EMPATHY

Definition
Empathy is the ability to step into the inner world of
another person and step out of it again.

At all times we remain ourselves.

It means trying to understand the thoughts, feelings,

behaviours and personal meanings from the others
internal frame of reference.

It means to imagine oneself in anothers place and

understand the others feelings, desires, ideas and
actions.
Empathy does not mean we become the other
person.
Empathy is not a state that one reaches, it is
a transient thing.
Empathy is one of the highest qualities a
person can demonstrate.
The difference between empathy and
identification is that in identification the as if
quality is absent. We have become the other
person.
Empathy is not to be confused with sympathy in
which a person often takes on the emotion of the
other.

In empathy, the person can feel for the other

but still remain objective/and separate from
speakers experience.

The important aspect of being empathetic is the

desire to understand and the ability to
communicate that desire.
Reflections of feelings is the term that has
been used for the xpression of empathy and is
another way of showing that the listener is
aware of the speakers feelings

You feel sad

You feel forgotten, left out
Staying in the speakers/clients frame of reference.

The frame of reference is a two-part concept

which is emphasised in person-centred
counselling.
Internal frame of reference: the
inner world of the client
Cultural influences Beliefs
Thoughts

Values Memories

Client
Behaviours Experiences
s inner
world
include
s
Sensations Feelings

Perceptions
Meanings
Empathy Scale
Carkhuff and his associates devised a method by which Empathy
can be taught and counsellors/listeners responses objectively
rated. He set up five levels of empathic responding.

Gazda and his associates drawing from Carkhuff, use four levels
of empathic response.

The basic idea of an Empathic Response is to take what the

client/speaker has said and identify the surface and underlying
feelings and present it back to the person in different words so that
he/she can hear what he/she has said from a different perspective.

It is also a way of checking whether or not one is really in tune with

what the client is saying.
Empathy Scale contd;

Rating Scale Key concepts

4.0 A response which goes Underlying feelings
beyond surface feelings reflected.
to identify and reflect
underlying feelings.

3.5
 Rating Scale Key concepts
3.0 A response which Surface feelings
accurately reflects reflected
surface feelings.

2.5
 Rating Scale Key concepts
2.0 A response which only Partial reflection
partially reflects surface of feelings.
feelings.

1.5
 Rating Scale Key concepts
1.0 A response which Fails to reflect
does not reflect even feelings.
surface feelings. It could
be hurtful or irrelevant.

(Adapted from Gazda, p. 88)

For example, a response that only partially reflects feelings

but accurately reflects content may be rated at 2.5 rather than
at 2.0
Client/Speaker Statement

I used to pray regularly, but since God took my son from me, I dont care if I ever pray again.
Possible Responses:

Level 1: Thats terrible! You simply have to

keep praying. This is a Level 1 response
because it completely ignores the feelings of
the client. It is judgemental and therefore
hurtful. The counsellor imposes his agenda on
the client.
Possible Responses
contd;

Level 2: Prayer is no longer a value for you.

This is a Level 2 response because it picks up
only partially the feelings and content of what
the other has said.
Possible Responses
contd;

Level 3: The death of your son has caused you

to lose all interest in prayer. This is an
accurate reflection of content and surface
feelings, but does not get at the underlying
feelings.
Possible Responses
contd;

Level 4: You blame God for the death of your

son and that makes you so angry that you cant
pray. This response gets at the underlying
feelings of the client. It conveys to the person
that the counsellor understands at a very deep
level how the client is feeling.
Empathic Responses
1. Key experiences - what is happening to the
person.

2. Key behaviours - what is s/he doing, not

doing or failing to do.

3. Key feelings - main feelings associated with

these experiences and behaviours.
The Formula
You feel (key feeling/feelings) ____________

because/when (i.e. experiences and behaviours)

___________________ provides essentials for

An empathic response. (Egan)

Empathic responses can be kept tentative by using a
phrase such as

It sounds as if
I sense that
It appears as if
It looks like
I hear you say
In front of Formula above

e.g. I sense that you feel sad because moving house

(experience) means leaving all your friends (behaviour).
Uses of Empathy
1. Builds the relationship - Trust
- Receipt

2. Helps self exploration - Awareness

- Move forward

3. Conveys understanding - Explore more

deeply
USES OF EMPATHY
4. Check understanding.

5. Provides support vs isolation.

6. Helps communication dialogue

7. Helps focus (core issues). See issues more

clearly, in context.
Blocks to Empathy
Being preoccupied
Feeling troubled, defensice, anxious, tired,
stressed.
Strong feelings of sympathy or dislike towards
person.
Feeling shocked, embarrassed by what is
heard values.
Needing to be rewarded, like, needed.
Fear of others pain.
Forming theories solutions, judging.
Identification.
Suggestions for the Use of Basic
Empathy
Remember that empathy is, ideally, a way of
being and not just a professional role of
communication skill.
Attend carefully, both physically and
psychologically, and listen to the
clients/speakers point of view.
Try to set aside your biases and judgements
for the moment and walk as it were, in the
shoes of your client/speaker.
As the client/speaker speaks, listen for the
core message.
Listen to both verbal and nonverbal messages
and their contexts.
Respond fairly frequently, but briefly, to the
clients/speakers core messages.
Be flexible and tentative enough so that the
client/speaker does not feel pinned down.
Be gentle, but keep the client/speaker
focussed on important issues.
Respond to the main features of core
messages experiences, behaviours, and
feelings, unless there is reason for
emphasising one over the others.
Gradually move toward the exploration of
sensitive topics and feelings.
After responding with empathy, attend
carefully to cues that either confirm or deny
the accuracy of your response.
Determine whether your empathic responses
are helping the client remain focused, while
developing and clarifying important issues.
Note signs of client stress or resistance. Try
to judge whether these arise because you are
inaccurate or because you are too accurate.
Keep in mind that the communication skill of
empathy, however important, is a tool to help
clients see themselves and their problem
situations more clearly with a view to
managing them more effectively.