Running head: THE EFFECTS OF SEX LIFE ON MARRIAGE 1

The Effects of Sex Life on Marriage

Parcutela, Bea Joyce B.

University of the Philippines Manila Comm 2_2_2011 MHD3

Prof. Miren Morales

Running head: THE EFFECTS OF SEX LIFE ON MARRIAGE 1

The Effects of Sex Life on Western Marriages

According to the 1998 University of Chicago report, the sexual activity of married couples in the USA is 25 percent to 300 percent greater than those non-married ones. These married couples admit of engaging sex on average of twice a week. On a December 2011 survey by Sarah Jio(2010), she concluded that 12 percent of surveyed couples sleep alone. On a separate survey, only 40 percent of married American women are satisfied with their sex lives while 50 percent of married American men are physically and emotionally content(Niolon, 2010). Nowadays, we hear more about sexless marriages and how it affects the relationship between the husband and wife. Back in the days, these types of marriages are common since it acts on a reliable birth control for all types of cultures that can limit the family size. Now, with the modern methods of family planning that are now available to the world, some couples are still unhappy maybe because they are less likely to have sex due to social expectations or the children they are raising(Parker-Pope, 2009). Parker-Pope(2009) says that couples in sexless marriages are generally unhappy because of a feedback relationship between happiness and sex. We often hear happy couples have more sex, and the more sex they have, the happier they become. Reports also say that those who are in sexless marriages consider having a divorce more than those who are having sex. Having no sex life can bring numerous troubles to marriages. Two people do not simply enter one without being compatible with each other sexually. Though sex is not the primary criterion for a happily ever after, it is vital for a couple to never stop discovering each other, physically and sexually. Sometimes, people get too caught up with the marriage itself that they do not see the signs that could become the causes of their future problems(Berman, 2008). These

Running head: THE EFFECTS OF SEX LIFE ON MARRIAGE 1

people get too blinded with the idea of having a good father or a good mother and it stops them from looking for a good partner. When they realize that their chemistry with their husband/wife is gone or was never really there, they start to look for chemistry in other people, causing infidelity or adultery in a marriage. There are also times where in the lack of familiarity between the couple is not the problem but the stress of a married life. For people with children, a job, a house to take care of and all those taxes that need to be paid, it is very difficult for a married couple to get intimate at the end of the day. They start to live their lives by routine which causes the slow decline of their libidos and the intensity of their intimacy. In an article by Rome Neal(2009), Tara and Chris Patterson experienced the same things when their stressful daily lives caused their sex drives and sex life to decline. It became an issue with the two of them as they question themselves on what the reason is. After counseling and taking advice, the two rekindled their passion for each other by going on dates and being playful with each other. Their sex life went back to normal and their marriage has improved and became better than before. Though people always see marriage as the end of their sex lives, there are actually some perks when one gets married. As told by Sarah Stefanson in her AskMen.com article, the best thing about married sex is that there is trust between you and your partner and that there is no fear when it comes to sharing your sexuality with him/her. Both of you can get your fantasies out in the open as you explore the person you plan to grow old with. Another important perk is that sex can be used whenever the two of you are going through a rut. With that, problems can be solved easier after the both of you become fine with each other again. Also, sex in a marriage can

Running head: THE EFFECTS OF SEX LIFE ON MARRIAGE 1

deepen your sexual relationship because even if your spouse gets freaked out at a certain sexual desire youve shared, he/she is probably not going to run away from you(Silverberg, 2012). Lastly, sex can be an effective way of getting away from all the difficulties and stress work gives to you daily. A relaxing massage from your partner can give spark to you relationship again and intensify the intimacy between the two of you. A marriage needs a sex life whether it is for procreation or not. Most people are happy with their marriage when they have a sex life because of the pleasure sex brings to them. For some, on the other hand, they do not need a good sex life for them to be happy with their spouse. As long as they are on the same page and that both of them are honest to each other when it comes to needs, wants, and desires, a married couple can still be happy with each other(Harriet, 2011).

Running head: THE EFFECTS OF SEX LIFE ON MARRIAGE 1

References:

Parker-Pope, T. (2009). When sex leaves the marriage. Retrieved from: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/03/when-sex-leaves-the-marriage/ Yvkoff, L. (2008). Sexual incompatibility troubles marriages. Retrieved from: http://articles.cnn.com/2008-03-03/living/sexless.marriage_1_marriage-couples-lauraberman?_s=PM:LIVING Neal, R. (2009). Bring the sex back into marriage. Retrieved from: http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500168_162-581561.html Stefanson, S. (n.d). Married sex: Make it better. Retrieved from: http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_500/514_have-hot-married-sex.html Bussel, R. K. (2006). Keeping married sex hot. Retrieved from: http://www.villagevoice.com/2006-08-22/people/keeping-married-sex-hot/ Di Meglio, F. (2012). Married sex: How to keep sex exciting. Retrieved from: http://newlyweds.about.com/od/lovesex/tp/excitingmarriedsex.htm DiscoveryHealth.com writers (n.d). Marriage and sex. Retrieved from: http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/marriage/marriage-and-sex-dictionary1.htm Brisben, P. (n.d). 5 ways to keep your married sex life fresh. Retrieved from: http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=972 Lavin, C. (2011). Can you have a happy marriage without sex? Retrieved from: http://www.creators.com/advice/tales-from-the-front/can-you-have-a-happy-marriagewithout-sex.html Stritof, S. & Stritof, B. (2010). Marital sex statistics. Retrieved from: http://marriage.about.com/cs/sexualstatistics/a/sexstatistics.htm Niolon, R. (2010). The case for marriage: Why married people are happier, healthier, and better off financially. Retrieved from: http://www.psychpage.com/family/library/brwaitgalligher.html