Positive Discipline &

Guidance

The keys to well-behaved children.

Tough Love vs. Spanking

Most of Americas population thinks it is improper to

spank children. I recently heard from a friend who has

tried other methods to control their kids when they have
one of those moments.
One that she found very effective was to just take the
child for a car ride and talk.
They usually calmed down and stopped misbehaving after
their little outing together.
Here is the photo of one of those sessions with my friends
son in case you would like to try this technique.

Tough Love Session

Punishment

A penalty for a wrong doing.

Severe treatment.
Use as a last resort
Forces child to obey.
Child learns to obey out of fear.

Child Learns:

1.
2.
3.

RESENTMENT
REVENGE
RETREAT
1. Low self esteem
2. Sneaky

Discipline
To bring to order through

teaching & training.

Fair & consistent.
Child learns to obey and
be responsible for their
actions.
Self-control is the goal.
Use as often as needed,
variety of methods.

Guidance
To give advice,

counsel or help.
Child learns what is
expected of them.
Learn by example.
A parents daily job!!

SELF-DISCIPLINE
The ability to control ones own behavior.

The goal of guidance and discipline

Reasons for Misbehavior

Normal for the age.

For power.

Natural curiosity.

For revenge.

Dont know better.

Feel inadequate.

For attention.

To feel they belong.

Unfulfilled needs

Environment

A misbehaving child is a discouraged child.

Why?

MISBEHAVIOR:
Is based on a childs

mistaken
interpretation of how
to find BELONGING
& SIGNIFICANCE!

Most common

reasons for why

children misbehave

Where did we ever get

the crazy idea that in
order to make a child
do better, first we have
to make them feel
worse?

Children do better

when they feel

better!

Solution to All Misbehavior:

Spend special time
With the child each Day!
ALSO>>>>>>>

Believe that children are GOOD!

Share your feelings
Find a solution together
Correct Timing - calm down
Get into the childs world show understanding
Children will listen to you after they feel

Solution to Attention Problems:

Ignore if possible
Give attention when good
Redirect
Logical consequences
Choices

Solution to Power Problems:

Withdraw
Cool off,
Problem solve together
Win cooperation
Act

4 Steps for Winning Cooperation:

1. Get into childs world
Check it out
2. Show understanding
3. Share your feelings
4. Find a solution together

Solution to Revenge Problems:

Withdraw from revenge cycle
Win child over
Solve the problem
Take away items they could destroy
Apologize if needed

Solution to Inadequacy
Problems:
Avoid pity
Encourage & train
Create small successes
Dont give up

Why is this child misbehaving?

Write the reason for their misbehavior
Jane, 3 year old, goes into Moms bedroom and
uses lipstick to draw on Moms bedspread.
Mom asks David (5) to set the table and he
yells, I dont want to
Mary is building a tower and soon begins
throwing them in anger.

Types of Parenting Styles and

Outcomes
Most parent can be classified into three main

types by the style in which they guide their

children. As you look at each, think about
where your own parents fits most
appropriately. Do each of your parents use
the same style? Do you fit the outcome?

Authoritarian:
Limits
without
Freedom.
Parents word
is law, parents
have absolute control.
Misconduct is punished
Affection and praise are rarely give
Parents try to control children's behavior and

attitudes
They value unquestioned obedience
Children are told what to do, how to do it, and
where to do it, and when to do it.

Outcomes of Authoritarian Style

Obedient
Distrustful
Discontent
Withdrawn
Unhappy
Hostile
Not High Achievers
Often Rebel

Children from authoritarian

homes are so strictly

controlled, either by
punishment or guilt, that they
are often prevented from
making a conscious choice
about particular behavior
because they are overly
concerned about what their
parents will do.

Permissive:
Freedom
without
limits.
Parents allow their
children to do
their own thing.

Little respect for order and routine.

Parents make few demands on children.
Impatience is hidden.
Discipline is lax
Parents are resources rather than standard makers
Rarely punish
Non controlling, non-demanding
Usually warm
Children walk all over the parents

Outcome of Permissive Parenting

Aggressive

Children from permissive

Least self

homes receive so little

guidance that they often
become uncertain and
anxious about whether
they are doing the right
thing.

reliant
Least selfcontrolled
Least exploratory
Most unhappy

Democratic:
Freedom
within
limits.
Stress freedom along with rights of others

and responsibilities of all

Parents set limits and enforce rules
Willing to listen receptively to childs requests and questions.
Gives both love and limit to children
Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of
their own decisions
Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning
behind it.
Respect childrens interest, opinions, unique personalities.
Loving, consistent, demanding
Combine control with encouragement
Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.

Outcomes of Democratic Style

Happy
Mostly self-reliant
Mostly self-controlled
Content, friendly,
generous
Cooperative
High-achiever
Less likely to be
seriously disruptive or
delinquent

Children whose parents

expect them to perform well,

to fulfill commitments, and to
participate actively in family
duties, as well as family fun,
learn how to formulate goals.
They also experience the
satisfaction that comes from
meeting responsibilities and
achieving success.

MOM SONG
Click to listen to
the song

Discipline Techniques
Each child is different and
different things will work for each child.

Positive Statements
Telling a child what they CAN do, rather than

what they CANT do.

Instructions are more clear.
Children feel good.
Works for: all ages!
Please walk instead of
Dont run

Practice Positive Statements

What would you say?

Dont hit your sister again!

Dont forget your lunch!
Dont slam the door!
Dont climb up the slide!

Dont listen to that kind of music!

Redirect Attention
If a child is doing something you do not

want them to do.give them something

else to do.
Distract them with another option
Works for: young children
6 months to 10 years

Reverse Attention
Ignore inappropriate behavior and deal with

problem when child is no longer seeking

attention.
Only works if child is trying to get attention.
Works for: older children
ages 7-18.

Time Out
Gives children an opportunity to re-gain

control of their emotions.

One minute for each year.
Quiet spot, tell them why they are there, restate the rule, have them apologize at end.
Works for: young children
ages 2 9.

Loss of Privilege
Remove a privilege if behavior is inappropriate.
Lots of different privileges can be removed.
Be consistent! Follow through.
Threats are no goodstick to it.
Works for: older children

ages 5 18.

Setting Limits
Children need limits on their behavior.
They want to know what is acceptable and

allowed.
Rules should be fair, consistently enforced and
help children learn responsibility and self-control
Works for: all ages!

Limited Choices
2 or 3 options.
Gives child a sense of

power and control.

Offer only real
possibilities.
Can help reduce temper
tantrums.
Works for: 2 and up.

Natural & Logical Consequences

Things that naturally happen without parental

interference.
Logical: 4 rules to follow

Related to misbehavior
Not done in anger
Short duration
Unpleasant

Works for:older children

ages 7 - 18

Write a natural and logical

consequence for each misbehavior.

2 children fight over whose turn it is to play

video games.
A child is not ready for school on time.
A child does not come home on time from a
friends house for dinner.

Make sure the message of LOVE

always gets through:

CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE:

1. Have rules and remind

them often
2. KEEP RULES SHORT &
SIMPLE
1. Be nice to teacher and
classmates
2. Raise hand to speak
3. Walk in halls

DISCIPLINE STEPS:
1. Redirect
2. Check it out
3. Speak to the child about the problem
4. Give choices
5. Use logical or natural consequences
6. Use time out if still out of control

CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE
contd
Sometimes it helps to whisper to the child
Resist giving attention to the disruptor
Someone is disturbing the class
Move closer, place hand on shoulder
Involve them
Talk privately
What can I do to get your help?

FORBIDDEN DISCIPLINE
ACTIONS:
SPANKING
NO TEASING
SLAPPING

NO HUMILIATION

HITTING

NO INSULTS

SHAKING

NO THREATENING

PULLING

NO FRIGHTENING

PINCHING

NO LAUGHING AT

Confirmed incidents will be grounds for immediate

dismissal from a childcare job.

ALWAYS REMEMBER:
MISTAKES R WUNDERFULL

OPPERTUNITEEZ 2 LERN!
Recognize your mistake
Reconcile Im sorry
Resolve: Focus on solutions rather
than blame.

Appropriate Behavior Child Care

Management Techniques
(as found in the state test guide)
If one area of the classroom creates physical

aggression try changing the room arrangement

Locate a child with a short attention span next to the
teacher
Invite and gently take the childs hand and walk when
a child will not come out of an area
Give children the opportunity to make limited choices
Give positive reinforcement when a child tells the
truth

 Explain/how to use toys appropriately and redirect

with appropriate items

Call attention to a child that is participating correctly
Give a time limit when they need to change when a
child doesnt want to take turns
Put away the distracting influence and involve
him/her in helping with the activity when a child does
not seem to be paying attention
Minimize blame, have child clean up, assist as
needed when children not cleaning up

MORE REMINDERS:
Cleaning up can be made into a game encourages a good attitude

toward work by having the children help

Remind them of rules and encourage problem solving when children
are arguing
Giving a few minutes warning helps children get ready to come inside
Tell them to use their inside voices (positive statement) when a child
is squealing, yelling shouting
Try using a positive statement to correct disruptive behavior (i.e. tell
the child you shared something now you need to listen)
Have child who has distracting toys put them away
Stop and ask all the children to return to their places; children ease
their way from their places

 Acknowledge and bring them back t the activity when a

child interrupts with personal stories, etc.

Calmly keep the child from running away, hold him/her if
the child runs away from you
Tell child you will listen to her when she can talk in a
calm voice if they are whining, crying, etc.
Remove the child from the environment if the child is
aggressive, fighting, etc.
Ignore temper tantrums if the behavior is for attention
and no one is in danger of harm
Explain that tantrums are not acceptable

ASSIGNMENT:
Complete the positive guidance practice

sheet about ANNIE AND THE TERRIBLE,

NO GOOD, VERY BAD WEEK.

THE END