Consent, Part 3: Working In The Gray

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Consent, Part 3: Working In The Gray

FromDear Sugars

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Length:

41 minutes

Released:

Mar 24, 2018

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

In the final episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars discuss what happens when non-consensual sexual attention moves from the private to the public realm.

Released:

Mar 24, 2018

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Radically empathic advice

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Rapid Fire: Should I Stay Or Go?: The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move. by Dear Sugars
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Haunted By Ghosting: The term "ghosting" may be relatively new, but the concept -- someone suddenly and inexplicably disappearing from your life -- is not. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But in a time where our devices have made us more accessible than ever, it can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. The Sugars discuss ghosting with the essayist and cartoonist Tim Kreider. He's the author of "We Learn Nothing," … by Dear Sugars
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Can A Sexual Assault Survivor Love A Rapist?: The Sugars discuss a letter from a survivor of sexual assault who has just been told by her long-time partner that he raped someone when he was in high school. The writer wonders how she, as a survivor and self-proclaimed feminist, can justify loving a rapist. by Dear Sugars
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Rapid Fire: Love In Doubt: How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. by Dear Sugars
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Dear Sugar: Live In Cambridge: This week, we're revisiting an episode taped last November in front of a live audience at First Parish Church in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Recorded on the release day of Cheryl's book of quotes, Brave Enough, the Sugars discuss the importance of quotations in their own lives. They are joined on-stage by rock star Amanda Palmer. by Dear Sugars
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Sexual Fluidity: "Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. She wrote about the evolution of her own family structure in her 2013 Modern Love column for The New York Times, "Coming Out As a Modern Family," which she later … by Dear Sugars
44 min listen
An Update From 'Two Truths And Many Lies': The Sugars catch up with "Two Truths and Many Lies," whose letter about her husband's infidelity generated significant interest and advice from our listeners. Did she stay with her husband or walk away? The Sugars find out. by Dear Sugars
49 min listen
Does 'The Wicked Stepmother' Still Feel Wicked?: The Sugars revisit a letter from a woman who felt like a fairytale-esque wicked stepmother. When she wrote to the Sugars, she was feeling pressured to love her stepchildren "like her own," but she didn't want to be their mother. The Sugars find out how the self-proclaimed 'Wicked Stepmother' and her husband are doing today. by Dear Sugars
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Body Weight And Romance — With Ashley C. Ford: It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with the writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies. by Dear Sugars
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The Long Goodbye: It's never easy saying goodbye to our loved ones, but it can be especially painful when a goodbye is drawn out by illness. This week, the Sugars answer two letters dealing with the guilt and heartache involved in a long goodbye to a parent. They're joined by Robin Romm, author of the memoir "The Mercy Papers," which tells the story of her mother's death from cancer. by Dear Sugars
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Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 2 - Male-Female Friendships: The Sugars' conversation on friendship continues with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion. by Dear Sugars
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Rapid Fire: Make The Call: The Sugars bring you another "rapid fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters. This time, they challenge each other to make the call -- one way or the other -- on the questions they're discussing, rather than offer open-ended guidance. by Dear Sugars
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Letters From Teenagers: For most of us, our teenage years were marked by feelings of insecurity, loneliness and uncertainty. This week, the Sugars revisit an episode in which they discussed questions exclusively from teenagers. They're joined by Tavi Gevinson, founder and editor of Rookie, a digital magazine for teenage girls. by Dear Sugars
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Dear Sugar Live In Portland: Part 1: Big news, Sugar fans: The Sugars have another live show coming up -- Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist, Portland Edition, on Sunday, January 15th, 2017, at the Aladdin Theatre in Portland, Oregon. This week, we're giving you a taste of the "DSR Live" experience by revisiting one of the live shows we recorded at Revolution Hall in Portland this summer. by Dear Sugars
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When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It': Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? The Sugars discuss with writer and artist TaLynn Kel, author of The Establishment piece “My Husband’s Unconscious Racism Nearly Destroyed Our Marriage." by Dear Sugars
32 min listen

More Episodes from Dear Sugars

Skip carousel

Episodes We Love: 'Head Or The Heart' Update: The Sugars get an update from "Head or the Heart" — a woman who'd fallen in love with a man with a troubled childhood. She worried that the traumas of his past could surface at some point in their relationship. Nine months later, is she still with her boyfriend? The Sugars find out. by Dear Sugars
34 min listen
Redux: Body Weight and Romance: It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies. by Dear Sugars
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Archive: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It': Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016. by Dear Sugars
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(Encore) Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 2 - Male-Female Friendships: The Sugars' conversation on friendship continues with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion. by Dear Sugars
32 min listen
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41 min listen
Redux: The Stepchild's Dilemma: Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018. by Dear Sugars
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Encore: Buyer's Remorse: Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, and he joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family don’t take her spending seriously. by Dear Sugars
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Redux: Love In Doubt: How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. by Dear Sugars
42 min listen
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35 min listen
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52 min listen
Encore: Cutting The Financial Cord: At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. by Dear Sugars
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Redux: A Spy In The House Of Love: Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars and writer Ariel Levy answer this question on today’s episode. by Dear Sugars
33 min listen
Redux: The Empty Chair, Part 2: This is part two of the series on early childhood death. The Sugars read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder. by Dear Sugars
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Redux: Trust Your Body: Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” Now, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” The Sugars discuss and share their own struggles with body image. by Dear Sugars
42 min listen
Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 2: Oprah Winfrey: "What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no." by Dear Sugars
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Redux: The Other Half of Sexless Relationships by Dear Sugars
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Encore: The Empty Chair, Part 1: In the Empty Chair series, the Sugars discuss early childhood death, an absence that can be ever-present. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. by Dear Sugars
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Encore: What About The Stepchildren?: When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? This episode, the Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story. by Dear Sugars
40 min listen
Encore: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me: Divorce is a painful process, especially when there are children involved. In this favorite episode from the archives, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side. This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016. by Dear Sugars
32 min listen
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Encore: The Power of No, Part 1: There’s incredible power in saying “yes.” It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. by Dear Sugars
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Encore: In the Shadow of Damaged Parents: A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. In this favorite episode from the archives, Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out. by Dear Sugars
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42 min listen
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32 min listen
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Consent, Part 3: Working In The Gray

Consent, Part 3: Working In The Gray

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from Dear Sugars