Essay Plan Feedback

Our Number One Concern

Are you addressing the essay question.

Evaluating all three ethics models Evaluating the situation from the Managers perspective (Sporting Store/Mining Manager) This is not an issue of the ethical practices of Nike. This is not an issue of whether the mine site should go ahead.

Identification of issues effective introduction

Introduction is integral to the structure of your argument argument.

Background Information (Nike/Whitehaven) The ethical dilemma the manager is facing The three ethical models/thesis statement Why the selected model is the most appropriate

Thesis Statement
Your proposition statement is the most important sentence in your essay. It sets out what you are going to do and what position you are taking in the essay. Not only does the proposition give you direction, but it also gives the reader direction. Example: This essay will explore the impact of a range of staffing problems on the hospitality and catering industry and suggest some possible solutions.

Each paragraph you write must add to, or be related to, your proposition in some way and should propel the argument forward.

Relevant Information
How grades were lost Not addressing all three ethics models adequately Not developing an argument that was related to management/ethics/academic information Having off topic information Examples:
Discussing other companies Discussing Nikes past in too greater detail Having an environmental rant, discussing the validity of the Coal Mines.

Terminology
You must acknowledge the author of management terminology. The knowledge regarding the different ethics models is NOT common knowledge. Therefore you MUST acknowledge the source

Critical Analysis

How marks were lost:

Arguments were opinion based Arguments were irrelevant Argument was taken from the incorrect perspective No academic journals to support the arguments A great reliance on biased or dodgy websites

Critical Analysis
Each paragraph should: discuss one main idea; have a topic sentence that relates to the thesis statement in some way; have internal organisation (paragraphs need to define, describe, explain, give examples, analyse and conclude a particular aspect of the essay topic); and be clearly and logically linked to the preceding and/or following paragraphs with appropriate connecting expressions such as: As a result.; Another key aspect of this question is.....

Critical Analysis
Your essay discussion should evaluate and analyse the information from journal articles and other sources you have consulted. Reading material is used as evidence to promote your own ideas - your voice within the essay.

Examples of Failing to Critically Analyse the Situation - Stakeholders

Sporting Store
Using <insert ethical model>, the sporting store will decided not stock Nike products.
What about the Stakeholders?
Customers? The sporting stores shareholders, could this affect how many employees you can continue to hire. Etc.

Using <insert ethical model>, the manager will decided not take the job. (The manager already works for Whitehaven)
What about the stakeholders?
Will this impact the environment? How will this affect the individual? Are you the most suited individual for the job, will you be letting your company down?

Conclusion

The conclusion summarises the findings of the essay, that is, the main points and the results. Although it does not introduce new information, the conclusion can look at the consequences and/or impact on the future. The conclusion should reiterate why the ethical model you have selected is the most appropriate to use. The conclusion should reiterate the benefits/harms the stakeholders could face as a result of that decision.

Referencing Conventions

Alphabetical Order Indentation Missing information Doi and Urls etc. Incorrect Order of Information Authors first names are always expected.

In-Text References
Only surnames are required Full stop after in-text references Quotes require page numbers All of the authors surnames are required. Only the first three words of an article with no author are required.

Sources

Two-thirds of the sources need to be from scholarly journals and scholarly books. If you are chasing a D or HD, for the final essay you will be required to have a surplus of academic journal articles WWW sources should be minimal.

Credibility of Resources
Do not use websites with incorrect spelling, or essay sample websites.

i.e. www.hoow.com http://www.tutor2u.net/ http://www.mightystudents.com/ www.ehow.com Wordpress Any website that uses numerals instead of expanded words.
i.e. www.essayhelp4u.com This website is not suitable

Definitions
Definitions for academic terminology MUST come from an academic book. An www.dictionary.com is not appropriate.

Control of Syntax

Ensure your essay has a structure, that you argument flows. A cohesive argument should be apparent when reading the essay.

Introduction and Conclusions Do Not Match

The essays introduction should therefore have a few sentences setting out the background or current situation of the topic to be discussed. You then need to indicate the approach you are going to take in a proposition statement: that is, what you are specifically going to discuss, examine or argue and what evidence you intend to provide. The conclusion summarises the findings of the essay, that is, the main points and the results. Although it does not introduce new information, the conclusion can look at the consequences and/or impact on the future.

Leading In
When referencing, it is important to lead in to quotes or paraphrasing. The lead-in allows the reader to follow the reasoning of the up-coming information. Examples of leading-in: Jones (2005, 4) states that company managers must regulate office procedures. Jones and Watson (2007) believe teamwork issues must be carefully considered and

Leading Out
Leading out concludes an idea. Example of leading-out: In conclusion, the views expressed by Johnson (2006) would indicate that successful cross-cultural interactions are necessary for business success.

First-Person v Third-Person Narrative

First person narrative is applicable in such situation where you are telling a story or writing a reflective essay. However in this situation you are writing an academic paper critically analysing the situation. Your argument will be constructed with academic sources, not your own personal stories; therefore third person narrative is expected.

Abusing Quote Usage

Quotes should be used to supplement your argument not write your argument You cannot just insert a quote into the text and expect the reader to know.

EXAMPLE: Inappropriate quote usage

Meindl & Ehrlich (1987, 3) argued the actual influence of leaders on organizational outcomes is overrated and romanticized as a result of biased attributions about leaders . However, Day and Lord (1988, 56) argued it is largely recognised and accepted by practitioners and researchers that leadership is important, and research supports the notion that leaders do contribute to key organizational outcomes.

The authors voice is not present!