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unit 8
Role play
2] Aggressive complainant
3] passive aggressive
4] Assertive complainant
Plot
Scene 1:
the nonassertive complainant approaches
him
Scene 2:
the aggressive complainant approaches
him
Scene 3:
The passive aggressive
Scene 4:
the assertive complainant approaches
him
Role play
1] Nonassertive
Nonassertive/ passive
complainant walks slowly and
hesitantly to the counter. His eyes
are downcast at the floor. He
speaks just above a whisper. His
face looks as if it belongs on the
cover of a book. He has a tight
grip on the book. And a please
dont hurt me posture.
2] Aggressive
Aggressive
complainant
swaggers toward the counter,
glares at mike, addresses him in
a voice heard all over the store.
The posture and fist-like
gestures are an obvious attempt
to intimidate the clerk.
3] Passive aggressive
Incongruence
Words
are passive
Actions are aggressive
We stare and roll our eyes but deny
that anything is wrong.
4] Assertive
The
[ Mikails role]
The nonassertive, self defeating style say to
mikail that is customer is a pushover, and
the slightest resistance will cause him to
give up and go away.
Eye contact
Body posture
Distance or physical contact
Gestures
Facial expressions
Voice tone, inflection, volume
Fluency
Timing
Listening
Thoughts
Content
1] Eye contact:
There are cultural differences however,
A relaxed steady gaze looking away
occasionally as is comfortable. The gaze
should neither be shifty nor an intense
stare. The gaze should show an
interest in and a respect for the other
person.
2] Body posture:
Some people will talk by only turning
their head towards the other person
and keeping their torso facing away. .
But the torso turned slightly towards
the other person makes the
conversation more personal. An active
and erect posture while facing the
person directly lends assertiveness.
4] Gestures:
A relaxed use of gestures can add
depth or power to your message
by emphasizing warmth, and
openness. Uninhibited
movement also suggests
openness, spontaneity and
confidence. [Unless the gestures
are erratic and nervous]
5] Facial expressions:
Voice
3 Volume: [ do you try to gain
attention with a whisper of try to
over power people with loudness,
or is it very difficult for you to
shout even when you want to?
If you can control and use your
voice effectively, you have
acquired a powerful tool in your
self expression.
7] Fluency:
Clear and slow comments are
more easily understood than rapid
speech which is erratic and filled
with long pauses or stammering.
A speech interrupted by long
pauses shows hesitation and is
boring.
Notice pauses of three seconds or
more.. or fillers such as uuhh..
you know you see
8] Timing:
In
general we advocate
spontaneity as a goal.
Sometimes the ideal moment has
passed yet it is still worthwhile
to express your feelings later on.
Yet
9] Listening:
Assertiveness
includes respect
for the rights and feelings of
others. That means assertive
receiving .. sensitivity to others
as well as assertive sending
10] Thoughts:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
11- Content:
Express
your feelings
Use I language not you
Saying no or taking stands:
State your position: I feel..
Explain your reasons: because/
when.
Express understanding.. I see
how you feel
I want.. I need you to..
Content .. Continued
Asking favours and asserting
rights:
State the problem
Make a request
Get a clarification
Finally express feelings in words
Syntonics
Create
rapport by sensory
matching
by listening to the words the other
is using.
I see what you mean.. a visual
person
I hear what you are saying..
reflects an auditory person..
Tactile: I feel for you.
so match your words to align with
the other persons thinking.
What
Homework
: Evaluate yourself
on a scale of 0 to 10 on each of
the components.
Thank you .