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.
You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms
as it might make you seem defensive or guarded.
This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
If there are several people you are talking to, give them all
some eye contact to create a better connection and see if
they are listening.
Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out.
Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If
you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little
hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and
you’ll get used to it.
Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with
your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are
comfortable in your own skin.
When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your
shoulders.
They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to
loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them
back slightly.
Nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But
don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
But i n a r elaxed wa y, no t in a to o t ens e m anne r.
If you wa nt to sh ow tha t you are inte rest ed in
wha t some on e is saying, lean towa rd the pe rson
ta lking.
If you wa nt to sh ow tha t you’ re co nfide nt in
your se lf and re la xed le an ba ck a bi t. But do n’ t
le an in too much or you mig ht seem ne edy and
des pe rate for som e appr oval. Or lea n ba ck too
much o r you m ig ht see m a rroga nt a nd d ist ant .
lig hten up, d on’ t t ake you rself t oo seri ousl y.
Relax a bi t, sm ile and laug h when som eone says
som et hin g funny . Peopl e will be a lot more incli ned to
list en t o you i f you seem t o be a p osit ive perso n.
But don ’t be the first to laug h at yo ur own jok es, it
mak es you seem ne rvou s and nee dy. Smil e when you
are int roduced to som eo ne but don’ t keep a sm ile
plast ere d on yo ur fac e, yo u’ ll seem in sincere.
It mi ght ma ke you see m nervous and ca n be
dis tra cti ng for the li ste ne rs or the pe ople in the
co nv er sation
Do n’t ke ep your eyes on th e gr ound , it mi gh t
ma ke you se em inse cure and a bi t los t. Ke ep your
he ad up stra ig ht and your eyes to wa rds the
ho rizo n.
Th is goe s for ma ny th ing s. Wa lk ing slowe r no t
onl y ma ke s you se em mo re calm and co nf iden t, it
wi ll a ls o ma ke y ou f ee l less s tre ssed .
If someo ne addr esse s you, don’t sna p you’r e nec k
in the ir dir ect ion, tur n it a bit mor e slo wly
inst ead.
 Tr y to avoid , pha se out or tr ansfor m fidg et y
mo vem ent and ner vous ticks such as sha king your
le g or ta ppi ng your fing ers aga ins t the ta ble
rapi dly .

 Yo u’ll see m ne rvous and fid ge ting can be a

dis tra cti ng wh en you t ry t o ge t s ome th ing a cr oss.

 De clut te r your mo veme nts if you are all over th e

pla ce . Tr y to relax, slow down and focus your
mo vem ent s
 Inst ead of fidget ing with your hand s and scra tch ing
yo ur face use them to communi cat e wh at you ar e
tryi ng to s ay.
 Use your hand s to describe som et hing or to ad d
wei gh t to a poin t you are tryi ng to make . But don’ t use
them to much or it mi ght becom e dist rac ting . And
don’ t le t yo ur hand s flai l aroun d, use them wit h som e
cont ro l .
Do n’t ho ld your dr ink in front of your che st . In fact ,
don’ t hold any thi ng in front of your he art as it wi ll
ma ke y ou se em gua rded a nd di sta nt.

Lo we r i t a nd h old i t be side your leg i ns te ad.

Many peop le mig ht sit or stand wi th a str aig ht
back in a goo d postu re.
Ho we ver, the y mig ht think that the sp ine en ds
whe re the ne ck be gins and th er efor e cr ane th e
ne ck f or war d in a Mo ntgo me ry B urns- pose.
Yo ur sp ine end s in the back of you r he ad. Keep
you whol e spine str aig ht and alig ne d for better
postu re.
On e of th e thi ngs we learne d from Se inf eld is th at
eve rybody ge ts wei rded out by a clos e-t alk er. Le t
pe ople ha ve t he ir pe rsona l sp ace , do n’ t inv ade i t.
• Of ten when you get along with a perso n, when the tw o of
you get a good con nect ion, you wil l sta rt to mi rro r each
ot her un con scious ly.

 Tha t mean s that you mi rror the ot her person’ s bod y

lan guag e a bit. To ma ke the con ne ction be tter you ca n try a
bi t of proa ctive mi rrorin g.

• If he lea ns for ward , you mig ht lean fo rw ard . If she holds

her han ds on her thig hs, yo u mi ght do the same. But don ’t
react in sta ntly and do n’t mirro r every cha nge in bod y
lan guag e. Then w ei rdness w il l en sue.
la st but no t le ast, keep a po siti ve, op en and rela xed
atti tude .

How you feel wi ll co me thr oug h in your body

la ngua ge a nd c an ma ke a ma jor d ifferenc e.
Thank You