Building Rapport

The key to good communication

J. O'Connor & A. Lages
Adapted by M. Doe

What is Rapport?
Rapport is a relationship of mutual respect,
responsiveness and influence
It is an ongoing process
Its an honest attempt to understand another
person from their world
A willingness to be open it is not agreement
It is possible to have good rapport and
strongly disagree

Respect Values and Beliefs

In order to build rapport you need to have
respect for the clients beliefs and values ~
you do not have to agree with them
Its a willingness to see events from their
perspective
The person is the embodiment of their
beliefs and values ~ we all are

Matching Behaviour
How do you show your respect and
willingness to understand?
People like people who are like them
We all have a natural ability/skill to match
people
We do this all the time in our work
settings, home and socially

Matching Behaviour
Think of situations you are in on a regular basis
Notice similar body movement and gestures
when you get on well
You are likely to have similar beliefs and values
It is entirely possible to match someone where
you do not have similar beliefs

Voice Tone
People who have a good relationship tend
to speak at much the same speed and
volume
The rate of speech and the latency
(pauses) will even out
People in close rapport will even be
breathing at the same rate

Behavioural level
This rapport is on the level of behaviour
It must come from a sincere desire to enter
and understand the other persons model or
map of the world
It is easy, powerful and you do this all the time
You may notice that you already do this and
already have the ability to build good rapport
with clients

Pay Attention

Notice their posture, gestures

Do not copy!!!!!
Mirror what they do if they are sitting forward in a
chair you do the same, try to match the tone of their
voice (unless they are angry!!)
Matching body posture, gesture and tone and speed
of voice when disagreeing or challenging will maintain
rapport
Clients often comment on feeling heard and respected

Successful Assessments
Imagine being that person ~ this does not
compromise your beliefs and values but helps
to understand their world
Be open to seeing things from their perspective
Use your natural skills and abilities
Giving challenging feedback is entirely possible
with-out conflict

Rapport
Rapport is a relationship of trust and
mutual influence
At the heart of managing people well
People are the key assets of an
organisation or relationship
Agreement does not guarantee rapport
Having Rapport builds good relationships

Perceptual Positions
There are three in NLP
First Position ~ yours
Second Position ~ other persons
Third Position ~ both

Perceptual Positions
The art of seeing events through the eyes
of others
the way I see it
If I were you I would
taking into account both views it seems
like this'