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100% Purity Its hard to remember, sometimes, that I dont belong here, especially when Anne sits next

to me and offers me candy bars and cream-filled crackers or when Olivia tugs me along with her when she goes shopping. When were looking at the full-figured

mannequins in the window displays and shes piling shirts and dresses and frilly skirts into my arms I can forget, for a moment, my home isnt here. Late one summer evening, I came home and waved to the car lurking in the street behind me. Olivia honked once and drove

away, her white car standing out against the grayness of twilight. I watched her go and unlocked the door, went inside

and saw the corpses, and that was when everything good that day vanished. The door swung slowly shut behind me. I knelt by the body

nearest me, arranged with its hands folded across its chest, its eyes closed. face. My finger traced the sigils on the crisp white death clothes, flowing in lines like cracks of ice across the robes. Seventy-four, burned in a fire. ignored it. And more after that, but I I didnt know who it was. I didnt look at the

Instead, I laid my head over the corpses no-longer My fingers found their way to the rough cloth Of course.

beating heart.

covering the jugular, but there was nothing.

Taking my fingers off the neck, I found that specialmental organ, I suppose it could be calledplaced my fingers on the thick artery in the neck, and drew it out. thickly, mud-like in its consistency. saw it. When I was finished with the first, I counted. three, fourthere were seven corpses. One, two, It came slowly and

At least, thats how I

More bodies than usual.

I wondered, numbly, if things back home had gotten worse. Maybe. As I contemplated them, the corpses seemed to stir. Startled, I looked at them more closely, but they were frozen in death. I waited, and they still didnt move. Reluctantly,

because I knew it was true, I told myself that my only way to get back home lay in them. bodies. They were my future. Nothing else. # Thinking back to the beginning, I almost cant remember how it all started. born. Certainly it began long agobefore I was even No one thought Shakily, I walked back to the

It was something small, at first.

anything of it.

Dont the bad things always begin like that?

I wasnt aware of it myselfa year after I was born, there were rumors, but I didnt hear anything about them, being too young. Until the little thing had spread. An illness that no

one knew how was begun, or how it was spread, but it still didnt seem too serious. Nothing like an epidemic. But in

later years, my parents grew to know that I was different, very different, and everything Id been sheltered from hit me all at once; the result was, I was sent here, hardly even matured from being a child, to become a savior. And a necromancer. Now there were

I finished my work quickly and mechanically.

seven flasks in front of me; inside each was something neither real nor unreal. A different color, all seven; but they are

hard to describeif I called the first crimson, it may very well have been so, yet it was also the color of sunset over clouds and a red as rich as velvet tapestries; royal blue and the delicate white of carnation petalsand this only one flask. An essence, I might call it: no flask was ever the same. essence of humanity; of course

The seven corpses would be taken The flasks

away, tonight, while I was sleepingor trying to.

would vanish with them; tomorrow night, thered be more bodies, more flasks. When would they run out of bodies? When they didI could go home. The thought both enticed and depressed. to bed and fell asleep. Not thinking. Tiredly, I went up

Hoping not to dream.

My wishes never come true, and I did anyway. There was a doll in my dream, with an ever-smiling, plastic

face, in a long dress the color of the death-clothes, hands reached out to me. Even as I watched, the doll dipped her hands

in flasksseven flasks, I saw, each a different color, neither real nor unreal. And when she lifted her hands, they were

covered as though shed dipped them in paint, but the essences dripped from her hands like blood. # In the morning, it was warm, and the sky was brightly mellow. The corpses, of course, were gone. No doubt my people

had come in the night, like they came every night, in their sterile bubbles and their way home. never saw them. I never heard them. I

They might as well not have existed.

The bodies might as well have never existed. I ate my breakfast and assiduously did not think, but for the first time I felt lonely. And scared. Nothing here could

possibly hurt me, I knew (how well I knew it), except for myself, my own consciousness. What would happen as this: sick, very sick. And that was just it. someone would suddenly become

The symptoms variedit could be a cold that

lingered and kept the victim with a runny nose and hacking cough for weeks, a fever that burned their skin and left them almost or fullydelirious in bed, pain like bruises across every inch of the body. all. Some people didnt show any signs of sickness at

Those were always the worst cases.

But theyd get better. insane. kind.

And when they did, they turned

Different types of madness, but it was of the worst It was as though theyd been possessed by demons. It always ended in a Doctors didnt know. Was As

though they no longer saw our world. horrible, protracted, hellish death. it one illness, or several?

They also had no idea of what to do; there seemed to be no cause or origin for the disease. At first, only very few people

contracted it; these people, for whatever reason, managed to pass it on very quickly, and as no one realized the madnesseffect until too late (its always too late), things grew out of control. I was born, and as I grew, I found that I could touch things others could not; it was not the usual psychic ability (yes, my people are psychic: is it no wonder the madness-effect was so

devastating?) Things passed by me and I felt themharsh or soft, this one tasting of sorrow, that one burdened with anger. knew what they signified. Newly engaged. A murderer. Shes a widow. And I

I was always right.

But besides that, I found outaccidentallythat I could capture these fleeting things; the first time I did so, the person died. My parents realized itthe essence I had caught

escaped me, flew right into a young man passing us on the street. He went into a state of catatonia, but he woke four

days latercured.

We had not known it, but hed been infected.

It was after that I was sent here. # There was a boy, of course. He had pale skin and hair bleached white-blonde and liked black clothes and metal accessories. When I passed him, his essence was purple and

green, mixed with sparse gold. I gave him the name Rue, for everything back home, and called him that in my mind. to him. I saw him rarely, and I never spoke He seemed a little older

Anne and Olivia knew nothing.

than me, perhaps by a year or two; his smile was fleeting and white. Knowing who I am, what I am, of course there were no future. But one night, I had another dream. He came to me with his

hands held out (like the dollbut I didnt think of that) and in them was something colorful. I give you my heart, he said. I reached out my hand, and touched somethingit was purple and green and gold. collapsed. He smiled as though he were haunted, and

Before I could run to him, my mother came before me.

Quick! she cried, we need that! Give it to me. But its his! I said. So? My mother passed out of my sight, weeping, and ghosts

appeared around me.

If thats his, give us back ours, they moaned to me. I cant, I said spreading my hands helplessly. sorry. Rues unmoving form was behind me. Im so

I turned to it, and

the ghosts fell upon me. # Two days after my hideous dream, I received a communication, of sorts, from my mother. Her face appeared in midair, it I was so

seemed, but in reality, it was only in my mind. startled I dropped my glass of water.

Good afternoon, daughter, she said to me formally, if pensively. I bowed, as is the custom back home. What is going on at home? Itd been so long What if I, No oneno

Mother.

since Id spoken with her Unsafe, it was deemed. their hope, managed to fall victim to the disease? one has Dont worry, daughter. mother smiled.

No one in our family is ill.

My

Yesterday you sent the last flask; everyone,

now, is curedor being cured. It took a moment to sink in. I was shocked. There had been For a few

no preamble or lead-up to it, no hint whatsoever. moments I couldnt speak.

Finally I managed to croak out,

Have...really? But...it doesnt It does not seem like a long time to you? another smile, warm and gentle. You poor thing. She gave me You have

sacrificed so much. have cured us.

But listen.

The last flask, daughter.

You

It is enough.

Come home. I couldnt believe it ever after my mothers face faded, her voice echoing as she went. I doubted myself. Perhaps I had, Butno

despite all precautions, managed to get sick after all? bodies came that night. #

Early the next afternoon, Olivia and I were walking down a busy street, passing the now-familiar bookstore, movie theater, shopsand finally reaching the caf, where wed be meeting Anne. As I went to get the door, I glanced back behind me for a moment. There had been a person there, down the street. I

thought I could feel an essence that meantsickness? turned my head back, the person collapsed. No!I hadnt taken her essencebut

As I

Abandoning the cafe, ignoring Olivias call of Wait, what are you doing?, I rushed over to the fallen person. was itmy mother? stopped short. There was no one there. But Id seen it. Id seen the personmother?fall. That face

Reaching the place where shed collapsed, I

But there was nobody. Olivia caught up to me. What are you doing? she demanded.

Wasnt there a person here? I said slowly. Theres lots of people here, Olivia said. Who?

A lot of people? And now I saw them, where before I had thought the street was deserted. I thought I saw somebody collapse, I muttered. pulled at my sleeve, and I followed her. I didnt see anything, she said. where Anne was waiting at the front. Hi, she said. What took so long? I didnt feel like going into We went into the cafe, Olivia

Its a long story, I said. it.

Olivia asked me, What did you say? I was talking to I stopped. Shes coming now. Anne?

Olivia pointed through the clear door

where Anne was coming up the sidewalk. Oh, I said. to believe it. A few evenings later, there were bodies on the floor again. And flasks. Strangely enough, they werent wearing deathI was just talking to myself. And I tried

clothes, only the simple everyday outfits anyone might wear. But Id thought that Mother had said I didnt need to do this anymore. Still, the bodies were here for a reason. I knelt by the I felt

nearest one, trying not to look at the uncovered face.

the white and blue pulsing up my fingers as I placed my hand on

the chest, then on the neck. The corpse seemed to twitch. Startled, I froze, but it

didnt move again, even though I waited. Finally I let the white and blue gather itself into me, but when I felt itfelt the essence of this bodyit was as though I was being poisoned. I shivered and examined the corpse again. I quickly put the essence into

The bodyof course it was dead.

a flask, the one nearest to me, and sighed. Looking back at the bodies, I saw Annes face open in a silent, unending scream. I blinked, and her face was gone. Blink. My mothers

Another blink, and Olivias face was ashen.

body, hands reaching out to me, even in death. and Rues face stared at me in accusation.

One more blink,

I closed my eyes, backed away from the bodies, and felt my way to the bed in the next room. curled up. That night, I didnt touch any more bodies. # My mother reached me again another evening. sounded, impatient. When are you coming home? she asked me. waiting for you. Mother, I said, last night I found It doesnt matter what you found, she said, cutting me Were all She looked, and I flung myself onto it and

short.

Just come home. Soon. Are you making all the

I will, I promised. arrangements?

Just tell me when, she said even more impatiently. week from now? Two weeks? A week until I could go home?

I was disbelieving. week?

Only a

What about the bodies Id found?

But Mother wouldnt

listen when I asked. After she left me, I finally realized it. Really leave. It seemed a dream. At last, one of my wishes was coming true. I walked outside my house and breathed in deeply. This I could leave.

world looked like spun glass, fragile, delicate, with an ochretinted sky above the earthiness of asphalt roads and concrete. Taking a look around me, I saw...Rue... He didnt see me, of course. His back faced me, a fading He looked like a myth. I turned my eyes

sun making motes of light in his hair.

I opened by mouth, but it closed by itself.

away, quickly. When I dared turn them in his direction again, he was gone, as though hed never been. thought made me shiver. For some reason, that

I stayed where I was, not wanting to go

back insidewhere, perhaps, reality awaited. #

When I finally went back inside, my mother contacted me again. I was tired, and strangely irritated with her, feeling

reluctant to speak and greet her. Hello, Mother, I said slowly. Daughter, she returned, but I could hear her voice was pensive and worried. I looked up. Can I not come home after all? I

Is something wrong? asked her.

My mother looked at me with an expression I didnt want to read. I waited, primly clasping my hands in a semblance of Mother frowned at me, but checked herself before it

demureness.

could turn into a glower. Im afraid you cant come home, she said. Why not? I asked, sounding surprised, even though Id half-expected it. Mother paused. Your cures here... No more needed?

Ive sent them all, right?

One more, she said reluctantly. Then send another body, I said easily, but I felt my own reluctance steal over me, thinking back over my dreams, and the screaming faces. I cant, my mother said after a pause. Or, we cant. After a while,

This time I didnt bother answering, but waited. my mother looked at me.

I turned my head away from her eyes

eyes that seemed like they wanted me to understand something she didnt want to say. Youve been taking these...essences... like it was dirty. She said the word

I felt cold inside, almost as though I knew ...without knowing what the

what she was going to say next.

consequences were, or what the things themselves were, really. She shook her head in what seemed to be frustration. a pause. A pregnant pause, some might have called it. There was

The point is...cant you see....we cant let you come home, she told me all in a rush. infected. I blinked at her. Youre sick. come home. Why cant I come home? Why cant I cure myself? Its not right. Infected? We cant let you Because youyoure

Youre the last sick one.

My mother bit her lip and stared at me. Understand?

Were...desecrating these corpses.

You had no problem with it before, I pointed out, but I didnt say it angrily. I felt empty and cold, and my emotions

were as sluggish as the mudlike the ooze of an essence. Mother winced. cant help it. only way. Cant you understand? she pleaded. We

We couldnt do anything before.

You were the

And now

Now Im expendable? I said dully.

Dont think of it like that Are you even sorry, Mother? Of course I am, but You dont sound like it, I said ruthlessly. like youre relieved. How can you say that? looked guilty. My mother didnt look sad, she You sound Are you really?

That hurt me, a little, like the stab of a dull

knife when there are so many wounds already that one more doesn't make a difference. difference. relieved. Or perhaps it does make a Of course Im not

The one between life and death.

Ill miss you so much, were all so grateful You dont need my help anymore. Because Im the last one. Whatever Now you can

I helped you. afford to be moral.

Its wrong to steal away these bodiesremnants! youre stealing from them.

We didnt...we didnt realize how

wrong it was until now, my mother pleaded. Just in time to stop me from curing myself, I said acidly. How convenient. Even if I did find a dead body and cured If I did, you would all ostracize

myself, I couldnt go home. me.

My mother looked at me with horrified eyes. say that?

How can you

Dontyoure notyoure not thinking of?

Face it, Mother, youre scared of me, and you dont want me. No one wants me. Ive served my purpose. You wont even

call me by my name anymore, I said relentlessly. you something. Was I ever even going to come home?

Let me ask Or was this

all planned out beforethat I would only be kept until my usefulness was over? My mother swallowed hard, opened her mouth, stared wordlessly at me, then soundlessly closed the connection. I was left there by myself. My thoughts ran in circles in

my head, and I felt tired, so so tiredto the point of exhaustion If that wasnt my mother, and was merely a hallucination, I was insane. If it was my mother, all the worse. She didnt

want me and I was insane.

And of course, even without her To help others, maybe.

protests, I couldnt have helped myself.

But lately, I couldnt go near those bodies and those essences. What was left for me? I couldnt think. I couldnt move. I was paralyzed.

Mechanically, I went to my bed and lay down, neatly, on my back, closed my eyes, and folded my hands across my chest. corpse. Olivia. dead. Behind my eyelids familiar faces flashed. Like a Anne.

And Rue, waiting for me like a dream for when I was

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