Shalom Wenceslao 4th year, BS ECE

SPEECH AND ORAL COMMUNICATION

Dr. Delia Gagto 20 December 2011

I say NO. Do you have difficulty saying no? Are you always trying to be nice to others at the expense of yourself? Do you always say yes to anyone who asks you to do him or her a favor? If you nodded yes in these questions, you strive to please people. Saying no is very hard for people with low esteem, but we have to say no. This is what my topic is all about, understanding why people pleasers dont say no and why do they need to say no. People pleasers never say no regardless of the situation or circumstance. They will gladly accept or do what youre asking because they are afraid that the person wont like them if they refuse. People pleasers feel an extraordinary fear of rejection. I read an article that a woman feels she was the one being whispered about, or laugh at, anytime and anywhere. She was paranoid to what others might think of her that she spent excessive amounts of time worrying and being angry at herself. People pleasers dont suggest their opinions when asked, they keep it to themselves and let others suggest first before giving a suggestion, which in most cases, they just agree or copy what was already suggested. They imitating what has been out in the open and accepted by the society. They will suggest anything thats been suggested already. They do this because they have the assurance that people wont reject her idea or her herself. Pleasing people is usually developed in their childhood. When parents award them by obeying what the children have been asked, without their own assertion. Because of it,

they feel the need to ask reassurance or validation from others, and that they wont be loves if they dont agree to the demands of others. Our nature is to be helpful and to accommodate our love ones with their needs as long as we can do it. But its harmful if we let their needs and happiness comes first before ours. People pleasers are basically afraid of rejection, of being unwanted, and of being unloved. Because of this fear, they mimic others just to fit in. These people are so full of this fear that it eats their happiness, their relationship with others, and their life. They cant enjoy themselves, because they dont let themselves. They dont love themselves, because they dont feel valuable without doing something first for a person. The lesson here, you should love yourself. Not hate it or love it too much. In anything, moderation is always the best. Too much and too low in anything could be harmful. Love yourself. Be yourself. Please all, and you will please none.