Conflict Management & Interpersonal Behavior

Definition the struggle between incompatible or opposing needs, wishes, ideas, interests or people. Conflict arises when individuals or groups encounter goals that both parties cannot obtain satisfactorily

(Dysfunctional / Functional Conflict) Cognitive conflict refers to difference in perspectives which leads to develop better ideas Affective conflict is emotional and directed at other people. This is likely to be destructive because it leads to anger, bitterness, poor decisions

B High

Organizational Performance

Low

A Low Level of Conflict

C High

Conflict Effects

Positive (Eustress) Increased Involvement Increased Cohesion Increased Innovation & creativity Personal growth and change

Negative (Distress) Unresolved Anger Personality Clashes Low Self Esteem Inefficiency

Clarification of key issues

Organization vibrancy Individual and group identities

Diversion of energy from work

Psychological well being threatened Negative climate Group cohesion disrupted

Stages of Conflict Functional Conflict Latent Conflict Perceived Conflict Felt Conflict Manifest Conflict Dysfunctional Conflict

Model of the Conflict Resolution Process

Causes of Conflict Organization Change Personality clashes Different sets of Values Threats to status Contrasting perceptions Lack of trust Perceptions of conflict/ Constructive Destructive Participant Intentions (Felt Conflict) Winning Losing Manifest Conflict Manifest Conflict

Resolving Conflict

Conflict Management Styles Avoiding Smoothing / accommodating Forcing/ competing Compromising Confronting/ collaborating Conflict Outcomes/ increased or decreased group performance Lose lose * Win - Lose Lose win * Win Win

Ways of Handling Conflict

Collaborating Dolphin:- They use whistles and clicks to communicate with each other to catch food cooperatively and to summon help. Problem solving. We both win. "Two heads are better than one.

Competing Lion :- The lion's roar helps the lion to satisfy its interests. I take charge. "Might makes right.
Compromising Zebra :-A zebra's unique look seems to indicate that it didn't care if it was a black horse or a white horse, so it "split the difference" and We meet half-way. chose black and white stripes. "Let's split the difference. Avoiding Turtle:- because it can avoid everything by pulling its head and legs into its shell to get away from everyone. I leave. "I'd rather not deal with it now. Accommodating Chameleon because it changes its color to match the color of its Giving in. environment "I don't care that much; have it your way."

Levels of Conflict in organizational life

Intergroup Conflict Task Interdependence (Pooled, reciprocal, sequential) Task ambiguity Goal incompatibility Limited resources Reward systems, two departments, groups with different ideas, Company and the environment

Intra- group Conflict Disputes between family members, colleagues, Task Ambiguity

Interpersonal Conflict Behavioral Conflicts

Intra personal Conflict Conflict from frustration Goal conflict Role conflict

Methods of Managing Conflict Stimulating Conflict Increase competition among individual and teams Hire outside to shake things up Change established procedures

Controlling Conflict

Expand resource base Enhance coordination of interdependence Set superordinate goals ( something they cannot refuse) Match personalities and work habits of employees

Resolving and Eliminating Conflict

Avoid conflict Convince conflicting parties to compromise Bring conflicting parties together to confront and negotiate the conflict

Conflict Resolution Conflict 1. Intrapersonal Conflict Resolution Strategies Remove Barriers Remove Cognitive dissonance Minimize and prioritize roles Develop compatibility between personal and organizational goals 2. Interpersonal Conflict Use different approaches (lose and win) Developing complimentary transactions Altering behavior inputs 3. Intragroup Conflict 4. Intergroup Conflict Making them aware of their goals, responsibilities Problem Solving

Organization Redesign Clear Goals

Expansion of resources Smoothen and avoidance

Life Positions Life positions stem from a combination of two viewpoints. Based on responses we come up with four life positions

Positive
Im OK You are not OK (Paranoid- Therefore I best get rid of you to be ok) Attitude towards Self Im not OK You are not OK (Futile -Therefore there is no hope. I can never be ok nor could you give me what I need) Im not OK You are OK (DepressiveTherefore the best I can do is to get away from others or hide myself)
Im

OK You are OK (Good Life Position Therefore you and me can get on with being open with each other)

Negative Negative

Positive
Attitude towards Others

"Im OK...Youre OK" (healthy position)This is potentially a mentally healthy position. Realistic people with this position about themselves and others can solve their problems constructively. They accept the significance of people and get along well with others. They achieve independence (I can do things on my own) and interdependence - "I can choose to be part of a team and accomplish even more than what I can do on my own". "Im OK...Youre Not-OK" (projective position - Externalizers)This is the position of persons who feel victimized or persecuted, so victimizes and persecutes others. They blame others for their miseries. Ego States: A combination of angry child and Critical Parent Ego States often take this position... they may completely disown or repress their Vulnerable Child ego state early in life. Seeing the vulnerable child (perceived as weakness) in others may trigger them to act-out their contempt for that part of themselves, which in extreme cases may lead to violent behaviour including child abuse and homicide. In milder cases, this may take the form of a parent having an unreasonable resentment for his/her own kids, leaving them feeling shame and guilt because they don't know why they feel that way... It's usually the Angry/Defiant Child and/or critical parent trying to drive their own Vulnerable Child deeper into hiding (or exile). "Im Not-OK...Youre OK" (introjective position - Internalizers)This is a common position of persons who feel powerless, not good enough, or less important when they compare themselves to others. Ego States: They usually feel powerless because they have disowned or repressed their angry/ defiant child causing them to lack assertiveness and boundaries. This position leads them to withdraw, to experience depression, and in severe cases, to become suicidal. People in this position feel not good enough or less important because they internalize the voice of their Critical Parent. They turn the critical and shaming tapes of childhood in on themselves over and over again...further victimizing their already wounded vulnerable child. "Im Not-OK...Youre Not-OK" (futility position Hopeless, Helplessness, or Worthlessness)This is the position of those who lose interest in living, who exhibit eccentric behaviour, and in extreme cases, may commit suicide or homicide. This is a position that one must work themselves into. It takes time - or some very severe trauma - for things to get so bad that all defences collapse leaving this person unprotected from their pain. Ego States: Full expression of the seriously wounded Vulnerable Child, Angry/Defiant Child, and Critical Parent. When things are at their worst, it's a toss up as to whether all that pain and hostility will be pointed inward resulting in a suicide attempt...or outward resulting in a homicide/suicide attempt.

Transactional Analysis
One of the most popular ways of explaining the dynamics of interpersonal communication. Originally developed by Eric Burne, it is now a theory which encompasses personality, perception and communication. It is a State of mind.
Ego State - A consistent pattern of feeling and experience directly related to a corresponding

consistent pattern of behaviour.

Advantages of TA : Improves interpersonal communication Simple to learn Applicable in Motivation Helps in Organizational Development

TA has some underlying assumptions:1. All the events and feelings that we have ever experienced are stored within us and can be replayed, so we can re-experience the events and the feelings of all our past years. 2. Personality is made up of three ego states which are revealed in distinct ways of behaving. The ego states manifest themselves in gesture, tone of voice and action, almost as if they are different people within us. 3. And, people can change 4. we all have a right to be in the world and be accepted

Berne identified the ego states as follows:Child Ego State behavior which demonstrates the feelings we remember as a child. This state can be associated with having fun, playing, impulsiveness, rebelliousness, spontaneous behavior and emotional responses Adult Ego State behavior which concerns our thought processes and the processing of facts and information. In this state we may be objective, rational, reasonable, seeking information and receiving facts.

Parent Ego State behavior which concerns the attitudes, feelings and behavior incorporated from external sources, primarily our parents. This state refers to feelings about right and wrong and how to care for other people.
These categorise the ways we think.

Transactional Analysis

Transactional Analysis Ego States

1. Child Ego State:

An adult has a child inside. Impulses of a new born Mental recordings of your early experiences Reactions to these experiences Learned view of yourself and others

Eg Lets go for a picnic this weekend! ( Child ego state) 2. Adult Ego State: Response is analytical. Gathering information, reasoning things out Estimating probabilities Cool and collected Unemotional You just want facts Irrespective of age Eg. Pass me the file of the latest MIS. 3. Parent Ego State: Controlling/ critical Parent (CP) Nurturing Parent (NP) Response is automatic. Phrase parent tapes dialogues from parent figures - automatic responses

Just as the parent has different aspects, so does the child Acc to TA theory, child develops into three parts:1. Natural Child (NC)- the natural child is Energetic Spontaneous Curious loving Uninhibited Feels free and loves pleasure 2. Adapted Child (AC) - Learned feeling of guilt, fear, anxiety, depression and envy are characteristics of the AC,the pride you feel when someone praises you. From their AC, reaction to external demands may be Complying Sulking Avoiding situations 3. The Little Professor (LP) - With the LP, a child psyches out a situation and seems to have an inborn ability to: Thinking part of the child Dream up new ideas pull just the right strings to reach a desired goal Intuitively sense what to do (or how to solve a problem) as if by magic The LP is able to: Come up with unusual concoctions Put familiar things together in new ways Imagine new ideas, products, solutions -

Difference between the Ego Stages

C
Sees self as Strategies used Sees others as Response to disapproval Inferior, entitled to less All childhood rules Bigger, more entitled fear, guilt , aversion

A
Equal context appropriate Equal objective appraisal

P
Sees self as
Responsible for Sees others as Saying no feels

A
Equal
Self Equal fine

intrinsically more capable

Self and others smaller to be protected cruel, mean

Aspects of the Ego Stages autocratic, fault finding, dismissive CONTROLLING constructive, organizing, firm smothering, invasive, overprotective -

NURTURING supportive, caring, compassionate

fearful, rebellious, compliant ADAPTED

egocentric, wild, inconsiderate

NATURAL
curious, playful creative +

+ accommodating, assertive,
cooperative

Analyzing Transactions

When ever people communicate, a transaction takes place between their ego states. These can be classified as : Complementary or Open (continuous and ongoing) Crossed Transaction or Blocked ( closed off or diverted) Ulterior Transaction/ communication ( playing games)

The 3 Rules of Communication in TA 1st Rule of Communication So long as transactions remain complementary, communication can continue indefinitely. 2nd Rule of Communication When a transaction is crossed, a break in communication results, and one or both individuals will need to shift ego states in order for the communication to be re-established 3rd Rule of Communication The behavioural outcome of an ulterior transaction (one where two messages are sent at the same time; one overt social and one covert psychological) is determined at the psychological level and not at the social level.

Invite them to move into Adult by: Asking a question Stating a few facts Asking for their opinion Asking for their preference Asking for their view

Invite them to move into Nurturing Parent by: Asking for their help Asking for their advice Asking for their expert opinion Communicating your fears/worries

Invite them to move into Natural Child (Free Child) by: Being one yourself Showing the funny side of the situation Going to nurturing parent Being enthusiastic Showing an unconventional way of looking at things.

Stroking Stroking refers to recognition of ones presence by others. Positive Stroke strokes that makes one feel good Negative Stoke stroke that makes one feel sad.

Strokes can be positive or negative: A) "I like you" B) "I don't like you" Strokes can be unconditional or conditional. An unconditional stroke is a stroke for being whereas a conditional stroke is a stroke for doing. For instance: "I like you" - unconditional "I like you when you smile" - conditional As negative strokes these might be: "I don't like you" - negative unconditional "I don't like you when you're sarcastic" - negative conditional

A key idea is that people hunger for recognition, and that lacking positive strokes, will seek whatever kind they can, even if it is recognition of a negative kind. We test out as children what strategies and behaviours seem to get us strokes, of whatever kind we can get. Strokes have to be unrestrictive. give strokes when we have them to give ask for strokes when we want them accept strokes if we want them reject manipulative strokes give ourselves positive strokes

In the absence of a positive stroke one turns to negative strokes; feeling of depression, guilt, low in confidence
Important factors For positive results it is crucial to give positive strokes Avoid stroking undesirable behavior Time your strokes Practice to Stroke even for minor approximations

Johari Window The Johari Window is a communication model that is used to improve understanding between individuals.
There are two key ideas behind the tool: That you can build trust with others by disclosing information about yourself. That, with the help of feedback from others, you can learn about yourself and come to terms with personal issues.
A model for self-awareness, personal development, group development and understanding relationship

ask
Known to Self UnKnown to Self

Known to Others Open

Feedback is solicited

Blind

tell
UnKnown to Others
Self discosure/ exposure Self - observation

Hidden

Unknown
Shared discovery Self discovery

Most of us realize that teams rely on trust in order to function productively, but how do you go about building that trust? The Johari Window is a model that helps you do this, and it helps you learn important things about yourself, and so develop as a human being. It is an information processing tool. The Johari Window actually represents information - feelings, experience, views, attitudes, skills, intentions, motivation, etc - within or about a person - in relation to their group, from four perspectives, which are described below. Trying to develop I am OK - you are OK life position. The ultimate goal of the Johari Window is to enlarge the Open Area, without disclosing information that is too personal. The Open Area is the most important quadrant, as, generally, the more your people know about each other, the more productive, cooperative, and effective they'll be when working together. The process of enlarging the Open Area quadrant is called "self-disclosure," and it's a give-andtake process that takes place between yourself and the people that you're interacting with. As you share information, your Open Area expands vertically and your Hidden Area gets smaller. As people on your team provide feedback to you about what they know or see about you, your Open Area expands horizontally, and your Blind Area gets smaller.