In The End

Author: Mohamed Nazir

Chapter 1
Broken Promises
Its 1 oclock in the morning and Johan has not fallen asleep as yet. He sits in the corner of his bed with his right side against the wall. His head tilted downward slowly such so that the moonlight streaks across his hair. He sits there all alone thinking of the one he hopes to call his own one day. He thinks of all the times they spent together and the memorable moments they shared. He dreams about how he wishes that he could run his hands through her long brown hair that stretched down to her back. Every touch felt like silk. If only Sakura felt the same way about him as he did for her, then his life would be complete. All the abuse, the violence, the insults that he suffered through would all have been worth surviving. Sakura is the only reason he has survived, she is the only string left tying him to reality. The only hope he has of finding a life that he can truly be happy in. She is the one and only one he trusts in this world, ever since his family left him. Before we move on lets take things back a few years. His mother had passed away, by the means of cancer; Johan never knew his mothers fate. For she felt it was best to keep this from him, seeing how deeply it would hurt him. The night before she died, Johan came home a bit sad. His mother took him to the couch, they both sat down. Gently like the wind amongst the leaves, she whispered in his ear. I will never leave your side, and thats my promise. The following day she died in her sleep, with a letter in her hand addressed to her son. The letter read; Dear, my beloved son Im sorry for not keeping my promise to you. I know I said I would be there for you when you needed me the most. But now I am gone, I may not be here in person. However I will always be here beside you in spirit, for my resting place is within your heart. From there I shall guide you and protect you from what ever harm comes your way. Just as long as you know that I will always love you and care for you. You will be ok. Love, Youre Mother Poor Johan, only 17 years old sat there beside his mothers bed weeping. The tears fell like rain that day, there was enough tears to soak the bed sheet where his mothers corpse lay cold and motionless. He sat there day and night ever so diligently, he did not return to school until after his mothers funeral. That was when everything changed for him. His life became colder and darker so much so that it resembles a moonless night in a forest. With his birthday coming up in just eight days, things would never be the same for him. His mother was all he had left in the world; he was the only child in that family. He never had a father figure in his life, for his father had died in a plane crash in 1992, just a few days after he was born. He was all alone; with no one to care for him, from this day forth his birthday will always be a solemn reminder of whats missing in his life. On his eighteenth birthday, he did not go to school at all. His friends began to worry about his well being. It was not like him to miss school for such a long period of time. They knew how important getting that perfect attendance award was to him. After school his four friends, Jason, who at the time was dating Marianna, and Matthew who 2

was dating Melissa, decided on the fact that they would go pay Johan a visit. As they arrived at his house, they stopped to take a minute to brace themselves for the worst. The house looked empty, with a haunted look. The lush white curtains blew in the wind, the shutters made creaking sounds as the wind moved them back and forth. Jason approached the door and knocked, then stepped back. No one answered the door; he reached over to the right side of the door frame to try the door bell. He did not bother, because he realized that the bronze designs around the button were smashed, and the button was cracked with no signs of working. Melissa stepped up to the door and knocked yet again and waited, hoping that someone would answer the door. Sigh, guess hes not home, as those words left Jasons mouth. The door creaked open slowly, and standing at the frame of the door was Johan. He looked as though he was beaten and was thrown around in dirt. The black suit that he wore the day of the funeral was now covered in dirt; his tie was loose around his neck. It looked as if he had not taken it off in days. His eyes were blood shot red as though they belonged to the devil himself. The bags under his eyes proved that he had not slept in days; because they looked as though the bags already there had their own set of bags on them. He looked very pale, and thin and very frail almost as though if one were to touch him he would collapse right there and then. Hey, Jason, long time no see man, like what happened to you. said Jason as he moved in closer to give him a hug. We have been worried sick; we thought something terrible had happened to you. He took a step back so the others could give him a hug. Johans lips only mumbled but now words came out of them. Johan, are you alright, cmon lets get you cleaned up and ready to go. As soon as those words left Mariannas luscious pink lips. Weak and exhausted from hunger and lack of sleep, Johan collapsed to the floor, knocked out cold. Alright guys, lets grab a limb were going to have to move him to his bed. She took a few steps forward, and picked up his arm, and glanced over towards the others. Umguys you coming or what, I cant do this alone you know. As she turned her head to look back at Johan, the rest of them walked over to try and help. Well I mean I guess I could do it, if I were wonder woman, she laughed. Sorry about that Marianna was just stuck in a trance there. Ive never experienced a situation like this before. Jason said. He grabs a limb, and lift it high in the air. Its alright Jason; Ive never dealt with this situation before. The only thing we can do now is get him upstairs. Marianna said as she moved in the direction of the door. They all shifted into the house and up the stairs to Johans room. They lay him down on his bed gently as though a feather was falling to the ground. His room was that of a dark green. Almost a leafy green color, it was the only thing in the room that seemed to have some color. The pictures in the silver and golden frames that sat upon the cherry colored dresser were covered with dust. The blinds were a dark red and were closed tightly as if to not let any sunlight in. This had cast a dark and gloomy shadow upon the room, stripping it of its color and replacing it with darkness.

As Johan slept they changed his clothes and cleaned him up, and laid him down on his bed. There was nothing more they could except wait till he woke up. They let themselves out, and headed home, each with a face of sadness and worry, along with a hint of misery. They would have to wait till morning to see him again. For now they had to get some rest.

Chapter 2
Sakura
The next morning, they rushed over to his house as fast as they could for none of them could get any sleep last night. No matter how hard they tried they just could not sleep, Johan was the only one on there minds. As they opened the door they called out his name. But there was no answer within the house. The started a search in the house. But they could not find him anywhere. Hey guys come check this out. What is it Matthew, said Jason Well, its a little note that Johan apparently wrote. He moves over to the light switch and turns it on, then moves back over to Jason. Really, what does it say exactly, said Melissa. She turns around, and rests her elbow on Mariannas shoulder. Well it says here, Thanks for taking care of me while I passed out. Ive left early to get a kick start on school, quoted Matthew. Well guys, no point in sticking around here anymore, lets go see him at school. Right behind ya Matthew, said Marianna. She grabbed her purse and closed the door on the way out. They then dashed out the door and headed down the street towards school. At school they met up with Jason, they had lunch together, and his friends walked him home after school. They hung out at his place everyday and he began to smile again. Little by little he was breaking free from the torment and pain that kept him trapped. However, it seemed as though it was not enough, because after his friends had left to go home. He would return to his mothers bedside, and once again he would sit there till twelve at night. He would sit there thinking about the times they shared before his mother left him. The memories were so special to him, that if one were to be lost a part of him would die on the inside. He has been doing this everyday, but there has been signs of improvement. As the years press on he still remains at her side but not as often as he did before. Still he does not smile the way he used too. His friends cant even remember the last time they have seen his heart warming smile. It looked as though it was forever lost in the deepest parts of his dark heart. It has now become a missing treasure in Johans life. At least so it seemed, but that all changed. One faithful day he met a girl by the name of Sakura. She was as graceful as a swan. Her long brown hair could entrance anyone, along with her beautiful face. Which is exactly what it did to Johan, from that they his life changed, he began to smile once more. Day after day they hung out after school till dusk, and talk stories and question lifes greatest mysteries, even share secrets they dare not share with anyone else. 4

As the days go on, Johan became more and more in love with her. He feels as though he can relate to her in many ways, he feels as though she is the one. For the first time in his life, he had never felt so much joy. What is this tingling feeling inside my stomach? he grasped his stomach and attempted to remain calm. Its as if Im nervous every time I see her. Johan takes the long way home, in hopes of settling this feeling. When he got home he ate dinner he made, it was a good thing his mom kept recipes, especially the one he loves. He brushed his teeth then headed off to bed. It did not take him long to fall asleep, for he could not wait to see her wonderful face again. Several months have passed and everything was cool, Sakura and Johan became close friends. But Jason felt something more than friendship. He fell for her, like the stars fall for the moon at midnight. He was struck by her beauty. Its become a habit of his friends to tease him every now and then on the subject of a girlfriend. Hey Johan, remember to be yourself, thats the best thing a girl can like about a boy. said, Melissa. She patted him on the back as a means of encouragement. Is that why you went out with me? replied Matthew with a look of interest on his face. He moved closer to Melissa, as if wanting to give her a hug. I dont know what you think? she said as she took a step back away from him. Well in my opinion, Id say so. He smiled, and then moved in even closer. There you go, thats exactly why, and I would not change a thing about you, said Melissa .She turned around and poked him. Together they walked off towards class. Thanks for the advice, Ill keep in mind, laughed Johan as he turned away. Its only a matter of finding the right way to show how much I love her, he thought to himself. But for now its time to get to class. He went on with the rest of the day pondering how to confront her and confess his love for her.

Chapter 3
Confrontation of Love
Weeks flew by Johan as he pondered as to how he was going to tell Sakura that he loved her. He thought about confronting her today thoroughly, before he decided to make his move. He thought about the possibility of being rejected, because for all he knows she probably does not feel the same way about him. He waited till after school, when she was all alone by her locker. He walked on over to her locker, but did not manage to get all the way there. He turned around and walked away. He kept trying to build up the courage to walk up to her. He has tried at least ten times but no luck. He attempted one more time, and it looks like today was the day. He walked over nervously to her. She turned around to notice he was standing there.

Hey Johan, what brings you to my locker, she said with a smile and a little laughter. Wellyou seedarn it, how am I going to put this. he said. He shifted his feet side to side. The nervous feeling he had been experiencing was coming back. Dont worry Johan, just take your time. She told him as she packed her bag. Ok, here I go. Sakura, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend? For I really like you, and I think youre quite beautiful. he said as he blushed. You know, I was thinking about asking you out myself. You seem like a nice guy, she said as they walked out of school holding hands. Sakura and Johan went on dates and hung out even more, now that they were going out. She even came over to his house one night so they could watch a movie. Everything was cool, they were happy all the time; arguments were no where in site. The entire school found out about them, it seems that news does travel fast in high schools. Johan, youre an excellent guy, and Im so lucky to have found someone like you, she said. Id also like to tell you that you are my one and only person I shall love, and thats a promise. Same goes for you Sakura, for before I met you my days were cloudy but you came along and gave me life. Oh and Sakura! he said as he held her hand. Yes she replied. I love you and everything you do. He held her tightly as if he never wanted to let her go. It was almost clear in his eyes. One can see the love he felt for her just by looking into his eyes. Months passed by and they were already at there six month anniversary. But during those six months Johan noticed a change in her. For she did not show up on her own anniversary, and Johan had to eat the food he so diligently prepared by himself. Days passed by and she never bothered to call him, at school she would only wave and do nothing more. Johan began to worry about her. Did he do something to offend her? he thought to himself. But little did he know, she only said yes to going out with him as part of dare.

Chapter 4
Heartbroken
Johan invited Sakura over one night; surprisingly she agreed to come over. They sat and ate dinner, and drank sparkling cider. At the end of the meal, Johan took her and sat her down on the couch in front of the T.V. Then turned to her and looked deep into her sparking brown eyes.

Sakura dear, I have something to ask you, and I want you to answer with honesty not lies. He said as he took one glance at her then back at his hands. I promise Ill answer truthfully to any questions you have, for a relationship is not built on lies but truth, she said as she clasped her hands. These past months, Ive noticed you have not returned any of my calls, and you dont talk to me in school as much. May I ask you whats going on? With a curious look on his face he got up and walked over to the T.V to turn it off. I hope you will understand me and forgive me for what I have done. Just wait till Im done before you make comments. She said as she sat up straight and took a deep breath in before she began. Theres someone else in my life now, and I truly love him. His name is Jonathan. He is not better than you in any way, but theres just something about him that draws me to him. May I ask you how long this has been going on? he said with a frown. Its started ever since we were dating, she glanced over at him and saw that his eyes were glossy. As though he were getting ready to cry, but was trying hard not to. So! You mean to tell me that your love for me was all a lie, he cried. Then he turned away from her with anger. When you put it like that yes, Im sorry but I must be going now, she said as she got up. Before you go I have one last question. He said with tears in his eyes. Why did you accept me as your boyfriend in the first place? With the saddest look possible, he took one look at her with eyes filled with tears and teardrops running down his face to his nose. Then down across his lips and off the tip of his chin. It was part of a dare, my friends dared me to go out with you, and last at least six months, and if I did they would have each given me a hundred dollars, With guilt in her stomach she moved towards the door and opened it. So in the end I was just a game to you, the feelings were never real. The promise you made, that I would be the only one you will ever love was all just a lie. He said as he got up. Im really sorry about this Johan, I hope you can find it deep down to forgive me, Tears started to leave her eyes as she left his house. Johan never went to bed that night, he sat there in the living room trying to understand what he had done to deserve such treatment. Memories of all the broken promises flash by in his head, along with all the past memories of the abuse he had been exposed to. The memory that stood out the most was the one of his mothers death. He marched up to his room later that same night and sat beside his mothers bed until morning.

Chapter 5
Poison
It was a wet and rainy day, Johan walked to school alone, because his friends had gone away on a school trip that will last about three weeks. As he walked through the doors of the school, he saw Sakura standing at her locker with her new boyfriend, Jonathan. She took a glance at Johan, and was about to walk over to talk to him. But before she could, he had already turned the corner and walked into class. He never talked to anyone after that. Until one day, where he walked over to Sakura who was sitting on the bench in the school yard with Jonathan. Before she could say anything to him, he bent down and whispered in her ear goodbye. That was the only word she heard from him that day. Days pass by, but Johan never returned to school. This was, because he sat at home suffering from the pain on the inside. He came across many conclusions in his life. One of them was the fact that he was always destined to be alone and unhappy no matter how hard he tried. There is no point in trying to fight this suffering, because Ill just make it worst, he mumbled to himself. That same day he walked to the variety store and bought a bottle of poison. He came home late at night, and put the bottle on the dinner table and sat down in front of it. He watched it glisten in the moonlight. He thought his last thoughts before he finally took the bottle and walked up the stairs to his room. The same room he will never again leave. He sits in the top left side corner of his bed. Reached over and took a pen and a piece of paper. He wrote down his feelings, and then sealed the paper inside an envelope, and rested it on a book on his dresser. He then shifted over to the far corner, so much so that his right side was bracing against the wall, and the moonlight was shining down on his head. He took off the cap from the poison bottle, then put his soft lips against the bottle and drank it all. He threw the bottle to the floor, and bent his head down so that he was looking at his crossed legs. Now its only a matter of time before death comes and claims my soul. He said. Those were the only words he muttered that night until he died. His death was a slow painless one. His soul faded away into the dark piece by piece. It was a meaningless death to cure a broken heart of all the suffering and pain. At times like these its like the only answer to problem is death. Especially for those who cant afford to hold on much longer.

Chapter 6
In The End

It was a Saturday morning in June, the day after Johan committed suicide, and Jason, Marianna, Matthew, and Melissa had finally returned from there trip. Only to find out that there friend Johan was now lying in a coffin at a funeral home awaiting his burial site. But before he could be put to rest there was one request that was written in the letter. He requested that his friends, Sakura, and everyone else who ever cared or done something to him in some way to be there as the letter was being read out loud. The final guests arrived at the funeral home. It was now time to read the letter. The letter read; Dear, loved ones I hope you all can move on with your lives and forget about me, for I am not worth your sorrow. Save your tears for someone better deserving than I. For all I have done was make you worry, probably caused you pain. My only use was that of a game. I was your little play thing. You fed off my suffering and pain. I could not take it anymore; Id rather die than feel such terrible pain. The pain of knowing no one ever truly cared for me. So now Im gone, without even saying goodbye. All I ask of you now is to bury me beside my mother and father at the Oakville cemetery. Now, one final word before I put my miserable life to and end. Mother, you did not break your promise, because Im coming home. Your plaything, Johan I cant believe he is actually gone, cried Melissa. She moved over to the coffin to say her final words. Her tears fell like rain that day. He was such a gentle person, who would have known that he had that much pain built up on the inside. He was like a brother to me. We shared secrets; he helped me out so many times. He even swore that he would always be there for me when I needed him the most, and he has been. He moved towards the coffin and stood beside Melissa. I was never there for him when he needed me. It should have been me in that coffin not him. His tears ran down his face like water in a stream. They constantly fell from his face. Its not your fault Jason. No one could have predicted or known how much he was suffering, Marianna lowered her head to look at Johans innocent face. He always hid his feelings so well. We never even bothered to question how he was feeling or asked him if he had any problems that he wanted to talk about, she fell to her knees and began to cry. Wish we had never left him alone. I regret going on that stupid field trip, he walked over to Melissa to comfort her. I failed him as a friend, and as a brother. I dont deserve someone like him, his eyes became glossy and tears began to fall. You must be Johans friends, said Sakura as she knelt beside them. Its not your fault, its mostly mine. I drove him to commit suicide, she glanced over at his dead corpse that lay in the coffin. I broke his heart into tiny little pieces. He had loved me like no other man could, and I betrayed him, she turned away from the coffin and began to cry. If anyone should be punished it should be me.

It rained extremely hard that day, as though the dead were shedding tears. Days went by yet everyone still felt the pain of Johans death. The person who felt it the most was Sakura. Day by day she repents for playing with his heart. She could not help but feel responsible for what had happened to him. Months passed her by and still felt guilty; her only course of action was to apologize to him. She did not do it at his tombstone. Instead, at the age of nineteen she committed suicide. Her guilt drove her to this point. She too left a letter which read; Dear, everyone Im partially to blame for Johans death. I toyed with his heart and now Ive taken it upon my self to punish myself. Please forgive me. Yours truly, Sakura She had one last request, in that letter that asked them to bury her beside Johan with the words Im sorry engraved in her tombstone. It was a tragic ending of two lives that the townspeople would never forget. The words that Johan used in his letter was considered his cry for help. He was remembered as the boy who had suffered through the dark. He was the boy who said Mommy Im coming home.

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