Dana Porter 4.12.

12 Final Proposal/Pitch No Ordinary Plague is a moving story of a fight for justice in a world whose definition of the word is so underappreciated. Barney and Sherin Benzyl are the only people trying to live in the world when this horrific influenza breaks out and turns their quite life upside down. Now they have an all new purpose,; trying to stay healthy and find the truth behind the plague. The idea of this story spun from the real life events that happened in 1918 during the Spanish Flu. This heart riveting story should inspire its audience to take action when it comes to a worthy cause, because, inspiration can come from the simplest outlets. In 1918, the Spanish Flu took hold of the world affecting many countries on many continents. This real epidemic tested the medical field, scientific field, communities, and the government. When this epidemic hits the Chicago, Illinois of my story and all of these groups of people are disturbed with the issues that come along with it. When the flu makes its appearance no one knows how to handle it and the fear of the unknown begins to surface. The government decides that the best way to handle the situation is to put quarantine in place forcing those infected to be cut off from the rest of the world. When these events take place, Outscope Labs, the lab where Sherin Benzyl is a scientist begins to scramble to find a solution to the sickness. The long term goal is set atto finding a cure. but iIn the meantime, they focus on a serum to ease the effects of the flu. Interviews from people who experienced the actual event inspired the personalities for the movie as well as the events. When the real life plague hit communities drew closer than ever to take of one another and to make sure their neighbors and friends were taken care of. The neighborhood that Barney and Sherin live in is small and friendly. When their next door neighbor comes down with the flu, they do their best to make sure he stays in his home but, eventually Eventually, he is taken away from his family to the be quarantined, leaving his family to fend for themselves. This tragedy makes the flu very personal for the main characters and sets them in a very emotional place where they are determined to change things. When the movement of the flu began to move around in different ways it mutated. Soldiers fighting overseas that were seriously affected were sent back home to be treated being sent out at the masses on public transportation. At the same time, people who were less sick went out to of their places of employment. This mix of people brought on a second more deadly strain of the influenza. In No Ordinary Plague, when the second strain hits the city the chaos is sent into overdrive. The carriers of the infectious disease have outrageous symptoms that makes them turn into to monsters essentially, having no control of their emotions. Since they were initially not too happy with being shut off from the world, the influenza sends this emotion into hyperdrive and this virus controls them off of this anger. When the influenza died out and hype of the epidemic died down, scientists researched and studied it and even tried to recreate it so that the world would be more well equipped if it decided to make a re-appearance. The end of the movie will be a not-so-happy ending; it could even be called it a cliff-hanger. At the end of the year when the flu is no longer prominent, the

Comment [AU1]: Katelyn Pomer Comment [AU2]: Correct MLA format includes: -Name, Professor, Course, Date in the top left corner -Last name and page number in the top right corner -Title

Comment [AU3]: Now they have an all new purpose, could stand as its own sentence, as well as trying to stay healthy. By adding the ; you add a soft period allowing the two sentences to be connected. Comment [AU4]: Change to will inspire. Should makes you seem unsure of yourself, while will makes it clear you believe in your product. Comment [AU5]: Does not flow. Revise or rearrange words. For example, hit the Chicago, Illinois area Comment [AU6]: Seems out of place. Try describing why what you have written is relevant to the epidemic hitting Chicago, Il. Comment [AU7]: It will make more sense if you split the two sentences because they are two different thoughts that do not relate. Add a period at the end of cure. Delete but and capitalize in.

Comment [AU8]: Reword. Try: Communities drew closer when the real life plague hit. Trying harder to take care of each other, neighbors and friends. I suggest expanding that sentence. Comment [AU9]: Address him by a name. Comment [AU10]: Run on sentence. Take out but, insert a period, and capitalize Eventually.

Comment [AU11]: Does not make sense. Revise. Comment [AU12]: Essentially is used as a fluff word in this sentence. You do not need it to make your sentence clear. Comment [AU13]: Run on sentence, revise. Comment [AU14]: Repeating the same thing. You are saying when the virus is gone and when the virus is more gone. Comment [AU15]: Repeating the same thing. Research and studied are synonyms for each other. Talk about how they were able to research. Comment [AU16]: Out of place, consider making a new paragraph

audience is brought back to Outscope Labs when scientists can be seen working in a lab. The viewer soon learns they are trying to recreate the deadly strain of the influenza so they can learn more about it. One of the scientists is handling the virus alone with no mask when the vile rolls off of the table and hits the floor shattering in tiny pieces and being released into the air. He quickly cleans up the mess and leaves the lab heading towards the parking lot with a heavy, deadly sounding cough. In the concept introduced in the movie

Comment [AU17]: Good cliff hanger. Comment [AU18]: Incomplete thought

You kept with your idea through the whole thing which benefited your paper. However, you need to clarify what you are saying and who you are saying it about. Many of the information is repeated and may confuse the reader. Try not using the same words to add length. Dont forget about MLA format. It needs to be double spaced and the margins have to be adjusted. As for the structure of your paragraphs, stop using RUN-ON sentences! Focus on the flow of your individual sentences. Sometimes when you wrote something, it did not appear to connect; thus confusing. Complete a single thought and go on with the paragraph. You can always go back and combine sentences for better clarity.