ENG101B: freshman English

Lesson 4

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Objectives:
Today, you’ll learn how to:
Start an essay (or term paper) with a
point.
Distinguish what is a topic and a thesis
statement.
Limit a topic and write a thesis.
Evaluate thesis statements.

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What is a thesis statement?
It is the main-idea sentence for the
entire essay.
It gives the attitude, opinion, or idea
that the writer is going to develop in
the essay.

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1. A thesis statement must be
a complete sentence.
The benefits of the computer. (Not a
thesis statement).
The computer can help students do
research by giving them access to a
wide range of information. (Thesis
statement).

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2. A thesis statement gives an opinion,
attitude, or idea; it should not just
announce the topic of the essay.

I am going to discuss the effects of

VCRs. (Not a thesis statement)
VCRs have increased the choices for
viewers by . . . (Thesis statement)

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3. A thesis statement expresses an
opinion, not a fact, because facts cannot
be argued.

Most aluminum cans have flip tops. (not

a thesis statement)
Flip tops make aluminum cans hard to
open because they . . . (Thesis
statement)

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4. A thesis statement is not a
question (but will often be the
answer to a question).

What are the advantages of credit

cards? (Not a thesis statement)
Credit cards are convenient because
they allow us to . . . (Thesis statement).

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Topic Vs Thesis Statement
A subject is often just a word or a term.

A topic is just a statement that merely tells the

writer’s general subject, which does not make a
point.

A thesis statement, however, MUST make a point

about a limited subject. It is the main point you are
trying to make, using the best evidence you can
marshall. A given assignment may not tell you
that you need to come up with a thesis and
defend it, but these are the unspoken
requirements of any scholarly paper.
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Example:
Subject: Education
A more specific subject: Teachers
An even more specific subject: My high
school math teacher
Topic: I will talk about my high school
math teacher.
Thesis statement: My high school math
teacher was incompetent because . . .

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Writing a good thesis
To start with, you need to limit your
subject/topic.
Then, you need a subject/topic that is neither
too broad nor too narrow.
For example, ‘marriage’ is too broad to cover
in a 500-word paper. You need to narrow it
down until you have a thesis that you can
deal with specifically in about 500 words.

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Example:
General subject: Marriage

Limited subject: Honeymoon

Thesis: A honeymoon is perhaps the

worst way to begin a marriage, because
it forces couples to . . .

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Another example:
General subject: Family

Limited subject: Older sister

Thesis: My older sister helped me

overcome my shyness by . . .

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Yet another example:
General subject: Children

Limited subject: Disciplining of children

Thesis: My husband and I have several

effective ways of disciplining our
children, most importantly, . . .

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Activity: Here are some general subjects. Get
in small groups. Try to limit them and then
write a thesis statement about three of the
limited subjects. Report to the class.

1. Pets
2. Teenagers
3. Television
4. Work
5. College
6. Cooking
7. Money
8. Shopping

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Example/ placement

Different Genders, Different Buildings

In most schools, male and female students traditionally live

in separate buildings in the hostel. However, some people
would challenge this long-standing practice, saying that
male and female students should live in the same building,
because it would benefit both genders a lot, creating a
better understanding of the opposite sex and a more
harmonious atmosphere in the dorm buildings. Although I
won’t deny these good points, male and female students
ought to live in different buildings for the following
three reasons.

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Golden rule 1: Write a thesis
statement, not an announcement.

Poor thesis statements:

1. The subject of this paper is my parents.
2. I want to talk about the crime rate in
Hong Kong.
3. The baby-boom generation is the
concern of this essay.

Tasks: What’s wrong with these thesis

statements? Can you rewrite them to
make them effective?
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Suggested thesis statements:
1. The subject of this paper is my parents. 
My parents each struggled with personal
demons. (vague)
2. I want to talk about the crime rate in our
country.  The rising crime rate in Hong
Kong is primarily caused by . . .
3. The baby-boom generation is the concern
of this essay.  Through its lavish
spending, the baby-boom generation has
changed America into a consumer-minded
culture.
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1. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. This essay will discuss the people you
meet in exercise class.
b. The kinds of workout clothes worn in
my aerobics class identify “jocks”,
“strugglers”, and “princesses”.

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2. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. I made several mistakes in the
process of trying to win the respect
and affection of my teenage stepson.

b. My thesis in this paper is relationships

between stepparents and stepchildren.

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3. Which is a better thesis
statement?

a. A period of loneliness can teach you to

use your creativity, sort out your
values, and feel empathy for others.

b. Loneliness is the subject of the paper.

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4. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. This paper will be about sharing
housework.
b. Deciding who will perform certain
unpleasant household chores can be
the crisis that makes or breaks a
marriage.

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5. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. My concern here is to discuss near-
death experiences reported by some
patients.
b. There are several possible
explanations for the similar near-death
experiences reported by some
patients.

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Golden rule 2: Avoid
statements that are too broad.
Poor thesis statements:
1. Disease has shaped human history.
2. Insects are fascinating creatures.
3. Men and women are very different.

Tasks: What’s wrong with these thesis

statements? Can you rewrite them to
make them effective?
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Suggested revision:
1. Disease has shaped human history.  In
the mid-1980s, AIDS changed people’s
attitude about dating.
2. Insects are fascinating creatures. 
Strength, organization, and communication
make the ant one of nature’s most
successful insects.
3. Men and women are very different.  Men
and women are often treated very
differently in the workplace.

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1. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. In many ways, sports are an
important part of American life.
b. Widespread gambling has changed
professional football for the worse.

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2. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. Modern life makes people suspicious
and unfriendly.
b. A frightening experience in my
neighbourhood has caused me to be a
much more cautious person in several
ways.

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3. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. Toy ads on television teach children to
be greedy, competitive, and snobbish.
b. Advertising has bad effects on all of
society.

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4. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. Learning new skills can be difficult and
frustrating.
b. Learning to write takes work,
patience, and a sense of humour.

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5. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. I didn’t get along with my family, so I
did many foolish things.
b. Running away from home taught me
that my parents weren’t as terrible as
I thought.

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Golden rule 3: Avoid statements that
are too narrow to expand into a
paper (dead-end statement).
Poor examples:
1. The speed limit near my home is 65 miles
per hour.
2. A hurricane hit southern Florida last
summer.
3. A person must be at least 35 years old to
be elected president of the United States.

Tasks: What’s wrong with these thesis

statements? Can you rewrite them to make
them effective?
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Suggested revision:
1. The speed limit near my home is 65 miles per hour.
 The speed limit near my home should be
lowered to 55 miles per hour for several reasons.

2. A hurricane hit southern Florida last summer. 

Federal officials made a number of mistakes in
their response to the recent Florida hurricane.

3. A person must be at least 35 years old to be

elected president of the United States.  The
requirement that a U.S. president must be at least
35 years old is unfair and unreasonable.

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1. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. I had squash, tomatoes, and corn in
my garden last summer.
b. Vegetable gardening can be a
frustrating hobby.

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2. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. The main road into our town is lined
with billboards.
b. For several reasons, billboards should
be abolished.

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3. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. There are now more single-parent
households in our country than ever
before.
b. Organization is the key to being a
successful single parent.

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4. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. My first job taught me that I had
several bad work habits.
b. Because I was late for work yesterday,
I lost an hour’s pay and was called in
to see the boss.

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5. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. Americans abuse alcohol because it
has become such an important part of
our personal and public celebrations.
b. Consumption of wine, beer, and hard
liquor increases in the United States
every year.

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Golden rule 4: Make sure statements
develop only one idea.
Here are three thesis statements that contain
more than one idea:
1. One of the most serious problems affecting
young people today is bullying, and it is
time more kids learned the value of helping
others.
2. Studying with others has several benefits,
but it also has drawbacks and can be
difficult to schedule.
3. Teachers have played an important role in
my life, but they were not as important as
my parents.
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Suggested revision
1. One of the most serious problem
affecting young people today is
bullying.
2. Studying with others has several
benefits.
3. Teachers have played an important
role in my life.

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1. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. Working with old people changed my
stereotypical ideas about the elderly.
b. My life has moved in new directions
since the rewarding job I had working
with old people last summer.

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2. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. The new architecture on this campus
is very unpleasant, although the
expansion was desperately needed.
b. Our new college library building is
ugly, intimidating, and inefficient.

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3. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. Among the most entertaining ads on
TV today are those for mail-order
products.
b. Although ads on TV for mail-order
products are often misleading, they
can still be very entertaining.

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4. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. My roommate and I are compatible in
most ways, but we still have conflicts
at times.
b. My roommate has his own unique
systems for studying, writing term
papers, and cleaning our room.

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5. Which is a better thesis
statement?
a. Although some good movies have
come out lately, I prefer to watch old
movies because they’re more
interesting.
b. Movies of the 1930s and 1940s have
better plots, sets, and actors than
movies made today.

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2. Which of the following is a topic, a thesis
statement, and a supporting sentence?

a. Community colleges are much more

affordable than four-year colleges.
b. There are several advantages to attending a
attending a community college instead of a
four-year school.
c. Community colleges
d. Community colleges typically offer more
convenient and more flexible scheduling
than traditional schools.

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4. Which of the following is a topic, a thesis
statement, and a supporting sentence?

a. Reading
b. Parents can take steps to encourage
their children to enjoy reading.
c. The adults’ own behaviour can
influence children to become readers.
d. Parents can make sure the physical
environment of the home encourages
reading.

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Quiz
Question 1

Which of the following thesis statements is

the most appropriate for introducing
university students to the topic of “co-ed
dormitories” (same-sex hostels) on
university campuses?
A
Five Yale University students have had the
courage to challenge the rule that requires
students to live in coed dormitories, where
many engage in casual sex without shame
and most use coed showers and toilets. The
dormitory environment features the open
availability of sex manuals and condoms, and
attendance at safe sex lectures is required of
freshmen.
B
First came the coed dormitory. Next
there was the coed floor and even the
unisex campus bathroom. But are
colleges ready to embrace the ultimate
step in gender blending -- the coed
room?
C
It is very common that one goes to study in public classrooms
and soon has to retreat because some lovers are billing and
cooing on the left of you and on the right of you. This sort of
public display of affection is For example,, yet one must tolerate
it, for these people are victims of an unreasonable system.
Generally speaking, male and female students live in distinct
dormitory buildings. More often than not there is a
superintendent sitting at the entrance of each dormitory
building, ready to catch the “stowaways” at any moment
(usually boys who try to sneak into their girlfriends’ dormitory
building) The public classroom is one of the few places male
and female students are allowed to be seen together. Thus it
naturally becomes lovers’ refuge. However, their self-indulgent
behavior greatly impacts other students. And the separation
of male and female students in the hostels is the root of the
problem..
Question 2
Given the following topic, are the position and
thesis statement DEFENSIBLE?

Topic: Book censorship

Position: Book censorship is not acceptable
Thesis statement: When books are taken off
library shelves and are dropped from school
curricula, students are denied exposure to the
interchange of ideas.
Answer
Defensible. Most societies do not accept
censorship.
Question 3
Given the following topic, are the position and
thesis statement defensible?

Topic: Television
Position: Television viewing is not acceptable
without limits.
Thesis statement: Children’s television viewing
should be limited, as this is a passive activity
and trains them to accept
information unquestioningly.
Answer
Defensible. Although there is no strong
scientific evidence that it is damaging to
children, the anecdotal evidence suggests
that this is true, and there are many more
productive things that children can do
that will assuredly not have this effect on
them.
Question 4
Are the position and thesis statement
defensible?
Topic: Drugs and athletics
Position: Drugs are acceptable in athletics
Thesis statement: Drugs are necessary in
athletic competitions, because without modern
medicine, athletes could not perform to the
best of their ability.
Answer
Not defensible. Performance enhancing
drugs are known to be dangerous to the
health of competitors and unfairly
disadvantage those who engage in fair
play.

(In other words, the thesis does not

address the main controversy).
Question 5
Defensible or not?
Topic: Diets for weight loss
Position: Diets for weight loss are
necessary
Thesis statement: Dieting to lose and
maintain a healthy weight is a key
strategy in combating heart disease and
other problems.
Answer
Defensible. Although dieting can be
dangerous if there is no medical
supervision, it is important to keep one’s
weight within reasonable limits in order
to prevent serious diseases such as
diabetes, hypertension and heart disease.
Question 6
Defensible or not?
Topic: Grades
Position: Grades are less important than
knowledge in university education.
Thesis statement: Knowledge and skills
are essential to
achieving professionalism; grades are
not.
Answer
Defensible. Knowledge and skills are
essential to professionalism. Grades are
not.