Assertive Communication

What is Assertiveness
Enjoyingyour
Enjoying yourrights
rights Integrity
Integrity

Expressing your
yourFeelings
Feelings Honesty
Honesty
Expressing
Assertiveness With
Askingfor
Asking forwhat
whatyou
youwant
want Directness
Directness

Respectfor
Respect forOthers
Others
Statingyour
Stating yourviews.
views.

Assertiveness is upholding ones own integrity and dignity whilst at

the same time encouraging and recognizing this behavior in others.
Why Assertiveness.
People value their individual freedom.
It empowers people who use it.
It encourages psychological health in those who use it..
It helps individuals to pursue what they want.
 Yourself

Family Subordinates

Friends Managers
You

Network Teams

Clients Colleagues

With whom can you be assertive

 In negotiations

When you want

In facing criticism
something.

When you dont

want something You When angry

When you are hurt To give feedback

When you are

happy

When to use Assertiveness.

Keeping the Balance with Assertiveness

Needs of Others

Our Needs

Non Assertive Assertive Aggressive

Non Assertive : When we put all the needs of others before our own.
Aggressive: When we put personal needs before those of others.
Assertive: When we balance our needs and those of others .
Three Behavior Types
Non Assertive Behavior.

Aggressive Behavior.

Assertive Behavior.
Non Assertive Behaviour.
The non-assertive person:
Is reluctant to express own opinions, and particularly, feelings.
Often feels used by others
Keeps quiet when others take advantage.
Refrains from complaining when services or products are not up to the desired
standards.
Finds it difficult to refuse the request of others for time or resources.
Acquiesces in the views and desires of the majority even though these conflict with
personal wishes.
Non Assertive Behavior
Frequently makes compromises in the interests of harmony.
Is unwilling to inconvenience people for the things he or she
wants.
Is submissive in the presence of aggressive behavior.
Prefers to keep own views private.
Aggressive Behavior
The aggressive person:
Frequently argues with others.

Frequently gets angry and thinks that others need to be put in their

place.
Has no difficulty in complaining when receiving poor quality

products or services.
Usually gets own way in situations.

Expects others to accommodate own time schedules.

Has strong views on many subjects and has no difficulty in

expressing them.
Aggressive Behavior
Easily and frequently finds fault with others.
Continually works to personal agendas at the expense of others
Rarely feels aware of the needs or feelings of others.
Competes with others and is angry if not successful.
Assertive Behavior
The assertive person:
Is able to express desires and feelings to others.

Is able to converse and work well with people at all levels.

Is able to appreciate the views of others and accept any that

appear more reasonable than their own.

Is able to disagree with someone yet retain their friendship and

respect.
Is aware of the needs and desires of others
Assertive Behavior
Is able to make concessions to others without feelings of inadequacy.
Is able to express a concern or a need with minimum embarrassment
to both parties.
Is able to control feelings and emotions even in difficult or emotionally
charged situations.
Is able to refuse a request without feeling guilty or obliged.
Is able to ask for what he or she wants and can insist on legal
entitlements without becoming emotional
Communicating Assertively at Work.
Step one: Choose the right approach.
Step two: Practice projecting a
positive image.
Use winning language.
Visualize yourself how you would like to be.
Step three: Condition others to take
you seriously.
Always take responsibility for your
communication.
Be aware of the non verbal gestures.
Communicating Assertively at Work.
Step four: Use positive body language..
Stand tall, breath deeply, and look people in the
eyes when you speak.
Instead of anticipating the negative outcomes,
expect something positive.
Listen actively to the other party with empathy.
Inquire about their thoughts and feelings by using
open questions.
Dont let people talk down to you when your are
sitting down.
Step five: recognize different communication styles.
Aggressive.
Passive.
Assertive.
 Steps to success.
Communicating Assertively at Work.
Try to avoid feeling resentful.
Remember that sometimes
passivity is the best approach.
Speaking positively and using
positive body language.
Listen carefully to others
opinions.
Assertive Communication
Assertive people tend to:
Use I statements such as I think, I want., I feel..
Make brief statements, to the point, not rambling ones.
Distinguish between fact and opinion.
Offer suggestions without heavily loaded advice: how about tackling it this
way; Have you tried.; Would it be possible to..
Pose constructive criticism stating facts about peoples action, not
attacking them as people.
Discover thoughts, opinions and wants of others through questions.
Seek solutions ways of getting round problems; Is there some way we
could..; May be if we tried..; Another way might be.
Assertiveness Skills
Broken Record.
Negative assertion.
Fogging.
Negative inquiry.
Power words.
Making request assertively.
Never apologize for seeking help.
Be direct.
Keep it short.
Do not try to justify yourself.
Never sell the request with flattery or praises.
Avoid playing on peoples friendship or good nature.
Do not take refusal personally.
Respect the other persons right to say no.
Disagreeing without aggression.
State clearly that you disagree.
Express doubts constructively.
Use I statements.
Change your opinion in the light of new information.
Give reasons for your disagreement.
Say exactly what you disagree with.
Recognize other peoples point of view.