CHAPTER II

UNPACKING THE SELF

 PHYSICAL
SELF
SEXUAL DIGITAL
SELF SELF
MATERIAL
SELF
AND
ECONOMIC
POLITICAL
SELF SPIRITUAL SELF
SELF
 LESSON 2
THE SEXUAL SELF
INTRODUCTION
• Our sexuality is part of who we are.
• Whether we feel comfortable talking about it or not, it is undoubtedly
an aspect of our self that the earlier we properly learn about, the
better we can understand who we are and who we can be.
• In this lesson we will try to deal with sexuality from an academic and
scientific perspective relevant to understanding who we are so we
may know better how to take care and protect ourselves and even
those we love.
Sexuality
• Commonly defined as “the ways It is experienced and expressed in:
people experience and express Thoughts
themselves as sexual beings.” Fantasies
• World Health Organization defined Desires
“sexuality” as: Beliefs
SEXUALITY- is a central aspect of Attitudes
being human throughout life
encompasses sex, gender identities Values
and roles, sexual orientation, Behaviors
eroticism, pleasure, intimacy ad Practices
reproduction Roles and relationships
NOTE: While sexuality can include all
of these dimensions, not all of them
are always experienced or expressed.
 HOW DO YOU VIEW YOUR
SEXUALITY? WHAT FACTORS
DO YOU THINK CONTRIBUTED
TO YOUR VIEWS AND
COMMENTS ABOUT
SEXUALITY?
 EDUCATION POLITICS

OCCUPATION HISTORY
VIEW
INCOME ABOUT MEDIA
SEXUALITY
ECONOMICS SOCIETY

CULTURE
LAW
RELIGION
 IGNORANCE ON THE TOPIC OF SEXUAITY
• Asking about or admitting ignorance on the topic of sexuality in the
Philippine culture seems to be taboo or degrading.
• Ignorance has to be addressed through proper education.
• Sex education may not yet been implemented in our country but this
does not mean that learning cannot take place.
• If more Filipinos would continue to learn, whether formally or
informally, about proper sex education, then it may be indirectly
passed on to young children through teaching proper hygiene or
through being discerning of a child’s actions, reactions, questions, or
comments about sex.
• Sexual education is not to promote sexual intercourse but to promote
good sexual health and safety from sexual violence.
 Withholding information about sex and
sexuality will not keep children safe; it will
only keep them ignorant, (Hauser 2013).
Shapes and You:
Choose a Shape
Triangle People

• These people are idealists and visionaries

• They have high expectations of themselves
and of people around them
• They plan things ahead and they pursue
their goals relentlessly
• Most achievers such as planners, leaders,
engineers, and scientists belong to this
category.
Square People

• These people are level-headed and practical

minded
• They set their foot on the ground and set
realistic expectations
• Their happiness is very simple, however, once
they commit themselves to a task, they do it
well and with pleasure
• Many managers are born of this type
 Cross People

• These are people who are known for their self-

sacrifice and good heart
• They are also long suffering and patient
• They are meditative and don’t feel lonely even when
alone
• Once provoked, they have a big heart to forgive
 Cross People

• Their goodness, however is often abused by the

insensitivity of others around them
• Social workers, psychologists, writers, missionaries,
and religious persons fall under this category
Circle People

These people love

SEX
WINE and PLEASURE
SEX AND GENDER
• SEX- refers to a person’s
characterization as female or
male at birth, typically based on
the appearance of external
genitalia or other biological
characteristics including
chromosomes.
• GENDER- refers to social
characteristics that may be {or
mot be} aligned with a person’s
sex and adopted by an individual
as their gender identity.
ADOLESCENCE PERIOD (12-22 YEARS OLD)
• Transition period from childhood to adulthood, extending from
puberty to independence
• Period of stress, problems and identity confusion.
• The time of vitality without the cares of adulthood, a time of
rewarding friendships, of heightened idealism and a growing sense
of life’s exciting possibilities
• Peer groups, romantic interests and external appearance tend to
naturally increase in importance for some time during a teen's
journey toward adulthood.
• Movement toward social and economic independence, and
development of identity
• During which social contexts exert powerful influences
ADOLESCENCE PERIOD

•Early Adolescence – 12-14 y/o

•Middle Adolescence – 15-17 y/o
•Late Adolescence – 18-22 y/0
PUBERTY: PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT
• Puberty – sexual maturation in which the person becomes capable of
producing
• 11 years old for girls; 13 years old for boys
• Puberty could have been less stressful if only we were properly
oriented of what to expect physically and emotionally.
• “It’s natural for everyone to become more sexually aware, but it
doesn’t mean you are ready to have sex” (Cole, 2009, p.11).
 PRIMARY AND SECONDARY SEX
CHARACTERISTICS
• Primary sex characteristics
• The body structures that make
sexual reproduction possible
(ovaries, testes and other external
genitalia)
• Menarche – very 1st menstruation
• Secondary sex characteristics
• Non- reproductive sexual
characteristics (breast, hips, voice,
body hair etc.)
Early Adolescence
• Start of puberty
• Girls – breast and hip development, onset of menstruation
• Boys – growth in testicles and penis, wet dreams, deepening of voice
• Tremendous physical growth: gain height and weight
• Greater sexual interest
Middle Adolescence
• Young women, typically, are fully developed
• Young men continue to gain height, weight, muscle mass, and body
hair
Late Adolescence
• Puberty is completed
• Physical growth slows for girls, continues for boys

• Many adolescents face pressures to use alcohol, cigarettes, or other

drugs and to initiate sexual relationships at earlier ages, putting
themselves at high risk for intentional and unintentional injuries,
unintended pregnancies, and infection from sexually transmitted
infections.
EROGENOUS ZONES
• EROGENOUS ZONES- sexually stimulating zones of both sexes.
• When the erogenous zones are touched , there is an expected
automatic sensations.
• Being aware of the erogenous zone seem to be interesting or
awkward when discussed in life.
• This is definitely relevant and beneficial not only for sexual
excitement but also for protection against sexual violence.
DO YOU KNOW THE PLEASURE POINTS?

10 HOT SPOTS ON HIS AND HER BODY: Men and women

ranked the most arousing of each of their body parts on a
scale of 1(lowest)- 10(highest)
Sexual Violence
• Any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual
comments or advances, or acts to traffic, or otherwise directed, again
a person’s sexuality using coercion, by any person regardless of their
relationship to the victim, in any setting, including but not limited to
home and work.
Forms of sex violence
A. Rape (within marriage or dating relationships, by strangers, during armed
conflict)
B. Sexual abuse/ molestation of children
C. Forced abortion
D. Unwanted sexual advances or sexual Harassment including demanding
sex in return for favors
E. Forced marriage or cohabitation, including the marriage of children
F. Violent acts against the sexual integrity of women: female genital
mutilation and obligatory inspects for virginity
G. Sexual abuse or mentally or physically disabled people
H. Denial of the right to use contraception or to adopt other measures to
proper against sexually transmitted diseases
I. Forced prostitution and trafficking of people for the purpose of sexual
exploitation.
• In our own ways, we can prevent sexual violence, one little step at a time.
• Educate others how they stop can protect themselves.
• Filter what ideas you expose yourself to. Talk to people who can help and report to
concerned agencies based on Republic Act 9262:
Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)
National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW)
Civil Service Commission (CSC)
Commission on Human rights (CHR)
Council for the Welfare of Children (CWC)
Department of Justice (DOJ)
Philippine National Police (PNP)
Department of Health (DOH)
Department of Education (DepEd)
Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE); and
National Bureau of Investigation (NBI)
The Sexual Response Cycle ( Master and Johnson)
DESIRE PHASE

AROUSAL PHASE

PLATEAU PHASE

ORGASM PHASE

RESOLUTION PHASE
 The Sexual Response Cycle
1. DESIRE PHASE- Sexual urges in response to sexual fantasies or
environmental cues.
2. AROUSAL PHASE- Psychological experience of sexual arousal;
• Vasocongestion (increased blood flow to penis in males and pelvic area in females)
and
• Myotonia (muscular tension)
3. PLATEAU PHASE- high but stable level of excitement before orgasm.
4. ORGASM PHASE- In males, sense of inevitability of ejaculation followed by
ejaculation; In females, rhythmic contractions of the vigina and more irregular
contractions of the uterus.
5. RESOLUTION PHASE- Decreased arousal; deep relaxation possible.
SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS
DISORDER
A. DISORDERS OF SEXUAL
INTEREST/DESIRE OR AROUSAL
• Female sexual interest/Arousal
Disorder
• Male hypoactive desire disorder
• Erectile Disorder
DESCRIPTION
Persistent lack of, or significantly
reduced, interest in sexual activity
and/or lack of arousal in response to
sexual activity.
Persistently absent or deficient
sexual/erotic thoughts or fantasies, or
desire for sexual activity.
Recurrent inability to attain or maintain
an erection or a marked decrease in
erectile rigidity.
 DISORDER
B. DISORDERS OF ORGASM OR SEXUAL
PAIN
• Female orgasmic disorder
• Early Ejaculation
• Delayed ejaculation
• Genito-pelvic pain/Penetration
disorder
DESCRIPTION
Reduced intensity, or recurrent delay or
absence of orgasm during sexual activity.
Recurrent ejaculation within 1 minute of
initiation of partnered sexual activity
when not desired.
Marked delay, infrequency, or absence
of ejaculation during sexual encounters.
Marked difficulties having vaginal
penetration; pain or tightening of pelvic
floor muscles during penetration.
Diversity of Sexual Orientation
• We will always have our own personal stand, belief, and preferences
and it just logical to expect others to have their own. Being able to
respect diversity, can help in effective, ethical, relational, and
professional communication.
• “Many teenagers who have crushes on people of the same sex never
have same-sex relationship” (Cole, 2009)
• Sexual orientation- refers to our sexual preferences towards males
and females, or both.
• Gender Identity- is one’s concept of being male, female, both, or
neither and is “entirely determined by socialization (nurture), not
biological factors (nature).”
• In the acronym LGBT which stands for Lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender, “LGB” pertains to sexual orientation
TYPES OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION
SEXUAL ORIENTATION DESCRIPTION
HOMOSEXUAL Sexuality attracted to members of the
same sex.
BISEXUAL Sexually attracted to people of both
sexes.
HETEROSEXUAL Sexually attracted to members of the
opposite sex.
PANSEXUAL/OMISEXUAL Can be sexually attracted to any sex or
gender identity.
ASEXUAL Not sexually attracted to any sex or
gender.
• The “T” in LGBT, which stands for transgender or gender non-conforming,
pertains to gender identity.
• Some who do not identify as either male or female prefer the term
“genderqueer”.
TYPES OF GENDER IDENTITY
GENDER IDENTITY DESCRIPTION
CISGENDER/CIS Gender Identity Consistent is with sex they
were assigned at birth.
Transgender/Trans Gender identity does not match the sex
they were assigned at birth.
Agender People who do not identify with any gender

Non-binary People who do not identify strictly as a boy

or a girl—they could identify as both, or
neither, or as another gender entirely.
Worth knowing:
• An transgender is different from a transsexual. A transsexual is one who
transitions from one sex to another through undergoing several surgical
procedures.
• Though we may have experienced “having feelings towards or fantasies
about people of the same sex, it doesn’t mean you are gay or bisexual, it
can be part of emerging sexual awareness”.
• Sexual orientation, sexual behavior, and gender identity are independent
concepts. All could be fluid or changing.
• We may have the freedom to choose to whom we engage sex with and
with how many, but if we are not careful and discerning , we cannot and
will never be able to choose or limit the number of unpleasant irreversible
long term consequences it can bring to our lives, to people who matter
most to us, and even to the society we are part of.
Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development
• Sex – anything that is pleasurable, sensitive areas of the
body where pleasure takes place called erogenous zones
• Early experiences play a large role in personality
development and continue to influence behavior later in
life.
• If these psychosexual stages are completed successfully, the
result is a healthy personality. If certain issues are not
resolved at the appropriate stage, fixation can occur.
• A fixation is a persistent focus on an earlier psychosexual
stage. Until this conflict is resolved, the individual will
remain "stuck" in this stage
During phallic stage:
• Oedipus complex according to Freud, a boy’s sexual desires toward
his mother and feelings of jealousy and hatred for the rival father.
• Electra complex - a girl’s sexual desires toward her father
Have you ever stopped for a second to
think about the science and
psychology of falling in love or why
you are falling in love with that
special someone?
Dear Tita Cathy,

Just call me Josie. I am 18 years old, first

year education student in a prestigious
university. I belong to a middle class
family with four siblings, two boys and
two girls. My father is a seaman and my
mother is a fulltime housewife. Although
my father is away most of the time still I
can say that I have a happy family life
and a strong Christian formation.
My problem started when I accepted my
suitor of 1 month. I can proudly say he is
a hunk, every time he looks at me in the
eyes para akong matutunaw, when he
holds my hands I shiver as if there’s an
electric current passing through my
veins, my heart goes wild I am afraid he
might hear it beating. This happens
every time were together. And when
were not together all I think of is him, I
could hardly eat and sleep.
I thought being in love is the best thing
that could happen to a human being. But,
in my case it also made me guilty. My
parents made it very clear that as long as
I am still studying bawal magboyfriend. I
just cant help it tita my world is turning
upside down I can’t afford to be without
him. What I feel right now is he is the
man I want to be with for the rest of my
life.
Last week he wants us to go all the way, I
was able to control my self and said no. I
am afraid tita that the next time he
would ask me I might not be able to say
no, I love him so much that I want him to
be happy, in fact honestly, I want to do it
too but I am afraid I might get pregnant.
Is this true love? What will I do the next
time he would ask me? By the way I am
afraid he would leave me if I will say no
again. I can’t afford to loose him tita
please help me.
Josie
Let’s explore . . .
• Group yourselves according to the same grouping
you have in your research.
• Choose a point person who will lead the
discussion.
• Discuss the case of Josie, what advice will you
give? You may share your own experience if you
feel comfortable sharing it.
• Choose a reporter who will share your group
output.
Let’s explore pa more . . .
• Did anyone in your group shared his/her own
experience?
• What were the feelings that surfaced?
• What was on your mind while doing the
activity?
• Which part of the activity has the greatest impact
on you? Why?
• What learnings or insights did you gain from
this activity?
The 3 stages of love

• Stage 1: Lust

• Stage 2: Attraction

• Stage 3: Attachment
Stage 1: Lust
• This is the first stage of love and is
driven by the sex hormones
testosterone and estrogen – in both
men and women.
• Estrogen and Testosterone are the two
basic types of hormones present
equally in men and women’s body that
excites the feeling of lust within the
brain.
 Stage 2: Attraction
• This phase is said to be one of
the beautiful moments of
life. This is the phase when a
person actually starts to feel the
love.
• This is the amazing time when
you are truly love-struck and
can think of little else.
• Scientists think that three main
neurotransmitters are involved
in this stage; adrenaline,
dopamine and serotonin.
 Adrenaline
• The initial stages of falling for someone
activates your stress response, increasing
your blood levels of adrenalin and
cortisol.
• This has the charming effect that when
you unexpectedly bump into your love
one, you start to sweat, your heart races
and your mouth goes dry.
 Dopamine
• Helen Fisher asked newly ‘love
struck’ couples to have their brains
examined and discovered they have
high levels of the neurotransmitter
dopamine.
• This chemical stimulates ‘desire and
reward’ by triggering an intense rush
of pleasure.
• Fisher suggests “couples often show
the signs of surging dopamine:
increased energy, less need for sleep
or food, focused attention and
exquisite delight in smallest details of
this novel relationship” .
Serotonin
And finally, serotonin.
One of love's most
important chemicals
that may explain why
when you’re falling in
love, your new lover
keeps popping into
your thoughts.
Does love need to be blind?

• Newly smitten lovers often idealise their

partner, magnifying their virtues and explaining
away their flaws says Ellen Berscheid, a leading
researcher on the psychology of love.
• New couples also exalt the relationship itself.
“It's very common to think they have a
relationship that's closer and more special than
anyone else's”.
• Psychologists think we need this rose-tinted
view. It makes us want to stay together to enter
the next stage of love – attachment.
 Stage 3: Attachment
• When a couple passes through the above two
stages of love successfully, the time of
bonding with each other becomes powerful.
• Attachment is a bond helping the
couple to take their relationship to
advanced levels. It instigates the feeling
of bearing children and falling in love
with them wholeheartedly.
• Scientists think there might be two major
hormones involved in this feeling of
attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.
 Oxytocin – The cuddle
hormone
• Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men
and women during orgasm.
• It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and
makes couples feel much closer to one another
after they have had sex. The theory goes that the
more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond
becomes.
• Oxytocin also seems to help cement the strong
bond between mum and baby and is released
during childbirth. It is also responsible for a mum’s
breast automatically releasing milk at the mere
sight or sound of her young baby.
 Vasopressin
Vasopressin is another important hormone
in the long-term commitment stage and
is released after sex.
Vasopressin (also called anti-diuretic
hormone) works with your kidneys to
control thirst. Its potential role in long-
term relationships was discovered when
scientists looked at the prairie vole.
• Prairie voles indulge in far more sex than
is strictly necessary for the purposes of
reproduction.
• They also – like humans - form fairly
stable pair-bonds.
What Can We Do?
What Can We Do?
• With an irresistible cocktail
of chemicals, our brain
entices us to fall in love
• We call it love.
• It feels like love.
• But the most exhilarating of
all human emotions is
probably nature’s beautiful
way of keeping the human
species alive and
reproducing.
FALLING IN LOVE IS STRONGER THAN THE
SEX DRIVE {LOVE IS ALMOST
UNCONTROLLABLE BUT SEX DRIVE IS
DEFINITLY CONTOLLABLE}
Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Components of love
1. Passion- The drive that leads to romance, physical attraction, sexual
consummation, and related phenomena.
2. Intimacy- Feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondness in
loving relationships.
3. Commitment- The decision that one loves someone else and….the
commitment to maintain that love.
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
SINGLE?
ASSIGNMENT