WHAT IS EMOTIONAL

INTELLIGENCE
DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to use your understanding of

emotions, in yourself and others. To deal effectively with people and

problems in a way which reduces anger and hostility, develops

collaborative effort, enhances life-balance and produces creative

energy.
IMPORTANCE OF E I

DECISION MAKING

Our emotions are a valuable source of information. Our emotions help us make
decisions. Studies show that when a person’s emotional connections are severed in
the brain, he can not make even simple decisions. Why? Because he doesn’t know
how he will feel about his choices.

BOUNDARY SETTING

When we feel uncomfortable with a person’s behaviour, our emotions alert us. If
we learn to trust our emotions and feel confident expressing ourselves we can let the
person know we feel uncomfortable as soon as we are aware of our feeling. This will
help us set our boundaries which are necessary to protect our physical and mental
health.
IMPORTANCE OF E I

COMMUNICATION

Our emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions, for
example, can convey a wide range of emotions. If we look sad or hurt, we are
signaling to others that we need their help. If we are verbally skilled we will be able to
express more about our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling
them. If we are effective at listening to the emotional troubles of others, we will be
able to understand what they are trying to communicate.

UNITY

Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of
the human species. Clearly, our various religious, cultural and political beliefs have
not united us.
Far too often, in fact, they have tragically and even fatally divided us. Emotions, on
the other hand, are universal. The emotions of empathy, compassion, cooperation,
and forgiveness, for instance, all have the potential to unite us as a species.
THE COMPONENTS OF EQ
PERSONAL COMPETENCE

Self-Regulation

Motivation

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

Empathy

Social skills

SELF – AWARENESS

Hallmarks
Defining the ability to
Self confidence
recognize and understand your
Realistic self-assessment
moods, emotions, and drives, as
well as their effects on others Sense of humour
THE COMPONENTS OF EQ

SELF-REGULATION

DEFINITION HALLMARKS

The ability to control

Self control
or redirect disruptive
impulses and moods Trustworthiness and integrity

The propensity to Comfort with ambiguity

suspend judgment; to
Openness to change
think before acting
PERSONAL COMPETENCE

Self-Awareness

Motivation

A passion to work for Achievement Drive

reasons which go
beyond money or Commitment
status
Initiative

Optimism

A propensity to
pursue goals with
energy and
persistence
PERSONAL COMPETENCE

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

COMPONENT

DEFINITION HALLMARKS
Empathy

The ability to understand the

Understanding others
emotional makeup of other people
Developing others

Service orientation
Skillin treating people according
to their emotional reactions Leveraging diversity
PERSONAL COMPETENCE

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

COMPONENT

DEFINITION HALLMARKS
Social Skill
Proficiency in managing Influence
relationships and building networks Communication
Conflictmanagement
An ability to find common ground Leadership
and build rapport. Change catalyst
Building bonds
Collaboration
Team capabilities
EQ Vs IQ
Emotional intelligence gives you a competitive edge.

Where every one is smart, studies find that the most valued and productive engineers
are those with the traits of emotional intelligence-not necessarily the highest IQ.

Having great intellectual abilities may make you a superb fiscal analyst or legal scholar,
but a highly developed emotional intelligence will make you a candidate for CEO or a
brilliant trial lawyer.

Empathy and other qualities of the heart make it more likely that your marriage will
thrive. Lack of those abilities explains why people of high IQ can be such disastrous
pilots of their personal lives.

An analysis of the personality traits that accompany high IQ in men who also lack these
Emotional competencies portrays, the stereo typical nerd: critical and condescending,
inhibited and uncomfortable with sensuality, emotionally bland.

By contrast, men with the traits that mark emotional intelligence are piosed and
outgoing, committed to people and causes, sympathetic and caring, with a rich but
appropriate emotional life-they’re comfortable with themselves, others, and the social
universe they live in.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN MARITAL
RELATIONSHIPS
Boys
Childhood Roots Intimate Enemies
and girls are taught different lessons in handling emotions.

This results in girls becoming adept at reading both verbal and non-verbal emotional
signals, at expressing and communicating their feelings.

Boys become adept in minimizing emotions having to do with vulnerability, guilt, fear
and hurt.

Women come into marriage groomed for the role of emotional marriage.

Men arrive with much less appreciation of the importance of this task for helping a
relationship survive.
MAPPING FAULT LINES IN A MARRIAGE

Harsh criticism / leaden with contempt.

Flight (stonewalling) or fight response to such criticism.

Victimized feelings / righteous indignation.

Emotional hijacking or flooding leading to hyper vigilance for any attack, insult etc.

Leading of parallel lives – feeling lonely within a marriage.

Divorce.
EPICTETUS – ANCIENT PHILOSOPHER

‘Men are not disturbed by things, but by the view

they take of them’

Epictetus