Business Etiquette

Dr. Thomas Clark Xavier University clarkt@xavier.edu www.communiskills.com 513.745.2025

Principles underpinning all etiquette: the Golden and Platinum rules

Golden: Treat others as you would like to be treated Platinum: Treat others as they would like to be treated

Perception Equals Reality

Two Stages: Initial Perception (Immediate) Sustained Perception (Over Time)

Initial and Sustained Perception

Initial Perception Presence Appearance Manner & Style Etiquette Awareness Sustained Perception Personal Substance & Professionalism Attitude Integrity Civility Work Ethic & Discipline

Presentation Listening and Interpersonal Skills Meeting Skills Business Meals

PRESENCE:

APPEARANCE MANNER & STYLE ETIQUETTE

Presence
People begin to evaluate us before any words are ever spoken Who you are speaks so loudly I do not hear what you say--Emerson

APPEARANCE

Carriage: exercise Handshaking: exercise Dress: handout Grooming First words: Exercise Listening: Exercise Introduction Style: Exercise Voice: exercise Name Recognition/Recall

Handshaking exercise handout

Pumper Dead Fish Squeezer Two handed Equal, with direct eye contact

Presence
DRESS * Does Dress Impact Decision on Interviewees? Yes 93% No 7% * Does Dress Impact Promotion Potential? Yes 96% No 4%

DRESS handout

The way you dress affects the way you are perceived, and the way you are perceived, is the way you are treated.
- Buck Rodgers Former VP of Marketing, IBM Author of The IBM Way

Grooming

Neatly trimmed hair Light perfume or cologne Clean and trimmed fingernails Limited jewelry Concealed tattoos; no visible body jewelry Polished shoes Stockings without runs Belts on pants; socks that match belt color

Mental rehearsal
Before you enter a situation, visualize what you are going to say and doand then mentally rehearse how you believe your audience will respond. At the same time, visualize what your audiences most preferred communicator would be saying and doing

Make your first words count

Ask yourself, What would the other person like to hear me say first? This will allow you to say something that will show you see things from the other persons point of view. Exercise: compliment someone at the table about something you know to be important to them.

Interaction: Listening skills handout

How do you know someone is listening to you? How do you feel when you know someone is listening to you? How do you describe a person who is listening to you?

Interaction: Listening skills

How do you know someone is ignoring you? How does it make you feel when you are ignored? How do you describe a person who has ignored you?

Interactive moment

Why should you plan your non-verbal communication as carefully as your verbal behavior before you take part in a job interview?

Planning a message
Purpose: What do I want to happen as a result of this message? When do I need a response? Strategic alignment: How does my memo contribute both to reader and company goals? How will readers react? Execution: Is this a good time to send this message? How can I finish it on time? How should I transmit this message?

Outlining your message

Open with your purpose: Clear subject line. Opening paragraph that answers the What, Why, and When questions. Order your arguments: Lead from strength; chronology; umbrella point. List action steps: Who does What When

Write an effective opening

Write precise subject lines Write first sentences that tell readers how you want them to react to the rest of the message Define the why(s) of your message Be sure your opening meets the so what test

Order your arguments

Lead from strength in action memos Order by chronology in explanatory memos

Highlighting
Headings: table of contents of memo; macro-organizers Lists: improves comprehension and retention; microorganizers Boldface, underlining, and italics: help readers scan information- more easily Indenting: reveal hierarchies of thought White space: improved curb appeal of memo

Make documents inviting to read

Overall appearance Margins Type Size Boxing Typeface Chunking Overall length Short paragraphs Short sentences Short words

Write the first draft

Opening paragraphs Background paragraph Scannable body paragraphs
write in what/why/data (or significance)

Issues/further discussion Follow-up paragraphs

Introducing yourself

Hi, Im Fred Jones (vs. Mr, Ms, or Dr)

Introducing yourself to a secretary

Hello. My name is Libby Smith. I am here for a 1 oclock appointment with Mr. Jones.

Introductions
Mention authority figures first and introduce others to them. Introduce a younger person to an older person. Always stand up. Always shake hands.

Introduce lower ranking person to higher ranking person. Include useful information

Father Graham, may I introduce Libby Smith, our new assistant director of diversity. She recently earned her MA in Human Resources at Indiana University. Father Graham has served as President of Xavier University for the past 6 years. Recently, US News & World Report ranked Xavier as the 2nd best comprehensive university in the Midwest.

Interactive moment
In groups of 3-4, introduce each members of the group to one another.

Remembering names

Get business cards from everyone you meet and makes notes on it about when you met, what you had in common, and details about the person, including names of children. Prefer the formal to the informal, especially with older and higher ranking people Avoid saying, Im sorry, I have forgotten your name Instead, say Help me out, your name was on the tip of my tongue and I must be having a senior moment.

Speak with authority (handout)

Even when asking questions, have your voice end on with a downward inflection.

Say What time is the meeting? once with voice raising at the end and one with voice ending with a downward inflection.

Write with authoritatively and positively and concisely, pp. 4-1 ff in workbook Authoritative language Positive language Concise language

Business Communication
Telephone calls Notes of Appreciation Phone Calls and Voice Mail Beepers, Cellular Phones and Portables

Telephone Etiquette handout & exercise, p 4-6

Identify yourself and your company. Ask the person if he or she has time to talk. Make calls during normal business hours. Return calls the same day. Never put someone on hold without asking permission. Dont do other work while on the phone Be courteous of others when screening calls.

General Dos and Donts

Outline points you want to make prior to placing a call. If your party is not there, leave a brief message and request a telephone appointment. If your party answers, identify yourself, stick to your outline and thank the person at the end of the call.

Conference calls
3-4 to 3-5, in workbook

Prepare Be respectful Be inclusive Keep moving Get commitments

Voice Mail, p. 3-2

Identify yourself and your return number immediately. Be brief and to the point. What you want, why it is of mutual interest, details, next steps. Leave return number again. Record your own concise outgoing message. Make sure you sound upbeat and optimistic

Your voice mail recording

Start with an upbeat greeting Indicate how the caller can get a response Close on a positive note (Make it a great day!) Do not have

a cute message background music a long introductory comment before the beep

Interaction
What are the differences in impressions you make when you use each of the following media: voice mail message e-mail message business letter telephone call impact of
normal call speaking from or to a speaker phone call waiting interruptions

Beepers, Cellular Phones and Portables

Limit the use. Put on vibrate or silent.

Notes of Appreciation
Thank You Letter of Commendation Memos of Recognition

Ice breakers
When visiting an office, pay attention to how the office is decorated. Look for clues that will allow you to compliment the other person on something non-controversial Avoid politics, religion, how much you earn, or negative communication such as comments about a company or people

Interactive moment
In small groups, identify something in your office dcor that perceptive visitors could identify that would allow them to compliment you or start a conversation about a topic that stirs feelings of pride within you.

Meeting Etiquette
Before the meeting Starting the meeting After the meeting

Etiquette at Business Meetings: Before the Meeting

Arrive early to make sure meeting room is set up correctly. Put agendas in place. Provide for drinks and a light snack. Stand near the door to thank each person who arrives. Ask what issues are of particular interest to them. Introduce new members to existing members

Etiquette at Business Meetings: Starting the Meeting

Ask new members of group to introduce themselves. Ask historical members to give their names and positions. Preview the agenda and set a time limit for each item, including time at the end of the meeting to come back to issues.

Etiquette at Business Meetings: During the Meeting

Ask non-contributing members if theyd like to add their perspectives. Note: Interestingly, research shows talkative members welcome the comments of others and shy members value inclusion in the conversation.

Etiquette at Business Meetings: Ending the Meeting

Summarize agreed upon actions, responsibilities and timing, later written as minutes and distributed to relevant parties. Thank group and guests for their time and contributions.

Social Events
Business Meals Rules for the Host Rules for the Guest Ordering

Business Meals
Breakfast Meetings: often best time to meet with busy executives Luncheon Meals: iced tea and simple food After-Work Cocktail: one only to stay in command in the meeting and on the road. Business Dinners B=Bread D=Drink

Rules for the Host

Dont impose invitations. Request responses as soon as possible. Invite others for business reasons. Select an appropriate setting.

Rules for the Host

Arrive early to greet guests. Give credit card to server in advance. Ask that 18% be added for a tip. Be sure server gives you signature form to sign promptly and discretely at end of meal. If price is a factor, indicate courses & meals you recommend that meet your guidelines. Apologize to guests if the food or service is below your expectations.

Rules for the Guest

Respond promptly to the invitation and give reasons for a negative response. Know where the event will take place and know what rules apply there. Arrive 2-3 minutes late, no later. Follow the host in deciding what to order. Be aware of what you order says about you to others. Thank the host. Say positive things about host that he or she want to hear said and cannot say about him or herself.

Ordering
Avoid awkward foods. Do not order alcohol if . . .

it

is against company policy. you will be driving after the meal. you dont want to drink alcohol. it will be your second drink.

Dining Etiquette
Leave some food on each plate Split bills evenly if bill is divided Do not take a doggy bag

Table Manners
Only begin eating after your host or guest is seated and begins eating. Bring food up to your mouth (soup spoon) Observe pace of eating of others and conform to their pace Cut one piece of food and eat it rather than cutting up meat all at once

Table Manners
Lay napkin across lap; do not use as a bib Select silverware from the outside in When finished, put silverware in 10 oclock position Do not dunk food Keep mouth closed when chewing

Sustained perception
All Four Elements are Important Attitude Integrity & Trust: Always Doing the Right Thing Civility Self Discipline

ATTITUDE
Be positive about yourself, your work, your boss, peers, coworkers, customers, suppliers, and company

ATTITUDE
Winning is not a some time thing; its an all the time thing. You dont win once in a while; you dont do things right once in a while; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
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-Vince Lombardi Former Head Coach Green Bay Packers

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INTEGRITY
- Telling the truth - Doing what you say you will do, reliability

CIVILITY

POSITIVE REGARD FOR OTHERS SINCERITY EMPATHY: EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT TACT AND DIPLOMACY RESPECT FOR DIVERSITY

SELF-DISCIPLINE
Making priorities and organizing time in terms of those priorities. Putting the important ahead of the easy.

PROVIDING SOLUTIONS TO CLIENT PROBLEMS

LISTEN FOR THE PAIN FOCUS ON CLIENT BUSINESS BENEFITS - ASK FOR THE BUSINESS

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT
NETWORKING PRODUCT/SERVICE CONFIDENCE PERSONAL CREDIBILITY

Understanding Office Protocol

Treat Others the Way You Want to be Treated Extending Greetings Nurturing Your Colleagues Overcoming Gossip Handling Rivals Accepting Criticism Graciously

Diplomacy
WHAT YOU THINK This is taking forever WHAT YOU SAY How can we get this approved (finished) quickly? What if you Would it be better if Heres my suggestion.

Why cant you I hate it when Heres the best way to do it.

Motivation
USE PHRASES THAT BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR LISTENER I know you want what is fair for both of us. I am sure you will do your best to help me out. I am counting on you. I enjoy working for you because you respond so effectively to your departments needs.

Take responsibility by
FOCUSING ON THE POTENTIALS OF THE FUTURE RATHER THAN THE CONCERNS OF THE PAST. US1NG A POSITIVE VOCABULARY: VIEWING PROBLEMS AS CONCERNS, ISSUES, OR, EVEN BETTER, OPPORTUNITIES FOR IMPROVEMENT. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DETERMINING HOW YOU CAN CHANGE TO IMPROVE THE SITUATION

Be Pro-Active
WONDER WHATS HAPPENING QUESTIONS Why doesnt this company value me?

MAKES THINGS HAPPEN QUESTIONS

How can I learn what management values? How can I show my value? How can I find out how to do this job so that I am confident I am doing it right? What s the best way to approach my manager to discuss this issue? How can I let my manager know what kind of additional training I need? How can I develop the skills I need on my own? How can I get my staff to tell me about how they feel about their work? How can I motivate them more effectively?

Why can I never understand exactly how I am supposed to do my job? When am I going to get the training I need?

Why does my staff show so little enthusiasm?

Reframe Questions Proactively

1 2 3 4 5 6 Why are things changing so fast? Why dont we ever change around here? When is this supplier going to call? Why is that customer always so discourteous? Why are our services so undervalued? Why do I do more work than any other member of my group? 7 Why is one of my co-workers so lazy?

Reframe questions proactively

8 Why is my supervisor so critical of my work? 9 Why isnt my staff following my directions? 10 Why do I have to always do what my boss wants? 11 Why cant I follow my own work priorities? 12 Why do I get sick so often? 13 When will I get some relief from this stress? 14 Why is it so hard to make friends here?

Diplomacy

I did not do the study because Ive been busy. You are so selfish you never see how much you demand.

The tests are not done yet! What do you people do all day? Dont you ever pay attention? This document is full of mistakes.

Thats wont work

I am planning to complete the study by Friday. I know you are busy. When can we schedule 30 minutes to discuss the possibility of hiring a part time assistant? I realize these tests require careful planning and execution. How soon can you finish? This memo is headed to the Director. Please make the changes I identified and proofread the report carefully. Thanks. I appreciate your help. Let me share my perspective on this issue.

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