We were given two ears but only one mouth.

This is because God knew that listening was twice as hard as talking.

People can hear four times faster than others can talk, which gives a skilled listener time to sort matters

Anatomy of Poor Listening

Sheer laziness and/or just not caring Noise and or physical discomfort Turing the speaker off and dwelling on the plethora of internal distractions Letting a remark of the speaker (with which we disagree) develop a prejudice which clouds or puts a stop to any further listening

Anatomy of Poor Listening

Boredom - remember, we hear four times faster that we speak Developing your own rebuttal or listening mainly to find an opening to state what you have to say (competitive or combative listening) Allowing personal characteristics of the speaker or his poor delivery to prevent understanding

Features of a Good Listener

Listen for the content of the message, Listen for the feelings of the speaker, Listen without making judgment, Respond to the feelings of the speakers,

Features of a Good Listener

Note the speakers cues, both verbal and nonverbal, Ask open-ended questions, and Reflect back to the speaker what you think you are hearing.

Qualities of Active Listeners

Desire to be other-directed No desire to protect yourself

Desire to imagine the experience of the other

Desire to understand, not critique

Skills for Active Listening

BODY LANGUAGE Examples: Sitting forward Eye contact

Nodding head

Skills for Active Listening

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS Examples: What happened after that? Who was there?

What did they do?

How did that work?

Skills for Active Listening

REPEAT CONTENT Examples: So what I hear you saying is . . .

Skills for Active Listening

ACKNOWLEDGING FEELINGS Examples: Youre feeling ___. It makes you (feeling) that . . .

Skills for Active Listening

DONT JUDGE Examples: Expressions before someone has even started.

Skills for Active Listening

BEING QUIET Examples: Count to yourself.

Qualities of ACTIVE LISTENING

Body Language Open-Ended Questions Acknowledge Feelings

Repeat Content

Dont Judge

Be Quiet

Active Listening Techniques

Encouraging Restating Reflecting Summarizing

Encouragement
The purpose is to convey interest and to keep the person talking. To do this dont agree or disagree. Use noncommittal words in a positive tone of voice. I see uh-huh Thats interesting What did you say then? What did he say when you said that? Be aware of your body language!

Restating
The purpose is to show that you are listening and understanding. To do this, restate the others basic ideas using your own words. If I understand you, you are saying In other words, your decision is Be aware of your body language!

Reflecting
The purpose is to show that you are listening and understand what they are feeling. To do this restate the others basic feeling. You feel that You were pretty disturbed by this Be aware of your body language!

Summarizing
The purpose is to pull important ideas, facts, etc. together, to establish a basis for further discussion and to review progress. To do this restate, reflect and summarize major ideas and feelings. These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed If I understand you, you feel this way about the situation Be aware of your body language!

DIFFERENT TYPES OF LISTENING

INFORMATIVE LISTENING Where your aim is to concentrate on the message being given. This may bethe content of a lesson, directions, instructions, etc.

APPRECIATIVE LISTENING
Where the listener gains pleasure/satisfaction from listening to a certain type of music for example. Appreciative sources might also include particular charismatic speakers or entertainers. These are personal preferences and may have been shaped through our experiences and expectations

CRITICAL LISTENING
Where the listener may be trying to weigh up whether the speaker is credible, whether the message being given is logical and whether they are being duped or manipulated by the speaker. This is the type of listening that we may adopt when faced with an offer or sales pitch that requires a decision from us.

DISCRIMINATIVE LISTENING
Where the listener is able to identify and distinguish inferences or emotions through the speakers change in voice tone, their use of pause, etc. Some people are extremely sensitive in this way, while others are less able to pick up these subtle cues. Where the listener may recognize and pinpoint a specific engine fault, a familiar laugh from a crowded theatre or their own childs cry in a noisy playground. This ability may be affected by hearing impairment.

EMPATHIC LISTENING
Where the listener tends to listen rather than talk. Their non-verbal behavior indicates that the listener is attending to what is being said. The emphasizes on understanding the speakers feelings and being supportive and patient. The remaining exercise and paired activities are designed to demonstrate the advantages of empathic listening and to highlight a range of obstructions that may prevent us from being effective listeners.

Thank-you