HABIT 5#: SEEK FIRST T0 UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

Based on Stephen Coveys 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

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Listeni
By Jasyanthri Nadaraja 1/4/13Sharing_28092012 Knowledge

Principle#: To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other

Ineffective:

Behaviour: Results: 1. Diagnose Before 1. Greater influence with Prescribe others 2. Listen Empathically 2. Solutions to complex 3. Seek to be understood problems from the others 3. Clarity on real Key to effective interpersonal issues perspective 4. Faster problem solving

I listen with the intent to reply Effective: I listen with the intent to understand

communication

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Autobiographical Listening
Levels of Listening: (1) IGNORING / SPACING OUT Mind wandering / daydreaming (2) PRETEND LISTENING Not paying attention but (3) pretending to SELECTIVE LISTENING Hearing only what you want to (4) hear ATTENTIVE LISTENING Listening with intent to reply 5TH Level The Highest Form of Listening
v

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Autobiographical Responses

Filtering what others say

e.g. Experiences; Stories; Prejudices/ Biases; and Values Typical Responses:

i. ii. iii. iv.

Advising - Counsel & Offer Probing Solutions - Asking from our reference Interpretingframe - Explaining based on Evaluating experience - Judging

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Effective Listening
Wanting

to listen and wanting to understand the other person Empathic Listening Empathy

Through

Definition:

WHAT:(i) Putting yourself in another persons situation HOW:(ii) Reflecting what the other person feels and say it in your own words

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Empathic Listening
EMPATHIC LISTENING RESPONSES (1) Repeat what was just said (2) Rephrase content Repeat in your own words (3) Reflect feelings - Express what you think the other feels. (4) Rephrase and reflect feelings (combine 2 & 3)Discern when not necessary or appropriate *

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Empathic Listening As A Communication Tool

Empathic listening is about using ALL these aspects of communication at the same time.

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Reading the Signs

Our body language, tone of voice, and feelings communicate more loudly than the words we use.

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Listening with your eyes

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Keys to Effective Listening

Judge

content, not delivery

The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over delivery errors.

Keep

your mind open

The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words; does not get hung up on them

Listen

for ideas

The Poor Listener: Listen for facts The Good Listener: Listen for central theme 1/4/13

ContKeys to Effective Listening

Resist

distractions

The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions; tolerates bad habits in others; knows how to concentrate.

Hold

your fire

The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument The Good Listener: Doesnt judge until comprehension is complete

Thought

The Poor Listener: Tends to daydreamTHE END with slow 1/4/13

is faster than speech; Use it

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THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! Q&A???

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