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ROKELLE LERNER
Prepared by:
Ms. Theresa N. Tumulak, RPm
What Are Boundaries?
sense of ourselves
perception of how we are different from others
exist for our protection
not fixed
they change with what we feel and the people we are
with
ensure that our behavior is appropriate and keep us
from offending others
How Are Boundaries Violated?
we can honestly determine our feelings Role Reversal - when parents do not
about any situation, person, place, or function as adults, and children become
thing responsible for meeting their parents'
needs
Emotional Incest - when parents
share adult secrets with children
If we take responsibility for expressing Shaming and Humiliation - Parents
our emotions and notice the impact of our who constantly humiliate and blame
behavior on others raise emotionally deprived children
Enmeshment - a term used to
describe families in which members
must have the same feelings and beliefs
as the person in charge
Repairing Emotional Boundaries
Healthy Unhealthy
lets us trust how we view the world too tightly control their children's
perceptions
allows us to know what we want and dependent on their parents to think for
need, and helps us to sort out our them
desires from those of others
lets us accept information from the denied the right to think and feel for
outside world and look at it before we themselves often learn to distrust their
make it "ours” ideas about the world
spend a lot of time figuring out how
they "should" see reality
follow whoever is in charge
denial
Repairing Intellectual Boundaries
journal writing
remind ourselves that feeling crazy is different from
being crazy
guidance of a mentor, a sponsor, or a therapist to
help us
slow down enough to ponder what has been said.
Sometimes we simply have to let ideas float in the air
for a few moments before taking them in. After we
practice this technique we'll begin to discover which
ideas are good for us and which ones aren't
Spiritual Boundaries