Performance Objectives

Identify the elements of effective

interpersonal communication.
Define “Communication”.
Understand your “Communication style”.
Identify “Barriers” to effective
communication.
Identify negative examples of non-verbal
communication.
Identify Strategies for dealing with difficult
people.
Identify examples of difficult people.
Identify difficult coworkers. How poor
communication contributes to a negative
workplace.
Identify techniques to de-escalate a verbal
confrontation while remaining
professional.
Identify the importance of self-evaluation
“Tactical thinking” when dealing with
difficult people.
Define “Active listening”.
Identify factors that develop a negative
public response.
Identify effective ways to comfort an
emotionally upset individual.
Identify how gender issues contribute to
perceptions of the other’s behavior.
Identify techniques to handle generational
issues.
Identify how personal motivation affects
human behavior.
Officer communication skills. Questioning
and listening techniques
Interpersonal Communication
 Robert Bolton

Eighty percent of people who fail at

work do so for one reason.

They do not relate (communicate)

well with others.
 Communication Defined

thoughts ,
The exchange of: ___________

messages or _______________;
____________, information
speech ________,
By _________, signals ________,
writing or by
behavior
___________

Interpersonal Rapport
 What is your Communication Style?
Communication Style Self-Assessment

It is important to be aware of your

communication style and also the
communication style of those that you
are speaking to.

7
 Roadblocks – What Gets in the Way

Roadblocks can become strengths if we

increase our awareness of our own tendencies,
and acknowledge their impact on all our
interactions
 The primary responsibility of
effective interpersonal
communication lies with:
The Communicator/ Sender
_______________________

4/2/2019 9
 Group Resume

To lead a group of people from many

different countries and cultures
from around the world, into
unchartered territory in the
wilderness to see if it is habitable for
humans.
 IPC IS IRREVERSIBLE

Once the words are said

Non-verbal cue sent

You cannot take it back

Interpersonal Communication

4/2/2019 12
 Body Language
Understanding Gestures in Context

4/2/2019 13
 Examples of Body Language

4/2/2019 14
 Body Language

Hands on hips

Known as confrontational

A non-verbal challenge
 Body Language

Looking away

Ignoring you

Looking for escape route

Preparing to fight or run

 Body Language

Rolling shirt sleeves up

High stress or anxiety

Getting ready to fight

 Body Language

Face and Head

Face conveys emotion

Head conveys attitude

 Body Language

Foot direction

Often indicates where the

person wants to be

One of the hardest to disguise

 Body Language & Officer Safety

Head angle indicates fight or flight

Dropped or raise chin – fight
Confirming gesture of fight fixed stare
Watch area around neck (muscle tightening)
possible attack
“Happy Feet”
Short, choppy gestures/verbal threat is real
Palms out, can indicate emotion
Watch out for deadly hands

Multiple gestures and deadly gaze

Knuckle-popping, flexing means trouble
Red face
Raised eyebrows
Setting of hands
Hands on hips
Fixed dilated stare
Watch the one not talking

Flared nostrils, setting of jaw

Mouth tense, lips down at corners

Eyes wider during periods of intense

emotions
4 Pillars of Non-Verbal
Communication
 Difficult People

Who are they?

The most difficult person you have to

yourself
contend with is ______________

Why are people difficult?

angry, upset, having a bad day
_________________________________
 Dealing with Co-Workers
Student Manual
The Aggressor

The Unresponsive

The Underminer

The Egotist
 5 Ways to Deal with Difficult
Co-Workers

1. Be prepared for conflict

2. Do not fuel the fire

3. Lend a helping hand

4. Get a third party involved

5. Move on
 Managed Conflict
 Strengthens relationships
and builds teamwork
 Encourages open
communication and
cooperative problem solving
 Quickly resolves
disagreements and increases
productivity
 Deals with real issues &
concentrates on win-win
resolution
Unmanaged Conflict
 Damages relationships and
discourages cooperation
 Results in defensiveness
and hidden agendas
 Wastes time, money and
human resources
 Focuses on blaming and
fault finding
 Managed Conflict Unmanaged Conflict

 Makes allies and defuses  Creates enemies and

anger hard feelings

 Airs all sides of an issue  Is frustrating, stress-

in positive supportive producing and
environment energy-draining

 Is orderly, calm and  Is often loud, hostile and

focused out of control
Peace is not found avoiding conflict

Peace is attained by learning to live with

and successfully manage conflict
 Advantages of Conflict

Conflict presents many positive aspects.

It can be an opportunity for __________

personal
growth
_________
 In a Conflict Situation
Before you attempt to control others,
you must first maintain control of
yourself (mentally, emotionally, and
physically)
Losing control of self can result in:
– Over-reaction, loss of situational awareness,
escalation of violence, lawsuits and
personnel complaints.
You must remain:
“Professional Under Pressure”
 Elements of Public Safety
Professionalism
celebrity
Peace Officers enjoy ________________
status
_________
________
School is never out for a
professional
________________
Required to adhere to a set of policies
Code ___
and procedures, a _______ of ________
Ethics
True professionals honor this
responsibility and do not misuse their
authority
______________
 Remaining Professional Under
Pressure

1. Personalize your service

Leave Ego Out

2. Be a L.E.O. (__________________)

3. Treat people with dignity and respect

4. See the other person’s point-of-view

5. Use active listening

6. Stretch your flash point

7. Give people a way out that looks good

to them

8. Agree, then turn it around

9. Focus on your professional objective;

sidestep insults

10. Role model what you want

11. Give before you get

12. Use positive self talk

13. Life is a marathon, not a 100-yard

dash

14. Project professionalism. Use

professional voice and body language
to strengthen credibility

15. Be reasonable and rational

 What Are Your Tools?
You can gain or lose control by your:
verbalization
– _________________
body _____________
– _______ language

Confrontation vs. cooperation – decide

what you want.

Remember, _____
98% of law enforcement is
done by verbalization.
 Tactical Thinking

Gaining and maintaining control of

situations means control of people.

Controlling yourself comes first

Controlling your thought process, how

you talk to yourself, is the key to
Self Control
______________
 Problems that Inhibit
Professionalism
Negative mind set = a bad attitude

Negative self-talk

Lacking a positive belief of self

Failure to take responsibility

Lack of self-discipline

Performing less than our best

No goals

Failure to be open to learn

Only seeing our own view

Being dishonest

Avoiding Conflict

Lacking self-confidence

Lacking self-respect

Treating others disrespectfully

 If under duress, you cannot
perform well

100%
Professional
Zone

Performance

0% 100%
Tension / Stress
 Cycle of Behavior

Behavior Consequences

Reinforcement
Emotions
Self Talk

Self Talk
Beliefs
(Thinking)
 How to Stop the Cycle

Self _____
_____ Talk

Challenge long-standing limiting beliefs

Improve from your past

Practice, study, learn

Positive self-talk can break the cycle of

unproductive behavior
 Expectations vs. Reality

EXPECTATIONS

STRESS

REALITY

The larger the gap the higher your stress level.

 General Mind Set

To successfully and effectively

concern
communicate, have honest ____________,
and an empathetic caring
_____________, __________
attitude
_________

Be a L.E.O. (________

Leave _____
Ego _____)
Out

 Great Leaders are Great Communicators

 Great Communicators are Great Listeners

 Active Listening vs. Listening

Active __________
________ Listening = understanding
or comprehending the intended message.
Speaker feels respected.

Listening = hearing – not necessarily

___________
understanding or communicating the
intended message.
 Active Listening
Gives them what they need and calms
them down because it makes them
respected
feel ___________
It also empties their angry cup
Hard ______
Active listening is ______ Work
You learn a lot
By listening you motivate
__________ them to
listen
People speak 100-175 words per minute

We listen at about 300–400 words per

minute

Here is how your message is received:

7
– What: ____% verbal (words you use)
38 is your voice (tone, intonation)
– How:_____%
55 is body language
– Seen:_____%
 Active Listening

Three responsibilities for the listener:

Attending Following
___________ Reflecting
__________ ___________
(non-verbal) (verbal) (feedback)
(confirming)
 Listening with Purpose
(Mental Discipline)
Listen to more than words – how does
the person feel
Listen with your eyes

What are they saying and how is it said

“Law of Reciprocity”

Physical Discipline

Deep Listening
 Speaking:
Projecting Professionalism
What we say vs. How we say it

Audience will only get ___%

7 from verbal
______

tone ___
38% by your _____ of voice
______

55% is what they pick up _________

visually
7
Only ___% is delivered by words you use.
93
_____% by how you say what you say.
 Factors That Develop a Negative
Public Response

Condescending
Dishonest/ deceptive
Manipulative
Threatening/ confrontational
Inattentive
Insincerity
Lack of follow-through
Lack of preparation
4/2/2019 51
Assumptions, bias, prejudice
 How to Deal with Insults,
Challenges & Verbal Hostility
Remain professional in how you project
yourself

Remain professional while taking verbal

flak

Maintain your self control (Do not allow

anyone to push your buttons)
 thermostat not a thermometer
Be a _____________

Never _____
_______ play ______
their ______
game
 Six Steps to Manage Verbal
Hostility
Positive _____
1. Use _________ self ______
talk
2. Ignore, deflect insults
3. Use a process comment
4. Use active listening
5. Make an agreement comment
6. State what you need.
 Upset, Difficult, Dangerous

______
Role ____________:
Modeling projects an
example of what you want to accomplish.

Presenting yourself in a calm, professional,

peaceful image does not add to the tension

Seek cooperation
7 Steps in Gaining Cooperation
Positive ______-_______
1. Use __________ Self Talk
2. Project Professionalism
_________________
3. Ask
____ - for what you want
4. Explain
__________
___________ (good vs. bad)
5. Negotiate
6. Clarify cooperation vs. resistance
7. Time to repeat and reinforce the
negotiation points or escalate to force
 Practical Solutions to Real
Problems
1. Provide clear information

2. It is OK to tell the person you are sorry

for their pain

3. If experiencing confusing emotions,

explain that it is normal

4. Avoid interrupting
5. Help people focus on short-term goals

6. Be willing to accept people for who they

are

7. Be tolerant

8. Do not be afraid to say “I do not know”

 Emotionally/Mentally
Disturbed People
1. Size can be deceiving
2. Perceptions may differ considerably
3. Pace the contact
4. Patience can be priceless
5. Maintain tactical vigilance
6. Get as much information as possible
prior to contact
 Police and ASD

1. Autistic Disorder

2. Asperger’s Disorder

3. Rett’s Syndrome

4. Childhood Disintegrative Disorder

5. Pervasive Developmental Disorder

 28 Principles to Guide You
When Dealing with ASD
1. First be safe
2. Persons with ASD are diverse
3. Manage your back-up
4. Do not interfere with “self-stimming”
5. Move
6. Allow for acclimation
7. Do not expect eye contact
8. Do not equate inability to speak with
deafness or illiteracy

9. Do not read meaning into words alone

10. Use a normal volume of voice
11. Keep your tone of voice soft
12. Use an economy of words
13. Give them extra time to answer (11 sec)
14. Dispel their fear
15. Say “good job: to kids and adults
16. Use unthreatening body language
17. Model the behaviors you want to see

18. Personal space is relative

19. Look for a cause

20. Striking out is communication

21. Tell them the “rules”

22. Quiet hands and feet

23. Biting is a common defensive behavior

 Gender Issues
 Men – final solution oriented
– Use fewer words to express themselves
– Go straight to the bottom line and back fill only if
necessary
– Tend to finish one topic before going to another topic
– Does not nod head unless agreeing during conversation
Women – Talk all points of the issue
– Use more words to make a point
– Want to discuss the issue or problem to come up with
a solution
– Often change topic in middle of conversation
– Nods head as a person speaks (not agreement)
 Generational Possibilities
Veteran BB GenX GenY
1925-1945 1946-1964 1965-1979 1980-2000

Outlook Practical Optimistic Skeptical Optimistic

Work Ethic Dedicated Driven Balanced Need

Guidance

View of Respectful Love/Hate Un- Un-

impressed impressed
Authority

Leadership Hierarchy Consensus Competence Flexibility

by
Relation- Personal Personal Reluctant to Personal
ships sacrifice gratification commit gratification

Perspective Civic Team Self Self

 5-Star Treatment

You must give before you get respect

___-_____
5 Star _____________
Treatment cost you
nothing but it pays big dividends.
 How to Maintain Self Control

Energy, effort and self-discipline

Strengthen your self-confidence and self-

discipline
 Turn Weakness into Strength

Plato had a speech impediment so he put

pebbles in his mouth and practiced trying
to speak clearly.

Wilma Rudolph was in leg braces at age

11 due to polio. At 16, she won a silver
medal for sprinting at the Olympics. At
age 20, she won 4 gold medals at the
Olympics.
Spud Webb N.C. Hornets – NBA slam
dunk champ. He is 5’9”

Demsey, NFL football place kicker only

has ½ a foot
 All four of these people:
Personal _________________
Took __________ Responsibility
for their short comings

Had or developed positive

___________ a __________
attitude in themselves
_________

Developed a high frustration tolerance

Self Discipline
(_____-____________)
Developed and maintained tremendous
self-control.
 Officer Communication
Interview Skills
Information Questions
– How, Who, What, Where, When, Why
Precision Questions
– What exactly? When exactly? Who exactly?
How Much?
Powerful Questions
– What is stopping you? What are you afraid
might happen if you….?
Reflective Questions
– So you are saying that…..
 Probing Questions

Clarifying – Are you saying that …?

Understanding – Could you explain
further?
Offering Ideas/Insights – Have you
thought of….?
Digging Deeper – What else happened?
Unpeeling Layers – And then what
happened?
 Use Open-Ended Questions

Make no suggestions
Invite witnesses or victims to talk in
their own words
Act as a memory prompt
Get people talking
Encourage full answers
Help to get accurate information
 Examples

What can I do to help? (open-ended)

Can I help you? (closed- ended)

Can you explain to me how you feel?(open)

Are you upset? (closed)
 Avoid Closed-End Questions

Courts may consider them as leading

Do not suggest an idea to the witness or
victim
Do not lead the witness or victim to
repeat what YOU said
Avoid one word answer questions.
Example: Does the suspect have a beard?
 How To Get Information

Let the witness or victim talk 80% of the

time
Use their words when you ask subsequent
questions
Do not interrupt a statement
Ask victim to confirm points
 Examples of Powerful
Questions
What can I do for you?

What do you think the problem is?

What is your role in this situation?

What is preventing you from….?

Tell me more about that?

Explain to me how you are feeling?

 Emergency/Death Message
_____ ____
Follow ______ _____
Your Agency Policy
 Be sure of your victim’s ID and status
 Choose location
 Keep objectivity
 Keep information release minimal
 Discreet radio traffic
 Bring support
 Be prepared for different reactions
 Leave contact information
Be kind, considerate and professional
 Media

Know your agency policy

What can happen if released improperly

If you have to give out information

– Keep it to a minimum
– Never say “No Comment”
– Refer them to person who can assist or give
a time when information can be released
The media are paid to get the story, do
you who gave them the
not let it be _____
information that compromises an
investigation, embarrasses the
department or who is charged with a
policy or law violation.
 How to Meet and Greet
Professionally
1. Set the tone
2. I.D. yourself and your organization
3. State the reason for the contact
4. Their reason for behavior
5. Make request
6. Inform them of your actions
7. Professional close
P= ____________
Positive belief in yourself
R= Responsible for who you are
_______________
O= Open to the reality of life
_______
F= Fit for life: mentally, emotionally,
_____
E= Empathy concern for others
___________:
S= Self Discipline build high tolerance
_______________:
S= Self Confidence
__________________
I = Intelligence maintain expertise
______________:
O= On Time Good time management
__________:
N= Noble high moral character
________:
A= Assertive take control
___________:
L= Love yourself, others, your work
_______:
Questions, Comments,
Concerns