Paychecks & Balances – PB106 Today Kwame Christian re-joins Rich on the podcast. Kwame was one of the first guests that appeared on the show during the creation of Paychecks & Balances. Kwame is a business lawyer by trade and the Director of The American Negotiation Institute. His mission is make conversations easier by using a multidisciplinary approach to the teaching of conflict management and negotiation. These skills can come in especially handy when dealing with your boss, roommate, family, friends, spouse etc… Last year, Kwame hosted a TEDx Talk on “Finding Confidence in Conflict.” He also hosts the top negotiation podcast in the country, “Negotiate Anything”. In this episode you’ll learn some tips on how to talk to your partner about finances, how to talk to HR during your performance review at work and what the difference between internal and external negotiation is. Highlights: Kwame’s Tedx Talk “Finding Confidence in Conflict” received over 24,000 downloads in 24 hours. Cognitive Appraisal, the perception of experience. Fear and anxiety before a big conversation. Using CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to overcome anxiety and have more confidence during conversations. Compassionate Curiosity – A three-step process that includes: Acknowledging emotions, getting curious with compassion and joint problem solving. Before the conversation the internal negotiation starts. This is where you’re negotiating with yourself, getting curious. In this stage you’re determining where you stand, how you feel, what you want and why. There are three reasons for why a conversation breaks down: The Frame, the pace or the direction. The frame is the story line you put on the conversation. The pace is how fast the conversation happens. The direction is how you’re guiding the conversation. Persuasive Weight – To much persuasion in a conversation for one person to handle. LinkedIn, the best place to do business. The Takeaway: Get curious; know your intentions and feelings going into a conversation where you’re going to be negotiating. Keep the conversation on track and don’t use too much persuasive weight to try and get your way. Paychecks & Balances Website: https://paychecksandbalances.com/ https://www.patreon.com/paybalances Instagram: @paybalances Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paychecksandbalances Twitter: @paybalances Kwame Christian Website: https://americannegotiationinstitute.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwamechristian/ Negotiate Anything Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/negotiate-anything-negotiation-persuasion-influence/id1101679010?mt=2 Tedx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6Zg65eK9XU Kwame’s Book - Nobody Will Play with Me, How To Use Compassionate Curiosity To Find Confidence in Conflict: https://www.amazon.com/Nobody-Will-Play-Compassionate-Confidence-ebook/dp/B07K611VQD/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1541460180&sr=1-1&keywords=nobody+will+play+with+me+how+to+use+compassionate