following sentences to active
voice. You may have to add a subject.
All team messages are Team members send all
sent by e-mail. messages by e-mail.

Drug tests are required The company requires

of all new employees. drug tests for all new
employees.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 30
 Convert the following sentences to active
voice. You may have to add a subject.
We were given our The manager gave us
orders by the manager. our orders.

Our intranet is used by Employees use our

employees to complete intranet to complete
forms. forms.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 31
 Convert the following sentences to
passive voice.
We must delay Your merchandise
shipment of your shipment must be
merchandise because delayed because of
of heavy demand. heavy demand.

Management rejected Our plan was rejected by

our plan. management.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 32
 Convert the following sentences to
passive voice.
The technician could not The computer program
install the computer could not be installed.
program.

Someone did not submit The accounting

the accounting statement was not
statement on time. submitted on time.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 33
 Developing Parallelism
Parallel expression uses balanced construction.
Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs,
phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses.

Poor Parallel
Training
Trainingsessions
sessions Training
Trainingsessions
sessions
have
havebeen
beenstimulat-
stimulat- have
havebeen
beenstimulat-
stimulat-
ing
ingand
andaachallenge.
challenge. ing
ingand
andchallenging.
challenging.
(Matches
(Matches-ing
-ingverbals)
verbals)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 34

 Developing Parallelism

Poor Parallel

We
Weare
arevery
very We
Weare arevery
very
concerned
concernedwith withthe
the concerned
concernedwithwiththe
the
quality
qualityofofraw
raw quality,
quality,location,
location,and
and
materials,
materials,where
where transportation
transportationcosts
costs
they
theyare
arelocated,
located,and
and ofofraw
rawmaterials.
materials.
how
howmuch
muchititcosts
coststoto
transport
transportthem.
them. (Matches
(Matchesnouns)
nouns)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 35

 Developing Parallelism

Poor Parallel

Serena
Serenatakes
takesthe
the Serena
Serenatakes
takesthe
the
telephone
telephoneorders,
orders, telephone
telephoneorders,
orders,
Matt
Mattlocates
locatesthethe Matt
Mattlocates
locatesthethe
items
itemsininthe
theware-
ware- items
itemsininthe
theware-
ware-
house,
house,andandthe
the house,
house,andandYolanda
Yolanda
items
itemsare
aresent
sentby
by sends
sendsthetheitems.
items.
Yolanda.
Yolanda. (Matches
(Matchesactive-voice
active-voiceverbs)
verbs)

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 36

 How could parallelism be improved in
the following sentence?

Our knowledge Our knowledge

management system Quick
management system
focuses on the focuses on the
collecting, storage, Check
collecting, storing,
and sharing of best and sharing of best
practices. practices.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 37
 How could parallelism be improved in
the following sentence?

The fall seminar is in The fall seminar is in

October, December October, the winter
is scheduled for the seminar is in
winter seminar, and December, and the
May is the month of spring seminar is in
the spring seminar. May.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 38
 How could parallelism be improved in
the following sentence?

We are pleased to We are pleased to

recommend recommend Elizabeth
Elizabeth because because she is
she has sincerity, sincere, reliable, and
she is reliable, and diligent.
she works with
diligence.

MaryMary
Ellen
Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
ofof
Business
Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1,
Chapter 3, Slide
Slide 39
 Composing the First Draft

 Complete all necessary research.

 Find a quiet place to concentrate and work.
 Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions.
 Organize information:
Scattergram  Mind Map  Outline.
 Decide whether to write quickly (freewriting)
OR revise as you go.
 Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 3, Slide 40

 END

Instructor Only Version

© 2010 Thomson South-Western