Elizabeth Curtin Description of Contact

3/5/12

Family Mentor Journal 2

This past Thursday, I was able to attend Johns Friends at New Horizon Church in Champaign, IL. This is a group for people with and without disabilities in the community to come together to play games, do activities, eat, and participate in prayer group. I was able to see CT and her brother, WT, at Johns Friends group. About 20 other people with and without disabilities were there, too. I spent a total of an hour and a half with the group, which has allowed me to spend five hours and fifteen minutes with CT and her family thus far this semester. Personal Perceptions and Feelings After spending time at Johns Friends with CT and her brother, my feelings and perceptions about the family have only become more positive. I have had such a positive impression of their family as a whole, and this night only solidified it more. I was able to see great interactions between CT and her brother throughout the night. As well, I was so happy to see CT and WT interacting so positively with many community members. Both siblings seemed to have great relationships with the others in the play group. Both CT and WT were very respectful of the environment and people, and they seemed excited and engaged while they played the games. The children were playing with one another as well as all the other adults and children at the group. Also, WT was very encouraging to CT, and was consistently prompting her to participate in the games. It was great to see that the siblings were so close, and I was very pleased to see WT supporting his sister. Overall, this experience allowed me to see the maturity that both WT and CT exhibit. I am extremely impressed by the interactions and behaviors I witnessed, and it is encouraging to see the positive relationships this family has in the community.

Elizabeth Curtin

3/5/12

Family Mentor Journal 2

As a future teacher, being able to observe and examine these experiences I have had has been greatly helpful thus far. Being able to see CT and her family over the past couple of weeks has given me hope that many of my future students will be fortunate to be in a similar situation as CT. The relationships this family has formed in the community are very promising and important to CTs development, and being able to view these relationships in such a fun and exciting context is a great learning experience. The feelings and perceptions that I have gained through these experiences have proven to me the importance of maintaining a positive relationship with a students family. As well, connecting families to programs in the community that allow them to build support networks is crucial to their success. Thus, I intend to advocate for my own students families to get them the similar experiences CT and her family have. I want to be sure that my future students have the networks and relationships (within their family and community) they need to succeed, and it is with the experiences of CTs family that I have learned such valuable lessons. Guiding Questions 1. How does your Family Mentors parenting and child rearing practices compare

with your own values and expectations about parenting and raising children? What are the reasons for the similarities or differences? To what extent do you think your Family Mentors parenting and child rearing practices are influenced by having a child with a disability? In CTs family, I am able to observe great amounts of cohesion and affection. I believe that high levels of affection and cohesion in a family is imperative when raising a child. CTs parents show their children endless amounts of love and affection, and their family seems extremely close-knit and welcoming. CTs parents choice to raise their children in this way, I believe, has positive impacts. Providing children with feelings of love and affection helps

Elizabeth Curtin

3/5/12

Family Mentor Journal 2

children to feel wanted and accepted in their family. This creates family cohesion and leads to positive family outcomes. On the other hand, CTs family is extremely adaptable and experiences transitions often. In my opinion, structure and consistency allow for children to have knowledge of expectations. When raising a child, it seems effective to provide the child with consistent rules and expectations to follow. Yet, talking with CTs parents, I have been able to experience another side of parenting. Rather than having high levels of structure in their lives, CTs family must constantly adapt to changes they experience as a result of various factors, including CTs disability. Having a child with a disability requires a family to be flexible, because they experience change and transition often. While I do believe their less-structured lifestyle and ability to adapt to change is influenced greatly by having a family member with a disability, this family has been incredibly successful. This family may be more willing to adapt and change, but they are still able to maintain happiness, cohesion, respectability, and positive outcomes. 2. Discuss one family life cycle transition your Family Mentor has been through with

their child with a disability. Describe what the transition was. What were your Family Mentors perceptions about it? What was stressful? How did your Family Mentor cope with the transition? Currently, my family is experiencing a transition with CT. Next year, CT

should be moving up to middle school (6th grade). Yet, CTs parents are considering keeping her in 5th grade for another year to further her academic development. Whether CT stays in 5th grade or moves to 6th grade, this is a transition period for the family. The family needs to adjust to either a new school or a new life-style, friend group, and future dynamic for CT. CTs parents need to prepare to advocate for CT at her new school or reevaluate CTs needs if she is kept in 5th grade. CTs parents seem to be used to transitions such as this. They appear to have positive

Elizabeth Curtin

3/5/12

Family Mentor Journal 2

outlooks and perceptions on the situation because they are confident their family can adapt to whatever change is going to occur. Yet, this does not mean the transition is not stressful. Currently, CTs parents are talking with school administration about the future possibilities for CT, but the uncertainty of the future can be frightening. It is stressful for the family to be making such a huge academic decision for CT, and the unknown of the future causes pressure. If CT does move to 6th grade, the family is stressed about the possible unexpected transitions she will experience. If she stays in 5th, the family needs to reevaluate CTs academic needs to ensure she is making progress. CTs family is taking this situation day-by-day and working closely with school administration to determine the best placement for CT. Overall, though, CTs family seems to be handling this stressful transition in the most effective and productive manner. 3. --Describe the sibling subsystem (e.g., How many children are there in this family?

What are their gender, ages & birth order? This description should include the child with the disability.) --Describe and discuss your perceptions of the siblings relationship with the child with the disability. If you have not observed any sibling interactions, then ask the parent about those relationships and use this in your description and discussion. In CTs family, there are three children. CTs brother, WT, is nine years old. CT is the next oldest and she is eleven years old. PT, the oldest daughter, is twelve and a half years old. As I have observed thus far, I have seen great interactions between these three siblings. The siblings seem to be extremely supportive of one another. They play games with each other, are kind to each other, and act almost as though they are friends. I have experienced some typical sibling bickering, but have observed very positive interactions for the most part. Specifically, WT and PT are very supportive of CT and are usually nice to her. PT is very loyal and protective of CT

Elizabeth Curtin

3/5/12

Family Mentor Journal 2

and seems to be a great support system. It is great to be able to view these positive interactions between the three siblings. I am able to see the role siblings can play in one anothers lives. The support and love exhibited is heart-warming and exciting to see. I truly do believe that the three siblings, unknowingly some of the time, help each other overcome various obstacles that life presents. I am lucky to have experienced the brother-sister bond CT, PT, and WT share, and it has provided me with hope and excitement for their future.