NEWSLETTER

Winter 2011
"supporting lay ministry in all its forms"





Coffee after Sunday Service at Great Hucklow,
at the UALM conference November 2011.

Issue 5
www.ualm.org.uk
Page 2 of 28
Contents

3 Lament for Lorraine Shaw
4 t
6 PresideW
7 dE Fran Pitt
8 Conference memories Anna Jarvis
12 Friendship Anna Jarvis
13 My Spiritual Journey (so far) Sue Brayford
16 A Way-Side Tryst on the Journey of the Spirit Iain Brown
18 My Journey Fran Pitt
19 From there to here, my journey as a Unitarian Sue Woolley
21 Evening Worship at Great Hucklow Iain Brown
25 Deathbed Ministry Jim Stearn
27 Dates for Your Diary
28 UALM Committee
*********************

Request for contributions to Stirrings 2012

1 u C M S
8 C M
th

anniversary of the Great Ejection, they are inviting contributions to their
celebration and requesting articles, poems, reflections or meditations,

S
inclusion in the Stirrings Newsletter for 2012. Please send any
contributions by 15
th
January 2012 to Winnie Gordon
gordonwinnie@yahoo.com. Thank you.
Page 3 of 28
"Lament for Lorraine Shaw"
It is with great sadness that we record the death of
one of our newest members, Lorraine Shaw, who

We remember her with love, and offer our prayers
and condolences to her family and friends.

One of our members, Gerald Witcher, who became
good friends with her, wrote these words in memory of her.
L ! C -
mails which reads as follows "For it was not into my ear that you
whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed but my
soul"
This to me was so true of her and although I only knew her for three
l

"Spirit of Life and Hope and Love, we find ourselves today in the
presence of unfathomable mystery, as with humble hearts we bow
before the veil which has fallen between us and one whom we have
known and loved.
Help us not to fear - nor to surrender ourselves to grief alone. Help us to
remember that greater than sorrow is love, which endures through pain
and conquers grief. Love can bind all hearts in bonds of fellowship and
courage; they who love unselfishly face even the depths with courage,
for their strength is the strength of many and their courage rests upon
the love of friends.

Let us open our hearts now - all the windows of our hearts - in search of
the inner resources we shall need, if we are to face life's varied
experiences of joy and sorrow. At this time when ties of friendship and
kinship have been broken, we seek the peace of acceptance.
May the words, the feelings, and the remembrances we share in these
quiet moments strengthen us each in our grief, and all in our support,
one for another. Amen" (Prayer by Michael Dadson)

May she rest in peace.
Page 4 of 28
t

Good grief! How did I get here? My mother always told me that the most
n and that the second most


no. And guess what she was right on both points. And I clearly still
have a lot of learning still to do!

Which reminds me l l A
Joanne McGeehan introduced herself as the new editor, but regretfully
she is not continuing, so here I am Anna Jarvis, based in Knutsford,
Cheshire, member both of Brook Street Chapel, Knutsford, and Dunham
8 C A l u l
a lapsed period during my twenties. I rediscovered my faith about six or
seven years ago, have since done the Foundation and Preliminary Steps of
W S C l
for ministry training in January.

A u l
raise three young children (Amy 6, Sophie 4 and Nathan 2 Nathan holds
the record of being the youngest person to attend a UALM conference at
W l s going,
and grow my vegetables. So plenty of spare time then!
Anyway, enough about me did you know that UALM membership is
now over 60 - how amazing is that! A very warm welcome to all those
of you who have joined, or rejoined, UALM over the past year. For
those of you reading this who are not yet members, ask yourself these
questions. Do you take services for a Unitarian congregation, or would
you like to learn how to take services? Are you involved in or interested
in Unitarian lay leadership and lay ministry? If the answer to any of
these is yes, or even just a maybe, then please join UALM! There is a
newsletter twice a year, a weekend conference in November at Great
Hucklow (this is both educational and inspirational, challenging and
entertaining), the opportunity to meet with other members, and lots of
information about the Worship Studies Course.
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The best way to explain exactly what we are about is to show you our
mission in life read on!

UALM Objects:
1. to support all those involved in delivering worship in Unitarian
churches and chapels
2. to support all those involved in lay leadership of a Unitarian
congregation, whatever form this might take
3. to promote and share best practice in Unitarian worship and lay
ministry
4. to support the General Assembly of Unitarian & Free Christian
Churches

It should be stressed that UALM is open to ministers, lay leaders and
Unitarians who are interested to any degree in the delivering and
improvement of worship and leadership through lay ministry, whether
you are a lifelong Unitarian, or only joined us last week everyone has
something to offer.

So, finally. Welcome to this latest edition of the UALM newsletter, I hope
you enjoy it, and find something to inspire you, encourage you, comfort
you or entertain you within these pages. Constructive criticism is always
welcome my e- ld love to hear from you if
you have ideas for new articles, changes and improvements. And
particular thanks to everyone who has contributed here was I worried
about lack of material! What a wealth of talent we have.

Most of all, at this time, I wish you a peaceful Christmas, and a love-filled
New Year may there be stars above you to guide your way.
Anna Jarvis

N.B. All views expressed in this newsletter represent those of their
author, and not necessarily those of UALM.

Page 6 of 28
WW

Banbury Fellowship held their Christmas
service on 18
th
December at the Town Hall,
where we usually meet on the 4
th
or last
Sunday of each month, but we decided to
meet a week early as we felt that we did not
really want a meeting on Christmas morning.
So we held a Christmas Kaleidoscope service.
This was also the occasion of my final service
L L ! S-
S S W
Student Minister until the Summer, when she
is due to be formally welcomed into the
denomination as a professional minister, and
8

After a most delightful service, in which by chance cats featured (!), but
more of this another time perhaps, we all shared a glass of sherry and a
mince pie, during which our Chairwoman, Elaine Nomura, gave a short
speech, thanking me for my years of service to the Fellowship, and
presented me with a floral basket and an M&S gift voucher. This was
completely unexpected, and I was most moved by their kind gesture.

l he music for worship there for the past 40 odd years
at least, and also doubling as Lay Leader since the start of this century.
So this occasion brought to an end quite an important phase of my life;
starting many years ago, when I was invited to join an infant
organisation being set up by folk in positions of responsibility in our
churches, who were providing lay-led leadership to their own
congregations. We were eventually accepted by HQ, and given a page of
our own in the denominational directory. I was the second person to
take on the job of Secretary of UALL (Unitarian Association of Lay
Leaders), and after some 14 years or so, I passed it over to our current
Secretary, whose energy and unenviable talents have transformed it into
Malcolm Sadler
Page 7 of 28
UALM (Unitarian Association for Lay Ministry), of which I now have the
pleasure and privilege of being President.

So for me and all my friends at Banbury, 2012 sees the start of a whole
l uALM
under the guidance of our indefatigable Secretary. I wish you all a very
successful and happy year to come, and look forward to meeting many
of you either at the General Assembly meetings and/or at our Annual
Conference in November.

All good wishes,
Malcolm

There is something about the Nightingale Centre, by Fran Pitt

Even with the excellent refurbishment of the dining room, its not exactly
modern and trendy; rooms are basic, beds narrow, showers miniscule

about it. But it always quickly weaves a spell so that as dusk fell that
late-November evening, as we gathered in the sitting room waiting for
and greeting each newcomer, it quickly became our familiar world and
our home.

But there was no opportunity to slump into cosiness: Sue Woolley, with
boundless energy, had mapped the weekend with a fine pen, and there
W C
ministry contract (which has frightened the life out of me!). All good,
useful stuff, and well worth travelling from Somerset for.

l C P
intimate and pretty and joining the village for the Sunday morning
service is a pleasure. This time, during the hymns and after every reading
we had the added delight of dressing the Christmas tree. The friendly
congregation made us welcome, and we learnt that without the
Nightingale Centre visitors, the chapel would find it hard to keep going.
Fran Pitt
Page 8 of 28
Conference memories, by Anna Jarvis

This was the fourth conference I have attended, and it more than lived
1 L S
as we swapped experiences, thoughts and beliefs about ministry.

After an excited Friday evening meal as we all caught up with each
other, there was a quick business meeting and a taste of the wonderful
worship we would experience throughout the weekend in the epilogue
led by Chris Pilkington. One of the great joys was seeing our President,
Malcolm Sadler, back after several months in hospital that forced him to
and we wish him a continued recovery in
2012.

Saturday as always was the busy day morning devotions at 8am, where
we greeted each other all over again, but this time in silence, touching
hands. Then, after breakfast, we split into three groups, to share our
joys and concerns at what was happening in our lives and ministries at
the moment, and to offer support, encouragement and advice to each
other.

Our first full W C
M 1

categories such as Worship, Administration, Buildings, Pastoral Care, etc.
That was the easy bit. We were then split into groups again, each group
given a different scenario of a congregation, and asked to devise the job

decided to appoint. Just to spice this up, we also had to allocate the
time needed to be dedicated to each aspect, either in hours per month,
or in my group, we sneakily did it by percentages! It was interesting how
day, and 31
days a month! Winnie finished by circulating a draft version of a
ministry contract for discussion, and this will continue to be developed
and debated.

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The first half of the afternoon was scheduled as free time, or a meeting
about the Worship Studies Course which resulted in no-one having any
free time, as everyone attended the session. The interest and
enthusiasm generated by this course is quite spectacular, though I can
envisage the course Tutors getting slightly nervous about the amount of
work that might be headed their way for marking! Still, as I said in my
editorial, always ask a busy person when you need something doing!
And the feedback was that the tutors do this particular job extremely
well, providing encouragement and support, but also firm and clear
guidance from all those who have undertaken any of the Preliminary
or Advanced Courses, a resounding thanks was offered to the three
tutors, Rev Alex Bradley, Rev Dr Vernon Marshall, and Rev Ernest Baker.
Anyone wanting information about the course can contact the
Administrator, Winnie Gordon her contact details are at the back of
this newsletter.

After coffee, Rev Alex Bradley led us in a session looking at Spiritual
Ministry. We talked about telling our sacred stories, and how we can do
that using both freshness and familiarity, innovation and tradition. We
also discussed what can influence our spiritual ministry, such as animals
and the natural world, and particular places, whether the countryside, or
even built up areas and particular buildings. One phrase that was used,
l W
us
struck a particular chord with me. Sadly, we had to stop for tea, but I
got the feeling that we could have gone on for hours although poor
A

After yet another delicious meal, we convened for the final full group
session, this time led by our Secretary, Sue Woolley, on small-group
ministry. We examined three main questions what are the advantages
of small-group ministry (e.g. intimacy, sense of safety, more chance of
being heard, better bonding), what are the barriers to small-group
ministry working well (e.g. cliques, discrimination, exclusivity, people
being either too nervous to participate, or being over-dominant), and
finally what are the principles of Small-Group Engagement that would
Page 10 of 28
allow groups to function at their best (ground rules, a neutral, safe and


or to be silent, and to make sure no-one is talked over or interrupted.)

Feeling exhausted, full (both of food and of food-for-thought), we were
led in the evening epilogue by Iain Brown the text of this can be found
later in this newsletter, for which many thanks, Iain. Finally we retired
although no-one had brought
an
capacity to consume them, we all felt very well nourished, both
physically and spiritually.

In the morning, we held our plenary session, where we brought any
comments about the conference this included a huge thank you to Sue
and the committee for all the hard work they did to arrange everything
so well. We also discussed what our future conference topics might be
this included a session on sharing resources perhaps on a particular
theme, e.g. Christmas; prayer, what it is, what it means; spiritual
practices nurturing ourselves, spiritual nurture; coping with seasonal
festivals; rites of passage. These suggestions would be submitted to the
committee to help them begin to arrange next years conference.
It was also suggested that the newsletter could be used as a means of
introducing ourselves to the rest of the UALM membership, by having
L ! a
short look at how we got to where we are, and maybe some thoughts
about where we might be going. Hence you will find articles by Sue
Woolley, Sue Brayford and Fran Pitt, all of which make for inspiring
reading my thanks to all three of them.

In a very large aside, next l
23
rd
to Sunday 25
th
November 2012 and we look forward to seeing as
many of you there as possible. Put it in your diaries now!

In the final part of the conference, we all joined the Hucklow
congregation in the Chapel for an amazing First Advent Service led by Liz
Page 11 of 28
S P L-Person-In-Charge and a UALM member.
Numerous UALM members at the conference contributed with readings,
and at the end of each reading or mini-address the speaker added a few
decorations to the Christmas tree. My favourite part (although it had
S W
reading of the Litany of Comfort for Blue Christmas, by Debra Faulk I
8 C S
see, even in the worship, we are learning and growing!

We joined the congregation for tea and coffee afterwards in their nearly
newly refurbished meeting room, before making our way back to the
Nightingale Centre for our final meal together before saying our fond
farewells and returning home not rested, but definitely rejuvenated.
l l

My thanks once again, on behalf of all of us, particularly to Sue Woolley,
and to all the committee and officers, for all their work in running this
amazing group, and offering us such an inspiring conference, year after
year.
Anna Jarvis




Words to celebrate the conference
One of the old ones stood up into the morning light and spoke to those
who had come back to the river: "Now we have come again to this place;
it is a good thing. My life apart from you is not as strong. Yes, I have
danced and I have told the stories at my own fire and I have sung to all
the six directions. But when I am with you, my friends, I know better
who it is in me that sings."
Barbara J Pescan
Page 12 of 28
Friendship

Our truest friends
Know well our every weakness
Point out our faults with kindness
k
And love us still.

Our closest friends
u
Delight in our joy and celebrations
W
And love us still.

Our dearest friends
Support and encourage our deepest dreams
Acknowledge and understand our darkest fears
See our best and our very worst sides
And love us still.

Our friends are our critics, our conscience, our judges.
Our friends are our comfort, our strength, our lifeblood.
Value your friends and the love that they give you
By being the very best friend that you can.
Anna Jarvis
Page 13 of 28
My Spiritual Journey (so far), by Sue Brayford

As a child I attended a Methodist Sunday School. This was influenced by
my paternal grandparents who were staunch Methodists. My great,
great Aunt Leticia walked 30 miles to hear John Wesley preach at Mow
Cop near Stoke on Trent and she brought up my grandfather. My
parents would go to Chapel reluctantly at Christmas or Easter. These
early experiences were positive for me. I remember them with
happiness and remember the warmth and kindness I felt from the
people.

As an adult I did not feel inspired by going to Chapel but I always
enjoyed the singing. My attendance was infrequent.

After being married for 18 years I realised my husband had a drinking
problem and I was told about a self help group called Al-Anon for people
in my situation. They suggested that we develop a spiritual connection
and to decide on our own concept of God. For me this was a challenge
since I had felt abandoned by God when my father died when I was 10
years old.

However I did get great spiritual strength from attending these groups
over a number of years. I listened to group members share their
experience, strength and hope and met literally thousands of people
including children and young teenagers and I became involved in
running Al-Ateen which was an organisation for children affected by an
alcoholic parent.

These groups had a profound effect on my life. Teaching me through a
programme called the 12 steps which we were encouraged to go
through with someone we had come to trust from within the fellowship.
These were the 12 steps taken from Alcoholics Anonymous which we
were encouraged to follow.



Page 14 of 28
The Twelve Steps

1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives
had become unmanageable.
2 Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could
restore us to sanity.
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of
God as we understood Him. (or He, She or It in Al-Ateen)
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5 Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
character.
7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to
make amends to them all.
9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible. Except
when to do so would injure them or others.
10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it.
11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood Him(He She or It- in Al-
Ateen) praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the
power to carry that out.
12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we
tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs.

The effects of this experience remain with me and I still use the ideas
and suggestions today. Now I use my interest in Kundalini Yoga to
achieve a conscious contact with God and I have a daily meditation
practice.

I have been on a long spiritual journey which has lead me to explore
many different ideas. As my awareness of myself and how I function in
the world grew I felt the need to find more and more information.
Page 15 of 28

I studied counselling and psychotherapy and went to many workshops,
talks and discussions including Astral Travel meditation, How to Heal
Your Life workshops-using positive affirmations to heal illness and
workshops on UFO experiences and conspiracy theories. I became
involved with Peace organisations and went to Peace gatherings. These
had a strong spiritual aspect praying for World Peace and linking into
North American Indian prophesies and teachings. I even stayed in a
Tepee on a very wet weekend in West Wales!

It was during this period that we came to live in Arnside and saw in the
paper a meditation group advertised at the Kendal Unitarian Chapel, so
we came along and found a very warm welcome from the coffee
morning crew particularly Marjorie, and also a minister who was
interested in some of the things we were interested in.

I feel I have found here a fellowship which gives me what I need to carry
on with my spiritual journey. I feel part of a Unitarian family. We have
our squabbles like any family but we strive to be tolerant and allow one
another freedom to reason life out for ourselves as the free thinking,
spiritual individuals that we are meant to be.

For this I feel a debt of gratitude to our forebears who suffered for their
Faith and who have left us a great legacy which I will strive to honour to
the best of my ability.
Sue Brayford



Page 16 of 28
A Way-Side Tryst on the Journey of the Spirit? by Iain Brown

I was part of an Engagement Group which died. It struck me afterwards
that quite possibly there is a stage of sharing which may be necessary in
some congregational situations before an Engagement Group can
prosper.

I propose that those who are attracted to the idea I am about to
describe first choose from within the congregation a partner with whom
they feel comfortable in sharing their personal journey of spiritual
development. That person should not be their spouse or partner. Once
they have met and drawn up together a list of people they both would
feel comfortable sharing with (and, if they prefer, a person or two they
would wish to avoid for the moment, not necessarily for always) then
they should invite two other people with whom to share.

There should be no questions asked if the invitation is refused by anyone.
There are many reasons why people are willing to speak with some but
not at present with others until they are stronger or better able to
express themselves. Also nobody should expect to work round the whole
congregation and end up sharing with everybody. There should be
nothing systematic or compulsive about it.

The four who have agreed to explore together can then meet as they
please l
there are potential dangers of inequality, territoriality and even
competition in that) but, better, in a neutral place - perhaps over a
shared meal in a restaurant, in a bar or even just in the church buildings
(although, again I recommend getting away from that setting to begin
with).

They should schedule their coming together to last for a couple of hours
or even schedule to continue over two meetings (perhaps best of all
because it allows time for reflection in between). They should each be
ready and willing to share their spiritual journey with the other three
and reflect on how their life experience might have shaped it. The
Page 17 of 28
others should listen with complete acceptance, with respectful
questioning, with confirmation from their own journey. It should be a
place of rest and reflection and perhaps of growing insight a real Way-
Side Tryst.

People who partner each other in this deepening by foursomes must not
expect to do so forever. I do not believe they should do it more often
than twice. They should move on separately to join up with other
people and share different experiences.

I shared my ideas with an American woman, Jane Dwinell, who wrote
8 l S
speaker at the GA a couple of years ago on growing congregations. She
recommended that I should develop them because she thought they
could enhance the spiritual development of individuals and, in time, of a
whole congregation.

This not an intellectual Build Your Own Theology group nor is it a
confessional group. We are interested in spirituality which, I would
contend, is beyond theology or morality. The important difference
between such a Way-Side Tryst and an Engagement Group is that in this
way of deepening the spiritual life of a congregation everybody is
allowed to choose who they will share with and who they will not. It
could be seen as a stage before an Engagement Group which is
theoretically open to anyone when a Way-Side Tryst is more protected.
Finally the small size of the group at the Way-Side Tryst may encourage
even the most confident and assertive and well- defended of us to dig a
little deeper into the softer more vulnerable side of ourselves and bring
light within where perhaps a certain protective dimness reigned before.
My hope is that such an experiment could later help people who had low
confidence and perhaps low trust of some others in the congregation to
move towards the more open sharing of an Engagement Group. But, of
course it is really for everyone.
Iain Brown
Page 18 of 28
My Journey, by Fran Pitt

How did I get from tub- L C 1
Unitarian Chapel?

W -box C of E, and from gabby
adolescence I heaped scorn on those who believed in God, claiming
church was just a club for the needy and snobs massaging holier-than-
thou egos - C
In my thirties, having met committed Christians who impressed with
their serenity, I moderated my attitude: I began to think that my atheism
was maybe just a tad too arrogant.

Increasingly, I looked at Christianity and shook my head over the
unpalatable bits, reaffirming my agnosticism. But, like many before me, I
puzzled over God outside of religion, until I had a revelation. I looked at
a starry night sky and thought, as one does, how huge it was. Then, as if
a lens had fallen across my eyes I really saw the true immensity of the
Universe. Wow! Something truly awe-inspiring, vast, ageless, dwarfed
l l
name it.

And I was the only person in the world who thought that way. Then, ten
years ago, looking around buildings during Heritage Open Days, I visited
Mary Street Chapel. I looked at its history, felt its ambience, and I was
told about Unitarianism. Surprise, surprise, other people think as I do!

n l S
habit to acquire, except that the day I found Unitarianism I also found a
lump in my breast. And three days later, whilst I
surgery, planes flew into the Twin Towers. In the personal and earthly
emotional turmoil that followed, I attended a memorial service at Mary
S

The day after cancer was diagnosed, Jo Jarrett, the Lay Pastor
1
Page 19 of 28
home after surgery, my surgeon called to tell me that, to his
l
A l d keep a
typically Unitarian open mind, but I became committed to the chapel
and its members. Even with radiotherapy and the sudden menopause
caused by anti-cancer drugs, the following year was possibly the most
positive and happiest of my life.

l C l l
with my congregation - not especially needy people, not a smug,
preening, self-righteous bunch - as we look to our spiritual welfare and
ly on this world.
Fran Pitt


From there to here, my journey as a Unitarian, by Sue Woolley

Like many Unitarians, I was not brought up in a Unitarian context, and
spent my primary years at a little school, which held assembly every day.
We followed the round of the Christian year, and sang all the lovely
Christian hymns, without questioning their meaning. As a teenager,
doubts began to creep in.

At the age of 18, I had a long conversation with my father, who had been
brought up a Unitarian, but who had not attended church for many
years. He explained that there was an alternative to mainstream
C
requiring you to suspend disbelief. He gave me a copy of A P
little book Beliefs of a Unitarian, and it had a profound effect on me. So
l
Page 20 of 28
I was a member of various Unitarian congregations during my twenties
l l irst service, at
n u C
Peter Galbraith had just retired, and we had decided to try to take
services between ourselves. It took me about three weeks to put
together, and every element was rehearsed aloud and timed anxiously.
Fortunately, they seemed to like it, and I took another service a few
months later.

Gradually, as I got more experienced, I started to be invited to lead
services elsewhere in the Midlands, and then learned about the brand-
new Worship Studies Course, which I signed up for in March 2006, and
completed in February 2007, much to the consternation of one of the
tutors, who thought I was rushing things. But my point of view was that
l l ervice a week, so why not do
l inary and Advanced Steps
of the WSC to anyone. The tutors are brilliant, and give honest,
constructive and wise advice about how to put together a decent
service.

The last few years have been amazing. I became District Facilitator of the
Midland Unitarian Association in March 2008, which has led to leading
worship all over the Midlands, which I love. In September 2008, I
became Secretary of the newly-resurrected Unitarian Association for Lay
Ministry, and am SO PROUD of how far we have come since then! I was
accepted for ministry training in 2009, and started at Harris Manchester
College Oxford in September 2009. I also did a Diploma in Biblical &
Theological Studies at Regents Park College Oxford, which was
fascinating.

l u l ! l
taking on leadership of the Banbury Unitarian Fellowship as well, which I
l
C
Sue Woolley

Page 21 of 28
Evening Worship (UALM Conference Nov 2011), by Iain Brown

I have never met Peter Godfrey that I remember and, if we did ever
meet, I guess he will remember it no better than I. But twice in the last
few days I have come across writings of his. Just yesterday in the
corridor here at Hucklow, I read a letter of his in The Inquirer arguing
that it mattered less whether you were a Christian Unitarian or a non-
Christian but rather that you should follow your truth. Then last week I
was reading the latest edition of Faith and Freedom in an article by him
8 1 l u
Williams, formerly a Professor of Astronomy at University College,
London and a Unitarian. P l C C l
the Universe has been created to house a civilisation that exists for only
one millionth of the age of the Universe. Surely this could not be the
intention of a Creator God? A Creator God made a Universe containing
billions of galaxies, each containing billions of stars so that one of these
stars could have planet Earth on which we live to worship the Creator.
Can this be right? This speck of dust on which we live is in a Universe
that is a billion, billion times as massive. Did a Creator God really go to
l
Of course he is anthropomorphising God, painting him her or it, rather
as our ancestors did as thinking and having human motives, but he is
making a powerful point in a fascinating article.

In an opinion written in the Inquirer and then a part of an address now
C C ? C
1 S l l l C
that would limit him, her or it and I would almost certainly cease to
believe in such a God that had immediately become too small. Rather,
as I sense or imagine mine, it is the God you and I cannot escape


Like many other people in the Unitarian Church, even the use of the
C
as referring to the traditional Judeo-Christian patriarchal, judgemental
Page 22 of 28
version that I do not believe in. Sometimes when I hear God described

it to please stop the cholera epidemic in Haiti or when God is described
C l W
to God as Love if they want, they can worship Truth as a God or Justice
as a God, but these Gods are much too small to encompass my


Some years ago I took my two daughters to Sanibel, an island off the
East Coast of Florida, a dwelling place of millionaires (we stayed in a
motel) and, if I could have found it among the chaos of the academic
junk yard that is my house, I would have brought you a lovely quiet
restful tape of the gentle rills of the Gulf of Mexico breaking quietly on
the beach among the sand dollars. It was supposed to be for relaxation
but I have never used it.

But some years ago that same place, Sanibel, was covered up to a depth
of twenty five feet in a storm surge from the core of a hurricane when,
no doubt, a few millionaires were killed. Probably many of them
believed their God was Love and appealed to him as they were
drowning. You are entitled, if it pleases you, to go around in a pink haze
of sentimentality believing that God is love and even perhaps especially
l u l
staving off nightmares in children but that is a God I cannot believe in.
Most of us here spend many of our waking hours serving the values of
truth, compassion or love, justice and others. For some of us our lives
are quite dominated by these values, even to the extent that an outsider
might consider us quite driven or even imprisoned by them. Sometimes
these values are in conflict with one another and one of them has to
take precedence over another.

Just for tonight, like Peter Godfrey, I am going to press the case for
truth. I believe that truth is the key value because I believe that, without
truth, our compassion is misdirected and our love is love for an illusion.
Without truth our justice is a cruel farce.
Page 23 of 28
There are the values of the Enlightenment but they are NOT OUR GODS.
They are the values of contemporary humanists but we are more than
just humanists. We reach beyond these human values to seek to
appreciate that which our ancestors called God and is often now called
1 u P l
translated as Existence).

To return to my problems with describing God, in a sense I am creating
for myself an impossible position, painting myself into a corner. If you
are not allowed to describe your God at all for fear of being told he, she
or it is too small, then any articulate companionship in the spiritual life
obviously becomes impossible.

So when I express the impossibility of my believing in any God that I
could define, I must also express my admiration for those people who
are courageous enough to take up the challenge of using words to make
some approximation to what they experience as their God.

There some magnificent examples. Among my favourites is Einstein:
1
l
feeling to anyone who is entirely without it. The individual feels the
nothingness of human desires and aims and the sublimity and
marvellous order which reveal themselves both in nature and in the
world of thought. He looks upon the individual existence as a sort of
prison and wants to experience the universe as a single significant
whole.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the
source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a
stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is
as good as dead: his eyes are closed.'

And, for me, perhaps best of all, is Lao Tzu:


Page 24 of 28
?
?
?
It cannot be known in these ways
Because it is the all-embracing Oneness.
It is not high and light,
Or low and dark.
Indefinable yet continually present,
It is nothing at all.
It is the formless form,
the imageless image.
It cannot be grasped by the imagination.
It has no beginning and no end.
This is the essence of Tao.
Stay in harmony with this ancient presence,
And you will know the fullness of each present moment.

Iain Brown







Page 25 of 28
Deathbed Ministry, by Jim Stearn

You may one day find yourself sitting with a dying person, offering the
last ministry they will receive. I have twice been in this sad, profoundly
moving and yet privileged situation: the first time I busked it, not
knowing anything about what might be expected of me, and fortunately
got things right; the second time I was more prepared, and I pass on
these notes to help you in turn to know a little of what to expect.

The nursing staff are the experts and will be frankly matter-of-fact with
you. This is how they cope and you being gently practical and affirmative
will obviously help them. They will tell you anything they require.
Everyone should be agreed that uninterrupted dying is in progress. The
patient will probably be sedated and on pain control but not on
nutrients or curative medication.

Victorians knew that it was wrong t
to move on. They said goodbye and left the room. We have lost this
etiquette. Relatives may be talking to (or at) the patient, and clasping

Beyond moistening lips these may not be needed. If this is obviously
happening, you can invite them to pray with you in silence. Prayerful
reflection will help to establish if the time has yet come.

It may be a good idea to suggest that a spouse, sibling or child of the
patient needs a break in the fresh air, whilst you take over for a few
L
palm down on it. If you get this right the patient can voluntarily maintain
human contact but withdraw the hand at will. You can teach this to the
near relative(s).

A few calm words of reassurance will surely be appropriate where saying
things requiring engagement would not be not. The last thing I said to a
cous l Ck struggled a bit, and I am sure it
helped.

Page 26 of 28
It will become clear that the time has come to invite everyone in the
room to join in, or bear with, prayer and to add their own. They are
likely to agree very readily. This cascade prayer came to me at the first
bedside:

Dear God,
We pray together:
Let xxxx recover even at this late stage and return to health and
happiness;
If this cannot be, let him/her enjoy a period of pain-free remission
with quality of life;
If this cannot be, let him/her be granted a while to lie awake in
comfort with us, freed from pain;
If even this cannot be, then please in your own good time take
him/her to yourself, granting Your perfect peace and an end to all
pain and distress,
And grant your solace to yyyy (and zzzz etc) who still love
him/her.
Amen

I clearly felt that both of my friends were grateful for this prayer and
took the opportunity it presented. One even raised himself from
sedation and thanked me with his eyes, and fell back. It is very simple.
You feel the difference as it happens. It is traditional and decent to close
the eyes with a pass of the hand. Where there are rules about not
leaving bodies unattended, you may help the staff if you discreetly
volunteer to sit on for a while as they organise affairs- as you may wish
to anyway. This might even take some strain off relatives.

I found relatives grateful and relieved for a peaceful closure when
understanding dawned on them. This was my experience.

Jim Stearn.


Page 27 of 28

Dates for Your Diary

Conflict Resolution Training Seminar
When: Tuesday 28
th
Feb Thursday 1
st
Mar 2012

Where: The Nightingale Unitarian Conference Centre, Great Hucklow,
BUXTON, SK17 8RH
Who: C M 8 8 M
Commissioned by Local Leadership Strategy Group.
More details: Dot Hewerdine, 01257 269 502

Unitarian GA Meetings
When: Tuesday 3
rd
Friday 6
th
April 2012
Where: Keele University, Staffordshire
More details: Andrew Mason, 0207 240 2384

Unitarian Discovery Holiday
When: Monday 9
th
13
th
Friday July 2012
Where: The Nightingale Unitarian Conference Centre, Great Hucklow,
BUXTON, SK17 8RH
Theme: Ways of Seeing all in the eyes of the beholder
More details: Marjorie Walker, 01506 493 612

RE Summer School
When: Saturday 18
th
Saturday 25
th
August 2012
Where: The Nightingale Unitarian Conference Centre, Great Hucklow,
BUXTON, SK17 8RH
Theme: Sacred Living
More details: www.hucklowsummerschool.org.uk

Page 28 of 28

UALM Committee
President: Mr. Malcolm Sadler
Secretary: Mrs. Sue Woolley, UALM, 5 Martins Road, Piddington,
Northampton, NN7 2DN
sue.woolley@virgin.net 01604 870746
Please contact Sue for all general enquiries.

Treasurer: Mr. David Arthur, UALM, 27, Barnes Avenue,
Wakefield, WF1 2BJ
Please contact David for all membership submissions.
You may download an application form from
ualm.org.uk/join.html, and send it, with a cheque for
UALM u

WSC Adm- Mrs. Winnie Gordon: gordonwinnie@yahoo.com
inistrator Please contact Winnie for all course enquiries.

News Ed: Anna Jarvis: annajarvis95@yahoo.com
Please contact Anna for all newsletter submissions.

Member Mrs. Chrissie Wilkie

Member Ms. Mina Coalter