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Friday 14/3/2008 10 A.M

A Passage to India or to Hinduism?

After I got all my grades last semester and relaxed a bit, I start looking for

what I should read for the Modern Literature class. A Passage to India by

Forester was not a disappointment. It was not difficult to read or to

comprehend. It was related to what is going on right now in the Middle East.

So here is something we already know: history repeats itself. I have enjoyed

reading each page of this novel. The characters are realistic except for Mrs.

Moore. This woman annoyed me through the second part to the third part,

although she was not alive there in the latter. Adela is my favorite character

of the novel. Aziz was painfully realistic and also Fielding. Aziz was not a very

good example of a good young Muslim man. Nonetheless, Forster’s portrait

of Aziz didn’t bother me as much as his portrait of Godbole. After I finished

reading the book I reread the last part of the novel. I got a feeling that

Forster believes that the perfect religion for the Indians is Hinduism. There

was more than one clue to me that proved this. First, Mrs. Moore is obviously

affected by this religion in one way or another. Her talking to the wasp and

the vision Godbole, who is a Hindu, had of her at the temple part. Second,

her children: her Son Ralph and daughter Stella are also interested in

Hinduism. Third, the second part of the novel has the Muslim’s celebration of

Muharam. It was not celebrated in peace; there were riots because of Aziz’s
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trail. How come the Hindu festival was a great, beautiful, peaceful one?! I

can see and feel myself being childish and ethnocentric right now as I am

typing, but I cannot help how I feel.

Thursday 18/3/2008 10 A.M

Sea

I don’t like sea. I don’t like the idea of being near a sea. So reading almost

120 pages of a story about an old man on a boat, fishing for days, talking to

himself like a nut, was not my cup of tea. Last semester I studied Robinson

Crusoe and I have read it four times. No wonder I am sick of the sea. The Old

Man and the Sea was not a treat either. The reason I kept on reading though

my eyes were half closed and my brain was half shut is not because it was a

required text. Actually the reason is that I am interested in Hemingway’s

work. Although he won a Nobel Prize for this novel, nevertheless, it didn’t do

it for me. On the other hand reading is rewarding; I got to learn about fishing

and fishermen. It is not that I like fishing or I want to be a fisherwoman-Allah

forbids-but it gave me a new perspective and made me respect this job. Life

is tough and complicated and some people are taking it easy. A disaster in

life means “I didn’t get a good grade,” or “I don’t know what to wear,” or “I

need a new mobile although my current one works just fine.” We really are

pathetic. I will say “have some perspectives for Allah’s sake.” The minute I

feel bad about or for me all I have to do is remembering this old man’s
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boring endless stinking days at the sea, and I will be fine. Beside this positive

side from this novella, I don’t know why anyone would read anything with a

sea as a subject. What is so fascinating about it? I will not read it or Robinson

Crusoe again and I definitely will not watch Jaws again.

Thursday 29/3/2008 11 P.M

A really Absurd Play

The Absurd Theatre was introduced to me through Edward Albee’s The Zoo

Story in Drama class a year a half ago. So, when I read the play Waiting for

Godot for the first time I was surprised by my reaction to it. I was reading it

and watching the movie version of it at the same time. I was shocked by and

scared of Estragon and Vladimir. They are old, physically sick, confused, lost,

pathetic, helpless, homeless and troubled. And, then Lucky came with his

nerve wrecking speech. When I first saw him and saw how Pozzo treated him;

I felt sorry for him to the point where I cried. However, after his speech I got

mixed feelings that I cannot express. At the end I got depressed and went to

bed thinking that I would have some peace sleeping; instead I had

nightmares about Estragon and Vladimir. Waking up the next day I searched

the net for information about Samuel Beckett, the playwright of Waiting for

Godot. And what a surprise! He is as scary looking as his play. However,

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reading about him and taking a look at his plays like Breath, I found him a

pretty interesting playwright. He is not happy with how human acts and

behave in the 20th century. And he is not the least bit nice about how he

express his views and emotions. I saw throughout his plays that he is

actually communicating his anger and disappointments of the human beings.

I knew that I liked this play. I knew there was something to it. Otherwise it

would not have gotten into me the way it did, if it wasn’t something.

However, after attending the class I found myself not just getting a good

grasp at these kinds of plays, but I found myself adores these two characters

of Waiting for Godot: Vladimir and Estragon. Perhaps I am deeply affected by

the performance of the great two actors: Barry McGovern who played Vladimir

and Johnny Murphy who played Estragon, but I cannot help it. When I think of

them I have a smile on my face; I am not scared of them anymore. Actually

when I am not laughing at them I feel sorry for them. I feel that they need

someone to take care of them. May be Godot can help.

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Thursday 3/4/2008 A.M

Sailing to Absurdiam

After taking Waiting for Godot class which I enjoyed, we took the poetry class

starting with Yeats’ poem “Sailing to Byzantium.” I never got poetry. I can

honestly say that I am not gifted when it comes to poetry. However, I enjoy it

when it’s being discussed, and Mr. Yeats poetry is no piece of cake. This

poem in particular was a difficult one; it went way beyond my imaginations.

Perhaps because I really am not into the Immortality thing which some

people are obsessed about. I believe we are here on Earth to worship Allah,

that we are being tested every day by Him and after death and the Judgment

Day, Immortality comes. Although in class we were discussing “Sailing to

Byzantium” I could not help but thinking about Waiting for Godot becauseto

me the former is absurd not the later. When I told this to my friend - who was

sitting right next to me in class- her reaction was something like “come on,
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Nada, give it a rest.” Nevertheless, this is what I thought of this poem.

However, after I got home, I read the poem again and I realized something:

the poet is not happy with his life; he believes that he can do more, and he

has more in him to life than the young. He envies them because they have

the time that he does not. That is what bothering the poet. Even if he has

more time; his body is still giving out. This made me appreciate Yeats’ poem.

There is a message to the young through his poem. He made me realize how

lucky and blessed I am. Now I understand the quote of Oscar Wilde that I

read on the back cover of a-ha’s album Lifeline: the youth is wasted on the

young.

Sunday 6/4/2008 1 P.M

I knew them

I am a big fan of Gary Oldman and the movie where he played Rosencrantz

was a great and funny one. When I watched the movie again I instantly

remembered Vladimir and Estragon. Authors have been creating couples that

represent a whole person a long time ago. Not only Rosencrantz and

Guildenstern remind me of them. There is a Kuwaiti series, Wa Ala Alduniyah

Alsalaam; there are two female characters that are just like Vladimir and
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Estragon when it comes to depending on each other. It is so funny. It was

even funnier when I remembered the unforgettable funny cartoons

characters, Laurel and Hardy. Those two and the other two even dress alike;

same boots same bowler.

Thursday 22/5/2008 6 A.M

A Rose for whom!

After I read A Rose for Emily I was like “why would anyone present a rose for

this woman?” Why this title is it because of the description of the room-

which should be called a tomb- where the dead body was found. I think what

she really deserves is a free of charge therapy. I know that her father was a
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very strict, tough man but that is no excuse for her corrupted mind. Oh when

Faulkner describes her, it makes me want to vomit. And I don’t know why I

don’t feel sorry for Homer, the victim. Perhaps this is what the author wants

the reader to feel. He wants us to see the big picture behind the crime. This

woman has slept for forty years with a dead body. When men make fun of

women and say that women sometime get really desperate, they are correct.

How much more desperate a women can get? I have to say that Faulkner has

a talent in telling the story; how he begun with the funeral and went back to

different periodsof her life then got back to the time after she got buried.

Other than that, I really loathe this Emily.

Sunday 25/5/2008 7 A.M

Nowhere to run
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I am serious; there is nowhere to run. When used to get upset as a child, all I

have to do is read a story or watch T.V and I would forget what was bothering

me. When I was a teenager I used – actually still – to watch sitcoms and that

too would cheer me right up. Now there is nowhere to run from reality. I know

running is not the solution and that we have to face the facts and what had

become of the world but sometimes we just need a break. Even Harry Potter-

the series that I love- I cannot read it without crying and I mean real crying

with tears, swollen eyes and a red nose. To this day I wonder why did Rowling

kill so many good characters? Right now I am reading The Animal Farm; and I

am not yet through half of it and I already am shocked. At first I thought it

was funny; animal getting together talking, reading and having OPINIONS. It

was okay until one of the animals killed a human. I know it is an allegorical

story, but enough with the violence. I am starting to think seriously about

buying the complete DVDs of Tom & Jerry……………. Oh wait that has

violence too. Seriously there is nowhere to run. “It’s awful” yes I hear you,

Estragon.
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Thursday 28/5/2008 11 A.M

Is it children or parents or society?

I have read Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller and Long Day’s Journey into

the Night by Eugene O’Neill, and come to think about them lately they are

concerning parents who got disappointed in their children. About children

who failed their parents. But, whose fault is it? The parents’ or the children’s?

Also, The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams fits here. Should parents

have high hopes and standards for their children? Do children, we, have to

reach for these hopes and standards? After I read The Death of a Salesman I

immediately thought of my father and how he is proud of us and how I don’t

want to let him down. I think I have to reach to my parents expectations,

they have done a lot for me; it is my duty to them. However, I think the

failure of these children is their parents. In the case of Biff and Willy I think it

is Willy’s fault because he never acknowledges the true potentials of Biff.

And does not teach him right from wrong. That is why Biff is the way he is.

And perhaps if Willy acknowledges that from the beginning, Willy would have

had hope. In case of Jamie and his parents in Long Day’s Journey into the

Night ,what chance of a normal life did Jamie had with this kind of family. His

mother is a sick and alcoholic and his father is so cheap that he is the reason

the mother got sick. I mean really!! Did he have a chance!! In The Glass

Menagerie it’s their absent father fault. A normal family needs a mommy and

a daddy not a mommy and a daddy who bailed out on them. Like father like

son; Tom at the end did as his father. I cannot blame the society here.
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Everything starts with the individual not with the group of people. Allah said

it in The Quran. Our situations will not change until we change.

Friday 30/5/2008 10.30 A.M

Arms and the Man

Arms and the Man by Shaw is amazing. I finished reading the play in half an

hour. It was fun fast read. It has it all; comedy; love; poor people; rich people;

clever maid and a happy ending. When I first opened the book it was a

random page I got. This is the line I read which I will never forget: “I quite

agree with you my friend but what are we two against so many?” It was

Shaw talking to a person who booed him on stage in the middle of after the

play applause. It catches me. I thought to myself “now that is a writer I will

read for.” The play is so funny when I think about. I will definitely order the

movie, it be great to watch it. On the other hand, after I read it and enjoyed

it; I did what I always do; read about the author. Fabian society that is what I

kept reading. Apparently it is associated with Shaw. Till this moment I am not

sure what it is precisely. Is it socialism? I think it is which means that he

believes that everybody is equal. If I am right which I think I am, I can see

that in Arms and the Man. At the end the rich guy marries the maid. This part

was my favorite. I wonder what other Shaw’s plays would be like. This one is

the first but definitely not that last.

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Saturday 31/5/2008 11 P.M

Modern or …?

Definitely modern literature is my choice. Now that I am close to graduation I

wonder what books I will be reading.1600s or 1700s or 1800 or 1900s? At

first I thought I will read for Henry Fielding, because I enjoyed his novel, Tom

Jones or Shakespeare –I want to read all of his plays and poems anyway.

However, my list is updated with new books and they are mostly by

modernists. Faulkner, Woolf, Miller, Beckett, Shaw, Albee, Osborne and many

more. It is not difficult to get hold of their books with the net and all. I used

to think Jane Austen is my favorite author. She is on my top ten lists but not

on the top anymore. When I read her novels is like I am reading a fairy tale,

but when I read Faulkner’s Rose for Emily, as much as it is creepy I did enjoy

reading it. I want to read The Sound and Fury. I heard a lot of talk about it. I

never thought I would chose to read kind of depressing book like these, but I

guess I am maturing. I am happy and proud that I got introduced to those

authors, poets and playwrights. I have goose bumps just thinking about

those people. Most of them are dead and yet that are still here by their work

of art. I am always amazed at their ability to express thoughts emotions and

culture by a pen and paper. I find it very difficult. From my point of view it is
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not something you can learn, it is a gift. However, I think that they did lots of

reading. Oh my train of thoughts, where did you get me to?