How to write an

effective college
essay

Jill Carrio

Strong and
Effective
Introductions

Essential Question: What makes an effective

introduction to an essay?
Objective: Students will be able to write an effective
introduction to their definition essays

The Purpose of an
Introduction:

Think of your essay as a movie preview. What is the first thing that engages
the audience? The movie title, so make sure your title is engaging.
The next thing that engages the audience is the preview of the movie.
Producers usually put in the summary of the movie and the most exciting
parts to engage the viewer and to draw them in, same thing as your hook and
background information. Think of your essay as a hot new movie release.
You have heard about this movie through hearsay, but you want to find out
more about the rave and excitement people are saying. What do you do?
You look for a preview of the movie? Correct! This new movie release is the
same as your essay. Therefore, you need to give your audience a preview of
what they should expect in your essay. Think of your introduction as a short
dynamic representation (sneak peak) of what is to come in the body of your
essay.

What should your

introduction do?

Title: your title should indicate the topic of your paper. Make your title
interesting, the same way producers make the title to a movie engaging.
Hook: To begin your essay, you will need a hook to your essay. Think of a
hook like the cover to a book. Thus, we tend to read books based on the
cover of a book; therefore your hook should catch the readers attention.
You need to first engage your readers with an attention grabber. Same as a
movie preview, they usually show you something intriguing, funny, or add
dramatic effects, in order for you to watch that movie. Think about it, when
you watch a preview for a movie, how do you decide whether you will watch
it or not? I know, I decide on movies based on whether it seems interesting or
caught my ATTENTION. Movie goers want to convince you to watch that
movie; well you want to convince your readers that your paper is worth
reading. Think of the reasons why you stopped watching a particular movie,
mainly because it was boring, correct? Thus, you do the same in writing.

ATTENTION GRABBING
TECHNIQUES: AKA THE HOOK

Begin with a quote or proverb: Make sure the

quote relates to your essay.
Begin with an anecdote or very brief story:
Begin with a startling or interesting fact:
Begin with an analogy to something else:
Begin with posing a question:
Use imagery
Use a definition
Start with an assertion (strong statement)

Startling
Statement

Good and evil theme

All human beings are capable of the most
gruesome crimes imaginable. It is only because
of the customs and controls of civilization that
we do not become brute savages.

Quote from
Literature

Utopia theme

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure. It is our light, not our darkness, which
most frightens us. Nelson Mandela

Start with a
question?

How would you feel if you found out that the

murderer of the person you loved most in the
world was about to be set free after only two
years in prison?

Shocking Statistic

On a recent anonymous survey, over ninety

percent of high school males admitted to
secretly enjoying the music of 'N Sync and to
practicing their "hot dance moves."

Anecdote/Scenario

A close friend of mine was in the Vietnam War

and he admitted to me that he was terrified
every time he had to go into battle. Even so, I
consider him one of the most courageous men
I have ever known. It is not the absence of
fear that defines courage, but the ability of
one to force oneself to take action in spite of
fear.

Analogy

The models that grace the pages of

magazines seem to be better than anyone we
have ever met: they seem elegant,
untouchable, and perfect. But, just as
magazine covers are manipulated to hide
imperfections, we, too, sometimes fool
ourselves into ignoring the flaws of individuals
whom we have built up to be perfect beings.

After you chose your

attention grabber, you
need BACKGROUND
information

When you pick up a DVD or Google information for a movie, what is the
first thing you do? You read a summary of what the movie will be about,
to determine if you are interested or not. Same as background
information, you want to provide a summary for your readers, in order for
them to understand essential information that is in your essay and to
define any key terms they otherwise would not understand.
Hint: always assume that your readers have no idea what you are
talking about; you need to always explain in details.
For your background knowledge, try to answer the journalistic questions
of who, what, where, when, why, and how. Additionally, define key terms
the reader may not be familiar with

THESIS
STATEMENTS:

There are three objectives of a thesis

statement:
1. It tells the reader the specific topic of your
essay.
2. It imposes manageable limits on that topic.
3. It suggests the organization of your paper.
A thesis statement is the main point of an
essay. Think of it as a road map, it explains
what your essay will be about and your
position on the subject.

First, identify the topic: Your abstract concept:

integrity

After you have your subject, make an assertion (take a

position) express your viewpoint.
Example:
Success (subject) is the accomplishment or an aim or
purpose.(Assertion) Therefore, success is gained through
determination, dedication, and ones efforts.(Reasons)
Now, that you have the skills and techniques to write an
effective introduction, start to write your introduction.
Write your introduction in class on a separate sheet of
paper, I will collect your introductions the next class
meeting.

Lecture: Topic
Sentences

A topic sentence, as the name suggests,

announces to the reader a particular topic, a new
point which you are now going to present.
In framing a good topic sentence, you should strive
to answer the questions: What exactly am I arguing
in this paragraph?
ATTENTION: Each paragraph should have ONE
topic to argue. In addition, your paragraphs should
not consist of all quotes. The majority of your
paragraphs should be your interpretation; quotes
should only advance your point.

Write your
paragraphs
like
this

Topic sentence should not be a fact, quote, or a statistic. Your topic

sentence should be arguable and opinionated.
Your next sentenced your elaborate, explain, and give details on your topic
sentence.
Not all paragraphs, but the ones you integrate a quote into. This is where
you will introduce your quote.
Your quote
Explain your quote. Do not end your paragraphs with a quote and DO NOT
just add one sentence. Your commentary should be three plus sentences.
Explain the context of the quote, what is it referring to? Who said it? Why
is it important?
What would the reader gain from the quote? What is its impact or
significance? What is the message behind the quote? What would one
learn, think, and understand about the quote? What is the central concern
of that quote?
How does the quotation fit the meaning of the entire work?
Remember to USE transitions in your writing.

Integrating Quotes
into Your Essay

Essential Question: How do you integrate

quotes effectively into your writing?
Objective: You will be able to properly frame
quotations to support your own ideas and add
to your argument or thesis.

Often times students place quotes into their essays just because
they are required to have a certain amount of sources. In this
activity, you will be able to choose an important quote from your
article, analyze and explain your quote.

The quote must relate to what you are saying and it must support
your point
A quotation shows the reader that you are engaged in a conversation
with the text
Quotations support your claims and lend authority(ethos) to your
essay
Avoid using This quote proves that or This quote shows that
Remember that your paper should be 80% yours and only 1020% quotations, refrain from using more than four sentences
for your quotes.
Do not start your paragraph with a quotation or end with a
quotation

Sandwich Paragraph

Top Breadthe introduction of the quotation. This

includes the authors introductory sentence such as
In his article, The Importance of Writing Badly,
Bruce Ballenger described his take on the
beginnings of the writing process. As well as the
quotation introduction, which could follow a
number of templates like the following:
The Meat & Veggiesthe actual quotation being
used.
Bottom Breaduse the template above (the
questions)

Quote Sandwich
Example
Paragraph:

Not every single piece of writing may be perfect or have a purpose or

function. However, sometimes those pieces may lead to a bigger, better
piece of writing. Author Bruce Ballenger, from Times Magazine, asserted in
his essay, The Importance of Writing Badly, Ballenger claimed that giving
myself permission to write badly makes it much more likely that I will write
what I dont expect to write, and that from those surprises will come some of
my best writing (Ballenger 1). It usually takes me at least a couple of rough
drafts before I feel comfortable and confident in my writing. I write badly
in rough drafts because I do not pay close attention to conventions or
sentence structure. I just try to get the main ideas and the beginning of a
body written down in a rough draft. Then I go back and revise the rough
drafts to polish off the writing. All of those rough drafts add together to
make one final, hopefully good piece of writing.
Source: Graff, Gerald, and Cathy Birkenstein. They Say / I Say: The Moves that
Matter in Academic Writing. New York, New York: W.W. Norton & Company,
2006.

Long Quotations: (try to refrain from longer quotes. YOU

CAN ONLY USE ONE PER ESSAY! And the quote should be
no longer than 8 lines!

Place quotations longer than four typed lines in a free-standing block of typewritten
lines, and omit quotation marks. Start the quotation on a new line, indented one inch
from the left margin, and maintain double-spacing. Your parenthetical citation should
come after the closing punctuation mark.
Examples:
Ralph and the other boys finally realize the horror of their actions: (end of your
sentence)
The tears began to flow and sobs shook him. He gave himself up to them now for the
first time on the island; great shuddering spasms of grief that seemed to wrench his
whole body. His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the
island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob
too. (Golding 186)
Yes, the period on a block quotation the period is at the end of the
sentence, just to confuse people

Signal Phrase:

Name the author, their credentials, and organization they are associated with
Use a verb to describe what they are doing (argued, stated, claimed, asserted,
illustrated, explained, etc.) Stay in past tense.
Example:
Jane Cruz, a psychologist from the University of New York stated, The only person to
suffer from (1).
Notice that I mentioned the author in the beginning of the sentence, so I only had to
mention the page number at the end (in text citation).
If I do not mention the author at the beginning, I have to mention the author at the
end.
Example: Author and known psychologist from the University of New York stated, The
only..(Cruz, 16).
If you state the quote with a that instead of a verb, you do not capitalize the first
word and no comma after the word that.
Example: Author and known psychologist from the University of New York responded to
the audience that the only..(Cruz).


The quote will start
with a lower case
letter if you start in
mid-sentence

Reuben finds it
striking that on his
face is nothing at all
but the knowledge
that the goose is
his (Enger 16).


If you quote and the quote
does not grammatically fit
your essay, use brackets [
] to indicate you made a
change.
If you delete any words
from your quote, use an
ellipsis this indicated to
the reader that you did not
use the whole quote, but
just sections of the quote.

Example: Anthony
Jackson stated in his
article, Why and
How how to use
specific words to
enhance [ones]
essay (5).

Conclusions and
Grammar

Conclusion
1. Start by restating (not repeating) your thesis statement.
2. Summarize each body paragraph next in three separate
sentences.
3. Transition to your clincher.
4. End with a clincher. This is your chance to give your final plea.
Maybe predict what could happen if your position is ignored or laws
are not changed. Perhaps call for action by telling your reader what
to do next, who to call, etc. Turnaround could also be effective by
referring to the title of your essay. Whichever of these you choose,
make sure to end on a strong note so that your reader will say, I
agree with this essay, or I may not have changed my mind about
this issue based on this essay, but it was still very persuasive.

CONCLUSION: A
clincher gives closure
to your
reader.
Here are some types for an essay about the dangers of
smoking:
1. An anecdote: End by telling a story that pertains
to your main idea. Better yet, tell the ending of the
anecdote you used as your attention getter.
Example: Unfortunately my grandfather never
overcame his addiction. He got lung cancer from
smoking for so many years and died at the age of 57. I
was only three years old when he passed away. All in
all, I wish he had never smoked so that he would have
lived a longer and healthier life.


A prediction: Make an educated guess about
the future based on what you know about your
topic.
Example: In the years to come, people will be
more wise about the dangers of smoking and will
choose to not begin smoking in the first place.


A quotation: Like in an attention getter, choose a
passage from literature and list the author. Do not
use a quote to begin AND end your essay. Thats
repetitive.
A question: Ask something at the end of your essay
that will cause your reader to reflect on the ideas
you have presented.

Example: With all the shocking evidence that exists

about the dangers of smoking, why would anyone
choose to start smoking at all?

Turnaround: Make a statement that refers to the title of your essay.

Example: (If your essays title is Smoking Stinks then your clincher could be):
Smoking stinks not only because it makes a person wreak of a bad, smoky smell
but also because it is so harmful to ones health.
A recommendation: Recommend what actions or remedies should be taken on
the issue addressed in the essay.
Example: With all the evidence proving the deadly effects of smoking, the federal
government should enact laws banning smoking in any public place.
A generalization: Make a general overview/summary statement of the ideas
presented in your essay.
Example: Unlike most other bad habits, it is a certainty that smoking for an
extended amount of time will kill.

Mini Lesson on
Grammar

You must stay in past-tense for this essay.

-ed verbs:
Not past-tense: The author claim(s)
Past-tense: The author claim(ed)
No personal pronouns (except your personal reflection) No I, yous, wes)
For example: I believe the word determination means to have an inner drive to
succeed.
Avoid ending your sentences with prepositions!
DO NOT use contractions: For instance, dont becomes do not; in
academic writing this is looked at as unprofessional and lazy.
Put a comma before FANBOYS: (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so). Use a
comma after transitional phrases. For instance, therefore, for example,
thus
Do not start a sentence with a conjunction (but, and).


You must have one semicolon use in your essay: ( ; ) a
semicolon is a basically a comma that added more emphasis. It
clarifies meaning, so
Avoid this, that, and it.for instance, what is it in the above
sentence. It is a semicolon, so you would write, a semicolon
clarifies meaning.
You will have a semicolon: Use a semicolon with two
independent clauses when the first independent clause is as
equal importance to the second independent clause.
For instance: I have finished my research; now I have to write an
essay.
Use a semicolon when a transition is located in the middle of a
sentence. For instance: I love to teach writing; however, I love to
write as well.

You must have a colon: ( : ) Use a colon

between two independent clauses when the
second independent clause explains, summarizes,
or answers the first. For example: There are two
choices at this time: write or fail your essay. All
students have the same goal in Composition I: to
graduate with honors.
Use a colon before a quotation if an independent
clause is used to introduce the quote: In Oliver
Twist, Charles Dickens wrote about an orphaned
boy: Oliver! Oliver! (5). Otherwise USE A COMMA!
Charles Dickens once stated, All who(5).
Put the period on the outside!


Use quotation marks for quoted material. Use quotation
marks for Magazine article titles, Song titles, story titles, poem
titles. According to Mike James in The Story of Another
Hyphens: ( - ) combines of divides words. To form compound
words: one-third. Add a hyphen to compound modifiers
(adjectives) short-term, well-liked.
Parenthesis: ( ) use parenthesis when you use non-essential
information or explain. MCC (Middlesex Community College) is
a community college located in Lowell, MA. After the first use
you can just abbreviate other than that
Avoid abbreviations: Gov. is government org. is organization.
When you abbreviate you make your writing seem informal.


Avoid slang: That is bull-shit.
Avoid Clichs: To make ends meet (explain what you
mean).
Avoid gender bias: The policemen were ready to raid
the house on Elm Street. By saying policemen, you are
assuming all police are men. You would change policemen
to police officer. For instance, he/she, add the she.
Although to me, this is still bias because he comes before
she .
Spell out numbers you can say in less than two words.
One hundred not 100. Write out numbers you cannot say
in less than two words, and write out percentages.


Do not start a paragraphs with a quote nor
end with one, remember your essay should be
80% your work and 20 quoted material.
* * *And you should have 1 paraphrase
and 1 quote and 1 summary from your
article

Just a reminder from last

Class. You must have
these in your essay as

well.

You must have these techniques somewhere is your essay.

Dictionary Definition: The dictionary focuses on the literal
meaning(s) of a term.
Negation: Explain what your topic is not. Example, determination
is not being lazy.
Process: Explain the process of your topic from beginning to end.
For instance, determination starts with having a goal, then
achieving that goal to the end result of exhibiting determination.
Comparison and contrast: What is similar to your word and
what is different?
Cause and effect: What are the causes and effects? What was
the original cause of your word? Causes lead to specific results.


Associations: What associations does your word bring to mind? What
association does your word have culturally? Traditions?
Synonyms: What synonyms are associated with your word?
Etymology: Origin of your word, what is the root word and its history? Go to
Google, type in etymology dictionary by Douglas Harper and find your word. In
text citation should look similar to this: According to Douglas Harper her stated
the origins of the word ? come from (your paraphrase here)(1). Refrain from
copying and pasting the whole text, this will make you seem lazy and your
paper unprofessional.
Personal reflection: Cut and copy your text from the first assignment.
Connotation: Example: Mother =love, the underlining meaning of your word
You will have one paraphrase, one quote, and one summary in your essay
(from your previous assignment)


Next class we will have a peer-edit
workshop.
If you are not present in class or do not have
your printed rough draft, you will not
receive peer-edit points. There are four peeredits this semester, each peer-edit is worth 25
points. It total to equal one essay grade and
it adds up at the end!
Homework: Work on your Essays!