Emotional Development in Children

At the start of their lives, babies are programmed to seek out the things that they want by crying. As they mature, though, children's emotional capabilities expand, allowing them to develop a variety of skills that they will need in their adult lives. Emotional development encompasses the feelings that we have about ourselves and others, as well as our capabilities to function well in the world from a social standpoint.

Babies and Their Emotions

While babies seem to be born with some of their emotional qualities in place, much of how they develop initially can be credited to the lessons that they are taught by their Primary Caregivers. Warm, attentive care, especially during the first year of life, helps babies to gain a sense that the world is a safe and welcoming place. That sense of security can be a good base for the development of other healthy emotional responses. Babies form attachments to the people closest to them when they are quite young, showing increased anxiety and restlessness when with unfamiliar people. These first and most important relationships serve as a child's earliest lessons in forming close, emotional bonds. The vast majority of babies have their biological mother as their primary caregiver, but that is not always the case. Studies have shown that a primary caregiver can be a mother, a father, or any person close to the child to whom they form a strong bond. What's important is not the official role of the caregiver, but that fact that he or she is there from the beginning, allowing the child to form a close bond and, eventually, bond closely with others.

Toddlers - the Beginning of Independence

As children move from infancy into the toddler era, they gain a sense of self, separate from their parents and siblings. Since this is a whole new world for them, frustrations can run high (for mum and dad, too!) and they may be prone to Temper Tantrums or other behaviours that their parents find objectionable. As with any new skill, learning to control negative emotional responses takes time, so parents should try to be patient with their temperamental toddlers. Children need to learn that there are better and more effective ways to get what they want than to throw tantrums, and parents can help them by exercising firm kindness. While they may be a bit emotionally high-strung, toddlers are also likely to show the first signs of compassion, expressing worry when a playmate or family member seems sad or upset. These expressions of positive emotion should be complimented by parents and caregivers who are striving to encourage healthy emotional development.

Kindness and Self-Control

By the time that they are school-aged, children begin to take pride in their ability to exert selfcontrol, and enjoy the feedback that they receive from being responsible and cooperative. This presents parents and educators with the opportunity to foster desirable emotional responses by pointing out situations in which children behaved in mature, compassionate ways. Related on Kids Development...

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School-aged children are also faced with their own unique challenges, of course, so parents must do all that they can to help kids to navigate unfamiliar situations. Sibling Rivalry is common, which can be exasperating for parents who harbour hopes that their children will get along famously. Allowing the children to work things out for themselves is wise (unless the situation gets truly out of control) because each time that the kids resolve an issue, they take steps toward emotional maturity. While sibling rivalry can be annoying and even stressful for parents, it's common for brothers and sisters to squabble with one another. Children's needs are constantly evolving, and it can be difficult to keep up with their needs and anxieties. Relating to siblings can often help set the stage for how they eventually relate to others, so help set the stage by providing guidance and support - and try not to get too tense!

Pre Teens
Being a pre-teen can be a tricky time. Children at this age are just starting to spread their own wings, and while they want some (limited) independence, they also want the security of strong parenting. This is the time when parents should gradually loosen the reins a bit, in order to set the groundwork for full-blown adolescence. While the task may seem daunting, holding too tightly to the apron strings will eventually have a detrimental effect. Communicating well with pre-teens is vital. Not only does it set the foundation for a strong parent-child relationship, it also will help you both cope better when they cross over that threshold into adolescence. Don't forget, however, that some pre-teens feel a real need for privacy, and may not want to share everything with Mummy and Daddy. This is a time of self-discovery for many children, and may also be the first time they are struggling to fit in at school, and with friends. Show them that you love them no matter what, and that you are also there. Make the time to spend time together, and help them feel secure and safe, both in their relationship with you and with others.

Almost Adults

The teen years can be turbulent (a true understatement!), with additional stresses put on adolescents that they may not have encountered in the past. Social and school responsibilities, coupled with a natural desire to make their own decisions without the input of their parents, can be cause for distress as well as opportunities for growth. Depending on the Teen's Emotional Development up to that point, adolescents may find themselves dealing with feelings of depression, anxiety, or helplessness, in which case, parents must do all that they can to ease their child's stress level. Encouraging activities that promote self-esteem and a sense of community will serve teens well, since they are only steps away from taking full responsibility for their lives. As parents we may consciously understand that adolescence is a time of extremely rapid growth, both physical and emotional, but that doesn't always make it easy to handle. Teens' emotions seem to be always on the brink, and as their tempers go up and down so do ours. Questioning family values and school rules is par for the course when it comes to teens; they believe they are the centre of the universe, and their sense of risk-taking is often way off-kilter. Parents can help their own teens by setting reasonable limits, and realising that no matter how they behave, deep down adolescents are crying out for guidance. Allow your children to make as many decisions on their own as possible, and choose your battles carefully. Remember, helping them to become independent now, despite mistakes they may make along the way, will prove invaluable to their development as adults.

Expert Opinions
Lawrence Kohlberg, an American psychologist, felt that people continued to grow and develop emotionally and socially, throughout their entire lives. He determined that we work through six stages (in three levels, with two stages each) of moral development in order to reach our highest potential. His theory seems especially plausible as he acknowledged that not all people will attain the highest levels of morality and emotional maturity. The goal then, for parents, is to encourage their children's emotional development while paying close attention to the examples they are setting for their impressionable youngsters. British parenting expert Sue Atkins acknowledges that raising a happy family can be exhausting and challenging, but also incredibly rewarding. Nobody can be a perfect parent, she says, but we can all strive to raise happy, confident and self-assured children."It's not about how often or where you take your kids out for day trips, or how much you spoil them with gifts and goodies that's important," she writes. "It's about the time you spend with them and about embracing the key skills and resources that we as parents all have readily available in our armoury already to ensure that the end goal of raising happy, confident children is achieved."

Emotional development should be started at an early age as soon as children start kindergarten and preschool so that their interaction with others will help develop them in both social and intellectual ways. Emotional development and intellectual development normally go hand in hand to help the child develop socially because it is the interaction amongst both children and adults that creates a health emotional state. The difference between positive and negative feeling towards any given situation may

be due to emotional development. Some children respond very well to a multitude of different social situations and interaction which would suggest they have a strong emotional development while still many children today have quirks and ticks from emotional problems or trauma which causes them to have difficulty interacting in social scenes and find daily routine difficult to deal with. Some people lacking in emotional development are the complete contrast and suffer when their routine is interrupted. This is typically seen in children with autism who cope better when regular routine is kept. From the age of 2 onward the child begins to test himself or herself and the boundaries that the world has put before them. This is standard child like behavior which is a good way to start the process of emotional development. Not all emotional development is done through interaction and children should be left to discover things on their own from time to time. Problem solving then becomes a strong part of their day to day life where for children every first attempt at routine or duty is a problem solving challenge. Positive reinforcement is encouraged for both good results and poor results and will encourage the child to persist in problem solving. Tantrums are a way of the child expressing themselves because words often fail them or for those more developed in speech they feel that words are not adequate to get the message across. Again positive reinforcement although at this stage is hard for a parent is considered the best way to counter attack the situation. If the child can be persuaded to talk about or signal the problem then emotional development has worked and the child will be less likely to tantrum again. Impulse is another problem for small children and even teenagers that have not developed their social interaction skills have trouble with impulsive decisions. Parents need to implement boundaries which control impulsive behavior such as destruction, swearing or even stealing. These attributes are not socially acceptable and will cause trouble later in life if guidelines are not enforced. Emotional development is a sparc subject which affects many parts of day to day life beginning at an early age and continues for the rest of our lives. Even the elderly can be subjected to persuasion if they let themselves be manipulated so emotional development should be continuously worked on and emphasized.

The Stages of Emotional Development According to Erik Erikson

The way in which children and adolescents develop from an emotional point of view is very important for their adulthood life. According to psychiatrist Erik Erikson, there are eight emotional development stages that make up the socialization process. He calls them the eight stages of man and he came up with them in 1956. According to Erikson, each stage represents a psychosocial crisis that arises and demands resolution before the next stage enters the stage. He did not develop these stages through experimental work. His experience in psychotherapy regarding children and adolescents

opened new horizons for him that helped him associate every development phase of a child with a stage which represents the foundation of the childs further development. The first stage, hope, is also known as learning basic trust versus basic mistrust and represents the infancy period through the first 1 or 2 years of life. In this stage, parents need to well handle, nurture and love their children in order for them to develop trust, security, and a basic optimism. If these aspects are badly handled, then children become insecure and mistrustful. This means that parents need to carefully cater to their childrens needs in order for them to grow up with a sense of trust. The second stage, will, is also known as learning autonomy versus shame and it occurs during early childhood. This stage usually begins when the child is 18 months old and goes on until the age of 4. In this stage, children are not able to fully associate autonomy with assured self-possession, independence and initiative. However, the stormy self-will, negativism and stubbornness begin to emerge. In the third stage, known as purpose of learning initiative versus guilt, children learn how to imagine, broaden their skills by means of active play of all kinds, cooperate with others, lead, and follow. This stage occurs in preschool years. Guilt starts to make room and causes children to feel fearful, restricted, and dependent on adults. These were the first emotional development stages according to Erik Erikson. The other ones are industry versus inferiority (competence), learning identity versus identity diffusion (fidelity), learning intimacy versus isolation (love), learning generativity versus selfabsorption (care), and integrity versus despair (wisdom). It is very important for parents to know and understand these emotional development stages to be able to raise their children properly and make good persons out of them.