LOVES BIG DREAM

By Derek Jay Mendoza

Copyright 2012 by Derek Jay Mendoza. All rights reserved.

LOVES BIG DREAM

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1: Chapter 2: Chapter 3: Chapter 4: Chapter 5: Chapter 6: Chapter 7: Chapter 8: Chapter 9: Chapter 10: Chapter 11: Chapter 12: Chapter 13: Chapter 14: Chapter 15:

Searching for Love Specialness In Love With Love The Reboundary Loves Challenge Loves Illusion Love Hurts The Perfect Love Loves Agreements Loves Secret War Loves Spark Heart Attack Loves Awakening Loves Embrace True Love

CHAPTER 1 SEARCHING FOR LOVE This is not a love story. But it is a story about Love. This is a story about Loves journey in search of a Big Dream Not once, but many upon a times, there lived a Somebody named Love, who lived in the land of Elsewhere. Love had a very Big Dream. Loves Big Dream was to find a soul mate. This was Loves greatest idea, as far as he knew. Now all the Somebodies in the land of Elsewhere, meaning everybody, had a Big Dream. Not just Love. And every Somebody defined that dream just the way they wanted. Some Sombodies knew exactly what their Big Dream was. Other Somebodies didnt know exactly what it was, but knew most of it. Some Somebodies didnt think they knew it, but it was still there without them knowing it. Sometimes Somebody thought they knew, but they really didnt. And a lot of Somebodies thought about what their Big Dreams all day long, running it over and over in their minds, like movies in their heads. All in all, there were lots of Big Dreams. And there were lots of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, hopes and wants, and problems in searching for the Big Dream. Everything about it was sort of impermanent and changing all the time. Anyways, now, back to the story of Love. Im going to leave Elsewhere to search for my Big Dream, said Love to his Best Friend. Loves Best Friend was happy for Love, but at the same time a little scared. Best Friend didnt want to see Love get hurtagain. You cant leave Elsewhere. Everything youve ever wanted and everything you ever will want is right here. You just have to find a way to find it. Youre doing alright. You can find the Big Dream right here! said Best Friend. I have this feeling that I have to leave. I dont know how to explain it. But, something is calling me to Leave Elsewhere, said Love. What could possibly be calling you to leave Elsewhere? I dont get it, said Best Friend. Best Friend really had good intentions and was always there for Love. She was sometimes kind and sometimes stern with the truth. But Best Friend never left the side of Love. After all, every Somebody that Best Friend knew had their ups and downs. And she thought this was just one of Loves down moments.

From Best Friends point of view, every Somebody wanted to find their Big Dream. Some had found it and some were still searching for it. But, all the Somebodies she knew searched for and found it in Elsewhere and not anywhere else. Especially not outside of Elsewhere. As far as Best Friend knew, what she was told was that throughout history only a few Somebodies were said to have actually left Elsewhere. And it was considered a mystery of how they did it and if it was really true at all. And every one of them that was said to have come back, came back crazy and insane. At least thats what she was told. Others, she was told, never even came back. And nobody knew what happened to them. They just disappeared and vanished. There were traces of them, some memories of them left in Elsewhere. But, those who never came back had just vanished and disappeared from Elsewheres reality. And this is what she feared most for Love. Youve had this Big Dream for awhile now, said Best Friend. Its never turned out the way you wanted. What exactly is your Big Dream anyway? My Big Dream is to find the most beautiful Somebody in this world. Somebody meant just for me and me just for that Somebody. said Love excitedly. I know! Me too! But you can do that here, said Best Friend. I dont know. I just feel my Big Dream is out there somewhere. Sometimes I wonder: Is it possible? Is my Big Dream possible? wondered Love. Stay here, Love. Please dont go. said Best Friend. *** There were so many stories about how other Somebodies found their Big Dreams in Elsewhere. Love heard of Somebodies who knew each other for years as friends and then one day they realized their Big Dream in each other. Love also heard of two Somebodies who met for the first time, and right there and then they knew it. They knew they found their Big Dream. Love also heard of people traveling across the oceans to find their Big Dream. And still other Somebodies who found their Big Dream right in the little town they lived in all their lives. The point was, no one ever left Elsewhere to find it. Were these stories true? Love thought, How will I find my Big Dream? and Why doesnt it ever happen to me? But to say Love never had the chance to find the Big Dream is, well, something that could be debated on whether or not thats exactly true. You see, Love did have chances and experiences of having feelings for SomebodySomebod-i-e-s to be exact. But, things just didnt work out the way they were supposed to. And those Somebodies

didnt turn out to be the Big Dream after all. Love thought, Could I have been wrong? Did I do something wrong? Could I have missed out on my Big Dream? Love panicked. Maybe theres only a limited number of times that a Somebody is allowed to try for their Big Dream. And if Somebody uses up all their tries, then they dont get anymore. Could that be whats happening? Did I miss my Big Dream? thought Love. Best Friend popped in while Love was thinking about this. Youre a good Somebody, Love. Youre a great Somebody and dont you forget it! You deserve a Big Dream. Maybe you did do some things wrong. Maybe you do have some things to learn. But youre basically a good Somebody. Youll find your Big Dream. Just dont give up. Whew. Thanks, Best Friend. I needed that, sighed Love. But still Love thought out loud in the presence of Best Friend, there must be something wrong with me. Im just not normal. And thats why its so hard for me to find my Big Dream. Theres no Somebody out there whos just like me Dont worry so much, Love, said Best Friend. Just follow what every successful Somebody does in Elsewhere. And Im sure youre going to finally find your Big Dream too. I dont know, Best Friend. Ive gotta get out this place. I want to see how Somebody outside of Elsewhere can find their Big Dream. Maybe thats where mine is! said Love. Now Love, do you know any Somebody whos been outside of Elsewhere...and found their Big Dream? Do you? jeered Best Friend. No, said Love. Thats right, Love. Those who leave Elsewheretheyre Nobodies. Cmon, Love, lets go party! Who knows, you might find your Big Dream! said Best Friend. They both chuckled. Love, with a wishing smile of discontent, was glad Best Friend was there to make light of a serious moment. So, they ended their talk, got up and went out to party.

CHAPTER 2 SPECIALNESS

To search for his Big Dream, Love felt he needed to Leave Elsewhere. And to Leave Elsewhere, it is said that one had to find the Old Wise Somebody who could tell you how to Leave Elsewhere. And not only that. Not only did you have to Leave Elsewhere, but to find your Big Dream, you had to know Specialness. And if you knew Specialness, then you could definitely find the Big Dream. So thats the way it was: find the Old Wise Somebody, Leave Elsewhere, find Specialness, get the Big Dream. At least that was the rumor, based on legend, based on stories, based on gossip, based on what Somebodys neighbors friends aunts uncles cousin said. So, where could Somebody find this Old Wise Somebody? And just what was Specialness? Love went looking and luckily one day he found an Old Wise Somebody, who knew about many secret things that ordinary Somebodies didnt know. For one, not many people talked openly about Leaving Elsewhere and finding Specialness, because if you did, most Somebodies thought you were a bit odd, that you couldnt deal with reality, because after all reality was the best thing there was in Elsewhere, and that there must be something wrong with you because how could you believe in fairy tales which an Old Wise Somebody talked about, of which surely there was no scientific proof of Specialness or Leaving Elsewhere. (Or was there?) Now, there were Doctors of the Big Dream, of course, in Elsewhere. And thats who most Somebodies consulted, if they consulted Somebody at all. The Doctors were professionals who were paid to doctor the Big Dream. But, Old Wise Somebody wasnt a doctor. Most people thought Old Wise Somebody was some crazy person who just spouted crazy stuff. And Leaving Elsewhere and knowing Specialness was seen more of like a Legend, and Somebodies didnt take it seriously. For they were too busy with reality. At this point, Love didnt even know if Leaving Elsewhere was possible or if Specialness really existed or not. But, he didnt care about what other Somebodies thought. He wanted to Leave Elsewhere to find his Big Dream. And to do so, he knew he must see an Old Wise Somebody. He knew he had to talk to Somebody who knew about Specialness, which is why he had to talk to Old Wise Somebody. How can I Leave Elsewhere? Can it really be done? Where will I go? asked Love. Old Wise Somebody, affectionately known as O-dubs, said: Going depends on the goer, And the goer depends on going,

Neither exist separately, by themselves, Apart from this, No cause is known for its existence. What? said Love. He didnt know what to say. But, O-dubs knew why Love had come. If you think that going is for you, then yes! clapped O-dubs. Well, now Love was excited! This meant Specialness must really exist! Love was going to see, feel, touch, smell, hear or know Specialness after all! The riddles were a little weird. Cute but tolerable, at least coming from an Old Wise Somebody like O-dubs. Show me how, please! How do I Leave Elsewhere? How can I know Specialness? How do I get my Big Dream. said Love. Yes, of course. said O-dubs. But, O-dubs was reluctant to say anything more. Please tell me, Old Wise One, said Love. First, you must promise one something, said O-dubs. One something? Yes, what is it? Yes! said Love., Are you sure? asked O-dubs. Yes, I promise, said Love. Then O-dubs said, Promise me, if you Leave Elsewhere, youll help The Message if and when you come back. Sure! agreed Love, not really knowing what this one something was all about. Whats this The Message? In time my Love, in time. smiled O-dubs. Well, it didnt really matter to Love what this The Message was. If it meant that he could Leave Elsewhere, he would promise. If it meant that he could find and know Specialness and get his Big Dream, hed do it. There was a good feeling about all this. Scary, but good. **** When he finally opened his eyes, Love was astonished.

**** WAIT! Lets go back a little. Lets rewind. To know why Love was so astonished when he opened his eyes, we need to know a little more. Specialness, it is said by Somebodies, was a curious thing. The story was that to see Specialness, gain it, get power from it, know it, or whatever, if you could do that, then you could find your Big Dream. But nobody knew if Specialness really existed. Was it a person? Or a thing? Or something out of this world? Or maybe something unexplainable? No Somebody knew. Love didnt know anything about Specialness. But, he didnt not believe in it. And, at least he wanted to know for himself what Specialness was. What do you know about Specialness? asked O-dubs to Love. I heard I need to Leave Elsewhere to know Specialness. And if I know it, I can find the Big Dream! exclaimed Love. Yes, yes, yes, said O-dubs. Specialness knows the truth about the Big Dream and much, much more. Take me to see Specialness, please. Show me how to Leave Elsewhere begged Love. Yes, yes, yes. You are after the Big Dream. mumbled O-dubs. I want to know! exclaimed Love. I have this feeling! Yes, yes, of course. Yes, yes Then O-dubs paused and it was so silent you could hear a hair grow. Then O-dubs spoke softly but with a happy intensity, First, close your eyesclose your eyes The words of O-dubs calmed Love. And Love closed his eyes.

**** You must pass through the first gate in order to Leave Elsewhere, said O-dubs. O-dubs and Love were now at the edge of a desert on the outskirts of Elsewhere. Not a single somebody was around. Love could see for miles and miles away into the distance. He saw expansive rolling dunes with creatures and plants that were so amazing he didnt notice they existed before. He wondered how he was going to cross the desert, because Specialness must be gained somewhere out there in the desert wilderness somewhere.

Pass through the first gate? thought Love. Whats the first gate? To pass the first gate, you must forget who you are, said O-dubs. Forget who I am? Huh? thought Love. The Guardians of the first gateif they recognize you, they will stop you. They will block your way. They will send you back. You will not be able to pass, warned Odubs. Forget who you think you are. Okay. Forget who I think am. said Love. When you get to the first gate, the Guardians can read your thoughts. If they know who you are through your thoughts, if they know you are you, you are Somebody, then they will not let you pass. Somebodies are not allowed to get past the first gate. This was harder than Love thought. He tried to work backwards. But how do I forget who I am? said Love. How do I forget who I think I am? O-dubs had disappeared from sight. Love was all alone, practically talking to himself. Whered that O-dubs go, anyway? Love thought. But in the back of his mind, Love heard a voice that said, Going, going, going for Love. Just try to forget yourself. So he tried. **** A lot of thoughts crossed Loves mind. Especially about his Big Dream. After all, that was what he was after. That was the whole purpose of seeking Specialness and meeting with Old Wise Somebody. Who am Iforgetwho am Iforgetwho amI forgetwhoamIforget

CHAPTER 3 IN LOVE WITH LOVE

In Elsewhere you could meet any Somebody. The structure of Elsewhere made it so. When Love was young, he remembered meeting a special Somebody that he thought would be his first Big Dream, but later didnt turn out to be. Love had his first Big Dream feelings for a beautiful Somebody named Sweet Treasure. He remembered seeing a glimpse of her just walking down the street. Loves friends knew who she was and Love asked them about her. They could have said anything. Love just knew that he had special feelings and a great desire for Sweet Treasure. And, no matter what they said about this Somebody, Love made it perfectly fit the idea of his Big Dream. Soon Loves feelings deepened and so did Sweet Treasures, for each other. Love became attached to desiring Sweet Treasure and thinking about her all the time. Well, almost all of the time. With or without knowing it, he assigned meanings to the things that they did and to the things that she said. He assigned meanings to the things that he said and that he did too. He assigned meanings to all the things that happened in the past and to the things that didnt yet happen but he wanted to happen. He defined and assigned meanings to memories and thoughts in a certain way that centered around Sweet Treasure, which gave him both pleasure and pain. Were his ideas true? Were the meanings he assigned to them real? Love did not know now. He thought he did before, but now he only hurt. Love formed an identity of who he was, based on the meanings he assigned to his experiences and thoughts that centered around Sweet Treasure. But eventually, things just didnt work out. In the desert, when Love was with O-dubs, Love had one of his great ideas. I think I know why it never worked out with Sweet Treasurewhy she wasnt my Big Dreamand why I hurt so much, said Love. Why is that? asked O-dubs. I was in love with the Big Dream, but not in love with her. I was running from the feeling of being incomplete and trying to complete myself through the running, said Love. Huh? said O-dubs. At first I thought she was perfect. I thought everything was happening the way it

should happen. Everything we did together was for the first time and I liked that. Then everything changed. I wanted more---more than her and more than what she could give me. I didnt give her what she needed and she didnt give me what I wanted. After a while, the special feelings faded away, and I blamed it on her. Sometimes she did things that hurt me and I didnt understand why. And I didnt understand why she stopped giving me that feeling of completeness and the Big Dream anymore. My pain and fears of being incomplete became stronger and I resented her for that. I felt proud for proving myself right even if it meant hurting her. But that was really a reflection of me, not her, and who I was at the time and what I was going through. If I knew then what I know now, then I could have done things differently. I could have given her what she needed. I could have made it work, revealed Love in his epiphany. Really. That is very interesting, said O-dubs. Now, forget it. Forget what youre thinking. You are just assigning another meaning to a memory. Its a different meaning and its progress, yes. But, that wont get you through the First Gate! Right! said Love, remembering what the focus was. Forget who I think I am. Get past the first gate. Find Specialness. Get the Big Dream. The real one. **** Now, O-dubs was an interesting Somebody. O-dubs too once had a Big Dream. Didnt every Somebody at some time or another? He once held in his arms a very beautiful Somebody as his Big Dream. But he was subject to a harsh dealing of the Universe. He, too, pursued the goal of completeness through a relationship with Somebody. When The Somebody he had been seeking for all his life was finally present, the Big Dream feeling gave him completeness. His longing and search was over, liberating him from un-completeness. This was a new feeling of wholeness for him. Wholeness found in another Somebody, and a tantalizing glimpse of heaven it was. His separateness was resolvedat least temporarily. It worked for awhile. But things were shattered when Death took the life of his Big Dream Somebody. And he no longer had his completeness, but an illusion of it. This drove O-dubs to anger, resentment, cyncism and unforgiveness. What was unconscious was brought to the surface. Fear reigned. But Specialness saved him. O-dubs madness had driven him to seek Specialness. And Specialness taught him, among many things, how to hold the Knowing of the Moment. The Knowing of the Moment was like knowing all things at once. It was like the union between reality-as-he-knew-it and the-way-things-really-are, which were very different. It was Ultimate Knowing. So, by doing this, O-dubs escaped the prison of the past and of the future. He stopped his delusions and transformed his pain into compassion.

And of course O-dubs learned about The Message from knowing Specialness. But, Love was not yet ready for that.

**** I DONT want to forget! I dont want to forget Sweet Treasure, exclaimed Love. O-dubs gave a telepathic SWACK! to the side of Loves head. Love thought: howd he do that? He didnt even move his hand. And believe me, Love felt that SWACK! It was not an illusion. Be like a lake, said O-dubs intensely. Huh? thought Love. But, Love felt fear and doubt creep into his mind. He felt pain when he thought about Sweet Treasure. But he still did not want to forget her. Negative thoughts were creeping in. Love thought: What will happen if I forget who I am. Its good I wont remember the bad times...but I wont remember the good times either. I wont be who I am. I wont know who I am. I wont exist. You are the whole lake. Not just the surface, said O-dubs. Great. O-dubs continued, It can be storming at the surface of the lake. Many waves, big waves. So many things are happening. Theres a lot of noise on the surface. But, deep, deep, deep down below...way underneath...it is peaceful. Calm. Unmoving. Present. Silent. ...Be the lake... mumbled Love, ...forget who I think I am, he continued. You are the lake, instructed O-dubs. I am the lake, re-canted Love. The lake will always be the lake. Forget who you are. You will still be the Lake. Forget. O-dubs became more happily intense, smiling even. Yes, yes, yes, dreamed Love. Many moments passed. ****

When he finally opened his eyes, Love was astonished. I saw Specialness! I saw! I see! exclaimed Love excitedly. Woohoo! I saw! I see! yelled O-dubs. He was just repeating what Love exclaimed, jumping up and down, excited for Love. Or I felt itor wasis itI dunno what Im trying to say. But, I knew Specialness was there! rang Love. Now I know I can find the Big Dream, thought Love. Now, I know. Love would still need to get past the First Gate. He would still need to Leave Elsewhere. He still didnt really know Specialness, not really. But, he felt he was ready now. He had a good feeling about this. A little nervous and scary, but good.

****

CHAPTER 4 THE REBOUNDARY When Love approached the First Gate, the Guardians were there just as O-dubs had said. As Love had practiced for this moment many, many, many times in the desert wilderness, he now did what became instinct. He relaxed his mind. He focused on one thing and did not let his mind wander. He did not let himself get too excited, nor did he let himself get too relaxed. He was being mindful and vigilant. He concentrated with a single-focus, and then slipped past the Guardians. He passed the First Gate. Love was now outside of Elsewhere. Well, technically speaking he crossed the borderline. But Love did not quite think of it that way. He wasnt even thinking of that right now. In the moment, he didnt rejoice on having been one of the few Somebodies who left Elsewhere, because he wasnt even thinking about who he was, or about who he thought he was, as a Somebody who lived in Elsewhere. From the point of view of seeing things from what you might call nowhere-and-everywhere, Love was in a sort of grey area, sort of like a neutral zone, between Elsewhere and beyond Elsewhere. This place was called The Reboundary. The Big Dream feeling was different in The Reboundary. Definitions met nodefinitions. Meanings met no-meanings. Everything was not quite what it seemed to be, as in Elsewhere, including the Big Dream feeling. While in The Reboundary, Love saw something rather astonishing. He saw the visual representation of pain-bodies that were created from past memories and future fears. These pain-bodies were made up of meanings and definitions assigned to memories and thoughts. They seemed to appear as amorphous splotches floating in space and time. He not only saw the visual representations of pain-bodies, but what was astonishing was he saw them dissolving into nothing. He could even feel them dissolvingright in front of his presence! They fragmented into distilled tiny bright star lights, twinkling, floating, and then fading out into nothing. Gone. Pain-bodies of losing somebody he had Big Feelings for. Pain-bodies of the Big Dream not happening the way he wanted. Pain-bodies of the Big Dream never working out. Pain-bodies of there always being something better than what he had. Pain-bodies of having to be right about things to prove his existence. Pain-bodies of failing and making mistakes. Pain-bodes of chasing more, and more and more. Thoughts and ideas were slippery in The Reboundary. They couldnt stick. They couldnt attach to anything. Ideas could not attach to the forms they were supposed to be attached to. Love could see that forms were still forms, but no idea could be attached to them. Things are not really what I thought, he imagined.

Even more, he saw funny shapes and wonderous appearances of forms, which were being combined with ideas that didnt fit. They became absurd, out of the ordinary. These things would be unrecognizable in Elsewhere, but they were something here in The Reboundary. This is a rather peculiar way of looking at things, he felt. There were things considered to be unconceivable before, but conceivable now. The Big Dream is..he thought he thought, but then he was interrupted. Love noticed that while in The Reboundary he didnt actually think. At least not the way he thought of thinking in Elsewhere. It was more like he imagined or felt things in The Reboundary. This was a great relief to him. Nothing Love imagined in The Reboundary was neither good or bad. There were no dualities. It was beyond that. And Love felt awesome to notice things just as they were. The feeling of dissolve was uplifting for Love. There was no more need to solve problems. And there was no pain. He felt and knew about pain, but it wasnt the same pain he felt before. It was a knowing. It was different. Love felt lighter. He wasnt his Self. This was astonishing to Love, as he finally opened his eyes. **** A bright light appeared just over the horizon and Love admired it. The light was simple, bright and clear. Gratefully, Love tried following it. Is that where my Big Dream is... Now, traveling in The Reboundary was different than walking from here to there in Elsewhere. While going, Love pleasantly realized he did not know where he was going. The exact destination was not defined by his ideas or what he thought, nor by his expectations. He just somehow knew that he was going...going towards his Big Dream and he knew he would get there. Soon, he came upon a Some---body? Well, there were no Somebodies in The Reboundary. But it appeared to be a Somebody. Hello! said Love. Hello! said the Somebody-not-really-a-Somebody.. She was beautiful, Love felt. Could this be his Big Dream? She held the beauty of all that he knew beauty to be. Her sight, her smell, her smile, the way she paid attention to him, the way she felt. Was Love having the Big Dream right now? The beautiful one said, Im not who you imagine me to be, although I know youre imagining it. Somehow she could tell just by looking at Loves expression what he was imagining.

Huh? said Love perplexedly. Im not your Big Dream, she said matter-of-fact but with compassionate understanding and flirtatious gracefulness. Somebodies call me by the name, All. she said. A-hah, nodded Love. Pleasure to meet you. And you are? the Beautiful All inquired. Ohmy name is Love. Now Love was coming to, paying more attention to what she was communicating instead of how beautiful she was, though he couldnt help it. Nice to meet you, Love, granted All. Uh-ah, mumbled Love. After a few awkward moments Love said, uhwho are you? I am All, said the beautiful one. OhUh... stammered Love. I saw what you did to those pain-bodies! Exquisitely done! Very good! exclaimed All. She clapped happily. What do you mean? questioned Love. Using your Attention that way is so wonderful, isnt it! Great technique. I admire you. All smiled. I didnt do anything. Love was curious. Ha, ha. Then All pointed gently to another floating pain-body. Love looked, gave it a little attention, well, because she was staring at it, and poof, it disappeared just like the others. Wonderful! I see you know a little about holding the Knowing of the Moment! exclaimed All. Love wasnt sure what she was talking about, but he used the situation to bring up something very important. Love declared, Im searching for Specialness. Do you know where I can find

Yes, yes, of course! Specialness can help you with this Big Dream of yours, said All. How did she know? felt Love. I too am on a journey! Maybe we could help each other, yes? I could help you and you can help me! said All. Well, what kind of help do you need? asked Love. Your companionship for now. Cmon lets go! said the beautiful All. So together, inter-dependently, meaning dependent upon each other, they both looked in the direction of the bright light just over the horizon and began traveling towards it. Who was this Beautiful All?, Love imagined. Even though he didnt really know, it felt right. Big Dream or no Big Dream, Love imagined, this feels good.

****

CHAPTER 5 LOVES CHALLENGE

Love and the Beautiful All traveled farther into The Reboundary. They grew tired and stopped someplace to take some rest. There was no particular time in which day or night took place in The Reboundary. It all depended on the Somebody who was traveling within this place. For The Reboundary had no planet that revolved around any sun, nor any sun that revolved around any planet. It was a different dimension. Time was happening now. Day or night, it happens when it happened to happen. As they rested, Loves eyes grew weary. As he lay, his eyes soon closed and Love fell fast asleep. Funny things can happen to a Somebody while sleeping in The Reboundary. And Love was just about to find out one of those funny things. He suddenly realized he could dream in this strange place. But, to his fascination, when he dreamed, he was back in Elsewhere. Sweet Treasure...! The beautiful All took notice of Love falling asleep. She pleasantly observed him as she felt him drift off into a deep slumber. Love trusted All. All could feel it and that made her stronger. She could only travel with Love in The Reboundary, or with Somebody, but never alone. For without Somebody, All did not exist. She was like a flicker of energy fueled by Love. For now, she rather liked being in The Reboundary helping Love. As Love fell further into a deep sleep, beautiful Alls quaint smile dropped and stiffened. She became more alert, like the protector of something sacred. She had felt a presence. The presence of a dangerous anger and rage approaching. A presence filled with resentment and desperateness. These emotions were nearing and getting stronger. They were like dangerous phantoms that could overpower and destroy Love and send him back from The Reboundary into Elsewhere permanently, not as a normal Somebody, but Love would return as lost and insane. Meanwhile, asleep, Love was unaware. **** All was beautiful the day she was born. Unbeknownst to Love, she was trained in many powers and skills. A Somebody would consider someone who was trained such as her, as a warrior. In Alls world, those who were trained such as her were known as The Immense. Beautiful All and all The Immense of her kind had powers way beyond that of ordinary Somebodies. For example, they had the power to read the minds of others.

They also had the power of Supreme Wisdom which could destroy all the troubles, worries and suffering of Somebody completely. A Somebody would just have to want to do that. And, The Immense had the power of showing Somebody the Knowing of the Moment, which is quite hard to explain in words. In Alls world, it was not uncommon to have these fantastic powers, but it was not common to use them at such a high level. For the beautiful All was not from The Reboundary itself. She was not just anybody. All was from another world. She entered The Reboundary, so that a Somebody, like Love, could interact with her kind. It is said that All came from a place far distant from Elsewhere, known as the The Heaven of Dependent Arising. And in this Heaven, there was a Brilliant Light, known as the Light of Dependent Arising. Those who were like her, The Immense, highly trained in the powers of her kind, protected this Brilliant Light and were both admired and feared by others from many worlds and dimensions. There was another powerful skill that the Beautiful All possessed that was unbeknownst to Love. That was the power to show, translate and interpret the vibrations of Specialness. And this she did not yet reveal to Love. **** In Loves dream he was back in Elsewhere. He dreamed about working the same job he had always worked. He dreamed about eating the same foods he always ate. He dreamed about going to the same places he always went. He dreamed about doing the same things he always did. (Maybe sometimes something a little new and different to spice it up a bit.) Nothing ever really changed, he felt. Love was not truly happy. There was always Something Wrong. There was always Something Wrong nagging at him from the inside. There was always Something Wrong not quite right with his life. He always wanted life to be differentbettermore fulfilling, more happy. He wanted to find the Big Dream. Love blamed his upbringing for why he couldnt find the Big Dream. He blamed not having the right circumstances. He blamed not being physically attractive enough. He blamed the way things were. He blamed I cant help doing what Im doing and thats why things are the way they are.. He blamed his past for being this way or that way and that he couldnt change things. He blamed not having enough possessions. He blamed not having eough wealth, fame, prestige or popularity. He blamed not being normal. He blamed not being able to control his feelings. He blamed destiny. He blamed fate. He said if things were only this way or that. He blamed not knowing. He blamed all that was external to him. He blamed his environment and conditions. He blamed his inner Self. He blamed what he thought was himself. He blamed all that there was to blame. He was dreaming of course. In his dream Love saw Best Friend.

Best Friend! Its so good to see you! said Love. Its good to see you too. said Best Friend, in his dream of course. Did you find your Big Dream? No, not yet. But, I passed the first gate. I entered the place of Specialness, I think. Youve got to see this place! said Love excitedly. What are you talking about? Have you been talking to Old Wise Somebody? That Somebody is crazy you know. Its just stories and fairy tales. Come back to reality, Love. Stay here in Elsewhere. said Best Friend, I miss you. Now Love, in his dream of course, had a strong liking for Best Friend. And since she was a beautiful Somebody, and a passionate one at that, he sometimes wondered what it would be like if she was the Big Dream. Nah, thought Love. That would never be. Love, said Best Friend, Lets go back to the way things were. Forget leaving Elsewhere. Forget Specialness. You are who you are. Be your Self. Things will change if you just believe in it. Everyone in Elsewhere knows that and so do you. Come back, Love. I miss you. Ill help you. Lets go back to the way things were. Theres a chance here you know. The words of Best Friend were powerful to Love, even when he was dreaming. ****

CHAPTER 6 LOVES ILLUSION Bandits roamed The Reboundary looking for Somebody to steal from. Although they feared The Immense, they could overpower them when greater in numbers and strength. Bandits were obsessed. And this obsession could destroy Love. Now in the Reboundary, Bandits were like fragments of imagination or like a potential force, looking for Something to steal. And that Something to steal was the Self of a Somebody. Like Love. You see, a Somebody stored and created a lot of Self inside their heart, soul and mind. And the Bandits, when they stole Self from Somebody, they could form an attachment to it and be transformed into Something physical and real. In that way, Bandits went from being a fragment of imagination---a potential force which was already charged with action, a Pre-Something---into becoming a Real Something in the Conventional Reality of Elsewhere. This is where Loves Big Dream came from. Well, at least the Illusion of the Big Dream. This is how ideas and thoughts of the Big Dream were born into being for Love. Originally they were potential forces or fragments of imagination already charged in the mind of Somebody, not yet connected, not yet arisen, and not yet becoming Something. Then this charged potential force of imagination became conceived and took a form in Conventional Reality---they became a conceptualized thought, albeit conscious or unconscious. It was a Bandits duty and dream to be conceived and transform into Conventional Reality. Each Bandit was ferociously individual, although each was aware they needed greater numbers together to overtake their prey. Upon collapse of their prey, they competed, struggled, and were driven to steal Self for themselves and attain the goal of transformation. Sometimes, one Bandit could latch on to another Bandit in transformation and cheat to attain the glorious euphoria of a Conventional Form. Bandits preyed on the fears and doubts of Somebodies. They slipped into Somebodys thoughts and imagination and take what they came for. However, if Somebody could stay in the Knowing of the Moment, then the Bandits could not steal Somebodys Self. If Somebody could stay in the Knowing of the Moment long enough, then Bandits would have no power to steal. Then, the Bandits would not be able to transform into Conventional Reality that could harm, destroy, or hurt any Somebody. Like Love. But, Love did not know this. **** There was one particular Bandit, known as Illusion, or ILO for short. He was especially ambitious. For ILO aspired to become the greatest Bandit ever. He wanted to know what was on the other side of his pre-existence. He wanted to know Conventional Reality. And once transformed, ILO dreamed of having the power to

create realities of his own. He desired to become so powerful as to possess an awareness greater than anything ever known, even greater than the power of The Immense. For ILO hated The Immense. They were the sworn enemy of his world. The Immense prevented Bandits from becoming Conventional Reality. But ILO was not so arrogant as to be unreasonable about the genius of The Immense. He could learn from them too. But, he would defeat any who stood in his way by any means necessary. It has often been said that A Bandits dream is Somebodys nightmare.

****

The Beautiful All did not fear Bandits herself. For she had no fear. But, she knew that she could not protect Love, nor Somebody, without Somebodys help. She needed Loves faith. Not just faith in her as an Immense, but also faith in Specialness. And when the time came, All would reveal the power of Specialness and translate Specialness vibrations and Wisdom into a Message that Love could understand. All felt the approach of the Bandits. She could defeat the Bandits, if Love empowered her to do so. She prayed. Because if not, Love would return to Elsewhere insane and lost forever. Had no one told him of the dangers of Leaving Elsewhere and crossing into The Reboundary? The Beautiful All could feel Loves mood change. Love began to think and this was dangerous. It was something you should not do in The Reboundary. The pain of all his feelings of failure, fear and loneliness increased because he thought about them as real. The Bandits could smell this fear. And they grew more anxious. All was losing strength. Love was slipping away. And there was nothing All could do about it. The Bandits attacked. And beautiful All beckoned for Love to awaken. She tried to convey Wisdom and knowledge upon Love, trying to prolong the attack. She turned reality into a kind of slow motion force field around Love, trying to prevent the point of contact between the Bandits blows and Loves existence. As time slowed, it appeared the life of Love flashed like a slow motion movie going frame by frame by frame. Love was still experiencing his dream, still in Elsewhere. He was sad now and lonely. He felt desperate. Love hurt. He imagined that no one cared about him. That the world did not need him and he had no reason for existence. He believed he caused misery for himself and others. He found himself again in the desert. Love then remembered a thought. When Love separated from Sweet Treasure he first felt a sense of relief. Why did he feel this way? Wasnt what he bad? He didnt know why but he felt guilty. Love was tied down and attached to something he really didnt want. He didnt quite know what it was he really wanted or didnt want. He only

knew he didnt want what he had. He wished he could articulate why, but he didnt know how. So, he broke-up with her. It was painful, but necessary, he thought. Later, Love missed Sweet Treasure. And later, he thought he made the biggest mistake of his life by breaking up with her. He didnt find the Big Dream after leaving her. And he felt a sense of loss. Although he tried to get her and the Big Dream feelings back, she would have almost nothing to do with him. Sweet Treasure never shut Love totally out of her life, because she felt what happened was part of her life. No matter what her reasons were, for Love, Sweet Treasure had just enough presence in his mind to keep him in a state of not having. She became a symbol of something he did not have in his life. Something he could have had, but did not have. Somehow he made a big mistake and failed. Now, he felt more lonely, separated and depressed than ever before. Meanwhile, Love was still dreaming while in the Reboundary; and, he was stuck in his dream about Elsewhere. Finding himself again in the desert, Love reached out and spoke to O-dubs. Why is life this way? shrieked Love. Why? Huh? said O-dubs. Ive tried everything. Ive done everything. And still, theres no Big Dream. Still, I have nothing. Appearance and reality is not what you think. said O-dubs. I dont think Specialness exists. Theres too much pain and suffering in the world, including mine. How can Specialness exist and suffering and hatred exist at the same time. Theres no sense to it all. There is no Specialness, declared Love. You are right. Everything you say is right. Everything you think is right. That is why you are here. But there is a different right, too. You must find it. explained O-dubs. Love resented O-dubs and he resented Specialness. There was no sign of the Big Dream. There was no Message from Specialness. There was nothing. Loves experience in The Reboundary was fading. He began to wake up from his dreaming. But rather than waking up to the company and presence of the Beautiful All, he was waking up to the conventional reality of life in Elsewhere. An idea came into Loves mind that he would not be able to find his Big Dream after all. It was impossible now. And this feeling began to sweep through his body. A nightmare had awaken. The Bandits were alerted to move in for the kill. Hovering as

fragments of imagination, they could see the opportunity nearing for their kill and be transformed into conventional form. They could smell their freedom from The Reboundary in Loves failure. When Love finally opened his eyes, this time, there was no bright light at the edge of the horizon. There were no pain-bodies to dissolve. There was no lightness of being. There was only the life of a Somebody in Elsewhere. There were only problems to solve, people to see, places to go, and things to do. There was always something more to do. There was always Something Wrong. And although he had knowledge of the time he spent in The Reboundary, still, for Love, things had gotten worse. As he awoke in Elsewhere, he felt an underlying rage and resentment against everything.

****

CHAPTER 7 LOVE HURTS When the Bandits blow struck Loves heart, ILO was at the head of the pack. He sucked out the exposed parts of Loves Self which existed as Loves blame and attachment to the past and his fear of the future. ILO smelled freedom. He latched on to Loves heart and penetrated his mind. ILO devoured Loves Self. He sensed an infusion of energy that he had never felt before. He felt a tingling sensation and knew he was in transformation. ILO became aware of Conventional Reality. He had been born. He had been conceived. And his birth was the awakening of a belief. A belief that Love would follow from here on out. ILO was stronger than other beliefs that were born. In his great moment of becoming, ILO was later to be one of the foundational beliefs inside of Loves thinking. ILO swore that he would fight to be greater than any other belief that had come before him. Even though ILO continued to be an illusion in Conventional Reality, the belief was so strong, that the actions Love took in alignment with it produced the result of being the reality that Love would experience in Elsewhere. Loves Big Dream was lost. ILO, who was a mere fragment of imagination in The Reboundary, was now in a form that changed all of Loves thinking in Conventional Reality. **** When ILO awakened to his new form, he was greeted unexpectedly by A Voice. ILO could not speak, but he could only be spoken to. He did not like this. He felt he was not in control. Where am I? thought ILO. You are safe, my son. You are in The System, A Voice said. ILO thought, What is this place? A Voice went on: I know where you came from. I know who you are and what you are. For I am you. You are part of me and I am a part of you. Now this was weird for ILO. He only knew of being a Bandit. He only knew of stealing Self, fighting The Immense, and always wanting and dreaming of transforming into Conventional Reality. ILO thought, How could this Voice be me? What is The System? Now you are!, A Voice said. Now you are real. Now you exist! congratulated A Voice. Many have come before you, but you are stronger than most. This Voice

knew something after all. This was awesome for ILO. He felt different in The System. He felt better. He felt he had a purpose. Now that he was transformed, he wondered who he was. He wondered what he was. He wondered what he was doing here. He wondered why he had been born into this world and why things were the way they were. He couldnt stop thinking. ILO thought and thought and thought. He learned to enjoy this. For he never really thought like this before as a Bandit in The Reboundary. Now, he liked being here in The System. It was far better than anything he knew before. He could thrive here. ILO felt something he had never felt before. He felt satisfied. But underlying this feeling of satisfaction, there was dissatisfaction. There remained a drive to be greater than what he was, greater than his satisfaction. He still had within himself that same tugging feeling and ambition that sometimes drove him into a frenzy. And that tugging feeling, that feeling of dissatisfaction, incompleteness, that Somethings Wrong, and longing was attached to ILOs burning desire. The desire to create. To create and create, more and more. The new ILO had a burning desire to create something that would last forever. He wanted to create immortality. He wanted to create something that would be permanent forever. He wanted to be somebody special, the one, responsible for creating something pure, and enjoy the pleasure, praise, fame and gain that goes with it. **** Love awoke from his dream. Belief will never fail you, said O-dubs. Whether it is an illusion, reality or truth. Your belief in it is what makes it appear real. But there is something else... Thank you, said Love, I am leaving now. O-dubs was surprised. It wasnt often that O-dubs saw Somebodies come and go. Many seekers started the journey for Specialness. As one of them, Love seemed to be determined. It was not uncommon that Somebody would return from The Reboundary and discontinue along its path for whatever reason. But O-dubs saw promise and commitment in Love. So why the change of heart? As it shall be resolved O-dubs, understanding the choice that Love had made. Love had abandoned his seeking for Specialness. O-dubs did not want to challenge Love at this time. For he knew if he did, resentment would follow. Love had to do what he thought best. Only then would Love truly learn and grow. O-dubs

understood this. Although he was saddened by Loves choice, underlying the situation, in his heart there was still joy and compassion. He knew deep down a path could still be made for Love if he so chose. He knew this from many years of experience, for The Message is what O-dubs life came to be about. Running away from your Big Dream are you? said O-dubs. What is it to you? You care nothing for me? If you do, show me a sign. contorted Love. Shall I curse you? mocked O-dubs. Fantasy is not what Im looking for, sir. I seek reality. said Love. Truth. said O-dubs. Your view of me, I care not, Old Wise one. For you know many things I do not. But I know myself. I know what I want. I know what I can and cannot do. replied Love. Can you keep your promise? said O-dubs. Aha. A promise made by a promise? And what message would you want me to deliver? said Love. Are you going to tell me its a Message of Specialness. I didnt see Specialness and Specialness doesnt exist! Love said with fervent conviction. No, no, no, cantered O-dubs. One moment. Then O-dubs gave Love a message, not The Message, but an important message in any case. One that had meaning for Love to remember the place where he was at now: The Big Dream does not exist. Never will I say I believe in True Love. It is true that Pain and suffering will always be there. It is foolish to believe There is a Big Dream. Cursed O-dubs, thought Love. Playing tricks. Reverse psychology does not work on me. Think back, think back. said O-dubs, as Love walked away. I dont owe him a thing. Ungrateful nobody. I did not find my Big Dream and I did not see Specialness. Theres nothing he can do for me or against me.

Love turned, And who wants your message anyway? Look around you. Nobody cares! O-dubs said no more and had disappeared as he always did. You will know in the moment you are knowing, is what Love heard in his mind. It continued: the message is sealed, and only the one who is meant for it can unlock its secret. Love remembered that O-dubs could still get into his head from time to time. But now, Love would block him out forever. Forget that Old Wise Somebody. I will find somebody in Elsewhere to have Big Dream feelings for. I dont need Specialness. I will make my Big Dream come true on my own. And Love journeyed back with a new hope, and a new idea of creating something permanent. Meanwhile, O-dubs felt something he was hoping would be avoided. He felt an impending War of Contradiction was coming. One that Love would have to face.

**** O-dubs remembered when he lost his own Big Dream. When the Somebody he cherished above all others had died, he was never the same. He would never be with his treasured Somebody in Elsewhere again. He remembered how unfair and unimaginable it was for Specialness to allow such a beautiful life to be taken from the world. For his beautiful Somebody was filled with goodness. O-dubs became enraged and hateful. But, O-dubs was saved by one of The Immense. For the Immense protected him and he knew their power well. His Immense guide was known as Method. And Method taught him many things. What are the things we abandon when we abandon the Illusion of the Big Dream? How do we see things? said Method. We give up grasping and holding on to Self. The illusion of the Big Dream makes us hold on to things as if they are permanent. Even who we think we are. We fail to see that things are not. said O-dubs, who was younger then. Yes. It is grasping and holding on to the Self that heightens our emotional afflictions... said Method. ...and keeps us in ignorance, said young O-dubs.

And what is the truth of the Big Dream? asked Method. And the young O-dubs closed his eyes, breathed and concentrated, as if Method could feel and understand just what he was imagining. Method smiled. Now let me introduce you to Specialness. Then Method embraced the young O-dubs and unveiled True Wisdom. And it was at that moment that the the young Odubs experienced the Knowing of the Moment for many moments. It was then that Odubs first experienced a taste of the Ultimate Truth. And since that time, when Method introduced O-dubs to Specialness, he dedicated his life to helping others find the truth of their Big Dreams. As he grew older, he became known as the Old Wise Somebody, O-dubs. Now, O-Dubs felt compassion for Love. He saw that Love was so close, but that Love still could not see what it was he was looking for. As a Somebody who helped others find their Big Dreams, O-dubs wanted Love to open his heart. He wanted to spread The Message. As he thought about Love, O-dubs grew concerned for more than Love. It reminded him of his purpose. For O-dubs also knew another secret that most Somebodies did not know. A secret that kept him hard at work trying to help others find the truth of their Big Dreams. He knew the secret of the Grand Illusion. The Grand Illusion was the combined illusions of masses of Somebodies in Elsewhere. It was the combined and agreed upon realities that caused suffering and pain in Elsewhere, rooted in grasping the Self, which caused widespread poverty, sickness, hatred, misunderstanding, war and killing. If the Grand Illusion got stronger, then millions and billions of Somebodies in Elsewhere would suffer more and more. If the Grand Illusion reached a certain level, the world of Somebodies would fall into destruction from their own causes. For the laws of cause and effect of everything applied to all Somebodies in the place of Elsewhere. The secret of the Grand Illusion could be described as an epic war of the entire history of all Somebodies that ever existed and were to exist. It was an epic war between illusion and beyond illusion. Between reality and true reality. Between the Big Dream and no Big Dream. It was possible that the epic war could one day be won by Somebodies. The war could be won with the manifestation of Going Beyond. This would mean overcoming both bad and good. Part of the secret was that most Somebodies were taught by The System to believe that good must win over evil. But, this was only a partial truth, an unfinished truth, which kept Somebodies busy and partly deceived. The real war was to overcome and go beyond both bad and good, to go beyond the duality of Conventional Reality. If not, all the Somebodies and their world could eventually be destroyed by their own causes. The world of Elsewhere could end in peril.

O-dubs sat still and silent. He meditated and prayed. The more Somebodies that knew and experienced Specialness the better. The more Somebodies that could find the truth of their Big Dreams the better. The more he could spread the message the better. He smiled.

CHAPTER 8 THE PERFECT LOVE Beautiful All cried. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Love had disappeared. He was gone from The Reboundary. It was not in her power to decide Loves fate, she could only protect him and show him the way to the truth of the Big Dream if he chose. Love was equipped with everything he needed to experience the truth of the Big Dream, but it was ultimately his free will and choice to do so, or not. She had prayed over the fading body of Love. She prayed so Specialness could appear. She prayed so that Love could hear her. During the moments of the attack, when she slowed time to protect and shield Love, she had whispered, Love, you are not who you think you are. You are not abandoned. You are not this forever. There is cause and effect. There is a why. There is purpose. Love could not see. The Beautiful All continued with the last words of her prayer, in a whisper, as she felt Love fading away: Love, follow your heart. As Love faded from The Reboundary, All used one of her strongest powers in an effort to pull Love back from the void of fading into nowhere. She reached across dimensions back to her world of The Heaven of Dependent Arising. She went to the sacred garden and grabbed a root known to heal and cure, a Wisdom root known as the Root of Awareness. And with that root, she reached into Loves heart and planted it there. Love planted the Root of Awareness deep in Loves heart. If one day Love again brought himself into the Knowing of the Moment, then he could experience, like the feeling of discovery, a new awakening, and in doing so he would realize the Root of Awareness deep in his heart. Then Love could regain Wisdom and remember his experience in The Reboundary, where All could then deliver The Message of Specialness. ****

CHAPTER 9 LOVES AGREEMENTS

ILOs power in The System increased. He became a creator in The System and soon realized he had a new set of powers. He created belief systems. And The System would carry out ILOs will. Among his powers, ILO could create feelings and he could create thoughts. He could organize and unite The System into uniform action. He could plan, plot and ploy, anticipate and analyze, assess and strategize. But he still could not speak and that duty was left to A Voice, also called AV. ILO created and created. Things appeared normal to Love in Elsewhere and ILO was feeling good, high in command. Then ILO came across something unusual. When one day Love was walking back to his house in Elsewhere, ILO felt Love become overwhelmed with a certain emotion. Love had seen a young boy whose puppy dog got trapped behind a fence that was too high for him to get around. The little boy wanted his puppy but couldnt get it. And the puppy wanted to be with the little boy. Love felt something altruistic for them, so he helped them. Love climbed over the fence and got the puppy safely into the boys arms. The boy and puppy were so happy to be together again and played and played. Love got no reward for doing this but the happiness of doing it. This pleased Love. ILO noticed this feeling of Love. But he was gravely concerned. For it was not ILO himself nor The System, which created this feeling. This feeling came from somewhere else within Love. But where? Love liked this feeling, and so did ILO. But where did it come from? ILO asked The System, what is this feeling? And A Voice promptly answered, It is known as Compassion. I know that from somewhere, thought ILO. Where does it come from? We do not know, said AV. Nonetheless, ILO created from his own ideas and devices the feeling of what he thought compassion to be, based on the example of what he saw. You could say what ILO created was not genuine compassion, but it was aspiring compassion. He released it swiftly into The System. And Love did many acts of random kindness because of it. ILO counted how many and to what extent the good deeds were, so that he could create memories of them and take credit for making them happen. ILO was proud. And many times he instructed Love to boast about it and make it known to other Somebodies what good deeds he had done. This was exhilarating to both ILO and Love. It infused them to do more acts of

random kindness and more good deeds. It, too, inflated their ego. And ILO was still in control, or at least he thought he was. ****** ILO was perplexed at why there was a feeling in Love that he did not know about. He thought he was in control of The System that controlled Love. He thought he knew everything about The System, inside and out. If I am not creating these feelings, then who is? I have to know. I need to be in control, thought ILO. Upon investigating, he came across a certain place within The System known as The Palace. He had not been there before. For The System was a labyrinth of inception. A multi-dimensional maze that could even surprise a master creator, such as himself. ILO was amazed by The Palace. Upon entering, waves of emotion and awareness arose within him. As he approached what appeared to be a sacred room, he then looked up and saw before him the greatest royalty he had ever known. He was now looking upon The Four Agreements. They would soon let themselves be known as: Fire, Air, Tides and Earth---for short The four F.A.T.E.s. ILO bowed down in respect. Greetings Maker! said one of the F.A.T.E.s. For that is what they called ILO and others who had come before. May I ask who are you, your most gracious ones? For I do not know you. asked ILO, who was still a little arrogant and patronizing. He was surprised that he could speak to The F.A.T.E.s, and equally surprised that they could hear him. Every Maker thinks they are in total control, but they are not. said Tides. Your creations, everything you make, whether they be thoughts, feelings, ideas or beliefs, must go through us. We decide whether they shall pass and go on to becoming, said Earth. We decide, Maker! We decide what is and what is not for The System, said Fire. Accept this and we will make you great! roared Air. I accept, O Lords, said ILO. I accept. It is through our agreements that determines what reality is for somebody, said Earth. If gravity exists, it is because we say it does. If achieving a goal can be done, it is because we say it can be done. If something is beautiful or ugly, it is because we judge it to be so. said Earth.

Do you understand, Maker? said Tides. Yes, I do Lords. I understand. said ILO. If something is true, it is because we agree it is true. said Air. May the truth be known, said ILO. I like this Maker! exclaimed Fire. He is dignified. And do you know what Love wants more than anything else in the world? said Air. Yes, I believe I do, great ones. I have been controlling him from a central desire. This central desire causes his mood swings, the way he sees things, his actions and the way he treats others. What say you? said Tide. His central desire is to find the Big Dream, a soul mate, O great ones. That is what Love wants more than anything else in the world. said ILO. Correct, said The F.A.T.E.s. We will help you, said Earth. We will help you create! said Air We will help you create the Big Dream, said Tide. We will help you createthe Perfect Love! said Fire. May forever be blessed upon the perfect love. said ILO. And the Four F.A.T.E.s vanished. When he blinked his eyes, ILO was outside The Palace. Yes, the perfect love, ILO thought. I see what The F.A.T.E.s want me to see. I will create the perfect love. And I will achieve happiness. The F.A.T.E.s controlled reality through Agreements. Each of the F.A.T.E.s represented one of the elements of physical reality that reflected the way Love perceived things. But, there were many, many Agreements, which were tied to belief systems that were designed and implemented by The System. This is how and why Love saw his world the way it was in Elsewhere. This is how Love operated in Conventional Reality.

Limitations, definitions, boundaries, parameters---these were all necessary according to the F.A.T.E.s rule. It was the only way that Somebody could experience reality. If there were no rules, there would be only chaos and everything experienced would have no reference point. There would be no reality. So, in order for reality to exist in Elsewhere, agreements had to be made on what exactly reality was. And for this purpose existed the F.A.T.E.s. They were the judges of what is in Elsewhere. The F.A.T.E.s defined what is possible and what is not possible. They defined beauty and ugliness. They defined limits and limitlessness. However, these things could change from time to time, as long as they were agreed upon. There were slightly different agreements from one Somebody to another Somebody. But in general, there were many agreements that were almost universally accepted amongst all Somebodies who dwelled in Elsewhere. It was upon the rulings of the four F.A.T.E.s as to when and how things would change. If Somebody wanted to be successful, they would decide if that reality was possible or not. If Somebody in Elsewhere wanted a better career, more money, better health, better relationships, a better lifestyle, or to be more happy, then the F.A.T.E.s would determine when and if it were possible. The F.A.T.E.s, for now, controlled the manifestation of Loves beliefs into conventional reality. For if ideas, thoughts, or beliefs did not pass their judgment, then they would remain immaterial, and not manifest into conventional reality. There were, of course, Agreements about the Big Dream. What the Big Dream was. What it meant. If it was possible. When it would happen. How it would happen. Who it would happen with. All these thoughts and ideas about the Big Dream were subject to Agreements. And the F.A.T.E.s would judge what would become the reality. When the Agreements are broken, then Love hurts, and the promises and expectations of the Big Dream become shattered and fade away. For that is an Agreement as well. Like eating the apple that fell from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden, through the F.A.T.E.s, a somebody knew the reality of knowing things, and fell from the grace of Heavenly Bliss. The powers of the F.A.T.E.s were enormous. I will create the perfect love, thought ILO. I will create the Big Dream, thought Love.

**** CHAPTER 10

LOVES SECRET WAR Deep in The Palace, the F.A.T.E.s gathered for a convening of the high council in secret, which would determine the Covenant of Agreements. This Covenant was the living truth of how they would continue to govern The System and hand down the judgment of what was to become Loves reality. Weve put this Maker into action. But, I do sense an impending war, said Earth. It is apparent that the visit of Love to The Reboundary has created doubt about The System. We cannot tolerate any violation from the reality that we have set forth. As do I, said Tides. Though we have enabled Love to resist the temptation of finding Specialness, the reality weve created may not hold against his will for very longunless we take stronger actions. As do I, said Fire. Though we have held him to resentment and turned him against Specialness, he may be encountered by The Immense now that he has seen them. And he may stray from our control. We must do all we can now to prepare for what is to come, said Air. We must declare war or face the destruction and annihilation of The System. Our entire existence is at stake. Death shall not be our fate! The F.A.T.E.s roared. Then it is agreed, said Air. War it is! Victory against death! Death to the Immense! Death to Specialness! Long live the Grand Illusion! And so a Covenant for The Secret War was made by Agreement of the F.A.T.E.s. Now, battle strategies would be put in place. Each of the F.A.T.E.s would lead one of four areas of defense and attack. 1) Tides would protect against The Awakening. 2) Fire would attack the Negation of Extremes. 3) Earth would counter-attack with The Resistance. 4) Then, they would rejoin and unite all forces of The System, and Air would lead the final battle against The Immense upon the destined Plains of Great Deception. **** The beautiful All withdrew to the Heaven of Dependent Arising. There was no strife or struggle there. It was like a paradox, whose no resolve was its own resolve. A place where emptiness was full, and fullness was emptiness, where bliss and rapture resounded an enlightened state of being.

With a guardians vigilance, she kept a strong eye and pulse on Love. Waiting for his acceptance again. Being an Immense, she could actually pass through dimensions and be in several worlds at the same time. She rather enjoyed this aspect of her being. She maintained a presence with Love in Elsewhere, resided in the Heaven of Dependent Arising, and could be anywhere else too. However, the one place she did not go was inside The System. But whether Love knew it or not, All would always in some way be with him. Although The Systems intelligence knew about many things such as Specialness, Alls home in the Heaven of Dependent Arising was protected by a kind of energy shield against intrusion by The Systems forces, ideas, beliefs, thoughts, illusions and time itself. This protective energy shield was known as The Allowance. It had special importance and special properties. The Allowance was an energy shield that acted like a protective membrane. It shielded attacks from coming in, but at the same time, it allowed the Brilliant Illuminescent Light of Dependent Arising to shine outward. All took measures to ensure The Allowance shielded their Heaven from attacks by The System. However, the primary obstacle for the Light to shine outward was the fact of it being covered by tons of illusions and afflictions. These veiled and covered the Light of Dependent Arising like a dark shadow. And the illusions and afflictions that covered The Light were known as the Veils of Allowance. Under those conditions, it was difficult for Love to see or feel The Light. Sometimes The Light could poke through here and there. But The Veils of Allowance cast dark shadows over its presence. Beautiful All could feel the grumblings of war and conflict deep within Love. There were feelings inside Love that signaled things had gotten worse. He developed splits in his personality. To some Somebodies, Love looked fine and appeared normal on the outside. He talked nicely, did good things and was kind and considerate. However at other times, Love looked ragged, angered, arrogant, and revengeful; the slightest thing could set him off. You wouldnt want to cross his path at times like these. All prayed in the way of the Immense. Frequently she would speak to Love, hoping he would hear her. But even if he did not acknowledge or respond, she knew the messages she conveyed were present deep in his heart. She spoke affirmations to him. You are already equipped with everything you need to find the truth of the Big Dream. You are already perfect in that way, she would say. Free yourself from the illusion of Self. You are more than just your physical body and mind. Be at peace within, then you will have power, strength, courage and compassion of limitless abundance.

You will find the truth of your Big Dream. It is already here for you. The Beauriful All knew of things wild beyond Somebodies experiences and beliefs and beyond that of The System and the F.A.T.E.s as well. However, All was not a fortune teller and she did not know the future. She did not know the outcome of the Secret War, nor of the Grand Illusion. Sometimes, she would whisper to Love, Death is not the end. Fear it not my Love.

****

CHAPTER 11 LOVES SPARK When Love got back to the place he was from in Elsewhere, he soon met a new beautiful Somebody. Her name was Perfume. Perfume was gorgeous and amazing. Within the first few moments of being with her, Love started to have Big Dream feelings for her. How will I know if she is the one?, thought Love. He did not know the answer. On a certain day, as Love was gazing at Perfume, he felt a momentary spark. Loves spark was like a wave of feelings that warmed his blood. He felt dreams descend upon him. He imagined always being with her for eternity and created fantastic scenarios of sharing time together in Elsewhere. Here I go again, thought Love. Whats happeningno waitthis time it will be different. I know better now. Was he sure about this? Or was Love fooling himself, ever to find himself again in the same mental and emotional mess he always did? I wont know unless I try, thought Love. He breathed in and let some confidence subsume his thoughts. He would take the pain of his past and use it to forge a new expectation for the future. I will not fail this time. And with that, Love felt a spark ignite within. But what was Loves Spark? ILO was working furiously to create the Big Dream through the Agreements based upon Loves wishes, desires, and preferences. Just like the feeling for the boy and the puppy, ILO did not know where Loves Spark originally came from. But, ILO used a memory of the idea of the Spark stored in Loves mind in order to replicate it, by combining thoughts and attaching a meaning to it. This would make Love believe in the Big Dream again. And Love did. Contrived, but useful, thought ILO. But where did the Spark come from? Part of the Spark came from the Heaven of Dependent Arising. This part of the Spark actually resided within each and every Somebody, not just Love. You would just have to realize it to feel it. Sometimes the Spark was re-experienced in the things that happened in a Somebodys Conventional Reality. When it was, it was like a pointer or a guide to the rest of the Spark. The feeling could be used for many purposes, good or bad. Nonetheless, the Spark was only a small tip of something amazingly brilliant and illuminating. Thus, Loves Spark with Perfume could be said to represent a kind of alignment of his inner Ultimate Reality to his outer Conventional Reality. At least the pure aspects of the Spark. Because other aspects of the Spark were contrived and impure---a false

illusion. Part of it was an illusion created by ILO, even when it felt good, of which he assigned meanings and memories to the experience of the Spark outside of the nature of its ultimate, pure reality. But for now at least, Love could not tell the difference. He merely enjoyed the feeling while it was there. From that point on, both ILO and Love worked together on Perfume. They worked on strategizing and architecting their Perfect Big Dream into reality. After all, they could count only on themselves, not on anything outside of themselves. And their effort was a creation worthy of their attention. They were totally attached to their design because it was Something created by themselves and not created by Something or Somebody else, like Specialness or The Immense. This is my Big Dream, thought ILO. Perfume, they decided, would fit the idea and definition of Loves Big Dream. And through some strategizing and action, Perfume would come to see that Love was her Big Dream too. Everything was perfect in their System. And every Somebody would see that. All the Somebodies would one day want to have the same Big Dream as Love and Perfume. Love and ILO would be proud of this accomplishment. So far, everything in The System seemed to be working. So Love felt no use for Specialness. Sometimes Love still longed for Alls presence and he had not seen or felt her strongly. But nonetheless, good things were happening in his life and he was satisfied. He expected to get more. Why did he need Specialness after all? All he really needed or wanted was Perfume...the Big Dream.

**** Little did Love know that the Secret War had begun. As it was the fateful Tides responsibility to protect against The Awakening, in order to do so, Tides would attack in the Battle Over Meanings. Tides detested The Awakening. While it is hard to describe in words, Somebody could say The Awakening is the recognition that the Light of Dependent Arising and Specialness truly exists. And The System and the F.A.T.E.s would fight against this, because The Awakening would mean the beginning of the annihilation and destruction of their world. Actually, there were two parts of the Awakening to be aware of. The first part was the Rise of Compassion. The Rise of Compassion was necessary for recognizing the the Light. Without Compassion, Love would not be able to recognize the The Light. For The Light---though Love could sense it from time to time through glimpses and brief states of encounter with its brilliance---was not fully realized by Love, unless pure Compassion was there. With the rise of pure Compassion, depending on its strength and power, Love could awaken to the realization of The Light of Dependent Arising.

The second part of The Awakening was the realization of Specialness. The second part of The Awakening was something very deep and profound. Also hard to describe in words, Somebody could say it was much like realizing the union of knowing Conventional Reality and Ultimate Reality at the same time. With just the first part of The Awakening alone, Love could realize the truth of the Big Dream without Illusions. And The System knew this. Thus, Earths attack against The Awakening in the Battle Over Meanings would be relentless. **** Over time, Love and Perfume became a great couple. It seemed most everything was in its proper place. They found in each other something they needed and did not have in themselves alone. The Spark was there. And they trusted the Spark, which was the underlying current of all of their thoughts, feelings and activities together. Even if they argued, somehow they knew deep down underneath, that the Spark would keep them together. Is it enough?...Is this what I wanted?...Is this what life is all about?...Will the Spark last forever?...What is the Spark really? thought Love. It is here that Tides would first attack. For he thought that if Love continued along this line of deep questioning, Love would think about finding All to answer his questions, and maybe even begin to seek Specialness again. Tides delivered his attack through A Voice. AV declared to Love, This is how life is. Wanting and not wanting. Good and bad. And the sparkwhat does the spark mean the spark is that romantic connection. It is the feeling of being swept off your feet. Like your heart has been taken. Like forever is now. It is the realization that the person you are with is the one youve always been looking for. It is also a decision. A decision that you control and a commitment that you keep. But remember. You cannot control another Somebody. Though the spark may exist in you, you cannot control the spark in another. Thus, you must protect yourself. Through Tides intellectual genius, many meanings of The Spark could be accessed. For some would say The Spark was love itself. Some would say the Spark was a chemical reaction between two physically compatible Somebodies. Some would say the Spark was re-igniting the relationship between two Somebodies from past lives. Some would even say The Spark was a romantic illusion, but well worth it. But Tides chose particular words and arguments about The Spark for the instance at hand. For the Battle Over Meanings had a historical significance as well. It

was not just happening now in Love. It was a descendant of an ancient story. This was the ancient story about the siege and sack of the Tower of Understanding. The legend goes that at one time all Somebodies spoke the same language and understood each other. They were united. In honor of this great gift, they built the Tower of Understanding, and peace and harmony reigned throughout the land. But, others were jealous and planned to destroy The Tower, so they laid siege. Upon the falling of the Tower, all the Somebodies fled. Since, they were spread out across many different lands and regions, they began to develop and speak different languages and soon they could no longer understand one another. Thus, a word or a concept, due to thinking, would have different meanings. And this is known as the Fall of Truth. And since that time, Somebodies would be burdened with the task of seeking and searching for the Truth. A Voice then said to Love: I declare this to be true. For I am you. Know this, and you need not to seek any further truth. Love believed and followed the Voice. After all, the Voice is me, thought Love. The trickery and guile of the F.A.T.E.s knew no boundaries. Not only did they speak lies of illusion, but many times they would speak truth on behalf of The System, to gain the trust and loyalty of Love, which also meant that the lies and the truth could not be distinguished from each other, but clouded in the eyes of Love. The Battle waged on. ****

CHAPTER 12 HEART ATTACK Loves Big Dream feelings for Perfume deepened. But, because all his Big Dreams ended in failure, he was unsure of what to really do. He feared the same thing would happen with Perfume as well. He felt it was his destiny never to have the Big Dream. At least so The System had him believe. For this is where the fateful Fire would lead his attack. For the F.A.T.E.s knew that fear controlled Love and it had the effect of keeping them in power. Although Love still felt the Spark with Perfume, and his central desire was to have the Big Dream, slowly the relationship with Perfume changed its meaning. Fire made sure The System controlled this reality. Fearing failure, Love resisted to let his feelings flow naturally. And the more he resisted, the worse it got. He wanted to control everything to make things right. And oddly enough, he would do this even if it meant sacrificing the relationship with Perfume to have the Big Dream. For he was not used to having the Big Dream be his reality. He was used to chasing it. It became a thought in Loves mind, Maybe Perfume is not my Big Dream after all. Otherwise, why would I be feeling like this. In the past, consciously and unconsciously, Love found comfort in his identity of being without the Big Dream. After all, he had more freedom that way and he was in control. He would knowingly take actions that would keep him alone or drive somebody away. This unconsciously satisfied his need for being right about who he was. Or it would justify staying in a relationship that was not truly fulfilling, because he deserved it. In any case, self-sabotage was justified. As it became a habit, Love would say to himself, I know I am doing this. I will endure the pain. And Love became numb. Somehow somewhere in the past before Perfume, a pain-body had developed that held Love hostage to the haunting feeling of loving somebody he could never have. This feeling called out to him many times in many ways. And he chased after this feeling, more and more. Because it was there and since it was there, he paid attention to it. He became that feeling. This haunting feeling, of which he could not labandon, intensified more and more. The haunting feeling began to shadow his mind and heart when he was with Perfume. He started treating her differently. He saw things in her that he didnt like. He started to blame her for things. He began to assigns meanings to things that meant he and Perfume were not meant to be together. They fought, they argued, and they avoided each other. Soon, the Spark did not matter anymore. Love became depressed and disillusioned. He left his job. Dirty dishes and dirty laundry began piling up in his home. His debt grew and he became bankrupt. He

stopped taking care of himself. He had no friends. He didnt care. Beautiful All called out to him. But, he could not hear. He sometimes tried to listen, and could hear a feint distant call. But, he had no patience and continued to endure the only pain he ever knew. Fire and the F.A.T.E.s were delighted. Loves chance at the Big Dream was lost again. **** ILO went for an emergency visit to the F.A.T.E.s. What are you doing, O Great Ones. Love is breaking up with Perfume. Why have you allowed this? said ILO. Maker, we are at war! said the F.A.T.E.s. I have worked hard at creating the Perfect Love, just as you had asked, O Lords. I do not understand, said ILO. Of course you dont, Maker. We have intelligence that Love is in contact with The Immense. You know them do you not? said Air. Yes, Lords, I do, said ILO. ILO still hated and feared The Immense, remembering them even from his past as being a Bandit. Although Loves satisfaction with his life kept him under The Systems control, our spies informed us that Loves Spark lead him to question why things are the way they are. This became dangerous. He began to think about The Immense and seek Specialness for answers, said Tides. We attacked the meaning of things. We moved Love back and blocked him from even thinking about Specialness. But, we also had some clear defeats. So we had to get rid of the girl, said Earth. Air roared, We found some weakness in The Veils of Allowance. At this rate, The Light of Dependent Arising could eventually be revealed to Love. Our existence is at stake. Down with Specialness! Down with Specialness! decried the F.A.T.E.s This was our Agreement, Maker, said Fire. The rule of the F.A.T.E.s was transferred to ILO. They allowed just enough information on the subject matter for ILO to carry on with his duties. ILO absorbed it,

though furious, he was obedient. What The F.A.T.E.s, ILO and The System had in common was fear. They thrived on it. Do you understand, Maker! said Fire. Yes, O Great Ones, bowed ILO. So it shall be. What the F.A.T.E.s did not tell ILO is that the path of taking Love down to the depths of nothingness was actually taking a risk. It was a risk because the F.A.T.E.s knew that when somebody fell to utter despondency, in their hour of desperate need, that instead of letting fear continue to control their mind, that Somebody could actually let go and surrender their fear. If they could let their fears go, and forgot who they thought they were, then this could enable them turn to The Immense and Specialness for help. And only if Somebody truly surrendered all they were attached to, and let go of all their wants, needs, and fears, could Specialness step into their lives. Upon doing so, this would allow The Immense to break through the Veils of Allowance and let the brilliant Light of Dependent Arising embody the entire being of Somebody. Yes, pure despair could spontaneously trigger The first part pf The Awakening. And the F.A.T.E.s knew this. But it did not happen often; actually it was rare. Most Somebodies remained in fear. And The F.A.T.E.s, in their dire situation of losing The Secret War and fighting against their annihilation, would do anything and everything for their survival to stay in control. But theres one more thing. The F.A.T.E.s also did not tell ILO about the Rise of Compassion. And that pure Compassion could lead Love to the truth of the Big Dream as well. ****

CHAPTER 13 LOVES AWAKENING

In his despair, loneliness, and utter disillusionment, Love laid around and did nothing. He reached out for tenderness. But none came. He reached out for compassion. But none came. He reached out for hope and understanding. But none came. He reached out for the Big Dream. But nothing came. He was at the edge of non-existence, as the F.A.T.E.s ruled this to be. Beautiful All called out again and again. She tried to break through the Veils of Allowance. But, there were too many illusions that prevented the Light from shining through. Could Love not see it, feel it? She prayed. And then an amazing thing happened. As Love was doing nothing special, he looked outside his window. He saw children playing. They were perched at the edge of a small stream and throwing rocks at tiny fish. Then the littlest child said, Stop! Dont hurt them. Theyre trying to eat lunch! The other kids laughed. And an older kid proudly shouted, You stop. Stop being a sissy! The other kids laughed and shouted like parrots Sissy! Sissy! And kept throwing rocks in the water. The littlest kid said, No Im not!, then picked up a giant leaf and said, Lets race boats and see whos the fastest! And the kids stopped throwing rocks at the fish, got the best giant leaf they could find, placed them in the water and chased them joyously down the stream to see whose would win. The meaningless attack on the fish was stopped. Love, in that very moment, as a silent and unseen observer to the simplest but amazing interaction among childrenhad a thought. The thought that crossed Loves mind wasNo Im not!I am not this! A realization of negation. In that moment, time became suspended. He surrendered his suffering. A flush of thoughts and feelings ran through Loves body. He remembered the puppy dog and the boy. He remembered Best Friend. He remembered O-dubs. He remembered The Reboundary. And he remembered the Beautiful All. In that moment, whatever The System was doing to control him, and whatever negative feelings he felt, Love responded back to itI am not this!

As Love remembered O-dubs. He closed his eyes. He remembered what he had practiced many, many times in the desert. Love relaxed his mind. He stopped thinking. He forgot himself. He brought himself into a Concentration of single focus. He was experiencing the Knowing of the Moment. And in this moment, Beautiful Alls presence tapped him on the top of his crown and pointed. Loves energy went straight to his heart. Love then grabbed hold of and retrieved the Root of Awareness. That Wisdom root which All had planted deep down in Loves heart, waiting for this time to come. I am not this!...broke through the feeling of being lost. The moment was happening. A small particle of the Light of Dependent Arising pierced through the Veil of Allowance. Tenderness began to reach Loves heart. For a moment, he no longer suffered because of his failure with Perfume. He no longer felt longing for someone he could never have. He now recalled Perfumes warmth and softness. For a moment, he no longer felt out of control, but he hoped she was doing okay and he felt compassion for her. I am not this!....broke through the feeling of being alone. In that moment, Love imagined Beautiful Alls full embrace. Beautiful All. Even the faint call of her voice, in that moment, Love heard it clear and felt her acceptance. I am not this!...broke through the feeling of resentment. In that moment, Love forgave. He forgave all that happened to him. He forgave others for what they did to him. He forgave others for things they never did but that he imagined they did. He forgave the world. He forgave not having. He forgave the Big Dream. He forgave the way he was. He forgave himself. He forgave his guilt. He forgave his thoughts and feelings. He forgave everything. In that moment, Love gave and received forgiveness. I am not this!...broke through the feeling of never-ending self-pity. In that moment, Love ceased feeling pain and suffering the way he had always been feeling it. He knew it existed. But, he also knew he wasnt those feelings. He also knew he wasnt those thoughts. He felt above it, floating around it, encompassing it, embracing it, not just feeling it. I am not this!...broke through the need to create defenses and illusions to protect himself. In that moment, he saw things-as-they-really-are. He became aware of the illusion he had always been living. He saw that illusion itself was emptiness. And how could emptiness hurt him?

I am not this!...gave him a feeling of liberation and freedom from attachment to the ideas, thoughts and feelings that imprisoned him. In that moment, he was free. How long could this moment last? He wished it would last forever. But, it did not. In another moment. It was over.

CHAPTER 14 LOVES EMBRACE Love looked back outside his window. There was still the sight and sound of the stream where the children were playing. But now the children had left and all he could hear was the tumbling of the rushing water moving perfectly in flow of its purpose. Now, Love was half-dreaming and half-awake. He was somewhat in The Reboundary, but his eyes were open in his own world in Elsewhere. And then he saw another amazing thing. As a leaf fell from a tree, he followed it with his eyes gently onto the flowing stream. He watched the water carry the leaf down the stream. As he looked in the direction of its departure, he noticed a young woman walking on the stream. She was literally walking on the stream. She was walking on water. Am I dreaming? thought Love. He felt Beautiful Alls presence. But the woman he saw was not All. Who is that? thought Love. That is the embodiment your witness, said All. What? Huh? I dont know her, said Love. In the moment after you heard the children playing, you witnessed your thoughts. In that moment you witnessed your feelings, said All. Yes. I was not my feelings. I observed them. I was not my thoughts. I was watching them like a movie, said Love. She comes from my world of Dependent Arising, said All. She is the manifestation of your witness. She will help you. As do I. The young woman walked upstream and approached Love. She had beautiful long hair. She seemed more bubbly than All. Less serious. More playful. At least at that moment. She was mindful. Hi! said The Witness who Walks On Water. And in that moment, that seemed to last for eternity, The Witness enveloped Loves being and Love felt a strange power overcome him that he never had before. The power of the Witness enshrined him. As if the veils from his own inner eyes had

been lifted, he could now see things like never before. **** Beautiful All used her special power to shift time. Regular time became timelessness. Meanwhile the attacks of The System were going on in the background. Love, in this moment of timelessness, had a chance to deepen his experience of the Witness. Since she Walks On Water, Love gave her the nickname---W.O.W. It suited her. Her beauty, kindness and patience. Her politeness and integrity. Her mindfulness. W.O.W. showed Love how to see. She showed Love how to observe feelings. She taught Love that if you look deeply enough, you could see that feelings have a why and they should not be denied, discouraged or buried. They should be embraced. You inner emotions have needs, Love. They have a why. Find out their why by observing them and knowing them. Not by pushing them away, said W.O.W. By watching his emotions, Love learned that some of his emotions needed to be listened to. Some needed to be recognized. Some needed to be heard, to be appreciated, to be affirmed, to be challenged, to be pacified, to be validated, to be understood to be changed, to be transformed, to be affirmed, and much, much more. Observe the feelings you have about the Big Dream, said W.O.W. See them for what they are. Do not hate having them. Do not love having them. You are having them. Then, Love had a great idea. He said, When I was with Perfume, I believed that she was listening to my emotions. She was hearing them. She was comforting them. She was validating them. Yes, Love, said W.O.W. She made the bad feelings go away. But I never took responsibility for making them go away. I got attached to her doing it for me. She covered them up, but they never really went away and I blamed her for that. I told her we must not be meant for each other.

Yes, Love, said W.O.W. I was wrong, said Love. Then he remembered and heard O-dubs in his mind, That is great Love. But you are just assigning another meaning to a memory. Its a different meaning and its progress, yes. But that wont get you past the first gate! And Love laughed. O-dubs, he thought. And he imagined again The Reboundary. Love learned to witness his body, speech and mind. He learned to see things from another viewpoint. And an odd thing was, he learned that he even assigned meanings to this watching thing he was doing. Is that a good thing? thought Love. Love, even the chase after spirituality can be an attachment. At some point, you must liberate even the antidote. said W.O.W. Huh? Now shes talking like O-dubs, Love thought. While still in the moment of simultaneous timelessness, W.O.W. reached out to Love. She embraced him. He felt her glow merge and warm his body. It felt good and he imagined many good things. He imagined cookies being baked fresh in the oven. He imagined moms hugging their children. He imagined fathers giving words of advice and confidence. He imagined compassion taking on physical form in Elsewhere. This positive imagination reflected in how he saw the stream outside his window. As Love imagined good things, he heard W.O.W. speak comforting words that filled his being and blessed him with peace. She gave the sacred words known as Loves Embrace, which would from now on help to dissolve his pain whenever negative feelings began to arise. Anger, I know you are there. I will embrace you and take care of you. Just like a mother hears the cry of her child. I shall pick you up, hold you in my arms and comfort you. You may cry. Frustration, I know you are there. I will embrace you and take care of you. Unforgiveness, I know you are there. I embrace you and will take care of you. Loneliness, I embrace you. I will take care of you. Fear, I embrace you. I will take care of you. By witnessing his feelings and then taking care of them, he was no longer estranged by them. He was no longer effected negatively by them. He could see what they were. He could hold them in a loving presence. And in doing so, he learned he

could change them. Identify, embrace, transform. Then W.O.W. said to Love, This is the process of healing. Then the simultaneous moments of timelessness ended. **** After that moment, Love felt somewhat at peace and wanted to call Perfume. He wanted to let her know what had just happened to him. He wanted to let her know the revelation he just had. He picked up the phone and dialed. He did not know exactly what he was going to say. He just wanted to hear her voice and tell her. He didnt want to control her any longer. He didnt want to blame her for anything. He had a desire only to let her knowsomethingeverything. He wasnt trying to get her backor was he? How could he put it into words? Before he knew it, Perfume answered. Hello? answered Perfume in her regular sweet voice. PerfumeI stammered Love. And there was a silent pause. Too long and too short to mean anything. Yes, Love, said Perfume. I want continued Love, but again he couldnt finish his sentence. Silence came out again. Love, Im busy right now, said Perfume. ButI have something for you. he blurted out. Meet me at our spot, said Love. I cant. Im busy. Ive got to go now. Sorry. said Perfume. And she hung up. ILO and the F.A.T.E.s future hung in the balance. Their worst nightmare was about to happen. The Awakening had begun. But they would take advantage of anything to stop it. There were still ways to stop, persuade and control Love.

**** The Secret War was not yet over and the Awakening could still be reversed. At this point, Earth would lead a counter-attack. Earth would lead the special forces of The Resistance. A root of Awareness! decried Earth to The F.A.T.E.s. Those Immense are traitors. They planted this poison in Loves heart and have used it against us. And now the Coming of the Witness! Damn them!

Thus, Earth attacked. He attacked by provoking thoughts and feelings to possess Loves mind. Why do they want to destroy us? Why are The Immense trying to kill The System? declared AV at the behest of Earth. Like a puppet performing for his master, AV went on, We have a right to exist. The System is what keeps reality existing. We have the power to create reality. We have the power to change your life, Love. But we need your help. Love, you need to want to change. You need to want to be with Perfume. You need to get rid of your old beliefs and create new ones. What AV said did make some sense to Love. Why did The Immense want to destroy the System? Killing was wrong. There must be some other way. AV indulged further, Ask the Immense to make peace with us! Tell them we have also given you good things. We have helped you become kind and generous. We gave you confidence to get Perfume. The System can be used for goodness and honor. We have integrity. Love thought The System did have a point. They did help him get Perfume. They had been with him his whole life. How could he turn his back on them. Shouldnt he be merciful. Shouldnt he be compassionate. Shouldnt he be forgiving. Didnt The System deserve an opportunity to co-exist with The Light? AV pleaded with a powerful pity: We are being blamed for pain and suffering. But, we are not the cause. Just look out at the world. Pain and suffering exist no matter what. Love nodded. And what will happen to the goodness we have created, continued AV, Not all is bad. Everything we do is not bad. That is a poisonous lie by The Immense. And by destroying The System, the pleasurable and good things we do will perish as well. Love nodded again. Loves thinking had begun. And the F.A.T.E.s continued to wage Resistance. **** Soon, the F.A.T.E.s decided to expose Illusion. They made AV request Love to separate from The Witness for just a few moments, so that there could be a private talk with Love---a neutral, non-biased discussion of the way things were and the way things were going to be. At this point, Earth sent ILO to speak with Love directly. And, he gave ILO the gift of voice. ILO would meet Love face to face. A desperate situation called for desperate measures.

Do you know me? said ILO to Love. No, I do not, said Love. I am Choice and I have been guiding you for a long time, he said. Thank you, said Love. I am the keeper of your identity. I am you. said ILO. You and I are a team. Thank you again. said Love. I know you are Awakening, Love, said ILO, But I must tell you the truth of things. I honor the freedom of Choice, Sir, said Love. I honor the truth. As do I. But, if you surrender this choice, if you surrender me through this Awakening, I want you to know it will destroy me. You and I will no longer exist. said ILO. Do you wish to end me, Love? No, Sir, I do not, said Love. Love looked at the sincerity at which Choice, disguised as ILO, was making his claim. He was familiar with what Choice was saying. Yet part of Love was suspicious. But then Love thought about it. He did not doubt that Choice was there right in front of him. And Choice made a case for his very existence. Love felt compassion. But he also felt the memory of hurt and pain coming back. You see, Love. We create who we are by starting with the familiar, what we know. We make new choices based on what has happened to us. How can we create the future based on something we dont know? Thus, I too am part of the Awakening. So I know, said ILO. Then what Choice do you speak of? said Love. Beware! The Awakening will destroy me. It will destroy part of you as well. And your life experience here in Elsewhere is not yet done. If you go with The Immense, they will take you away from here. They say you will experience the truth of the Big Dream, but it wont be here in Elsewhere! It will be on some distant world in some distant dimension. You will leave all that is familiar. You will leave the memory of Sweet Treasure and Perfume. Why do you need to go away to have the Big Dream? Tell them you do not want to leave. Tell them you want to stay here. We will make things better. You will see. Please do not end me. Love reeled back. The pain-bodies of his memories resurfaced. He remembered

Sweet Treasure. He remembered Perfume. Loves feelings swayed to confusion. I just wasnt good enough, Love thought. I should have treated her better. I should have done more. I could have saved her. I just wasnt good enough. I dont deserve the Big Dream. Yes, Love, Yes. said ILO. You can do more. You can be better. Love continued to think, I should have given her more. I should have tried harder. I dont deserve the Big Dream. Love was so conflicted. He felt guilt and shame. He did not want to stay in Elsewhere, but he did not want to leave. He did not want to disappoint The Immense. But, he did not want to destroy Choice. He could not decide. There was no decision that could please everyone. If only he didnt exist. Then these problems would not exist. Then he would not hurt anyone any longer. He would not hurt himself. Love, we have been through everything together, said ILO. I am you. Love admired the Immense and they had taught him many things. But, he owed his life to Choice. Fear crept in and intensified. Then failure, loneliness and isolation encompassed Loves being. He could not take it any longer. He was tired of the War within himself. He was tired of conflict. He was tired of making choices. He was tired of it all. He remembered surrendering when he was at the pit of despair and how that gave him peace. Would this be the same peace? thought Love. Will it end these feelings of mistrust for myself? I must surrender. Where was The Witness? Where was All? Where was Specialness? thought Love. None were present. Finally Love said to ILO, I see. And a certain nothingness overcame Love. And in that moment Love thought he would surrender he would leave it to F.A.T.E.at that moment when ILO had felt he was turning the tables and had lunged forward with a thrust that would stop Loves Awakeningas if Love by instinct parried ILOs thrust and spun around forward with a single-sweeping motion to behead ILO in self-defenseLove did not do this, though he was capable. Love did not take this course of action. Instead, Love reached out to ILO and embraced him. Love cried. While locked in embrace ILO took a dagger from his side. Without Love knowing, ILO stretched his arm out and using all his strength lunged it inward, stabbing Love in the back. The blade speared through Loves body and pierced both his heart and soul.

**** Beautiful All was devastated. Did she lead Love to his death in Elsewhere? Love! shouted All. And with a fierce intensity she used her power to melt through The Veil of Allowance, sending a blazing stream of Dependent Arisings Illuminescent Light stronger than ever into Loves being. Then ILO appeared before All. The bloodied dagger of betrayal in his hand. We will take him. The F.A.T.E.s have ruled it, said ILO. We will end this war. There is no war! Illusion be gone! said All. And she sent another blazing stream of Light directly at ILO, engulfing him completely, and ILO was dissolved. Just like that. Meanwhile, Air was gathering the forces of The System and the F.A.T.E.s were preparing for their final assault. Although ILO himself had been sacrificed, the efforts of the Resistance had proven itself. The first part of The Awakening and the coming of the Witness had not turned the tables for good. Now was the time for the final battle--known as the Battle Over Miracles. And the two opposing forces of The Immense and The System would meet on the Plains of the Great Deception. At stake was Loves mind, body, heart and soul. Beautiful All whispered into the heart of Love, Death is not the end. Fear it not.

****

CHAPTER 15 TRUE LOVE Love found himself in a timeless, boundless dimension once again. He did not know where he was. But he was not dead. His body was in Elsewhere, but he was not asleep nor was he dreaming. He was in his body alive, but in a deep state of meditation. When ILO had stabbed him, this had startled Love, but he was still relaxed and steady. Love had remembered what O-dubs had said, You are the whole lake, not just the surface. Love was calm, at rest, and at peace, even though turbulence existed within him as well. Love had surrendered his fears. His positive surrender had unleashed within him a miracle---the miracle of Loves Light. Love could now see the Secret War clearly. And he looked upon the Plains, where the mighty battle took place. And in looking he held the Knowing of the Moment. The battle raged. There were many skirmishes between thoughts and no thoughts, ideas and no ideas, beliefs and no beliefs, attachments and no attachments. Love observed them with W.O.W. and looked deeply into the true nature of each one. The Light of Dependent Arising shined brilliantly and absorbed anything that cast a shadow, and soon the all the Veils of Allowance were dissolved. Thus, Loves Miracle allowed him to stand in both worlds, The Heaven of Dependent Arising and Elsewhere at the same time. Love was awestruck by the brilliant illuminescence of the Light of Dependent Arising. It was indescribable in words, although it did have some properties. For one, the Light was unconditional. And it did not judge. The light shone on everything. It did not discriminate. It did not choose. It just shined. It was not indifferent nor impartial. It just shined its brilliance unconditionally no matter what. It was beyond good or evil, happy or sad, joy or suffering, reason or doubt. It was beyond duality. The Light was effortless and it allowed Love to be effortless. The Light itself didnt take energy away from Love for it to shine. The only energy that Love had to use was the energy necessary to clear his mind of the noise and static that inter-feared with the Lights illuminescence. Love said to W.O.W., Should I fear the Light? It is up to you. What you fear is actually not the Light itself. It is the way the Light exists for you. Fear is neither good nor bad. It is neither positive or negative. It is how you use it. Fear can be used to bring you closer to the Light. Or it can be used to drive you away from it. When it has served its positive purpose, you need fear no longer, explained W.O.W.

What is the Light? asked Love. It is what youve been seeking, what youve been wondering about, what youve been wanting to know. It is the answer to your prayers. It is reality beyond illusion. It is your true nature. It is clear and brilliant, like a cloudless sky. It is True Love. said W.O.W. Where does it come from? asked Love. It comes from within you, not from without. Not from someone or something. It is not an object, an agent or an action; it is the non-difference and simultaneousness of them all. It comes from experiencing experience itself. said W.O.W. Why does it exist? asked Love. Conceptually, it does not exist the way you think things exist. Although it is devoid of inherent existence, it arises due to dependent causes and conditions. In order to realize this, you must follow the Path to The Light. I do not understand. What is the Path to The Light? said Love. First seek to understand Unhappiness. Look around you. Look inside of you. Understand the origins of Unhappiness and its causes. Then its Cessation will be revealed to you. In knowing there is Cessation to Unhappiness, you shall know the Enlightened Path to the Light and True Love. said W.O.W. What do I do now?, said Love. For now, it is enough that you know there is a Light. And now you know there is a Path to The Light. Practice virtue, compassion, and concentration and you will attain the wisdom to realize it deeply. Seek Specialness. Follow your guide and stay on the Path always. Love breathed. After the War, there was still much for Love to do. There was still much he did not understand. This was only the beginning. **** Despite the lies that ILO and The F.A.T.E.s had spoken, The System for Love was not destroyed completely when the Battle Over Miracles ended. The Four Agreements still performed some judgments and held some high council meetings in The Palace. And AV still spoke sometimes on behalf of The System. But things were different. Upon Loves realization of The Light, the System had a much smaller role to

play than its previous dominating feature. While he was in Elsewhere, Love could use The System and the F.A.T.E.s to create Agreements of more positive thoughts and beliefs, without being attached to them. Without causing negative actions. **** When Love was ready, the Beautiful All came to him. You are doing well, my Love, said All. Thank you. said Love. He was still awed by her beauty. Are you ready? asked All. Ready? replied Love. Then All continued. Now it is time. Let me introduce you to Specialness, said All. As All spoke these words, Love was excited. Was it the Big Dream? He thought. Would he finally meet the Somebody he had been waiting for all his life? Then All embraced Love. And it was at that moment that Love experienced a taste of the Ultimate Truth. In that embrace, Love was introduced to Specialness. And Specialness turned out not to be somebody, anybody, something, or anything in particular. It was not what Love expected. He saw things as they really were, without attaching meaning and concepts to them. It was a direct perception of reality without exaggeration or superimposing meaning upon them. Specialness had no beginning and no end. It had no continuity and no interruption. It was not a single thing and not many things. It did not come and did not go. There were no words that could rightly describe Specialness. But, Love knew it through directly experiencing it. He could feel it in the gentle falling of a leaf into a stream. He could see it in the way children play. He could know it in the way The System created thoughts. He could experience it in the way the F.A.T.E.s made their Agreements. Specialness was beyond opposites. It was miracles and healing, abundance and kindness. Somehow, Love also knew that Specialness was the source of the Big Dream. But, he still couldnt put together the Light and Specialness and how everything fit together. Love still could not answer: When will I have the Big Dream? But now, he no longer needed to find that answer. That was the Truth. Love rejoiced, as he witnessed his realization. And Love remembered Sweet Treasure, Perfume and Best Friend.

**** Love went back to visit Old Wise Somebody to thank him. O-dubs smiled. He, too, was thankful that Love was liberated from control by The System. He was happy that Love had seen The Light and discovered Specialness. Thank You, O-dubs, said Love with gratitude. You are welcome, Love, returned O-dubs. And what about The Message? Whats The Message that you would like me to deliver to Somebodies in Elsewhere? asked Love. Yes, yes, yes! clapped O-dubs excitedly. You were carrying The Message for some time! said O-dubs. What? questioned Love. Yes, yes. Rememberthink back, said O-dubs. Love thought about it for a moment. That poem. How could that be The Message? inquired Love. Think b-a-c-k, smiled O-dubs. And Love remembered the Poem. But this time, Love thought about it backwards, line by line. Aha! thought Love. O-dubs! And the poem, when going backwards line by line goes like this: There is a Big Dream. It is foolish to believe Pain and Suffering will always be there. It is true that I believe in True Love. Never will I say the Big Dream does not exist.

THE END