PART I

GETTING TO KNOW MARRIAGE

?
WHAT IS MARRIAGE

MARRIAGE
Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. It is the foundation of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature, consequences, and incidents, are governed by law and not subject to stipulation, except that marriage settlements may fix the property relations during the marriage within the limits provided by this Code. (FCP Art. 1.)

For matrimonial consent to exist, it is necessary that the contracting parties be at least not ignorant of the fact that marriage is a permanent partnership between a man and a woman, ordered to the procreation of children through some form of sexual cooperation. (CCL Art. 1096)

MARRIAGE
The matrimonial covenant by which a man and a woman establishes between themselves a partnership of the whole life, is by its nature ordered towards the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament. (CCC 1601)

PROFOUND REALITIES OF MARRIAGE

A State

Human Secular Reality

A Divine Institution

MARRIAGE

Sacred Reality

A Human Institution

PROFOUND REALITIES OF MARRIAGE

A Social Institution

An Event

A Personal Affair

MARRIAGE

A Contract

A Covenant

IN THE FILIPINO CONTEXT

Most Filipinos today have a deeper appreciation for personal freedom and the quality of interpersonal relationship within marriage
Marriage is an affair not only of two individuals but also between two family groups

IN THE FILIPINO CONTEXT

Marriage and family then are among our highest cultural values
HOWEVER there is a growing weakening of the Filipino family and marriage today.

 RESULTS
Growing number of broken families Purely civil marriages Abortion Contraceptive mentality Church weddings are often marked by mere social display of affluence

 Where does the real problem lie?

Common overstress of romantic love Personal sexual fulfillment in marriage Secularized modern world Break down of traditional, moral, and religious values THERE IS A Gap Between church teachings on marriage and what appears to be the common practice of many Filipino Catholics

 WHAT IS NEEDED?

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION

Stages of Marriage in Human History:

Prefigured
Creation

Prepared
O.T.

Instituted
N.T.

Continued & Applied

Adam & Eve

Israelites - Moses

By Jesus

By the CHURCH

THE PROMISE

- Prophet Hosea

THE FULFILLMENT

THE CODE OF CANON LAW

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION

In the Bible are found two accounts of the Creation, one is called the Priestly account (Gen. 1:1-31) and the other is the Yahwist tradition (Gen. 2:2-25). The two complement each other and give a more detailed view of Gods work.
[Fr. Lana, OP, et al., 2004, p.9.]

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION

Sexes/ Genders

PRIESTLY ACCOUNT

Procreation

Equality Between Genders

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION

Companionship

YAHWIST ACCOUNT

Oneness/ Unitive

Complementarity

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION

Reasons behind woman being taken from the rib of man.
1. Woman was not taken from the head of man in order to show that men should not rule over the woman. 2. Woman was not taken from the hands of man in order to show that men should not use the women 3. Woman was not taken from the feet of man to show that men should not trample on women.

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION

4. Instead, woman was taken from the ribs of the man to show that they should always walk side by side in mutual support of each other.
5. Woman was also taken from the ribs of man because the ribs are closest to the heart. This therefore signifies that men should have women as the closest to their heart to love and to care for the rest of their lives.

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION

CONCLUSION: Two Purposes of Marriage in Gods Original Plan: 1. Marriage is for Procreation. (Procreative)
2. Marriage is for the union between husband and wife. (Unitive)

THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN

CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE: SOURCE: Genesis 3
1. The original communion between man, woman, the other creatures and God was destroyed. - Man & woman hid themselves from God. - Man blamed (God) the woman for the sin. - The woman in return blamed the snake.

THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN

CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE:
2. The mutual attraction between man and woman was replaced by lust. - Both of them realized that they were naked and they felt shame.

THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN

CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE:
3. The equality between man and woman was replaced with sexual hierarchy (domination of man over woman). - The woman was regarded as the cause of temptation.

THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN

CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE:

These consequences of original sin will have a lasting effect in marriage as will be found in mans history.

MARRIAGE REALIZED AMONG GODS CHOSEN PEOPLE

The ideals of marriage in Genesis were not achieved among Gods chosen people. Women were distinctly subordinated to men (second class).
Their status was not only determined by their relation to man (simply as wives, mothers, sisters). Their primary function was to bear children to continue the human generation.

Polygamous relationship was allowed.

MARRIAGE REALIZED AMONG GODS CHOSEN PEOPLE

The ideals of marriage in Genesis were not achieved among Gods chosen people. Divorce was also permitted as long as it is on the initiative of the husband. Barrenness was considered a disgrace. Men with barren wives were allowed to have a concubine as a substitute. The existence of Levirate law.

THE PROPHETIC VISION OF MARRIAGE

The prophets, particularly Hosea, envisioned the marriage between husband and wife as a covenant showing the covenant between God and His chosen people, the Israelites. (Just as God remained faithful in His love for His people, so should husbands and wives be faithful to each other.)

It is faithful. It is forgiving. It is forever.

MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N.T.

Christ came as our Redeemer. He redeemed us from the bondage of sin in all its effects. He, therefore, also redeemed marriage and gave back its original richness.

MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N.T.

MARRIAGE IN THE TEACHINGS OF CHRIST Source: John 15:12-14 1. Christ taught us the deeper meaning of love.
Implication: Christ has made the quality of his love for us as the standard of true love. That is, love calls for fidelity, unconditional surrender and forgiveness in the instance of failure.

MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N.T.

Source: John 2:1ff (The Wedding at Cana)
2. Christ taught us the goodness and the sacredness of marriage. Implication: He also confirmed the goodness of marriage by being present in that occasion. He showed that He valued marriage by doing something wonderful on that day (His first miracle).

MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N.T.

Source: Mark 10:1-12 (The Question about Divorce)

3. Christ also confirmed the UNITIVE dimension of marriage (the everlasting union between husband and wife).
Implication: Christs answer was no to divorce. Here, Jesus affirmed the original plan of God in marriage: that man and woman should be one (They are no longer two but one bodyWhat God has joined together, man must not put asunder.)

MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N.T.

Source: Matthew 19:3-11 4. The Teaching of Jesus about Celibacy Implication: Jesus provided an option, that is, celibacy for the sake of Gods kingdom.

MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N.T.

MARRIAGE IN THE TEACHINGS OF ST. PAUL Source: 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 He exalted the value of MARITAL ACT/CONJUGAL ACT by referring to it as THE RIGHT OF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE. He calls this technically as a MARITAL DEBT.

MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N.T.

MARRIAGE IN THE TEACHINGS OF ST. PAUL Source: Ephesians 5:25-27 2. He reiterated the UNITIVE aspect of marriage by linking the union between husband and wife to the love and everlasting union between Christ and His spouse, the Church. Husbands should love their wives the way Christ loves His Church.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

Contract

Celebration MARRIAGE

Covenant

Vocation

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

COMPONENTS
1. It can only be entered into by a MAN & a WOMAN.

2. It should be freely entered into by both parties (Marital/Mutual Consent).

3. Although it has been from the freedom of both spouses, they are subject to the purpose and properties of marriage as instituted by God. 4. It is irrevocable, i.e., it is indissoluble or permanent.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

ESSENTIAL PROPERTIES
1. It is lasting, forever binding and sacred, as it were, marriage is the holy alliance between MAN, WOMAN and GOD. 2. It mirrors the covenant between God and His people which have been enriched by the covenant between Christ and His Church, which is characterized by sacrifice, forgiveness, and fidelity.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

Like the vocation to the priesthood and single blessedness, marriage is also a call by God to come to a closer union with Him. HOW?
- Responsible Parenthood - By the spouses bringing each other to God - By their readiness to carry their crosses.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is a joyous celebration. And what adds colors to the celebration is the ceremony.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

The celebration of the sacraments by the Christian community is called LITURGY.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

LITURGY
In Greek, means public service. It is the public celebration of the meeting of God and his children through actions and words along with signs and symbols. Actions and words expresses the dialogue between God and the people. Signs and symbols, these perceptible realities can become means of expressing the action of God who sanctifies man and the action of man who offer worship to God.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

LITURGY
Response of faith have to accompany and make effective to the grace already given in the celebration. AS SUCH, required is a conscious, and active participation among the faithful.

SACRAMENT is a saving symbolic act or visible sign arising from the ministry of Christ and continued in, by and for the church, which when received in faith, fashions us into the likeness of Christ in His Paschal mystery through the power of the Holy Spirit.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

But it is not something the couple merely decides to do for themselves. It is the church which provides the details of the basic ritual. In fact, the church requires that the spouses-to-be submit to the standard rite which calls for a set liturgical form, otherwise their marriage would be invalid.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

Wedding celebration marks the solemn entry of the spouses into a binding commitment before God and the Christian community. It is a public declaration of their love-commitment before Christ and the Church.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. It is therefore appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the church. Marriage introduces one into an ecclesial order, and creates rights and duties in the church between spouses towards children. Since marriage is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses). The public character of the consent protects the I do once given, and helps the spouses to remain faithful to it. [CCC 1631]

The ecclesiastical form requires the groom and the bride to express freely and publicly their consent to take each other as husband and wife before the presence of a priest and deacon, and witnesses in these or similar words:

I take you as my lawful husband (or wife) according to the rites of holy Mother the Church.
I give myself to you as your lawful wife (or husband). I take you as my lawful husband (or wife).
These words however, may take the form of questions asked by the priest or deacon to which the groom and the bride normally respond with I do.

After the exchange of vows, the couple prays to the Lord together:

Grant us, O Lord, to be one heart

and one soul from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do as part.

Since they are the ones who mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of matrimony, the husband and the wife are the ministers of Christs grace. The priest or the deacon who assists the celebration receives the consent in the name of the church and gives the blessing.

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY

MATTER

MINISTERS

FORM

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY MATTER

The church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that makes marriage. If consent is lacking there is no marriage. [CCC 1626]

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY

Matrimonial consent is an act of will by which a man and a woman by an irrevocable covenant mutually give and accept one another for the purpose of establishing a marriage. [CIC 1057, 2]

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY

In marriage, the external sign is the love relationship between spouses. [CFC 1881]

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY FORM

The sacrament of matrimony consists in the mutual expression by both contracting parties of their free consent to take each other as husband and wife. The exchange of I DO is the main act in the marriage ceremony. [CIC 1057]

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY MINISTERS

The ministers of Matrimony are the contracting parties themselves, the bridegroom and the bride. The priest stands as the witness authorized by the church to be present and bless the union. Hence, the priest becomes the officiating minister who solemnizes matrimony. [CIC 1057]

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY

Bridal Procession

White Gown
Joining of hands

Rings Arrhae
SYMBOLS

Candles Veil
Cord

Other Symbols used in the Celberation

PROPERTIES OF MARRIAGE
1. Proles :: Openness to Fertility.
Biological Dimension: The capacity of the husband and the wife to procreate offspring through sexual union.
ISSUE :: How about the infertile spouses?
ANSWER: They are still open to fertility by observing the natural laws and rhythm of fertility. (Here, contraception is seen as the tampering of this natural process of fertility.)

PROPERTIES OF MARRIAGE
2. Fides :: Unity and Fidelity
Couples must unite more intimately in their relationship (self-giving_. It signifies Gods covenant which is characterized with patience, understanding, kindness and forgiveness. To open up ones heart and extend ones hand to a repentant beloved.

PROPERTIES OF MARRIAGE
3. Sacramentum :: Indissolubility and Permanence The indissolubility of marriage is possible because God willed it so: Let no one separate what God has joined.

WHO ARE AUTHORIZED TO SOLEMNIZE MARRIAGES?

1. Any incumbent member of the judiciary within the courts jurisdiction; 2. Any priest, rabbi, imam, or minister of any church or

religious sect duly authorized by his church or

religious sect and registered with the civil registrar general, acting within the limits of the written

authority granted by his church or religious sect and

provided that at least one of the contracting parties belongs to the solemnizing officers church or

religious sect;

WHO ARE AUTHORIZED TO SOLEMNIZE MARRIAGES?

3. Any ship captain or airplane chief only in the case mentioned in Article 31 of the Family Code; 4. Any military commander of a unit to which a chaplain is assigned, in the absence of the latter, during a military operation, likewise only in the cases mentioned in Article 32 of the Family Code; 5. Any consul-general, consul or vice-consul in the case provided in Article 10 of the Family Code.

WHT ARE THE ESSENTIAL REQUISITES OF MARRIAGE?

No Marriage shall be valid, unless these essential requites are present.

1. Legal capacity of the contracting

must be a male and a female; and

parties who

2. Consent freely given in the presence of the

solemnizing officer.

WHAT ARE THE FORMAL REQUISITES OF MARRIAGE?

The formal requisites of marriage are: 1. Authority of the solemnizing officer

2. A valid marriage license except in the cases where

the same is exempted; and 3. A marriage ceremony which takes place with the

appearance of contracting parties before the

solemnizing officer and their personal declaration that they take each other as husband and wife in

the presence of not less than two witnesses of

legal age.

HOW OLD MUST I BE TO GET VALIDLY MARRIED?

Any male or female of the age of eighteen years or upwards not under any of the impediments

mentioned in Articles 37 and 38, may contract

marriage.

WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING?
1. Those contracted by any party below eighteen years of age even with the consent of parents or guardians; 2. Those solemnized by any person not legally authorized to perform marriages unless such marriages were contracted with either or both parties believing in good faith that the solemnizing officer had the legal authority to do so; 3. Those solemnized without license, except those covered by the preceding Chapter; 4. Those bigamous or polygamous marriages not failing under Article 41;

WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING?
5. Those contracted through mistake of one contracting party as to the identity of the other; and 6. Those subsequent marriages that are void under Article 53.

7. A marriage contracted by any party who, at the time of celebration, was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage, shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization. 8. Between ascendants and descendants of any degree; and

WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING?
9. Between brothers and sisters, whether of the full or half blood. 10. Between collateral blood relatives whether legitimate or illegitimate, up to the fourth civil degree;. 11. Between step-parents and step-children; 12. Between parents-in-law and children-in-law; 13. Between the adopting parent and the adopted child; 14. Between the surviving spouse of the adopted child and the adopter;

WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING?
15. Between the surviving spouse of the adopted child and the adopter; 16. Between an adopted child and a legitimate child of the adopter; 17. Between adopted children of the same adopter; 18. Between parties where one, with the intention to marry the other, killed that other persons spouse, or his or her own spouse.

CHURCH LAW ON MARRIAGE

Pre-requisites for the Celebration of Marriage:
1. Catechesis and Preparation Pre-cana Seminar 2. Reception of Baptism and Confirmation The sacrament of Baptism is the door to the sacraments. 3. Pre-Nuptial Interview Commonly known as pre-marital investigation to
Verify whether the contracting parties are sufficiently instructed in the Christian doctrine especially about marriage, Determine the freedom of the parties, Verify the existence of any possible legal impediment that may render marriage invalid.

CHURCH LAW ON MARRIAGE

Pre-requisites for the Celebration of Marriage:
4. Banns Announcement either orally or in print in the parishes of the contracting parties, normally for 3 consecutive Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation before the wedding takes place..
5. Documents Baptismal (and Confirmation) Certificates of both parties Marriage License Permission to the Brides parish priest Parental consent

ESSENTIAL CHARACTERISTICS OF CHURCH LAW ON MARRIAGE THE CHURCH Mixed Marriages & Disparity of Cult:
Canonical Requirements: 1. Permission to get married by the local ordinary. 2. The declaration and promise by the Catholic party:

Catholic party will declare removal of any danger of falling away from faith; Promise to do all power to have all the children baptized and brought up on the Catholic Church. The non-Catholic party should be informed of this promise. Both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage.

3. The observance of the Canonical Form.

PART II
APPRECIATING GODS DESIGN FOR THE FAMILY

THE FAMILY IN TODAYS REALITIES

The family is a universal and basic element in society. It is the basic unit which serves as the link between the individual and society because every persons earliest and longest experience takes place within the family. Nothing else can replace the family as a center for the psycho-social development of people and as the transmitter of culture.

DIFFERENT FORMS OF PRESSURES THAT THREATEN THE STABILITY OF THE FAMILY

MATERIALISM

HEDONISM

CONSUMERISM

SECULARISM

RESPONSE OF THE CHURCH: Renewal Movement

The family and the Church play an important role in the development of the community.
The family radiates Gods love.

The family is an agent of transformation of civilization.

The family is an instrument of peace.

The family is PRO-LIFE. (The family proclaims, celebrates, serves and nurtures life.)

THE FAMILY AS A COMMUNITY OF LOVE AND LIFE

CONJUGAL ACT: The Unifying Bond between Husband and Wife
M A R K S & D E M A N D S

Fully Human

Fecund

Total

Exclusive & Faithful until Death

PROMOTING PEACE AND JUSTICE IN THE FAMILY

The family is the smallest social unit, the basic component, and fundamental to the life of the society. Likewise, the family is the first school of humanity where the parents are first and foremost educators of the child. The home prepares the individual for the more demanding relationship outside the family, for the strength of a nation is parallel to the strength of its human members. Indeed, the family is the first and the vital cell of the society.

WHAT IS COMMUNICATION?
It is a Basic Human Desire to express oneself whatever form it takes. One wants to be listened to, to be understood, to be recognized, to feel important to be in good relationship with others. If there is anything that gives man his special nature among all living things, it is his ability to communicate. He is the only living species with the power of speech.

3 STYLES OF COMMUNICATION DIALOGUE

DUOLOGUE
MONOLOGUE

TWO WAYS OF COMMUNICATION

Verbal
COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS

COMMUNICATION: As an Expression of Mans Nature 1. Communicating non-verbally
A powerful means to affirm ones spouse Ex.: gestures, postures, facial expression

2. Communicating as adults

Intellectual stimulation and newness Ex.: sharing or exchanging ideas gathered from their work/profession and interests Bringing out the child in them Ex.: playfulness, creativity, wonder, laughter, adventure

3. Communicating as children

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS

COMMUNICATION: As an Expression of Mans Nature 7. Communicating mutual & diverse interests
Source of stimulation and growth in communication

8. Communicating socially

Being-in-and-with-the-world Goes beyond the couples themselves to the world outside and brings the couples into communication with others

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS

COMMUNICATION Listening Non-verbal signals Directness Clarity

Husband-Wife Relation

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS

Importance of Communication in Marriage 1. Communication builds up and develops an authentic relationship between couples: Enables couples to express the love for each other. Helps them keep in touch & support their lives together as husband & wife. Good communication minimizes & recognizes disagreements & differences.

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS

Importance of Communication in Marriage 2. Communication is a way of creating a climate of faith, understanding and trust between couples: It is the breath of life in marriage. No marriage will survive without it. Good communication is a give and take; listening and sharing. Open and honest communication puts charity, love , trust and faith into practice.

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS

Importance of Communication in Marriage 3. Prayer as communication with God strengthens the marriage (relationship) and enables one to discern Gods will in lifes daily events. In prayer, Gods grace is also received. Communication with God in prayer is spending quality time with him personally as a family (A family that prays together, stays together.).

A PARENTS PRAYER
Lord give me wisdom
to deal with our children as you would, to see in each of them Your Holy image, To develop in them a Christ-like love of men not only a select few, to nurture in them a divine desire to put in and not simply to take out

To teach them to be go givers not go-getters

O, God in training these dear ones Whom you have entrusted to our charge-help us To encourage rather than discourage them To discipline with kindness not softness

To guide them intelligently not blindly,

To coach, not to scold, to nudge not to nag. Dear Lord, above all help-us To use common sense in regard to their future To let go gladly when the time comes. To let them lead their own lives While following them with our love,

To pray always that they will be close to you,

Not only for the few years of this life but for the endless years of the eternity.