Writing Effective Sentences Read the two paragraphs below.

Paragraph 1 The bartender said the accident victim always dropped in at the bar at 11 oclock every morning. After that, the victim went out to the Sports Club for his lunch. On the way there, he had to cross the road. A postman also wanted to cross the road. He saw the victim cross the road and noticed that he did not look left or right. When the accident happened, a housewife also saw the victim being hit by the car. The housewife did not do anything because she fainted. A grocer heard the sound of the car hitting the victim. He ran out and saw the victim in front of the car. Paragraph 2 At eleven o'clock in the morning, the accident victim dropped in at the bar for an appetizer. Twenty minutes later, he finished his drink and left the bar. He stepped forward to cross the road. At the same time, a postman, also about to cross the road, saw the victim who was lurching drunkenly as he stepped off the kerb. Just then, a car appeared from nowhere and hit the victim. The accident was also witnessed by a housewife who promptly fainted. A grocer, whose shop was near the scene of the accident, ran out at the sound of the accident.

As you can see, both paragraphs have grammatically correct sentences. However, the second paragraph has a better style. The writer uses varied sentence patterns such as sentence length, sentence type, and sentence order. He also uses concise words, employs appropriate transition signals and describes the accident clearly and coherently. In other words, the second paragraph employs effective sentences. Effective sentences are achieved through the use of the means mentioned - different sentence patterns, variety, and length. Sentence Patterns There are three main sentence patterns: Simple sentence Compound sentene Complex sentence Simple Sentences A simple sentence consists of a subject and a verb. It is a normally short. Example: Judy sings. The baby cries. Albert studies.

Compound Sentences Short sentences, like the above examples, can be combined to form longer sentences called compound sentences. Compound sentences help to combine ideas that are of equal importance or of the same rank. They do so by expressing the ideas in the same grammatical form - words, phrases, or clauses. These grammatical forms are combined through the use of conjunctions. Conjunctions also help to avoid unnecessary repetition of words. The table below shows examples of conjunctions which are useful for combining ideas that are of equal importance. CONUNCTION and yet but or nor so for EXAMPLE The lecturer entered the classroom and started teaching. The little boy tried his best, yet he could not lift the heavy box. The short man craned his neck over the crowd to see the procession but he could see nothing. Put up your hands or I will kill you, warned the robber. He would not lend me money for my bus fare nor would he give me a lift. The lecturer threatened to punish him, so he quickly finished his homework. Do not worry, for the situation will improve soon. FUNCTION addition contrast

choice negative choice result; effect reason or choice

Note how the conjunction and combines the ideas in the examples below. Example: Words Phrases SIMPLE SENTENCES The girl was young. The girl was pretty. He passed his exam by paying attention in class. He passed his exam by studying hard. He went to the library. He borrowed a book. COMPOUND SENTENCES The girl was young and pretty. He passed his exam by paying attention in class and by studying hard. He went to the library and borrowed a book.

Clauses

Complex Sentences When ideas are unequal but related, i.e. when one idea is dependent on another, you can make use of complex sentences to show this unequal relationship. Complex sentences: allow us to express the relative importance of ideas in a sentence. make a less important idea grammatically less prominent through the sentence structure. split a sentence into its main clause and its subordinate clause, for example, adverb clause, adjective clause, and noun clause. The main clause carries the central idea while the subordinate clause holds the less important idea.

All these are achieved through the use of clause markers or transition signals. Look at the examples in the table below. CLAUSE MARKERS/ TRANSITION SIGNALS
since because if even if unless

EXAMPLES
Since no one helped me, I had to do the work by myself. I like Mr. Ong because he is a very understanding boss. If you do not behave yourself, I will punish you. Even if he comes now he will not be able to sit the test. You will not understand the concept unless you pay attention to the speaker. You can collect the cheque today provided you come in personally. You can stay in this house as long as you pay the rent. Although the building was made of reinforced concrete, it still collapsed during the earthquake. Though she did not agree with the final decision to carry out the project, she still supported its implementation. Even though he graduated a year ago, he still cannot get a proper job. You must study hard so that you can get good results in your examinations. The student worked part-time in order that he could continue his studies. After he had dug the hole, he buried the dead cat in it. Wash your hands before you eat. Whenever I feel sad, I sing a song to cheer myself up. Do not open the exam booklet until you are told to do so. Hand in your work when you have finished it. She sat there while I wrote my letter. Sit where there is light. She makes friends easily wherever she goes. The customer who was cheated lodged a complaint at the police station. The man whom I was rude to turned out to be my new boss. During the recession, the manager dismissed the workers whose work was slipshod. The pasar malam which I visited last night was a hive of activity.

FUNCTION
cause

condition

provided as long as although

concession

though

even though so that

purpose

in order that

after before whenever until when while where wherever who

time

location

relative pronouns

whom whose

which

Exercise A Combine the ideas in the following pairs of sentences into compound or complex sentences. Use suitable conjunctions, transition signals, or clause markers. There may be more than one way to combine the sentences. 1. The man was unable to work. He had suffered a stroke. 2. Truancy will become a serious problem. No immediate and appropriate action is taken. 3. Police moved in on the underground jungle casino. They received information on its operations. 4. The worker appealed against the dismissal. His appeal was turned down. 5. The trip to the Australian outback was exciting. The trip to the Australian outback was educational. 6. The police are trying to identify the robbers. The robbers were involved in the bank robbery. 7. You must be in the exam hall at least ten minutes before time. You will not be allowed to sit the test. 8. The women cooked the fresh kangaroo meat. The men told stories at the campfire. 9. The teacher did not mention his name. He knew the teacher was referring to him. 10. I don't want to marry you. I don't love you.

Variety and Length As mentioned earlier, a basic sentence consists of a subject and verb, for example, She walks. Your writing would be boring if you have a string of only short sentences, or only long sentences, or only sentences of the same length throughout the essay. To keep your readers interested: vary the length of your sentences vary the type of sentences vary the order of the sentences make use of emphasis Vary Sentence Length The table below shows the ways in which you can expand a basic sentence. Basic sentence Adjective Adverb Prepositional phrase Participial phrase Absolute phrase Adverb phrase Adjective clause The boy ran The frightened boy ran. The boy ran quickly. In terror, the boy ran. Frightened by what he had seen, the boy ran. Hands swinging wildly, the boy ran. Because he was frightened by what he had seen, the boy ran. The boy, who was frightened, ran.

Vary Sentence Type You can do this by giving an occasional question, a mild command (or declarative), or an exclamation. Example:
You could not have better mother than mine. Could anyone have a better mother than mine? He was selfish, uncaring man. What a selfish, uncaring man he was! Candidates should not communicate with each other in the exam hall. Do not communicate with each other in the exam hall.

Vary Sentence Order The basic sentence begins with the subject which is followed by a verb. You can invert the sentence order or re-position your modifiers as shown below. Example: I have never seen such a horrifying accident. Never have I see n such a horrifying accident. The hungry and angry dinosaur came charging at the men. The dinosaur, hungry and angry, came charging at the men.

Use emphasis Emphasis through balanced sentences can be achieved by balancing two coordinate (equal) ideas in your sentences. Example: She tried to undo the knot, but it became tighter. The more she tried to undo knot, the tighter it became. If we have more people at the party, it will be merrier. The more people at the party, the merrier (it will be). It would be better if you finish your work soon. The sooner you finish your work, the better (it will be).

*Comment: In the above examples, emphasis is achieved through the use of the comparative: the more the tighter, the more the merrier, the sooner the better. Emphasis through repetition works by repeating key words. This strategy helps your sentences to carry the impact that is wanted. However, use only words that carry the main idea. Example: We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender. (Winston Churchill) that government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the earth. (Abraham Lincoln)

Comment: In the two examples, two great statesmen used this strategy. In the first one, Sir Winston Churchill repeated we shall fight to revive the flagging spirits of the soldiers and his countrymen and to encourage the soldiers to fight for their country during the Second World War. If he has not repeated these words, his speech would have sounded tame, as in: We shall fight on the beaches, on the landing grounds, in the fields and in streets, in the hills: we shall never surrender. In the second example, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed democracy for the United States. Consider the effect is he said: and that government of, by and for the people shall not perish from the earth.

Exercise B Rewrite the following by varying the order or the type of sentences. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. The ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan. Participants should make sure their entry forms are complete. The crunchy and tasty biscuits were finished in no time at all. We have never attended such a disorganized and chaotic meeting before. The wet and hungry cat came crawling into my house for shelter. All students should assemble in the hall for the national anthem before class. I have never encountered a more shocking display of lack of civic-mindedness. The sharp-tongued and unforgiving woman nagged her husband unceasingly for making a mistake. 9. The pale and frightened girl stood fixed to the ground and stared at the apparition before her. 10. I have never heard such an atrocious argument in my entire life. Exercise C Rewrite the sentences below, using the technique of emphasis for greater impact. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. If we have more workers, we will finish the job faster. If you scratch your skin, it will become redder. She tried to study but she became sleepier. To improve your English, you have to read, write, and speak the language. My husband and I have a unique relationship: he shops, cooks, and throws out the rubbish while I wash the clothes, clean the house, and look after the baby.