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“Boy Toy”
RECORDING SCRIPT
(AN 11 MINUTE SCRIPT)
#116
Written By:
Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel
First Draft:
11/2/00
Second Draft:
11/16/00
Third Draft:
11/27/00
Fourth Draft:
12/1/00
Final Draft:
12/14/00
FADE IN:
1 TIMMY
PULL!
AJ launches a stuffed ALBERT EINSTEIN DOLL into the air. Timmy takes
a bead on it with a sling shot.
ON DOLL
3 AJ
Bye, Albert!
4 CHESTER
This sure was a great idea to destroy our old
stuff, Timmy! Hey! Launch my retainer.
5 AJ
Yeah! Now that we’re ten, we don’t need our
dumb nine-year-old stuff!
6 TIMMY
Hey, let’s launch this!!!
7 CHESTER
But, Timmy...that’s your favorite Crimson Chin
action figure!
8 AJ
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 3
10 TIMMY
But it’s last year’s model. I am so beyond him
and his lame phrases.
Timmy loads the doll into the catapult and is about to launch it when
he hears...
11 TOOTIE (O.S.)
Timmy? Timmy?
12 TIMMY
Oh no!
CHESTER’S POV - He sees TOOTIE: A nine year old girl full of sugar,
spice and everything obsessed with Timmy. She pops out of some
nearby bushes holding a PHOTO of Timmy.
13 CHESTER
It’s Vicky’s little sister, Tootie!
14 TIMMY
Quick! To the anti-girl fortress!
15 TOOTIE
Wait! Wait for me!
CUT TO:
It’s a nice treehouse. Timmy does have magic Godparents. The place
looks like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. Dramatic music builds
throughout the scene. COSMO and WANDA are in the fishbowl nearby.
The guys run in and man their positions. AJ sits at a large COMPUTER
MONITOR, where we see Tootie onscreen.
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 4
16 AJ
Enemy onscreen, Captain.
17 TIMMY
Prepare to fire phasers.
18 CHESTER
Phasers locked, Captain.
19 COSMO
I love when the phasers get locked.
20 TOOTIE (O.S.)
Timmy! Can I come up and play?
21 TIMMY
Fire!!
22 TOOTIE
(crying) Whaaa! I’m so wet, you can’t even see
how much I’m crying! Can I at least come up
and dry off?
23 TIMMY (O.S.)
Fire!
24 TOOTIE
Whaaa!!!
Timmy and the guys poke their heads out of the treehouse.
25 TIMMY
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 5
26 BOY #1 - RALPH
Come on, Art.
27 BOY #2 - ART
Okay, Ralph. Let’s go, Erp.
Erp belches as the three winners slink away. Timmy shuts the window
which has a “No Tootie” SIGN painted on it. (It’s Tootie’s face with
circle and a slash through it.)
28 TOOTIE
(Sadly, to photo of Timmy)
Why won’t you give my love a chance?
Tootie sadly walks away. A final water balloon sails from the treehouse
and explodes where she was standing.
29 CHESTER (O.S.)
Darn it!
CUT TO:
30 WANDA
(disapprovingly)
That’s not funny.
31 COSMO
Now it’s funny.
32 CHESTER
Aw, man! We’re all out balloons!
33 AJ
Let’s get some more, and strap Timmy’s old
Crimson Chin doll to one!
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 6
34 TIMMY
Yeah! We can hit Tootie with a balloon and a
plastic doll!
35 TIMMY
(to doll)
Well... I guess this is goodbye.
Cosmo and Wanda, doll sized, pop in next to the toy. Timmy presses a
BUTTON on the Chin’s back.
37 COSMO
If you used to like it so much why are you going
to destroy it?
38 TIMMY
Because I don’t need this doll anymore! I have
you guys!
(giving doll one last look)
Still, he was pretty cool.
(after a thought)
You know, I wish I could play with him one more
time.
Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and POOF! Timmy is now TOY
SIZED.
39 TIMMY
Hey, I’m toy sized!
41 TIMMY
Wow! You made him alive!
42 COSMO
Sure! Standing next to a lifeless doll would
have been boring!
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 7
43 COSMO
And yet...
The Chin does foot sweep and takes Barbie out of the picture. The
Chin presses a button on his chest.
The doll grabs Timmy and bounces behind a basketball. Cosmo and
Wanda freeze, looking just like dolls. A wet Tootie enters.
45 TOOTIE
Timmy? Where are you?
Tootie sees the doll-sized Cosmo and Wanda and picks them up.
46 TOOTIE
Neat! Fairy dolls! I can add Timmy’s dolls to
my Timmy love shrine!
47 COSMO
Maybe if you took us to your house, Timmy
would follow you and try to get us back!
(off Wanda’s glare)
What? Can’t I have an action phrase?
48 TOOTIE
That’s a great idea!
ON TIMMY AND CHIN DOLL behind the BASKETBALL. The Crimson Chin
doll crouches, pressing his “talk” button and makes a muscle.
The Chin doll leaps after Tootie and sails through a tree house window.
Timmy, still doll sized, freaks out.
50 TIMMY
Oh no! I’m stuck Toy Sized and my Godparents
are being taken to Vicky’s house! There’s only
one thing to do!
50A TIMMY
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 8
(gasps)
Timmy balls up into a fetal position, and sucks his thumb. Chester and
AJ return. Timmy <<GASPS>> and freezes, like a toy, thumb still in
mouth.
51 CHESTER
Wow! A Timmy Turner Action figure! With
Thumb sucking action!
52 AJ
And look! He’s got kung fu overbite!
53 AJ
Ow! What should we do with it?
54 CHESTER
Well, it is an uncanny likeness of our best
friend. (beat) Let’s launch him into Mrs.
O’Leary’s yard!!!
55 AJ
You mean the lady with the pet bees? We can’t
do that!
Chester loads Timmy into the slingshot. AJ pulls out a HONEY POT and
slathers Timmy with honey.
56 AJ
Now we can do it!
57 TIMMY
AAAAAAAAA!!!!
58 CHESTER
Hey, it screams like a baby, just like Timmy!
CUT TO:
ON TIMMY’S FACE
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 9
59 TIMMY
AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
CUT TO:
60 TOOTIE (OS)
Now I have two of Timmy’s dolls to add to my
Timmy collection!
Pull back to see Tootie, still holding Cosmo and Wanda as dolls. Her
room is a veritable shrine to Timmy. TIMMY PHOTOS, CALENDARS,
DRAWINGS, and other inappropriate Timmy PERSONAL BELONGINGS:
Underwear, socks, etc.
61 WANDA
(looking around; to Cosmo)
Wow. She really has a thing for Timmy!
62 COSMO
(to Wanda)
Well, sure! He’s the bomb!
(beat)
I read that in a teen magazine!
63 TOOTIE
Let’s play Timmy and Tootie in their jungle
home!
Tootie pulls out a DOLL HOUSE that looks exactly like Timmy’s tree
house.
64 TOOTIE
(to Wanda) You’re me!
(to Cosmo) And you’re Timmy!
65 COSMO
Cool! I’m the bomb!
66 TOOTIE
MWAH! MWAH! I LOVE YOU TOOTIE! MWAH!
MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH!
67 COSMO
Hey! I like this game!
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 10
CUT TO:
68 TIMMY
AAAAA! I’m dead!
The Crimson Chin doll bounces off a TREE BRANCH, hurls himself
through the air, grabs Timmy and pulls him through a picket FENCE,
safely away from the bees.
70 TIMMY
Thanks, Crimson Chin doll! You totally saved
me! I wonder why I got so bored with you?
72 TIMMY
Now I remember... your action phrases stink!
74 TIMMY
Whatever. Come on! We gotta rescue Cosmo
and Wanda!
CUT TO:
75 TOOTIE
MWAH! MWAH! I LOVE YOU TOOTIE!
(pulling Cosmo From Wanda)
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 11
76 WANDA
This doesn’t seem like a lot of fun. Maybe
Timmy should try to play nicer with Tootie.
77 COSMO
Are you nuts? I’m having a blast! And look
how clean you’re getting!
THE CAMERA PANS AWAY from Tootie’s window, down to VICKY who
stands in the backyard.
78 VICKY
Well, time to do my chores!
79 VICKY
You trim my hedges, and you cut my lawn!
80 KID #1
But these are YOUR chores!
81 VICKY
And these are high definition photos of you two
sneaking into an “R” rated movie!
(pointing to lawn equipment)
Aaaaaaaaand... action!
The kids instantly start working. Vicky sits down and picks up a
LEMONADE.
82 VICKY
Whew! All this blackmailing is making me
thirsty!
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 12
82A TOOTIE
(giggling)
83 VICKY
My dorky, little sister is laughing when she
should be down here doing my - I mean her -
chores! I’ll fix that!
CUT TO:
Timmy and the Chin doll “peer through” some overgrown WEEDS.
They watch Vicky enter the house. The kids with lawn equipment
begin doing “their” chores.
84 TIMMY
Quick! While she’s distracted! We’ve gotta get
into that house!
86 TIMMY
Just stay low...
Suddenly the ground shakes. Timmy and the Chin look OS.
TIMMY’S POV - One of the kids is pushing the now gigantic LAWN
MOWER towards them.
87 TIMMY
Oh no! Run!
Timmy turns to run and trips over Chester’s retainer, launched earlier.
88 TIMMY
OOOF! Hey! That’s Chester’s retainer!
89 TIMMY
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 13
91 TIMMY
(sarcastic) Oh, that’s helpful.
The doll grabs the retainer and throws it into the whirling BLADES of
the lawn mower.
The lawn mower shakes, then explodes all over the ten year old kid.
ON TIMMY and the CHIN as lawn mower parts rain down around them.
The Chin doll kicks and punches the falling parts away from Timmy so
he doesn’t get hit.
94 TIMMY
Good thinking, Crimson Chin!
96 TIMMY
Man... You’re a cooler doll than I thought!
Come on, pal, let’s go!
MONTAGE
* One of the kids waters the lawn with a hose. Timmy and the Chin
must dodge the gigantic “WATER BOMBS” that explode around them.
* Timmy, holding the Crimson Chin doll like a lance, fends off a giant
BUMBLE BEE.
* Timmy sees a piece of CHEESE. Licks his chops and picks it up. The
Chin hurtles into scene, stopping a gigantic MOUSE TRAP from
snapping Timmy in two.
The Chin doll hops out of the trap as it snaps closed behind him.
Timmy eats the cheese.
98 TIMMY
Man, this is great! Together, nothing can stop
us!
99 DOIDLE (OS.)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
101 TIMMY
Ah! It’s Vicky’s dog!
Doidle CHOMPS DOWN on the Chin doll, picks it up, and runs into the
house through a DOG DOOR.
CUT TO:
102 TOOTIE
Do you, Timmy, take you, Tootie, to be your
lawfully wedded wife?
Vicky’s hand reaches in and grabs the Cosmo and Wanda “dolls.”
104 VICKY
What’s this? Two new toys? Guess who they
get to meet?
105 TOOTIE
Not Mister Hammer!
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 15
107 VICKY
Yes! Mister Hammer! And his friend, Mrs. Saw!
Vicky pulls out a SAW. Cosmo greets the objects of their destruction.
108 COSMO
Hi Mrs. Saw! I’m Cosmo and this is Wanda!
(off Wanda’s glare)
Don’t you want to be a good host?
109 TOOTIE
No! Those are Timmy’s dolls!
110 VICKY
Oh, that changes everything!
111 COSMO
Hey! Mr. Fire! Have you met, Wanda?
CUT TO:
Timmy jumps through the dog door and lands in the kitchen. He looks
OS. and sees:
ON TIMMY
112 TIMMY
Oh no! He’s being torn apart!
Timmy looks up and sees Vicky’s lemonade glass atop a nearby end
TABLE. Timmy looks and sees another MOUSE TRAP. He stands on the
deadly part and, using his hat, knocks the cheese off the bait switch.
The trap springs, hurling Timmy onto the table, next to the lemonade
glass.
113 TIMMY
Chew on your butt, not my friend!
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 16
CUT TO:
Vicky is holding Tootie at bay with one foot, while she takes a bead on
Cosmo and Wanda with the torch. We hear the glass <<SHATTER>>
OS.
114 VICKY
What was that?!?!
CUT TO:
Vicky, still holding Cosmo and Wanda, enters and sees Doidle
surrounded by a YELLOW PUDDLE.
115 VICKY
Bad dog! You know you’re only supposed to do
that outside, or at Timmy’s house!
Doidle runs OS. Vicky follows. Vicky drops Cosmo and Wanda as
Timmy runs up to the now chewed up Chin doll.
116 TIMMY
Chin! Chin! Speak to me!
118 TIMMY
Chin... I’m sorry I got you into this mess! I
promise... I’ll never let anything hurt you again.
The Cosmo and Wanda dolls poof next to the Timmy doll.
121 TIMMY
Cosmo! Wanda! I wish I was normal sized!
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 17
POOF! Timmy becomes his normal size. Cosmo and Wanda remain at
their doll sized height.
122 COSMO
Come on, Timmy! Lets get you and your stupid
doll and get out of here!
123 TIMMY
He’s not stupid! He’s my friend and he cares
about me! And I should have treated him
better.
Tootie enters. Timmy freezes against a wall, still out of her view.
124 TOOTIE
NO! Vicky’s stolen Timmy’s dolls! Now he’ll
never come over! And he’ll never like me! Why
doesn’t he like me?
125 WANDA
(looking at Tootie)
Maybe he’s not the only one you should treat
better.
126 COSMO
You know, she might be creepy, but she does
have to put up with Vicky more than you do.
127 TIMMY
Yeah, you’re right. Vicky LIVES here! I guess
when she’s not torturing me at my house...
she’s torturing Tootie here. That’s gotta be the
worst.
128 TIMMY
Uh... hi, Tootie.
129 TOOTIE
Timmy! Hi! I...
(gets mad)
Wait! You’re only here to take back your stupid
dolls and then hit me with another water
balloon!!
130 TIMMY
(reaching for the words)
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 18
132 TIMMY
Right. And I’m not interested in girls! And I
won’t be until...
134 TOOTIE
Then... there’s hope! There’s hope!
135 TIMMY
Ugh. I know I’m going to regret this but...
(whispered to Cosmo and Wanda)
I should do something nice for her, to make up,
you know? She’s not mean, she’s just a girl.
It’s not her fault.
The Chin Doll stands heroically on his twisted broken legs and pushes
his own button.
137 TIMMY
Wow. That was an oddly specific action phrase.
138 TIMMY
(to doll)
I’m gonna miss you, pal.
140 TIMMY
Tootie, I want you to have this. More
importantly, I want you to have this and never,
ever, follow me home again.
The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01 19
141 TOOTIE
Oh, Timmy! This is the best gift ever!
142 TIMMY
I know I’m gonna regret this.
144 TIMMY
Evil sister! Gotta go! Bye!
Timmy runs out the door carrying Cosmo and Wanda, as Vicky enters
the Kitchen through another entrance. Vicky sees the Crimson Chin
doll in Tootie’s hand.
145 VICKY
Another toy? Wow, when it rains, it melts!
146 TOOTIE
No! NO!!!
Vicky pulls out the welding torch. Through a window, Timmy observes.
147 TIMMY
(to Cosmo and Wanda)
I wish the Chin doll was indestructible and had
12,000 “I hate Vicky” action phrases!
ON VICKY, holding the Chin doll with tongs and blasting it with the
flame thrower to no affect.
148A TOOTIE
(laughs)
149 VICKY
He won’t melt!
150A TOOTIE
(laughing)
151 VICKY
Why won’t this stupid toy break?!?
153 TIMMY
I wish we were back at the treehouse!
153A TOOTIE
(continues laughing)
DISSOLVE TO:
154 COSMO
Timmy’s got a girlfriend! Timmy’s got a...
155 WANDA
(elbows Cosmo, then:)
That was really sweet of you, Timmy!
156 TIMMY
Yeah, well... As long as Chester and AJ don’t
ever find out about me being nice to a girl, I’m
safe...
158 AJ (OS)
Look who’s here!
Timmy! Timmy!
160 TOOTIE
Look! This doll is you, and this one’s me!
161 TOOTIE
MWAH! MWAH MWAH! I love you Timmy!
MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH! I love you
too, Tootie! MWAH! MWAH MWAH!
162 TIMMY
Well, at least it can’t get any worse than this...
Timmy looks out the window and... BAM! A gigantic WATER BALLOON
slams into Timmy, soaking him.
164 TIMMY
You know what? Love stinks.
165 COSMO
And it’s wet, too!
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF EPISODE