THE CIRCLE 

OF SEXUALITY

Prepared by:
Vicenta R. Licanda
Paltok Elementary School
 The Circles of
Sensuality involves our level of
Sexuality
awareness, acceptance and enjoyment of  

our own or others’ bodies

Body Image/ Human

Sexual Response Intimacy is the ability &
Cycle/ Skin/ Hunger/
Sexualisation is the Fantasy need to experience
use of sexuality to emotional closeness to
influence, control or Media messages/ another person & have it
images/ seduction/ Caring, sharing,
manipulate others withholding sex, rape, loving, risk taking,
returned.
incest vulnerability

Sexual Identity is the

Sexual Health &
Reproduction attitudes &
behaviours towards our
health & the consequences
of sexual activity
Sexual behaviour,
reproductive system,
contraception, STDs
development of a sense
of who one is sexually,
Biological gender,
gender identity and including a sense of
role, sexual maleness and
orientation
femaleness
  Women give birth to babies, men do 
not. 

 Women can breast feed babies, men 
SEX OR  cannot. 
GENDER?
 Little girls are gentle, boys are tough.  

 In schools, boys are appointed 
presidents, girls are secretaries

 Boys are sargeant­at­ arms, girls are 
muses.
SEX OR   Girls have long hair and men have short 
hair. 
GENDER?
 
 Girls have monthly menstruation 
 
 Girls perform better in home economics 
while boys in technology and practical 
arts 
 
 Body hair is OK for men, but women have 
to remove it 

 Male voice break at puberty 
GENDER is very much related to
SEX and many people are often
confused about the distinction
between sex and gender.

What’s the difference?

 SEX GENDER
Difference
Between is the biological is socially
Sex and attributes of a determined and
Gender person. It is culturally
universal and defined. It
can not be changes across
changed. time, age and
culture.
It is a learned
behavior.
PICTURE 
PICTURE!
 Instructions:
1. Rate the characters 1 to 5, such that #1
is the most offensive and #5 is the least
SONIA’S offensive. You have 5 minutes to write
down your answers silently. (Characters:
STORY Sonia, Greg, Jose, Bong, Lito)
2.Discuss with the group your answers for
20 minutes.
3.Assign a reporter in your group to write
your ratings on the board. 2 minutes
given to discuss the group’s rating of
the characters.
 Once upon a time, there was a girl named
Sonia who was in love with a man named
Greg. Greg lived on the other side of the
SONIA’S river where Sonia lived. The river that
STORY separated the two lovers was teeming
with man-eating crocodiles. Sonia wanted
to cross the river to be with Greg.
Unfortunately, the bridge had been
washed out. So she went to ask Jose, a
boatman, to take her across. But the look
in his eyes frightened Sonia, so she went
to her friend Bong and explained her
plight to him. Bong did not want to be
involved at all in the situation. Sonia felt
that her only alternative was to take the
boat, even though she did not trust Jose.
 When the boat was already in the middle
of the river, Jose told Sonia that he
couldn’t control himself and he wanted
SONIA’S to make love to her. When Sonia refused,
STORY he threatened to throw her overboard.
But if she complied, he said he would
deliver her safely to the other side. Sonia
did not want to be eaten alive by the
crocodiles, but she didn’t see any
alternative for herself, so she did not
resist Jose. Jose gratified his desire for
Sonia, then delivered her to the other
shore where Greg lived.
 When Sonia told Greg what had
happened, he blamed her because of the
SONIA’S way she dressed. He saw her as unclean
and cast her aside with disdain.
STORY Heartsick and dejected, Sonia turned to
Lito, a karate black-belter. Lito felt
anger for Greg and compassion for
Sonia. He sought out Greg and beat him
brutally. Sonia was overjoyed at the
sight of Greg getting his due. As the sun
sets on the horizon, we hear Sonia
laughing at Greg.
 Each of the characters in the
SONIA’S story represents a member of
STORY society:
1. Jose
2.Greg
3.Bong
4.Lito
5.Sonia

WHO ARE WE IN THE STORY?

 WHAT IS
CHILD SEXUAL
ABUSE?
DEFINITION
any act on achild by an
OF CHILD
SEXUAL adult/older/more
ABUSE powerful person
for the sexual gratification
of the older person/adult/more
powerful person.
 Non-touching
•Exhibitionism
EXAMPLES OF
CHILD SEXUAL
ABUSE
•Voyeurism

•Pornography

•Verbal sexual stimulation

•Obscene calls

•Letting down the bars of privacy

so that the child watches or
hears sexual acts
 Touching
•Kissing
EXAMPLES OF
CHILD SEXUAL •Touching of breasts or
ABUSE
genitals

•Fondling

•Fellatio / cunnilingus

•Vaginal or anal intercourse or

attempted intercourse

•Prostitution
 1. Grooming – Accommodation
Syndrome
CHARACTERISTICS
OF 2. Lack of consent
CHILD SEXUAL
ABUSE 3. Ambivalence

4. Exploitation

5. Force

6. Intent

7. Secrecy
FIRST
CHARACTERISTIC

1. GROOMING

ACCOMMODATION
SYNDROME
 LACK OF CONSENT
SECOND
CHARACTERISTIC

Consent– power is equal as well

as level of maturity and
knowledge.
THIRD
CHARACTERISTIC Ambivalence
-refers to the confusion of the
child
- the child experiences man
different feelings and receives
different information
FOURTH
CHARACTERISTIC
Exploitation

Refers to the differential of

power and that the more
powerful person is having
his/her needs met at the
expense of the child.
FIFTH
CHARACTERISTIC

Force

Includes violent and

psychological threats
 Secrecy
SIXTH
CHARACTERISTIC

-Offenders depend on secrecy

and the lack of caregivers to
deal with sexual issues.
 Intent
SEVENTH
CHARACTERISTIC

-The intent is always for the

sexual gratification of the abuser.

Intention VS. Effect

 TOUCH CONTINUUM

————————————————
safe confusing unsafe
 SAFE TOUCH
are those which make the receiver feel affirmed. These touches
are experienced by the receiver (child) as warm, caring,
nurturing, supportive. They do not diminish the receiver and do
not take from the receiver. All persons need to receive this kind
TOUCH of touch.

CONTINUUM UNSAFE TOUCH

are those that hurt the receiver, that make the receiver feel bad,
that inflict pain or that seem to disregard the receivers (child’s)
feelings. It is usually very clear that the child does not want this
kind of touch, which are experienced by the child as
manipulative, coercive, abusive, and frightening.
 CONFUSING TOUCH

are those which make the receiver feel uncomfortable,

uneasy, confused, or unsure. The receiver experiences
TOUCH confusion and conflicting feelings about the touch and/or
about the person who does the touching. The intent of the
CONTINUUM adult may be unclear, the touch may be unfamiliar. There
are times when this kind of attention “feels good” but is also
frightening, such as a touch that is sexually stimulating or
stating in front of your friends how wonderful you are, but
initiated by an adult. Thus, the attention or touch that “feels
good” is not always good or safe.
 WHAT DETERMINES THE NATURE OF
TOUCH ?

Whether the touch or attention is “safe” or “unsafe” or

TOUCH “confusing” is determined by how the receiver experiences it,
NOT by the intentions of the person giving the attention or
CONTINUUM doing the touching. The adult may intend the touch/attention
to convey a certain kind of message (support, affection, etc.)
but the message is entirely dependent upon how the receiver
perceives the touch/attention, and the adults has no control
over this. The adult’s intentions are irrelevant.
       Auntie Maria is a
“Is this very large woman
abuse?” with large breasts
and each time she
hugs you, you feel
suffocated in her
breasts.
 Christine wakes up at night
because she is thirsty, and when
“Is this she goes into her parent’s room to
abuse?” ask her mother for water, she
witnesses them having sex. She
doesn’t know what she saw, only
that her parents are enjoying it,
so the next day in school she tells
the boys in her class that she
wants to “fuck,” because that is
the word her mother is using.
 Lily’s mother died from a car
crash when she was 4 years old,
“Is this and consequently her father
abuse?” became very protective of her.
He even always made her keep
the bathroom door open when
she bathed because of the
possibility of slipping on the wet
floor and getting hurt. Now she
is 16 and still keeps the
bathroom door open when she
bathes so that father can
periodically check on her.
   Mark has a teacher who is
“Is this gay but who remains
professional and does not
abuse?” behave inappropriately
with students. Mark’s
teachers sometimes hug
him to congratulate him,
including his gay teacher.
VIDEO •CHARACTERISTICS
SHOWING:
OF CHILD SEXUAL
DAUGHTER ABUSE

•CAUSES OF CHILD
SEXUAL ABUSE
 GROUP Group 1:
What makes a sexual offender? Why do
WORKSH they offend? What are their profile and
characteristics?
OP
Group 2:
What factors in the society that may lead or
tolerate abuse of children?

Group 3:
 What factors within the child that makes
Source: 
Center for the Prevention and Treatment of them wonderful victims of abuse?
Child Sexual Abuse (CPTCSA) 
Finkelhor’s 1. The motivation for sex with
Four children
Preconditions
to Child 2. Overcoming internal inhibitors
Sexual Abuse
3. Overcoming external
inhibitors

4. Overcoming the resistance of

the child
 The motivation for sex with
First
Precondition children
to Child
Sexual Theories:
Abuse
1.Psychological theory
• Fixated
• Regressed

2. Social Learning theory

 To Overcome Internal Inhibitor, the sexual
Second offender has a Grooming Process within
Precondition him/herself:
to Child
Sexual • Justification of Interest
Abuse
• Denial of Injury

• Denial of Victimization

• Condemnation of dissension

• A more “enlightened” viewpoint

 CHARACTERISTICS OF THE
Second SEXUAL OFFENDER
Precondition
to Child •Lack of empathy
Sexual
Abuse •Emotionally/socially immature

•Cognitive distortions / Denial

•Others which overcome internal

inhibitors: alcohol or drug abuse,
feelings of inadequacy,
depression, poor impulse
control, and poor self-concept.
 TYPES OF DENIAL

Second Complete Denial of Responsibility:

Precondition I didn’t do it.
I was out of the state at the time.
to Child She’s lying; she made it up.
I was drunk. I must have blacked out.
Sexual Denial of Intent:
Abuse It just happened.
I didn’t want it to happen, things got out of control.

Denial of Harm:
I did it, but it didn’t hurt him, certainly not as bad as they say.
It didn’t hurt me when I was abused.
 Denial of Frequency:
I did it, but only a few times, not the 20 times he says.
Second Denial of Intrusiveness:
Precondition I only fondled her.
I didn’t sodomize him, no matter what he says.
to Child
Making Excuses:
Sexual I was teaching him about sex.
I was checking her out because she said she’s hurt down there.
Abuse
Minimization of Behavior:
I only touched her.
It wasn’t a big deal.
I only put the “tip” in.
Third Overcoming external inhibitors
Precondition
External Inhibitors
to Child
Sexual – those variables protecting the child,
Abuse including parents, neighbors, teachers,
police, religious leaders, etc.
 NORMS TOLERATING
Third THE ABUSE OF CHILDREN
Precondition
•Difficult implementation of laws
to Child •Lower status for women and children
Sexual •Male as head of household
Abuse •Media portrayal of women and children
as “objects”
•Adultifying children in the media
•Respect for adults and those in authority
•Religious value for family sanctity
•Religious value of forgiveness
•Children as being owned by parents
•“Mind your own business”
•Utang na loob
 Overcoming the resistance
Fourth
of the child
Precondition
to Child Certain traits that all children share
Sexual that make them vulnerable to sexual
Abuse offenders include:

•A child’s natural gift of love and need for

affection
•Lack of resources to the child except
through the family
•Lack of vocabulary
•Lack of context for such as sex or role
models other than the family
 Certain factors, however, make
Fourth some children more at risk than
Precondition most if:
to Child
Sexual •They suffer from a disability
Abuse •They come from an unhappy family
•They have low self-esteem
•They have high needs for affection
and attention
•They have few friends/are isolated
 The most common characteristics
of an incestuous family
Fourth •A father who is dominant and often uses force or violence to meet his
Precondition needs

to Child •A mother who is either physically or mentally absent, often sickly,

passive
Sexual
•A daughter who takes on the role of the mother, “parentification”, acts
Abuse like a little mother, who often makes sure that the father is happy and
the needs of the siblings are met

•Separated from support either due to geographical boundaries (such

as farmers in the province) or socially isolated themselves (no friends).
Variables that
determine how • age
children are affected by
abuse • gender (because boys are socialized to be
aggressive and girls are socialized to be
passive)
•type, frequency, length of abuse
•violence used
•who is the offender
•mental health before the abuse
•support system (especially from family)
 1.DISTRUST OF OTHERS AND THEMSELVES.
2.TERROR AND ANXIETY.
COMMON EFFECTS 3.SHAME, GUILT, AND SELF-HATRED.
OF CHILD SEXUAL 4.ALIENATION FROM THEIR BODIES.
ABUSE 5.ISOLATION AND WITHDRAWAL FROM PEOPLE AND
ACTIVITIES.
6.POWERLESSNESS, DEPRESSION, AND EXTREME PASSIVITY.
7. ANGER.
8. OBSESSION WITH SEX OR COMPLETE AVERSION TO IT.
9. QUESTIONING THEIR SEXUALITY AND GENDER.
10 DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE, ABUSE, AND ADDICTION.
11 EATING DISORDERS.
12 PERFECTIONISM AND WORKAHOLISM.
13 MENTAL ILLNESS AND SUICIDE.
14 SEXUAL OFFENDING.
15. LOW SELF-ESTEEM
 Nina is 9 years old and she is your neighbor. She has 2 older brothers
and 2 younger sisters. Her parents are good providers in that her
father works hard and earns enough money so that her mother can
stay at home. The parents stay at home almost every night, so are
NINA’S available to their children all the time. Nina says she has lots of
friends at school, and you see her playing with a neighborhood girl
STORY outside often.

Nina is always courteous to you and greets you warmly. She never
accepts anything from you, such as a cookie, saying that she has been
taught by her parents not to take things from others. She looks
serious and appears very mature for her age. When she is not playing
with her friend, you see her watching her two younger sisters playing
outside. Nina’s brothers come home from school only for suppers and
you rarely see them.
 You have invited the parents over for tea at times, but they never
accept, giving reasons such as the children or work at home. The

NINA’S
decision is always made by the father. During the day, Nina’s mother
will talk with you, and always tells you how wonderful her husband is.
Nina’s mother is ill often, so at times you will not see her, and when
STORY she is well again, she tells you how much help Nina is to her when she
is ill. She has never told you what makes her ill, always being vague
and changing the subject.
 Nina’s mother is ill again and this time when you see her and ask how
her mother is and offer to help, Nina says her father is coming home
soon and will take care of everything. Nina will not say what is wrong
with her mother, saying she has no time because she has to walk to
NINA’S the corner store for something for supper.

STORY One day a woman knocks on your door and says she is Nina’s teacher
and asks if you know where Nina is, as nobody answers at her home.
The teacher says that Nina has not been to school for several days and
she is worried. She asked one of Nina’s brothers, but he was rude
when he responded to her.
Sama sama tayo para sa isang
LIGTAS na MUNDO para sa mga
BATA…….

Maraming Salamat …

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