Second Stage- Personalizing

Gagan Jindal (H13078)

Story so far
First stage was responding
We have correctly understood where the counsellee
is in her world; she has validated our summary
response
Personalization
With verbal and non verbal data that we have
gathered we are able to understand the role she
plays in the formation of her problem
Personalization is to be able to bring the counsellee
to accept it constructively
Example
things do not go well at home because my wife
does not understand me- a husband says
In interpersonal relationships the blame cannot be
put on one side
Some portion of blame rests on either side
Growth begins when blaming ends
To make counsellee aware of the part they are
playing in the problem
It acts as a motivation to change
Personalizing the problem and the goal
It allows the counsellor to make the counsellee
aware and to assume responsibility for what she is
doing and to change the problem into a goal
Counsellees contribution to the problem must be
expressed in concrete behavioral terms for it to be
effective
Goal is opposite of the problem and it channels the
counsellees energy into something positive and
constructive
Example
Joes problem is that he cannot control the temper,
the goal is to control the temper
Contd.
Another purpose behind personalizing the problem is
to make the counsellee realize quite clearly where
she is with respect to where she wants or needs to
be in her world
The skill-sets of personalizing the problem and the
goal together are
Ask the counsellee: what are you doing or not doing that
is contributing to your problem?
Ask yourself the same question
Use the format, you feelbecause you cannotand you
want to
Explaining the skill sets
First is to stimulate the counsellee to use her
resources and contribute towards the personalization
of her problem. Counselling is about actualizing
human potential
Were the counsellor to personlize the problem all by
himself the counsellee would passively receive it
Another reason why the question is put is to prepare
the counsellee to receive constructively the
personalization of the problem
Use the sentences like: Yes, what you say seems
correct. Maybe we could put it this way:
Example
Counsellee- I feel confused because I cannot be a
good mother to my son
Counsellor on finding it too vague can rephrase it
too: Yes, what you say seems correct. Maybe we
could put it this way: you feel confused because you
cannot strike a balance between leniency and
strictness in bringing up your son
All it does is to spell out in a more tangible way
If the counsellee rejects what appears to be the true
personalization of the problem then the cousellor has
to go back to the responding stage
Why personalize
First of all its a very empathic response
Counsellee at this stage wants to do something to
remedy the situation; personalization encourages the
consellee to take up the next step
Secondly it channels the counsellees psychic
energy into something positive
To prepare her for the next stage
Third stage

It is Initiation where the goals are stated clearly
and the further steps are developed
Suggestions for personalizing
Understand counsellees value system ie what is
important to her
Compare the counsellees functioning in the
problematic are with people functioning effectively in
the same area
Undersatnd what exactly prevents the counsellee
from functioning well
Be as specific as possible in labeling the problem

Summarizing
Handling Control- By personalizing, the counsellor is
not assessing the blame or fault; rather he is
handling control and power over to the counsellee
Counsellee does not know how to change the
situation Counsellor makes her aware of personal
deficiency Counsellee concretely accepts it
Realizing this, she acquires power to control the
situation
Personalizing Strengths- Dealing with students,
Children and trainees youll have to persoanlize
strengths in order to stimulate growth
Thank You