Peer Response Workshop

Brainstorm Organize Draft Revise Proofread Publish

Ideas Sections Scope Expand or Grammar Ready for

Narrow audience
Ideas Topics Introduction Spelling
Focus Thesis
Ideas Logical Thesis Format
Relationships Re-organize
Organization
Sequence Topic
Paragraphs Sentences
Support Support
Sentence Craft
The Purpose of this Peer Workshop:
authorial reading
To identify opportunities for meaningful revision

To understand how a reader perceives ideas

To develop a sense of what readers need

To understand how rhetorical choices influence

readers

To practice skills in providing constructive and

productive feedback

NOT to correct, proofread, or edit

 Authorial Reading Helps us as Writers

Author Text Reader

 The Importance of Tone
Be constructive, not destructive
Destructive: You dont have any evidence.
Constructive: The point is clear, but the paragraph could use
more evidence. For example, [author] tells us that ______

Focus on the possibilities, the next steps

Nice, but not useful: Good job! Im sure youll get an A.
Better: Based on what you say so far, Im hoping you go on
to discuss ________.

Focus on the writing, not the writer

You need to organize your paragraphs better.
The transition from Paragraph 2 to Paragraph 3 is a little
rough. What would happen if you switched the order of
them?
Paragraph 2 states that __________. Another point of view
that could be interesting to consider is _______________.
Example Feedback/Comment
Example comments
You mention in Paragraph __ that certain countries tend to
desire rights and liberties they dont have I dont completely
understand whom you were referring to. By incorporating support
from the texts, it will provide readers with a clearer and more
concise understanding of your ideas. Also, when I read this
paragraph, I immediately thought of the chapter From Stone Age
to Twitter in Hoffmans novel. He shares his historical insight
during the ban of media in Afghanistan. This could be a great
example to use in this paragraph.
I am confused here when you say in Paragraph ___ that, Reading
falsehoods can sway a population more blatantly than people
picking up on the subtleties of language, but both can still equally
affect democracy. What are you referring to when you say
subtleties of language? Moreover, how do they affect democracy?
One way to clarify this would be to extend this idea further to
provide readers with a better explanation.
Example Feedback/Comment
Example Global Comments
What I like about your essay is that it contained a clear thesis that
framed your essay very well. Your body paragraphs were also very
well writtenit contained easily recognizable main ideas that
supported your thesis. Moreover, you brought up current events
that I thought tied together with your thesis.
The area from the Essay Rubric that could be most improved
is Paragraph Development. I would rate it currently as
"Developing" because, though you share insightful examples from
current events, the paragraphs don't yet incorporate examples/or
quotations from Hoffman and Gladstone. If you were to add this,
it would contextualize your observations about current events in
relation to some of the concepts the authors discuss. Sometimes,
the essay refers to information from the texts, but these would be
stronger if the texts/authors were mentioned by name and cited.
You might want to check out Ms. Fong's lecture on using text
support.
 Reflect
Review the feedback you received:
Based on the feedback you received, what is your plan for
revision? What specific feedback will you consider further,
and what specific steps will you take to improve your essay?
Where can you get help on your essay if you need it?

In your Reflection Journal: Analyze and evaluate the peer

response session. In your view, what are the features of an
effective peer response session? What did you observe
about the process? In what ways did it exhibit the features
of an effective peer response? In what ways could it be
improved?
What are your goals for making the most out of our next
peer response session?