Writing Academic Essays:

The Third Step in Essay Writing

English Skills for Academic Studies

John Langan
(pp 185-212)
Common Methods of
Organization
1: time
order
2: emphatic order
 Time Order
(chronological order)
Details are listed as they
occur in time. First this is
done; next this; then this;
after that, this; and so on.
E.g.: To exercise successfully, you should follow a
simple plan consisting of arranging the time,
making preparations, and warming up properly.
 Time Order
Example from page 186
E.g.: To exercise successfully, you should follow
a simple plan consisting of arranging the time,
making preparations, and warming up properly.
1. To begin with, set aside a regular hour.
2. Next, prepare for your exercise session.
3. Finally, do a series of warm up activities.

Which words show the time

order?
 Emphatic Order
(“saving the best for last”)
Emphasis is placed on the
most important detail by
positioning it near the end
of a paragraph or an essay.
E.g.: Thesis: Celebrities lead very stressful lives.
Last detail supporting thesis: Most important,
celebrities must deal with the stress of being in
constant danger.
 Emphatic Order
Example from page 188
Most important, celebrities must deal with the stress
of being in constant danger. The friendly grabs, hugs
and kisses of enthusiastic fans can quickly turn into
uncontrolled assaults on a celebrity’s hair, clothes,
and car. Celebrities often gets strange letters from
people who become obsessed with their idols or from
people who threaten to harm them. Worst of all,
threats can turn into deeds. The attempt to kill
Ronald Reagan and the murder of John Lennon…
Which words signal the most
emphatic detail?
 Transitions

Transitions signal the

direction of a writer’s
thought. They are like
road signs that guide
travelers.
E.g.: After you’ve snagged the job of TV sports
reporter, you have to begin working on the
details of your image. First, invest in two or
three loud sports jackets [. . .].
 Common Transitions
1. Additional signals
2. Time signals
3. Space signals
4. Change-of-direction
signals
5. Illustration signals 89
g e 1
6. Conclusion signals P a
 Transitional Sentences
Transitional, or linking,
sentences are used
between paragraphs to help
tie them smoothly together.
E.g.: Many of the other patrons are even more of a
problem than the concession stand.

(Concession stand reminds us of the

previous supporting paragraph, while Many
of the other patrons introduces the point to
Other Connecting Words

•Repeated
Words
•Pronouns
•Synonyms
 Repeated Words
Repeating key words
helps tie together the
flow of thoughts in a
paper.
E.g.: One reason for studying psychology is
[. . .]. Psychology is also useful in [. . .].
 Pronouns
Pronouns (he, she, it,
you, they, this, that, and
others) connect ideas
and help you avoid
needless
E.g.: repetition.
Another way for people to
economize at an amusement park is to
bring their own food. If they pack a
lunch, they will avoid high prices.
 Synonyms
Synonyms are words
that are alike in meaning,
like pretty and attractive.
They can be used to help
writing flow. (They also add
variety and interest to your
E.g.: There are several methods of fund-raising
sentences.)
[. . .]. One technique is to hold an auction [. . .].
Introductions, Conclusions &
Titles
A well developed
introduction, conclusion,
and title can also help
organize and connect
your essay.
 Introductory Paragraph
The introduction to an
essay serves several
functions:
•It attracts the reader’s
interest.
•It supplies background
information.
 Common Methods of
Introduction
1. Begin with a general statement
of your topic.
2. Start with an idea or a
situation that is the opposite of
the one you will develop.
3. Explain the importance of the
topic to your reader.
4. Use an incident or a brief
story. 6 -198
19
5. Ask one or more questions.
Pa g e
 Common Methods of
Conclusion
1.: End with a summary
and a final thought.
2. Include a thought-
provoking question.
3. End with a prediction
0 1
or recommendation. 199-2
a g e
P
 Titles
Titles are brief
summaries of what your
paper is about.
E.g. How to Complain
Student Zombies

Note: You should not underline or put

“quotation marks” around the title,
but you should CAPITALIZE all words
(except the small small connecting
The Four Bases for Revising
Essays

English Skills for Academic Studies

John Langan
(pp 263-290)
 Use the Four Bases
Use the four bases to
evaluate and revise your
papers:
1) UNITY
2) SUPPORT
3) COHERENCE
4) SENTENCE SKILLS
 Use the Four Bases

1) UNITY

Advance a single point and

stick to it.
 Unity
Does the paragraph stick to a single point? Does it have unity?

1
Filling up the Hong Kong harbour will give us more land which
can be put to constructive use. 2We will have the space to build
a well-planned, systematic network of roads which can solve the
Hong Kong-Kowloon traffic jam problem. 3We can build, in the
heart of our city, a huge new park for every citizen to enjoy.
4
This new park can be called the Central Park of Hong Kong. 5We
will also be able to create enough land for residential,
commercial and institutional uses in urban areas.
 Unity
Does the paragraph stick to a single point? Does it have unity?

Revised: The main

1
point
Filling up the Hong Kong harbour will give us more land
which can be put to constructive use.
2
We will have the space to build a well-planned, systematic
network of roads which can solve the Hong Kong-Kowloon
traffic jam problem.
3
We can build, in the heart of our city, a huge new park for
every citizen to enjoy.
4
This new park can be called the Central Park of Hong Kong.
5
We will also be able to create enough land for residential,
commercial and institutional uses in urban areas.

Sentence 4 does not support the main point.

 Use the Four Bases

2) SUPPORT

Support your point with

specific evidence.
 Support
Does this paragraph offer specific evidence to support the topic
sentence?

1
The dinner was a disaster. 2The service of the
restaurant was one the poorest I have ever
experienced in my life. 3The food was terrible,
so were the drinks. 4In addition, the place was
crowded and noisy, with people all around me
constantly causing all sorts of nuisances.
5
Worst of all, the hygienic condition of the
place left much to be desired.
 Support
Does this paragraph offer specific evidence to support the
topic sentence?
Revised:
1
The dinner was a disaster. 2To begin with, I had to wait for 40 minutes
before the waiter brought my fillet of salmon — when he did, he dumped the
dish on my table, causing half of the lemon sauce to spill over. 3And so
overdone was the fillet that I thought I was chewing pulp. 3a As for the beer, it
was served at room temperature, as if it had never been put into a fridge.
4
What’s more, I could not sit still because other patrons kept bumping into
the back of my chair every few minutes. 5Worst of all, on my way to the
washroom, I passed by the kitchen where I saw a rat the size of a kitten.
 Use the Four Bases

3) COHERENCE

Organize and connect the

specific evidence.
 Coherence
Does this paragraph have coherence? Do the ideas connect well
and flow smoothly?

1
The Hong Kong economy is evidently
recovering. 2The number of transactions in the
property market has increased by 30% this
month. 3The number of tourists visiting Hong
Kong has increased by 50% this month. 4The
unemployment rate has gone down by 15%.
5
There is a feel-good factor in the air.
 Coherence
Does this paragraph have coherence? Do the ideas
connect well and flow smoothly?

Revised:
1
The Hong Kong economy is evidently recovering. 2For example,
the number of transactions in the property market has increased by
30% this month while the number of tourists visiting Hong Kong has
increased by 50%. 4Furthermore, the unemployment rate has gone
down by 15%. 5These positive factors help to create a feel-good
factor in the air.

Transitions improve the connection and flow of ideas.

 Use the Four Bases

4) SENTENCE SKILLS

Write clear, error-free

sentences.
 Use the Four Bases
Homework

Revising Essays for All Four Bases

Essay 2
The Hazards of Being an Only Child
pp. 289-290
 Writing Academic Essays
The Fourth Step in Essay Writing

English Skills for Academic Studies

John Langan
(pp 229-262)
 Step 4
Revise and Edit Your Work
Strategies for revising
• sentences:
Use a consistent point of view.
• Use specific words.
• Use active verbs.
• Use concise words.
• Use parallelism.
• Vary your sentences.
 Use a Consistent Point of View
Verbs
Do not shift verb tenses
unnecessarily.
Ex.: On a TV commercial for kitchen
knives, an actor cuts a tree branch into
half, and sliced an aluminum can into
half. slices
 Use a Consistent Point of
View Pronouns
Do not shift point of view
unnecessarily.
Ex.: One of the fringe benefits of
my job is that you I can use a
company credit card for gasoline.
 Use Specific Words
To be an effective writer, you
must use specific words
rather than general
words.
General: The dog ran down the street.
Specific: The mangy stray loped down
Nathan Road, dodging cars and startling
pedestrians.
 Specific Sentences
1: Use exact names. (Not “the boy,” but
“Vince.”)
2: Use lively verbs. (Not “ate,” but
“slurped.”)
3: Use descriptive words. (Not “the
car,” but “the rickety old Honda.”)
4: Use sense descriptions. (“Vince
slurped his ice-cold chocolate milkshake while
sitting on the squeaking front seat of his rickety
old Honda.”)
 Use Active Verbs
Prefer the active voice.
When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the
passive voice.
The patient was looked after by Jane.
When the subject of a sentence performs the action of the
verb, the verb is in the active voice.
Jane looked after the patient.
 Use Concise Words
Prefer concision.
Wordiness -- using more words than necessary
-- is often a sign of lazy or careless writing.
In this paper, I am planning to describe the
hobby that I enjoy of collecting old comic
books.
Revision: I enjoy collecting old comic books.
 Use Parallelism
By balancing the items in a sentence,
you will make the sentence clearer
and easier to read.
Ex.: My job includes checking
inventory, initialing orders, and
to call the suppliers. calling
 Vary Your
Sentences
Effective writing is writing that
is varied and interesting.
Vary your sentences by:
1: Adding a second complete thought.
2: Adding a dependent thought.
3: Beginning with an opening word or
phrase.
4: Placing adjectives or verbs in a series.
 Adding a Second Complete
Thought
Transform simple sentences (which
can be monotonous) --
Greg worked on the engine. The car
still wouldn’t start.
into compound sentences:
sentences
Greg worked on the engine, but the
car still wouldn’t start.
 Adding a Dependent Thought

Transform simple sentences (which

can be monotonous) --
The library was very quiet. I
couldn’t concentrate.
into complex sentences:
sentences
Although the library was very quiet, I
couldn’t concentrate.
 Beginning with an
Opening Word or Phrase
...transforms simple sentences
(which can be monotonous) --
Paul was concerned about his daughter’s
fever. Paul called a doctor.
into varied sentences:
sentences
Concerned about his daughter’s fever,
Paul called a doctor.
 Placing
Adjectives or Verbs in a Series
...transforms simple sentences (which
can be monotonous) --
The truck bounced off a guardrail. It
sideswiped a tree. It plunged into the
ditch.
into varied sentences:
sentences
The truck bounced off a guardrail,
sideswiped a tree, and plunged into the
ditch.
 Editing Sentences

After revising, check for mistakes in

grammar, punctuation, mechanics,
usage, and spelling. (See pp. 248-249.)

Edit according to the conventions of

written English, aka sentence
skills.
 Proofreading

Check the edited draft of

your paper for typos and
other other careless
errors.
 Hints on
Editing & Proofreading
1. Have a dictionary and a grammar book
at hand.
2. Read backward,
backward from the last
sentence to the first - one at a time.
3. Pay special attention to the kinds of
mistake you tend to make.
4. Ask a friend to read it after you have
done your part.
 Group Discussions

Adapted from: Wallace, Michael J. Study Skills in English. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2001.
 Why Group
Discussions?
Learn how to focus on a topic and arrive at a
consensus in a group situation.
Force you to think critically and learn from
each other actively.
Practice how to interact with others and
express your opinion constructively.
Improve your English speaking
and listening skills.
 Seminar/Discussion Skills I
Objectives
To learn how to introduce a presentation/start a discussion
•
To learn to handle questions in an appropriate manner
•
To practise raising questions and giving comments
•
To practise active listening and effective note-taking skills
•
To reflect on proper behaviour in group discussions
•
 Activity 1
• Watch the following short clips and find out how the
speakers introduce a presentation/ start a seminar
discussion.
– Clip 1: Giving a Presentation
http://www.llas.ac.uk/resources/mb/2722
– Clip 2: The Challenges of Creating a World-Class City in
Hong Kong
http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/Subjects/ELC2204/
Things to do to introduce your
presentation/start a discussion
• Greet your audience
• Introduce yourself/your team members
• State clearly the purpose/focus of your
presentation/seminar discussion
• Explain the structure of your
presentation/seminar discussion
 Activity 2
Work in groups of 4:
1) Watch the rest of the clip “The Challenges
of Creating a World-Class City in Hong
Kong”. Jot down the main point/ argument
put forward by the participants.
http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/Subjects/ELC2204/
2) Be ready to share the notes your group has
taken with the class.
3) Try to come up with as many questions/
comments as possible based on those
arguments made.
 Activity 3
Work in pairs:
• Watch a clip (version 1) about how a speaker
handles a question from the floor.
• Make comments based on the verbal and non-
verbal expressions the speaker uses.
• Suggest ways in which the question can be
handled more appropriately.
• Watch version 2 of the clip to see how the
speaker tackles the question properly.
http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/EAP/Audio-visual/
 Handling Questions
Dos Don’ts
Thank for the question Be arrogant/boastful
raised
Nod to show you’re Interrupt rudely when someone
listening carefully hasn’t finished the question

Keep your poise and Make irritable gestures/facial

confidence (but remain expressions
modest)
Give clear Show impatience/contempt
explanations/justificatio (even if the answer to the
ns question seems obvious)
Allow people to ask for
 Research Essay
(Project 2A)

Due on: Week 11 Lecture or Tutorial

(12 November 2009)

 Research Essay

Items to be submitted:
1. Research Essay, with Cover Page and “Works Cited”
list
2. Copy of all source articles, questionnaires and/or
surveys
3. Table 1 – “Percentage Allocation of Team Member
Contribution in Research Essay”
4. Table 2 – “Peer Review: Division of Work”
5. “Declaration of Original Work”
6. “Checklist for the Project Preparation Steps” (with draft
thesis statement and outline)
 Project Task 2B –
Oral Presentation/
Seminar

CC2040 English for Academic Studies (Health

Care)
 Project Task 2B –
Oral Presentation/ Seminar

• In this task, you and your project group

members are required to lead an
academic discussion of about 20
minutes on your essay topic in the
lecture of Week 12/13. You will be
assessed on your performance as an
individual (70%) and as a group (30%).
 I. Expected Learning
Outcomes

Listening Skills
• Take effective notes on key points and ideas suggested
by group members/ classmates in the seminar session.

Speaking Skills
• Contribute and justify your comments and respond
critically to others’ ideas in the seminar session.
• Demonstrate competent speaking skills appropriate for an
academic presentation and discussion.
 II. Topic

• The topic should be the same as that of

your research essay.
 III. Guidelines
Preparation
• Re-read your essay.
• Prepare a 5-minute presentation of your
research essay to introduce the thesis and
supporting points of your paper.
• You are expected to converse and
interact in English, so you may
prepare notes in point form only.
• Scripts are strictly prohibited. A
fail grade will be given to those who
read aloud from a script.
 III. Guidelines
Assessment Day
(1) Opening (5 minutes)
– Your group will have 1 minute to present the
background information and the topic. To facilitate
the discussion, you need to show the thesis
statement and plan of development on the screen/
white board.
– Each group member will have 1 minute to present to
the class his/her viewpoints and supporting details
for the topic.
– Every student in the class is required to prepare
comments and/ or questions.
III. Guidelines

(2) Discussion (12 minutes)

– All group members are required to
participate actively in the discussion
by taking turns:
• To invite class members to give
comments and ask questions, and
• To respond to comments given by class
members and/or answer questions.
– Your group is required to coordinate
the level of participation of both
group members and class members:
• Avoid dominance by certain group
member(s) and/or class members(s), and
• Avoid dead air.
 (2) Discussion (12 minutes)

• 1 bonus mark (maximum 5) will be

given to a class member who
participates in the discussion to
express his/her meaningful opinion.
 (3) Closing (3 minutes)

(i) One member of your group has 3 minutes to give a

summary of what have been discussed as a report to
the whole class and to the lecturer. This member’s
performance will affect the group marks only.

Note: You may use the white

board/ visualiser in the
classroom to help you illustrate
your points in the
presentation/discussion/closing
.
 Time

Groups of 4 Groups of 3 Groups of 5

Opening 5 minutes 4 minutes 6 minutes

(1-minute introduction PLUS (1-minute introduction (1-minute introduction
4 x 1-minute viewpoint) PLUS PLUS
3 x 1-minute viewpoint) 5 x 1-minute viewpoint)

Discussion 12 minutes 9 minutes 15 minutes

Closing 3 minutes 3 minutes 3 minutes
TOTAL 20 minutes 16 minutes 24 minutes
IV. Grading Aspects
 I. Individual Performance (70%)
1. Interest and Clarity of Ideas (20%)
2. Level of Participation & Interaction with
Others (both verbal & non-verbal
communication) (20%)
3. Fluency of Speech/Expressions (10%)
4. Accuracy of Speech (10%)
5. Appropriateness & Variety of Language
Used for Discussion (10%)
• Clear viewpoint
• Adequate examples and details to illustrate
understanding of the topic
• Logical organization of ideas
• Active listening and appropriate response to
comments
• Clear clarification of opinions and reasoning
• Active involvement of others in the
discussion
• Positive verbal and non-verbal
communications
• Smooth and natural expression of ideas
• Appropriate pace of speech
• Correct grammar
• Clear articulation and pronunciation
• Appropriate intonation and stress
• Appropriate techniques for transition of
ideas
• Variety of expressions and questions for
facilitating a discussion
 (ii). Group Performance (30%)
1. Group/Class Interaction (10%)
2. Overall Effectiveness of the
Discussion (20%)
• Active involvement of all group members and
class members in discussion
• Logical flow of arguments
i) Opening
– Take turns to present main ideas and
supporting points clearly within the
responsible group
ii) Discussion
– Maintain the discussion on a focused topic
and task
– Pose appropriate questions to generate
further discussion
– Ensure effective involvement of class
members in discussion
iii) Closure
– Give an effective and meaningful conclusion
of main points discussed
iv) Time management
• Complete the opening, discussion and closure
within 20 minutes