Self-control in Children

Ma. Elena Bush

Fresno Pacific University
CD 104/ ECD 420
Guidance in Social and Emotional Behavior
Preview of
Contents
Objective

Understanding Self-control

Assessment on Self-control or
Self-regulation

Strategies in supporting children in

developing self-control or self-
regulation

Conclusion

Resources for Parents

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References
 Objective

• To understand the importance of

self-control or self-regulation in
children
• To learn how children demonstrate
self-control
• To understand how self-control
evolves
• Help children express themselves in a
safe and appropriate way
• How can parents/caregivers/teachers
support children in developing self-
control skills?
 Assessment on Self-control
1) Do you feel that children can control their emotions?

2) Does your child have tantrums when things do not go his/her way?

3) Does your child use physical assault instead of words?

4) Does your child cause self-injury?

5) Do you feel that having a screaming fit is appropriate for a two-year-old?

6) Did your parents let you express your emotions?

7) Do you let your children express their emotions?

8) If your child is yelling, crying, or screaming in a restaurant, do you leave the restaurant?

9) Do your friend’s children behave like your children do?

10) Do you feel that you need more information on how to teach your children to control their emotions?
 Do you feel that children can
Assessment Results control their emotions?

yes no
30% 70%

yes no

Do you feel that having a screaming fit is

appropriate for a two-year old?

yes
no 70%
30%

yes no
 Assessment result on Self-control

0
1) Do you feel 2)Does your 3)Does your 4)Does your 5)Do you feel 6)Did your 7)Do you let your 8)If your child is 9)Do your 10)Do you feel
that children can child have child use physical child cause self- that having a parents let you children express yelling, crying, or friend’s children that you need
control their tantrums when assault instead of injury? screaming fit is express your their emotions? screaming in a behave like your more information
emotions? things do not go words? appropriate for a emotions? restaurant, do children do? on how to teach
his/her way? two-year-old? you leave the your children to
restaurant? control their
emotions?
YES NO
 Assessment Result
Does your child have tantrums when If your child is yelling, crying, or
things do not go his/her way? screaming in a restaurant, do you leave
the restaurant?

Yes No Yes No
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What is self-control?
According to Marion, 2015, “Self-control is the voluntary, internal regulation of behavior. It might well be
one of the most significant changes during early childhood. Also known as self-regulation, it is an essential
part of how children learn, is important in a child’s growth and development, and is fundamental in
preserving social and moral order.” (Marion, 2015, p. 73)
 Understanding Self-control
• “Self-control enables children to cooperate with others, to cope with
frustration, and to resolve conflicts” ("Help Your Child Develop Self-
Control," n.d., para. 1)
• “Self-control means being able to express and cope with strong
emotions in appropriate ways...Self-control also involves thinking skills,
as we decide which of our impulses to act on.” ("Help Your Child
Develop Self-Control," n.d., para. 2)
• “Babies are born with virtually no self-control. They have little-to-no
ability to control their emotional states or behavior. However, the
process of developing self-control begins in a baby’s earliest months
and continues across the first three years and beyond” ("Help Your
Child Develop Self-Control," n.d., para. 3)

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ND
 Self-control Milestones
 Birth to approximately  Between age 1 and age 2  At approximately 24 months  At about 3 years
12 months • Begin to be able to • Can represent • Can use
• Infants are not start, stop, change, experiences and strategies to
capable of or maintain motor recall what someone delay
self-control acts and emotional has said or done.
gratification
• A time to signals. • Ability to transition
• Strategies set the
learn that the • Demonstrate and to developing self-
self is separate emerging awareness control stage for better
from other of demands made • Limited ability to self-control
people. by caregivers. control themselves
• Caregivers discover and delay
children can follow gratification
and adult’s lead.

(Marion, 2015, p. 73)

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 • Toddlers have minds of their own and strong feelings
that they express with gusto. ‘No!’ becomes a favorite
word and a powerful way to assert their independence.
• Toddlers can become easily frustrated because there are
still many things that they want to do but cannot.
• Routines are especially helpful now as they make
children feel secure at a time when they can feel very
out of control.” ("Help Your Child Develop Self-
Control," n.d., para. 10)
• Self-control leads to self-discipline (Detroit
Educational Television Foundation, 1997, 3:40).

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under CC BY-NC-ND
 How Self-control evolves
 Self-control evolves “from the outside to the inside”
Responsible adults control infant’s and toddler’s ego functions
Adults encourage children to internalize and take responsibility for
themselves as they grow older
 Self-control develops slowly
Begins to develop around the age of 2
Control increases as cognitive, perpetual, and linguistic systems develop
 Self-control grows haltingly
At times, you see it and at other times you don’t see it in the same child

(Marion, 2015, p. 73)

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 Strategies to Help Children Develop Self-control
Birth to 12 months:
1. Help your child to soothe herself.
2. Teach acceptable behaviors.

12 to 24 months:
1. Give your child opportunities to choose.
2. Label and recognize your child’s feelings.

24 to 36 Months
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1. Give your child opportunities to choose.
2. Help the child to learn to wait.

("Help Your Child Develop Self-Control," n.d.)

Strategies for Preschool Age Children
1. Enforce limits.
2. Teach more helpful behaviors.
3. Manage strong emotions responsibly.
4. Finish what you are doing, then respond to
requests for attention.
5. Do activities together that require following
directions.
6. Help children understand how long they will
have to wait for something and suggest
activities to do while they wait.
7. Work with your child to complete a puzzle that
has a few more pieces than he or she is used to.

("NAEYC," n.d.)
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SA
 “Letting children know their feelings are
understood helps them calm down and regain
control. This doesn’t mean you give in to their
demand.

‘I know you are mad that you have to

go to bed, but hitting me is not okay.
You can hit this pillow; or we can
read this book together instead.’

Naming and recognizing his feelings helps

your child learn to manage his emotions, an
important skill necessary for later school
success.”

("Help Your Child Develop Self-Control," n.d.)

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 Conclusion

Self-control is an
important part in the
Self-control is learned
child’s learning and
development

Adults need to model to

children appropriate ways Self-control improves
of self-expression and with age
how to regulate emotions
 Resources for Parents

• https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/help-
your-preschooler-gain-self-control
• http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies
.html
• https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/s
piritual-growth-for-kids/teaching-kids-self-
control
• https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/228-
help-your-child-develop-self-control

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 References
CSEFEL. (n.d.). CSEFEL: Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning. Retrieved from
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html

Detroit Educational Television Foundation. (1997). The whole child: Building inner controls[Video file]. Retrieved from
https://learning.fresno.edu/mod/page/view.php?id=1143619

Help Your Child Develop Self-Control. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/228-help-

your-child-develop-self-control

Marion, M. C. (2015). Guidance of young children [Redshelf] (9th ed.). Retrieved from
https://fresno.redshelf.com/book/read/833263/?course_id=2242

NAEYC. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/help-your-preschooler-gain-self-

control
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control"
(Galatians 5:22-23)

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 Presentation Evaluation

1. Did the presenter speak clearly, effectively, and in a

professional manner? Explain your answer.
2. In your opinion, what was the best and worst part of the
presentation?
3. If you could change one thing about the presentation
what would you change?
4. Did the presenter stay focused on the topic and cover all
objectives?
5. Was the presentation entertaining and informational?
Explain your answer.
6. Any comments and/or recommendations for the
presenter?
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