7KH,GHDO

0XVOLPDK
The True Islmic Personality of the Muslim
Woman as Defined in the Qur'n and Sunnah
l.ll ,ll,~>
Dr. Muhammad `Al Al-Hshim
TransIated by
Nairuddn Al-Khab
Revised by
Ibrhm M. Kunna
Ab bbya Sulaimn Abdu-66abur
l~ll _".}l~l.ll,ll-ll,
InternationaI IsIamic PubIishing House
IIPH
1
TRANSLATOR`S FOREWORD
Praise be to Allh (,) The Exalted`, and may the Blessings and peace oI Allh (,) be upon our
beloved Prophet Muhammad (7) Blessings and Peace be upon him`, and his Eamily and Companions.
The Ideal Muslimah: the true Islmic personality oI the Muslim woman as deIined by the Qur`n and
Sunnah oIIers the reader a comprehensive overview oI the woman`s place in the Islmic scheme oI
things. The many roles which a woman may play throughout her liIe - daughter, wiIe, mother, and Iriend
- are explored in detail. Extensive quotations Irom adth and historical accounts oI the lives oI the early
Muslim women provide a vivid picture oI how the Muslim woman at the time oI the Prophet (7) went
about putting Islm into practice; this is an example which Muslim women oI all places and eras may
Iollow in their own lives.
An important point is the Iact that the Iirst chapter addressed the Muslim woman`s relationship with
Allh (,). Dr. Muhammad Ali al-Hshim rightly puts Iirst things Iirst, and reminds readers that we
must pay attention to this most important aspect oI our lives. II our aqdah and worship is sound and
sincere, then other things will begin to Iall into place, insh Allh (Allah wills).
Erom there, the author takes us by stages Irom a woman`s care oI her own selI - body, mind and soul -
to her relationships and dealings with her Iamily, Iriends, neighbours and society as a whole. Ear Irom
being the passive, oppressed victim oI popular stereotype, the Muslim woman is seen to be a whole
person with a valid contribution to make at every level oI community liIe.
This is, above all, an immensely practical book. Dr al-Hshim addresses real issues that Iace Muslim
women throughout the world, and supports every point made with extensive quotations Irom the Qur`n
and padth.
At a time when Muslim women are being increasingly attracted by 'Ieminist theories and 'women`s
studies, this book serves as a timely reminder that the unique and authentic sources oI Islm have always
spoken oI the rights oI women and recognized women as Iull partners in the human venture oI history. The
translation oI this book into English will render this valuable inIormation more readily accessible to Muslims
whose mother-tongue is not Arabic.
Husbands, Iathers, brothers and sons will also beneIit Irom reading this book. Studied in conjunction
with the author`s Ideal Muslim: the Islmic personality as deIined by the Qur`n and Sunnah, it will
enable both men and women to have a deeper insight into the complementary roles oI men and women
and the harmony between the genders envisaged by Islm.
The interpretations oI Qur`nic quotations have been taken Irom the well-known translation by YusuI
Ali. The archaic style oI this translation has been amended and modernized, so that 'thou becomes
'you, 'goeth becomes 'goes, etc.
Many Islmic concepts are diIIicult to express in English, where 'religious words carry much cultural
baggage that gives connotations that do not exist in Arabic. Eor this reason, many Arabic religious terms
have been retained, with explanations given either in the text or in the glossary that may be Iound at the
end oI the book.
May Allh (,) reward the author Ior his eIIorts to educate the Muslims, men and women alike, about
their religion; may He (,) cause this book to be a source oI beneIicial instruction to English-speaking
Muslims; and may He (,) guide us and keep us on the Straight Path.
Nairuddn al-Khab
September 1997
2
Publisher`s Note
At a time when Muslim and Non-Muslim women are being harshly attached and attracted by the
'Ieminist theories and studies this book is a good approach and a reminder that Islm has held women as
highly esteemed and respected. It is enough that the Holy Qur`n contains a Iull chapter on women. The
sources oI Islm i.e. the Holy Qur`n and the Prophetic Traditions have always spoken oI the women`s
rights and made them Iull partners in the human venture oI history more than any other religion or
thought.
Women in Islm are; mothers, sisters, partners, workers, scholars and business owners and managers,
etc.
Though this book outlines the ideal Muslimah personality as it should be according to the Qur`n and
Sunnah Husbands, sons and daughters will also draw very much beneIit Irom it.
A true Muslimah is the one who is alert, knowledgeable, true to herselI as well as to others. She is
righteous, and IaithIul. She balances her obligations to Allh (,), her parents and children. She does not
excel in one thing and neglect the other. She is a Qur`nic example to Iollow-, she is a woman whose
examples to Iollow are the she-companions oI the Messenger (7). Her ideals are the wives oI the
Messenger (7).
The reader will Iind all this and much more in this book, which Dr. Hshm wrote in a Arabic and was
also broadcast on Riydh Radio.
This is his second book IIPH translated into English. We hope the readers will Iind it really
inIormative and comprehensive and pray Allh (,) Ior the best reward Ior them and ourselves. May the
peace and blessing oI Allh (,) be upon Muhammad (7) his household and all his companions.
^chcmmec /. F. /| Iuwcijri
Fiycch, Scuci /rcLic.
Inc 1vcv ^v.invn i. ovv o{ nc cv o.iion nv 1.n nv. i.cn nc
vnon nvnvni,. nc c{on. nc vvic. [noin nv nc oc i. .cv, vc{incv
vnv nv nc in. vc .i, c.cn ovv,, cvc nvn vn, onc ivcoo, nv.
o.ivcv. nc i. v onvn o{ nov c_.ccn.c, vc o nc nvvc, no .on{v.cv ,
vicn vnv nov, vn[v ivcv.. nc c.c.c. nc .c{c.c. vnv vini,
novn nc ic, in ocvicn.c o /n (,) vnv 1i. ^c..cnc (7). nc i. nc
oc novc nv c.c, vc cic.c noc. o cnvvc.
Ini. .oncncn.i.c o[ , I. /1.nin i. v .vvvc .onivion {o ov 1ni.n
cvvc. no i {inv nc [nocvc .onvincv nccin v, cnc{i.iv vnv in.iin.
^v[c vc ov )cvv nc Cnc Iic in ni. cic.:
E Inc 1vcv ^v.in
3
PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION
All praise and blessings be to Allh (,), as beIits His glory and the greatness oI His power. Peace and
Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad (7), the most noble oI the Prophets and Messengers, whom
Allh (,) sent to bring liIe to the Arabs and mercy to the worlds.
Eor a long time, I have been wanting to write a book on the Muslim woman, but Ior too long I was not
able to Iind the means to IulIil this wish, as liIe kept me too busy with other things. But I was still very
keen to write a book that would explain the character oI the righteous Muslim woman who is guided by
the teachings oI her religion, understands its wisdom, Iollows its commandments and adheres to its limits.
Years passed by, when I was preoccupied with other matters, but my interest in this issue grew deeper.
My desire to produce a book on this topic increased because I Ielt that it was oI great importance: it
would cast light on the liIe oI the Muslim woman and explain how her character should be, in accordance
with the will oI Allh (,) and her understanding oI the high status to which Allh (,) has raised her. Eor
years I was determined to write such a book, until Allh (,) blessed me and enabled me to write it in
1410 AH/1994 CE.
The reason Ior my interest in presenting the character oI the Muslim woman stems Irom the
inconsistencies I had noticed in the lives oI contemporary women, whereby they exaggerate some aspects
oI Islm and neglect others.
For example, you might see a Muslim woman
who is pious and righteous, observing all
the rites of her religion, but she
neglects oral and bodily hygiene and does
not care about the offensive smell
emanating from her mouth and body; or she
may pay attention to her health and
hygiene, but is failing to observe all the
rites and acts of worship prescribed by
her religion; or she may be performing all
the acts of worship required, but she does
not have a proper understanding of the
holistic Islmic view of life and
humanity; or she may be religious, but she
does not control her tongue in gatherings
and refrain from gossip and slander; or
she may be religious and knowledgeable,
but she does not treat her neighbours and
friends properly; or she may treat
(female) strangers well, but she is
failing to give her parents the love and
respect that they deserve; or she may be
treating her parents properly, but
neglecting her husband's rights and
failing to be a good wife to him, making
herself look beautiful at women's
gatherings but neglecting her appearance
in front of him; or she may be taking good
care of her husband, but not taking care
of his parents or encouraging him to be
righteous, to fear Allh (,) and to do
good works; or she may respect the rights
of her husband, but she is neglecting her
children and failing to bring them up
4
properly, teach them, direct their
spiritual, physical and mental
development, and monitor the pernicious
influences of their environment; or she
may be paying attention to all that, but
failing to uphold the ties of kinship; or
she may uphold the ties of kinship, but
fail to uphold social ties, focusing only
on her private affairs with no concern for
Muslim men and women in general; or she
may be concerned with both her own and
society's affairs, but she is not taking
care of her own intellectual growth by
continually reading and seeking to
increase her knowledge; or she may be
totally absorbed in reading and studying,
but she ignores her house, her children
and her husband.
What is strange indeed is to see these contradictions, or some oI them, among those who consider
themselves to be educated Muslim women who have beneIited Irom an extensive Islmic education. It
may be a matter oI negligence or carelessness, or it may be a Iailure to Iully understand the idea oI
balance on which Islm bases its holistic view oI man, liIe and the universe, a view which gives
everything the place it deserves in liIe, without neglecting any one aspect at the expense oI another.
The true sources oI Islm, the Qur`n and Sunnah, explain the ideal behaviour which the Muslim woman
should adopt in her relationship with her Rabb (Lord), in her personal development, in her relationships
with others, whether they are related to her or not, and in her social dealings in general. Whoever takes the
time to research these texts will be amazed at their abundance and comprehensiveness: they deal with all
major and minor aspects oI a woman`s liIe, setting out the guidelines Ior a balanced, upright, virtuous liIe
which guarantees happiness and success in this world, and an immense victory and reward in the HereaIter.
I was astounded when I realized how Iar the modern so-called Muslim woman Ialls short oI the noble
level which Allh (,) wants Ior her. Nothing stands between her and the attainment oI that level but the
need to devote herselI to seeking knowledge oI the true Islmic character described in the Qur`n and
Sunnah, which will make her a reIined, noble woman who is distinguished by her Ieelings, thoughts,
behaviour, conduct and dealings and will make her adhere with determination to her religion.
It is oI the utmost importance that a woman does reach that reIined level, because oI the great
inIluence she has in bringing up the next generation, instilling in them virtues and values, Iilling their
lives with love, compassion and beauty, and creating an atmosphere oI security, tranquillity and stability
in the home.
The Muslim woman is the only woman who has the potential to achieve this in a world where modern
women are exhausted and tired oI materialistic philosophies and the wave oI ignorance (fhilivvah) that
has overwhelmed those societies that have gone astray Irom the guidance oI Allh (,). She may achieve
this through knowing who she is and being aware oI the pure intellectual sources oI the Qur`n and
Sunnah and the genuine character which Allh (,) wants her to have, by which she will be distinguished
Irom all other women in the world.
So I began to collect texts Irom the Qur`n and authentic adths which spoke about the character oI
the Muslim woman, and I sorted them according to their subject-matter. This enabled me to draw up an
integrated plan Ior researching personal and general woman`s issues, as Iollows:
1. The Muslim woman and her Rabb (Lord)
2. The Muslim woman and her own selI
3. The Muslim woman and her parents
4. The Muslim woman and her husband
5. The Muslim woman and her children
6. The Muslim woman and her sons-and daughters-in-law
5
7. The Muslim woman and her relatives
8. The Muslim woman and her neighbours
9. The Muslim woman and her Muslim sisters and Iriends
10. The Muslim woman and her community/society
Whilst I was examining these texts, an important Iact became apparent to me, one which we Irequently
overlook. That is, that the mercy oI Allh (,) to the Muslim woman is great indeed. Islm has rescued
her Irom the abyss oI humiliation, (being regarded as valueless) and total subordination to men, and has
raised her to the highest level oI honourable and respected Iemininity, Iree Irom the exhausting burden oI
having to Iend Ior herselI and earn a living; even iI she is rich she does not have to provide Ior herselI.
Islm has made her independent, entitled to dispose oI her own wealth - iI she is wealthy - as she wishes,
and equal with man in human worth and with regard to general religious duties. She has rights and duties,
just as a man has rights and duties. Women and men are equal in the sight oI Allh (,) and may be
rewarded or punished equally.
The blessings oI Islm did not stop at raising women Irom humiliation and backwardness to a level oI
progress, honour, security and protection. Islm is also concerned with the Iormation and development oI
every aspect oI her personality, whether it aIIects her alone or her relationship with her Iamily and society, so
that she may become reIined and highly developed, worthy oI her role as Allh`s (khalfah) on earth.
How does Islm Iorm her personality? How may her development reach such a high level that had
never beIore been attained in the history oI womankind, except in this religion oI Islm?
This is the question to which the reader will Iind the answer in the Iollowing pages. I ask Allh (,) to
accept my work and make it purely Ior His sake. May He beneIit others through it, make it a source oI
reward Ior me in this liIe and the next, and make it a help Ior me on the Day oI Reckoning. May He (,)
guide me through it to what is right, and protect me Irom errors oI thinking, bad intentions, slips oI the
pen, weakness oI arguments and excessive verbiage.
Dr. Muhammad Al al-Hshim
Riyadh
20
th
Shabn 1414 AH
2
nd
1anuary 1994 CE
PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION
Praise be to Allh (,), as beIits His glory and the greatness oI His power. I oIIer the praise oI a humble,
repentant servant who is in need oI His guidance and help. I thank Him Ior the blessings which He (,) has
bestowed upon me, and Ior honouring me with His aid to write this book, which has been so well-received
by its readers and has been more popular than I ever expected. The Iirst and second editions (oI the Arabic
original) sold out within a Iew short months oI publication, and there was a great demand Ior the book, so I
promptly prepared a third edition, with some important revisions and additions, most notably a new chapter,
entitled 'The Muslim woman and her sons- and daughters-in-law.
The circulation oI this book was not conIined only to Arab readers; it has also reached a Turkish
audience. It has been translated by more than one publishing house in Turkey, and tens oI thousands oI
copies have been printed. I have received copies oI two oI these Turkish editions. All this, iI it indicates
anything, shows that there is a great thirst among non-Arab Muslim peoples Ior knowledge Irom the pure
sources oI Islm. There is a deep longing Ior serious, useIul Islmic books Irom the Arab world,
especially on the topic oI the Muslim woman. Publishers are racing to translate this book into their own
languages, so that they could present it to those people who have woken up to the authentic, pure
guidance oI Islm, which oIIers nourishment to their minds and souls. This is the best provision Ior the
Muslim peoples at this time oI reawakening.
I have received oIIers Irom a number oI publishers to translate this book into English and Erench,
which should be done soon, insh Allh.
All praise and glory be to Allh (,); praise be to Allh (,), the Lord oI the Worlds.
6
r. Muhummud 'Al ul-Hshim
Riyudh, 1
th
Shuwwl 1q16, q
th
Murch 1qq6
CHAPTER 1
The Muslim Woman and Her 5DEE
The Believing Womun is Alert
One of the most prominent distinguishing
features of the Muslim woman is her deep
faith in Allh (,), and her sincere
conviction that whatever happens in this
universe, and whatever fate befalls human
beings, only happens through the will and
decree of Allh (,); whatever befalls a
person could not have been avoided, and
whatever does not happen to a person could
not have been made to happen. A person has
no choice in this life but to strive
towards the right path and to do good
deeds - acts of worship and other acts -
by whatever means one can, putting all his
trust in Allh (,), submitting to His
7
will, and believing that he is always in
need of Allh's help and support.
The story oI Hajar oIIers the Muslim woman the most marvellous example oI deep Iaith in Allh (,)
and sincere trust in Him. Ibrm (X) May peace be upon him` leIt her at the Kabah in Makkah, above
the well oI Zam:am, at a time when there were no people and no water in the place. Hajar had no-one with
her except her inIant son Isml. She asked Ibrm (X), calmly and with no trace oI panic: 'Has Allh
(,) commanded you to do this, O Ibrm? Ibrm (X) said, 'Yes. Her response reIlected her
acceptance and optimism: 'Then He (,) is not going to abandon us. (Reported by Bukhr in Kitb al-
Anbiv
1
)
Here was an extremely diIIicult situation: a man leIt his wiIe and inIant son in a barren land, where there
were no plants, no water, and no people, and went back to the distant land oI Palestine. He leIt nothing with
her but a sack oI dates and a skin Iilled with water. Were it not Ior the deep Iaith and trust in Allh (,) that
Iilled Hajar`s heart, she would not have been able to cope with such a diIIicult situation; she would have
collapsed straight away, and would not have become the woman whose name is Iorever remembered night
and day by those who perIorm pajj and Umrah at the house oI Allh (,), every time they drink the pure
water oI Zam:am, and run between the mounts oI 6aI` and Marwah, as Hajar did on that most trying day.
This deep Iaith and awareness had an amazing eIIect on the lives oI Muslim men and women: it awoke
their consciences and reminded them that Allh (,) witnesses and knows every secret, and that He (,) is
with a person wherever he may be. Nothing gives a clearer idea oI that consciousness and Iear oI Allh
(,) at all times than the story oI the young Muslim girl related in 6ift al-6afwah and Wafvt al-Avn
and cited by Ibn al-Jawz in Akm al-Nis (pp. 441, 442):
'Narrated Abdullh ibn Zayd ibn Aslam, Irom his Iather, Irom his grandIather, who said: When I
was accompanying Umar ibn al-Khab (W) May Allh be pleased with him`, on his patrol oI Madnah
at night, he Ielt tired, so he leant against a wall. It was the middle oI the night, and (we heard) a woman
say to her daughter, 'O my daughter, get up and mix that milk with some water. The girl said, 'O
Mother, did you not hear the decree oI Amr al-Muminn (chieI oI the believers) today? The mother said,
'What was that? The girl said, 'He ordered someone to announce in a loud voice that milk should not be
mixed with water. The mother said, 'Get up and mix the milk with water; you are in a place where
Umar (W) cannot see you. The girl told her mother, 'I cannot obey Him (Allh) in public and disobey
him in private. Umar (W) heard this, and told me: 'O Aslam, go to that place and see who that girl is,
and to whom she was speaking, and whether she has a husband. So I went to that place, and I saw that
she was unmarried, the other woman was her mother, and neither oI them had a husband. I came to Umar
(W) and told him what I had Iound out. He called his sons together, and said to them: 'Do any oI you
need a wiIe, so I can arrange the marriage Ior you? II I had the desire to get married, I would have been
the Iirst one to marry this young woman. Abdullh said: 'I have a wiIe. Abdul-Ramn (W) said: 'I
have a wiIe. Aim said: 'I do not have a wiIe, so let me marry her. So Umar (W) arranged Ior her to
be married to Aim. She gave him a daughter, who grew up to be the mother oI Umar ibn Abdul-
Azz.`
This is the deep sense oI awareness that Islm had implanted in the heart oI this young woman. She
was righteous and upright in all her deeds, both in public and in private, because she believed that Allh
(,) was with her at all times and saw and heard everything. This is true Iaith, and these are the eIIects oI
that Iaith, which raised her to the level oI isn. One oI the immediate rewards with which Allh (,)
honoured her was this blessed marriage, one oI whose descendants was the IiIth rightly-guided khalfh,
Umar ibn Abdul-Azz (W).
The Aqdah (Iaith) oI the true Muslim woman is pure and clear, uncontaminated by any stain oI
ignorance, illusion or superstition. This Aqdah is based on Iaith in Allh, (,) the One, the Most High,
the Eternal, Who is able to do all things, Who is in control oI the entire universe, and to Whom all things
must return:
Scy: 'Whc i: iI in Whc:e hcnc: i: Ihe gcverncnce cf c|| Ihing: - Whc prcIecI: |c||], LuI i: ncI
prcIecIec |Ly cny]? |Scy] if ycu kncw. Ihey wi|| :cy, '|lI Le|cng:] Ic /||h, Scy: 'Ihen hcw cre
ycu ce|ucec? (Qur`n 23: 88-89)
1
Bb Y:iffn. See Ibn Hajar, Fat al-Br Shar 6a Bukhr, published by Dr al-MariIah, vol. 6, p. 396.
8
This is the pure, deep Iaith which increases the character oI the Muslim woman in strength,
understanding and maturity, so that she sees liIe as it really is, which is a place oI testing whose results will
be seen on the Day which will undoubtedly come:
Scy: 'lI i: /||h Whc give: ycu |ife, Ihen give: ycu cecIh: Ihen He wi|| gcIher ycu IcgeIher fcr Ihe
Dcy cf JucgemenI cLcuI which Ihere i: nc ccuLI: LuI mc:I men cc ncI uncer:Icnc. (Qur`n
45: 26)
D|d you then th|nk thot We hod creoted you |n jest, ond thot you wou|d not be brought
bock to bs [|or occount]? ((Q Qv vn n 2 2: : 11 11) )
8|essed |s He |n Whose honds |s Dom|n|on; ond He over o|| th|ngs hos Fower - He
Who creoted Deoth ond L||e, thot He moy try wh|ch o| you |s best |n deed; ond He |s
the Exo|ted |n M|ght, O|t-Forg|v|ng. ((QQv v n n & &: : 1122))
On that Day, man will be brought to account Ior his deeds. II they are good, it will be good Ior him,
and iI they are bad, it will be bad Ior him. There will not be the slightest injustice:
IhcI Dcy wi|| every :cu| Le reuiIec fcr whcI iI ecrnec: nc inju:Iice wi|| Ihere Le IhcI Dcy, fcr /||h
i: SwifI in Icking ccccunI. (Qur`n 40: 17)
The Balance (in which man`s deeds will be weighed) will measure everything with the utmost
precision, either in a person`s Iavour or against him:
Ihen :hc|| cnycne whc hc: ccne cn cIcm: weighI cf gccc, :ee iIl /nc cnycne whc hc: ccne cn
cIcm: weighI cf evi|, :hc|| :ee iI. (Qur`n 99: 7-8)
Nothing could be hidden Irom the Rabb (Lord) oI Glory on that Day, not even iI it were as
insigniIicant as a grain oI mustard seed:
We :hc|| :eI up :cc|e: cf ju:Iice fcr Ihe ccy cf JucgemenI, :c IhcI ncI c :cu| wi|| Le cec|I wiIh
unju:I|y in Ihe |ec:I. /nc if Ihere Le |nc mcre Ihcn] Ihe weighI cf c mu:Icrc :eec, We wi|| Lring iI |Ic
ccccunI]: cnc encugh cre We Ic Icke ccccunI. (Qur`n 21: 47)
No doubt the true Muslim woman, when she ponders the meaning oI these bvt (Verses), would think
about that crucial Day and would turn to her Rabb in obedience, repentance and gratitude, seeking to do
as many righteous deeds as she is able, in preparation Ior the HereaIter.
She Worships Allh (,,)
It is no surprise that the true Muslim woman enthusiastically worships her Rabb, because she knows
that she is obliged to observe all the commandments that Allh (,) has enjoined upon every Muslim,
male or Iemale. So she carries out her Islmic duties properly, without making excuses or compromises,
or being negligent.
She Regulurly Pruys Iive Times u uy
She oIIers each oI the Iive daily prayers at its appointed time, and does not let domestic chores or her
duties as a wiIe and mother prevent her Irom doing so. Prayer is the pillar oI the religion - whoever
establishes prayer establishes Iaith, and whoever neglects prayer destroys the Iaith.
2
Prayer is the best and
most noble oI deeds, as the Prophet (7) explained in the padth narrated by Abdullh ibn Masd (W):
l c:kec Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7): 'WhcI ceec i: mc:I Le|cvec Ly /|| h? {,) He :cic, 'Ic cffer ecch
prcyer c: :ccn c: iI i: cue. l c:kec him, 'Ihen whcI? He :cic, 'IrecIing cne: pcrenI: wiIh mercy cnc
re:pecI. l c:kec him, 'Ihen whcI? He :cic, 'J|nc {fighIing) fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h {,)."
3
2
See Iv Ulm al-Dn, 1/147.
3
See Imm al-Baqhaw, Shar al-Sunnah, 2/176 (Kitb al-alh, bb fadl al-alawt al-khams); published by Al-Maktab al-Islm.
9
Prayer is the link between the slave and his Rabb. It is the rich source Irom which a person derives
strength, steadIastness, mercy and contentment, and it is a means oI cleansing the stain oI his or her sins:
Ab Hurayrah (W) narrated:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'WhcI wcu|c ycu Ihink if Ihere were c river running Ly Ihe cccr
cf cny cf ycu, cnc he LcIhec in iI five Iime: every ccy, wcu|c cny Ircce cf cirI Le |efI cn him? Ihe
pecp|e :cic: 'Ihere wcu|c Le nc Ircce cf cirI cn him. He :cic: 'Ihi: i: |ike Ihe five cci|y prcyer:, Ihrcugh
which /||h {,) erc:e: :in:."
4
(Shar al-Sunnah 2/175)
Jbir (W) said that the Messenger oI Allh (7) said:
'Ihe five cci|y prcyer: cre |ike c ceep river f|cwing Ly Ihe cccr cf cny cf ycu, in which he LcIhe: five
Iime: every ccy.
5
Prayer is a mercy, which Allh (,) has bestowed upon His slaves; they seek its shade Iive times a
day and praise their Rabb, gloriIying Him, asking Ior His help and seeking His mercy, guidance and
Iorgiveness. Thus prayer becomes a means oI puriIication Ior those who pray, men and women alike,
cleansing them Irom their sins.
`Utmn ibn `Affn (W) said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'Ihere i: nc Mu:|im per:cn whc, when Ihe Iime fcr prcyer
ccme:, perfcrm: wucu' prcper|y, ccncenIrcIe: cn hi: prcyer cnc Lcw: ccrrecI|y, LuI Ihe prcyer wi|| Le
cn expicIicn fcr Ihe :in: ccmmiIIec pricr Ic iI, :c |cng c: nc mcjcr :in hc: Leen ccmmiIIec. Ihi: i: Ihe cc:e
unIi| Ihe enc cf Iime."
6
(6a Muslim 3/112)
There are very many padths which speak oI the importance oI 6alh and the blessings it brings to
the men and women who pray, and the rich harvest oI beneIits that they may reap thereby, every time
they stand beIore Allh (,) in an attitude oI humility and repentance.
She Muy Attend the -DPDDK (Congregutionul) Pruyer in the Mosque
Islm has excused women Irom the obligation to attend the Jamaah prayer in the mosque, but at the
same time, they are permitted to go out oI the house to attend Jamaah on condition that they dress up well
enough not to cause any temptation. Indeed, the Iirst Muslim women did go out and pray in the mosque
behind the Prophet (7).
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) u:ec Ic prcy |c, cnc Ihe Le|ieving wcmen wcu|c prcy wiIh him, wrcppec
up in Iheir cuIer gcrmenI:: Ihen Ihey wcu|c gc Lcck Ic Iheir hcme:, cnc ncLccy wcu|c reccgnize
Ihem."
7
And:
Ihe Le|ieving wcmen u:ec Ic cIIenc |c prcyer wiIh Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7), wrcppec up in
Iheir cuIer gcrmenI:. Ihen Ihey wcu|c gc Lcck Ic Iheir hcme: cfIer Ihey hcc fini:hec prcying, cnc
nc cne wcu|c reccgnize Ihem Leccu:e cf Ihe ccrkne::."
8
The Prophet (7) used to shorten his prayer iI he heard a child crying, because he understood the
concern the child`s mother would be Ieeling. In a adth whose authenticity is agreed upon he (7) said:
l Legin Ihe prcyer, inIencing Ic mcke iI |engIhy, LuI Ihen l hecr c chi|c crying, :c l :hcrIen my prcyer
Leccu:e l kncw Ihe :Ire:: fccing Ihe mcIher Leccu:e cf hi: crying."
9
Allh (,) showed great mercy to women by sparing them the obligation to oIIer the Iive compulsory
prayers in congregation in the mosque. II He had made this obligatory, it would have placed an intolerable
4
See Kitb al-alh, bb fadl al-alawt al-khams.
5
See 6a Muslim bi shar al-Naww, Kitb al-masfid, bb fadl al-alh al-maktubah fi famaah, 5/170, published by the Head
OIIice oI Academic Research, IIta and Dawah, Saudi Arabia.
6
Kitb al-tahrah, bb fadl al-wudu wal-alh aqbah.
7
Fat al-Br 1/482, bb fi kam tualli al-marah fil-tivab.
8
(Bukhr and Muslim) See Shar al-Sunnah, 2/195, Kitb al-alh, bb tafil alt al-fafr.
9
(Bukhr and Muslim) See Shar al-Sunnah, 3/410, Kitb al-alh, bb takhfif fi amrn vahdath.
10
burden on women, and they would not have been able to IulIil it, just as we see many men Iailing to pray
regularly in the mosque and Iinding themselves with no other choice but to pray wherever they are, in the
workplace or in the home. The woman`s heavy burden oI household chores and attending to the needs oI
her husband and children do not permit her to leave the house Iive times a day; it would be impossible Ior
her to do so. Thus the wisdom behind the limiting oI compulsory attendance at the mosque to men only
becomes quite clear. Her prayer at home is described as being better Ior her than her prayer in the mosque,
but Allh (,) gives her the Ireedom oI choice: she may pray at home iI she wishes, or she may go out to
pray in the mosque. II she asks her husband Ior permission to go out to the mosque, he is not allowed to
stop her, as the Prophet (7) stated in a number oI adth, Ior example:
Dc ncI :Icp ycur wcmen frcm gcing Ic Ihe mc:ue, c|Ihcugh Iheir hcu:e: cre LeIIer fcr Ihem."
10
lf Ihe wife cf cny cf ycu c:k: fcr permi::icn Ic gc Ic Ihe mc:ue, cc ncI :Icp her."
11
The men heeded the command oI the Prophet (7), and allowed their women to go to the mosque
even iI this was against their own wishes. There is no clearer indication oI this than the adth oI
Abdullh ibn Umar, in which he said:
Cne cf 'Umcr: wive: u:ec Ic prcy |c cnc '|:nc' in ccngregcIicn in Ihe mc:ue. She wc: c:kec, 'Why
cc ycu gc cuI {Ic Ihe mc:ue) when ycu kncw IhcI 'Umcr ci:|ike: Ihi: cnc i: c jec|cu: mcn? She :cic,
'WhcI i: :Icpping him frcm fcrLiccing me {Ic cc :c)? He :cic, 'Ihe wcrc: cf Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7):
Dc ncI prevenI Ihe femc|e :ervcnI: cf /|| h {,) frcm cIIencing Ihe mc:ue: cf /|| h {,).""
12
In accordance with the Prophet`s teaching which allowed women to attend the mosque, and Iorbade
men to stop them Irom doing so, the mosques were Iull oI women coming and going, both at the time oI
the Prophet (7), and whenever it was possible in the Iollowing periods. Women would come to pray,
attend lectures and classes, and take part in the public liIe oI Islm. This was the case Irom the time
congregational prayer was prescribed Ior the Muslims. The Muslims used to pray in the direction oI Bayt
al-Maqdis (Jerusalem), beIore the qiblah was changed to the Holy Kabah. When the command oI Allh
(,) to take the Kabah as their qiblah was revealed, the men and women who were praying were Iacing
towards Palestine, so they turned to Iace the direction oI the Kabah, which meant that the men and
women had to change places.
13
The mosque was, and still is, the centre oI light and guidance Ior Muslim men and women; in its pure
environment acts oI worship are perIormed and Irom its minbar messages oI truth and guidance are
transmitted. Erom the dawn oI Islm, the Muslim woman has had her role to play in the mosque.
There are many a reports, which conIirm the woman`s presence and role in the mosque. They
describe how women attended 6alt al-Jumuah, the eclipse prayer, and the Ed prayers, responding to
the call oI the mue::in to join the prayer.
A report in 6a Muslim tells us that Umm Hishm bint prithah ibn al-Numn said:
l never |ecrnec 'C|. Wc''-Cu'n c'-ncc., excepI frcm Ihe FrcpheI {7) him:e|f. He u:ec Ic reciIe iI
frcm Ihe n|ncc every Friccy, when he cccre::ec Ihe pecp|e."
14
Imm Muslim also narrates that the sister oI Amrah bint Abdul-Ramn said:
l |ecrnec 'C|. Wc''-Cu'n c'-ncc. frcm Ihe FrcpheI {7) him:e|f cn Friccy:, when he u:ec Ic
reciIe iI frcm Ihe n|ncc every Friccy."
15
The Prophet (7) taught the Muslims to prepare themselves and present a neat and clean appearance at
Jamaah prayers by encouraging both men and women to take a shower (ghusl):
10
Ab Dwd, 1/221, Kitb al-alh, bb ma faa fi khurf al-nisa ila al-masfd; Amad, 2/76; it is asan li ghavrihi.
11
Fat al-Br, 2/351, Kitb al-adhn, bb istidhan al-marah :awfaha bil-khurf ilal-masfd; 6a Muslim, 4/161, Kitb al-alh, bb
khurf al-nisa ilal-masfid.
12
Fata al-Br, 2/382, kitb al-Jumuah, bb al-idhn lil-nisa bil-khurf ilal-masfid.
13
See Fat al-Br, commentary on 6a Bukhr, 1/506, Kitb al-alh, bb ma faa fil-qiblah; 6a Muslim, 5/10, Kitb al-salh, bb
tawl al-qiblah min al-quds ilal-kabah.
14
6a Muslim, 6/162, Kitb al-fumuah, Bb tahivvah al-masfid wal-imm vukhtub.
15
6a Muslim, 6/160, Kitb al-fumuah, Bb khutbah al-hfah.
11
Whcever ccme: Ic Jcnc'cn, mcn cr wcmcn, :hcu|c Icke c :hcwer fir:I."
16
padth reports also tell us that Asma` bint Ab Bakr (May Allh be pleased with her) attended the eclipse
prayer (alt al-kusf) with the Prophet (7). She could not hear the Prophet`s words clearly, so she asked a
man who was nearby what he was saying. This adth is reported by Bukhr Irom Asma` herselI:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :Iccc up Ic cccre:: u: {cfIer Ihe ec|ip:e prcyer), cnc :pcke cLcuI Ihe Ie:Iing
IhcI c per:cn wi|| uncergc in Ihe grcve. When he menIicnec IhcI, Ihe Mu:|im: pcnickec :cmewhcI, cnc Ihi:
prevenIec me frcm hecring Ihe |cIIer pcrI cf Ihe FrcpheI: :peech. When Ihe huLLuL ciec ccwn, l c:kec c
mcn whc wc: necrLy, 'Mcy /|| h L|e:: ycu, whcI cic Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy cI Ihe enc cf hi:
:peech? He :cic, 'lI hc: Leen revec|ec Ic me IhcI ycu wi|| Le Ie:Iec in Ihe grcve wiIh :cmeIhing :imi|cr in
:everiIy Ic Ihe Ie:I {||tncn) cf Ihe Dc'."
17
Bukhr and Muslim also narrate another report Irom Asma`, in which she says:
Ihere wc: c :c|cr ec|ip:e cI Ihe Iime cf Ihe FrcpheI { 7). l fini:hec whcI l wc: ccing, Ihen l ccme Ic Ihe
mc:ue. l :cw Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :Icncing {in prcyer), :c l jcinec him. He :Iccc fcr :c |cng IhcI l
fe|I l neecec Ic :iI ccwn, LuI l ncIicec c wcmcn whc |cckec weck cnc Iirec cnc :cic Ic my:e|f: Ihi:
wcmcn i: wecker Ihcn l, :c l mu:I ccnIinue Ic :Icnc. Ihen he Lcwec, cnc remcinec in IhcI pc:iIicn fcr c
|cng Iime: Ihen he rci:ec hi: hecc cnc :Iccc fcr :uch c |cng Iime IhcI cnycne whc ccme in cI Ihi: pcinI
wcu|c Ihink IhcI he hcc ncI yeI Lcwec in uk'. He ccmp|eIec Ihe prcyer when Ihe ec|ip:e wc: cver,
Ihen he cccre::ec Ihe pecp|e, prci:ing cnc g|crifying /|| h {,), cnc :cying Ann cc'c."
18
During that golden era, the time oI the Prophet (7), the Muslim woman knew about her religion and
was keen to understand the events and aIIairs that concerned the Muslims in this world and the next.
When she heard the call to prayer, she would rush to the mosque to hear the words oI the Prophet (7)
Irom the minbar, guiding and teaching the people. Eimah bint Qays, one oI the earliest migrant women
(mufirt), said:
Ihe pecp|e were cc||ec Ic prcyer, :c l ru:hec wiIh Ihe cIher: Ic Ihe mc:ue, cnc prcyec wiIh Ihe Me::enger cf
/||h {7). l wc: in Ihe fir:I rcw cf wcmen, which wc: ju:I Lehinc Ihe |c:I rcw cf men."
19
It is clear, Irom the a reports quoted above, that Muslim women attended the mosque on various
occasions and that this attendance was an approved custom at the time oI the Prophet (7). Once, a
woman was attacked on her way to the mosque, but this incident did not make the Prophet (7) have any
reservations about allowing women to go out to the mosque. He still allowed them to do so, and Iorbade
men to prevent them, because there was so much beneIit - spiritual, mental and otherwise - Ior them in
attending the mosque Irom time to time.
Wci| c|-Kinci repcrIec IhcI c wcmcn wc: c::cu|Iec Ly c mcn in Ihe ccrkne:: cf Ihe ecr|y mcrning, whi|:I
:he wc: cn her wcy Ic Ihe mc:ue. She :hcuIec Icc pc::er-Ly fcr he|p, Ihen c |crge grcup cf pecp|e
ccme Ly, cnc :he cc||ec Ic Ihem fcr he|p. Ihey :eizec Ihe mcn Ic whcm :he hcc fir:I cc||ec fcr he|p, cnc
her cIIccker rcn cwcy. Ihey LrcughI Ihe {innccenI) mcn Ic her, cnc he :cic, l cm Ihe cne whc
cn:werec ycur cc|| fcr he|p: Ihe cIher mcn gcI cwcy." Ihey LrcughI him Ic Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7),
cnc Ic|c him IhcI Ihi: mcn hcc c::cu|Iec Ihe wcmcn, cnc Ihey hcc :eizec him whi|:I he wc: running
cwcy. Ihe mcn :cic, l wc: Ihe cne whc cn:werec her cc|| fcr he|p cgcin:I her cIIccker, LuI Ihe:e pecp|e
:eizec me cnc LrcughI me here." Ihe wcmcn :cic, He i: |ying: he i: Ihe cne whc cIIcckec me." Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: Icke him cwcy cnc :Icne him." Ihen c mcn :Iccc up cnc :cic, Dc ncI
:Icne him, :Icne me, fcr l cm Ihe cne whc cic iI." Ncw Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) hcc Ihree pecp|e
Lefcre him: Ihe cne whc hcc c::cu|Iec Ihe wcmcn, Ihe cne whc hcc cn:werec her crie: fcr he|p cnc Ihe
wcmcn her:e|f. He Ic|c Ihe cIIccker, /: fcr ycu, /|| h {,) hc: fcrgiven ycu," cnc he :pcke kinc wcrc: Ic
Ihe cne whc hcc he|pec Ihe wcmcn. 'Umcr :cic, SIcne Ihe cne whc hc: ccmiIIec Ic Ihe crime cf
16
This adth, narrated by Abdullh ibn Umar, is recorded by Ab Awnah, Ibn Khazimah and Ibn pibbn in their 6as;
see also Eat al-Br, 2/357, Kitb al-jumuah, bb Iadl al-ghusl yawm al-Jumu`ah.
17
See Eat al-Br, 3/236, 237, Kitb al-jan`iz, bb ma ja`a Ii adhb al-qabar.
18
See Eat al-Br, 2/529, Kitb al-kusI, bb al-adaqah Ii`l-kusI; 6a Muslim, 6/212, Kitb al-kusI, bb ma arda ala
al-Nab (7) Ii alt al-kusI min al-jannah wa`l-nr.
19
See 6a Muslim, 18/84, Kitb al-Iitan wa ashrt al-saah, bb qdiyyah al-jassah.
12
ccu|Iery." Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: Nc, fcr he hc: repenIec Ic /|| h {,)" - l Ihink he :cic, wiIh cn
ccI cf repenIcnce :c grecI IhcI if Ihe pecp|e cf Mccnch were Ic repenI in Ihi: wcy, iI wcu|c Le
cccepIec frcm Ihem."
20
The Prophet (7) appreciated the circumstances oI the women who attended the congregational
prayers, so he used to be kind to them and would shorten the prayer iI he heard a child crying, so that the
mother would not become distressed - as we have seen in the adth quoted above (see Ioot note. 9). Once
he delayed the ish prayer, and Umar (W) called him saying:
Ihe wcmen cnc chi|cren hcve gcne Ic :|eep." Ihe FrcpheI {7) ccme cuI cnc :cic, Nc-cne cn ecrIh
i: wciIing fcr Ihi: prcyer excepI ycu."
21
Many a reports describe how the Prophet (7) used to organize women`s attendance at
congregational prayers, Ior example, the adth reported by Muslim:
Ihe Le:I rcw: fcr men cre Ihc:e cI Ihe frcnI, cnc Ihe wcr:I cre Ihc:e cI Ihe Lcck: Ihe Le:I rcw: fcr
wcmen cre Ihc:e cI Ihe Lcck, cnc Ihe wcr:I cre Ihc:e cI Ihe frcnI."
22
Another adth, reported by Bukhr, deals with giving the women room to leave the mosque beIore
the men, aIter the prayer is over. Hind bint al-parith said that Umm Salmah, the wiIe oI the Prophet
(7), told her that at the time oI the Prophet (7), when the obligatory prayer was over, the women
would get up to leave, and the Messenger oI Allh (7) and the men who were with him would wait as
long as Allh (,) willed. When the Messenger oI Allh (7) got up to leave, then the men would get
up.
23
Bukhr and Muslim also report a adth concerning how women should draw the imm`s attention to
something during the prayer by clapping. Sahl ibn Sa`d al-Sa`id said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic, 'Why cc l :ee ycu c|cpping :c much? Whcever ncIice: cny errcr in my
prcyer :hcu|c :cy Sucnn A''n," fcr Ly ccing :c he wi|| c|erI me Ic Ihe errcr. C|cppingi: cn|y fcr
wcmen."
24
The number oI women who attended the mosque increased daily until - at the time oI the Abbsids -
they Iilled the courtyard oI the mosque, and men would have no choice but to pray behind them. This was
the verdict (fatw) oI Imm Mlik, as recorded in Al-Mudawwanah al-Kubr: Ibn al-Qsim said, I asked
Mlik about people who come to the mosque and Iind the courtyard (oI the mosque) Iilled with women,
and the mosque itselI Iilled with men: may those men pray with the imm behind the women? Mlik
said: 'Their prayer is valid; they do not have to repeat it.
25
But women`s going out to the mosque should not be a cause oI fitnah, and women should behave in
accordance with Islmic teachings oI purity oI thought and behaviour. II Ior any reason there is the Iear oI
fitnah associated with women`s going out to the mosque, then it is better Ior women to pray at home, and
they should do so. This is what is indicated by the adth oI Ibn Umar, quoted above, in which the Prophet
(7) said:
Dc ncI :Icp ycur wcmen frcm gcing Ic Ihe mc:ue, c|Ihcugh Iheir hcu:e: cre LeIIer fcr Ihem."(See
Ioot note. 10)
It appears that some men Ieared the possibility oI fitnah, and took this as an excuse to Iorbid their
women to go to the mosque. This is why the Prophet (7) Iorbade men to prevent women Irom attending
the mosque Irom time to time. This is what is indicated in the Iirst part oI the adth quoted above. Other
adth conIirm the Prophet`s keenness Ior women to attend gatherings in the mosque, Ior example, the
report oI Mujhid ibn Umar: 'The Prophet (7) said:
20
Reported by Amad, see silsilah al-padth al-aah, no. 900, 2/601.
21
See Fat al-Br, 2/347, Kitb al-adhn, bb khurf al-nisa ilal-masfid; 6a Muslim, 5/137, Kitb al-masfid, bb waqt al-isha wa
takhriha.
22
6a Muslim, 4/159, Kitb al-alh, bb tawivvah al-suff wa iqmatiha.
23
See Fat al-Br, 2/349, Kitb al-adhn, bb intidr al-ns qivm al-imm al-alim.
24
(Bukhr and Muslim) See Shar al-Sunnah, 3/273, Kitb al-alh, bb al-tasbh idha nabaha shav fil-alh.
25
Al-Mudawwanah, 1/106.
13
'Dc ncI prevenI Ihe wcmen frcm gcing Ic Ihe mc:ue cI nighI Cne cf Ihe :cn: cf '/Lcu|| h iLn 'Umcr
:cic, 'We wi|| ncI |eI Ihem gc cuI Leccu:e iI wi|| give ri:e Ic cevicIicn cnc :u:picicn. lLn 'Umcr reLukec
him cnc :cic, 'l Ie|| ycu IhcI Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :cic :uch-cnc-:uch cnc ycu :cy, Nc, we wi|| ncI
|eI Iheml"
26
Bill ibn Abdullh ibn Umar reported Irom his Iather that the Prophet (7) said:
Dc ncI ceny Ihe wcmen Iheir :hcre cf Ihemc:ue, if Ihey c:k ycur permi::icn." 8i| | :cic, 8y /||h {,),
we wi|| mc:I cerIcin|y prevenI Ihem {frcm gcing Ic Ihe mc:ue)l" '/Lcu|| h {hi: fcIher) :cic Ic him: l Ie||
ycu IhcI Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic :uch-cnc-:uch, cnc ycu :cy 'We wi|| mc:I cerIcin|y prevenI
Iheml"
27
The Prophet (7) said:
Dc ncI prevenI ycur wcmen frcm cIIencing Ihe mc:ue if Ihey :eek ycur permi::icn Ic cc :c."
28
Dc ncI prevenI Ihe femc|e :ervcnI: cf /|| h {,) frcm cIIencing Ihe mc:ue: cf /|| h {,)."
29
lf ycur wcmenfc|k :eek ycur permi::icn Ic gc Ic Ihe mc:ue, Ihen |eI Ihem cc :c."
30
It is permissible Ior Muslim women to attend the gatherings oI the Muslims in the mosque, and there is
much to be gained Irom them doing so, but certain conditions apply to this permission, the most important oI
which is that the woman who goes to the mosque should not wear perIume or make-up. Zaynab al-
ThaqaIiyyah reported that the Messenger oI Allh (7) said:
lf cny cf ycu {wcmen) wi:he: Ic cIIenc '|:n prcyer, :he :hcu|c ncI wecr perfumeIhcI nighI."
31
Numerous other padth also Iorbid women to wear perIume when they go to the mosque, Ior example:
lf cny cf ycu {wcmen) gce: Ic Ihe mc:ue, :he :hcu|c ncI wecr perfume."
32
/ny wcmen whc hc:
perfumec her:e|f wiIh incen:e :hcu|c ncI cIIenc '|:n prcyer: wiIh u:."
33
She Attends 'Ld Pruyers
Islm has honoured woman and made her equal with man as regards obligatory acts oI worship.
Women are also encouraged to attend public gatherings on Ed al-Fir and Ed al-Aa, so that they
may take part in these blessed occasions. This is demonstrated in a number oI padth reported by Bukhr
and Muslim, in which we see that the Prophet (7) commanded that all the women should come out on
these occasions, including adolescent and prepubescent girls, those who usually remained in seclusion, and
virgins; he even commanded that menstruating women should come out, to take part in the joyous
occasion, but they were to keep away Irom the prayer-place itselI. His concern that all women should
attend the prayer on the two Ed was so great that he ordered the one who had more than one filbb (outer
garment) to give one to her sister who had none. In this way he encouraged both the attendance oI all
women at Ed prayers and mutual support and help to do good and righteous deeds.
Umm Aiyyah said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccmmcncec u: Ic Lring cuI Ic Ihe 'Ec prcyer: Ihe ccc|e:cenI cnc
prepuLe:cenI gir|:, Ihc:e whc u:uc||y remcinec in :ec|u:icn, cnc virgin:, cnc he crcerec Ihc:e whc were
men:IrucIing Ic keep cwcy frcm Ihe prcyer-p|cce."
34
We {wcmen) u:ec Ic Le ccmmcncec Ic gc cuI cn Ihe Iwc 'Ec:, inc|ucing Ihc:e whc u:uc||y :Icyec in
26
See 6a Muslim, 4/161, 162, Kitb al-alh, bb khurf al-nisa ilal-masfid.
27
Ibid., 4/162, 163.
28
Ibid., 4/161
29
Fat al-Br, 2/382, Kitb al-fumuah, bb al-idhn lil-nisa bil-khurf ilal-masfid; 6a Muslim, 4/161, Kitb al-alh, bb khurf al-
nisa ilal-masfid.
30
6a Muslim, 4/161, kitb al-alh, bb khurf al-nisa ilal-masfid.
31
Ibid., 4/163
32
Ibid., 4/163
33
Ibid., 4/163
34
Ibid., 6/178, 179, Kitb alt al-idavn, bb ibdah khurf al-nisa fil-idavn ilal-musalla.
14
:ec|u:icn, cnc virgin:. Ihe men:IrucIing wcmen wenI cuI Icc, cnc :Icyec Lehinc Ihe pecp|e, jcining in
Ihe tckc|t."
35
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccmmcncec u: Ic Icke Ihem cuI cn 'Fc c'-F| cnc 'Fc c'-Ac, Ihe
ccc|e:cenI cnc prepuLe:cenI gir|:, Ihe men:IrucIing wcmen, cnc Ihc:e whc u:uc||y remcinec in
:ec|u:icn, :c IhcI Ihey ccu|c :hcre in Ihe fe:Iive cccc:icn: cf Ihe Mu:|im:,LuI Ihe men:IrucIing wcmen
were ncI Ic prcy.
l :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /||h {7), cne cf u: cce: ncI hcve c |'cc. He :cic, 'LeI her :i:Ier cre:: her in cne cf
her cwn |'cc:."
36
Bukhr reports:
Muhcmmcc iLn Sc||m Ic|c u: IhcI '/Lcu|-WchhL repcrIec frcm /yyL frcm pcfch LinI Sirn, whc :cic:
'We u:ec Ic prevenI cur prepuLe:cenI gir|: frcm gcing cuI cn Ihe Iwc 'Fc:."
A woman came and stayed at the castle oI Ban KhalI, and reported something Irom her sister. Her
sister`s husband had taken part in twelve military campaigns with the Prophet (7), and her sister herselI
had accompanied him on six oI them. She said: 'We used to take care oI the sick and wounded. Her
sister asked the Prophet (7): 'Is there anything wrong iI one oI us does not have a filbb and never goes
out Ior that reason? He said: 'Let her Iriend give her one oI her filbbs, so that she can come out and join
the righteous gatherings oI the Muslims.` paIah said: When Umm Aiyyah arrived, I went to her and
asked her, 'Did you hear the Prophet (7) say that? She said, 'May my Iather be sacriIiced Ior him, yes
I did. |She never mentioned him without saying 'may my Iather be sacriIiced Ior him|. I heard him say,
Let the young girls who usually stay in seclusion, or the young girls and those who usually stay in
seclusion, and the menstruating women, go out and attend the righteous gathering oI the believers, but let
the menstruating women keep away Irom the prayer-place itselI.`` paIah said: I asked her, 'Even the
menstruating women? She said, 'Yes, are menstruating women not present at AraIah and on other
occasions?`
37
Bukhr also narrates another report Irom Umm Aiyyah, in which she says:
We u:ec Ic Le ccmmcncec Ic gc cuI cn Ihe ccy cf 'Fc, cnc we even LrcughI Ihe virgin: cuI cf Iheir
:ec|u:icn, cnc Ihe men:IrucIing wcmen, whc wcu|c :Icy Lehinc Ihe pecp|e, jcining in Iheir tckc|t cnc cu'c':,
hcping fcr Ihe L|e::ing cnc puriIy cf IhcI ccy."
38
These a padth give a clear indication oI the Prophet`s concern Ior the intellectual and spiritual
beneIit oI women. He ordered all the women to go out to the Ed prayer, including those who were
menstruating, even though menstruating women are excused Irom praying and are not allowed to enter
the prayer-place itselI. But his call was addressed to all women, because oI his concern that they should
take part in these two blessed events and attend the righteous gathering oI the Muslims, joining in the
takbirt and duas, and being a part oI the public liIe oI Islm which is discussed in the khutbah
Iollowing the Ed prayer.
The Prophet (7) was concerned with the teaching and guidance oI women, and wanted them to play
a part in building the Muslim society, so he devoted part oI his khutbah to women. He would come to the
place where the women were gathered, and exhort and remind them, and he made doing this a duty oI the
imm. We Iind this in a adth narrated by Bukhr and Muslim Irom Ibn Juray, who said:
'/Ic Ic|c me: l hecrc JLir iLn '/Lcu||h :cy: 'Ihe FrcpheI {7) :Iccc up cn Ihe cccc:icn cf 'Fc c'-F|
cnc |ec Ihe pecp|e in prcyer. He Legcn Ihe prcyer Lefcre Ihe knutccn. Ihen he cccre::ec Ihe pecp|e.
When Ihe FrcpheI cf /||h {7) hcc fini:hec hi: knutccn, he ccme Ic Ihe wcmen cnc :pcke Ic Ihem,
whi|:I |ecning cn 8i||: crm, cnc 8i|| :precc cuI hi: c|cck fcr Ihe wcmen Ic puI Iheir cccqcn in iI." l |lLn
Jurcy] :cic Ic '/Ic, 'Wc: iI Zckt c'-||? He :cic, 'Nc, iI wc: Ihe cccqcn IhcI Ihey gcve cI IhcI Iime:
cne wcmcn Ihrew her ring inIc iI, Ihen cIher: fc||cwec her |ecc. l :cic Ic '/Ic, 'l: iI c cuIy ncwcccy: fcr
35
Ibid., 6/179, Kitb alt al-idavn, bb ibhah khurf al-nisa fil-idavn ilal-musalla.
36
Ibid., 6/180, Kitb alt al-idavn, bb ibhah khurf al-nisa fil-idavn ilal-musalla.
37
Fat al-Br, 2/469, Kitb al-idavn, bb idha lam vukun laha filbb fil-id.
38
Fat al-Br, 2/469, Kitb al-idavn, bb idha lam vukun laha filbb fil-id.
15
Ihe |nn Ic ccme Ic Ihe wcmen cnc cccre:: Ihem when he hc: fini:hec hi: knutccn? He :cic, 'lI mc:I
cerIcin|y i:. Ihi: i: c cuIy cn Ihem {|nn:): whcI i: wrcng wiIh Ihem IhcI Ihey cc ncI cc IhcI ncwcccy:?"
39
According to this adth, the Prophet (7) exhorted and reminded the women, and accepted the
adaqah that they themselves willingly gave. Another adth, also narrated by Bukhr and Muslim Irom
Ibn Abbs (W) via Ibn Tws adds that the Prophet (7) also reminded the women oI their bavah (oath
oI allegiance) and reconIirmed their adherence to it. Ibn Abbs said:
l cIIencec 'Fc prcyer: wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7), cnc {cfIer hi: cecIh) wiIh /L 8ckr, 'Umcr cnc 'UIhmn. /|| cf
Ihem u:ec Ic perfcrm Ihe prcyer Lefcre Ihe knutccn. Ihe FrcpheI {7) ccme ccwn {frcm Ihe n|ncc) - cnc iI
i: c: if l ccn :ee him ncw, ge:Iuring Ic Ihem Ic :iI ccwn - Ihen he wcu|c ccme Ihrcugh Ihe crcwc, unIi| he
recchec Ihe wcmen. 8i|| wc: wiIh him, cnc he reciIec:
C FrcpheIl When Le|ieving wcmen ccme Ic ycu Ic Icke Ihe ccIh cf fec|Iy Ic ycu, IhcI Ihey wi|| ncI
c::ccicIe cnyIhing whcIever wiIh /||h. (Qur`n 60: 12)
Until the end oI the bvah. Then he said, Are you adhering to that?` Only one woman answered,
Yes, O Prophet oI Allh (7),` and he did not know at that time who she was
40
. He said, Then give
adaqah,` and Bill spread out his cloak. The Prophet (7) said, Come on, may my Iather and my
mother be sacriIiced Ior you!` So they began to throw their rings and jewellery onto Bill`s cloak.
41
There is no doubt that the Prophet (7) addressed the women in the Ed prayer-place, reminding
them about their religion, and that he took charity Irom them, reconIirmed their adherence to their oath oI
allegiance, enjoined them to remember the teachings oI Islm, and motivated them to do good works. All
oI this was achieved by calling them to attend the congregational prayer on both Eds. This is indicative
oI the importance oI congregational prayer in the liIe oI the Muslim individual and the Islmic society.
Although Islm does not oblige women to attend congregational prayer in the mosque, whenever
women gather together, they are encouraged to oIIer the fard prayers in congregation. In this case, the one
who is leading them in prayer should stand in the middle oI the (Iirst) row, not in Iront, and they do not
have to recite the adhn or iqmah. This is what Umm Salamah, the wiIe oI the Prophet (7), used to do
when she led other women in prayer.
42
She Pruys Sunnuh und 1DILO Pruyers
The Muslim woman does not limit herselI to the Iive daily obligatory prayers; she also prays those
sunnah prayers which the Prophet (7) used to perIorm regularly (al-rawtib), and prays as many oI the
nafil (supererogatory) prayers as her time and energy allow. These prayers include alt al-du, sunnah
prayers Iollowing maghrib, and prayers oIIered at night. Nafil prayers bring a person closer to Allh (,),
earn him or her the love and pleasure oI Allh (,), and make him or her one oI the victorious, obedient and
righteous ones. There is no clearer indication oI the great status attained by the believer who draws closer to
Allh (,) by perIorming nafil deeds than the adth qudsi:
My :ervcnI ccnIinue: Ic crcw necr Ic Me wiIh :uperercgcIcry wcrk: :c IhcI l wi|| |cve him. Wh en l |cve
him, l cm hi: hecring wiIh which he hecr:, hi: :eeing wiIh which he :ee:, hi: hcnc wiIh which he :Irike:,
cnc hi: fccI wiIh which he wc|k:. Were he Ic c:k |:cmeIhing] cf Me, l wcu|c :ure|y give iI Ic him: cnc
were he Ic c:k Me fcr refuge, l wcu|c:ure|y grcnI him iI."
43
Because oI Allh`s (,) love Ior His servant, that person will be loved by the inhabitants oI heaven and
earth, as is described in a report narrated by Ab Hurayrah in which the Prophet (7) said:
When /||h {,) |cve: cne cf Hi: :ervcnI:, He cc||: JiLri| {X) cnc Ie||: him: 'l |cve :c-cnc-:c, :c |cve him.
Ihen JiLri| {X) wi|| |cve him, cnc wi|| prcc|cim Ic Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf hecven: '/|| h {,) |cve: :c-cnc-:c, :c
|cve him. Sc Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf hecven wi|| |cve him Icc, cnc he wi|| Le we|| cccepIec Ly Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf
39
Fat al-Br, 2/466, Kitb al-idavn, bb mawi:ah al-imm al-nisaa vawm al-id, 6a Muslim, 6/174, Kitb alt al-idavn.
40
Ibn Hajar mentioned in Fat al-Br, 2/468, that she was Asma` bint Yazd ibn al-Sakan, who was known as the spokeswoman Ior the
women, and was a very conIident woman.
41
Fat al-Br, 2/466, Kitb al-idavn, bb mawi:at al-imm al-nisaa vawn al-id; 6a Muslim, 6/171, Kitb alt al-idavn.
42
See Ibn al-Jawz, Akm al-nisa, 186, 204 (Beirt edition); Ibn Qudmah, al-Mughni, 2/202 (Riyadh edition).
43
Fat al-Br, 11/341, Kitb al-riqq, bb al-tawadu
16
Ihe ecrIh. lf /||h {,) hcIe: cne cf Hi: :ervcnI:, He cc||: JiLri| {X) cnc Ie||: him: 'l hcIe :c-cnc-:c, :c hcIe
him. Ihen JiLri| {X) wi|| hcIe him cnc wi|| prcc|cim Ic Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf hecven: '/|| h {,) hcIe: :c-cnc-:c,
:c hcIe him. Ihen Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf hecven wi|| hcIe him cnc he wi|| c|:c Le ceIe:Iec Ly Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf
Ihe ecrIh."
44
The Prophet (7) used to pray so much at night that his Ieet would become swollen. bishah (May
Allh be pleased with her) asked him: 'Why do you do this, O Messenger oI Allh (7), when Allh (,)
has Iorgiven all your past and Iuture sins? He answered, 'Should I not be a grateIul servant?
45
The Prophet`s wiIe Zaynab (May Allh be pleased with her) used to perIorm nafil prayers, and make
them lengthy. She put up a rope between two columns (in the mosque), so that when she Ielt tired and
exhausted she could lean against it and restore her energy. The Messenger oI Allh (7) entered the
mosque, saw the rope, and asked, 'What is this? The people told him, 'It belongs to Zaynab: she prays,
and when she Ieels tired, she leans against it. He said, 'Untie it; let any oI you pray as long as he has the
energy to do so, and iI he Ieels tired, he can sit down (or: let him sit down).
46
/ wcmcn cf 8cn /:cc, whc:e ncme wc: /|-pcw|c LinI Iuwcy, u:ec Ic prcy c|| nighI, cnc never :|eep.
Cne ccy :he cc||ec cn 'bi:hch when Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: pre:enI. 'bi:hch Ic|c him, Ihi: i: /|-pcw|c
LinI Iuwcy. Ihey :cy IhcI :he never :|eep: cI nighI." Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: She never :|eep:
cI nighIl Dc cn|y c: much c: ycu ccn, fcr Ly /|| h {,), /||h {,) never geI: Iirec, c|Ihcugh ycu cc."
47
The Prophet (7) encouraged Muslim men and women to do more nafil deeds, but at the same time he
told them to be balanced in their approach to worship, and disliked exaggeration therein. He wanted the
Muslims to have a balanced personality, so that their worship would be enthusiastic, but consistent, and
would not be so burdensome that people would not be able to persist in it. He also taught that the most
beloved deed in the sight oI Allh (,) is that which is done continuously, even iI it is a little, as is stated in
the adth in which bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said: 'The Messenger oI Allh (7) said:
'Ihe mc:I Le|cvec ceec Ic /|| h {,) i: IhcI which i: ccnIinucu:, even if iI i: |iII|e." lf 'bi:hch :IcrIec Ic cc
:cmeIhing, :he wcu|c cchere Ic iI.
48
This attitude oI keeping up the habit oI doing righteous deeds was not conIined to bishah alone; it
was the attitude oI all members oI the Prophet`s household, and oI those who were nearest and dearest to
him. We see this in the adth reported by Muslim Irom bishah (May Allh be pleased with her):
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) hcc c mcI which he u:ecfcr mcking c ccmpcrImenI cI nighI in which he
wcu|c prcy, cnc Ihe pecp|e Legcn Ic prcy wiIh him: he u:ec Ic :precc Ihe mcI curing Ihe ccy Iime. Ihe
pecp|e crcwcec crcunc him cne nighI. He Ihen :cic, 'C pecp|e, perfcrm cn|y :uch ccI: c: ycu cre
ccpcL|e cf ccing, fcr /||h {,) cce: ncI grcw wecry LuI ycu wi|| geI Iirec. Ihe ccI: mc:I p|ec:ing Ic /|| h
{,) cre Ihc:e which cre ccne ccnIinucu:|y, even if Ihey cre :mc||. /nc iI wc: Ihe hcLiI cf Ihe fcmi|y cf
Muhcmmcc {7) IhcI whenever Ihey cic cny ceec Ihey ciciI ccnIinucu:|y."
49
She PerIorms Her Pruyers Properly
The true Muslim tries hard to perIorm her prayers properly, with deep concentration and precision oI
physical movements. She thinks about the meaning oI the bvt she is reciting, and the words oI praise and
gloriIication that she is uttering. Her soul is Ilooded with Iear oI Allh (,), and with gratitude to Him and
sincere worship oI Him. II the Shaitan happens to whisper some idea to her during the prayer, to distract her
Irom concentrating properly, to keep him away she Iocuses on the words that she is reciting Irom the Qur`n,
and the words oI praise that she is uttering.
The Muslim woman does not rush back to her housework and chores when she has Iinished her
prayer. Rather, as the Prophet (7) used to do, she asks Allh (,)`s Iorgiveness by saying 'Astaghfir-
44
6a Muslim, 16/184, Kitb al-birr wal-adab wal-silah, bb idha aabba Allhu abdan.
45
(Bukhr and Muslim) See Shar al-Sunnah 4/45, Kitb al-alt, bb al-iftihd fi qivm al-lavl.
46
See 6a Muslim, 6/72, 73, Kitb alt al-musafirn, bb fadilat al-aml al-daim.
47
Ibid., 6/73.
48
Ibid., 6/72.
49
See 6a Muslim, 6/70-72, Kitb alh al-musafirn, bb fadilah al-aml al-daim.
17
Allh three times, and repeats the dua: 'Allahumma anta al-salm wa minka al-salm, tabaraka va
dhal-falali wal-ikrm |(O Allh (,), You are Peace and Irom You comes peace, Blessed are You, O
Rabb oI majesty and honour.)|
50
Then she repeats the adhkr and duas that the Prophet (7) is known
to have recited aIter completing his prayer. There are many such adhkr
51
, one oI the most important oI
which is to repeat 'Subhn Allh thirty-three times, 'Al-hamdu lillh thirty-three times, 'Allhu akbar
thirty-three times, then to complete one hundred with 'La illaha ill-Allh wahdahu l sharika lah, lahul-
mulk wa lahul-hamd, wa huwa ala kulli shavin qadr. According to a a adth, the Prophet (7)
said:
Whcever g|crifie: /||h {,) {:cy: :ucnn A''n) cfIer every prcyer IhirIy Ihree Iime:, prci:e: /|| h {,) {:cy:
c'-ncncu '|''n) IhirIy Ihree Iime:, cnc mcgnifie: /|| h {,) {:cy: A''nu ckcc) IhirIy-Ihree Iime:, which ccc:
up Ic nineIy-nine, Ihen ccmp|eIe: cne huncrec Ly :cying Lc |''cnc |''-A''n wcnccnu ' :nc|kc 'cn. 'cnu''-
nu'k wc 'cnu''-ncnc. wc nuwc 'c'c ku''| :ncy|n qcc, hi: :in: wi|| Le fcrgiven, even if Ihey were |ike Ihe
fccm cf Ihe :ec."
52
Then she turns to Allh (,) humbly asking Him to correct all her aIIairs, in this world and the next,
and to bless her abundantly and guide her in everything.
Thus the Muslim woman Iinishes her prayers, puriIied in heart and mind and reinvigorated with a dose
oI spiritual energy, which will help her to cope with the burdens oI everyday liIe, knowing that she is
under the protection oI Allh (,). She will not panic iI anything bad beIalls her, nor will she become
miserly iI she enjoys good Iortune. This is the attitude oI those righteous women who pray and Iear Allh
(,):
Iru|y mcn wc: crecIec very impcIienI: FreIfu| when evi| Icuche: him: cnc niggcrc|y when gccc
recche: him. NcI :c Ihc:e cevcIec Ic Frcyer. Ihc:e whc remcin :Ieccfc:I Ic Iheir prcyer: /nc Ihc:e in
whc:e wec|Ih i: c reccgnizec righI Fcr Ihe |neecy] whc c:k: cnc him whc i: prevenIec |fcr :cme
rec:cn frcm c:king] (Qur`n 70: 19-25)
She Puys =DNK on Her Weulth
The Muslim woman pays :akh on her wealth, iI she is wealthy enough to be liable Ior :akh. Every
year at a speciIied time, she calculates how much she owns and pays what she has to, because :akh is a
pillar oI Islm, and there can be no compromise or excuse when it comes to paying it every year, even iI
the amount comes to thousands or millions. It would never occur to the true Muslim woman to try to
avoid paying some oI the :akh that she is obliged to pay.
Zckn i: c c|ecr|y-cefinec fincncic| cL|igcIicn cnc ccI cf wcr:hip which /|| h {,) hc: enjcinec upcn every
Mu:|im, mcn cr wcmen, whc cwn: Ihe minimum cmcunI { n|:c) cr mcre. WiIhhc|cing zckn, cr cenying
IhcI iI i: cL|igcIcry, i: IcnIcmcunI Ic cpc:Ic:y {|cccn) cnc ku|, fcr which c per:cn mcy Le fcughI cnc
even ki||ec, unIi| cr un|e:: he pcy: in fu|| c: reuirec Ly l:| m. Ihe wcrc: cf /L 8ckr {W) ccncerning Ihe
cpc:IcIe: whc wiIhhe|c Iheir zckn echc ccwn Ihe cenIurie: Ic u:: 8y /|| h {,) l wi|| fighI whcever
:epcrcIe: 6c't frcm zckn."
53
These immortal words demonstrate the greatness oI this religion, which made the connection between
'religious and 'secular aIIairs, and reveal Ab Bakr`s deep understanding oI the nature oI this
integrated, holistic way oI liIe, which combines abstract belieIs with the practical application oI their
principles. Many bvt oI the Qur`n conIirm the interdependence oI 6alt and :akh in the structure oI
Iaith:
.Ihc:e whc e:IcL|i:h regu|cr prcyer cnc regu|cr chcriIy. (Qur`n 5: 55)
/nc Le :Ieccfc:I in prcyer: prccIi:e regu|cr chcriIy. (Qur`n 2: 43)
50
Ibid., 5/89, 90, Kitb al-masfid, bb istihbb al-dhikr bad al-salh.
51
See Imm al-Naww, Rivdh al-6lin, p. 621, Kitb al-adhkr, bb fadl al-dhikr wal-hathth alavhi; 6a Muslim, 5/83-95, Kitb al-masfid,
bb al-dhikr bad al-salt.
52
See 6a Muslim, 5/95, Kitb al-masfid, bb al-dhikr bad al-alh.
53
See 6a Muslim, 1/207, Kitb al-imn, bb wufb qitl trk ahad arkn al-Islm.
18
.|Ihc:e whc] e:IcL|i:h prcyer: cnc regu|cr chcriIy (Qur`n 2: 277)
It is clear to the true Muslim woman that Islm - although it has given her the right to Iinancial
independence, and has not obliged her to support herselI or others, which is, rather, the duty oI men - has
indeed enjoined :akh on her, and has made :akh a right to which the poor are entitled. So the Muslim
woman would not hesitate to pay it in the ways prescribed by shariah. She cannot claim to be excused
because she is a woman and no woman is obliged to spend on others. Any woman who makes such a claim
has a poor understanding oI Islm, her Iaith is weak and there is some Iault in her personality. Or else she is
a woman who appears to be religious, but she is ignorant and negligent, or is stingy and loves money, and it
would never occur to her to pay :akh even though she Iasts, prays and perIorms pajj, and occasionally
gives a small charitable donation Irom her great wealth. These types oI women - ignorant or stingy - are
nothing like the true Muslim woman as envisaged by Islm.
She Iusts uring the uy und Pruys ut Night in Rumun
The true Muslim woman Iasts the month oI Raman, and her soul is Iilled with Iaith that: 'Whoever
Iasts Raman out oI Iaith and hope oI reward, all his previous sins will be Iorgiven.
54
She has the
attitude oI one who truly Iasts, whose Iaculties keep away Irom all kinds oI sins that may invalidate the
Iast or diminish its reward. II she Iinds herselI exposed to the trials oI hostility or argument, she Iollows
the Prophet`s advice to men and women who Iast:
When cny cf ycu i: fc:Iing, he :hcu|c ncI uIIer fcu| wcrc: cr rci:e hi: vcice in cnger. lf Ihen cnycne
prcvcke: cr fighI: him, he :hcu|c :cy, 'l cm cL:erving c fc:I."
55
Whcever cce: ncI give up fc|:e :peech cnc evi| ccIicn:, /|| h {,) hc: nc neec cf hi: giving up hi: fccc cnc
crink."
56
During Raman, the true Muslim woman Ieels that she is immersed in the atmosphere oI a month
unlike any other, when good deeds should be multiplied and the gates oI goodness should be opened wide.
She knows that her Iasting during this month should be only Ior Allh (,), and that He will give the reward
Ior it, Ior the reward oI Allh (,), the BountiIul and MuniIicent, is greater and vaster than anyone could
even imagine:
Ihe rewcrc fcr every gccc ceec cf Ihe :cn: cf bccm {X) wi|| Le mu|Iip|iec cnywhere LeIween Ien cnc
:even huncrec Iime:. /||h {,) :cic: 'ExcepI fcr fc:Iing, Leccu:e iI i: fcr Me cnc l My:e|f wi|| give
reccmpen:e fcr iI. He give: up hi: fccc cnc hi: pc::icn fcr Me. Fcr Ihe cne whc fc:I:, Ihere cre Iwc Iime:
cf rejcicing, cne when he Lreck: Ihe fc:I, cnc cne when he meeI: hi: Fccc. Veri|y Ihe :me|| IhcI ccme:
frcm Ihe mcuIh cf cne whc i: fc:Iing i: mcre p|ec:ing Ic /|| h {,) Ihcn Ihe :cenI cf mu:k."
57
ThereIore the wise Muslim woman must strike a balance, during this all-too-short blessed month,
between her domestic duties and the opportunity this month brings to draw closer to Allh (,) through
worship and good deeds. She should not let her household chores distract her Irom perIorming the
obligatory prayers at the appointed times, or Irom reading Qur`n or praying nafil prayers. Nor should she
let traditional late-night Iamily gatherings keep her Irom praying Qivm al-lavl and tahaffud, and making
dua. She knows the great reward and abundant Iorgiveness that Allh (,) has prepared Ior those who
stay up to pray during the night in Raman:
Whcever :penc: Ihe nighI in prcyer curing Fcmcn cuI cf fciIh cnc hcpe cf rewcrc, c|| hi: previcu: :in:
wi|| Le fcrgiven."
58
The Prophet (7) used to strive to do
more good deeds during Raman than at
other times, especially during the last
54
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/217, Kitb al-ivm, bb thawb man sama Raman.
55
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Riv al-6lin, p. 570, Kitb al-faail, bb fi amr al-im bi hif: lisani w fawariii an al-mukhalift.
56
Fat al-Br, 4/116, Kitb al-awm, bb man lam vada qawl al-:ur wal-aml bih fil-awm.
57
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/221, Kitb al-awm, bb fadl al-awm.
58
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 4/116, Abwb al-nawafil, bb qivm shahr Raman wa fadluhu.
19
ten days of it: `bishah (May Allh be
pleased with her) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) u:ec Ic :Irive curing Fcmcn, cnc e:pecic||y Ihe |c:I Ien ccy: cf iI, mcre
Ihcn he u:ec Ic cI cIher Iime:."
59
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) also said:
When Ihe |c:I Ien ccy: cf Fcmcn Legcn, Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) wcu|c :Icy up fcr Ihe whc|e
nighI, wcke hi: fcmi|y up, :Irive exIrc hcrc, cnc cL:Icin frcm mcriIc| re|cIicn:."
60
The Prophet (7) used to command the Muslims to seek lavlat al-qadr, and encouraged them to spend
that night in prayer:
Seek 'cy'ct c'-qcc curing Ihe |c:I Ien ccy: cf Fcmcn."
61
Whcever :penc: Ihe nighI cf 'cy'ct c'-qcc in prcyer cnc wcr:hip cuI cf fciIh cnc hcpe cf rewcrc, c|| hi:
previcu: :in: wi|| Le fcrgiven."
62
This blessed month is a time that is purely Ior worship. The serious-minded Muslim woman has no time
to spend on chatting and idle pursuits throughout the night. She should not be among those who while away
the night until dawn approaches, whereupon she oIIers her Iamily something to eat and they Iall into a deep
sleep, and may even miss the fafr prayer!
The true Muslim woman and her Iamily should live an Islmic liIe during Raman, striving to
organize themselves in such a way that when they all come back Irom tarwh prayers, they do not
stay up Ior too long, because in a Iew short hours` time, they will get up to pray qivm al-lavl and
then eat suhr, Ior the Prophet (7) commanded us to eat suhr, as there is much beneIit in it:
EcI :un, fcr in :un Ihere i: L|e::ing."
63
The true Muslim woman helps all the members oI her Iamily to get up Ior suhr, in obedience to the
command oI the Prophet (7) and in the hope oI obtaining the blessings oI suhr, such as the reminder to
pray qivm al-lavl, and encouragement to go out to the mosque to pray fafr in congregation, as well as the
physical beneIits oI strengthening the body Ior the day`s Iast. This is what the Prophet (7) used to do
and trained his Companions to do likewise: Zayd ibn Thbit (W) said:
We cIe :un wiIh Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7), Ihen we gcI up Ic prcy." Scmecne c:kec, Hcw much
Iime wc: Ihere LeIween Ihe Iwc?" He :cic: FifIy byt |i.e. Ihe Iime iI wcu|c Icke Ic reciIe fifIy byt]."
64
There is no doubt that Allh (,) will increase the reward oI the Muslim woman who is the means oI
bringing these blessings to her Iamily during Raman:
/: Ic Ihc:e whc Le|ieve cnc wcrk righIecu:ne::, veri|y We :hc|| ncI :uffer Ic peri:h Ihe rewcrc cf
cny whc cc c |:ing|e] righIecu: ceec. (Qur`n 18: 30)
She Observes 1DILO Iusts
The true Muslim woman also observes nafil Iasts at times other than Raman, iI it is not too diIIicult
Ior her to do so. So she Iasts the day oI AraIt, and Ashura`, and the ninth day oI Muarram, because
Iasting on these days and others is one oI the righteous deeds that may expiate sins, as the Prophet (7)
told us: Ab Qatdah (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) wc: c:kec cLcuI fc:Iing cn Ihe ccy cf '/rcf I, cnc he :cic: 'lI i: cn
expicIicn fcr Ihe :in: cf Ihe previcu: yecr cnc Ihe currenI yecr."
65
59
6a Muslim, 8/70, Kitb al-awm, bb al-iftihd fil-ashar al-awkhir min shar Raman.
60
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/389, Kitb al-ivam, bb al-iftihd fil-ashar al-awkhir.
61
( Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/380, Kitb al-ivam, bb ma faa fi lavlat al-adr.
62
( Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/379, Kitb al-ivam, bb ma faa fi lavlat al-qadr.
63
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/251, Kitb al-ivam, bb fadl al-suhr.
64
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/253, Kitb al-ivam, bb fadl al-suhr.
65
6a Muslim, 8/51, Kitb al-ivm, bb istibb ivm vawm Araft.
20
lLn '/LL: {W) :cic IhcI Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) fc:Iec Ihe ccy cf '/:hurc, cnc ccmmcncec cIher: Ic
fc:I cn Ihi: ccy Icc.
66
/L CcIcch {W) :cic IhcI Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) wc: c:kec cLcuI fc:Iing cn Ihe ccy cf '/:hurc,
cnc he :cic: lI i: cn expicIicn fcr Ihe :in: cf Ihe previcu: yecr."
67
Ibn Abbs said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'lf l cm :Ii|| c|ive nexI yecr, l wi|| fc:I cn Ihe ninIh ccy {cf Mucrrcm)."
68
Easting six days oI Shawwl is also encouraged, as the Prophet (7) said:
Whcever fc:Iec Fcmcn Ihen fc||cwec iI wiIh :ix ccy: cf Shcww|, iI wi|| Le c: if he fc:Iec fcr c |ifeIime."
69
It is also recommended to Iast Ior three days oI each month, concerning which Ab Hurayrah (W)
said:
My cecre:I frienc |{i.e., Ihe FrcpheI {7)] ccvi:ec me Ic cc Ihree Ihing:: Ic fc:I fcr Ihree ccy: cf ecch
mcnIh, Ic prcy Iwc ck'cn: cf u prcyer, cnc never Ic :|eep unIi| l prcy w|t."
70
Ab Darda` (W) said:
My Le|cvec frienc {7) ccvi:ec me Ic cc Ihree Ihing: IhcI l :hc|| never give up c: |cng c: l |ive: Ic fc:I
Ihree ccy: cf ecch mcnIh, Ic prcy u, cnc ncI Ic :|eep unIi| l hcve prcyecw|t."
71
Abdullh ibn Amr ibn al-bs (W) said: 'The Messenger oI Allh (7) said: 'Fc:Iing fcr Ihree ccy: cf
ecch mcnIh i: |ike fc:Iing fcr cn enIire |ifeIime."
72
Some reports describe these three days as being the thirteenth, Iourteenth and IiIteenth oI each month,
which are called al-avvm al-bd (the white days); other reports state that the Prophet (7) used to Iast on
three unspeciIied days oI each month.
Muadhah al-Adawiyyah said:
l c:kec 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her), 'Dic Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) u:ec Ic fc:I Ihree ccy:
in ecch mcnIh? She :cic, 'Ye:. l c:kec her, 'ln which pcrI cf Ihe mcnIh cic he u:ec Ic fc:I? She :cic,
'He cic ncI minc in which pcrI cf Ihe mcnIh he wcu|c fc:I."
73
She Goes on ppujj to the Sucred House oI Allh (,,)
The true Muslim woman intends to go on pajj to the House oI Allh (,) when she is able to do so and
it is easy Ior her to travel. BeIore she sets out on her journey, she takes the time to study the rules (akm)
oI pajj in depth, so that when she begins to perIorm the rituals oI pajj, her actions will be based on true
understanding and her pajj will be complete according to the conditions laid down by the shariah. It will
also be the equivalent oI fihd Ior men, as the Prophet (7) described it in a adith narrated by bishah
(May Allh be pleased with her):
l |'bi:hch] :cic: 'C Me::enger cf /||h {7), ccn we {wcmen) ncI gc cuI cn mi|iIcry expeciIicn: cnc fighI
in |nc wiIh ycu {men)? He :cic, 'Ycu {wcmen) hcve Ihe Le:I cf |nc, cnc Ihe Le:I cf iI i: pcjj, c L|e::ec
pcjj." 'bi:hch :cic, l :hcu|c never :Icp gcing fcr pcjj cfIer l hecrc Ihi: frcm Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7)."
74
66
6a Muslim, 8/12, Kitb al-ivm, bb awm vawm ashura.
67
6a Muslim, 8/51, Kitb al-ivm, bb istibb ivm vawm ashura.
68
6a Muslim, 8/13, Kitb al-ivm, bb awm vawm ashura.
69
6a Muslim, 8/56, Kitb al-ivm. bb istabb ivam sittat avm min shawwl.
70
Fat al-Br, 4/226, Kitb al-awm, bb ivm avm al-bid; 6a Muslim, 5/234, Kitb alt al-musfirn, bb istibb alt al-duha.
71
6a Muslim, 5/235, Kitb alt al-musfirn, bb istibb alt al-duha.
72
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/362, Kitb al-ivm, bb awm al-dahr.
73
Sa Muslim, 8/48, Kitb al-ivm, bb istibb ivm thalthat avvm min kulli shar.
74
Fat al-Br, 4/72, Kitb fa:a al-savd, bb aff al-nisa.
21
She Goes Ior '8PUDK
Just as pajj is obligatory Ior the Muslim woman, so also is Umrah, iI she is able to go - especially
Umrah during Raman, the reward Ior which is equivalent to that Ior perIorming pajj with the Prophet
(7). This is seen in the adth narrated by Imm Bukhr Irom Ibn Abbs (W) who said:
When Ihe FrcpheI {7) ccme Lcck frcm pcjj, he :cic Ic Umm Sinn c|-/n:riyych, 'WhcI :Icppec ycu
frcm gcing Ic pcjj? She :cic, '/L :c-cnc-:c - mecning her hu:Lcnc - hc: Iwc ccme|:: he Icck cne Ic
gc Ic pcjj, cnc we neec Ihe cIher Ic irrigcIe cur |cnc. He :cic, 'When Fcmcn ccme:, gc fcr 'Uncn,
fcr 'Uncn in Fcmcn i: c pcjj." /cccrcing Ic cncIher repcrI c|:c ncrrcIec Ly lLn '/LL:, Ihe FrcpheI
{7) :cic: Fcr 'Uncn in Fcmcn i: euivc|enI Ic {perfcrming) pcjj wiIh me."
75
She is Obedient to the Communds oI Allh (,,)
The true Muslim woman does not Iorget that she is duty bound to perIorm all the religious duties that
Allh (,) has commanded her to do. In this regard her situation is the same as that oI a man, and there is
no diIIerence between them except in a Iew regulations which apply exclusively to either men or women.
Other than that, women and men are equally responsible beIore Allh (,). Allh (,) says:
Fcr Mu:|im men cnc wcmen, fcr Le|ieving men cnc wcmen, fcr cevcuI men cnc wcmen, fcr Irue
men cnc wcmen, fcr men cnc wcmen whc cre pcIienI cnc ccn:IcnI, fcr men cnc wcmen whc
humL|e Ihem:e|ve:, fcr men cnc wcmen whc give in chcriIy, fcr men cnc wcmen whc fc:I |cnc
ceny Ihem:e|ve:], fcr men cnc wcmen whc gucrc Iheir chc:IiIy, cnc fcr men cnc wcmen whc
engcge much in /||h: prci:e - fcr Ihem hc: /||h prepcrec fcrgivene:: cnc grecI rewcrc. (Qur`n
33: 35)
Whcever wcrk: righIecu:ne::, mcn cr wcmcn, cnc hc: FciIh, veri|y, Ic him wi|| We give c new Life,
cnc |ife IhcI i: gccc cnc pure, cnc We wi|| Le:Icw cn :uch Iheir rewcrc ccccrcing Ic Ihe Le:I cf
Iheir ccIicn:. (Qur`n 16: 97)
/nc Iheir Fccc hc: cccepIec cf Ihem, cnc cn:werec Ihem: 'Never wi|| l :uffer Ic Le |c:I Ihe wcrk
cf cny cf ycu, Le he mc|e cr femc|e: ycu cre memLer:, cne cf cncIher: Ihc:e whc hcve |efI Iheir
hcme: cnc were criven cuI Iherefrcm, cnc :ufferec hcrm in My Ccu:e, cnc fcughI cnc were :|cin -
veri|y, l wi|| L|cI cuI frcm Ihem Iheir iniuiIie:, cnc ccmiI Ihem inIc Gcrcen: wiIh river: f|cwing
LenecIh - c rewcrc frcm Ihe Fre:ence cf /||h, cnc frcm Hi: Fre:ence i: Ihe Le:I cf rewcrc:.
(Qur`n 3: 195)
Whenever the phrase 'v avvuhal-ns (O people or O mankind) appears in the Qur`n or padth, it
includes both men and women. Evidence oI this may be Iound in the adth narrated by Imm Muslim
Irom the Prophet`s wiIe Umm Salamah (May Allh be pleased with her), who said:
l u:ec Ic hecr Ihe pecp|e Ic|king cLcuI A'-ncw {Ihe ci:Iern), cnc l hcc never hecrc cLcuI iI frcm Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7). Cne ccy, whi|:I c ycung gir| wc: ccmLing my hcir, l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf
/||h {7) :cying C pecp|el" l :cic Ic Ihe ycung gir|, Lecve me c|cne ncw." She :cic, IhcI cc|| i: fcr
men cn|y: he i: ncI cc||ing Ihe wcmen." l :cic, l cm cne cf Ihe pecp|e." Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7)
:cic: l cm Ihe cne whc wi|| Le cI Ihe ci:Iern {in Ihe HerecfIer) Lefcre ycu. Sc Le ccrefu|, |e:I cne cf ycu
:hcu|c ccme Ic me cnc Le criven cwcy |ike c :Ircy ccme|. l wi|| c:k Ihe rec:cn why, cnc l wi|| Le Ic|c,
'Ycu cc ncI kncw whcI inncvcIicn: Ihey wrcughI cfIer ycur cecIh, cnc l wi|| :cy, '/wcy wiIh Iheml"
/cccrcing Ic cncIher repcrI c|:c ncrrcIec Ly Mu:|im, he { 7) :cic: .cnc l wi|| :cy, '/wcy, cwcy wiIh
Ihe cne whc chcngec {Ihere|igicn) cfIer my cecIhl"
76
Men and women are equal beIore Allh (,), and both must pay heed to His commands and
prohibitions. So the Muslim woman does what Allh (,) has commanded and keeps away Irom what He
has Iorbidden, believing that she will be questioned about what she did in this liIe: iI they are good, it will
75
Fat al-Br, 4/72, Kitb fa:a al-savd, bb aff al-nisa
76
6a Muslim, 15/56, 54, Kitb al-fail, bb haw nabivvina (7) wa ifftuhu.
22
be good Ior her, and iI they are bad, then it will be bad Ior her. She does not transgress the limits laid
down by Allh (,), and does not do anything that is arm. She always seeks the ruling oI Allh (,) and
His Messenger, and accepts it no matter what happens to her in her liIe.
Islmic history is Iilled with the stories oI great women who kept the rule oI Allh (,) in mind at all
times and did not deviate Irom it or look Ior alternatives. Among these stories is that oI Khawlah bint
Thalabah and her husband Aws ibn al-Smit, narrated by Imm Amad and Ab Dwd, and quoted by
Ibn Katheer in his tafseer oI the beginning oI Srat al-Mufdilah. Khawlah said:
8y /||h {,), ccncerning me cnc /w: iLn c|-SmiI, /||h {,) revec|ec Ihe Leginning cf Sct c'-Muc|'cn.
l wc: mcrriec Ic him, cnc he wc: cn c|c mcn whc wc: Lcc-Iemperec. Cne ccy, he ccme in cnc l rci:ec
c pcrIicu|cr i::ue wiIh him cgcin: he Leccme cngry cnc :cic, 'Ycu cre Ic me c: I he Lcck cf my mcIher.
Ihen he wenI cuI cnc :cI fcr c whi|e in Ihe meeIing-p|cce cf hi: pecp|e. Ihen he ccme Lcck, cnc
wcnIec Ic re:ume mcriIc| re|cIicn: wiIh me. l :cic, 'Nc wcyl 8y Ihe hcnc cf Ihe Cne in Whc:e hcnc i: Ihe
:cu| cf Khuwcy|ch {i.e., Khcw|ch), ycu wi|| never geI whcI ycu wcnI frcm me cfIer :cying whcI ycu :cic,
unIi| /||h {,) cnc Hi: Me::enger cecice LeIween u:. He Iriec Ic fcrce him:e|f cn me, LuI l wc: cL|e Ic
re:i:I Leccu:e l wc: c ycung wcmcn cnc he wc: c weck c|c mcn. l pu:hec him cwcy , Ihen l wenI Ic
cne cf my {femc|e) neighLcur: cnc Lcrrcwec c c|cck frcm her cnc wenI Ic Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7).
l :cI Lefcre him, Ic|c him whcI {my hu:Lcnc) hcc ccne Ic me, cnc Legcn Ic ccmp|cin Ic him cLcuI my
:uffering: Leccu:e cf my hu:Lcnc: Lcc Iemper. Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic, 'C Khuwcy|ch, ycur
ccu:in i: cn c|c mcn, :c fecr /|| h {,) wiIh regcrc Ic him. l cic ncI |ecve him unIi| Ihe Cur n wc:
revec|ec ccncerning me: he wc: cverccme c: he u:uc||y wc: when Ihe Cur n wc: revec|ec Ic him, cnc
when iI wc: cver, he :cic: 'C Khuwcy|ch, /|| h {,) hc: revec|ec Ihe Curn ccncerning ycu cnc ycur
hu:Lcnc. Ihen he reciIec Ic me:
/||h hc: inceec hecrc |cnc cccepIec] Ihe :IcIemenI cf Ihe wcmcn whc p|ecc: wiIh ycu
ccncerning her hu:Lcnc cnc ccrrie: her ccmp|cinI |in prcyer] Ic /||h: cnc /||h |c|wcy:] hecr: Ihe
crgumenI: LeIween LcIh :ice: cmcng ycu: fcr /||h hecr: cnc :ee: |c|| Ihing:]. lf cny men cmcng ycu
civcrce Iheir wive: Ly cn|n
77
|cc||ing Ihem mcIher:], Ihey ccnncI Le Iheir mcIher:: ncne ccn Le
Iheir mcIher: excepI Ihc:e whc gcve Ihem LirIh. /nc in fccI Ihey u:e wcrc: |LcIh] iniuiIcu: cnc
fc|:e: LuI Iru|y /||h i: Cne IhcI L|cI: cuI |:in:], cnc fcrgive: |cgcin cnc cgcin]. 8uI Ihc:e whc civcrce
Iheir wive: Ly cn|n, Ihen wi:h Ic gc Lcck cn Ihe wcrc: Ihey uIIerec - |iI i: crccinec IhcI :uch c cne]
:hcu|c free c :|cve Lefcre Ihey Icuch ecch cIher: Ihi: cre ycu ccmcni:hec Ic perfcrm: cnc /||h i:
we||-ccucinIec wiIh |c||] IhcI ycu cc. /nc if cny hc: ncI |Ihe wherewiIhc|], he :hcu|c fc:I fcr Iwc
mcnIh: ccn:ecuIive|y Lefcre Ihey Icuch ecch cIher. 8uI if cny i: uncL|e Ic cc :c, he :hcu|c feec :ixIy
incigenI cne:. Ihi:, IhcI ycu mcy :hcw ycur fciIh in /||h cnc Hi: Me::enger, Ihc:e cre |imiI: |:eI Ly]
/||h. Fcr Ihc:e whc rejecI |Him], Ihere i: c grievcu: Fenc|Iy. (Qur`n 58: 1-4)
He Ic|c me, 'LeI him re|ec:e c :|cve. l :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /|| h {7), he cce: ncI hcve Ihe mecn: Ic cc
IhcI. He :cic, 'Ihen |eI him fc:I fcr Iwc ccn:ecuIive mcnIh:. l :cic, '8y /|| h {,), he i: cn c|c mcn, he i: ncI
cL|e Ic cc IhcI. He :cic, 'Ihen |eI him feec :ixIy pccr pecp|e wiIh c wc:q
78
cf ccIe:. l :cic, 'C Me::enger
cf /||h {,), he cce: ncI hcve IhcI much. He :cic, 'Ihen we wi|| he|p him wiIh c |cq
79
cf ccIe:. l :cic,
'/nc l wi|| he|p him wiIh cncIher |cq, C Me::enger cf /||h {,). He :cic, 'Ycu hcve ccne righI cnc ccne
we||. Gc cnc give iI in chcriIy cn hi: Lehc|f, Ihen Icke ccre cf ycur ccu:in prcper|y. /nc l cic :c."
80
Khawlah bint Thalabah could not bear to stay Ior one moment with her husband aIter he had spoken
the words oI dhihr to her, which was a Iorm oI divorce at the time oI fhilivvah, until she had reIerred
the matter to the Prophet (7), so that she might know how Allh (,) would judge between her and her
husband. She did not even have a suitable garment with which to go out and appear beIore the Prophet
(7), so she borrowed a robe Irom one oI her neighbours, and rushed to where the Prophet (7) was
77
A fhili Iorm oI divorce where the husband told his wiIe 'You are to me like the back oI my mother. According to pre-Islmic Arabian
custom, this Ireed the husband Irom marital duties, but eIIectively imprisoned the woman as she was not Iree to leave her husband`s home or
enter into another marriage; the husband was also not obliged to provide Ior the children oI the marriage. The Qur`n clearly abolished this
cruel and oppressive practice. See YusuI Ali`s Note Number 5330. |Translator|
78
Wasq: The amount oI Iruit a date-palm would bear in one season. |Author|
79
Farq: A measurement oI weight approximately equivalent to 60 kilograms. |Author|
80
See Mukhtasar Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/459, Srat al-Mufdilah 58:1-4 (published by Dr al-Qur`n al-Karm, Beirut.)
23
sitting, so that she could hear Allh`s ruling concerning her, and Iollow it.
It comes as no surprise that this great woman enjoyed such high standing among the 6ahbah who
were her contemporaries and knew her virtues, above all Umar ibn al-Khab (W). She met him one
day outside the mosque, when Al-Jard al-Abd was with him. Umar, who was the khalfah at that
time, greeted her, and she said to him, 'O Umar, I remember you when you were called Umayr in
the marketplace oI Ukdh, taking care oI the sheep with your stick. So Iear Allh (,) in your role as
khalfah taking care oI the people, and know that the one who Iears the threat oI punishment in the
HereaIter realises that it is not Iar away, and the one who Iears death Iears missing some opportunity
in this liIe. Al-Jard said, 'You have spoken too harshly to Amr al-Muminn, woman! Umar said,
'Let her be. Do you not know that this is Khawlah, to whose words Allh (,) listened Irom above
the seven heavens? By Allh (,), Umar should by right listen to her.
Ibn Katheer mentions in his Tafseer that a man said to Umar, when he saw him welcoming her
warmly and listening to her, 'You leIt a man oI Quraysh to come to this old woman? Umar said, 'Woe
to you! Do you not know who this is? The man said, 'No. Umar said, 'This is a woman whose
complaint Allh (,) listened to Irom above the seven heavens: this is Khawlah bint Thalabah. By Allh
(,), iI she did not leave me until night Iell, I would not tell her to leave until she had got what she came
Ior, unless the time Ior prayer came, in which case I would pray, and then come back to her until she had
got what she came Ior.
The true Muslim woman always bears in mind the words oI Allh (,):
lI i: ncI fiIIing fcr c 8e|iever, mcn cr wcmcn, when c mcIIer hc: Leen cecicec Ly /||h cnc Hi:
Me::enger, Ic hcve cny cpIicn cLcuI Iheir ceci:icn: if cnycne ci:cLey: /||h cnc Hi: Me::enger,
he i: inceec cn c c|ecr|y wrcng FcIh. (Qur`n 33: 36)
Obedience to Allh (,) and His Messenger is much more important than one`s own whims and desires;
it comes beIore pleasure and individual choice. Zaynab bint Jash (May Allh be pleased with her) set the
best example oI obedience to the command oI Allh (,) and His Messenger when he asked her to agree to
marry his Ireed slave and adopted son Zayd ibn prithah. This marriage achieved two legislative (tashri)
aims:
(1) To achieve total equality among people: The beautiIul woman oI Quraysh, the noblewoman oI
the sons oI Abdu Shams, and the cousin oI the Prophet, married a Ireed slave. Ereed slaves were oI a
lower class than the nobility; indeed, the diIIerences between the classes was so great and so deep that
nothing could abolish it except a decisive, public act on the part oI the Prophet (7), that the Muslim
community would have to take as an example, so that these barriers might be torn down and people
would not be viewed as superior except in terms oI their level oI taqwa.
(2) To abolish the custom of adoption which was widely spread at the time of MKLOL\\DK. Hence
the Prophet (7) married Zaynab, aIter she had been divorced by his adopted son Zayd, to demonstrate in
practical terms that iI Zayd had been his real son, Allh (,) would not have commanded him in the
Qur`n to marry Zaynab.
The choice Iell to Zaynab, the cousin oI the Prophet (7), to achieve these two legislative aims within
the environment oI the Prophet`s household, so that the people could accept them in obedience to the
command oI Allh (,) and His Messenger (7). When he chose her to be the wiIe oI Zayd ibn prithah,
she disliked the idea, and said, 'O Messenger oI Allh (7), I will never marry him, Ior I am the
noblewoman oI the tribe oI Abdu Shams. The Prophet (7) replied, calmly but Iirmly, 'You have to
marry him. Whilst they were discussing the matter, Allh (,) revealed to His Messenger (7):
lI i: ncI fiIIing fcr c 8e|iever, mcn cr wcmcn, when c mcIIer hc: Leen cecicec Ly /||h cnc Hi:
Me::enger, Ic hcve cny cpIicn cLcuI Iheir ceci:icn: if cnycne ci:cLey: /||h cnc Hi: Me::enger,
he i: inceec cn c c|ecr|y wrcng FcIh. (Qur`n 33: 36)
Then Zaynab accepted the command oI Allh (,) and His Messenger, and said: 'I will not disobey
Allh (,) and His Messenger, and I will give myselI in marriage to him.
Subsequently, the diIIerences between Zaynab and Zayd led to their divorce. When Zaynab had
completed her iddah, Allh (,) revealed the Iollowing bvah:
8ehc|cl Ycu cic :cy Ic cne whc hcc receivec Ihe grcce cf /||h cnc ycur fcvcur: 'FeIcin |in
24
wec|cck] ycur wife, cnc fecr /||h. 8uI ycu cic hice in ycur hecrI IhcI which /||h wc: cLcuI Ic
mcke mcnife:I: ycu cic fecr Ihe pecp|e, LuI iI i: mcre fiIIing IhcI ycu :hcu|c fecr /||h. Ihen when
Zcyc hcc ci::c|vec |hi: mcrricge] wiIh her, wiIh Ihe nece::cry |fcrmc|iIy], We jcinec her in mcrricge
Ic ycu: in crcer IhcI |in fuIure] Ihere mcy Le nc cifficu|Iy Ic Ihe 8e|iever: in |Ihe mcIIer cf] mcrricge
wiIh Ihe wive: cf Iheir cccpIec :cn:, when Ihe |cIIer hcve ci::c|vec wiIh Ihe nece::cry |fcrmc|iIy]
|Iheir mcrricge] wiIh Ihem. /nc /||h: ccmmcnc mu:I Le fu|fi||ec. (Qur`n 33: 37)
The Prophet (7) recited this bvah, smiling, then he said, 'Who will go to Zaynab and tell her the
good news that Allh (,) has arranged my marriage to her Irom heaven?
It was as iI Allh (,) was rewarding Zaynab Ior her absolute obedience to Allh (,) and His
Messenger. She had accepted their decision that she should marry Zayd, then she became the wiIe oI the
Prophet (7) by the command oI Allh (,), in bvt which the Muslims will recite when they worship
Allh (,) by reciting the Qur`n, until the end oI time. This honour was bestowed only on Zaynab, who
was unique among the wives oI the Prophet (7). She was proud oI the Iavour oI Allh (,) to her, and
used to boast to the other wives oI the Prophet: 'Your Iamilies arranged your marriages, but Allh (,)
arranged my marriage Irom above the seven heavens.
81
She oes Not Sit Alone With u "Strunger
Obedience to Allh (,) and His Messenger can only be achieved by Iollowing their commands and
keeping away Irom that which they have prohibited. One way in which the Muslim woman obeys Allh
(,) and His Messenger is by not sitting alone with a 'stranger (afnab) i.e., a man to whom she is not
related, because doing so is arm according to the consensus oI the scholars, on the basis oI the adth:
/ mcn :hcu|c ncI :iI c|cne wiIh c wcmcn un|e:: c nccn i: wiIh her, cnc c wcmcn :hcu|c ncI Ircve|
wiIhcuI c nccn." / mcn :Iccc up cnc :cic: C Me::enger cf /||h {7), my wife hc:
:eI cuI fcr pcjj, cnc l hcve en|i:Iec fcr :uch-cnc-:uch c mi|iIcry expeciIicn." He :cic, Gc cnc perfcrm pcjj
wiIh ycur wife."
82
The maram is a man to whom marriage is Iorever Iorbidden Ior a woman, such as the Iather, brother,
paternal uncle, maternal uncle, etc.
The afnab or 'stranger is a man to whom marriage is allowed in principle, even iI he is a relative,
especially the husband`s brother and other similarly close relatives. It is Iorbidden Ior a woman to sit
alone with all oI these, because the Prophet (7) said:
8ewcre cf enIering upcn wcmen." / mcn cf Ihe An c:kec, C Me::enger cf /||h {7), whcI cLcuI
Ihe LrcIher-in-|cw?" He :cic, Ihe LrcIher-in-|cw i: cecIh."
83
The brother-in-law is the husband`s brother or other similarly close relatives by marriage. The
Prophet`s words, 'The brother-in-law is death mean that evil is more likely to occur Irom these quarters
than Irom elsewhere, because oI the ease with which he enters his brother`s house. The word 'death is
used Ior emphasis and as a sharp warning, as iI sitting alone with the brother-in-law may lead to
immorality and calamitous consequences that would be akin to the calamity oI death.
The true Muslim woman does not Iall into such errors as are committed by so many careless people
nowadays.
She Weurs Correct ppLME
The Muslim woman wears correct ifb when she goes out oI her house. pifb is the distinctive
Islmic dress whose Ieatures have been clearly deIined by the Qur`n and Sunnah. She does not go out oI
the house, or appear beIore non-maram men, wearing perIume, make-up or other Iineries, because she
knows that this is arm according to the Qur`n:
81
See Fat al-Br, 13/402, Kitb al-Tawhd, bb wa kana arshuhu alal-ma.
82
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 7/18, Kitb al-paff, bb al-marah la takhruf illa maa maram.
83
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 9/26, Kitb al-nikh, bb al-nahv an an vakhlu al-raful bil-marah al-afnabvvah.
25
/nc :cy Ic Ihe Le|ieving wcmen IhcI Ihey :hcu|c |cwer Iheir gcze cnc gucrc Iheir mcce:Iy: IhcI
Ihey :hcu|c ncI ci:p|cy Iheir LecuIy cnc crncmenI: excepI whcI |mu:I crcincri|y] cppecr Iherecf:
IhcI Ihey :hcu|c crcw Iheir vei|: cver Iheir Lc:cm:
84
cnc ncI ci:p|cy Iheir LecuIy excepI Ic Iheir
hu:Lcnc:, Iheir fcIher:, Iheir hu:Lcnc: fcIher:, Iheir :cn:, Iheir hu:Lcnc: :cn:, Iheir LrcIher: cr Iheir
LrcIher: :cn:, cr Iheir :i:Ier: :cn:, cr Iheir wcmen, cr Ihe :|cve: whcm Iheir righI hcnc: pc::e::, cr
mc|e :ervcnI: free cf phy:icc| neec:, cr :mc|| chi|cren whc hcve nc :en:e cf :ex: cnc IhcI Ihey
:hcu|c ncI :Irike Iheir feeI in crcer Ic crcw cIIenIicn Ic Iheir hiccen crncmenI:. /nc C ycu 8e|iever:l
Iurn c|| IcgeIher Icwcrc: /||h, IhcI ycu mcy cIIcin 8|i::. (Qur`n 24: 31)
The Muslim woman, thereIore, is not one oI those dressed-but-naked women who abound in societies,
which have deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,). She would tremble with Iear at the terriIying picture
which the Prophet (7) drew oI those painted and adorned temptresses who have gone astray:
Ihere cre Iwc Iype: cf Ihe pecp|e cf He|| IhcI l hcve ncI :een: pecp|e wiIh whip: |ike Ihe Ici|: cf cxen, wiIh
which Ihey LecI Ihe pecp|e, cnc wcmen whc cre cre::ec yeI :Ii|| cppecr nckec, whc cre inc|inec Ic evi|
cnc mcke Iheir hu:Lcnc: inc|ine Icwcrc: iI c|:c. Iheir hecc: cre |ike Ihe hump: cf ccme|:, |ecning Ic cne :ice.
Ihey wi|| ncI enIer Fcrcci:e, cr even :me|| iI: :cenI, c|Ihcugh iI: :cenI ccn Le ci:cernec frcm :uch -cnc-:uch c
ci:Icnce."
85
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by her Iaith and has received a sound Islmic
education does not wear ifb just because it is a custom or tradition inherited Irom her mother or
grandmother, as some Ioolish men and women try to describe it with no evidence or logic whatsoever.
The Muslim woman wears ifb on the basis oI her belieI that it is a command Irom Allh (,), revealed
to protect the Muslim woman, to make her character distinct, and to keep her away Irom the slippery
slope oI immorality and error. So she accepts it willingly and with strong conviction, as the women oI the
Muhfirn and Anr accepted it on the day when Allh (,) revealed His clear and wise command.
According to a report narrated by Bukhr, bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
'May Allh have mercy on the Mufir women. When Allh (,) revealed: .IhcI Ihey :hcu|c crcw
Iheir vei|: cver Iheir Lc:cm:. (Qur`n 24: 31), they tore their wrappers and covered their heads and
Iaces with them.
AccordIng Lo unoLIer reporL gIven by BukIr, 'bIsIuI suId:
Ihey Icck Iheir wrcpper: cnc Icre Ihem cI Ihe ecge:, Ihen ccverec Iheir hecc: cnc fcce: wiIh Ihem."
86
6aIiyyah bint Shaybah said:
When we were wiIh 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her), we menIicnec Ihe wcmen cf Curcy:h cnc
Iheir virIue:. 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) :cic, 'Ihe wcmen cf Curcy:h cre gccc, LuI Ly /|| h
{,) l hcve never :een cny LeIIer cr mcre :IricI in Iheir ccherence Ic Ihe 8cck cf /|| h {,) Ihcn Ihe
wcmen cf Ihe An. When Suct c'-N wc: revec|ec - IhcI Ihey :hcu|c crcw Iheir vei|: cver Iheir
Lc:cm:. - Iheir menfc|k wenI Ic Ihem cnc reciIec Ic Ihem Ihe wcrc: IhcI /|| h {,) hcc revec|ec.
Ecch mcn reciIec iI Ic hi: wife, hi: ccughIer, hi: :i:Ier cnc cIher femc|e re|cIive:. Every wcmcn cmcng
Ihem gcI up, Icck her ceccrcIec wrcpper, cnc wrcppec her:e|f up in iI cuI cf fciIh cnc Le|ief in whcI
/||h {,) hcc revec|ec. Ihey cppecrec Lehinc Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7), wrcppec up, c: if Ihere were
crcw: cn Iheir hecc:."
87
May Allh (,) have mercy on the women oI the Mufirn and the Anr: how strong their Iaith was,
and how sincere their Islm! How beautiIul was their obedience to the truth when it was revealed! Every
woman who truly believes in Allh (,) and His Messenger cannot but Iollow the example oI these virtuous
women, so she herselI must wear the distinctive Islmic dress with no regard to the nakedness and wanton
display that surrounds her. I remember a young university student who wore ifb, whose attitude was no
less admirable than that oI the women oI the Mufirn and Anr, may Allh (,) be pleased with them:
when a journalist who was visiting the University oI Damascus asked her about her ifb and whether it was
84
Juvubihinna includes the Iace and neck as well as the bosom. |Translator|
85
6a Muslim, 14/109, Kitb al-libs wal-:inah, bb al-nisa al-kasivt al-arivt.
86
Fat al-Br, 8/489, Kitb al-tafseer, bb walvadribna bi khumurihinna ala fuvubihinna.
87
See Fat al-Br Shar 6a Bukhari, 8/489, 490, Kitb al-tafseer, bb walvadribna bi khumurihinna ala fuvubihinna.
26
not too hot Ior her in the extreme heat oI summer, she responded by quoting: Scy: 'Ihe fire cf He|| i: fiercer
in hecI. (Qur`n 9: 81).
It is Muslim girls such as this who will build Muslim homes and Iamilies, and raise a virtuous
generation which will Iill society with constructive and noble elements. Today there are many such young
women, Al-amdu lillh |Praise be Allah (,)|.
Proper dress Ior women was not something novel introduced by Islm; it existed in all the laws oI
Allh (,) revealed beIore Islm. This can be seen in what remains oI those laws in the altered books (i.e.
the Bible). We also see it in the modest dress oI the Christian nuns who live in the Islmic world and also
in the West, and in the Iact that the women oI the people oI the Book cover their heads when they enter
their churches. The modern rejection oI the idea that women should be covered and modest goes against
all divine laws, Irom the time oI Ibrm, Msa and Eesa (X), until the anif way brought by Islm.
This attitude is an attempt to escape the decree oI Allh (,), which Allh (,) has sent to mankind
throughout the ages, brought time aIter time by His Messengers to guide mankind to truth and
righteousness, so that they would become one nation, worshipping and obeying one Lord:
Mcnkinc wc: LuI cne ncIicn, LuI cifferec ||cIer]. Hcc iI ncI Leen fcr c Wcrc IhcI wenI fcrIh
Lefcre frcm ycur Fccc, Iheir cifference: wcu|c hcve Leen :eII|ec LeIween Ihem. (Qur`n 10: 19)
C me::enger:l Enjcy |c||] Ihing: gccc cnc pure, cnc wcrk righIecu:ne::: fcr l cm we||-ccucinIec
wiIh |c||] IhcI ycu cc. /nc veri|y Ihi: 8rcIherhccc cf ycur: i: c :ing|e 8rcIherhccc. /nc l cm ycur
Fccc cnc Cheri:her: Iherefcre fecr Me |cnc nc cIher]. (Qur`n 23: 51-52)
/nc |rememLer her whc gucrcec her chc:IiIy: We LrecIhec inIc her cf Cur SpiriI, cnc We mcce
her cnc her :cn c Sign fcr c|| pecp|e:. Veri|y, Ihi: 8rcIherhccc cf ycur: i: c :ing|e 8rcIherhccc, cnc l
cm ycur Fccc cnc Cheri:her: Iherefcre :erve Me |cnc nc cIher]. (Qur`n 21: 91-92)
The determination oI many modern societies that women should be uncovered, living naked and
immoral lives, is an indication oI how Iar they have deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,), not only in
the Muslim lands, but in all countries oI the world. The Westerners may not care about this, and may go
ahead and invent more means oI immorality without Iinding any deterrent in their corrupted books, but the
Muslims who worship Allh (,) by reciting His perIectly preserved Book night and day will never accept
such deviance, no matter how negligent and weak they are in their practice oI Islm, because they
constantly hear the deIinitive words oI the Qur`n and Sunnah warning those who disobey Allh (,) and
His Messenger oI the test in this liIe and the severe punishment to come in the HereaIter:
LeI Ihc:e Lewcre whc wiIh:Icnc Ihe Me::enger: crcer, |e:I :cme Iric| Lefc|| Ihem, cr c grievcu:
Fenc|Iy Le inf|icIec cn Ihem. (Qur`n 24: 63)
So those men and women who have sold out to the West and called Ior women to uncover themselves
and take oII ifb, have Iailed miserably in the Iace oI the determination oI the men and women oI the
Islmic revival which is taking place throughout the world. Rightly-guided, educated Muslim women
have gone back to their distinctive Islmic dress and correct, decent ifb, in many Muslim countries
which had previously witnessed the call Ior Westernization and the abolishing oI ifb and decency. Eor
example, the Iollowers oI Ataturk in Turkey, Reza Pahlevi in Iran, Muhammad Amn in AIghanistan,
Ahmed Zogo and Enver Hoxha in Albania, Marcus Eahmi, Qsim Amn and Hoda Sharaw in Egypt.
Some oI those who supported women`s 'liberation Irom ifb and modesty have now renounced their
Iormer opinions about women`s showing oII and mixing Ireely with men.
Dr Nawal al-Sadaw, who Ior a long time attacked ifb and those who wear it, vehemently calling Ior
women to take oII ifb, now condemns the vulgarity and scandalous nakedness oI women in the West.
She says:
'In the streets oI London, I see women who are nearly naked, showing oII their bodies like
merchandise. Clothing has a Iunction, which is to protect the body Irom the natural environment, not to
transmit messages oI temptation. II a woman saw herselI as a human being, and not as merchandise, she
would not need to show her nakedness.
88
88
Al-Muftama magazine, Kuwait, issue no. 932.
27
It became clear to Nawal al-Sadawi aIter a while, that the veil should be removed Irom the mind,
not the body, especially in the case oI those men and women who are educated. Those women oI
lesser education, but with intelligence and openness oI mind, who wear ifb, are worth tens oI those
Ioolish educated women who make a wanton display oI themselves, uncovering their Iaces, heads and
bodies whilst veiling their minds and instincts! This is why she describes her Iuture plans as 'liIting
the veil Irom the minds oI educated men and women.
89
She adds: 'I know many Iemale proIessors,
doctors and engineers who are politically, socially and culturally illiterate.
90
The Iamous novelist Isn Abdul-Qudds, who Ilooded the literary marketplace with his stories that called
Ior women to go out oI the house and mingle with men, dancing with them at parties and night-clubs, said in
an interview with the Kuwaiti newspaper Al-Anb (18 January 1989):
'I think that the basic responsibility oI any woman is her house and children. This applies to me above
all. II it were not Ior my wiIe, I would not have been able to enjoy success, stability and Iamily liIe,
because she is devoted to the house and children.
In the same interview, he said: 'I never in all my liIe envisaged marrying a woman who works, and I
am well-known Ior this, because I knew Irom the beginning that the house is a heavy burden or
responsibility Ior women.
She Avoids Mixing Ireely With Men
The true Muslim woman avoids mixing with men as much as possible; she does not pursue it or
encourage it. Thus she Iollows the example oI Eimah, the daughter oI the Prophet (7), the Prophet`s
wives, the women oI the Salaf (the 6ahbah and Tabin), and those who Iollowed their way sincerely.
The harm that may be done to both sexes as a result oI Iree mixing, that is obvious to the Muslim
woman, is now becoming clear to Westerners who have practised Iree mixing on the widest scale. They
have seen that it leads to a Iall in standards oI education, so they have now begun to segregate male and
Iemale students in some universities and institutes oI education. A number oI the greatest Muslim
educators, who have visited Europe, America and Russia have witnessed this segregation, Ior example,
ProIessor Amad Madhhar al -Adhmah, who was sent by the Syrian Ministry oI Education to Belgium,
where he visited a number oI schools. On a visit to a girls` elementary school, he asked the principal,
'Why do you not let boys and girls mix at this level oI education? She replied, 'We noticed the harm that
mixing can to do children even at the elementary level.
There was news that Russia had reached a similar conclusion, and had established separate, segregated
branches oI universities, where male and Iemale students did not mix.
In America, there are more than 170 university branches in which male and Iemale students do not
mix. They were set up because the educators and supervisors noticed the harm that was caused by mixing,
even in a society that is used to mixing in every area oI social liIe.
The evidence oI the harm caused by mixing is too vast to be enumerated. All oI it points to the wisdom
oI Islm in putting an end to mixing, and protecting the Muslim societies which adhere to Islmic
guidance Irom its destructive, harmIul eIIects.
She oes Not Shuke Hunds With u non-0DUDPMun
It is natural that a Muslim woman who does not mix with men would not wish to shake hands with
anyone who is not her maram, in accordance with the teaching and example oI the Prophet (7).
Bukhr reports that bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
When Ihe Le|ieving wcmen mcce |cn {emigrcIicn) Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7), he wcu|c excmine cnc Ie:I
Ihem, in ccccrccnce wiIh Ihe bycn:
'C ycu whc Le|ievel When Ihere ccme Ic ycu Le|ieving wcmen refugee:, excmine |cnc Ie:I]
Ihem. (Qur`n 60: 10)
Whoever accepted these conditions required oI the believing women has thereby accepted their
89
Al-Muftama magazine, Kuwait, issue no. 931.
90
Ibid.
28
bavah. When the Messenger oI Allh (7) accepted their words, he told them (the women), You
may go now, Ior I have accepted your bavah.` By Allh (,), the Prophet`s hand never touched the
hand oI a woman; he accepted their bavah by words only. By Allh (,), he never put any conditions
on women other than those that Allh (,) commanded him, and when he had conIirmed the bavah
he would say I have accepted your bavah by your words.`
91
She oes Not Truvel Lxcept With u 0DUDP
One oI the rulings oI Islm concerning women is that a woman should not travel without a maram,
because travel is Iull oI dangers and hardships and it is not right Ior a woman to Iace all this alone,
without a maram to protect her and take care oI her. So the Prophet (7) Iorbade women to travel alone
without a maram; this is recorded in numerous adth, but it will suIIice to quote just two oI them here:
/ wcmcn :hcu|c ncI Ircve| fcr Ihree ccy: excepI wiIh c nccn."
92
lI i: ncI permiIIec fcr c wcmcn whc Le|ieve: in /|| h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy Ic Ircve| Ihe wc|king-ci:Icnce
cf Ihree ccy: wiIhcuI c nccn."
93
All the adth on this topic state that the presence oI a maram is the condition Ior women`s travel,
except in cases oI utter necessity as deIined by the scholars, whose points oI view diIIer somewhat.
94
In this way the Muslim woman is truly obedient to Allh (,), Iollowing His commands, heeding His
prohibitions, and accepting His rulings. She adheres to the teachings oI Islm and bears with patience any
diIIiculties that may be involved in obeying Allh (,), even iI this goes against many oI the prevalent
social ideas. She is Iilled with hope that she will ultimately be successIul and victorious, as the Qur`n
states:
8y |Ihe Icken cf] Iime |Ihrcugh Ihe /ge:], Veri|y Mcn i: in |c::, ExcepI :uch c: hcve FciIh, cnc cc
righIecu: ceec:, cnc |jcin IcgeIher] in Ihe muIuc| Iecching cf IruIh, cnc cf FcIience cnc
Ccn:Icncy. (Qur`n 103: 1-3)
She Accepts the Will und ecree oI Allh (,,)
The Muslim woman who is obedient to the command oI her Lord naturally accepts His will and
decree, because this is one oI the greatest signs oI Iaith, obedience, taqw and righteousness in a person.
So the Muslim woman who is guided by the teachings oI Islm always accepts whatever beIalls her in
liIe, whether it is good or bad, because this attitude oI acceptance is good Ior her in all cases, as the
Prophet (7) explained:
Hcw cmczing i: Ihe cffcir cf Ihe Mu:|iml Hi: cffcir: cre c|| gccc. lf he exper ience: ec:e, he i: grcIefu|, cnc
IhcI i: gccc fcr him. lf he experience: hcrc:hip, he fcce: iI wiIh pcIience cnc per:evercnce, cnc IhcI i:
c|:c gccc fcr him."
95
The Muslim woman is convinced that whatever beIalls her in liIe could not have been avoided, and
whatever does not beIall her could not have been made to happen. Everything happens according to the
will and decree oI Allh (,), so her aIIairs are all good. II something good happens to her, she voices her
praise to Allh (,), the MuniIicent Bestower, and she becomes one oI those who are grateIul, obedient
and successIul; iI something bad happens to her, she Iaces it with patience and Iortitude, so she becomes
oI those who are patient, redeemed and victorious.
With this deep Iaith, the Muslim woman Iaces the upheavals and calamities oI liIe with a calm soul
that accepts the will and decree oI Allh (,). She seeks his help with patience and prayer, and hoping
Ior reward Irom Him. She voices her praise to Allh (,) Ior what He has willed and decreed, as Al-
Khansa` did on the day when she heard the news about her Iour sons and said: 'Praise be to Allh (,)
91
Fat al-Br, 9/420, Kitb al-talq, bb idha aslmat al-mushrikah aw al-narnivvah taht al-dhimm aw al-harb.
92
6a Bukhr; see Fat al-Br, 2/566, Kitb taqsr al-alt, bb fi kam vaqsr al-alt.
93
6a Muslim, 9/103, Kitb al-paff, bb safar al-marah maa maram.
94
See: Shar 6a Muslim, 9/102-109, Kitb al-paff, bb safar al-marah maa maram.
95
6a Muslim, 18/25, Kitb al-:uhd, bb fi padth mutafarriqah,
29
Who has honoured me by their martyrdom; I hope that Allh (,) will gather me with them under His
Mercy.
96
She goes to the places where she usually prays, and seeks Allh`s help with prayer and
patience, as Asma` bint Umays used to do when disasters and tragedies struck one aIter the other. She
lost her Iirst husband, JaIar ibn Ab lib (W), then she was stricken by the death oI her second
husband, Ab Bakr al-6iddq (W), and oI her son, Muammad ibn Ab Bakr (W).
There are many other examples in history oI Muslim women who had Iaith, hoping Ior reward Irom
Allh (,) and Iacing diIIiculties with patience and Iortitude. Allh (,) will reward them greatly:
Ihc:e whc pcIienI|y per:evere wi|| Iru|y receive c rewcrc wiIhcuI mec:urel (Qur`n 39: 10)
She Turns to Allh (,,) in Repentunce
The Muslim woman may Iind herselI becoming neglectIul and slipping Irom the Straight Path, so she
may Iall short in her practice oI Islm in a way that does not beIit the believing woman. But she will soon
notice her error, seek Iorgiveness Ior her mistakes or shortcomings, and return to the protection oI Allh
(,):
Ihc:e whc fecr /||h, when c IhcughI cf evi| frcm ScIcn c::cu|I: Ihem, 8ring /||h Ic rememLrcnce
when |cl Ihey :ee |crighI]l (Qur`n 7: 201)
The heart that is Iilled with love and Iear oI Allh (,) will not be overcome by negligence. It is those
who ignore Allh`s (,) commands and guidance who will be led astray. The heart oI the sincere Muslim
woman is ever eager to repent and seek Iorgiveness, and rejoices in obedience, guidance and the pleasure
oI Allh (,).
She Ieels u Sense oI Responsibility Ior the Members oI Her Iumily
The responsibility oI the Muslim woman Ior the members oI her Iamily is no less, in the sight oI Allh
(,), than that oI the man. Her responsibility is in Iact even greater than a man`s, because oI what she knows
oI the secret liIe oI her children who live with her most oI the time: they may tell her things that they do not
tell their Iather. The Muslim woman Ieels this responsibility every time she hears the words oI the Prophet
(7):
Ecch cf ycu i: c :hepherc cnc ecch cf ycu i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck. Ihe |eccer i: c :hepherc cnc i:
re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck: c mcn i: Ihe :hepherc cf hi: fcmi|y cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck: c wcmcn i: Ihe
:hepherc in Ihe hcu:e cf her hu:Lcnc cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr her f|cck: Ihe :ervcnI i: Ihe :hepherc cf hi:
mc:Ier: wec|Ih cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr iI. Ecch cf ycu i: c :hepherc cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck."
97
This sense oI responsibility constantly motivates her to put right any Iaults or shortcomings she Iinds
in her Iamily`s behaviour. A woman does not keep quiet about any deviance, weakness or negligence in
her Iamily or home, unless she is lacking in religion, her character is weak, and her understanding is
incomplete.
Her Muin Concern is the Pleusure oI Allh (,,)
The true Muslim woman always seeks to earn the pleasure oI Allh (,) in everything she does. So
she measures everything against this precise standard, and will retain or discard any practice accordingly.
Whenever there is a conIlict between what pleases Allh (,), and what pleases other people, she
chooses what pleases Allh (,), with no hesitation or argument, even iI it will anger other people. She does
this because she knows, with her deep understanding oI Islm and her own common sense, that pleasing the
people is a goal that can never be achieved, and it will only bring about the wrath oI Allh (,). The Prophet
(7) said:
96
Al-Isabah, 8/66,67
97
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 10/61, Kitb al-imarah wal-qda, bb al-rai masul an raivatih
30
Whcever :eek: Ihe p|ec:ure cf /|| h {,) cI Ihe ri:k cf ci:p|ec:ing Ihe pecp|e, /|| h {,) wi|| Icke ccre cf
him cnc prcIecI him frcm Ihem. 8uI whcever :eek: Ihe p|ec:ure cf Ihe pecp|e cI Ihe ri:k cf ci:p|ec:ing
/||h {,), /||h {,) wi|| cLcnccn him Ic Ihe ccre cf Ihe pecp|e."
98
By weighing up her deeds in this precise Iashion, the Straight Path will be clearly signposted Ior the
Muslim woman. She will know what she is allowed to do and what she should avoid; her unIailing
standard is the pleasure oI Allh (,). Thus the liIe oI the Muslim women will be Iree Irom ridiculous
contradiction which have ensnared so many oI those who have deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,).
There are women whom one sees praying perIectly, but in many instances they Iollow their own
desires and deviate Irom the right path. In social gatherings they involve themselves in gossip and
backbiting, criticising people, plotting against anybody they dislike, and putting words in their mouths so
as to discredit them. These people are suIIering Irom weakness oI Iaith and a Iailure to understand the
true reality oI this holistic religion which Allh (,) revealed to guide mankind in all aspects oI liIe, both
public and private, so that people might seek the pleasure oI Allh (,) by obeying His commands and
emulating the behaviour oI the Prophet (7).
There are also women who obey Allh (,) in some matters, but disobey Him in others, acting
according to their own whims and desires. Such people are, as it were, halI-Muslims, and the split
personality oI those who have deviated Irom the guidance oI Islm is one oI the most dangerous
psychological and spiritual disorders Iacing modern man.
She Lnderstunds the True Meuning oI Being u Servunt oI Allh (,,)
The true Muslim woman has the Iirm belieI that she has been created to serve an important purpose in
liIe, which Allh (,) has deIined in the Qur`n:
l hcve cn|y crecIec |nn: cnc men, IhcI Ihey :hcu|c Wcr:hip Me. (Qur`n 51: 56)
LiIe, Ior the true Muslim woman, is not to be spent solely on daily chores or enjoyment oI the good
things oI this world; liIe is an important mission, in which every believer must take on the responsibility
oI living in such a way that he or she will be a true and sincere worshipper oI Allh (,). This can only be
achieved by checking one`s intention, in all one`s deeds, to ensure that they are done Ior the sake oI Allh
(,) and to please Him. According to Islm, all deeds are tied to the intentions behind them, as the
Prophet (7) said:
/cIicn: cre LuI Ly inIenIicn, cnc every mcn :hc|| hcve LuI IhcI which he inIencec. Ihu: he whc:e
migrcIicn wc: fcr /||h {,) cnc Hi: Me::enger, hi: migrcIicn wc: fcr /|| h {,) cnc Hi: Me::enger: cnc he
whc:e migrcIicn wc: Ic cchieve :cme wcr|c|y LenefiI cr Ic Icke :cme wcmcn in mcrricge, hi: migrcIicn
wc: fcr IhcI which he inIencec."
99
Hence the Muslim woman may be in a continuous state oI worship, which may encompass all oI her
deeds, so long as she checks her intentions and ensures that she is carrying out her mission in liIe, as Allh
(,) wants her to do. So she may be in a state oI worship when she treats her parents with kindness and
respect, when she is a good wiIe to her husband, when she takes care oI her children`s upbringing and
education, when she goes about her domestic chores, when she upholds the ties oI kinship, etc., so long as she
does all this in obedience to the commands oI Allh (,), and with the intention oI serving and worshipping
Him.
She Works to Support the Religion oI Allh (,,)
The most important act oI worship that the Muslim woman can do is to strive to establish the rule oI
Allh (,) on earth, and to Iollow the way oI liIe that He has prescribed, so that Islm will govern the liIe
oI the individual, the Iamily, the community and the nation.
The sincere Muslim woman will Ieel that her worship is lacking iI she does not strive to achieve the
purpose Ior which Allh (,) created finn and men, namely promoting the supremacy oI the authority oI
Allh (,) on earth, which is the only way in which mankind can truly worship Allh (,):
98
Reported by Tirmidh, 4/34, at the end oI the section on :uhd; it is a asan adth.
99
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/401, Kitb al-tahrah, bb al-nivvah fil-wudu wa ghavrihi min al-ibdt.
31
l hcve cn|y crecIec |nn: cnc men, IhcI Ihey :hcu|c wcr:hip Me. (Qur`n 51: 56)
This is the only way in which the true meaning oI the words 'la ilaha ill-Allh will be realized
in our own lives.
The Iirst Muslim women had a sound grasp oI this meaning, which penetrated deep into their souls. They
were no less enthusiastic than the men when it came to sacriIice and courage Ior the sake oI Allh (,). Some
oI the women oI the early generations oI this ummah excelled many oI the men in this regard.
Asm bint Umays, the wiIe oI JaIar ibn Ab lib, hastened to embrace Islm along with her husband
in the earliest days oI Islm, the days oI hardship and suIIering. She migrated with him to Abyssinia, in
spite oI the risks and hardships involved, Ior the sake oI Allh (,) and to support His religion. When
Umar ibn al-Khab joked with her and said, 'O pabashivvah (Abyssinian woman)! We beat you to
Madnah. She said, 'You have most certainly spoken the truth. You were with the Messenger oI Allh
(7), Ieeding the hungry and teaching the ignorant, whilst we were Iar away in exile. By Allh (,), I
shall go to the Messenger oI Allh (7) and tell him that. She came to the Prophet (7) and said, 'O
Messenger oI Allh, some men are criticizing us and claiming that we were not among the early
muafirn. The Messenger oI Allh (7) said, 'But you have two ifrahs; you migrated to the land oI
Abyssinia, whilst we were detained in Makkah, then you migrated to me aIterwards.
100
Asm bint Umays was successIul in establishing the virtue oI those who had migrated to Abyssinia in
the early days oI Islm, and she understood Irom the Prophet (7) that this distinguished group would have
the reward oI two ifrahs. This was a great honour which was theirs because they had not hesitated to
support the Prophet (7), even though it meant leaving behind their Iamilies and homeland Ior the sake oI
Allh (,).
Muslim women were also present at the Treaty oI Aqabah, which took place in secret, under cover oI
darkness, and which played such an important role in supporting the Prophet (7). Among the delegation
oI Anr were two women oI status and virtue: Nasibah bint Kab al-Maziniyyah, and Umm Mani Asm
bint Amr al-Sulamiyyah, the mother oI Mudh ibn Jabal (W); the latter was present with the Prophet
(7) at Khaybar, where she perIormed extremely well.
When the Prophet (7) began his Mission, calling Ior pure Tawheed and the abandonment oI idol-
worship, the mushrikn were very angry with him, and plotted to break into his house at night and kill
him. The conspirators kept quiet and vowed to let their plot to kill the Prophet remain a secret amongst
themselves. Nobody even sensed that there was a plot, apart Irom one Muslim woman, who was over one
hundred years old. Her name was Ruqayqah bint 6ayI, and she did not let the weakness oI old age stop
her Irom hastening to save the Prophet`s liIe. She made her way to him, and told him what the people
were planning to do. He embarked upon his ifrah straight away, leaving the land that was the most
beloved to him on earth, and leaving his cousin Ali (W) sleeping in his bed, so that the conspirators
surrounding his house would think that he was there, and this would keep them Irom Iollowing him and
killing him on the road.
101
What a tremendous service this great woman did Ior Islm and the Muslims! How great was her fihd
to save the liIe oI the Messenger oI Allh (7) at the most dangerous time he ever Iaced.
When the Prophet (7) and his companion leIt Makkah, and stayed out oI sight in the cave oI pir at
the top oI Mount Thawr, it was a young girl who brought them Iood and water, and news oI the people
who were lying in wait Ior them. Her name was Asm bint Ab Bakr al-6iddiq (W).
This brave young girl used to cover the great distance between Makkah and Mount Thawr at night; the
diIIiculty and isolation oI this journey, and the presence oI watchIul enemies, did not deter her. She knew
that by saving the liIe oI the Prophet (7) and his companion, helping them to reach their goal oI going
to Madnah, she was supporting the religion oI Allh (,), and working towards making His word
supreme on earth. So she undertook her diIIicult mission every day, ever alert and striving to conceal
herselI as she walked and climbed up the mountain, until she had brought whatever supplies and news she
was carrying to the Prophet (7) and his companion. Then she would go back down to Makkah under
cover oI darkness.
102
100
Tabqt Ibn Sad, 8/280 (Beirut edition).
101
See Tabaqt Ibn Sad, 7/35 and al-Isabah, 8/83.
102
See Srat Ibn Hishm. al-ifrah ilal-Madinah.
32
This mission, which even the strongest oI men could have Iailed to achieve, is not all that Asm did to
support the Prophet (7) and Islm. She was tested severely, and proved to be as solid as a rock, on the
day when the mushrikn surrounded her and asked about her Iather. She denied knowing anything, and
they placed severe pressure on her, so much so that Ab Jahl struck her a blow that sent her earring Ilying
Irom her ear. But this did not weaken her resolve or her determination to keep her secret hidden. She kept
up her mission oI taking Iood and news to the Prophet (7) and his companion, until the time came Ior
them to leave the cave and head Ior Madnah. She had already brought them provisions Ior the journey,
but when she checked the cloth in which they were wrapped, she Iound that she had nothing with which
to tie it apart Irom her own girdle. She told her Iather, who told her to tear it in two and use one piece to
tie the water skins and the other to tie the cloth holding the Iood. Hence Asm became known as Dhat al-
Niqavn (she oI the two girdles).
103
It was the attitude oI the early Muslim women to support the religion oI Allh (,) and join the Iorces
oI dawah, because their hearts were Iilled with strong, vibrant Iaith. They could not bear to stay in the
land oI kufr, Iar Irom the centre oI Islm, so they migrated - with their husbands, iI they were married -
and their ifrah, like that oI the men, was in obedience to Allh (,) and in support oI His religion. Their
Iaith was like that oI the men, and they made sacriIices just as the men did.
This deep Iaith is what motivated Umm Kalthm bint Uqbah ibn Ab Muay to migrate to Madnah
alone, at the time oI the Treaty oI Al-pudaybiyah, where the Prophet (7) had promised to return to the
mushrikn anyone who came to him to embrace Islm. The Prophet (7) had already kept his promise
and sent two men back. When Umm Kalthm reached Madnah, she said to the Prophet (7): 'I have
Iled to you with my religion, so protect me and do not send me back to them, Ior they will punish me and
torture me, and I do not have the patience and Iortitude to endure that. I am a mere woman, and you know
the weakness oI women. I see that you have already sent two men back. The Prophet (7) said: 'Allh
(,) has cancelled this treaty with regard to women.
104
Allh (,) knew the Iaith oI Umm Kalthm bint Uqbah ibn Ab Muay, and other muafir women
who had migrated solely out oI love Ior Allh (,) and His Messenger and Islm.
He revealed Qur`n concerning them, abolishing the treaty between the Prophet and the mushrikn in
the case oI women only, and Iorbidding their being sent back to the mushrikn once the Prophet (7) had
tested them and ensured that they had not migrated Ior the sake oI a husband or wealth or some other
worldly purpose, and that they had indeed migrated Ior the sake oI Allh (,) and His Messenger:
C ycu whc Le|ievel When Ihere ccme Ic ycu Le|ieving wcmen refugee:, excmine |cnc Ie:I] Ihem:
/||h kncw: Le:I c: Ic Iheir FciIh: if ycu c:cerIcin IhcI Ihey cre 8e|iever:, Ihen :enc Ihem ncI Lcck Ic
Ihe UnLe|iever:. Ihey cre ncI |cwfu| |wive:] fcr Ihe UnLe|iever:, ncr cre Ihe |UnLe|iever:] |cwfu|
|hu:Lcnc:] fcr Ihem. (Qur`n 60: 10)
One oI those virtuous women who were among the Iirst people to support Islm and the Prophet was
Umm al-Eal bint al-prith, Lubbah, the Iull-sister oI the Prophet`s wiIe Maymnah. She was the
second woman to embrace Islm: she became Muslim aIter Khadijah (May Allh be pleased with her).
She was a source oI great support and consolation Ior the Prophet (7).
Lubbah was the wiIe oI the Prophet`s paternal uncle al-Abbs ibn Abdul-Mualib, and was
diametrically opposed to Umm Jaml bint parb, the wiIe oI his other paternal uncle Ab Lahab, whom the
Qur`n described as the carrier oI Iirewood who would have a twisted rope oI palm-leaI Iibre around her
neck (see Qur`n 111: 4-5), because oI her determination to harm the Prophet (7), whilst Lubbah was
the Iirst to come to his support and to make sacriIices to support his religion during the most testing days
that the early Muslims Iaced.
Lubbah, her husband Al-Abbs and their sons used to conceal their Islm, in obedience to the
Prophet`s command and in accordance with a well-thought-out plan.
Thus they were able to learn the secrets oI the mushrikn and pass them on to the Messenger oI Allh
(7). When the battle oI Badr was waged between the Muslims and the mushrikn, and news came oI the
deIeat oI Quraysh, Umm Eal urged her sons and her Ireed slave Ab RaIi to conceal their joy at this
103
See Fat al-Br Sharh 6a Bukhr, 7/233, 240, Kitb manaqib al-Anr, bb ifrat al-Nabi wa ashabihi ilal-Madnah, and 6/129,
Kitb al-fihd, bb haml al-:ad fil-gha:w.
104
Ibn al-Jawz, Akm al-Nisa, 439.
33
deIeat, because she Ieared that the mushrikn, especially Ab Lahab who was Iilled with hatred towards
Muhammad (7), his companions and his message, might do them some harm.
But her Ireed slave Ab RaIi was not saIe Irom the wrath oI Ab Lahab; when he expressed his joy at
the Muslims` victory, Ab Lahab was enraged and vented his Iury on the poor man, beating him in the
presence oI Umm Eal. At this point, Umm Eal became like a Iierce lioness, and attacked him shouting,
'You pick on him when his master is absent! She struck him with one oI the (wooden) pillars oI the
house and dealt him a Iatal blow to the head. Ab Lahab did not live more than seven days aIter that.
Umm Eal bore her separation Irom her husband Al-Abbs with patience, Ior the sake oI Allh (,)
and in support oI His religion, when the Prophet (7) issued a command that Al-Abbs should stay in
Makkah, and she should migrate to Madnah. Their separation was a lengthy and diIIicult one, but Umm
Eal bore it patiently, hoping Ior reward and seeking help Irom Allh (,) through prayer and Iasting,
waiting Ior her beloved husband to Iinish what he had to do in Makkah and come to Madnah. As it
turned out, he was one oI the last to migrate to Madnah. The only thing that helped to ease the pain oI
this separation was seeing her eldest son Abdullh, accompanying the Prophet (7) daily and drinking
deeply Irom the pure wellspring oI Islm. It never occurred to her that history was preparing her to enter
its widest gate, Ior she was to be the great mother oI the great authority on Islmic teaching and the
interpretation oI the Qur`n: Abdullh ibn al-Abbs (W).
Another one oI the early Muslim women who thought little oI the suIIerings and torture they endured Ior
the sake oI Islm was Sumayyah, the mother oI Ammar ibn Ysir. When the mid-day heat was at its most
intense, and the desert sands were boiling, Ban Makhzm would drag her and her son and husband out to
an exposed area, where they would pour burning sand over them, place heated shields on them, and throw
heavy rocks at them, until her son and husband sought to protect themselves Irom this appalling torture by
saying some words to agree with the mushrikn, although they hated to do so. Concerning them and others
in similar situations, Allh (,) revealed the vah:
/nycne whc, cfIer cccepIing fciIh in /||h, uIIer: UnLe|ief, excepI uncer ccmpu|:icn, hi: hecrI remcining
firm in fciIh. (Qur`n 16: 106)
But Sumayyah remained steadIast and patient, and reIused to say what the mushrikn wanted to hear.
The despicable Ab Jahl stabbed her with a spear, killing her, and thus she had the honour oI being
recorded as the Iirst martyr in Islm.
The history oI Islm is Iilled with other women who endured even worse torture Ior the sake oI Islm.
This suIIering did not weaken their resolve or exhaust their patience; rather they willingly accepted
whatever beIell them, hoping Ior reward Irom Allh (,). They never said anything that would undermine
their religion, and they never humiliated themselves by begging Ior mercy. Historians record that many oI
the men who were oppressed - apart Irom Bill, may Allh (,) have mercy on him - were Iorced to say
something that would please their oppressors, in order to save their lives, but not one oI the women who
were similarly oppressed was reported to have given in.
These brilliant Muslim women welcomed the oppression they suIIered Ior the sake oI Allh (,) and
making His word supreme on earth. They never stopped preaching the word oI Islm, no matter what
trials and suIIering came their way.
In the story oI Umm Shark al-Qurashiyyah al-bmiriyyah, ibn Abbs gives an eye-witness account oI
the depth oI the women`s Iaith and how they rushed to devote themselves to Allh`s cause, patiently
enduring whatever trials this entailed.
Ibn Abbs said:
'Umm Shark began to think about Islm whilst she was in Makkah. She embraced Islm, then began
to mix with the women oI Quraysh in secret, calling them to Islm, until this became known to the people
oI Makkah. They seized her and said, II it were not Ior your people, we would have done what we
wanted to you, but we will send you back to them.` She said, So they seated me on a camel with no
saddle or cushion beneath me, and leIt me Ior three days without giving me anything to eat or drink. AIter
three days I began to lose consciousness. Whenever they stopped, they would leave me out in the sun
whilst they sought shade, and keep Iood and drink away Irom me until they resumed their journey.`
This was not all that Muslim women did in support oI Islm; they also went out on military
expeditions with the Prophet (7) and his Companions where, when the Iorces oI mn and the Iorces oI
34
kufr met in armed combat, they perIormed the important duty oI preparing the waterskins and bringing
water to the Iighters, and tending the wounded, and carrying the dead away Irom the battleIield.
At the most critical moments, they never shrank Irom taking up weapons and entering the Iray
alongside the Prophet (7) and his Companions.
Bukhr and Muslim narrate many padth which illustrate the brilliance oI the Muslim women during
that golden age, when hearts were Iilled with vibrant Iaith, deep love Ior Allh (,) and His Messenger,
and the desire to make Islm victorious.
One oI these reports is the account given by Imm Muslim oI Umm Aiyyah al-Anriyyah, who said:
l wenI cuI cn :even mi|iIcry ccmpcign: wiIh Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7). l :Icyec Lehinc in Ihe ccmp,
mcking fccc fcr Ihem cnc Iencing Ic Ihe :ick cnc wcuncec."
105
Anas ibn Mlik said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) u:ec Ic gc cuI cn mi|iIcry ccmpcign: ccccmpcniec Ly Umm Su|cym cnc
:cme cf Ihe An wcmen: Ihey wcu|c Lring wcIer cnc Ienc Ihe wcuncec."
106
Imm Bukhr reported that Al-Rub` bint
Mu`awwadh said:
We were wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7), Lringing wcIer, Iencing Ihe wcuncec, cnc Lringing Ihe cecc Lcck Ic
Mccnch."
107
Bukhr and Muslim report that Anas said:
Cn Ihe ccy cf Uuc, when :cme cf Ihe pecp|e rcn cwcy frcm Ihe FrcpheI { 7), /L Ic|ch :Iccc
Lefcre Ihe FrcpheI {7), cefencing him wiIh c :hie|c. /L Ic|ch wc: c high|y-:ki||ec crcher, cnc cn IhcI
ccy he Lrcke Iwc cr Ihree Lcw:. Whenever c mcn pc::ec Ly whc hcc c uiver fu|| cf crrcw:, he wcu|c
:cy, 'Give iI Ic /L Ic|ch. Whenever Ihe FrcpheI cf /|| h {7) rci:ec hi: hecc Ic :ee whcI wc:
hcppening, /L Ic|ch Ic|c him, 'C FrcpheI cf /||h, mcy my fcIher cnc mcIher Le :ccrificec fcr ycul Dc
ncI rci:e ycur hecc, |e:I cn crrcw :Irike ycu. Mcy iI hiI my che:I rcIher Ihcn ycur:. He |/nc:] :cic: l :cw
'bi:hch LinI /L 8ckr cnc Umm Su|cym, LcIh cf whcm hcc Iuckec up Iheir gcrmenI: :c IhcI Iheir cnk|eI:
were vi:iL|e. Ihey were ccrrying wcIer:kin: cn Iheir Lcck: cnc were pcuring wcIer inIc Ihe mcuIh: cf Ihe
pecp|e. Ihey wcu|c gc Lcck cnc fi|| Ihe wcIer:kin: cgcin, Ihen ccme cnc pcur wcIer inIc Ihe mcuIh: cf
Ihe pecp|e cgcin. /L Ic|ch: :wcrc fe|| frcm hi: hcnc: Iwc cr Ihree Iime: Leccu:e cf exhcu:Iicn."
108
What a noble deed these two great women did in quenching the thirst oI the mufhidn in the midst
oI a raging battle and in the intense heat oI the pijz climate. They were moving about the battleIield,
not caring about the Ialling arrows and clashing swords that surrounded them.
Eor this reason, the Rightly-Guided khalfah Umar ibn al-Khab (W) preIerred Umm Salt over
his own wiIe Umm Kalthm bint Ali when he was sharing out some garments among the women oI
Madnah. Because she had sewn waterskins on the day oI Uud, and this had played an important role
in helping the mufhidn and renewing their energy. Bukhr reports Irom Thalabah ibn Ab Mlik:
Umcr iLn c|-KhcL :hcrec cuI :cme gcrmenI: cmcng Ihe wcmen cf Mccnch. Ihere wc: cne gccc
gcrmenI |efI, cnc :cme cf Ihe pecp|e wiIh him :cic, 'C An| c'-Mu'n|nn, give Ihi: Ic ycur wife, Ihe
grcnc-ccughIer cf Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h, mecning Umm Kc|Ihm LinI '/|i. 'Umcr :cic, 'Umm Sc| I hc:
mcre righI Ic iI. Umm Sc|I wc: cne cf Ihe An wcmen whc hcc p|ecgec Iheir c||egicnce Ic Ihe
FrcpheI {7). 'Umcr :cic, 'She ccrriec Ihe wcIer-:kin: Ic u: cn Ihe ccy cf Uuc."
109
/I Uuc, Ihe FrcpheI: cheek cnc upper |ip were wcuncec cnc hi: IccIh wc: Lrcken. Hi: ccu ghIer
Fimch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) wc:hec hi: wcunc:, whi|:I '/|i (W) pcurec Ihe wcIer. When
105
See 6a Muslim, 12/194, Kitb al-fihd wal-sivar, bb al-nisa al-gh:ivt.
106
See 6a Muslim, 12/188, Kitb al-fihd wal-sivar, bab gha:wt al-nisa.
107
See Fat al-Br, 6/80, Kitb al-fihd, bb mudawamat al-nisa al-farha fil-gha:w.
108
Fat al-Br, 7/361, Kitb al-magha:i, bb idh hammat taifatan minkum an tufshila; 6a Muslim, 12/189, Kitb al-fihd wal-sivar, bb
gha:wt al-nisa maa al-rifal.
109
Fat al-Br, 6/79, Kitb al-fihd, bb haml al-nisa al-qurab ilal-nas fil-gha:w and 7/366, Kitb al-magha:i, bb dhikr Umm Salt.
35
Fimch :cw IhcI Ihe wcIer cn|y mcce Ihe L|eecing wcr:e, :he Icck c piece cf mcIIing, Lurnec iI, cnc
cpp|iec iI Ic Ihe wcunc Ic :Icp Ihe L|eecing.
110
Among the women who stood Iirm at the most intense moments oI the battle oI Uud was
6aIiyyah bint Abdul-Mualib, the (paternal) aunt oI the Prophet (7). She stood with a spear in her
hand, striking the Iaces oI the people and saying, 'Are you running away Irom the Messenger oI
Allh?! When the Prophet (7) saw her, he gestured to her son Al-Zubayr ibn al -Awwm that he
should bring her back so that she would not see what had happened to her brother pamzah (W). She
said, 'Why? I have heard that my brother has been mutilated, but that is nothing Ior the sake oI Allh
(,). We accept what has happened, and I shall hope Ior reward and be patient, insh Allh.
6aIiyyah was also present at the battle oI Al-Khandaq (the trench). When the Prophet (7) set out
Irom Madnah to Iight his enemies, he put his wives and womenIolk in the Iortress oI the poet passn ibn
Thbit, which was the most secure Iortress in Madnah. A Jewish man came by, and began to walk
around the Iortress. 6aIiyyah said, 'O passn, this Jew is walking around the Iortress, and by Allh (,) I
Iear that he will go and tell the other Jews out there where we are. The Messenger oI Allh (7) and his
Companions are too busy to come and help us, so go down and kill him. passn said, 'May Allh
Iorgive you, O daughter oI Abdul-Mualib. By Allh (,), you know that I am not like that. When
6aIiyyah heard this, she stood up, took hold oI a wooden post, and went down Irom the Iortress herselI.
She struck the Jew with the wooden post and killed him, then went back to the Iortress and said, 'O
passn, go down and strip him oI his arms and armour; the only thing that is preventing me Irom doing
so is that he is a man. passn said, 'I have no need oI this booty, O daughter oI Abdul-Mualib.
6aIiyyah was also present at the battle oI Khaybar.
One oI the most distinguished women who took part in the battle oI Uud, iI not the most
distinguished oI them, was Nasbah bint Kab al-Maziniyyah, Umm Umrah (May Allh be pleased with
her). At the beginning oI the battle, she was bringing water and tending the wounded, as the other women
were doing. When the battle was going in the Iavour oI the Muslims, the archers disobeyed the command
oI the Prophet (7), and this turned the victory into deIeat, as the Qur`n described it:
8ehc|cl Ycu were c|imLing up Ihe high grcunc, wiIhcuI even cc:Iing c :ice g|cnce cI cnycne, cnc
Ihe Me::enger in ycur recr wc: cc||ing ycu Lcck. (Qur`n 3: 153)
At this point, Nasbah went Iorward, with her sword unsheathed and her bow in her hand, to join the
small group who were standing Iirm with the Prophet (7), acting as a human shield to protect him Irom
the arrows oI the mushrikn. Every time danger approached the Prophet (7), she hastened to protect
him. The Messenger oI Allh (7) noticed this, and later said, 'Wherever I turned, to the leIt or the right,
I saw her Iighting Ior me.
Her son Umrah also described what happened on that tremendous day: 'On that day, I was wounded
in my leIt hand. A man who seemed to be as tall as a palm-tree struck me, then went away without
pursuing me to Iinish me oII. The blood began to Ilow copiously, so the Messenger oI Allh (7) told
me, Bind up your wound.` My mother came to me, and she was wearing a waist-wrapper, which she had
brought, Ior the purpose oI wrapping wounds. She dressed my wound, whilst the Prophet (7) was
looking on. Then she told me, Get up, my son, and Iight the people.` The Prophet (7) said, Who could
bear what you are putting up with, O Umm Umrah?` She said: The man who had struck my son came
by, and the Messenger oI Allh (7) said, This is the one who struck your son.` I intercepted him and
hit him in the thigh, and he collapsed. I saw the Messenger oI Allh (7) smiling so broadly that I could
see his back teeth. He said, You have taken your revenge, O Umm Umrah!` Then we struck him with
our weapons until we killed him, and the Prophet (7) said: Praise be to Allh (,), who granted you
victory over him, gave you the satisIaction oI taking revenge on your enemy, and let you see the
vengeance Ior yourselI.
On this day, Nasbah herselI received many wounds whilst she was Iighting the people and striking
their chests. The Prophet (7) saw her, and called to her son, 'Your mother! Your mother! See to her
wounds, may Allh (,) bless you and your household! Your mother has Iought better than so-and-so.
When his mother heard what the Prophet (7) said, she said, 'Pray to Allh (,) that we may accompany
110
See Fat al-Br 9, 7/372, Kitb al-magha:i, bb ma asaba al-Nabi min al-fira vawma Uhud.
36
you in Paradise. He said, 'O Allh (,), make them my companions in Paradise. She said, 'I do not care
what beIalls me in this world.
111
Umm Umrah`s fihd was not conIined to the battle oI Uud. She was also present on a number oI
other occasions, namely the treaty oI Aqbah, Al-pudaybiyah, Khaybar and punayn. Her heroic conduct at
punayn was no less marvellous than her heroic conduct at Uud. At the time oI Ab Bakr`s khilafah, she
was present at Al-Yammah where she Iought brilliantly and received eleven wounds as well as losing her
hand.
It is no surprise that the Prophet (7) gave her the good news that she would enter Paradise, and that
she was later held in high esteem by the khalfah Ab Bakr al-6iddq (W) and his commander Khlid ibn
al-Wald (W), and subsequently by Umar ibn al-Khab (W).
112
During this golden age oI the Muslim woman`s history there was another woman who was no less
great than Nasbah bint Kab: Umm Sulaym bint Milhan. Like Umm Umrah, bishah, Eimah and the
other women, she also brought water and tended the wounded, but here we will tell another story. When
the Muslims were preparing to go out with the Prophet (7) to conquer Makkah, her husband Ab
alah was among them. Umm Sulaym was in the later stages oI pregnancy, but this did not stop her
Irom wanting to accompany her husband Ab alah and to earn alongside him the reward Ior fihd Ior
the sake oI Allh (,). She did not care about the hardships and diIIiculties that lay ahead on the journey.
Her husband Ielt sorry Ior her and did not want to expose her to all that, but he had no choice but to ask
the Prophet`s permission. The Prophet (7) gave his permission, and Umm Sulaym was delighted to
accompany her beloved husband and witness the conquest oI Makkah with him, on that great day when
the hills oI Makkah echoed with the cries oI the believers and mufhidn: 'There is no true god but Allh
(,) alone. He has kept His promise, granted victory to His servant, and alone has deIeated the
conIederates. There is nothing beIore Him or aIter Him. There is no true god but Allh (,), and we
worship Him alone, adhering IaithIully to His religion although the disbelievers may hate this. This was
the day when the bastions oI idolatry and shirk in the Arabian Peninsula were Iorever destroyed, and the
idols were thrown down by the Prophet (7), as he declared,
IruIh hc: |ncw] crrivec, cnc Fc|:ehccc peri:hec: fcr Fc|:ehccc i: |Ly iI: ncIure] Lcunc Ic peri:h.
(Qur`n 17: 81)
These events Iilled Umm Sulaym`s soul with Iaith, and increased her courage and her desire to strive
Ior the sake oI Allh (,). Only a Iew days later came the battle oI punayn, which was such a severe test
Ior the Muslims. Some oI the people ran away Irom the battle, not caring about anything. The Prophet
(7) stood to the right and said, 'Where are you going, O people? Come to me! I am the Messenger oI
Allh, I am Muhammad ibn Abdullh. Nobody stayed with him except Ior a group oI Muafirn and
Anr, and members oI his household, and Umm Sulaym and her husband Ab alah were among this
group. The Messenger oI Allh (7) saw Umm Sulaym wrapping a garment around her waist; she was
pregnant with Abdullh ibn Ab alah, and she was trying to control Ab alah`s camel, which she
was aIraid would get away Irom her, so she pulled its head down towards her and took hold oI its nose-
ring. The Messenger oI Allh (7) called her, 'O Umm Sulaym! and she replied, 'Yes, may my Iather
and mother be sacriIiced Ior you, O Messenger oI Allh (7).
A report in 6a Muslim states:
Cn Ihe ccy cf Huncyn, Umm Su|cym Icck hc|c cf c ccgger cnc kepI iI wiIh her. /L c|ch :cw her,
cnc :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /||h, Umm Su|cym hc: c ccgger. Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) c:kec her,
'WhcI i: Ihi: ccgger? She :cic, 'l Icck iI :c IhcI if cny cne cf Ihe nu:n|kn ccme: necr me, l wi|| rip hi:
Le||y cpen wiIh iI. Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) Legcn Ic |cugh. She :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /|| h, ki|| c||
cf Ihe tu'cqc
113
whc hcve rcn cwcy cnc |efI ycu. Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :cic, '/||h {,) i:
:ufficienI fcr u: cnc He hc: Icken ccre cf u:.
114
111
See the reports on the Battle oI Uhud in the Srah oI Ibn Hishm, and in Insn al-Uvun, al-Athar al-Muhammadivvah, the Tabaqt oI Ibn
Sad, al-Isabah, and Asad al-Ghabah.
112
See Sivar alam al-nubala, 2/281.
113
Those who entered Islm on the day oI the Conquest oI Makkah. |Author|
114
6a Muslim, 12/187, 188, Kitb al-fihd wal-sivar, bb gha:wt al-nisa maa al-rifal.
37
Umm Su|cym :Iccc firm wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7) when Ihe LcII|e inIen:ifiec cnc even Ihe Lrcve:I cf men
were puI Ic Ihe Ie:I. She ccu|c ncI Lecr even Ic :ee Ihc:e whc hcc run cwcy cnc |efI Ihe FrcpheI { 7),
:c :he Ic|c him, Ki|| Ihc:e whc rcn cwcy cnc |efI ycu." lI ccme: c: nc :urpri:e IhcI Ihe Me::enger cf
/||h {7) gcve her Ihe g|cc Iicing: IhcI :he wcu|c enIer Fcrcci:e.In a adth reported by Bukhr,
Muslim and others Irom Jabir ibn Abdullh (W), he (7) told her: l :cw my:e|f in Fcrcci:e, cnc
:uccen|y l :cw /|-Fumcy
115
LinI Mi|n, Ihe wife cf /L c|ch."
116
The Messenger oI Allh (7) used to visit Umm Sulaym, and her sister Umm parm bint Miln. Just
as he gave glad tidings to Umm Sulaym that she would enter Paradise, so he also gave good news to
Umm parm that she would ride the waves oI the sea with those who went out to Iight Ior the sake oI
Allh (,). Bukhr reports that Anas ibn Mlik (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) vi:iIec Ihe ccughIer cf Mi|n, cnc re:Iec Ihere fcr c whi|e. Ihen he :mi|ec,
cnc :he c:kec him, 'Why cre ycu :mi|ing, C Me::enger cf /||h? He :cic, 'Scme pecp|e cf my ummch
wi|| crc:: Ihe green :ec fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,), cnc Ihey wi|| |cck |ike king: cn Ihrcne:. She :cic, 'C
Me::enger cf /||h, prcy Ic /||h {,) IhcI l wi|| Le cne cf Ihem. He :cic, 'C /|| h {,), mcke her cne cf
Ihem. Ihen he :mi|ec cgcin, cnc :he c:kec him cgcin why he wc: :mi|ing. He gcve c :imi|cr cn:wer,
cnc :he :cic, 'Frcy Ic /||h {,) IhcI l wi|| Le cne cf Ihem. He :cic, 'Ycu wi|| Le cne cf Ihe fir:I cne:, ncI
cne cf Ihe |c:I cne:."
Ihe FrcpheI: wcrc: ccme Irue, c: /nc: {W) repcrIec: She mcrriec 'ULcch iLn c|-6miI, cnc wenI cuI fcr
|nc wiIh him, cnc :he Ircve||ec ccrc:: Ihe :ec wiIh Ihe ccughIer cf Ccrczch.
117
When :he ccme Lcck, her
ricing-Lec:I Ihrew her, cnc :he fe|| cnc ciec."
118
Her grave in Cyprus remains to this day as a memorial to a Muslim woman who Iought in fihd Ior the
sake oI Allh (,). When people visit the grave they say, 'This is the grave oI a righteous woman, may
Allh (,) have mercy on her.
119
Another oI the women who took part in military campaigns and fihd with the Prophet (7), helping
to deIend Islm, was Umm Ayman, the nurse oI the Prophet (7). She was present at Uud, Khaybar,
Mtah and punayn, where she worked hard, tending the wounded and bringing water to the thirsty.
120
There was also Kabshah bint RaI al-Ansriyyah, the mother oI Sad ibn Mudh (W). During the
campaign oI Uud, she came running towards the Prophet (7), who was on his horse, and Sad ibn
Mudh (W) was holding onto its reins. Sad said, 'O Messenger oI Allh, this is my mother. The
Messenger oI Allh (7) said, 'She is most welcome. He stopped Ior her, and she came closer; he
oIIered his condolences Ior the death oI her son Amr ibn Mudh, told her and her Iamily the glad tidings
oI the martyrs in Paradise, and prayed Ior them.
121
Among these great women are Al-Eurayah bint Mlik, and Umm Hishm bint parithah ibn al-
Numn (W). They were among those who gave their oath oI allegiance to the Prophet (7) under the
tree at pudaybiyah. This was Bavat al-Riwn, which the Prophet (7) called Ior when the mushrikn
prevented the believers Irom entering Makkah; the Prophet (7) had sent Uthmn ibn AIIn to
Quraysh, and they detained him Ior so long that the Muslims thought Quraysh had betrayed their trust and
killed him. Allh (,) honoured His Messenger and those who were present on this blessed occasion, and
He bestowed upon them His pleasure which many die beIore they can attain it, and beside which all other
hopes and aspirations pale into insigniIicance. Allh (,) revealed avt oI the Qur`n on this occasion,
which will be recited until heaven and earth pass away:
/||h: Gccc F|ec:ure wc: cn Ihe 8e|iever: when Ihey :wcre Fec|Iy Ic ycu uncer Ihe Iree: He knew
whcI wc: in Iheir hecrI:, cnc He :enI ccwn Ircnui||iIy Ic Ihem: cnc He rewcrcec Ihem wiIh :peecy
VicIcry. (Qur`n 48: 18)
115
Al-Rumav : A nickname oI Umm Sulaym, on account oI a ramas (white secretion) in her eye. |Author|
116
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 14/86, Kitb fadail al-sahbah, bb fadail Umar ibn al-Khab.
117
i.e., the wiIe oI Muawiyah. |Author|
118
Fat al-Br 6/76, Kitb al-fihd, bb gha:w al-marah fil-bahr.
119
Al-Hilvah, 2/62; 6iffat al-afwah, 2/70.
120
See Al-Magh:i, 1/278; Anb al-Ashraf, 1/326; Al-Bayhq, Dalail al-Nubuwwah, 3/311.
121
See Al-Magh:, 2/301, 310, 316; Adh-Dhahab, Tarikh al-Islm, 2/201; Al-Srah al-pudaibivvah, 2/545, 546.
38
Umm al-Mundhir Salma bint Qays was present at Bavat al-Riwn, and had previously been present
at Bavah al-Mumint, hence she was known as Mubavaat al-Bavatavn (the one who gave two oaths oI
allegiance). When the Prophet (7) and his Companions went out to besiege Ban Quraydhah, this great
6aabivvah went with them, and earned the reward Ior fihd Ior the sake oI Allh (,).
Asm bint Yazd ibn al-Sakan al-Anriyyah took part in the battle oI Al-Khandaq with the Prophet
(7). She was also present at Al-pudaybiyah and Bavat al-Riwn and at the battle oI Khaybar. She
continued her worthy eIIorts Ior the sake oI Islm until the Prophet`s death, and he died pleased with her.
AIter his death, she never stopped working in support oI Islm. In 13 AH, she travelled to Syria and was
present at the battle oI Yarmk, when she brought water to the thirsty, tended the wounded and
encouraged the Iighters to stand Iirm. Yarmk is one oI the most Iamous battles in which the Muslim
women took part alongside the Iighting men. The Muslim army was sorely tested, and some oI them
retreated. The mufhid women were Iighting a rear-guard action, rushing towards those who were running
away with pieces oI wood and stones, urging them to go back and stand Iirm. Ibn Katheer noted the courage
oI the Muslim women and the important role they played in this battle:
'The Muslim women Iought on this day, and killed a large number oI Romans. They struck whoever
among the Muslims ran away, and said, Where are you going, to leave us at the mercy oI these
inIidels?!` When they told them oII in this manner, they had no choice but to return to the Iight.
122
The Muslim woman`s stance and encouragement played a major role in making the mufhidn stand
Iirm until Allh (,) decreed that they would be victorious over the Romans.
On this tremendous day, Asm bint Yazd did extremely well, and demonstrated a type oI courage that
was unknown among many oI the men. She went Iorth into the battle lines, and struck down a number oI
the mushrikn. Ibn pijr also noted her bravery:
'Umm Salmah al-Anriyyah, i.e., Asm bint Yazd ibn Sakan, was present at Al-Yarmk. On that
day she killed nine Romans with her tent-pole. She lived Ior a while aIter that.
123
It seems that this great heroine spent the rest oI her liIe in Syria, where the battle oI Yarmk took
place, as she went with those 6abah who went there. She lived until the time oI Yazd ibn Muawiyah,
and when she passed away, she was buried in the cemetery oI Al-Bb al-Sghr. Her grave is still there,
bearing proud testimony to the fihd oI Muslim women Ior the sake oI Allh (,).
124
These golden pages oI Muslim women`s history were written by those virtuous women themselves,
through the depth oI their Iaith and the completeness oI their understanding oI the Muslim woman`s mission
in liIe and her duty towards her Rabb and her religion. What I have cited represents only a small part oI a
vast and noble record oI rare sacriIice, proud determination, unique talents and deep Iaith. Undoubtedly
Muslim women today may Iind in these accounts an example worthy oI Iollowing as they seek to Iorm their
own modern Islmic character and identity.
She is istinguished by Her Islmic Churucter und True Religion
No doubt the true Muslim woman is distinguished by her Islmic character, and she is proud oI the high
status which Islm gave her at a very early stage, beIore women in other nations attained anything like it.
EiIteen centuries ago, Islm proclaimed the Iull rights oI women Ior the Iirst time in history, and Muslim
women enjoyed human rights centuries beIore the world had ever heard oI human rights organizations or
witnessed any 'Declaration oI Human Rights.
At that early stage, Islm declared that women were the twin halves oI men, as stated in the adth
narrated by Ab Dwd, Tirmidh, Al-Darim and Amad. At a time when the Christian world doubted the
humanity oI women and the nature oI her soul, the Qur`n declared:
/nc Iheir Fccc hc: cccepIec cf Ihem, cnc cn:werec Ihem: 'Never wi|| l :uffer Ic Le |c:I Ihe
wcrk cf cny cf ycu, Le he mc|e cr femc|e: ycu cre memLer:, cne cf cncIher (Qur`n 3: 195)
122
Al-bidavah wal-nihavah, 7/13; see also At-Tabr, Al-Tarikh, 2/335II (published by Dr al-Kutub al-Ilmiyyah).
123
Al-Isabah, 4/229; see also Mafma al-Zawaid by Al-Haythami, who quotes this story, stating that it was narrated by A-abarn and that
the men oI its isnd are thiqat. See also Sivar alam al-nubala, 2/297.
124
See Sivar alam al-nubala, 2/297.
39
The Prophet (7) accepted women`s oath oI Islm and obedience, just as he accepted that oI men.
The women`s bavah was independent oI and separate Irom that oI their menIolk, and was not done as an
act oI blind obedience. This is a conIirmation oI the independence oI the Muslim woman`s identity, and oI
their competence to bear the responsibility oI giving the oath oI allegiance and making the commitment to
obey Allh (,) and be loyal to Him and His Messenger. All oI this happened centuries beIore the modern
world recognized a woman`s right to Ireedom oI expression and the right to vote independently. This is in
addition to other important rights, such as her independent right to own wealth and her Ireedom Irom the
responsibility to spend on others, even iI she is rich, and her equality with men in human worth, education,
and general religious and legal duties. A Iull discussion oI the rights which Islm has given to women, and
the respect, which it has bestowed upon them, is not possible here.
The level oI respect, rights and competence attained by the Muslim woman is astonishing Ior Western
women. I remember the comment oI an American woman at a lecture given in the U.S.A. by the Syrian
scholar Sheikh Bahjat al-Bir on the rights oI women in Islm. This lady was amazed at the rights which
the Muslim woman had gained IiIteen hundred years ago; she stood up and asked, 'Is what you say about
the Muslim woman and her rights true or is it just propaganda? II it is true then take me to live with you
Ior a while, then let me die! Many other Western women have also expressed their astonishment at the
status and respect given to women in Islm.
The modern Muslim woman, iI she understands all this, is also Iilled with admiration Ior her true
religion; her Iaith deepens and her conviction oI the greatness and perIection oI this divine program Ior
human happiness, the well-being oI men and women alike - grows ever stronger. It is suIIicient Ior her
to know that IiIteen hundred years ago Islm achieved more Ior women in one blow than any other
nation has achieved in the twentieth century.
It is suIIicient to know that the Erench Revolution oI the late eighteenth century produced a human-
rights document entitled 'Declaration oI the Rights oI Man and Citizens The Iirst clause oI this
document states: 'Men are born Iree and equal under the laws. There was an attempt to add the words
'and woman, but this was rejected, and the statement remained conIined to men only: 'Man is born Iree,
and he should not be enslaved. A century later, the great Erench scholar Gustave le Bon, in the late
nineteenth century and early twentieth century, stated in his book 'The Psychology oI Peoples that
woman had never been equal to man except in periods oI decline; this comment came in his reIutation oI
demands that women should be made equal with men by giving them the same right to vote.
This is how the situation remained until the advent oI the League oI Nations, Iollowing the Eirst World
War, and the United Nations Organization Iollowing the Second World War. Women`s-rights advocates
succeeded in stating the equality oI women with men only aIter a great deal oI hard work, because they
were Iaced with the obstacle oI quasi-religious traditions and customs; they did not have access to any
text oI national or international law that treated women with any measure oI justice, which they could
have used to overturn these obstacles and Iree women Irom the oppressive legacy oI the past. Meanwhile,
IiIteen hundred years ago, Islm had deIinitively shown, in the Qur`n and Sunnah, that men and women
were equal in terms oI reward, punishment, responsibility, worship, human worth and human rights.
When Islm made men and women equal in terms oI human rights, it also made them equal in terms oI
human duties, as they were both charged with the role oI khalfah on earth and were commanded to
populate and cultivate it, and to worship Allh (,) therein. Islm gave each oI them his or her unique role
to play in establishing a righteous human society; these roles are complementary, not opposite, and they
apply to every man and woman. Each sex must play the role Ior which it is better suited and qualiIied, in
order to build solid individuals, Iamilies and societies and achieve solidarity, mutual assistance and co-
operation between the two sexes, without preventing anyone Irom doing any permitted deed which he or
she wishes to do. Men and women are equally governed by whatever is in the interests oI humanity, and
both will be rewarded in accordance with their deeds in this liIe, as Allh (,) says:
Whcever wcrk: righIecu:ne::, mcn cr wcmcn, cnc hc: FciIh, veri|y, Ic him wi|| We give c new Life,
cnc |ife IhcI i: gccc cnc pure, cnc We wi|| Le:Icw cn :uch Iheir rewcrc ccccrcing Ic Ihe Le:I cf
Iheir ccIicn:. (Qur`n 16: 97)
Both men and women are regarded as 'shepherds who are responsible Ior their 'Ilocks, as is stated
in the well-known adth oI the Prophet (7).
40
The Muslim woman who understands the high status which Islm gave her IiIteen centuries ago knows
Iull well that the position oI women in every nation governed by ancient laws was appalling, especially in
India and Rome, in the Middle Ages in Europe, and in Arabia prior to the advent oI Islm. So her pride in
her Islmic identity, true religion and high human status increases.
The position oI women under ancient laws may be summed up in the comment oI the Indian leader
Jawarharlal Nehru in his book 'The Discovery oI India: 'The legal position oI women, according to
Manu, was undoubtedly very bad. They were always dependent on either a Iather or a husband or a son.
It is known that inheritance in India always passed Irom male to male, and excluded Iemales completely.
Nehru commented on this: 'In any case, the position oI women in ancient India was better than that in
ancient Greece or Rome, or during the early Christian period.
The position oI a woman in ancient Roman law was based on a complete denial oI her civic rights,
and on requiring her to be constantly under the tutelage oI a guardian, whether she was a minor or had
reached the age oI majority, simply because she was Iemale. So she was always under her Iather`s or
husband`s tutelage, and had no Ireedom whatsoever to do as she wished. In general, she could be
inherited, but she had no rights oI inheritance.
Under Roman law, a woman was simply one oI the possessions oI her husband, deprived oI her own
identity and Ireedom oI conduct. The eIIects oI this law are still visible in the twentieth century, in most
oI the modern states whose laws are still inIluenced by Roman law.
As a result oI the inIluences oI Roman law, women`s position during the early Christian period was as
appalling as Nehru suggests. Some religious councils shed doubts on the humanity oI woman and the
nature oI her soul; conIerences were held in Rome to debate these matters, and to discuss whether women
possessed souls like men, or were their souls like those oI animals such as snakes and dogs? One oI these
gatherings in Rome even decided that women did not possess a soul at all, and that they would never be
resurrected in the aIterliIe.
In the Arabian Peninsula, most tribes prior to the advent oI Islm regarded women as something to be
despised and abhorred. They were seen as a source oI shame, which many would try to avoid by burying
inIant girls alive as soon as they were born.
Islm condemned this appalling situation oI women in more than one place in the Qur`n. ReIerring to
the low esteem in which women were held at the time oI fahilivvah, Allh (,) said:
When new: i: LrcughI Ic cne cf Ihem, cf |Ihe LirIh cf] c femc|e |chi|c], hi: fcce ccrken:, cnc he i:
fi||ec wiIh inwcrc griefl WiIh :hcme cce: he hice him:e|f frcm hi: pecp|e, Leccu:e cf Ihe Lcc new: he
hc: hccl Shc|| he reIcin iI cn |:uffercnce cnc] ccnIempI, cr Lury iI in Ihe cu:I? /hl WhcI cn evi|
|chcice] Ihey cecice cnl (Qur`n 16: 58-59)
Explaining the enormity oI the crime oI burying alive an innocent inIant who has never committed any
sin, Allh (,) says:
When Ihe femc|e |infcnI], Luriec c|ive, i: ue:Iicnec - Fcr whcI crime :he wc: ki||ec. (Qur`n 81:
8-9)
Women were in the most appalling and humiliating situations, in which their very humanity was in
doubt - especially in the Arab world beIore the advent oI Islm, and in most oI the civilized world at that
time, in Rome, and during the early Christian period. Most oI the modern nations/states are still
inIluenced by Roman law, as is well-known to scholars oI law.
125
The Muslim woman understands the great blessing, which Allh (,) bestowed upon her the day when
the brilliant light oI Islm shone upon the Arab world:
Ihi: ccy hcve l perfecIec ycur re|igicn fcr ycu, ccmp|eIec My fcvcur upcn ycu, cnc hcve chc:en
fcr ycu l:|m c: ycur re|igicn (Qur`n 5: 3)
The Muslim woman`s soul is Iilled with happiness, contentment and pride, and her status and position are
raised by the Iact that Islm gives the mother a higher status than the Iather. A man came to the Prophet (7)
and asked him: 'O Messenger oI Allh, who among people is most deserving oI my good company? He
:cic, Ycur mcIher." Ihe mcn c:kec, Ihen whc?" Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic, Ycur mcIher." Ihe mcn c:kec,
125
See Dr. MaruI al-Dawalibi, Al-marah fil-Islam, p. 23.
41
Ihen whc?" Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, Ycur mcIher." Ihe mcn c:kec, Ihen whc?" Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic,
Ihen ycur fcIher."
126
Because oI the way she is created, the woman is unique in her ability to bear a child then breast Ieed
and nurture him, a role that is diIIicult and involves much hard work, as the Qur`n noted:
/nc We hcve enjcinec cn mcn |Ic Le gccc] Ic hi: pcrenI:: in Ircvci| upcn Ircvci| cic hi: mcIher
Lecr him, cnc in yecr: Iwcin wc: hi: wecning: |hecr Ihe ccmmcnc], 'Shcw grcIiIuce Ic Me cnc Ic
ycur pcrenI:: Ic Me i: |ycur finc|] Gcc|. (Qur`n 31: 14)
Just as this heavy burden is placed on women`s shoulders, men are given the role oI maintaining and
protecting the Iamily (qawwamn); they have the duty oI earning money and spending on the Iamily.
However, many men still do not understand the status oI the mother in Islm, as is reIlected in the adth
quoted above, in which a man asked the Prophet (7) who was most deserving oI his good company.
Islm raised the status oI women by placing the status oI the mother above that oI the Iather, and it has
also given women the right to keep their own Iamily names aIter marriage. The Muslim woman keeps her
own surname and identity aIter marriage, and does not take her husband`s name, as happens in the West
where the married women is known by her husband`s name as 'Mrs. So-and-so, and her maiden name is
cancelled Irom civic records. Thus Islm preserves the woman`s identity aIter marriage: although the
Muslim woman is strongly urged to be a good wiIe, obeying and respecting her husband, her identity is
not to be swallowed up in his.
II we add to this the Iact that Islm has given women the right to complete Ireedom in how they
dispose oI their own wealth, and that they are not expected to spend on anyone else`s upkeep, the high
status to which Islm has raised women becomes crystal-clear. Hence we can understand how much Islm
wants women to be Iree, proud, respected, and able to IulIil their tremendous mission in liIe.
Her Loyulty is to Allh (,,) Alone
One oI the results oI the Muslim woman`s pride in her Islmic identity is that she will never be loyal to
anything or anyone other than Allh (,), not even her husband or her Iather, who are among the closest
people to her. We see the epitome oI this loyalty (wal) in the liIe oI the Prophet`s wiIe Umm pabibah
(May Allh be pleased with her), Ramlah bint Ab SuIyan, the chieI oI Makkah and leader oI the
mushrikn. She was married to the Prophet`s cousin (son oI his paternal aunt) Ubaydullh ibn Jash al-
Asad, the brother oI the Prophet`s wiIe Zaynab. Her husband Ubaydullh embraced Islm, and she
entered Islm with him, whilst her Iather Ab SuIyan was still a kfir. She and her husband migrated to
Abyssinia with the Iirst Muslims who went there, and leIt her Iather in Makkah, boiling with rage because
his daughter had embraced Islm and there was no way he could get at her.
But the liIe oI this patient Muslim woman was not Iree Irom problems. Sadly, her husband
Ubaydullh leIt Islm and became a Christian, joining the religion oI the Abyssinians. He tried to make
her join him in his apostasy, but she reIused and remained steadIast in her Iaith. She had given birth to her
daughter pabibah, and was now known as Umm pabibah. She withdrew Irom people, and Ielt as iI she
would die oI grieI and sorrow because oI all the disasters that had beIallen her. She and her daughter were
alone in a strange land, and all the ties between her and her Iather and husband had been cut. The Iather oI
her small daughter was now a Christian, and the child`s grandIather at that time was a mushrik and an
enemy oI Islm who had declared all-out war on the Prophet (7) in whom she believed and the religion
that she Iollowed.
Nothing could save her Irom this distress and grieI except the care oI the Prophet (7), who was
losing sleep over the believers who had migrated, concerned Ior their welIare and checking on them. He
sent word to the Negus to request him to arrange his marriage to Umm pabibah, the daughter oI Ab
SuIyan, one oI the immigrants to his country, as is explained in the books oI Srah (biography) and
history. Thus Umm pabibah, the daughter oI Ab SuIyan, became one oI the 'Mothers oI the Believers.
Time passed, and as the conquest oI Makkah drew closer, the threat to Quraysh, who had broken the
treaty oI Al-pudaybiyah, became ever more apparent. Their leaders met and realized that Muhammad
(7) would never keep quiet about their betrayal or accept the humiliation they had inIlicted on him. So
126
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/4, Kitb al-istidhan, bb birr al-walidavn.
42
they agreed to send an envoy to Madnah, to negotiate a renewal and extension oI the treaty with
Muhammad (7). The man chosen Ior this task was Ab SuIyan ibn parb.
Ab SuIyan came to Madnah, and was nervous about meeting Muhammad (7). Then he
remembered that he had a daughter in the Prophet`s household, so he sneaked into her house and asked
her to help him achieve what he had come Ior.
Umm pabibah (May Allh be pleased with her) was surprised to see him in her house, as she had not
seen him since she had leIt Ior Abyssinia. She stood up, Iilled with conIusion, not knowing what to do or
say.
Ab SuIyan realised that his daughter was overwhelmed with the shock oI his sudden arrival, so he
asked Ior her permission to sit down, and went over to sit on the bed. He was stunned when his daughter
Ramlah rushed to grab the mattress and roll it up. He said, 'O my daughter, I do not understand. Is this
mattress not good enough Ior me or am I not good enough Ior it? She said, 'It belongs to the Messenger
oI Allh (7), and you are a mushrik, so I do not want you to sit on it.
Ramlah bint Ab SuIyan aIIirmed her loyalty (wal) to Allh (,). She had no regrets about her
worthless husband, who had sold his religion Ior this world. She remained steadIast in her Iaith, bearing
the pain oI grieI and loneliness in a strange land, where she was most in need oI a husband to protect her
and take care oI her daughter. Allh (,), the MuniIicent Bestower, compensated her with the best that
any woman could have hoped Ior at that time, and made her the wiIe oI the Prophet (7), and so her
status was raised to that oI one oI the 'Mothers oI the Believers.
The shock oI seeing her Iather so suddenly aIter many years did not make her Iorget her loyalty to
Allh (,) and His Messenger (7). She pulled the Prophet`s mattress away Irom her Iather because he
was a kfir, and she did not want to let him contaminate it by sitting on it. This is the attitude oI a Muslim
woman who is proud oI her religion: her soul is Iilled with Iaith and there is no room Ior tribalism or
loyalty to any other than Allh (,) and His religion.
Throughout history, Muslim women`s pride in their Islmic identity gave them the strength and
determination to resist temptations and threats, and protected them Irom being overwhelmed by the Iorces
oI kufr and Ialsehood, no matter how powerIul these were. The Muslim women`s souls were Iilled with
the unquenchable Iire oI Iaith, as we see in the steadIastness oI Pharaoh`s wiIe, who challenged the entire
Pharaonic world with all its temptations and pleasures, caring little about the punishments heaped upon
her by her husband because oI her Iaith, and repeating her prayer:
C my Fccc, 8ui|c fcr me, in necrne:: Ic Ycu, c mcn:icn in Ihe Gcrcen, cnc :cve me frcm Fhcrcch
cnc hi: ccing:, cnc :cve me frcm Ihc:e IhcI cc wrcng. (Qur`n 66: 11)
Seeking the pleasure oI Allh and striving to make His word supreme on earth come above any other
goals or ambitions. The true Muslim woman never Iorgets this truth, and as time passes her pride in her
Islmic identity, her devotion to this unique, divinely-ordained way oI liIe, and her loyalty to Allh (,)
grows Irom strength to strength.
She Lnjoins Whut is Good und Iorbids Whut is Lvil
The Muslim woman who understands her religion reads the vah:
Ihe 8e|iever:, men cnc wcmen, cre prcIecIcr:, cne cf cncIher: Ihey enjcin whcI i: ju:I, cnc fcrLic
whcI i: evi|: Ihey cL:erve regu|cr prcyer:, prccIi:e regu|cr chcriIy, cnc cLey /||h cnc Hi:
Me::enger. Cn Ihem wi|| /||h pcur Hi: Mercy: fcr /||h i: Exc|Iec in Fcwer, /||-Wi:e. (Qur`n 9: 71)
-which Allh (,) revealed IiIteen hundred years ago, and she Iinds herselI on the highest level oI
intellectual and social status that any woman oI any nation or race has ever known. Islm has stated that
women are Iully human, and are legally competent and independent. There is no diIIerence between
women and men when it comes to owning property, buying or selling, or arranging a marriage. This is
something, which had never previously been the case in any nation, where women were seen as
possessions oI men, under their tutelage and command. This vah, Ihe 8e|iever:, men cnc wcmen, cre
prcIecIcr:, cne cf cncIher. raises women to the level oI loyalty and Iriendship with men, and makes
them partners in the work oI enjoining what is good and Iorbidding what is evil. Women are responsible
43
Ior IulIilling this duty on equal terms with men, as both are charged with the duty oI populating and
cultivating the earth, and worshipping Allh (,) therein.
Thus Islm rescued women Irom their position oI being mere chattels oI men, which in most cases had
given men control over liIe and death, and raised them to the level oI equality and humanity.
When Islm gave women the duty oI enjoining what is good and Iorbidding what is evil, it gave her
the status oI a human being who, Ior the Iirst time in history, was giving orders whereas under other
systems she was the one to whom orders were always given.
Islm declared that in the sight oI Allh (,), both sexes were equally qualiIied to worship Him, and
were equally deserving oI His mercy. There is a great deal oI prooI oI this in the Qur`n and Sunnah.
Our history is Iilled with women whose words and deeds reIlect their noble Islmic character. They
spoke the truth, and Ielt that they had a responsibility beIore Allh (,) to do so, and were never aIraid to
do so.
One example oI the strength and maturity oI Muslim women`s character, and the Ireedom that they
had to express their opinions, is the criticism voiced by a woman who was listening to the khalfah Umar
ibn al-Khab Iorbidding excessive dowries and advocating that they should be limited to a certain
amount. This woman stood up and said, 'You have no right to do that, O Umar! He asked, 'Why not?
She said, 'because Allh (,) says:
8uI if ycu cecice Ic Icke cne wife in p|cce cf cncIher, even if ycu hcc given Ihe |cIIer c whc|e
Irec:ure fcr ccwer, Icke ncI Ihe |ec:I LiI cf iI Lcck: wcu|c ycu Icke iI Ly :|cncer cnc c mcnife:I
wrcng? (Qur`n 4: 20)
'Umcr :cic, Ihe wcmcn i: righI, cnc Ihe mcn i: mi:Icken."
127
The khalfah Umar listened to this woman, and when it became apparent that she was right, he
admitted that she was right, and he was mistaken. Thus a Muslim woman set the earliest historic
precedent oI criticizing the head oI state, and what a head oI state! This was the rightly-guided khalfah,
the greatest ruler oI his age, a man who was Ieared, the conqueror oI Persia and Byzantium. This woman
could not have criticized and opposed him iI it were not Ior her deep understanding oI the religion that
had given her the right to Ireedom oI expression, and commanded her to enjoin that which was good and
Iorbid that which was evil.
She OIten Reuds the Qur`n
In order to reach this high level oI obedience, righteousness and taqw, the Muslim woman has no
choice but to seek guidance in the blessed Book oI Allh (,), sheltering herselI in its shade every day.
She should read Qur`n regularly, reciting it careIully and thinking about the meaning oI the vt. Then
its meaning may penetrate her mind and emotions, and her heart and soul will be Iilled with the light oI
its pure guidance.
It is enough Ior the Muslim woman to know the status oI the one who reads Qur`n in the sight oI
Allh (,), as the Prophet (7) described it in a number oI adth. So she should read Qur`n whenever
she has the opportunity, and her days and nights should be Iilled with recitation oI its vt and reIlection
upon its meaning. The Prophet (7) said:
Ihe |ikene:: cf c Le|iever whc recc: Ihe Curn i: |ike c ciIrcn, whc:e :me|| i: p|ec:cnI cnc whc:e Ic:Ie i:
p|ec:cnI: Ihe |ikene:: cf c Le|iever whc cce: ncI recc Ihe Cur n i: |ike c ccIe, which hc: nc :me||, LuI iI:
Ic:Ie i: :weeI: Ihe |ikene:: cf Ihe hypccriIe whc recc: Ihe Cur n i: |ike c frcgrcnI f|cwer which hc: c
p|ec:cnI :me|| LuI whc:e Ic:Ie i: LiIIer: cnc Ihe|ikene:: cf c hypccriIe whc cce: ncI recc Ihe Cur n i:
|ike c cc|ccynIh {LiIIer-cpp|e), which hc: nc :me|| cnc iI: Ic:Ie i: LiIIer."
128
Fecc Ihe Curn, fcr iI wi|| ccme fcrwcrc cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn Ic inIercece fcr iI: reccer:."
129
Ihe
cne whc recc: Ihe Curn f|uenI|y i: wiIh Ihe hcncurcL|e picu: :criLe:
130
, cnc Ihe cne whc recc: Ihe
Curn cnc :Irugg|e: Ic recc iI even Ihcugh iI i: cifficu|I fcr him, wi|| receive c ccuL|e rewcrc."
131
127
See Fat al-Br, Kitb al-nikah; also Sheikh Ali al-Tantawi, Akhbar Umar, p 393.
128
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah 4/431, Kitb fadail al-Qurn. bb fadl tilwat al-Qurn.
129
6a Muslim, 6/90, Kitb alt al-musafirn, bb fadl qiraat al-Qurn.
44
Knowing this, how can any Muslim woman Iail to read the Qur`n, no matter how busy she is with
household duties and the role oI wiIe and mother? Can she neglect the Qur`n and deprive herselI oI its
great blessing and the reward which Allh (,) has prepared Ior those who read it?
In conclusion, this is the attitude oI the true Muslim woman towards her Rabb: she has deep Iaith in Allh
(,) (and willingly submits to His will and decree; she worships Him sincerely, obeying all His commands and
heeding all His prohibitions; she understands what it means to be a true servant oI Allh (,); she constantly
strives to support His religion and to make His word supreme on earth; she is proud oI her Muslim identity,
which draws its strength Irom her understanding oI the purpose oI human existence in this liIe, as deIined by
Allh (,) in the Qur`n: l hcve cn|y crecIec |nn: cnc men, IhcI Ihey mcy :erve Me. (Qur`n 51: 56)
CHAPTER 2
The Muslim Woman and Her Own Self
Introduction
Islm encourages the Muslims to stand out among people, readily distinguishable by their dress,
appearance and behaviour, so that they will be a good example, worthy oI the great message that they
bring to humanity. According to the adth narrated by the great 6ab Ibn al-panzaliyyah, the Prophet
(7) told his Companions, when they were travelling to meet some brothers in Iaith:
Ycu cre gcing Ic vi:iI ycur LrcIher:, :c repcir ycur :ccc|e: cnc mcke :ure IhcI ycu cre cre::ec we||, :c
IhcI ycu wi|| :Icnc cuI cmcng pecp|e |ike cn cccrnmenI, fcr /||h {,) cce: ncI |cve ug|ine::."
132
The Prophet (7) considered an unkempt and careless appearance, and scruIIy clothes and
Iurnishings, to be Iorms oI ugliness, which is hated and Iorbidden by Islm.
Islm encourages the Muslims in general to stand out among the people; the Muslim woman, in
particular, is encouraged to be distinct Irom other people in her appearance, because this reIlects well on
her, and on her husband, Iamily and children.
The Muslim woman does not neglect her appearance, no matter how busy she is with her domestic
chores and the duties oI motherhood. She is keen to look good, without going to extremes, because a
good appearance is an indication oI how well she understands herselI, her Islmic identity, and her
mission in liIe. The outward appearance oI a woman cannot be separated Irom her inner nature: a neat,
tidy and clean exterior reIlects a noble and decent inner character, both oI which go to make up the
character oI the true Muslim woman.
The smart Muslim woman is one who strikes a balance between her external appearance and internal
nature. She understands that she is composed oI a body, a mind and a soul, and gives each the attention it
deserves, without exaggerating in one aspect to the detriment oI others. In seeking to strike the right
balance, she is Iollowing the wise guidance oI Islm, which encourages her to do so.
How can the Muslim woman achieve this balance between her body, mind and soul?
130
i.e., the angels who record the deeds oI man. The meaning is that one who is well-versed in Qur`n will enjoy such a high status in the
HereaIter that he will be in the exalted company oI these pious scribes. |Translator|
131
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 4/429, 430, Kitb fadail al-Qurn, bb fadl tilwat al-Qurn.
132
Reported by Ab Dwd, 4/83, in Kitb al-libs, bb ma faa fi isbal al-i:ar; its isnd is 6a.
45
1 - HER BODY
Moderution in Iood und rink
The Muslim woman takes good care oI her body, promoting its good health and strength. She is
active, not Ilabby or overweight. So she does not eat to excess; she eats just enough to maintain her
health and energy. This is in accordance with the guidance oI Allh (,) in the Qur`n:
.EcI cnc crink: LuI wc:Ie ncI Ly exce::, fcr /||ch |cve: ncI Ihe wc:Ier:. (Qur`n 7: 31)
The Prophet (7) also advised moderation in Iood and drink:
Ihere i: nc wcr:e ve::e| fcr Ihe :cn cf bccm Ic fi|| Ihcn hi: :Icmcch, LuI if he mu:I fi|| iI, Ihen |eI him c||cw
cne-Ihirc fcr fccc, cne-Ihirc fcr crink, cnc cne-Ihirc fcr cir."
133
Umar (W) said:
'Beware oI Iilling your stomachs with Iood and drink, Ior it is harmIul to the body and causes sickness
and laziness in perIorming prayers. Be moderate in both Iood and drink, Ior that is healthier Ior your
bodies and Iurthest removed Irom extravagance. Allh (,) will hate the Iat man (one who revels in a liIe
oI luxury), and a man will not be condemned until he Iavours his desires over his religion.
134
The Muslim woman also steers clear oI drugs and stimulants, especially those which are
clearly known to be arm, and she avoids the bad habits that many women have Iallen into in
societies that have deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,) and His Messenger, such as staying
up late at night to waste time in idle pursuits. She goes to sleep early and gets up early to start the
day`s activities with energy and enthusiasm. She does not weaken her energy with late nights and
bad habits; she is always active and eIIicient, so that her household chores do not exhaust her and
she can meet her targets.
She understands that a strong believer is more loved by Allh (,) than a weak believer, as the Prophet
(7) taught, so she always seeks to strengthen her body by means oI a healthy liIestyle.
She Lxercises Regulurly
The Muslim woman does not Iorget to maintain her physical Iitness and energy by Iollowing the
healthy practices recommended by Islm. But she is not content only with the natural, healthy diet
reIerred to above: she also Iollows an organized exercise program, appropriate to her physical
condition, weight, age and social status. These exercises give her body agility, beauty, good health,
strength and immunity to disease; this will make her more able to carry out her duties, and more Iit to
IulIil her role in liIe, whether it be as a wiIe or mother, young girl or old woman.
Her Body und Clothes ure Cleun
The Muslim woman who truly Iollows the teachings oI Islm keeps her body and clothes very clean.
She bathes Irequently, in accordance with the teachings oI the Prophet (7), who advised Muslims to
take baths, especially on Eridays: 'Have a bath on Eridays and wash your heads, even iI you are not in a
state oI fanbah (impurity, e.g. Iollowing marital relations), and wear perIume.
135
Whcever cIIenc: Friccy prcyer, mcn cr wcmcn, :hcu|c Icke c LcIh {gnu:')."
136
The Prophet (7) placed such a great emphasis on cleanliness and bathing that some oI the Imms
considered perIorming ghusl beIore Eriday prayer to be obligatory (wfib).
Ab Hurayrah (W) reported that the Prophet (7) said:
133
A 6a hasan adth narrated by Amad, 4/132, and Tirmidh, 4/18, in Kitb al-:uhd, bb ma faa fi karahivvah kathirat al-akl.
134
Kan: al- amml, 15/433. See also the valuable article on the harmIul eIIects oI over-Iilling the stomach on a person`s body, mind and
soul, by Muhammad Nzim Nasim MD in Hadarah al-Islm, Nos. 5, 6, Vol. 15.
135
Fat al-Br, 2/370, Kitb al-fumuah, bb al-dahn lil-fumuah. Note: The command to wear perIume applies to men only; it is Iorbidden
Ior women to wear perIume when they go out. |Translator|
136
A adth narrated by Abdullh ibn Umar and recorded as a by Ab Awanah, Ibn Khazimah and Ibn pibbn. See also Fat al-Br,
2/356, Kitb al-fumuah, bb fadl al-ghusl vawm al-fumuah.
46
lI i: Ihe cuIy cf every Mu:|im Ic Icke c LcIh {cI |ec:I) cnce every :even ccy:, cnc Ic wc:h hi: hecc cnc
Lccy."
137
Cleanliness is one oI the most essential requirements oI people, especially women, and one oI the
clearest indicators oI a sound and likeable character. Cleanliness makes a woman more likeable not only
to her husband, but also to other women and her relatives.
Imm Amad and Al-Nis` report that Jbir (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccme Ic vi:iI u:, cnc :cw c mcn whc wc: wecring cirIy c|cIhe:. He :cic,
'Ccu|c Ihi: per:cn ncI finc cnyIhing wiIh which Ic wc:h hi: c|cIhe:?"
The Prophet (7) hated to see people come out in public wearing dirty clothes when they were able to
clean them; he drew attention to the Iact that the Muslim should always be clean, smart and pleasing to
look at.
This teaching which is directed at men, is directed even more so at women, who are usually thought oI
as being cleaner, the source oI joy and tranquillity in the home. There is no doubt that the woman`s deep
sense oI cleanliness reIlects on her home, her husband and her children, because it is by virtue oI her
concern Ior cleanliness that they will be clean and tidy.
No researcher, oI whatever era or country, can Iail to notice that this teaching which encourages
cleanliness and bathing, came IiIteen hundred years ago, at a time when the world knew next to nothing
oI such hygienic habits. A thousand years later, the non-Muslim world had still not reached the level oI
cleanliness that the Muslims had reached.
In her book Min al-riqq ilal-savdah, Samah A. Wird says: 'There is no need Ior us to go back to
the time oI the Crusades in order to know the level oI civilization in Europe at that time. We need go back
no Iurther than a Iew hundred years, to the days oI the Ottoman Empire, and compare between the
Ottomans and the Europeans to see what level the Ottoman civilization had reached.
'In 1624, Prince Brandeboug wrote the Iollowing on the invitations to a banquet that he sent to other
princes and nobles: Guests are requested not to plunge their hands up to the elbow in the dishes; not to
throw Iood behind them; not to lick their Iingers; not to spit on their plates; and not to blow their noses on
the edges oI the tablecloths.`
The author adds: 'These words clearly indicate the level oI civilization, culture, knowledge and
manners among the Europeans. At the same time, in another part oI Europe, the situation was not much
diIIerent. In the palace oI the King oI England (George I), the ugly smell emanating Irom the persons oI
the King and his Iamily overpowered the grandeur oI their Iine, lace-edged Erench clothes. This is what
was happening in Europe. Meanwhile in Istanbul, the seat oI the khilafah, it is well-known that the
European ambassadors who were authorized by the Ottoman state would be thrown into baths beIore they
could approach the sultan. Sometime around 1730, during the reign oI Sultn Amad III, when the
Ottoman state entered its political and military decline, the wiIe oI the English ambassador in Istanbul,
Lady Montague, wrote many letters which were later published, in which she described the level oI
cleanliness, good manners and high standards among the Muslims. In one oI her memoirs she wrote that
the Ottoman princess pIidhah had given her a giIt oI a towel that had been hand-embroidered; she liked
it so much that she could not even bear to wipe her mouth with it. The Europeans were particularly
astounded by the Iact that the Muslims used to wash their hands beIore and aIter every meal. It is enough
to read the words oI the Iamous English nurse Elorence Nightingale, describing English hospitals in the
mid-nineteenth century, where she describes how these hospitals were Iull oI squalor, negligence and
moral decay, and the wings oI these hospitals were Iull oI sick people who could not help answering the
call oI nature on their beds..
138
What a great contrast there is between the reIined civilization oI Islm and other, human civilizations!
She Tukes Cure oI her Mouth und Teeth
The intelligent Muslim woman takes care oI her mouth, Ior no-one should ever have to smell an
unpleasant odour coming Irom it. She does this by cleaning her teeth with a siwk, toothbrush, toothpaste
137
Agreed upon. See Shar al-Sunnah, 2/166, Kitb al-havd, bb ghusl al-fumuah.
138
See Samah A. Wird, Min al-riqq ilalsavadah, Damla Yavinevi No. 89, p. 28II.
47
and mouthwash aIter every meal. She checks her teeth and visits the dentist at least once a year, even iI
she does not Ieel any pain, in order to keep her teeth healthy and strong. She consults otolaryngologists
('ear, nose and throat doctors) iI necessary, so that her breath will remain clean and Iresh. This is
undoubtedly more beIitting Ior a woman.
'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) u:ec Ic Le very ci|igenI in Icking ccre cf her IeeIh: :he never
neg|ecIec Ic c|ecn Ihem wiIh c :|wk, c: 8ukhr cnc Mu:|im repcrIec frcm c numLer cf Ihe 6cccn.
Bukhr reported Irom Urwah (May Allh be pleased with her) via A:
We Ieurd 'bIsIuI LIe MoLIer oI LIe BeIIevers cIeunIng Ier LeeLI In LIe room.
139
Muslim also reports Irom Urwah (May Allh be pleased with her) via A: We Ieurd Ier usIng
LIe VLZN.
140
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) never wcke frcm :|eeping cI cny Iime cf ccy cr nighI wiIhcuI c|ecning hi:
IeeIh wiIh c :|wk Lefcre perfcrming wuc "
141
The Prophet`s concern Ior oral hygiene was so great that he said:
lf iI were ncI fcr Ihe fccI IhcI l cic ncI wcnI Ic cverLurcen my unncn, l wcu|c hcve crcerec Ihem Ic
u:e Ihe :|wk Lefcre every prcyer."
142
'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) wc: c:kec whcI Ihe FrcpheI { 7) u:ec Ic cc fir:I when he ccme
hcme. She :cic, U:e :|wk."
143
It is very strange to see that some Muslim women neglect these matters, which are among the most
important elements oI a woman`s character, besides being at the very heart oI Islm.
They are among the most important elements oI a woman`s gentle nature, and they reveal her Ieminine
elegance and beauty. They are also at the heart oI Islm because the Prophet (7) urged cleanliness on
many occasions, and he detested unpleasant odours and an ugly appearance. He said:
Whcever ecI: cnicn:, gcr|ic cr |eek: :hcu|c ncI cpprccch cur mc:ue,Leccu:e whcIever cffenc: Ihe
:cn: cf bccm mcy cffenc Ihe cnge|:."
144
The Prophet (7) banned those who had eaten these pungent vegetables Irom coming anywhere near
the mosque, lest the people and the angels be oIIended by their bad breath, but these smells pale into
insigniIicance beside the stench oI dirty clothes, Iilthy socks, unwashed bodies and unclean mouths that
emanates Irom some careless and unkempt individuals who oIIend others in gatherings.
She Tukes Cure oI Her Huir
The Prophet (7) also taught Muslims to take care oI their hair, and to make it look attractive and
beautiIul, within the limits oI Islmic rulings.
This is reported in the adith quoted by Ab Dwd Irom Ab Hurayrah (W), who said: 'The
Messenger oI Allh (7) said: 'Whcever hc: hcir, |eI him |cck cfIer iI prcper|y."
145
Looking aIter one`s hair, according to Islmic teaching, involves keeping it clean, combing it,
perIuming it, and styling it nicely.
The Prophet (7) did not like people to leave their hair uncombed and unkempt, so that they looked
like wild monsters; he likened such ugliness to the appearance oI the Shavtn. In Al-Muwatt, Imm
Mlik reports a adth with a mursal isnd Irom A ibn Yasr, who said:
139
Fat al-Br, 3/599, Kitb al-umrah, bb kam atamara al-Nabi.
140
6a Muslim, 8/236, Kitb al-paff, bb add amar al-Nabi wa :amanihinna.
141
A asan adth, narrated by Amad (6/160) and Ab Dwd (1/46) in Kitb al-taharah, bb al-siwk.
142
Fat al-Br, 2/374, Kitb al-fumuah, bb al-siwk vawm al-fumuah; 6a Muslim, 3/143, Kitb al-taharah, bb al-siwk.
143
6a Muslim, 3/143, Kitb al-taharah, bb al-siwk.
144
6a Muslim, 5/50, Kitb al-masfid, bb nahi akil al-thum wal-basal an hudur al-masfid.
145
Reported by Ab Dwd, 4/108, in Kitb al-tarafful, bb fi islah al-shar; its isnd is asan.
48
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) wc: in Ihe mc:ue, when c mcn wiIh unkempI hcir cnc cn unIicy Lecrc
ccme in. Ihe FrcpheI {7) pcinIec Ic him, c: if inciccIing Ic him IhcI he :hcu|c Iicy up hi: hcir cnc Lecrc.
Ihe mcn wenI cnc cic :c, Ihen reIurnec. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic, 'l: Ihi: ncI LeIIer Ihcn IhcI cny cne cf ycu
:hcu|c ccme wiIh unkempI hcir, |ccking |ike Ihe Sncytn?"
146
The Prophet`s likening a man with untidy hair to the Shavtn clearly shows how concerned Islm is
with a neat and pleasant appearance, and how opposed it is to scruIIiness and ugliness.
The Prophet (7) always took note oI people`s appearance, and he never saw a scruIIily-dressed man
with untidy hair but he criticized him Ior his selI-neglect. Imm Amad and Al-Nis` report that Jbir
(W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccme Ic vi:iI u:, cnc he :cw cn unkempI mcn whc:e hcir wc: gcing in c||
cirecIicn:, :c he :cic, 'Ccu|c he ncI finc cnyIhing wiIh which Ic cc|m hi: hecc?"
147
II this is how he Prophet (7) taught men to take care oI themselves, then how much more applicable
are his teachings to women, Ior whom beauty and elegance are more beIitting, as they are the ones to
whom men draw close and seek comIort, tranquillity and happiness in their company! It is obvious to the
sensitive Muslim woman that the hair is one oI the most important Ieatures oI a woman`s beauty and
attractiveness.
Good Appeurunce
It is no surprise that the Muslim woman is concerned with her clothes and appearance, without going
to extremes or making a wanton display oI herselI. She presents a pleasing appearance to her husband,
children, maram relatives and other Muslim women, and people Ieel comIortable with her. She does not
put them oII with an ugly or untidy appearance and she always checks herselI and takes care oI herselI, in
accordance with the teachings oI Islm, which asks its Iollowers to look good in ways that are permitted.
In his commentary on the vah:
Scy: Whc hc: fcrLiccen Ihe LecuIifu| |gifI:] cf /||h, which He hc: prccucec fcr Hi: :ervcnI:, cnc
Ihe Ihing:, c|ecn: cnc pure, |which He hc: prcvicec] fcr :u:Iencnce?. (Qur`n 7: 32)
/|-CurIuL :cic: Mckh| repcrIec frcm 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her): '/ grcup cf Ihe
Ccmpcnicn: cf Ihe FrcpheI {7) were wciIing cI Ihe cccr fcr him, :c he prepcrec Ic gc cuI Ic meeI
Ihem. Ihere wc: c ve::e| cf wcIer in Ihe hcu:e, cnc he peerec inIc iI, :mccIhing hi: Lecrc cnc hi: hcir.
{'bi:hch :cic) l c:kec him, C Me::enger cf /|| h, even ycu cc Ihi:?" He :cic, Ye:, when c mcn gce: cuI
Ic meeI hi: LrcIher:, |eI him prepcre him:e|f prcper|y, fcr /||h {,) i: LecuIifu| cnc |cve: LecuIy.""
148
The Muslim does all oI this in accordance with the Islmic ideal oI moderation, avoiding the extremes
oI either exaggeration or negligence:
Ihc:e whc, when Ihey :penc, cre ncI exIrcvcgcnI cnc ncI niggcrc|y, LuI hc|c c ju:I |Lc|cnce]
LeIween Ihc:e |exIreme:]. (Qur`n 25: 67)
Islm wants its Iollowers, and especially its advocates (dut), to stand out in gatherings in an
attractive Iashion, not to appear unsightly or unbearable. Neglecting one`s appearance to the extent oI
being oIIensive to one`s companions in the name oI asceticism and humility is not part oI Islm. The
Prophet (7), who was the epitome oI asceticism and humility, used to dress in decent clothes and
present a pleasant appearance to his Iamily and companions. He regarded dressing well and looking good
to be a demonstration oI the Blessings oI Allh (,): /||h {,) |cve: Ic :ee Ihe :ign: cf Hi: gifI: cn Hi:
:ervcnI."
149
Ibn Sad reports in Al-Tabaqt (4/346) that Jundb ibn Makith (W) said:
Whenever c ce|egcIicn ccme Ic meeI Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7), he wcu|c wecr hi: Le:I c|cIhe: cnc
crcer hi: |eccing Ccmpcnicn: Ic cc |ikewi:e. l :cw Ihe FrcpheI { 7) cn Ihe ccy IhcI Ihe ce|egcIicn cf
146
Al-Muwatt, 2/949, Kitb al-shar, bb islah al-shar.
147
A a adth reported by Amad (3/357) and Al-Nisa` (8/183) in Kitb al-:inah, bb taskn al-shar.
148
See Tafseer al-Qurtub, 7/197.
149
A asan adth narrated by Tirmidh, 4/206, in Kitb al-istidhan, bb athar al-nimah alal-abd.
49
Kincch ccme Ic meeI him: he wc: wecring c Yemen gcrmenI, cnc /L 8ckr cnc 'Umcr were cre::ec
:imi|cr|y."
Ibn al-Mubarak, Tabaran, Al-pkim, Al-Bayhaq and others report that Umar (W) said: 'So long as
this taking care oI one`s outward appearance does not go to extremes, then it is part oI the beauty that
Allh (,) has allowed Ior His servants and encouraged them to adopt:
C chi|cren cf bccml Wecr ycur LecuIifu| cppcre| cI every Iime cnc p|cce cf prcyer: ecI cnc crink:
LuI wc:Ie ncI Ly exce::, fcr /||h |cve: ncI Ihe wc:Ier:. Scy, Whc hc: fcrLiccen Ihe LecuIifu| |gifI:]
cf /||h, which He hc: prccucec fcr Hi: :ervcnI:, cnc Ihe Ihing:, c|ecn cnc pure, |which He hc:
prcvicec] fcr :u:Iencnce? Scy: Ihey cre, in Ihe |ife cf Ihi: wcr|c, fcr Ihc:e whc Le|ieve, |cnc] pure|y
fcr Ihem cn Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI. Ihu: cc We exp|cin Ihe Sign: in ceIci| fcr Ihc:e whc
uncer:Icnc. (Qur`n 7: 31-32)
Muslim reports Irom Ibn Masud (W) that the Prophet (7) said:
Nc-cne whc hc: even cn cIcm:-weighI cf price in hi: hecrI wi|| enIer Fcrcci:e." / mcn c:kec him,
WhcI if c mcn |ike: hi: c|cIhe: cnc :hce: Ic |cck gccc?" {Mecning, i: Ihi: ccunIec c: price?) Ihe
FrcpheI {7) :cic: /||h {,) i: LecuIifu| cnc |cve: LecuIy. Frice mecn: cenying Ihe IruIh cnc |ccking
ccwn cn cIher pecp|e."
150
This is the understanding adopted by the 6ahbah and those who Iollowed them sincerely. ThereIore
Imm Ab panIah (W) always took care to dress well and to ensure that he smelled clean and Iresh, and
urged others to do likewise. One day he met a man who used to attend his circle, who was dressed in
scruIIy clothes. He took him to one side and oIIered him a thousand dirhams with which to smarten
himselI up. The man told him, 'I have money; I do not need this. Ab panIah admonished him: 'Have
you not heard the adth, Allh (,) loves to see the signs oI His giIts on His servant`? So you have to
change yourselI, and not appear oIIensive to your Iriend.
Naturally, those who call people to Allh (,) should be better and smarter in appearance than others,
so that they will be better able to attract people and make their message reach their hearts.
Indeed they, unlike others, are required to be like this even iI they do not go out and meet people,
because those who proclaim the word oI Allh (,) should take care oI their appearance and pay attention
to the cleanliness oI their bodies, clothes, nails and hair. They should do this even iI they are in a state oI
isolation or retreat, in response to the call oI the natural inclination oI man (firah) which the Prophet
(7) told us about and outlined its requirements:
Five Ihing: cre pcrI cf Ihe ||cn: circumci:icn, remcving Ihe puLic hcir, p|ucking hcir frcm Ihe crmpiI:,
cuIIing Ihe nci|:, cnc Irimming Ihe mcu:Icche."
151
Taking care oI oneselI in accordance with this firah is something encouraged by Islm and supported
by every person oI common sense and good taste.
She oes Not Go to Lxtremes oI BeuutiIicution or Muke u Wunton ispluy oI
HerselI
Paying attention to one`s appearance should not make a Muslim woman Iall into the trap oI wanton
display (tabarruf) and showing her beauty to anyone other than her husband and maram relatives. She
should not upset the balance which is the basis oI all Islmic teaching, Ior the Muslim woman always
aims at moderation in all things, and is on the alert to prevent any one aspect oI her liIe Irom taking over
at the expense oI another.
She never Iorgets that Islm, which encourages her to look attractive within the permitted limits, is
also the religion that warns her against going to such extremes that she becomes a slave to her
appearance, as the hadith says:
150
6a Muslim, 2/89, Kitb al-imn, bab tarm al-kibr.
151
Fat al-Br, 10/334, Kitb al-libs, bb qass al- sharib; Muslim, 3/146, Kitb al-taharah, bb khisal al-firah.
50
WreIchec i: Ihe :|cve cf Ihe c|n. c|ncn cnc fcncy c|cIhe: cf ve|veI cnc :i|kl lf he i: given, he i:
p|ec:ec, cnc if he i: ncI given, he i: ci:p|ec:ec."
152
Our women today, many oI whom have been inIluenced by the international Iashion houses to such an
extent that a rich women will not wear an outIit more than once, have Iallen into that slavery oI which the
Prophet (7) warned and, as a result, they are trapped in the misery oI that senseless enslavement to
excessively luxurious clothing and accessories. Such women have deviated Irom the purpose Ior which
humanity was created in this world.
One oI the worst excesses that many modern Muslim women have Iallen into is the habit oI showing
oII expensive outIits at wedding parties, which have become Iashion shows where competition is riIe and
is taken to extremes Iar beyond the realms oI common sense and moderation. This phenomenon becomes
clearest when the bride herselI wears all her outIits, which may number as many as ten, one aIter the
other: each time she changes, she comes out and shows it oII to the other women present, exactly like the
Iashion models in the West. It does not even occur to the women among whom this habit is common, that
there may be women present who are Iinancially unable to buy such outIits, and who may be Ieeling
depressed and jealous, or even hostile towards the bride and her Iamily, and other rich people. Nothing oI
this sort would happen iI brides were more moderate, and just wore one or two outIits at their wedding
parties. This is better than that extravagant showing-oII which is contradictory to the balanced, moderate
spirit oI Islm.
No doubt the Muslim woman who has surrounded herselI with the teachings oI this great religion is
spared and protected Irom such Ioolish errors, because she has adopted its principles oI moderation.
2 - HER MIND
She Tukes Cure oI Her Mind by Pursuing Knowledge
The sensitive Muslim woman takes care oI her mind just as she takes care oI her body, because the
Iormer is no less important than the latter. Long ago, the poet Zuhayr ibn Ab Sulm said:
'A man`s tongue is halI oI him, and the other halI is his heart; What is leIt is nothing more than the
image oI Ilesh and blood.
153
This means that a person is essentially composed oI his heart and his tongue, in other words what he
thinks and what he says. Hence the importance oI taking care oI one`s mind and supplying it with all
kinds oI beneIicial knowledge is quite clear.
The Muslim woman is responsible just as a man is, so she is also required to seek knowledge, whether
it is 'religious or 'secular, that will be oI beneIit to her. When she recites the vah 8uI :cy, 'C my
Fccc l /cvcnce me in kncw|ecge. (Qur`n 20: 114) and hears the adth, 'Seeking knowledge is a
duty on every Muslim,
154
she knows that the teachings oI the Qur`n and Sunnah are directed at men and
women equally, and that she is also obliged to seek the kinds oI knowledge that have been made
obligatory Ior individuals and communities (far avn and far kifvah) to pursue them Irom the time that
this obligation was made known to the Muslim society.
The Muslim woman understands the high value that has been placed on knowledge since the earliest
days oI Islm. The women oI the Anr asked the Prophet (7): 'Appoint a special day Ior us when we
can learn Irom you, Ior the men have taken all your time and leIt nothing Ior us. He told them, 'Your
time is in the house oI so-and-so (one oI the women). So he came to them at that place and taught them
there.
155
The Muslim women had a keen desire Ior knowledge, and they never Ielt too shy to ask questions about
the teachings (akm) oI Islm, because they were asking about the truth, and /||h i: ncI c:hcmec |Ic Ie||
ycu] Ihe IruIh (Qur`n 33: 53). Many reports illustrate the conIidence and maturity with which the early
Muslim women posed questions to the Prophet (7), this great teacher, seeking to understand their religion
more Iully.
152
Fat al-Br, 6/81, Kitb al-fihd, bb al-hirasah fil-gha:w fi sabil-Allh.
153
See Hshim (ed.), Jumharah Ashar al-Arab, 1/300, published by Dr al-Qalam, 1406 AH.
154
A asan adth narrated by Ibn Mjah, 1/81, in Al-Muqaddimah, bb fadl al-ulama wal-hath ala talab al-ilm.
155
Fat al-Br, 1/195, Kitb al-ilm, bb al vufal lil-nisa vawm ala hidah fil-ilm.
51
'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) repcrIec IhcI /:m LinI Yczc iLn c|-Sckcn c|-/nriyych c:kec
Ihe FrcpheI {7) cLcuI perfcrming gnu:' cfIer c pericc. He :cic, LeI cne cf ycu {whc hc: fini:hec her
pericc) Icke her wcIer cnc purify her:e|f prcper|y, Ihen pcur wcIer cver her:e|f, Ihen Icke c piece cf
c|cIh IhcI hc: Leen perfumec wiIh mu:k, cnc c|ecn her:e|f wiIh iI." /:m {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh
her) c:kec, Hcw :hcu|c :he c|ecn her:e|f?" Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic, Sucn A''n| Ycu c|ecn ycur:e|f
wiIh iIl" 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) Ic|c her in c whi:per, Wipe cwcy Ihe Ircce: cf L|ccc."
/:m c|:c c:kec him cLcuI perfcrming gnu:' when cne i: in c :IcIe cf cnccn. He :cic, Ycu :hcu|c Icke
ycur wcIer cnc purify ycur:e|f wiIh iI prcper|y, cnc c|ecn ycur:e|f c|| cver, Ihen pcur wcIer cn ycur hecc
cnc ruL iI :c IhcI Ihe wcIer recche: Ihe rccI: cf Ihe hcir, Ihen pcur wcIer c|| cver ycur:e|f."
156
'bi:hch
{Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) :cic, Hcw gccc cre Ihe wcmen cf Ihe Anl Shyne:: cic ncI prevenI
Ihem frcm uncer:Icncing Iheir re|igicn prcper|y."
157
Umm Su|cym LinI Mi|cn, Ihe mcIher cf /nc: iLn M|ik, ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc :cic, C
Me::enger cf /||h, /||h {,) i: ncI c:hcmec {Ic Ie||) Ihe IruIh, :c Ie|| me, cce: c wcmcn hcve Ic perfcrm
gnu:' if :he hc: cn ercIic crecm?" Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :cic, Ye:, if :he :ee: wcIer {i.e., c
ci:chcrge)." Umm Sc|mch ccverec her fcce cuI cf :hyne::, cnc :cic, C Me::enger cf /|| h, ccu|c c
wcmcn hcve :uch c crecm?" He :cic, Ye:, mcy ycur righI hcnc Le ccverec wiIh cu:I, cIherwi:e hcw
ccu|c her chi|c re:emL|e her?"
158
Mu:|im repcrI: IhcI Umm Su|cym ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7), when 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh
her) wc: wiIh him, cnc when Umm Su|cym c:kec Ihi: ue:Iicn, ' bi:hch :cic, C Umm Su|cym, ycu hcve
expc:ec wcmen: :ecreI, mcy ycur righI hcnc Le ruLLec wiIh cu:Il" Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic Ic 'bi:hch,
FcIher ycur hcnc :hcu|c Le ruLLec wiIh cu:I: C Umm Su|cym, |eI c wcmcn perfcrm gnu:' if :he :cw
:uch c crecm."
159
Ihe wcmen cf IhcI uniue genercIicn never he:iIcIec Ic :Irive Ic uncer:Icnc Iheir re|igicn: Ihey wcu|c
puI ue:Iicn: cirecI|y Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cLcuI whcIever hcppenec Ic Ihem. lf Ihey ccuLIec c
per:cn: cpinicn {|ctw), cr were ncI ccnvincec cf iI, Ihey wcu|c enuire furIher unIi| Ihey were :ure IhcI
Ihey uncer:Iccc Ihe mcIIer prcper|y. Ihi: i: Ihe cIIiIuce cf Ihe wi:e cnc inIe||igenI wcmcn. Ihi: wc: Ih e
cIIiIuce cf SuLcy'ch LinI c|-priIh c|-/:|cmiyych, Ihe wife cf Sc'c iLn Khcw|ch, whc wc: frcm 8cn '/mir
iLn Lucyy cnc hcc Leen pre:enI cI 8ccr. He ciec curing Ihe Fcrewe|| Fi|grimcge: :he wc: pregncnI,
cnc gcve LirIh :hcrI|y cfIer hi: cecIh. When her n||: encec, :he prepcrec her:e|f Ic receive cffer: cf
mcrricge. /L|-ScnLi| iLn 8c'kck {c mcn frcm 8cn '/Lcu|-Dr) ccme Ic her cnc :cic, Why cc l :ee
ycu prepcring Ic receive cffer: cf mcrricge? 8y /||h {,), ycu wi|| never geI mcrriec unIi| fcur mcnIh: cnc
Ien: ccy: hcve pc::ec." SuLcy'ch {|cIer) ncrrcIec: When he :cic Ihi: Ic me, l gcI cre::ec cnc wenI Ic
:ee Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) in Ihe evening. l c:kec him cLcuI iI, cnc he Ic|c me IhcI my '|cccn hcc
encec when l gcve LirIh Ic my chi|c, cnc :ci c IhcI l ccu|c geI mcrriec if l wi:hec."
160
SuLcy'ch: effcrI: Ic uncer:Icnc Ihe :nc' ru|ing preci:e|y repre:enI: c L|e::ing cnc LenefiI ncI cn|y fcr
SuLcy'ch her:e|f, LuI fcr c|| Mu:|im wcmen unIi| Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI. Her ccIh wc: cccepIec Ly Ihe
mcjcriIy cf ecr|ier cnc |cIer :chc|cr:, cLcve c|| Ihe fcur |nn:, whc :cic IhcI Ihe '|cccn cf c wiccwec
wcmcn, if :he i: pregncnI, |c:I: unIi| :he give: LirIh, even if :he were Ic give LirIh :c :ccn cfIer her
hu:Lcnc: cecIh IhcI hi: Lccy hcc ncI yeI Leen wc: hec cnc prepcrec fcr Luric|, cnc iI Leccme:
permi::iL|e fcr her Ic re-mcrry.
161
What a great service Subayah did to the scholars oI the Muslim ummah by seeking to understand the
shar rulings precisely and to reach a level oI certainty about this issue.
156
Fat al-Br, 1/414, Kitb al-avd, bb dalk al-marah nafsaha idha tatahharat min al-muhid; 6a Muslim, 4/15, 16, Kitb al-avd, bb
istihbab istimal al-mutaghasilah min al-avd al-misk.
157
See Fat al-Br, 1/228, Kitb al-ilm, bb al-ava fil-ilm; 6a Muslim, 4/16, Kitb al-avd, bb ghusl al-mustahadah wa salatiha.
158
Fat al-Br, 1/228, Kitb al-ilm, bb al-ava fil-ilm; 6a Muslim, 3/223, 224, Kitb al-avd, bb wufub al-ghusl alal-marah bi
khuruf al-maniv minha.
159
6a Muslim, 3/220, Kitb al-avd, bb wufub al-ghusl alalmarah bi khuruf al-maniv minha.
160
See Fat al-Br, 7/310, Kitb al-magha:i, bb istifta Subavah bint al-prith al-Aslamivvah; 6a Muslim, 10/110, Kitb al-talq, bb
inqida iddah al-mutawafa anha :awfuha wa ghavruha.
161
See Shar al-Nawaw li 6a Muslim, 10/109, Kitb al-talq, bb inqida iddah al-mutawafa anha :awfuha bi wad al-haml.
52
Islm has made the pursuit oI knowledge obligatory on women and men alike, as the Prophet (7)
said: 'Seeking knowledge is a duty on every Muslim.
162
In other words, it is a duty on every person,
man or woman, who utters the words oI the shahdah, so it comes as no surprise to see Muslim women
thirsting Ior knowledge, devoting themselves to its pursuit. Muslim women oI all times and places have
understood the importance oI seeking beneIicial knowledge, and the positive eIIects this has on their
own characters and on their children, Iamilies and societies. So they seek knowledge enthusiastically,
hoping to learn whatever will beneIit them in this world and the next.
Whut u Muslim Womun Needs to Know
The Iirst thing that the Muslim woman needs to know is how to read the Qur`n properly (with tafwd),
and to understand its meaning. Then she should learn something oI the sciences oI adth, the srah oI the
Prophet (7), and the history oI the women oI the 6abah and Tabin, who are prominent Iigures in
Islm. She should acquire as much knowledge oI fiqh as she needs to ensure that her worship and daily
dealings are correct, and she should ensure that she has a sound grasp oI the basic principles oI her
religion.
Then she should direct her attention to her primary speciality in liIe, which is to take proper care oI her
house, husband, Iamily and children, Ior she is the one whom Allh (,) has created specially to be a
mother and to give tranquillity and happiness to the home. She is the one to whom Islm has given the
immense responsibility oI raising intelligent and courageous children. Hence there are many proverbs and
sayings nowadays which reIlect the woman`s inIluence on the success oI her husband and children in
their working lives, such as, 'Look Ior the woman, 'Behind every great man is a woman, and 'The one
who rocks the cradle with her right hand rocks the world with her leIt, etc. No woman can do all oI that
unless she is open-minded and intelligent, strong oI personality and pure oI heart. So she is more in need
oI education, correction and guidance in Iorming her distinct Islmic personality.
It is unwise Ior women`s education to be precisely the same as that oI men. There are some matters that
concern women only, that men cannot deal with; and there are matters that concern men only, that women
cannot deal with. There are things Ior which women were created, and others Ior which men were created,
and each person should do that Ior which he or she was created, as the Prophet (7) taught. When the
Muslim woman seeks to learn and specialize in some Iield, she should bear in mind the Islmic teaching
regarding her intellectual, psychological and social make-up, so that she will prepare herselI to IulIil the
basic purpose Ior which she was created, and will become a productive and constructive member oI her
Iamily, society and ummah, not an imitation oI men, competing with them Ior work and taking up a position
among men, as we see in those societies which do not diIIerentiate between males and Iemales in their
educational curricula and employment laws.
Whatever a woman`s academic speciality is, she tries to understand it thoroughly and do her work
perIectly, in accordance with the teaching oI the Prophet (7):
/||h {,) |cve: fcr cny cf ycu, when he cce: :cmeIhing, Ic cc iI we||."
163
Muslim Women`s Achievements in the Iield oI Knowledge
The gates oI knowledge are open to the Muslim woman, and she may enter whichever oI them she
chooses, so long as this does not go against her Ieminine nature, but develops her mind and enhances her
emotional growth and maturity. We Iind that history is Iull oI prominent examples oI remarkable women
who sought knowledge and became highly proIicient.
Eoremost among them is the Mother oI the Believers bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), who
was the primary source oI adth and knowledge oI the sunnah, and was the Iirst faqhah in Islm when
she was still a young woman no more than nineteen years oI age.
Imm al-Zuhr said: 'II the knowledge oI bishah were to be gathered up and compared to the
knowledge oI all the other wives oI the Prophet (7) and all other women, bishah`s knowledge would
be greater.
164
162
A asan adth, narrated by Ibn Mjah, 1/81, in Al-Muqaddimah, bb fadl al-ulama wal-hathth ala talab al-ilm.
163
A asan adth reported by Al-Bayhq in Shuab al-imn, 4/334, Irom bishah.
53
How oIten did the greatest oI the 6abah reIer to her, to hear the Iinal word on matters oI the
Iundamentals oI Islm and precise meanings oI the Qur`n.
Her knowledge and deep understanding were not restricted only to matters oI religion; she was equally
distinguished in poetry, literature, history and medicine, and other branches oI knowledge that were
known at that time. The faqh oI the Muslims, Urwah ibn al-Zubayr, was quoted by his son Hishm as
saying: 'I have never seen anybody more knowledgeable in fiqh or medicine or poetry than bishah.
165
lmm Mu:|im repcrI: IhcI :he hecrc her nephew /| -C:im iLn Muhcmmcc iLn /L 8ckr {W) mcke c
grcmmcIicc| mi:Icke, when he cnc hi: {pcIernc|) ccu:in were Ic|king in frcnI cf her, cnc :he Ic|c him cff
fcr Ihi: mi:Icke. lmm Mu:|im ccmmenIec cn Ihi: incicenI: lLn '/I :cic: '/|-C:im cnc l were Ic|king in
frcnI cf 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her), cnc /|-C:im wc: cne whc mcce freuenI mi:Icke: in
grcmmcr, c: hi: mcIher wc: ncI cn /rcL. 'bi:hch :cic Ic him, Why cc ycu ncI :peck |ike Ihi: :cn cf my
LrcIher? l kncw where Ihe prcL|em ccme: frcm: he wc: LrcughI up Ly hi: mcIher, cncycu were
LrcughI up Ly ycur mcIher."
166
Among the reports in which the books oI literature speak oI the vast knowledge oI bishah is that
which describes how bishah bint alah was present in the circle oI Hishm ibn Abdul-Mlik, where
the sheikhs oI Ban Umayyah were present. They did not mention any point oI Arab history, wars and
poetry but she did not contribute to the discussion, and no star appeared but she did not name it. Hishm
said to her, 'As Ior the Iirst (i.e., knowledge oI history etc.), I Iind nothing strange (in your knowing
about it), but where did you get your knowledge about the stars? She said, 'I learnt it Irom my
(maternal) aunt bishah.
167
'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) hcc c curicu: minc cnc wc: c|wcy: ecger Ic |ecrn. Whenever
:he hecrc cLcuI :cmeIhing :he cic ncI kncw, :he wcu|c c:k cLcuI iI unIi| :he uncer:Iccc iI. Her
c|c:ene:: Ic Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) mecnI IhcI :he wc: |ike c ve::e| fu|| cf kncw|ecge.
lmm 8ukhr repcrI: frcm /L Mu|cykch IhcI 'bi:hch, Ihe wife cf Ihe FrcpheI {7) never hecrc cnyIhing
IhcI :he cic ncI kncw, LuI :he wcu|c keep gcing cver iI unIi| :he uncer:Iccc iI. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic,
Whcever i: LrcughI Ic ccccunI wi|| Le puni:hec." ' bi:hch :cic: l :cic, '8uI cce: /||h {,) ncI :cy 'Sccn
hi: ccccunI wi|| Le Icken Ly cn ec:y reckcning (Qur`n 84: 8) He :cic, IhcI refer: Ic c'-'cc {when
everycne i: LrcughI Lefcre /||h |{,) cn Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI)]: LuI whcever i: excminec in ceIci| i:
cccmec."
168
In addition to her great knowledge, bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) was also very
eloquent in her speech. When she spoke, she captured the attention oI her audience and moved
them deeply. This is what made Al-AnaI ibn Qays say:
'I heard the speeches oI Ab Bakr, Umar, Uthmn, Ali and the khulafa who came aIter them, but I
never heard any speech more eloquent and beautiIul than that oI bishah.
M: iLn c|ch :cic: l never :cw cnycne mcre e|cuenI cnc pure in :peech Ihcn ' bi:hch."
169
Another oI these brilliant women who achieved a high level oI knowledge was the daughter oI Sad
ibn al-Musayyab, the scholar oI his age, who reIused to marry his daughter to the khalfah, Abdul-Mlik
ibn Marwn, and instead married her to one oI his righteous students, Abdullh ibn Wadaah. Abdullh
went in to his wiIe, who was one oI the most beautiIul oI people, and one oI the most knowledgeable in
Qur`n, Sunnah and the rights and duties oI marriage. In the morning, Abdullh got up and was
preparing to go out. His wiIe asked him, 'Where are you going? He said, 'To the circle oI your Iather
Sad ibn al-Musayyab, so that I may learn. She said, 'Sit down; I will teach you what Said knows. Eor
164
Al-Istiab, 4/1883; Al-Isbah, 8/140.
165
Trikh a-abar: pawadth 58; Al-Samt al-Thamin, 82; Al-Istiab, 4/1885.
166
6a Muslim, 5/47, Kitb al-masfd, bb karahah al-alt bi hadrat al-taam.
167
Al-Aghn, 10/57.
168
Fat al-Br, 1/196, Kitb al-ilm, bb man samia shavan fa rafi atta varifuhu.
169
Reported by Tirmidh, 5/364, in Kitb al-munaqib, bb min fadl bishah; he said that it is asan a gharb.
54
one month, Abdullh did not attend Said`s circle because the knowledge that this beautiIul young girl
had learned Irom her Iather (and was passing on to him) was suIIicient.
Another oI these prominent Iemale scholars was Eimah, the daughter oI the author oI Tufat al-
fuqah, Al al-Dn al-Samarqand (d. 539 AH). She was a faqhah and scholar in her own right: she had
learned fiqh Irom her Iather and had memorized his book Al-Tufah. Her Iather married her to his student
Al al-Dn al-Kasan, who was highly distinguished in the Iields oI Al-usl and Al-fur. He wrote a
commentary on Tufat al-fuqah entitled Badi al-sani, and showed it to his sheikh, who was
delighted with it and accepted it as a mahr Ior his daughter, although he had reIused oIIers oI marriage Ior
her Irom some oI the kings oI Byzantium.. The fuqah oI his time said, 'He commentated on his Tufah
and married his daughter. BeIore her marriage, Eimah used to issue fatwas along with her Iather, and
the fatwas would be written in her handwriting and that oI her Iather. AIter she married the author oI Al-
Badi, the fatwas would appear in her handwriting and that oI her Iather and her husband. Her husband
would make mistakes, and she would correct them.
170
bishah, the other wives oI the Prophet (7), the daughter oI Sad ibn al-Musayyab, Eimah al-
Samarqand and other Iamous women scholars were not something unique or rare among Muslim women.
There were innumerable learned women, who studied every branch oI knowledge and became prominent
in many Iields. Ibn Sad devoted a chapter oI Al-abaqt to reports oI padth transmitted by women, in
which he mentioned more than seven hundred women who reported Hadith Irom the Prophet (7), or
Irom the trustworthy narrators among the abah; Irom these women in turn, many prominent scholars
and imms also narrated adth.
Al-pIidh ibn Asakir (d. 571 AH), one oI the most reliable narrators oI adth, who was so
trustworthy that he was known as fi: al-ummah, counted eighty-odd women among his sheikhs and
teachers.
171
II we bear in mind that this scholar never leIt the eastern part oI the Islmic world, and never
visited Egypt, North AIrica or Andalusia - which were even more crowded with women oI knowledge -
we will see that the number oI learned women he never met was Iar greater than those Irom whom he did
receive knowledge.
One oI the phrases used by scholars in the books oI adth is: 'Al-sheikhah al-musnidah al-aliah so-
and-so the daughter oI so-and-so told me. Among the names mentioned by Imm Bukhr are: Sitt al-
Wuzar, Wazrah bint Muhammad ibn Umar ibn Asad ibn al-Munajj al-Tunukhiyyah and Karmah bint
Amad al-Maruziyyah. They are also mentioned by Ibn Hajar al-Asqalln in the introduction to Fat al-
Br.
172
The position oI these great women is enhanced by the Iact that they were sincere and truthIul, Iar above
any hint oI suspicion or doubt - a status that many men could not reach. This was noted by Imm al-pIidh
Adh-Dhahab in Mi:an al-Itidl, where he states that he Iound Iour thousand men about whose reports he
had doubts, then Iollows that observation with the comment: 'I have never known oI any woman who was
accused (oI being untrustworthy) or whose adth was rejected.
173
The modern Muslim woman, looking at the magniIicent heritage oI women in Islmic history is Iilled
with the desire Ior knowledge, as these prominent women only became Iamous and renowned throughout
history by virtue oI their knowledge. Their minds can only be developed, and their characters can only grow
in wisdom, maturity and insight, through the acquisition oI useIul, beneIicial and correct knowledge.
She is not Superstitious
The knowledgeable Muslim woman avoids all the Ioolish superstitions and nonsensical myths that
tend to Iill the minds oI ignorant and uneducated women. The Muslim woman who understands the
teachings oI her religion believes that consulting and accepting the words oI Iortune-tellers, soothsayers,
magicians and other purveyors oI superstition and myths is one oI the major sins that annul the good
deeds oI the believer and spell doom Ior him or her in the HereaIter. Muslim reports Irom some oI the
wives oI the Prophet (7) that he said:
170
Tuhfat al-fuqaha, 1/12.
171
Tabaqt al-shafiivvah, 4/273.
172
Fat al-Br, 1/7.
173
Mi:an al-itidal, 3/395.
55
Whcever gce: Ic c fcrIune-Ie||er cnc c:k: him cLcuI cnyIhing, hi: prcyer: wi|| ncI Le cccepIec fcr fcrIy
ccy:."
174
Ab Dwd reports the adth oI Ab Hurayrah in which the Prophet (7) said:
Whcever gce: Ic c fcrIune-Ie||er cnc Le|ieve: in whcI he :cy:, hc: ci:Le|ievec in IhcI which wc:
revec|ec Ic Muhcmmcc."
175
She Never Stops Reuding und Studying
The Muslim woman does not let her household duties and the burdens oI motherhood prevent her Irom
reading widely, because she understands that reading is the source, which will supply her mind with
nourishment, and knowledge, which it needs in order to Ilourish and grow.
The Muslim woman who understands that seeking knowledge is a duty required oI her by her Iaith can
never stop nourishing her mind with knowledge, no matter how busy she may be with housework or
taking care oI her children. She steals the odd moment, here and there, to sit down with a good book, or a
useIul magazine, so that she may broaden her horizons with some useIul academic, social or literary
knowledge, thus increasing her intellectual abilities.
3 - HER SOUL
The Muslim woman does not neglect to polish her soul through worship, dhikr (remembrance), and
reading Qur`n; she never neglects to perIorm acts oI worship at the appointed times. Just as she takes
care oI her body and mind, she also takes care oI her soul, as she understands that the human being is
composed oI a body, a mind and a soul, and that all three deserve appropriate attention. A person may be
distinguished by the balance he or she strikes between body, mind and soul, so that none is cared Ior at
the expense oI another. Striking this balance guarantees the development oI a sound, mature and moderate
character.
She PerIorms Acts oI Worship Regulurly und PuriIies her Soul
The Muslim woman pays due attention to her soul and polishes it through worship, doing so with a
pure and calm approach that will allow the spiritual meanings to penetrate deep into her being. She
removes herselI Irom the hustle and bustle oI liIe and concentrates on her worship as much as she is able
to. When she prays, she does so with calmness oI heart and clearness oI mind, so that her soul may be
reIreshed by the meaning oI the words oI Qur`n, dhikr and tasbh that she is mentioning. Then she sits
alone Ior a little while, praising and gloriIying Allh, and reciting some vt Irom His Book, and
meditating upon the beautiIul meanings oI the words she is reciting. She checks her attitude and
behaviour every now and then, correcting herselI iI she has done anything wrong or Iallen short in some
way. Thus her worship will bring about the desired results oI purity oI soul, cleansing her oI her sins, and
Ireeing her Irom the bonds oI Shavtn whose constant whispering may destroy a person. II she makes a
mistake or stumbles Irom the Straight Path, the true Muslim woman soon puts it right, seeks Iorgiveness
Irom Allh (,), renounces her sin or error, and repents sincerely. This is the attitude oI righteous, Allh-
Iearing Muslim women:
Ihc:e whc fecr /||h, when c IhcughI cf evi| frcm Sncytn c::cu|I: Ihem, Lring /||h Ic
rememLrcnce, when |cl Ihey :ee crighI. (Qur`n 7: 201)
ThereIore, the Prophet (7) used to tell his Companions: Renew your IuILI. He was asked, 'O
Messenger oI Allh, how do we renew our Iaith? He said, 8y freuenI|y repecIing ' |'cnc |''-A''n."
176
The Muslim woman always seeks the help oI Allh (,) in strengthening and puriIying her soul by
constantly worshipping and remembering Allh (,), checking herselI, and keeping in mind at all times
174
See 6a Muslim, 14/227, Kitb al-salm, bb tarim al-kahanah wa itvan al-kahan.
175
A asan adth narrated by Ab Dwd, 4/21, in Kitb al-ibb, bb fil-kahin.
176
Reported by Amad (2/359) with a favvid isnd.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
56
what will please Allh (,). So whatever pleases Him, she does, and what angers Him, she reIrains Irom.
Thus she will remain on the Straight Path, never deviating Irom it or doing wrong.
She Keeps Compuny with Righteous People und Joins Religious Gutherings
In order to attain this high status, the Muslim woman chooses righteous, Allh-Iearing Iriends, who
will be true Iriends and oIIer sincere advice, and will not betray her in word or deed. Good Iriends have a
great inIluence in keeping a Muslim woman on the Straight Path, and helping her to develop good habits
and reIined characteristics. A good Iriend - in most cases - mirrors one`s behaviour and attitudes:
Dc ncI c:k cLcuI c mcn: c:k cLcuI hi: frienc:, fcr every frienc fc||cw: hi: frienc:."
177
Mixing with decent people is an indication oI one`s good lineage and noble aims in liIe:
8y mixing wiIh ncL|e pecp|e ycu Leccme cne cf Ihem, :c ycu :hcu|c never regcrc cnycne e|:e c: c frienc."
178
So it is as essential to choose good Iriends as it is to avoid doing evil:
lf ycu mix wiIh pecp|e, mcke frienc: wiIh Ihe Le:I cf Ihem, cc ncI mcke frienc: wiIh Ihe wcr:I cf Ihem
|e:I ycu Leccme |ike Ihem."
179
The Muslim woman is keen to attend gatherings where there is discussion oI Islm and the greatness oI
its teachings regarding the individual, Iamily and society, and where those present think oI the power oI
Almighty Allh (,) and His bountiIul blessings to His creation, and encourage one another to obey His
commandments, heed His prohibitions and seek reIuge with Him. In such gatherings, hearts are soItened,
souls are puriIied, and a person`s whole being is Iilled with the joy oI Iaith.
So Abdullh ibn Rawah (W), whenever he met one oI the Companions oI the Prophet (7), used to
say, 'Come, let us believe in our Rabb Ior a while. When the Prophet (7) heard about this, he said,
Mcy /||h hcve mercy cn lLn Fcwch, fcr he |cve: Ihe gcIhering: IhcI Ihe cnge|: fee| prcuc Ic
cIIenc."
180
The rightly-guided khalfah Umar al-Erq (W) used to make the eIIort to take a regular break Irom
his many duties and the burden oI his position as ruler. He would take the hand oI one or two men and
say, 'Come on, let us go and increase our Iaith, then they would remember Allh (,).
181
Even Umar (W), who was so righteous and perIormed so many acts oI worship, Ielt the need to puriIy
his soul Irom time to time. He would remove himselI Ior a while Irom the cares and worries oI liIe, to
reIresh his soul and cleanse his heart. Likewise, Mudh ibn Jabal (W) would oIten say to his
companions, when they were walking, 'Let us sit down and believe Ior a while.
182
The Muslim is responsible Ior strengthening his soul and puriIying his heart. He must always push
himselI to attain a higher level, and guard against slipping down:
8y Ihe Scu|, cnc Ihe prcpcrIicn cnc crcer given Ic iI: cnc Ly iI: en|ighIenmenI c: Ic iI: wrcng cnc
iI: righI - Iru|y he :ucceec: IhcI purifie: iI, cnc he fci|: IhcI ccrrupI: iIl (Qur`n 91: 7-10)
So the Muslim woman is required to choose with care the best Iriends and attend the best gatherings,
so that she will be in an environment which will increase her Iaith and taqw:
/nc keep ycur :cu| ccnIenI wiIh Ihc:e whc cc|| cn Iheir Lcrc mcrning cnc evening, :eeking Hi:
Fcce: cnc |eI ncI ycur eye: pc:: Leycnc Ihem, :eeking Ihe pcmp cnc g|iIIer cf Ihi: Life: ncr cLey
cny whc:e hecrI We hcve permiIIec Ic neg|ecI Ihe rememLrcnce cf U:, cne whc fc||cw: hi: cwn
ce:ire:, whc:e cc:e hc: gcne Leycnc c|| Lcunc:. (Qur`n 18: 28)
177
See Adiyy ibn Zyd al-Ibdi by the author, 172.
178
Anonymous.
179
See Adiyy ibn Zyd al-Ibdi by the author, 172.
180
Reported by Amad (3/265) with a asan isnd.
181
pavt al-6abah, 3/329.
182
Ibid.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
57
She Irequently Repeuts GXV und Supplicutions escribed in ppudth
Another way in which the Muslim woman may strengthen her soul and connect her heart to Allh (,)
is by repeating the supplications which it is reported that the Prophet (7) used to say on various
occasions. So there is a du Ior leaving the house, and others Ior entering the house, starting to eat,
Iinishing a meal, wearing new clothes, lying down in bed, waking up Irom sleep, saying Iarewell to a
traveller, welcoming a traveller back home, etc. There is hardly anything that the Prophet (7) did that
he did not have a du Ior, through which he asked Allh (,) to bless him in his endeavour, protect him
Irom error, guide him to the truth, decree good Ior him and saIeguard him Irom evil, as is explained in the
books oI adth narrated Irom the Prophet (7).
183
He used to teach these dus and adhkr to his
Companions, and encouraged them to repeat them at the appropriate times.
The true Muslim woman is keen to learn these duas and adhkr, Iollowing the example oI the
Prophet (7) and his distinguished Companions, and she keeps repeating them at the appropriate times,
as much as she is able. In this way, her heart will remain Iocused on Allh (,), her soul will be cleansed
and puriIied, and her mn will increase.
The modern Muslim woman is in the utmost need oI this spiritual nourishment, to polish her soul and
keep her away Irom the temptations and unhealthy distractions oI modern liIe, that could spell doom Ior
women in societies which have deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,) and sent groups oI women to
Hell, as the Prophet (7) indicated: l |cckec inIc He||, cnc :cw IhcI Ihe mcjcriIy cf iI: inhcLiIcnI: were
wcmen."
184
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI her religion looks where she is going
and strives to increase her good deeds, so that she may be saved Irom the terriIying trap into which the
devils among mankind and finn in all times and places try to make women Iall.
CHAPTER 3
The Muslim Woman and Her Parents
She Treuts Them with Kindness und Respect (ELUU)
One oI the main distinguishing characteristics oI the true Muslim woman is her respectIul and kind
treatment oI her parents. Islm encourages respect towards and kind treatment oI parents in many
deIinitive texts oI the Qur`n and Sunnah; any Muslim woman who reads these texts has no choice but to
adhere to their teachings and treat her parents with kindness and respect, no matter what the
circumstances or the state oI the relationship between daughter and parents.
She Recognizes Their Stutus und Knows her uties Towurds Them
Erom her reading oI the Qur`n, the Muslim woman understands the high status to which Allh (,) has
raised parents, and that it is a status which mankind has never known except in Islm, which has placed
respect Ior parents just one step below belieI in Allh (,) and true worship oI Him. Many vt oI the
Qur`n describe pleasing one`s parents as coming second only to pleasing Allh (,), and conIirm that
treating parents well is the best oI good deeds aIter having Iaith in Allh (,).
Wcr:hip /||h, cnc jcin ncI cny pcrIner: wiIh Him: cnc cc gccc, Ic pcrenI:. (Qur`n 4: 36)
So the Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI her religion is kinder and more
respectIul towards her parents than any other woman in the world; this does not stop when she leaves the
home to marry and start her own Iamily, and has her own, independent, busy liIe. Her respect and
kindness towards her parents are ongoing and will remain an important part oI her behaviour until the end
183
See, Ior example, Al-Adhkar by Al-Nawaw and EortiIication oI the Muslim by Saeed Ibn Ali Ibn WahI Al-Qahtn.
184
6a Muslim, 17/53, Kitb al-riqaq, bb akthar ahl al-fannah al-fuqar wa akthar ahl al-nr al-nis.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
58
oI her liIe, in accordance with the Qur`nic teaching which has enjoined kind treatment oI parents Ior liIe,
especially when they reach old age and become incapacitated and are most in need oI kind words and
good care:
Ycur Fccc hc: cecreec IhcI ycu wcr:hip ncne LuI Him, cnc IhcI ycu Le kinc Ic pcrenI:. WheIher
cne cr LcIh cf Ihem cIIcin c|c cge in ycur |ife, :cy ncI Ic Ihem c wcrc cf ccnIempI, ncr repe| Ihem,
LuI cccre:: Ihem in Ierm: cf hcncur. /nc, cuI cf kincne::, |cwer Ic Ihem Ihe wing cf humi|iIy, cnc :cy,
'My Fccc l 8e:Icw cn Ihem Ycur Mercy even c: Ihey cheri:hec me in chi|chccc. (Qur`n 17: 23-24)
The Muslim woman whose heart has been illuminated with the light oI Qur`nic guidance is always
receptive and responsive to this divine instruction, which she reads in the vt that enjoin good treatment
oI parents. So her kindness and respect towards them will increase, and she will be even more devoted to
serving them. She will do her utmost to please them, even iI she has a husband, house, children and other
responsibilities oI her own:
Wcr:hip /||h, cnc jcin ncI cny pcrIner: wiIh Him: cnc cc gccc - Ic pcrenI:. (Qur`n 4: 36)
We hcve enjcinec cn mcn kincne:: Ic pcrenI:. (Qur`n 29: 8)
/nc We hcve enjcinec cn mcn |Ic Le gccc] Ic hi: pcrenI:: in Ircvci| upcn Ircvci| cic hi: mcIher
Lecr him (Qur`n 31: 14)
Anyone who looks into the Islmic sources regarding the kind treatment oI parents will also Iind
plenty oI adth that reinIorce the message oI the vt quoted above and reiterate the virtue oI kindness
and respect towards one`s parents, as well as warning against disobedience or mistreatment oI them Ior
any reason whatsoever.
Abdullh ibn Masd said:
l c:kec Ihe FrcpheI {7), 'Which ceec i: mc:I |ikec Ly /|| h {,)? He :cic, 'Frcyer cfferec cn Iime. l
c:kec him, 'Ihen whcI? He :cic, 'Kincne:: cnc re:pecI Icwcrc: pcrenI:. l c:kec him, 'Ihen whcI? He
:cic, 'J|nc fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h {,)."
185
The Prophet (7), this great educator, placed kindness and respect towards parents between two oI the
greatest deeds in Islm: prayer oIIered on time and fihd Ior the sake oI Allh (,). Prayer is the pillar or
Ioundation oI the Iaith, and fihd is the pinnacle oI Islm. What a high status the Prophet (7) has given
to parents!
/ mcn ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) Ic mcke ccy'cn" cnc Ic p|ecge Ic uncerIcke |cn cnc |nc in Ihe
hcpe cf receiving rewcrc frcm /|| h {,). Ihe FrcpheI {7) cic ncI ru:h Ic cccepI hi: ccy'cn, LuI c:kec
him, /re eiIher cf ycur pcrenI: c|ive?" Ihe mcn :cic, Ye:, LcIh cf Ihem." Ihe FrcpheI {7) c:kec, /nc
cc ycu wi:h Ic receive rewcrc frcm /|| h {,)?" Ihe mcn rep|iec, Ye:." Sc Ihe kinc-hecrIec cnc
ccmpc::icncIe FrcpheI {7) Ic|c him, Gc Lcck Ic ycur pcrenI: cnc keep Ihem ccmpcny in Ihe Le:I
pc::iL|e wcy."
186
According to a report narrated by Bukhr and Muslim, a man came and asked the Prophet (7) Ior
permission to participate in fihd. He c:kec him, /re ycur pcrenI: c|ive?" Ihe mcn :cic, Ye:," :c Ihe
FrcpheI {7) Ic|c him, Sc perfcrm |nc Ly Icking ccre cf Ihem."
187
In the midst oI preparing his army Ior fihd, the Prophet (7) did not Iorget the weakness oI parents
and their claims on their children, so he gently discouraged this volunteer and reminded him to take care
oI his parents, despite the Iact that he needed all the manpower he could get Ior the Iorthcoming fihd.
This is because he understood the importance oI respect and kind treatment oI parents, and knew its
position in the overall Islmic Iramework that Allh (,) has designed Ior the well being and happiness oI
mankind.
When the mother oI Sad ibn Ab Waqqa objected to her son`s embracing Islm, she told him: 'Give
up Islm, or I will go on hunger strike until I die. Then you will Ieel shame beIore the Arabs, as they will
185
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 2/176, Kitb al-alt, bb fadl al-alawt al-khams.
186
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 191, bb birr al-wlidavn.
187
See Rivd al-salin, 191, bb birr al-wlidavn
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
59
say that he killed his mother. Sad told her, 'You should know that, by Allh (,), even iI you had a
hundred souls, and they leIt your body one by one, I would never give up Islm. Then Allh (,)
revealed an vah which the Prophet (7) recited to the Muslims, in which Sad was rebuked Ior the
harshness oI his reply to his mother:
8uI if Ihey :Irive Ic mcke ycu jcin in wcr:hip wiIh Me Ihing: cf which ycu hcve nc
kncw|ecge, cLey Ihem ncI: yeI Lecr Ihem ccmpcny in Ihi: |ife wiIh ju:Iice |cnc
ccn:icercIicn]. (Qur`n 31: 15)
The story oI the devoted worshipper Jurayj, which was told by the Prophet (7), is a vivid illustration
oI the importance oI respecting one`s parents and being quick to obey them. One day his mother called
him whilst he was praying, and he wondered, 'My Rabb, my mother or my prayer? He chose to continue
his prayer (rather than answering his mother). She called him a second time, but he continued praying and
did not answer her. Then she called him a third time, and when he did not respond she prayed to Allh
(,) not to let him die until he had seen the Iace oI a prostitute. There was a prostitute in that locality who
had committed adultery with a shepherd and become pregnant. When she realised that she was with child,
the shepherd told her: 'II you are asked about the Iather oI the baby, say it is Jurayj, the devoted
worshipper. This is what she said, so the people went and destroyed the place where he used to pray. The
ruler brought him to the public square, and on the way Jurayj remembered his mother`s prayer and
smiled. When he was brought Iorth to be punished, he asked Ior permission to pray two rakhs, then he
asked Ior the inIant to be brought Iorth and whispered in his ear, 'Who is your Iather? The inIant said,
'My Iather is so-and-so, the shepherd.
188
The people exclaimed 'L ilaha illa-Allh` and 'Allhu
akbar! They told Jurayj, 'We will rebuild your prayer-place with silver and gold! He said, 'No, just
rebuild it as it was, with bricks and mortar. Concerning this story, which is reported by Bukhr, the
Prophet (7) said: 'II Jurayj had sound knowledge, he would have known that answering his mother was
more important than continuing his prayer.
189
Hence the fuqah suggested that iI one is praying a nafil
prayer and one oI one`s parents calls one, one is obliged to stop one`s prayer and answer them.
The duty to treat one`s parents with kindness and respect sunk into the consciousness oI the Muslims,
so they hastened to treat their parents well both during their lives and aIter their deaths. There are many
reports and padth that indicate this, Ior example the report that describes how a woman oI Juhaynah
came to the Prophet (7) and said: My mcIher mcce c vcw {nccn) Ic perfcrm pcjj LuI :he cic ncI
perfcrm pcjj Lefcre :he ciec. Mcy l perfcrm pcjj cn her Lehc|f?" He :cic, Ye:, gc cncperfcrm pcjj cn
her Lehc|f. lf ycu knew IhcI ycur mcIher hcc c ceLI, wcu|c ycu ncI pcy iI cff fcr her? Fcy cff whcI i: cue
Ic /||h {,), fcr /||h {,) hc: mcre righI Ic Le pcic cff."
190
/cccrcing Ic c repcrI given Ly Mu:|im, :he c:kec, She cwec c mcnIh:fc:Iing, :c mcy l fc:I cn her
Lehc|f?" Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, Fc:I cn her Lehc|f." She :cic, She never perfcrmec pcjj, :c mcy l
perfcrm pcjj cn her Lehc|f?" He :cic, Ferfcrm pcjj cn her Lehc|f."
191
She is Kind und RespectIul Towurds Her Purents Lven iI They Are Not Muslim
The Prophet (7) raised his teachings to a new peak when he enjoined his Iollowers to treat their parents
with kindness and respect even iI they were adherents oI a religion other than Islam. This is clear Irom the
adth oI Asm bint Ab Bakr al-6iddq, who said:
My mcIher ccme Ic me, cnc :he wc: c nu:n|k cI Ihe Iime cf Ihe FrcpheI {7). l c:kec Ihe FrcpheI {7),
'My mcIher hc: ccme Ic me cnc neec: my he|p, :c :hcu|c l he|p her? He :cic, 'Ye:, keep in Icuch wiIh
ycur mcIher cnc he|p her."
192
188
This child is one oI the three who spoke in the cradle. The other two are Eesa ibn Maryam (Jesus the son oI Mary) and the child who was with his
mother among the people oI Al-Ukhdud (the ditch). |Author|
189
See Fat al-Br, 3/78, Kitb al-aml fil-alh, bb idha daat al-umm waladaha fil-alt, and 5/136, Kitb al-ma:alim, bb idha
hadama haitan falvabni ghavrahu.
190
See Fat al-Br, 4/64, Kitb fu: al-savd, bb al-haff wal-nudhur.
191
6a Muslim, 8/25, Kitb al-ivam, bb qada al-awm an al-mavit.
192
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/13, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb ilat al-wlid al-mushrik.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
60
The true Muslim who understands the meaning oI this Qur`nic guidance and the teachings oI the
Prophet (7) cannot but be the best and kindest oI all people towards his parents, at all times. This is the
practice oI the 6abah and those who Iollowed them sincerely. A man asked Sad ibn Musayyab (W):
'I understood all oI the avh about kindness and respect towards parents, apart Irom the phrase but
address them in terms oI honour.` How can I address them in terms oI honour? Sad replied: 'It means
that you should address them as a servant addresses his master. Ibn Srn (W) used to speak to his mother
in a soIt voice, like that oI a sick person, out oI respect Ior her.
She is Lxtremely Reluctunt to isobey Them
Just as the Muslim woman hastens to treat her parents with kindness and respect, she is also aIraid to
commit the sin oI disobeying them, because she realises the enormity oI this sin which is counted as one oI the
major sins (Al-kabir). She is aware oI the Irightening picture which Islm paints oI the one who disobeys her
parents, and this stirs her conscience and soItens any hardness oI heart or harsh Ieelings that she might be
harbouring.
Islm draws a comparison between disobedience towards one`s parents and the crime oI associating
partners with Allh (,), just as it establishes a link between true Iaith in Allh (,) and respectIul treatment
oI parents. Disobedience to one`s parents is a heinous crime, which the true Muslim woman is loath to
commit, Ior it is the greatest oI major sins and the worst oI errors.
Ab Bakrah NuIay ibn al-prith said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) c:kec u: Ihree Iime:, 'Shc|| l Ie|| ycu Ihe grecIe:I :in:? We :cic, 'Ye:, C
Me::enger cf /||h. He :cic, '/::ccicIing pcrIner: wiIh /|| h {,) cnc ci:cLeying cne: pcrenI:."
193
Her Mother Comes Iirst, Then Her Iuther
Islm has encouraged respect and kindness towards parents. Some texts deal with the mother and
Iather separately, but taken all together, the texts enjoin a healthy balance in children`s attention to their
parents, so that respect to one parent will not be at the expense oI the other. Some texts Iurther conIirm
that the mother should be given precedence over the Iather.
So, as we have seen, when a man came to give bavah and pledge to take part in fihd, the Prophet
(7) asked him, 'Are either oI your parents alive? This indicates that the Muslim is obliged to treat both
parents equally well. Similarly, Asm was ordered to keep in contact with her mushrik mother.
/ mcn ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc c:kec him, C Me::enger cf /||h {,), whc cmcng pecp|e i: mc:I
ce:erving cf my gccc ccmpcny?" He :cic, Ycur mcIher." Ihe mcn c:kec, Ihen whc?" Ihe FrcpheI
{7) :cic, Ycur mcIher." Ihe mcn c:kec, Ihen whc?" Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic, Ycur mcIher." Ihe mcn
c:kec, Ihen whc?" Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, Ihen ycur fcIher."
194
This padth conIirms that the Prophet (7) gave precedence to kind treatment oI one`s mother over kind
treatment oI one`s Iather, and the 6abah used to remind the Muslims oI this aIter the death oI the Prophet
(7). Ibn Abbs, a great scholar and faqh oI this ummah, considered kind treatment oI one`s mother to be
the best deed to bring one closer to Allh (,). A man came to him and said, 'I asked Ior a woman`s hand in
marriage, and she reIuse me. Someone else asked Ior her hand and she accepted and married him. I Ielt
jealous, so I killed her. Will my repentance be accepted? Ibn Abbs asked, 'Is your mother still alive? He
said, 'No. So he told him, 'Repent to Allh (,) and do your best to draw close to Him.
'/I iLn Yc::r, whc ncrrcIec Ihi: repcrI frcm lLn '/LL:, :cic: l wenI cnc c:kec lLn '/LL:, 'Why cic ycu
c:k him if hi: mcIher wc: :Ii|| c|ive? He :cic, '8eccu:e l kncw cf nc cIher ceec IhcI Lring: pecp|e c|c:er
Ic /||h {,) Ihcn kinc IrecImenI cnc re:pecI Icwcrc: cne: mcIher."
195
Imm Bukhr opens his book Al-Adab al-Mufrad with a chapter on respect and kindness towards
parents (birr ul-wlidavn), in which he places the section on good treatment oI the mother beIore that on
good treatment oI the Iather, consistent with the teachings oI the Prophet (7).
193
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/15, Kitb al-birr wal-ilah, bb tarm al-uqq.
194
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/4, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb birr al-wlidavn.
195
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/45, bb birr ul-umm.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
61
The Qur`n evokes Ieelings oI love and respect in the heart oI the child, and encourages him or her to
treat parents well. It reIers to the mother being given precedence because oI pregnancy and breast-
Ieeding, and the pains and trials that she suIIers during these two stages, in a most gentle and
compassionate way. It recognizes her noble sacriIice and great tenderness and care:
/nc We hcve enjcinec cn mcn |Ic Le gccc] Ic hi: pcrenI:: in Ircvci| upcn Ircvci| cic hi: mcIher
Lecr him, cnc in yecr: Iwcin wc: hi: wecning: |hecr Ihe ccmmcnc]: 'Shcw grcIiIuce Ic Me cnc Ic
ycur pcrenI:: Ic Me i: |ycur finc|] Gcc|. (Qur`n 31: 14)
What supreme teaching! What humane, compassionate direction: 'Show gratitude to Me and to your
parents. Showing gratitude to parents Ior what they have done Ior their child comes second only to
showing gratitude to Allh (,), and is one oI the best righteous deeds. What a high status this religion
gives to parents!
lLn 'Umcr :cw c Yemen mcn circumcmLu|cIing Ihe Kc'Lch, ccrrying hi: mcIher. Ihe mcn :cic Ic him, l
cm |ike c Icme ccme| fcr her: l hcve ccrriec her mcre Ihcn :he ccrriec me. Dc ycu Ihink l hcve pcic her
Lcck, C lLn 'Umcr?" He rep|iec, Nc, ncI even cne ccnIrccIicnl"
196
Every Iime 'Umcr iLn c|-KhcL {W) :cw Ihe reinfcrcemenI: frcm Yemen, he c:kec Ihem, l: Uwcy: iLn
'bmir cmcng ycu?" - unIi| he fcunc Uwcy:. He c:kec him, /re ycu Uwcy: iLn ' bmir?" Uwcy: :cic, Ye:."
'Umcr c:kec, /re ycu frcm Ihe c|cn cf Murc in Ihe IriLe cf Ccrcn?" Uwcy: :cic, Ye:." 'Umcr c:kec,
Dic ycu hcve |eprc:y, Ihen ycu were curec cf iI excepI fcr cn crec Ihe :ize cf c c|ncn? Uwcy: :cic,
Ye:." 'Umcr c:kec, Dc ycu hcve c mcIher?" Uwcy: :cic, Ye:." 'Umcr :cic: l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf
/||h {7) :cy: 'Ihere wi|| ccme Ic ycu wiIh Ihe reinfcrcemenI: frcm Yemen c mcn cc||ec Uwcy: iLn ' bmir
cf Ihe c|cn cf Murc frcm Ihe IriLe cf Ccrcn. He hcc |eprc:y LuI hc: Leen curec cf iI excepI fcr c :pcI
Ihe :ize cf c c|ncn. He hc: c mcIher, cnc he hc: c|wcy: IrecIec her wiIh kincne:: cnc re:pecI. lf he
prcy: Ic /||h {,), /||h {,) wi|| fu|fi| hi: wi:h. lf ycu ccn c:k him Ic prcy fcr fcrgivene:: fcr ycu, Ihen cc :c.
Sc c:k /||h {,) Ic fcrgive me." Uwcy: c:kec /|| h {,) Ic fcrgive him, Ihen 'Umcr c:kec him, Where cre
ycu gcing?" Uwcy: :cic, Ic Kfch." 'Umcr :cic, Shc|| l wriIe c |eIIer cf reccmmenccIicn fcr ycu Ic Ihe
gcverncr Ihere?" Uwcy: :cic, l prefer Ic Le cncnymcu: cmcng Ihe pecp|e."
197
What a high status Uways reached by virtue oI his kindness and respect towards his mother, so that the
Prophet (7) recommended his 6abah to seek him out and ask him to pray Ior them!
All oI this indicates the high status to which Islm has raised the position oI motherhood, and given the
mother precedence over the Iather. At the same time, Islm has given importance to both parents, and has
enjoined kindness and respect to both.
A woman may enjoy a liIe oI ease and luxury in her husband`s home, and may be kept so busy with
her husband and growing children that she has little time to spare Ior her parents, and neglects to check on
them and treat them well.
But the true Muslim woman is saIe Irom such errors, as she reads the recommendations oI the Qur`n
and Sunnah concerning parents. So she pays attention to them, constantly checking on them and hastening
to treat them well, as much as her energy, time and circumstances permit, and as much as she can.
She Treuts Purents Kindly
The Muslim woman who has embraced the values oI Islm is kind and respectIul towards her parents,
treating them well and choosing the best ways to speak to them and deal with them. She speaks to them
with all politeness and respect, and surrounds them with all honour and care, lowering to them the wing
oI humility, as commanded by Allh (,) in the Qur`n. She never utters a word oI contempt or complaint
to them, no matter what the circumstances, always heeding the words oI Allh (,):
Ycur Fccc hc: cecreec IhcI ycu wcr:hip ncne LuI Him, cnc IhcI ycu Le kinc Ic pcrenI:. WheIher
cne cr LcIh cf Ihem cIIcin c|c cge in ycur |ife, :cy ncI Ic Ihem c wcrc cf ccnIempI, ncr repe| Ihem,
LuI cccre:: Ihem in Ierm: cf hcncur. /nc, cuI cf kincne::, |cwer Ic Ihem Ihe wing cf humi|iIy, cnc
196
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/62, bb fa:a al-wlidavn.
197
See 6a Muslim, 16/95, Kitb fadail al-abah, bb min fadal Uwavs al-Qarani.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
62
:cy: 'My Fccc l 8e:Icw cn Ihem Ycur mercy even c: Ihey cheri:hec me in chi|chccc. (Qur`n 17:
23-24)
II one or both parents are deviating Irom true Islm in some way, the dutiIul Muslim daughter should,
in this case, approach them in a gentle and sensitive manner, so as to dissuade them Irom their error. She
should not condemn them harshly, but should try to convince them with solid prooI, sound logic, wise
words and patience, until they turn to the truth in which she believes.
The Muslim woman is required to treat her parents well, even iI they are mushrikn. She does not
Iorget that she is obliged to treat them well in spite oI their shirk. Although she knows that shirk is the
worst oI major sins, this does not prevent her Irom treating her parents well according to the uniquely
tolerant sharah oI Islm:
/nc We hcve enjcinec cn mcn |Ic Le gccc] Ic hi: pcrenI:: in Ircvci| upcn Ircvci| cic hi: mcIher
Lecr him, cnc in yecr: Iwcin wc: hi: wecning: |hecr Ihe ccmmcnc], 'Shcw grcIiIuce Ic Me cnc Ic
ycur pcrenI:: Ic Me i: |ycur finc|] Gcc|. 8uI if Ihey :Irive Ic mcke ycu jcin in wcr:hip wiIh Me Ihing: cf
which ycu hcve nc kncw|ecge, cLey Ihem ncI: yeI Lecr Ihem ccmpcny in Ihi: |ife wiIh ju:Iice |cnc
ccn:icercIicn], cnc fc||cw Ihe wcy cf Ihc:e whc Iurn Ic Me |in |cve]: in Ihe Enc Ihe reIurn cf ycu c||
i: Ic Me, cnc l wi|| Ie|| ycu Ihe IruIh |cnc mecning] cf c|| IhcI ycu cic. (Qur`n 31: 14-15)
Kindness and respect towards parents is an important matter in Islm, because it springs Irom the
strongest oI human ties, the bond oI a child to his or her mother and Iather. But this bond, great as it is,
must come second to the bonds oI Iaith. II the parents are mushrikn, and order their son or daughter to
join them in their shirk, then the child must not obey them. There is no obedience to a created being in
disobeying the Creator; no other bond may supersede that oI Iaith and belieI in Allh (,). However,
children are still obliged to honour and take care oI their parents.
The Muslim woman is kind and respectIul towards her parents in all circumstances, and she spares no
eIIort to make them happy, as much as she can and within the limits oI Islm. So she checks on them
Irom time to time, oIIers her services, visits them oIten and greets them with a cheerIul smile, a loving
heart, delightIul giIts and words oI kindness.
This is how she cares Ior them during their lives. AIter their death, she shows her love and respect by
praying Ior them, giving charity on their behalI, and paying oII whatever debts they may owe to Allh
(,) or to other people.
Treating parents with kindness and respect is one oI the essential attitudes oI Muslim men and women.
This noble attitude should be ongoing and should continue, no matter how complicated liIe becomes, no
matter how high the cost oI living rises, and no matter how many burdens or responsibilities a person has.
This attitude is an indication oI the rich emotions that still exist in Muslim lands, Al-amdu-lillh, and
it is prooI oI the gratitude which Muslim men and women Ieel towards the older generation which has
made so many sacriIices Ior them when they themselves were most in need oI kind words, consolation
and a helping hand.
This attitude will protect a person, man or woman, Irom hard-heartedness and ingratitude. What is
more, it will open to them the gates oI Paradise.
CHAPTER 4
The Muslim Woman and Her Husband
Murriuge in Islm
In Islm, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes
'permitted to the other, and they begin the long journey oI liIe in a spirit oI love, co-operation, harmony
and tolerance, where each Ieels at ease with the other, and Iinds tranquillity, contentment and comIort in
the company oI the other. The Qur`n has described this relationship between men and women, which
brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
63
/nc cmcng Hi: Sign: i: Ihi:, IhcI He crecIec fcr ycu mcIe: frcm cmcng ycur:e|ve:, IhcI ycu mcy
cwe|| in Ircnui||iIy wiIh Ihem, cnc He hc: puI |cve cnc mercy LeIween ycur |hecrI:]. (Qur`n 30:
21)
This is the strongest oI bonds, in which Allh (,) unites the two Muslim partners, who come
together on the basis oI love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a
Muslim Iamily in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character
and behaviour taught by Islm. The Muslim Iamily is the strongest component oI a Muslim
society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another
to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works.
The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and Ioundation oI the Muslim Iamily. She is seen as the
greatest joy in a man`s liIe, as the Prophet (7) said:
Ihi: wcr|c i: ju:I Iempcrcry ccnvenience:, cnc Ihe Le:I ccmfcrI in Ihi: wcr|c i: c righIecu: wcmcn."
Jq8
A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allh (,) can give to a man, Ior with her he can Iind
comIort and rest aIter the exhausting struggle oI earning a living. With his wiIe, he can Iind incomparable
tranquillity and pleasure.
How can a woman be the best comIort in this world? How can she be a successIul woman, true to her
own Iemininity, and honoured and loved? This is what will be explained in the Iollowing pages:
She Chooses u Good Husbund
One oI the ways in which Islm has honoured woman is by giving her the right to choose her
husband. Her parents have no right to Iorce her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman
knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance oI her parents when a potential
suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience oI
liIe and people. At the same time, she does not Iorego this right because oI her Iather`s wishes that
may make him Iorce his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.
There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, Ior example the report quoted by
Imm Bukhr Irom al-Khans bint Khidam:
My fcIher mcrriec me Ic hi: nephew, cnc l cic ncI |ike Ihi: mcIch, :c l ccmp|cinec Ic Ihe Me::enger cf
/||h {7). He :cic Ic me: '/ccepI whcI ycur fcIher hc: crrcngec. l :cic, 'l cc ncI wi:h Ic cccepI whcI
my fcIher hc: crrcngec. He :cic, 'Ihen Ihi: mcrricge i: invc|ic, gc cnc mcrry whcmever ycu wi:h. l :cic,
'l hcve cccepIec whcI my fcIher hc: crrcngec, LuI l wcnIec wcmen Ic kncw IhcI fcIher: hcve nc righI
in Iheir ccughIer: mcIIer: {i.e. Ihey hcve nc righI Ic fcrce c mcrricge cn Ihem)."
199
At Iirst, the Prophet (7) told Al-Khans to obey her Iather, and this is as it should be, because the
concern oI Iathers Ior their daughters` well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her Iather
wanted to Iorce her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the Ireedom to choose, and saved her
Irom the oppression oI a Iather who wanted to Iorce her into an unwanted marriage.
Islm does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by Iorcing them to marry a man they
dislike, because it wants marriages to be successIul, based on compatibility between the partners; there
should be common ground between them in terms oI physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and
aspirations. II something goes wrong, and the woman Ieels that she cannot love her husband sincerely,
and Iears that she may commit the sin oI disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love,
then she may ask Ior a divorce. This is conIirmed by the report in which the wiIe oI Thbit ibn Qays ibn
Shamms, Jamlah the sister oI Abdullh ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (7) and said:
C Me::enger cf /||h, l hcve ncIhing cgcin:I IhLiI iLn Ccy: c: regcrc: hi: re|igicn cr hi: Lehcvicur, LuI l hcIe
Ic ccmmiI cny ccI cf ku| when l cm c Mu:|im. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: Wi|| ycu give hi: gcrcen Lcck Ic him?"
198
6a Muslim 10/56, Kitb al-rida, bb istihbb nikah al-bikr.
199
See Fat al-Br, 9/194, Kitb al-nikah, bb ikrah al-bint ala al-:awaf; Ibn Mjah, 1/602, Kitb al-nikah, bb man :awwafa ibnatahu wa
hiva karihah; Al-Mabst 5/2.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
64
- her ncn hcc Leen c gcrcen. She :cic, Ye:." Sc Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h :enI wcrc Ic him: Icke Lcck ycur
gcrcen, cnc give her cne prcncuncemenI cf civcrce."
200
According to a report given by Bukhr Irom Ibn Abbs, she said, l cc ncI L|cme IhLiI
fcr cnyIhing wiIh regcrc Ic hi: re|igicn cr hi: Lehcvicur, LuI l cc ncI |ike him."
Islm has protected woman`s pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice
oI a husband with whom she will spend the rest oI her liIe. It is not acceptable Ior anyone, no matter who he
is, to Iorce a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like.
There is no clearer indication oI this than the story oI Barirah, an Ethiopian slave-girl who belonged to
Utbah ibn Ab Lahab, who Iorced her to marry another slave whose name was Mughth. She would
never have accepted him as a husband iI she had been in control oI her own aIIairs. bishah (May Allh
be pleased with her) took pity on her, so she bought her and set her Iree. Then this young woman Ielt that
she was Iree and in control oI her own aIIairs, and that she could take a decision about her marriage. She
asked her husband Ior a divorce. Her husband used to Iollow her, weeping, whilst she rejected him.
Bukhr quotes Ibn Abbs describing this Ireed woman who insisted on the annulment oI her
marriage to someone she did not love; the kind-hearted Prophet (7) commented on this moving
sight, and sought to intervene.
Ibn Abbs said:
8crirch: hu:Lcnc wc: c :|cve, whc wc: kncwn c: MughIh. l ccn c|mc:I :ee him, running cfIer her cnc
crying, wiIh Iecr: running ccwn cnIc hi: Lecrc. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic Ic '/LL:, 'C '/LL:, cc ycu ncI
finc iI :Ircnge, hcw much MugIh |cve: 8crirch, cnc hcw much 8crirch hcIe: MughIh? Ihe FrcpheI {7)
:cic {Ic 8crirch), 'Why cc ycu ncI gc Lcck Ic him? She :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /|| h, cre ycu
ccmmcncing me Ic cc :c? He :cic, 'l cm mere|y Irying Ic inIervene cn hi: Lehc|f. She :cic, 'l hcve nc
neec cf him."
201
The Prophet (7) was deeply moved by this display oI human emotion: deep and overwhelming love
on the part oI the husband, and equally powerIul hatred on the part oI the wiIe. He could not help but
remind the wiIe, and ask her why she did not go back to him, as he was her husband and the Iather oI her
child. This believing woman asked him, whether he was ordering her to do so: was this a command, a
binding obligation? The Prophet (7), this great law-giver and educator, replied that he was merely
trying to intercede and bring about reconciliation iI possible; he was not trying to Iorce anybody to do
something they did not wish to.
Let those stubborn, hard-hearted Iathers who oppress their own daughters listen to the teaching oI
the Prophet (7)!
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI her religion has wise and correct standards
when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herselI just with good looks, high status, a
luxurious liIestyle or any oI the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his level oI
religious commitment and his attitude and behaviour, because these are the pillars oI a successIul
marriage, and the best Ieatures oI a husband. Islmic teaching indicates the importance oI these qualities
in a potential husband, as Islm obliges a woman to accept the proposal oI anyone who has these
qualities, lest fitnah and corruption become widespread in society:
lf Ihere ccme: Ic ycu cne wiIh whc:e re|igicn cnc cIIiIuce ycu cre :cIi:fiec, Ihen give ycur ccughIer Ic
him in mcrricge, fcr if ycu cc ncI cc :c, ||tncn cnc mi:chief wi|| Leccme wice:precc cn ecrIh."
202
Just as the true Muslim young man will not be attracted to the pretty girls who have grown up in a bad
environment, so the Muslim young woman who is guided by her religion will not be attracted to stupid
'play-boy types, no matter how handsome they may be. Rather she will be attracted to the serious,
educated, believing man who is clean-living and pure oI heart, whose behaviour is good and whose
understanding oI religion is sound. No-one is a suitable partner Ior the good, believing woman except a
good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner Ior the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward,
immoral man, as Allh (,) has said:
200
Fat al-Br, 9/395, Kitb al-talq, bb al-khul.
201
Fat al-Br, 9/408, Kitb al-talq, bb shafaat al-Nabi (7) fi :awf Barirah.
202
A asan adth narrated by Tirmidh, 2/274, Abwb al-nik, 3; And by Ibn Mjah, 1/633, Kitb al-nik, bb al-akf.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
65
Women |mpure ore |or men |mpure, ond men |mpure |or women |mpure, ond women o| pur|ty ore
|or men o| pur|ty, ond men o| pur|ty ore |or women o| pur|ty. (Qur`n 24: 26)
This does not mean that the Muslim woman should completely ignore the matter oI physical
appearance, and put up with unattractiveness or ugliness. It is her right - as stated above - to marry a man
Ior whom her heart may be Iilled with love, and who is pleasing to her both in his appearance and in his
conduct. Appearance should not be neglected at the expense oI inner nature, or vice versa. A woman
should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one who will gain her admiration and respect.
The true Muslim woman is never dazzled by outward appearances, and she never lets them distract her
Irom seeing the essence oI a potential spouse.
The Muslim woman knows that the man has the right oI qiwmah over her, as the Qur`n says:
Men cre Ihe prcIecIcr: cnc mcinIciner: |qcwwnn] cf wcmen, Leccu:e /||h hc: given Ihe cne
mcre |:IrengIh] Ihcn Ihe cIher, cnc Leccu:e Ihey :uppcrI Ihem frcm Iheir mecn:. (Qur`n 4: 34)
Hence she wants to marry a man oI whose qiwmah over her she will Ieel proud, one whom she will
be happy to marry and never regret it. She wants a man who will take her hand in his and set out to IulIil
their liIe`s mission oI establishing a Muslim Iamily and raising a new generation oI intelligent and caring
children, in an atmosphere oI love and harmony, which will not be impeded by conIlicting attitudes or
religious diIIerences. Believing men and believing women are supposed to walk side-by-side on the
journey oI liIe, which is a serious matter Ior the believer, so that they may IulIil the great mission with
which Allh (,) has entrusted mankind, men and women alike, as the Qur`n says:
Fcr Mu:|im men cnc wcmen - fcr Le|ieving men cnc wcmen, fcr cevcuI men cnc wcmen, fcr Irue
men cnc wcmen, fcr men cnc wcmen whc cre ccn:IcnI cnc pcIienI, fcr men cnc wcmen whc
humL|e Ihem:e|ve:, fcr men cnc wcmen whc give in chcriIy, fcr men cnc wcmen whc fc:I |cnc
ceny Ihem:e|ve:], fcr men cnc wcmen whc gucrc Iheir chc:IiIy, cnc fcr men cnc wcmen whc
engcge much in /||h: prci:e - fcr Ihem hc: /||h prepcrec fcrgivene:: cnc grecI rewcrc. (Qur`n
33: 35)
In order to achieve this great goal oI strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable Iamily
liIe, it is essential to choose the right partner in the Iirst place.
Among the great Muslim women who are known Ior their strength oI character, loIty aspirations and
Iar-sightedness in their choice oI a husband is Umm Sulaym bint Miln, who was one oI the Iirst Anr
women to embrace Islm. She was married to Mlik ibn Naar, and bore him a son, Anas. When she
embraced Islm, her husband Mlik was angry with her, and leIt her, but she persisted in her Islm.
Shortly aIterwards, she heard the news oI his death, and she was still in the Ilower oI her youth. She bore
it all with the hope oI reward, Ior the sake oI Allh (,), and devoted herselI to taking care oI her ten-
year-old son Anas. She took him to the Prophet (7), so that he could serve him (and learn Irom him).
One oI the best young men oI Madnah, one oI the best-looking, richest and strongest, came to seek
her hand in marriage. This was Ab alah - beIore he became Muslim. Many oI the young women oI
Yathrib (Madnah) liked him because oI his wealth, strength and youthIul good looks, and he thought that
Umm Sulaym would joyIully rush to accept his oIIer. But to his astonishment, she told him, 'O Ab
alah, do you not know that your god whom you worship is just a tree that grew in the ground and was
carved into shape by the slave oI Ban so-and-so. He said, 'OI course. She said, 'Do you not Ieel
ashamed to prostrate yourselI to a piece oI wood that grew in the ground and was carved by the slave oI
Ban so-and-so? Ab alah was stubborn, and hinted to her oI an expensive dowry and luxurious
liIestyle, but she persisted in her point oI view, and told him Irankly: 'O Ab alah, a man like you
could not be turned away, but you are a disbelieving man, and I am a Muslim woman. It is not permitted
Ior me to marry you, but iI you were to embrace Islm, that would be my dowry (mahr), and I would ask
you Ior nothing more.
203
He returned the Iollowing day to try to tempt her with a larger dowry and more generous giIt, but she
stood Iirm, and her persistance and maturity only enhanced her beauty in his eyes. She said to him, 'O Ab
alah, do you not know that your god whom you worship was carved by the carpenter slave oI so-and-so?
203
Reported by An-Nis` with a a isnd, 6/114, Kitb al-nik, bb al-ta:wif alal-Islm.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
66
II you were to set it alight, it would burn. Her words came as a shock to Ab alah, and he asked himselI,
Does the Lord burn? Then he uttered the words: 'Ashhadu an l ilaha ill-Allh wa ashhadu anna
Muhammadan rasul-Allh.
Then Umm Sulaym said to her son Anas, with joy Ilooding her entire being, 'O Anas, marry me to
Ab alah. So Anas brought witnesses and the marriage was solemnized.
Ab alah was so happy that he was determined to put all his wealth at Umm Sulaym`s disposal, but
hers was the attitude oI the selIless, proud, sincere believing woman. She told him, 'O Ab alah, I
married you Ior the sake oI Allh (,), and I will not take any other dowry. She knew that when Ab
alah embraced Islm, she did not only win herselI a worthy husband, but she also earned a reward Irom
Allh (,) that was better than owning red camels (the most highly-prized kind) in this world, as she had
heard the Prophet (7) say:
lf /||h {,) were Ic guice cne per:cn Ic l:| m Ihrcugh ycu, iI i: LeIIer fcr ycu Ihcn cwning rec ccme|:."
204
Such great Muslim women are examples worthy oI emulation, Irom whom Muslim women may learn
purity oI Iaith, strength oI character, soundness oI belieI and wisdom in choosing a husband.
She is Obedient to her Husbund und Shows him Respect
The true Muslim woman is always obedient to her husband, provided that no sin is involved. She is
respectIul towards him and is always eager to please him and make him happy. II he is poor, she does not
complain about his being unable to spend much. She does not complain about her housework, because
she remembers that many oI the virtuous women in Islmic history set an example oI patience, goodness
and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care oI their homes despite the poverty and
hardships they Iaced. One oI the Ioremost oI these exemplary wives is Eimah al-Zahr, the daughter oI
Muhammad (7) and the wiIe oI Ali ibn Ab lib (W). She used to complain oI the pain in her hands
caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband Ali ibn Ab lib said to her one day, 'Your
Iather has brought some Iemale slaves, so go and ask him Ior one oI them to come and serve you. She
went to her Iather, but she Ielt too shy to ask him Ior what she wanted. Ali went and asked him to
provide a servant Ior his beloved daughter, but the Prophet (7) could not respond to those who were
most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs oI the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter
and her husband and said: 'Shall I not teach you something that is better than that Ior which you asked
me? When you go to bed at night, say Subhn Allh` thirty-three times, Al-hamdu lillh` thirty-three
times, and Allhu akbar` thirty-Iour times. This is better Ior you than a servant.
Then he bid them Iarewell and leIt, aIter instilling in them this divine help which would make them
Iorget their tiredness and help them to overcome their exhaustion.
'/|i {W) Legcn Ic repecI Ihe wcrc: IhcI Ihe FrcpheI {7) hcc IcughI him. He :cic, l never :Icppec
ccing IhcI cfIer he hcc IcughI me Ihe:e wcrc:." Cne cf hi: ccmpcnicn: c:kec him, NcI even cn Ihe
nighI cf 6iffn?" He :cic, NcI even cn Ihe nighI cf 6iffn."
205
Asm bint Ab Bakr al-6iddq served her husband Al-Zubayr, and took care oI the house. Her husband
had a horse, which she took care oI, Ieeding it and exercising it. She also repaired the water-bucket, made
bread, and carried dates on her head Irom Iar away. Bukhr and Muslim report this in her own words:
/|-ZuLcyr mcrriec me, cnc he hcc nc wec|Ih, nc :|cve:, ncIhing excepI hi: hcr:e. l u:ec Ic feec hi: hcr:e,
|ccking cfIer iI cnc exerci:ing iI. l cru:hec ccIe-:Icne: Ic feec hi: ccme|. l u:ec Ic Lring wcIer cnc repcir
Ihe LuckeI, cnc l u:ec Ic mcke Lrecc LuI l ccu|c ncI Lcke iI, :c :cme cf my An| neighLcur:, whc were
kinc wcmen, u:ec Ic Lcke iI fcr me. l u:ec Ic ccrry Ihe ccIe: frcm Ihe gcrcen IhcI Ihe FrcpheI { 7) hcc
given Ic /|-ZuLcyr cn my hecc, cnc Ihi: gcrcen wc: Iwc-Ihirc: cf c |c:ckn {mcre Ihcn c ki|cmeIre) cwcy.
Cne ccy l wc: ccming Lcck wiIh Ihe ccIe: cn my hecc. l meI Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h, whc hcc c grcup cf
204
Fat al-Br, 7/476, Kitb al-magha:i, bb gha:wat Khavbar.
205
See Fat al-Br, 7/71, Kitb fadail al-6abah, bb manaqib Ali ibn Ab lib; 6a Muslim, 17/45, Kitb al-dhikr wal-dua, bb al-
tasb awwal al-nahar wa ind al-nawm.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
67
hi: Ccmpcnicn: wiIh him. He cc||ec me, Ihen Ic|c hi: ccme| Ic :iI ccwn :c IhcI l ccu|c rice Lehinc him. l
Ic|c {/|-ZuLcyr), 'l fe|I :hy, Leccu:e l kncw IhcI ycu cre c jec|cu: mcn. He :cic, 'lI i: wcr:e fcr me Ic :ee
ycu ccrrying Ihe ccIe: cn ycur hecc Ihcn Ic :ee ycu ricing Lehinc him. LcIer, /L 8ckr :enI me c :ervcnI,
whc re|ievec me cf hcving Ic Icke ccre cf Ihe hcr:e: iI wc: c: if l hcc Leen re|ec:ec frcm :|cvery."
206
The true Muslim woman devotes herselI to taking care oI her house and husband. She knows her
husband`s rights over her, and how great they are, as was conIirmed by the Prophet`s words:
Nc humcn Leing i: permiIIec Ic prc:IrcIe Ic cncIher, LuI if Ihi: were permiIIec l wcu|c hcve crcerec
wive: Ic prc:IrcIe Ic Iheir hu:Lcnc:, Leccu:e cf Ihe grecIne:: cf Ihe righI: Ihey hcve cver Ihem."
207
And:
lf l were Ic crcer cnycne Ic prc:IrcIe Ic cnycne e|:e, l wcu|c hcve crcerec wcmen Ic prc:IrcIeIc Iheir
hu:Lcnc:."
208
'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) c:kec Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7): Whc hc: Ihe grecIe:I righI:
cver c wcmcn?" He :cic, Her hu:Lcnc." She c:kec, '/nc whc hc: Ihe grecIe:I righI: cver c mcn?" He
:cic, Hi: mcIher."
209
/ wcmcn ccme Ic c:k Ihe FrcpheI {7) cLcuI :cme mcIIer, cnc when he hcc cec|I wiIh iI, he c:kec
her, Dc ycu hcve c hu:Lcnc?" She :cic, Ye:." He c:kec her, Hcw cre ycu wiIh him?" She :cic, l never
fc|| :hcrI in my cuIie:, excepI fcr IhcI which i: Leycnc me." He:cic, Fcy cIIenIicn Ic hcw ycu IrecI him,
fcr he i: ycur Fcrcci:e cnc ycur He||."
210
How can the Muslim woman complain about taking care oI her house and husband when she hears
these words oI Prophetic guidance? She should IulIil her household duties and take care oI her husband in
a spirit oI joy, because she is not carrying a tiresome burden, she is doing work in her home that she
knows will bring reward Irom Allh (,).
The 6abah, may Allh (,) be pleased with them, and those who Iollowed them understood this
Islmic teaching and transmitted it Irom the Prophet (7). When a bride was prepared Ior marriage, she
would be told to serve her husband and take care oI his rights. Thus the Muslim woman knew her duties
towards her husband, and down through the ages caring Ior her husband and being a good wiIe were
established womanly attributes. One example oI this is what was said by the faqh Al-panbal ibn al-
Jawz in his book Akm al-Nis (p. 331): In the second century AH there was a righteous man called
Shuayb ibn parb, who used to Iast and spend his nights in prayer. He wanted to marry a woman, and
told her humbly, 'I am a bad-tempered man. She replied, tactIully and cleverly, 'The one who
makes you lose your temper is worse than you. He realized that there stood beIore him a woman
who was intelligent, wise and mature. He immediately said to her, 'You will be my wiIe.
This woman had a clear understanding oI how to be a good wiIe, which conIirmed to the man
who had come to seek her hand that she was a woman who would understand the psychology and
nature oI her husband and would know what would please him and what would make him angry;
she would be able to win his heart and earn his admiration and respect, and would close the door to
every possible source oI conIlict that could disrupt their married liIe. The woman who does not
understand these realities does not deserve to be a successIul wiIe; through her ignorance and
shortcomings she may provoke her husband to lose his temper, in which case, she would be worse
than him, Ior being the direct cause oI his anger.
The tactIul Muslim woman is never like this. She helps her husband to be oI good character, by
displaying diIIerent types oI intelligence, cleverness and alertness in the way she deals with him. This
opens his heart to her and makes him Iond oI her, because being a good wiIe is not only a quality that she
may boast about among her Iriends, but it is also a religious obligation Ior which Allh (,) will call her
206
See Fat al-Br, 9/319, Kitb al-nik, bb al-ghirah.
207
Reported by Amad and Al-Bazzr; the men oI its isnd are Rifal al-a. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 9/4, Bb aqq al-:awf alal-mrah.
208
A asan a adth, narrated by Tirmidh, 2/314, in Abwb a-rida, 10.
209
Reported by Al-Bazzr with a asan isnd. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 4/308, Bb aqq al-:awf alal-mrah.
210
Reported by Amad and An-Nis` with Javvid isnds, and by Al-pakm, who said that its isnd was a. See Al-Mundhir, Al-Targhib
wal-Tarhib, 3/52, Kitb al-nik.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
68
to account: iI she has done well, she will be rewarded, but iI she has Iallen short she will have to pay the
penalty.
One oI the most important ways in which the Muslim woman obeys her husband is by respecting his
wishes with regard to the permissible pleasures oI daily liIe, such as social visits, Iood, dress, speech, etc.
The more she responds to his wishes in such matters, the happier and more enjoyable the couple`s liIe
becomes, and the closer it is to the spirit and teachings oI Islm.
The Muslim woman does not Iorget that her obedience to her husband is one oI the things that may
lead her to Paradise, as the Prophet (7) said:
lf c wcmcn prcy: her five cci|y prcyer:, fc:I: her mcnIh {cf Fcmcn), cLey: her hu:Lcnc cnc gucrc:
her chc:IiIy, Ihen iI wi|| Le :cic Ic her: 'EnIer Fcrcci:e Ly whichever cf iI: gcIe: ycu wi:h."
211
Umm Salamah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: '/ny wcmcn whc cie:, cnc her hu:Lcnc i: p|ec:ec wiIh her, wi|| enIer
Fcrcci:e."
212
The Prophet (7) drew a clear and delightIul picture oI the well-behaved, easy-going, loving,
righteous Muslim wiIe, one who will be happy in this world and the next:
Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu cLcuI ycur wive: in Fcrcci:e?" We :cic, Cf ccur:e, C Me::enger cf /|| h." He :cic,
Ihey cre ferIi|e cnc |cving. lf :he Leccme: cngry cr i: mi:IrecIec, cr her hu:Lcnc Leccme: cngry, :he
:cy:, 'My hcnc i: in ycur hcnc: l :hc|| never :|eep unIi| ycu cre p|ec:ec wiIh me."
213
The true Muslim woman knows that Islm, which has multiplied her reward Ior obeying her husband
and made it a means oI her admittance to Paradise, has also warned every woman who deviates Irom the
path oI marital obedience and neglects to take care oI her husband, that she will be guilty oI sin, and will
incur the wrath and curses oI the angels.
Bukhr and Muslim report Irom Ab Hurayrah that the Prophet (7) said:
lf c mcn cc||: hi: wife Ic hi: Lec cnc :he cce: ncI ccme, cnc he gce: Ic :|eep cngry wiIh her, Ihe
cnge|: wi|| cur:e her unIi| Ihe mcrning."
214
Muslim reports Irom Ab Hurayrah that the Prophet (7) said:
8y Ihe Cne in Whc:e hcnc i: my :cu|, Ihere i: nc mcn whc cc||: hi: wife Ic hi: Lec, cnc :he refu:e: him,
LuI Ihe Cne Whc i: in hecven wi|| Le cngry wiIh her, unIi| Ihe hu:Lcnc i: p|ec:ec wiIh her cnce mcre."
215
The angels` curse will beIall every woman who is rebellious and disobedient; this does not exclude
those who are too slow and reluctant to respond to their husbands:
/||h {,) wi|| cur:e Ihc:e prccrc:IincIing wcmen whc, when Iheir hu:Lcnc: cc|| Ihem Ic Iheir Lec:, :cy 'l
wi||, l wi||. unIi| he fc||: c:|eep."
216
Marriage in Islm is intended to protect the chastity oI men and women alike, thereIore it is the woman`s
duty to respond to her husband`s requests Ior conjugal relations. She should not give silly excuses and try to
avoid it. Eor this reason, several adth urge a wiIe to respond to her husband`s needs as much as she is able,
no matter how busy she may be or whatever obstacles there may be, so long as there is no urgent or
unavoidable reason not to do so.
In one oI these adth, the Prophet (7) said:
lf c mcn cc||: hi: wife Ic hi: Lec, |eI her re:pcnc, even if :he i: ricing her ccme| |i.e., very Lu:y]."
217
And:
211
Reported by Amad and A-abaran; its narrators are thiqat. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 4/306, Bb aqq al-:awf alal-mrah.
212
Ibn Mjah, 1/595, Kitb al-nik, bb aqq al-:awf alal-mrah; Al-pakm, 4/173, Kitb al-birr wal-silah; he said its isnd is a.
213
Reported by A-abaran. Its narrators are those, whose reports are accepted as a. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 4/312.
214
Fat al-Br, 9/294, Kitb al-nik, bb idha batat al-mrah muhfirah firash :awfiha; 6a Muslim, 10/8, Kitb al-nik, bb tarm
imtina al-mrah min firash :awfiha.
215
6a Muslim, 10/7, Kitb al-nik, bb tarm imtina al-mrah min firash :awfiha.
216
A a adth narrated by A-abarn in Al-Awsat and Al-Kabr. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 4/296, bb fi man vadu :awfahu fa tatalla.
217
Reported by Al-Bazzr, whose narrators are Rifal al-a. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 4/312.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
69
lf c mcn cc||: hi: wife, Ihen |eI her ccme, even if :he i: Lu:y cI Ihe cven."
218
The issue oI protecting a man`s chastity and keeping him away Irom temptation is more
important than anything else that a woman can do, because Islm wants men and women alike to
live in an environment which is entirely pure and Iree Irom any motive oI fitnah or arm
pleasures. The Ilames oI sexual desire and thoughts oI pursuing them through arm means can
only be extinguished by means oI discharging that natural energy in natural and lawIul ways. This
is what the Prophet (7) meant in the adth narrated by Muslim Irom Jbir:
lf cnycne cf ycu i: cIIrccIec Ic c wcmcn, |eI him gc Ic hi: wife cnc hcve inIerccur:e wiIh her, fcr IhcI
wi|| cc|m him ccwn."
219
The warning given to the woman whose husband is angry with her reaches such an extent that it would
shake the conscience oI every righteous wiIe who has Iaith in Allh (,) and the Last Day: she is told that
her prayer and good deeds will not be accepted, until her husband is pleased with her again. This is stated in
the adth narrated by Jbir Irom Abdullh:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Ihere cre Ihree pecp|e whc:e prcyer: wi|| ncI Le cccepIec, ncr Iheir
gccc wcrk:: c ci:cLecienI :|cve unIi| he reIurn: Ic hi: mc:Ier: cnc puI: hi: hcnc in Iheir:: c wcmcn whc:e
hu:Lcnc i: cngry wiIh her, unIi| he i: p|ec:ec wiIh her cgcin: cnc Ihe crunkcrc, unIi| he Leccme:
:cLer."
220
When these adth reIer to the husband being angry with his wiIe, they reIer to cases in which the
husband is right and the wiIe is wrong. When the opposite is the case, and the husband is wrong, then his
anger has no negative implications Ior her; in Iact, Allh (,) will reward the wiIe Ior her patience. But
the wiIe is still required to obey her husband, so long as no sin is involved, because there should be no
obedience to a created being iI it entails disobedience to the Creator. Concerning this, the Prophet (7)
said:
lI i: ncI permiIIec fcr c wcmcn whc Le|ieve: in /|| h {,) Ic c||cw cnycne inIc her hu:Lcnc: hcu:e
whcm he ci:|ike:: cr Ic gc cuI when he cce: ncI wcnI her Ic: cr Ic cLey cnycne e|:e cgcin:I him: cr Ic
fcr:cke hi: Lec: cr Ic hiI him. lf he i: wrcng, Ihen |eI her ccme Ic him unIi| he i: p|ec:ec wiIh her, cnc if he
cccepI: her Ihen c|| i: we||, /|| h {,) wi|| cccepI her ceec: cnc mcke her pc:iIicn :Ircnger, cnc Ihere wi||
Le nc :in cn her. lf he cce: ncI cccepI her, Ihen cI |ec:I :he wi|| hcve ccne her Le:I cnc excu:ec her:e|f
in Ihe :ighI cf /||h {,)."
221
Another aspect oI wiIely obedience is that she should not Iast at times other than Raman except with
his permission, that she should not allow anyone to enter his house without his permission, and that she
should not spend any oI his earnings without his permission. II she spends anything without him having told
her to do so, then halI oI the reward Ior that spending will be given to him. The true Muslim woman takes
heed oI this teaching which was stated by the Prophet (7) in the adth:
lI i: ncI permiIIec fcr c wcmcn Ic fc:I when her hu:Lcnc i: pre:enI, excepI wiIh hi: permi::icn: cr Ic
c||cw cnycne inIc hi: hcu:e excepI wiIh hi: permi::icn: cr Ic :penc cny cf hi: ecrning: un|e:: he hc: Ic|c
her Ic cc :c, cIherwi:e hc|f cf Ihe rewcrc wi|| Le given Ic him."
222
According to a report given by Muslim, he (7) said:
/ wcmcn :hcu|c ncI fc:I if her hu:Lcnc i: pre:enI, excepI wiIh hi: permi::icn. She :hcu|c ncI c||cw
cnycne Ic enIer hi: hcu:e when he i: pre:enI wiIhcuI hi: permi::icn. WhcIever :he :penc: cf hi: wec|Ih
wiIhcuI him hcving Ic|c her Ic cc :c, hc|f cf Ihe rewcrc fcr iI wi|| Le given Ic him."
223
The point here is the permission oI the husband. II a wiIe gives some oI his money in voluntary charity
without his permission, then she will not receive any reward; on the contrary, it will be recorded as a sin
218
A asan a adth narrated by Tirmidh, 2/314, Abwb al-rida, 10, and by Ibn pibbn, 6a, 9,473, Kitb al-nik.
219
6a Muslim, 9/178, Kitb al-nik, bb nadab man raa imraatan fa waqaat fi nafsihi ila an vati imraatahu.
220
Reported by Ibn pibbn in his a, 12/178, Kitb al-ashribah, 2, fasl fil-ashribah.
221
Reported by Al-pakm, 2/190, Kitb al-nik; he said its isnd is a.
222
Fat al-Br, 9/295, Kitb al-nik, bb la tadhan al-mrah fi bavt :awfiha li aad illa bi idhnihi.
223
6a Muslim, 7/115, Kitb al-:akh, bb afr al-kha:in wal-mrah idha tasaddaqat min bavt :awfaha.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
70
on her part. II she wants to spend in his absence, and she knows that iI he knew about it he would give his
permission, then she is allowed to do so, otherwise it is not permitted.
Mutual understanding and harmony between husband and wiIe cannot be achieved unless there is
understanding between them on such matters, so that neither oI them will Iall into such errors and
troubles as may damage the marriage which Islm has built on a basis oI love and mercy, and sought to
maintain its purity, care and harmony.
II the husband is a miser, and spends too little on her and her children, then she is allowed to spend as
much as she needs Irom his wealth on herselI and her children, in moderation, without his knowledge.
The Prophet (7) stated this to Hind bint Utbah, the wiIe oI Ab SuIyn, when she came to him and
said, C Me::enger cf /||h {7), /L Sufyn i: c :Iingy mcn. WhcI he give: me i: ncI encugh fcr me cnc
my chi|c, un|e:: l Icke frcm him wiIhcuI hi: kncw|ecge." He Ic|c her,Icke whcI i: encugh fcr ycu cnc
ycur chi|c, in mccercIicn."
224
Thus Islm has made women responsible Ior good conduct in their running
oI the household aIIairs.
The Muslim woman understands the responsibility that Islm has given her, to take care oI her
husband`s house and children by making her a 'shepherd over her husband`s house and children. She
has been speciIically reminded oI this responsibility in recognition oI her role, in the adth in which the
Prophet (7) made every individual in the Islmic society responsible Ior those under his or her authority
in such a way that no-one, man or woman, may evade responsibility:
Ecch cf ycu i: c :hepherc, cnc ecch i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr Ihc:e uncer hi: ccre. / ru|er i: c :hepherc: c mcn
i: Ihe :hepherc cf hi: fcmi|y: c wcmcn i: Ihe :hepherc cf her hu:Lcnc: hcu:e cnc chi|cren. Fcr ecch cf
ycu i: c :hepherc cnc ecch cf ycu i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr Ihc:e uncer hi: ccre."
225
The true Muslim woman is always described as being loving towards her children and caring towards her
husband. These are two oI the most beautiIul characteristics that a woman oI any time or place may possess.
The Prophet (7) praised these two characteristics, which were embodied by the women oI Quraysh, who
represented the best women among the Arabs in terms oI loving their children, caring Ior their husbands,
respecting their rights and looking aIter their wealth with care, honesty and wisdom:
Ihe Le:I wcmen whc rice ccme|: cre Ihe wcmen cf Curcy:h. Ihey cre Ihe mc:I ccmpc::icncIe
Icwcrc: Iheir chi|cren when Ihey cre :mc||, cnc Ihe mc:I ccrefu| wiIh regcrc Ic Iheir hu:Lcnc: wec|Ih."
226
This is a valuable testimony on the part oI the Prophet (7), attesting to the psychological and moral
qualities oI the women oI Quraysh which enhanced their beauty and virtue. This testimony represents a
call to every Muslim woman to emulate the women oI Quraysh in loving her children and taking care oI
her husband. These two important characteristics contribute to the success oI a marriage, make
individuals and Iamilies happy, and help a society to advance.
It is a great honour Ior a woman to take care oI her husband every morning and evening, and wherever
he goes, treating him with gentleness and good manners which will Iill his liIe with joy, tranquillity and
stability. Muslim women have the best example in bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), who used to
accompany the Prophet (7) on pajj, surrounding him with her care, putting perIume on him with her
own hands beIore he entered irm, and aIter he Iinished his irm, beIore he perIormed awf al-
ifdah.
227
She chose Ior him the best perIume that she could Iind. This is stated in a number oI a
adth reported by Bukhr and Muslim, Ior example:
l cpp|iec perfume Ic Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) wiIh my cwn hcnc: Lefcre he enIerec Ihe :IcIe cf
|n cnc when he ccnc|ucec iI Lefcre circumcmLu|cIing Ihe Hcu:e."
228
224
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 9/327, Kitb al-iddah, bb nafaqah al-awlad wal-aqrib.
225
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 9/327, Kitb al-imrah wal-qada. bb al-rai masul an raivatihi.
226
See 6a Muslim, 16/81, Kitb fadil al-6abah, bb min fadil nisa Quravsh.
227
awf al-ifdah is one oI the important rites oI Hajj. It is done on the tenth day oI Dhul-Hiffah aIter sacriIicing an animal and shaving
one`s head. |Translator|
228
6a Muslim, 8/99, Kitb al-Haff, bb istihbb al-tib qabl al-irm.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
71
l cpp|iec perfume Ic Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) wiIh Ihe:e Iwc hcnc: cf mine when he enIerec |n
cnc when he ccnc|ucec iI, Lefcre he perfcrmec cw|," - cnc :he :precc her hcnc:.
229
Urwah said:
l c:kec 'bi:hch, 'WiIh whcI cic ycu perfume Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) cI Ihe Iime when he enIerec
|n? She :cic, 'WiIh Ihe Le:I cf perfume."
230
According to another report also given by Muslim, bishah said:
l cpp|iec Ihe Le:I perfume l ccu|c finc Ic Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) Lefcre he enIerec |n cnc
when he ccnc|ucec iI, Lefcre he perfcrmec cw| c'-||ccn."
231
When Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: in :ec|u:icn {|'t|kc|), he wcu|c |ecn hi: hecc Icwcrc: 'bi:hch, cnc :he wcu|c
ccmL cnc wc:h hi: hcir. Bukhari and Muslim both report this in a adth narrated Irom bishah (May
Allh be pleased with her), such as:
When Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) wc: in |'t|kc|, he inc|inec hi: hecc Icwcrc: me cnc l ccmLec hi: hcir,
cnc he cic ncI enIer Ihe hcu:e excepI Ic cn:wer Ihe cc|| cf ncIure."
232
l u:ec Ic wc:h Ihe FrcpheI: hecc when l wc: men:IrucIing."
233
bishah urged women to take good care oI their husbands and to recognize the rights that their
husbands had over them. She saw these rights as being so great and so important that a woman was barely
qualiIied to wipe the dust Irom her husband`s Ieet with her Iace, as she stated: 'O womenIolk, iI you
knew the rights that your husbands have over you, every one oI you would wipe the dust Irom her
husband`s Ieet with her Iace.
234
This is a vivid expression oI the importance oI the husband`s rights over his wiIe. bishah wanted to
bring this to women`s attention, so as to remove Irom the hearts oI arrogant and stubborn women all those
harsh, obstinate Ieelings that all too oIten destroy a marriage and turn it into a living hell.
Honouring and respecting one`s husband is one oI the characteristic attitudes oI this ummah. It is one
oI the good manners known at the time oI fhilivvah that were endorsed by Islm and perpetuated by the
Arabs aIter they embraced Islm. Our Arab heritage is Iilled with texts that eloquently describe the advice
given by mothers to their daughters, to care Ior, honour and respect their husbands; these texts may be
regarded as invaluable social documents.
One oI the most Iamous and most beautiIul oI these texts was recorded by Abdul-Mlik ibn Umayr
al-Qurash, who was one oI the outstanding scholars oI the second century A.H. He quotes the words oI
advice given by Umamah bint al-prith, one oI the most eloquent and learned women, who possessed
wisdom and great maturity, to her daughter on the eve oI her marriage. These beautiIul words deserve to
be inscribed in golden ink.
Abdul-Mlik said: 'When AwI ibn Muallim al-Shayban, one oI the most highly respected leaders
oI the Arab nobility during the fhilivvah, married his daughter Umm Iys to Al-prith ibn Amr al-
Kind, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise
her, and said:
O my daughter, iI it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because oI good manners and
noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary Ior you, because you possess these qualities, but it
will serve as a reminder to those who are IorgetIul, and will help those who are wise.`
O my daughter, iI a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue oI her Iather`s wealth and her
need Ior her Iather, then you oI all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were
created Ior men just as men were created Ior them.`
229
Fat al-Br, 3/585, Kitb al-Haff, bb al-tib.
230
6a Muslim, 8/100, Kitb al-Haff, bb istihbb al-tib qabl al-irm.
231
6a Muslim, 8/100, kitb al-Haff, bb istihbb al-tib qabl al-irm.
232
6a Muslim, 3/208, Kitb al-avd, bb fawa: ghusl al-haid raas :awfiha wa tarfiluhu.
233
Fat al-Br, 1/403, Kitb al-avd, bb mubshirah al-aid; 6a Muslim, 3/209, Kitb al-avd, bb fawa: ghusl al-haid raas
:awfiha.
234
Reported as a by Ibn pibbn, and with a Javvid isnd by Al-Bazzr; its narrators are well-known and are thiqat. See Ibn al-Jawzi,
Akm al-nis, p. 311.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
72
O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you Iirst learned to walk,
to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unIamiliar. By marrying you he has
become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.`
Take Irom me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder Ior you.
The Iirst and second oI them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, Ior
contentment brings peace oI mind, and listening to and obeying one`s husband pleases Allh.`
The third and Iourth oI them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see
anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell Irom you. Kohl is the best
kind oI beautiIication to be Iound, and water is better than the rarest perIume.`
The IiIth and the sixth oI them are: prepare his Iood on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, Ior
raging hunger is like a burning Ilame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.`
The seventh and eighth oI them are: take care oI his servants (or employees) and children, and take
care oI his wealth, Ior taking care oI his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care oI his
children and servants shows good management.`
The ninth and tenth oI them are: never disclose any oI his secrets, and never disobey any oI his orders,
Ior iI you disclose any oI his secrets you will never Ieel saIe Irom his possible betrayal, and iI you
disobey him, his heart will be Iilled with hatred towards you.`
Be careIul, O my daughter, oI showing joy in Iront oI him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow
in Iront oI him when he is happy, because the Iormer shows a lack oI judgement, whilst the latter will
make him unhappy.`
Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he
will enjoy your companionship and conversation.`
Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure
beIore your own, and his wishes beIore yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allh (,)
choose what is best Ior you and protect you.`
235
She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success; she gave birth to kings who ruled
aIter him.
This advice clearly included everything that one could think oI as regards the good manners that a young
girl needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion Ior him. The
words oI this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard Ior every young girl who is about to get married.
II she is rich, the true Muslim woman does not let her wealth and Iinancial independence make her
blind to the importance oI respecting her husband`s rights over her. She still takes care oI him and
honours him, no matter how rich she is or may become. She knows that she is obliged to show gratitude
to Allh Ior the blessings He has bestowed upon her, so she increases her charitable giving Ior the sake oI
Allh. The Iirst person to whom she should give generously is her own husband, iI he is poor; in this case
she will receive two rewards, one Ior taking care oI a Iamily member, and another Ior giving charity, as
the Prophet (7) stated in the adth narrated by Zaynab al-ThaqaIiyyah, the wiIe oI Abdullah ibn
Masd (W):
Ihe FrcpheI {7) Ic|c u:: 'C wcmen, give in chcriIy even if iI i: :cme cf ycur jewe||ery. She :cic, 'l wenI
Lcck Ic '/Lcu||h iLn Mc:'c cnc Ic|c him. 'Ycu cre c mcn cf |iII|e wec|Ih, cnc Ihe FrcpheI { 7) hc:
ccmmcncec u: Ic give chcriIy, :c gc cnc c:k him wheIher iI i: permi::iL|e fcr me Ic give ycu chcriIy. lf iI
i:, l wi|| cc :c: if iI i: ncI, l wi|| give chcriIy Ic :cmecne e|:e. '/Lcu|| h :cic, 'Nc, ycu gc cnc c:k. Sc l wenI,
cnc l fcunc c wcmcn cf Ihe /nr cI Ihe FrcpheI: cccr, whc c|:c hcc Ihe ue:Iicn. We fe|I Icc :hy Ic gc
in, cuI cf re:pecI, :c 8i|| ccme cuI cnc we c:kec him, 'Gc cnc Ie|| Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h IhcI Ihere cre
Iwc wcmen cI Ihe cccr c:king ycu: l: iI permi::iL|e fcr Ihem Ic give cccqcn Ic Iheir hu:Lcnc: cnc Ihe
crphcn: in Iheir ccre? 8uI cc ncI Ie|| him whc we cre. Sc 8i| | wenI in cnc ccnveyec Ihi: me::cge Ic Ihe
FrcpheI {7), whc c:kec, 'Whc cre Ihey? 8i| | :cic, 'Cne cf Ihe wcmen cf Ihe An, cnc ZcyncL. Ihe
FrcpheI {7) c:kec, 'Which ZcyncL i: iI? 8i| | :cic, 'Ihe wife cf '/Lcu||h. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'Ihey
wi|| hcve Iwc rewcrc:, Ihe rewcrc fcr uphc|cing Ihe re|cIicn:hip, cnc Ihe rewcrc fcr giving chcriIy."
236
235
Jamharat khutab al-arab, 1/145.
236
Fat al-Br, 3/328, Kitb al-:akt, bb al-:akt alal-:awf wal-avtam fil-hifr; 6a Muslim, 7/86, Kitb al-:akt, bb al-:akt alal-
aqrib.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
73
According to a report given by Bukhr, he said, Ycur hu:Lcnc cnc ycur chi|c cre mcre ce:erving cf
ycur chcriIy."
237
The true Muslim woman is always careIul to give thanks Ior Allh`s blessings iI her liIe is easy, and
she never loses her patience iI she encounters diIIiculty. She never Iorgets the warning that the Prophet
(7) issued to women in general, when he saw that most oI the inhabitants oI Hell will be women, and so
she seeks reIuge with Allh Irom becoming one oI them.
Bukhr and Muslim narrated Irom Ibn Abbs (W) that the Prophet (7) said:
C wcmen, give chcriIy, fcr l hcve :ure|y :een IhcI ycu fcrm Ihe mcjcriIy cf Ihe inhcLiIcnI: cf He||." Ihey
c:kec, 'Why i: Ihi: :c, C Me::enger cf /||h?" He :cic, 8eccu:e ycu cur:e Icc much, cnc cre ungrcIefu|
fcr gccc IrecImenI {cn Ihe pcrI cf ycur hu:Lcnc:)."
238
According to another report given by Bukhr, he said, Leccu:e Ihey cre ungrcIefu| fcr gccc cnc kinc
IrecImenI. Even if ycu IrecIec cne cf Ihem {Ihe:e ungrcIefu| wcmen) we|| fcr cn enIire |ifeIime, Ihen :he
:cw cne fcu|I in ycu, :he wcu|c :cy, 'l hcve never :een cnyIhing gccc frcm ycul"
239
According to a report given by Amad, a man said, C Me::enger cf /||h, cre Ihey ncI cur mcIher: cnc
:i:Ier: cnc wive:?" He :cic, Cf ccur:e, LuI when Ihey cre IrecIec genercu:|y Ihey cre ungrcIefu|, cnc
when Ihey cre Ie:Iec, Ihey cc ncI hcve pcIience."
240
When the true Muslim woman thinks about these a adth which describe the Iate oI most women
in the HereaIter, she is always on the alert lest she Iall into the sins oI ingratitude towards her husband, or
Irequent cursing, or denying her husband`s good treatment oI her, or Iorgetting to give thanks Ior times oI
ease, or Iailing to be patient at times oI diIIiculty. In any case, she hastens to give charity as the Prophet
(7) urged all women to do, in the hope that it may save them Irom that awIul Iate which will beIall
most oI those women who deviate Irom truth and let trivial matters distract them Irom remembering Allh
(,) and the Last Day, and whose bad qualities will ultimately lead them into the Eire oI Hell. The
Muslim woman, on the other hand, sets the highest example oI respect towards one`s husband and taking
note oI his good qualities. This is the attitude oI loyalty that beIits the true Muslim woman who respects
her husband`s rights and does not ignore his virtues.
Muslim women`s history is Iull oI stories, which reIlect this loyalty and recognition oI the good qualities
oI the husband. One oI these stories is that oI Asm bint Umays, who was one oI the greatest women in
Islm, and one oI the Iirst women to migrate to Madnah. She was married to JaIar ibn Ab lib, then to
Ab Bakr al-Siddq, then to Ali (may Allh be pleased with them all). On one occasion, her two sons
Muhammad ibn JaIar and Muhammad ibn Ab Bakr were competing with one another, each oI them
saying. 'I am better than you, and my Iather is better than your Iather. Ali said to her, 'Judge between
them, O Asm. She said, 'I have never seen a young man among the Arabs who was better than JaIar, and
I have never seen a mature man who was better than Ab Bakr. Ali said, 'You have not leIt anything Ior
me. II you had said anything other than what you have said, I would have hated you! Asm said: 'These
are the best three, and you are one oI them even iI you are the least oI them.
241
What a clever and eloquent answer this wise woman gave! She gave each oI her three husbands the
respect he deserved, and pleased Ali, even though he was the least oI them, because she included all oI
them in that group oI the best.
She Treuts his Mother und Iumily with Kindness und Respect
One oI the ways in which a wiIe expresses her respect towards her husband is by honouring and
respecting his mother.
237
Fat al-Br, 3/325, Kitb al-:akt, bb al-:akt alal-aqrib.
238
Fat al-Br, 3/325, Kitb al-:akt, bb al-:akt alal-aqrib; 6a Muslim, 2/65, Kitb al-imn, bb bavan naqsn al-mn bi naqs al-
taat.
239
Fat al-Br, 1/83, Kitb al-mn, bb kufran al-shir.
240
Reported by Amad, 3/428; its narrators are Rifal al-a.
241
Al-tabaqat al-kubra, 7/208-209.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
74
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI her religion knows that the person who has
the greatest right over a man is his mother, as we have seen in the adth oI bishah (May Allh be pleased
with her) quoted above. So she helps him to honour and respect his mother, by also honouring and
respecting her. In this way she will do herselI and her husband a Iavour, as she will be helping him to do
good deeds and Iear Allh (,), as commanded by the Qur`n. At the same time, she will endear herselI to
her husband, who will appreciate her honour and respect towards his Iamily in general, and towards his
mother in particular. Nothing could please a decent, righteous and respectIul man more than seeing strong
ties oI love and respect between his wiIe and his Iamily, and nothing could be more hateIul to a decent man
than to see those ties destroyed by the Iorces oI evil, hatred and conspiracy. The Muslim Iamily which is
guided by Iaith in Allh (,) and Iollows the pure teachings oI Islam is unlikely to Iall into the trap oI such
fhilivvah behaviour, which usually Ilourishes in an environment that is Iar removed Irom the true teachings
oI this religion.
A Muslim wiIe may Iind herselI being tested by her mother-in-law and other in-laws, iI they are not oI
good character. II such is the case, she is obliged to treat them in the best way possible, which requires a
great deal oI cleverness, courtesy, diplomacy and repelling evil with that which is better. Thus she will
maintain a balance between her relationship with her in-laws and her relationship with her husband, and
she will protect herselI and her marriage Irom any adverse eIIects that may result Irom the lack oI such a
balance.
The Muslim woman should never think that she is the only one who is required to be a good and caring
companion to her spouse, and that nothing similar is required oI her husband or that there is nothing wrong
with him mistreating her or Iailing to IulIil some oI the responsibilities oI marriage. Islm has regulated the
marital relationship by giving each partner both rights and duties. The wiIe`s duties oI honouring and taking
care oI her husband are balanced by the rights that she has over him, which are that he should protect her
honour and dignity Irom all kinds oI mockery, humiliation, trials or oppression. These rights oI the wiIe
comprise the husband`s duties towards her: he is obliged to honour them and IulIil them as completely as
possible.
One oI the Muslim husband`s duties is to IulIil his role oI qawwm (maintainer and protector)
properly. This is a role that can only be properly IulIilled by a man who is a successIul leader in his home
and Iamily, one who possesses likeable masculine qualities. Such a man has a noble and worthy attitude,
is tolerant, overlooks minor errors, is in control oI his married liIe, and is generous without being
extravagant. He respects his wiIe`s Ieelings and makes her Ieel that she shares the responsibility oI
running the household aIIairs, bringing up the children, and working with him to build a sound Muslim
Iamily, as Islm wants it to be.
CHAPTER 5
The Muslim Woman and Her Children
Introduction
Undoubtedly children are a source oI great joy and delight; they make liIe sweet, bring more ri:q
(sustenance) into a Iamily`s liIe and give hope. A Iather sees his children as a Iuture source oI help and
support, as well as representing an increase in numbers and perpetuation oI the Iamily. A mother sees her
children as a source oI hope, consolation and joy in liIe, and as hope Ior the Iuture. All oI these hopes rest
on the good upbringing oI the children and giving them a sound preparation Ior liIe, so that they will
become active and constructive elements in society, a source oI goodness Ior their parents, community
and society as a whole. Then they will be as (,) described them:
Wec|Ih cnc :cn: cre c||uremenI: cf Ihe |ife cf Ihi: wcr|c. (Qur`n 18: 46)
II their education and upbringing are neglected, they will become bad characters, a burden on their
Iamily, community and society as a whole.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
75
She Lnderstunds the Greut Responsibility Thut She Hus Towurds Her Children
The Muslim woman never Iorgets that the mother`s responsibility in bringing up the children and
Iorming their characters is greater than that oI the Iather, because children tend to be closer to their mother
and spend more time with her; she knows all about their behavioural, emotional and intellectual
development during their childhood and the diIIicult years oI adolescence.
Hence the woman who understands the teachings oI Islm and her own educational role in liIe, knows
her complete responsibility Ior the upbringing oI her children, as is reIerred to in the Qur`n:
C ycu whc Le|ievel Scve ycur:e|ve: cnc ycur fcmi|ie: frcm c Fire whc:e fue| i: Men cnc SIcne:.
(Qur`n 66: 6)
The Prophet (7) also reIerred to this responsibility in his adth:
Ecch cf ycu i: c :hepherc cnc ecch cf ycu i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck. Ihe |eccer i: c :hepherc cnc i:
re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck: c mcn i: Ihe :hepherc cf hi: fcmi|y cnc i:re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck: c wcmcn i: Ihe
:hepherc in Ihe hcu:e cf her hu:Lcnc cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr her f|cck: c :ervcnI i: Ihe :hepherc cf hi:
mc:Ier: wec|Ih cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr iI. Ecch cf ycu i: c :hepherc cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck."
242
Islm places responsibility on the shoulders oI every individual; not one person is leIt out. Parents -
especially mothers - are made responsible Ior providing their children with a solid upbringing and sound
Islmic education, based on the noble characteristics that the Prophet (7) declared that he had been sent
to complete and spread among people: l hcve cn|y Leen :enI Ic mcke righIecu: Lehcvicur ccmp|eIe."
243
Nothing is more indicative oI the greatness oI the parents` responsibility towards their children and
their duty to give them a suitable Islmic upbringing than the verdict oI the ulam that every Iamily
should heed the words oI the Prophet (7):
ln:IrucI ycur chi|cren Ic prcy when Ihey cre :even cnc hiI Ihem if Ihey cc ncI cc :c when Ihey cre Ien."
244
Any parents who are aware oI this adth but do not teach their children to pray when they reach seven
or hit them iI they do not do so when they reach ten, are parents who are sinners and Iailing in their duty;
they will be responsible beIore Allh (,) Ior their Iailure.
The Iamily home is a microcosm oI society in which the children`s mentality, intellect, attitudes and
inclinations are Iormed when they are still very small and are ready to receive sound words oI guidance.
Hence the parents` important role in Iorming the minds oI their sons and daughters and directing them
towards truth and good deeds is quite clear.
Muslim woman have always understood their responsibility in raising their children, and they have a
brilliant record in producing and inIluencing great men, and instilling noble values in their hearts. There
is no greater prooI oI that than the Iact that intelligent and brilliant women have produced more noble
sons than have intelligent and brilliant men, so much so that you can hardly Iind any among the great men
oI our ummah who have controlled the course oI events in history who is not indebted to his mother.
Al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwm was indebted Ior his greatness to his mother 6aIiyyah bint Abdul-Mualib,
who instilled in him his good qualities and distinguished nature.
Abdullh, al-Mundhir and Urwah, the sons oI Al-Zubayr were the products oI the values instilled in
them by their mother, Asm bint Ab Bakr, and each oI them made his mark in history and attained a high
status.
Ali ibn Ab lib (W) received wisdom, virtue and good character Irom his distinguished mother,
Eimah bint Asad.
Abdullh ibn JaIar, the master oI Arab generosity and the most noble oI their leaders, lost his Iather
at an early age, but his mother Asm bint Umays took care oI him and gave him the virtues and noble
characteristics by virtue oI which she herselI became one oI the great women oI Islm.
242
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 10/61, Kitb al-imrah wal-qada, bb al-rai masul an riatihi.
243
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/371, bb usn al-khulq.
244
Reported by Amad, 2/187, and by Ab Dwd with a asan isnd, 1/193, Kitb al-alt, bb mata vumar al-ghulam bil-alt
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
76
Muwiyah ibn Ab SuIyn inherited his strength oI character and intelligence Irom his mother, Hind
bint Utbah, not Irom his Iather Ab SuIyn. When he was a baby, she noticed that he had intelligent and
clever Ieatures. Someone said to her, 'II he lives, he will become the leader oI his people. She
responded, 'May he not live iI he is to become the leader oI his people alone!
Muwiyah was unable to instil his cleverness, patience and skills in his own son and heir, Yazd,
because the boy`s mother was a simple Bedouin woman, whom he had married Ior her beauty and
because oI the status oI her tribe and Iamily.
Muwiyah`s brother Ziyd ibn Ab SuIyn, who was a prime example oI intelligence, shrewdness and
quick-witness, was similarly unable to pass these qualities on to his son Ubaydullh, who grew up to be
stupid, clumsy, impotent and ignorant. His mother was Marjanah, a Persian woman who possessed none
oI the qualities that might entitle her to be the mother oI a great man.
History records the names oI two great men oI Ban Umayyah, the Iirst oI whom was known Ior his
strength oI character, capability, intelligence, wisdom and decisiveness, and the second oI whom took the
path oI justice, goodness, piety and righteousness.
The Iirst was Abdul-Mlik ibn Marwn, whose mother was bishah bint al-Mughrah ibn Ab`l-A
ibn Umayyah, who was well-known Ior her strength oI character, resolution and intelligence. The second
was Umar ibn Abdul-Azz (W), the IiIth oI the Khulaf al-rashidn, whose mother was Umm Aim
bint Aim ibn Umar ibn al-Khab, who was the most noble in character oI the women oI her time. Her
mother was the righteous worshipper oI Allh (,) whom Aim saw was honest and truthIul, and clearly
Iollowing the right path, when she reIused to add water to the milk as her mother told her to, because she
knew that Allh (,) could see her.
II we turn towards Andalusia, we Iind the brilliant, ambitious ruler Abdul-Ramn al-Nir who,
having started liIe as an orphan, went on to establish an Islmic state in the West, to which the leaders and
kings oI Europe surrendered and to whose institutes oI learning the scholars and philosophers oI all
nations came to seek knowledge. This state made a great contribution to world-wide Islmic culture. II we
were to examine the secret oI this man`s greatness, we would Iind that it lay in the greatness oI his mother
who knew how to instil in him the dynamic spirit oI ambition.
During the Abbsid period there were two great women who planted the seeds oI ambition, distinction
and ascendancy in their sons. The Iirst was the mother oI JaIar ibn Yaya, who was the wa:r oI the
khalfah Harn al-Rashd. The second was the mother oI Imm al-ShIi: he never saw his Iather who
died whilst he was still a babe in arms; it was his mother who took care oI his education.
There are many such examples oI brilliant women in our history, women who instilled in their sons
nobility oI character and the seeds oI greatness, and who stood behind them in everything they achieved
oI power and status.
She Lses the Best Methods in Bringing Them up
The intelligent Muslim woman understands the psychology oI her children, and is aware oI their
diIIerences in attitudes and inclination. She tries to penetrate their innocent world and plant the seeds oI
noble values and worthy characteristics, using the best and most eIIective methods oI parenting.
The mother is naturally close to her children, and she endears herselI to them so that they will be
open with her and will share their thoughts and Ieelings with her. She hastens to correct them and reIine
their thoughts and Ieelings, taking into account each child`s age and mental level. She plays and jokes
with them sometimes, complimenting them and letting then hear words oI love, aIIection, compassion
and selI-denial. Thus their love Ior her increases, and they will accept her words oI guidance and
correction eagerly. They will obey her out oI love Ior her, Ior there is a great diIIerence between sincere
obedience that comes Irom the heart, which is based on love, respect and trust, and insincere obedience
that is based on oppression, violence and Iorce. The Iormer is lasting obedience, strong and IruitIul,
whilst the latter is shallow and baseless, and will quickly vanish when the violence and cruelty reach
extreme levels.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
77
She emonstrutes her Love und AIIection Ior Them
The Muslim woman is not ignorant oI the Iact that her children need her warm lap, deep love and sincere
aIIection in order to develop soundly, with no psychological problems, crises or complexes. This sound
upbringing will Iill them with optimism, trust, hope and ambition. Thus the caring Muslim mother
demonstrates her love and aIIection Ior her children on every occasion, Ilooding their lives with joy and
happiness and Iilling their hearts with conIidence and security.
The true Muslim woman is compassionate towards her children, Ior compassion is a basic Islmic
characteristic, one that was encouraged by the Prophet (7) in word and deed as Anas (W) tells us:
l never :cw cnycne whc wc: mcre ccmpc::icncIe Icwcrc: chi|cren Ihcn Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7).
Hi: :cn lLrhm wc: in Ihe ccre cf c weI-nur:e in Ihe hi||: crcunc Mccnch. He wcu|c gc Ihere, cnc we
wcu|c gc wiIh him, cnc he wcu|c enIer Ihe hcu:e, pick up hi: :cn cnc ki:: him, Ihen ccme Lcck."
245
Ihe FrcpheI: ccmpc::icn cnc |cve Icwcrc: Mu:|im chi|cren inc|ucec |iII|e cne: cI p|cy . He wcu|c f|ccc
Ihem wiIh hi: ccmpc::icn cnc cffecIicn. /nc: {W) repcrIec IhcI whenever Ihe FrcpheI {7) pc::ec Ly c
grcup cf Lcy: he wcu|c :mi|e fcnc|y cnc greeI Ihem.
246
An example oI the Prophet`s enduring wisdom with regard to the upbringing oI children is the adth:
He i: ncI cne cf u: whc cce: ncI :hcw ccmpc::icn Ic cur |iII|e cne: cnc reccgnize Ihe righI: cf cur
e|cer:."
247
/L Hurcyrch {W) ncrrcIec IhcI Ihe FrcpheI {7) ki::ec /|-pc:cn iLn '/|i. /|-/rc' iLn pcLi: :cic, l hcve
Ien chi|cren cnc l hcve never ki::ec cny cf Ihem." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: He whc cce: ncI :hcw mercy
wi|| ncI Le :hcwn mercy."
248
The Prophet (7), this great educator, always sought to instil the quality oI mercy and compassion in
people`s hearts, and to awaken their potential Ior love and aIIection, which are the most basic oI human
characteristics.
Cne ccy c 8eccuin ccme cnc c:kec Ihe FrcpheI {7), Dc ycu ki:: ycur :cn:? We cc ncI." Ihe FrcpheI
{7) :cic, WhcI ccn l cc fcr ycu if /|| h {,) hc: remcvec mercy frcm ycur hecrI?"
249
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) reported:
Whenever Fimch ccme inIc Ihe rccm, Ihe FrcpheI {7) wcu|c :Icnc up, we|ccme her, ki:: her cnc
cffer her hi: :ecI, cnc whenever he ccme inIc Ihe rccm, :he wcu|c :Icnc up, Icke hi: hcnc, we|ccme
him, ki:: him cnc cffer him her :ecI. When :he ccme Ic :ee him curing hi: finc| i||ne::, he we|ccmec her
cnc ki::ec her."
250
The Prophet (7) praised the women oI Quraysh, because they were the most compassionate oI
women towards their children, the most concerned with raising them properly and making sacriIices Ior
them, in addition to taking good care oI their husbands. This may be seen in the words narrated by
Bukhr Irom Ab Hurayrah (W), who said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'Ihe wcmen cf Curcy:h cre Ihe Le:I wcmen ever Ic rice
ccme|:. Ihey cre ccmpc::icncIe Icwcrc: Iheir chi|cren cnc Ihe mc:I ccrefu| wiIh regcrc Ic Iheir
hu:Lcnc: wec|Ih"
251
In the light oI this guidance, the true Muslim woman cannot be stern towards her children and treat
them in a rough or mean Iashion, even iI it is her nature to be grim and reserved, because this religion,
245
6a Muslim, 15/75, Kitb al-fadil, bb ramatihi wa tawaduihi.
246
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 12/264, Kitb al-istidhan, bb al-taslm alal-subvan.
247
Reported by Amad, 2/185, and by Al-pkim, 1/62, Kitb al-mn; its isnd is a.
248
(Bukhr and Muslim), Shar al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb rahmah al-walad wa taqbilihi.
249
Fat al-Br, 10/426, Kitb al-adab, bb ramah al-walad wa taqbilihi.
250
See Fat al-Br, 8/135, Kitb al-magha:i, bb maraduhu wa wafatuhu; Ab Dwd, 4/480, Kitb al-adb, bb ma faa fil-qivm.
251
Fat al-Br, 6/472, Kitb adth al-anbiva, bb qawlihi taala, 45-48 min Al Imrn.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
78
with its enlightenment and guidance, soItens hearts and awakens Ieelings oI love and aIIection. So our
children are a part oI us, going Iorth into the world, as the poet pian ibn al-Muall said:
'Our children are our hearts, walking among us on the Iace oI the earth, iI even a little breeze touches
them, we cannot sleep Ior worrying about them.
252
Parents should be Iilled with love, aIIection and care, willing to make sacriIices and do their best Ior
their children.
Undoubtedly the wealth oI emotion that the Muslim mother Ieels Ior her children is one oI the greatest
causes oI her happiness in liIe. This is something, which has been lost by Western women, who are
overwhelmed by materialism and exhausted by the daily grind oI work, which has caused them to lose the
warmth oI Iamily Ieelings. This was vividly expressed by Mrs. Salma al-paIIar, a member oI the Syrian
women`s movement, aIter she had visited America:
'It is truly a shame that women lose the most precious thing that nature
253
has given them, i.e. their
Iemininity, and then their happiness, because the constant cycle oI exhausting work has caused them to
lose the small paradise which is the natural reIuge oI women and men alike, one that can only Ilourish
under the care oI a mother who stays at home. The happiness oI individuals and society as a whole is to
be Iound at home, in the lap oI the Iamily; the Iamily is the source oI inspiration, goodness and
creativity.
254
She Treuts her Sons und uughters Lquully
The wise Muslim woman treats all her children Iairly and equally. She does not preIer one oI them over
another in any way, because she knows that Islm Iorbids such actions on the part oI the parents, and
because oI the negative psychological impact that this may have over the child whose sibling is preIerred
over him. The child who Ieels that he is not treated equally with his brothers and sisters will grow up with
complexes and anxiety, eating his heart out with jealousy and hatred. In contrast, the child who grows up
Ieeling that he and his siblings are treated equally will grow up healthy and Iree Irom jealousy and hatred;
he will be content, cheerIul, tolerant and willing to put others beIore himselI. This is what Islm requires oI
parents and urges them to do.
8ukhr, Mu:|im cnc cIher: repcrI IhcI Ihe fcIher cf /| -Nu'mn iLn 8c:hr {W) LrcughI him Ic Ihe FrcpheI
{7) cnc :cic, l hcve given Ihi: :cn cf mine c :|cve l hcve." Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic, Hcve ycu given ecch
cf ycur chi|cren Ihe :cme?" He :cic, Nc." Ihe FrcpheI { 7) Ic|c him, Ihen Icke Ihe :|cve Lcck."
According to another report:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) c:kec, 'Hcve ycu ccne Ihe :cme fcr c|| ycur chi|cren? |My fcIher] :cic, 'Nc, :c Ihe
FrcpheI {7) :cic, 'Fecr /||h {,) cnc IrecI c|| cf ycur chi|cren euc||y."
According to a third report:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) c:kec, 'C 8i:hr, cc ycu hcve cny cIher chi|cren? He :cic, 'Ye:. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) c:kec,
'Wi|| ycu give c :imi|cr gifI Ic ecch cf Ihem? He :cic, 'Nc. Sc Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, 'Dc ncI c:k me Ic
wiIne:: Ihi:, Leccu:e l cc ncI wcnI Ic wiIne:: unfcirne::. Ihen he cccec, 'Wcu|c ycu ncI |ike c|| ycur
chi|cren Ic IrecI ycu wiIh euc| re:pecI? |8i:hr] :cic, 'Cf ccur:e. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) Ic|c him, 'Sc cc ncI cc
iI."
255
So the Muslim woman who truly Iears Allh (,) treats all her children with equal Iairness, and does
not Iavour one above the other in giving giIts, spending money on them, or in the way she treats them.
Then all oI them will love her, will pray Ior her and will treat her with kindness and respect.
252
Ab Tammam, Al-pamasah, 1/167.
253
In Iact it is Allh (,) Who gives these things, not nature. This expression is one oI the eIIects oI Westernization. |Author|
254
Erom an article by Salma al-paIIar in the Damascus newspaper Al-Avvam, 3/9/1962.
255
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 8/296, Kitb al-atava wal-hadava, bb al-rufu fi hibbah al-walad wal-taswivvah bavna
al-awlad fil-nahl.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
79
She oes not iscriminute Between Sons und uughters in her AIIection und Cure
The true Muslim woman does not discriminate between her sons and daughters in her aIIection and
care, as do some women who are not Iree Irom the eIIects oI a fhilivvah mentality. She is Iair to all her
children, boys and girls alike, and cares Ior them all with compassion and love. She understands that
children are a giIt Irom Allh (,), and that Allh`s giIt, be it oI sons or daughters, cannot be rejected or
changed:
.He Le:Icw: |chi|cren] mc|e cr femc|e ccccrcing Ic Hi: Wi|| |cnc F|cn], cr He Le:Icw: LcIh
mc|e: cnc femc|e:, cnc He |ecve: Lcrren Whcm He wi||: fcr He i: fu|| cf kncw|ecge cnc pcwer.
(Qur`n 42: 49-50)
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by her religion does not Iorget the great reward that Allh (,)
has prepared Ior the one who brings up daughters and takes care oI them properly, as is stated in
numerous a adth, Ior example the adth narrated by Bukhr Irom bishah (May Allh be pleased
with her) in which she says:
/ wcmcn ccme Ic me wiIh her Iwc ccughIer: cnc c:kec me {fcr chcriIy). She fcunc IhcI l hcc ncIhing
excepI fcr c :ing|e ccIe, which l gcve Ic her. She Icck iI cnc civicec iI LeIween her Iwc ccughIer:, cnc
cic ncI ecI cny cf iI her:e|f, Ihen :he gcI up cnc |efI wiIh her ccughIer:. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) ccme in cnc l
Ic|c him whcI hcc hcppenec. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, Whcever i: Ie:Iec wiIh ccughIer: cnc IrecI: Ihem
we||, Ihey wi|| Le fcr him c :hie|c cgcin:I Ihe Fire cf He||."
256
According to another report narrated by Muslim Irom bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), she
said:
/ pccr wcmcn ccme Ic me ccrrying her Iwc ccughIer:. l gcve her Ihree ccIe: Ic ecI. She gcve ecch
chi|c c ccIe, cnc rci:ec Ihe Ihirc Ic her cwn mcuIh Ic ecI iI. Her ccughIer: c:kec her Ic give iI Ic Ihem,
:c :he :p|iI Ihe ccIe IhcI :he hcc wcnIec Ic ecI LeIween Ihem. l wc: impre::ec Ly whcI :he hcc ccne,
cnc Ic|c Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) cLcuI iI. He :cic, /||h {,) hc: cecreec Fcrcci:e fcr her Leccu:e
cf iI," cr, He hc: :cvec her frcm He|| Leccu:e cf iI."
257
Ab Hurayrah (W) reported that the Prophet (7) said:
Whcever hc: Ihree ccughIer:, cnc :he|Ier: Ihem, Lecring Iheir jcy: cnc :crrcw: wiIh pcIience, /|| h {,) wi||
ccmiI him Ic Fcrcci:e Ly virIue cf hi: ccmpc::icn Icwcrc: Ihem." / mcn c:kec, WhcI if he hc: cn|y Iwc, C
Me::enger cf /||h?" He :cic, Even if Ihey cre cn|y Iwc." /ncIher mcn c:kec, WhcI if he hc: cn|y cne, C
Me::enger cf /||h?" He :cic, Even if he hc: cn|y cne."
258
Ibn Abbs (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Whcever hcc c ccughIer Lcrn Ic him, cnc he cic ncI Lury her c|ive
cr humi|icIe her, cnc he cic ncI prefer hi: :cn cver her, /|| h {,) wi|| ccmiI him Ic Fcrcci:e Leccu:e cf
her."
259
The Prophet`s compassion extended to Iemales, and included sisters as well as daughters, as is seen in
the adeeth narrated by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad Irom Ab Sad al-Khudr, who said: 'The Prophet
(7) said:
'Ihere i: nc-cne whc hc: Ihree ccughIer:, cr Ihree :i:Ier:, cnc he IrecI: Ihem we||, LuI /|| h {,) wi|| ccmiI
him Ic Fcrcci:e."
260
According to a report given by A-abarn, the Prophet (7) said:
256
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/187, Kitb al-:ak, bb fadl al-adaqah alal-awld wal-aqrib.
257
6a Muslim, 16/179, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb al-isan ilal-bant.
258
Reported by Amad, 2/335 and Al-pkim, 4/176, Kitb al-birr wal-silah. He said: its isnd is a.
259
Reported by Al-pkim in Al-Mustadrak 4/177, Kitb al-birr wal-silah. He said: its isnd is a.
260
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/162, bb man ala thalatha ihkawat.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
80
Ihere i: nc cne cmcng my ummch whc hc: Ihree ccughIer:, cr Ihree :i:Ier:, cnc he :uppcrI: IhemunIi|
Ihey cre grcwn up, LuI he wi|| Le wiIh me in Fcrcci:e |ike Ihi:," cnc he he|c up hi: incex cnc micc|e
finger: IcgeIher.
261
No wise mother complains about bringing up daughters, or preIers her sons over them, iI she listens to
the teachings oI the Prophet (7) which raise the status oI daughters and promise Paradise as wide as
heaven and earth and the company oI the Prophet (7) to the one who brings them up and treats them
properly!
In the Muslim Iamily, and in the true Islmic society, girls are protected, loved and respected. In the
warm bosom oI her parents - especially her mother - a girl will always Iind protection and care, no matter
how long she stays in the home oI her parents, brothers or other Iamily members who should support her,
whether she is married or not. Islm has guaranteed girls a liIe oI protection, pride and support, and has
spared them Irom a liIe oI humiliation, need, want and having to earn a living, such as is the lot oI women
living in societies that have gone astray Irom the guidance oI Allh (,). In those countries, a girl barely
reaches the age oI eighteen beIore she leaves the comIort oI her parents` home to Iace the hardships oI a
liIe Iilled with diIIiculties and risks at the time when she is most in need oI protection, compassion and
care.
There is a huge diIIerence between the laws oI Allh (,), which came to bring happiness to mankind,
and the imperIect man-made laws which cause nothing but misery.
It comes as no surprise that in the West, as a result oI these materialistic laws, we see armies oI
promiscuous young men and hordes oI unIortunate, miserable, unmarried young mothers, the numbers oI
which are increasing exponentially day by day.
She oes not Pruy Aguinst her Children
The wise Muslim woman does not pray against her own children, heeding the words oI the Prophet
(7) who Iorbade such prayers lest they be oIIered at a time when prayers are answered. This was stated
in the lengthy adth narrated by Jbir in which the Prophet (7) said:
Dc ncI prcy cgcin:I ycur:e|ve:, cr cgcin:I ycur chi|cren, cr cgcin:I ycur wec|Ih, in cc:e ycu :cy :uch
wcrc: cI c Iime when /||h {,) wi|| cn:wer ycur prcyer."
262
Praying against one`s own children is not a good habit. No mother does so at a time oI anger, but she will
regret it later on aIter she has calmed down. I do not think that a mother who has truly sought the guidance
oI Islm would lose her mind and her equilibrium to such an extent that she would pray against her own
children, no matter what they did. Such a woman would not allow herselI to indulge in something that is
done only by Ioolish, hot-tempered women.
She is Alert to Lverything thut Muy Huve un InIluence on Them
The smart Muslim mother keeps her eyes open as Iar as her children are concerned. She knows what
they are reading and writing, the hobbies and activities they persue, the Iriends they have chosen, and the
places they go to in their Iree time. She knows all oI this without her children Ieeling that she is watching
them. II she Iinds anything objectionable in their hobbies, reading-materials, etc., or iI she sees them
hanging around with undesirable Iriends, or going to unsuitable places, or taking up bad habits such as
smoking, or wasting time and energy on arm games that teach them to get used to trivialities, she
hastens to correct her children in a gentle and wise manner, and persuades them to return to the straight
and narrow. The mother is more able to do this than the Iather, because she spends much more time with
the children, and they are more likely to open up and share their thoughts and Ieelings with her than with
their Iather. Hence it is quite clear that the mother has a great responsibility to bring up her children
properly and Iorm their characters in a sound Iashion, in accordance with Islmic principles, values and
traditions.
261
Reported by A-abarn in Al-Awsat with two isnds; the narrators oI the Iirst isnd are Rifal al-a. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 8/157.
262
6a Muslim, 18/139, Kitb al-:uhd, bb adth Jbir a-awl.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
81
Every child is born in a state oI firah (the natural, good, disposition oI mankind), and it is the parents
who make him into a Jew, a Christian or a Magian, as the Prophet (7) said in the a adth narrated
by Bukhr.
There is no secret about the enormous impact the parents have on the personality and psychological
development oI their child Irom the earliest years until the child attains the age oI reason.
The books that children read should open their minds and Iorm their personalities well, giving them
the highest examples to Iollow; they should not corrupt their minds and extinguish the light oI goodness
in their souls.
Hobbies should help to develop the positive aspects oI a child`s nature and reinIorce good tastes, not
encourage any negative tendencies.
Eriends should be oI the type that will lead one to Paradise, not to Hell; they should inIluence a child
in a positive way and encourage him to do good, to strive to improve himselI and to succeed, not drag
him down into sin, disobedience and Iailure. How many people have been brought to the slippery slope oI
destruction and perdition by their Iriends, whilst their mothers and Iathers were unaware oI what was
happening to their own children! How wise are the words oI the poet Adiyy ibn Zayd al-Ibad
concerning Iriends:
'II you are among people, then make Iriends with the best oI them.
Do not make Iriends with the worst oI them lest you become as bad as he is.
Do not ask about the man, but ask about his Iriends, Ior every person is inIluenced by his Iriends.
263
The true Muslim mother takes notice oI her children`s books, magazines, hobbies, school, teachers,
clubs, media interests, and everything that may have an impact on their personalities, minds, souls and
Iaith. She intervenes when necessary, either to encourage or to put a stop to something, so that the
children`s upbringing will not be aIIected by corruption or sickness.
SuccessIul upbringing oI children depends on a mother who is alert and intelligent, and understands
her responsibility towards her children, so that she does a good job and raises children who will be a boon
to their parents and society in general. Eamilies that Iail to raise their children properly usually do so
because the mother does not understand her responsibility towards her children, so she neglects them and
they become a source oI evil and a torment to their parents and others.
Children would not become a source oI evil iI their parents, especially the mother, knew their
responsibility and took it seriously.
She Instils Good Behuviour und Attitudes in Them
The Muslim woman tries hard to instil in her children`s hearts the best qualities, such as loving others,
upholding the ties oI kinship, caring Ior the weak, respecting elders, showing compassion to little ones,
deriving satisIaction Irom doing good, being sincere in word and deed, keeping promises, judging Iairly,
and all other good and praiseworthy characteristics.
The wise Muslim woman knows how to reach her children`s hearts and instil these worthy qualities,
using the best and most eIIective methods, such as setting a good example, coming down to their level,
treating them well, encouraging them, advising and correcting them, and being compassionate, kind,
tolerant, loving, and Iair. She is gentle without being too lenient, and is strict without being harsh. Thus
the children receive a proper upbringing, and grow up open-minded, mature, righteous, sincere, good,
able to give and prepared to make a constructive contribution in all aspects oI liIe. Not surprisingly, the
Muslim mother`s upbringing produces the best results, Ior she is the Iirst school and the Iirst teacher, as
the poet said:
'The mother is a school: iI you prepare her properly, you will prepare an entire people oI good
character, The mother is the Iirst teacher, Ioremost among them, and the best oI teachers.
264
263
See Adivv ibn Zavd al-Ibad. Al-Shair al-Mubtakir, by the author, pp. 171-172.
264
Diwan pafidh Ibrhm, 282. Published by Dr al-Kutub al-Miriyyah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
82
CHAPTER 6
The Muslim Woman and Her Sons and Daughters-In-Law
A - Her Daughter-In-Law
Her Attitude Towurds her uughter-In-Luw
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI her religion and who is oI a high
character, regards her daughter-in-law as she regards her own daughters. Eate has made this
woman the wiIe oI her son, and she has joined the Iamily and become one oI its members.
Similarly, when the young Muslim woman who has been brought up with Islmic values and
attitudes leaves her parents` home and goes to live with her new husband, she regards her
mother-in-law as she does her own mother.
She Knows how to Muke u Good Choice in Selecting u uughter-In-Luw
Thus beIore any marriage takes place, it is very important Ior both parties (both potential mothers-in-
law and potential daughters-in-law) to be very careIul in making the right choice. When seeking spouses
Ior her sons and daughters, a mother must examine each candidate`s religious commitment and character,
and look Ior a sound upbringing and good reputation.
When the wise Muslim woman looks Ior a wiIe Ior her son, she always bears in mind the Iact that this
will be a new daughter joining her Iamily, one who should enjoy the same respect and love as her own
daughters, and who will share their duties within the Iramework oI the greater Iamily. She should want
Ior her new daughter-in-law nothing but success, happiness and stability in marriage. So the wise mother
will not be attracted by those girls who appear pretty and cheerIul on the outside only; she will also
require her Iuture daughter-in-law Iirst and Ioremost to be strong in her commitment to Islm, and to be
oI a good and balanced character. This is in accordance with the teaching oI the Prophet (7):
/ wcmcn mcy Le mcrriec fcr fcur rec:cn:: her wec|Ih, her |inecge, her LecuIy cr her re|igicn: chcc:e
Ihe cne whc i: re|igicu:, mcy ycur hcnc: Le ruLLec wiIh cu:Il"
265
She Knows her Pluce
On the basis oI this correct understanding oI the daughter-in-law`s position in marriage and
her position in her new Iamily, the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law properly and Iairly
in all circumstances and at all times.
It never crosses the mind oI the Muslim mother-in-law who is Iilled with Islmic values,
that this woman has stolen the son whom she spent long years bringing up only to be taken
away, when he reached the age oI manhood and became able to work and make sacriIices, by a
wiIe who would lead him into a happy home where he would Iorget everything that his mother
had ever done Ior him. Such evil thoughts never occur to the righteous Muslim woman,
because she understands the laws oI Allh (,) that apply in this liIe, and she knew that her
son, to whom she taught Islmic values Irom early childhood, cannot be made to Iorget his
mother by his beautiIul wiIe, just as the daughter-in-law whom she chose Ior her son Irom
among the good, believing young women, would never accept Ior her husband to Iorget his
mother in this way, which is precisely that disobedience which has been Iorbidden by Islm.
II she Ieels any stirrings oI jealousy at some moment oI human weakness, she seeks reIuge in her Iaith
and Iear oI Allh (,), and so she sheds these hateIul Ieelings and returns to a proper opinion oI her
daughter-in-law. This is the attitude oI the righteous believers, men and women alike, when they are
struck by some evil thought they turn to Allh (,):
265
(Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 9/8, Kitb al-nik, bb ikhtivar dht al-dn.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
83
Ihc:e whc fecr /||h, when c IhcughI cf evi| frcm ScIcn c::cu|I: Ihem, Lring /||h Ic rememLrcnce,
when |cl Ihey :ee |crighI]l (Qur`n 7: 201)
Hence a balance is struck between the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law and the husband, and
matters may run their natural, peaceIul course unaIIected by misguided whims and desires and governed
instead by religion, reason and wisdom.
She Gives Advice but oes not InterIere in Their Privute LiIe
Erom the moment her daughter-in-law is brought as a bride to her son, the wise Muslim woman
remembers that her daughter-in-law has the right to live her married liIe in all aspects - so long as it
remains within the limits oI Islmic teaching - and that no-one has the right to interIere in the private liIe
oI the spouses except in cases where it is essential to do so, as every Muslim is required to give sincere
advice in accordance with the Prophet`s words: Fe|igicn i: :incere ccvice {nc:cn)."
266
The Muslim mother-in-law`s standard in her behaviour towards her daughter-in-law is her behaviour
towards her own daughter: just as she wants her daughter to have a happy, successIul and independent
marriage, undisturbed by any interIerence in her private liIe, so she wishes the same Ior her daughter-in-
law, with no exceptions.
She Respects her und Treuts her Well
The good Muslim mother-in-law respects her daughter-in-law and treats her well; she makes her Ieel that
she is loved and appreciated; she listens to her thoughts and opinions, approving and encouraging those that
are good, and gently correcting those that are mistaken. In all oI this, the mother-in-law`s aim is to be Iair and
just, so she judges her daughter-in-law exactly as she would judge her daughter iI she were in her place giving
her opinion to her mother, in accordance with the words oI the Qur`n:
C ycu whc Le|ievel Fecr /||h, cnc |c|wcy:] :cy c wcrc cirecIec Ic Ihe FighI. (Qur`n 33: 70)
She does not omit to express the joy that she Ieels Irom time to time, when she sees that her son is happy
with his wiIe, and this adds to the best Ieelings that her son and daughter-in-law Ieel. Similarly, she does not
Iorget to include her daughter-in-law on various occasions, just as she thinks oI her daughters, so she lets
her accompany them, and makes her Ieel that she is one oI them, and that she is a beloved member oI the
Iamily since she is married to her beloved son.
In this way the mother-in-law becomes dear to her daughter-in-law, because she shows that her
daughter-in-law is dear to her. This is in direct contrast to the practice in those backward, fhilivvah
societies that have deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,), where hatred and despicable plots between
mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are the norm, to such an extent that this enmity has become a
traditional, inevitable phenomenon, about which there are many Iolk sayings and popular songs. None oI
this could have happened iI both mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law had really respected one another`s
rights as outlined by Islm, and had stayed within the limits prescribed by Allh (,). This is why the
traditional enmity between the mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law disappeared in those societies that
truly embraced Islm and adhered to its teachings and values.
She is Wise und Iuir in her Judgement oI her uughter-In-Luw
A mother-in-law may Iind herselI being tested by a daughter-in-law who is not oI good character, one
who does not treat others well. Here we see the need Ior the mother-in-law to exercise wisdom and
sophistication by repelling evil with something better, as stated in the Qur`n:
Ncr ccn Gcccne:: cnc Evi| Le euc|. Fepe| |Evi|] wiIh whcI i: LeIIer: Ihen wi|| he LeIween whcm
cnc ycu wc: hcIrec Leccme c: iI were ycur frienc cnc inIimcIel /nc nc cne wi|| Le grcnIec :uch
gcccne:: excepI Ihc:e whc exerci:e pcIience cnc :e|f-re:IrcinI - ncne LuI per:cn: cf Ihe grecIe:I
gccc fcrIune. (Qur`n 41: 34-35)
One way in which a mother-in-law may repel evil with something better is by concealing her
daughter-in-law`s negative qualities and mistakes Irom her son as much as possible, advising her
266
6a Muslim, 2/37, Kitb al-imn, bb bavan an al-din al-nasah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
84
daughter-in-law on her own and explaining how keen she is Ior the marriage to continue on the
basis oI love and good works. The mother-in-law should continue to advise her daughter-in-law
until she rids herselI oI those negative qualities, or at least minimizes them. Thus the daughter-in-
law will Ieel that she has a sincere, loving mother-in-law, not a Iearsome enemy who is just
waiting Ior her to stumble.
The wise Muslim mother-in-law remains Iair and just when she judges between her daughter-in-law and
her son, iI she sees her son mistreating her daughter-in-law. Her awareness and Iear oI Allh (,) prevent her
Irom siding with her son at the expense oI the truth, so she does not support him in oppressing his wiIe or in
doing wrong. This is in accordance with the words oI the Qur`n:
.Whenever ycu :peck, :peck ju:I|y, even if c necr re|cIive i: ccncernec. (Qur`n 6: 152)
./nc when ycu jucge LeIween mcn cnc mcn, IhcI ycu jucge wiIh ju:Iice. (Qur`n 4: 58)
The Muslim woman who is truly Iollowing this guidance will never commit the sin oI
oppression, and will never be content to give any judgement except that which is Iair, even iI this
means judging in Iavour oI her daughter-in-law and against her son.
B - Her Son-In-Law
Her Attitude Towurds her Son-In-Luw
The attitude oI the truly-guided Muslim woman towards her sons-in-law is no diIIerent than her
attitude towards her daughters-in-law. She treats her daughter-in-law as iI she were one oI her own
daughters, and similarly she treats her son-in-law as iI he were one oI her own sons. Just as she wants her
own son to be one oI the best oI people, so she also wants her son-in-law to be one oI the best oI people
too.
She Knows How to Muke u Good Choice in Selecting u Son-In-Luw
So she makes a good choice when selecting a son-in-law, accepting none but one who is religious,
well-mannered and has a good reputation, as the Prophet (7) encouraged Muslims to do in the adth:
lf Ihere ccme: Ic ycu cne wiIh whc:e re|igicu: ccmmiImenI cnc chcrccIer ycu cre p|ec:ec, Ihen mcrry
ycur ccughIer Ic him: if ycu cc ncI cc :c, iI wi|| Le c ccu:e cf ||tncn cnc wice:precc mi:chief cn ecrIh."
267
In seeking a spouse Ior her daughter, she is not attracted only by a smart appearance, high status or
plentiIul wealth, because she knows that by marrying her daughter to this man she is going to gain a son,
to whom she will entrust her daughter`s honour, liIe and happiness, none oI which may be protected or
properly taken care oI except by a man who is well-mannered, religious, noble, chivalrous and moral.
She Respects und Honours him
Not surprisingly, her son-in-law is on the receiving end oI her honour, respect and appreciation. At
every opportunity she makes him Ieel that he has become a member oI the Iamily by marrying her
daughter, so she wishes him and her daughter happiness and success in their liIe together. She lets him
know that he is the one to whom she has entrusted the precious honour oI her daughter, and in whom she
places her hopes Ior the achievement oI her daughter`s Iondest wishes. She makes him Ieel that she is a
second mother to him, so she does not withhold any advice, or spare any eIIort to do whatever will bring
happiness to him, his wiIe and his children.
She Helps her uughter to be u Good WiIe to her Husbund
The wise Muslim woman never ceases to oIIer advice to her daughter in ways that will be oI beneIit to
her in running her household and taking care oI her husband and children. She always points out to her
267
A asan adth narrated by Tirmidh, 2/274, Abwb al-nik, 3; Ibn Mjah, 1/633, Kitb al-nik, bb al-akf.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
85
daughter anything that will please her husband and make him happy, and encourages her to undertake the
duties oI a wiIe and mother in the best way possible. II she notices any shortcoming, negligence or
carelessness on the part oI her daughter, she hastens to correct and advise her, and helps her to make up
Ior the shortcoming, so that there will be no reason Ior her son-in-law to look down on her daughter. She
does not neglect to mention her son-in-law`s good characteristics Irom time to time, so that her daughter
will become more Iond oI him, and more content with what Allh (,) has given her. In this way, a
mother becomes the greatest help to her daughter in consolidating her marriage and making it happy.
She is Iuir, und is Never Biused in Iuvour oI her uughter
The Muslim mother-in-law is always Iair in her opinions and judgements iI any misunderstanding
arises between her daughter and son-in-law, or iI she notices any Iailure on her daughter`s part to be a
good wiIe or to perIorm her domestic duties or to take care oI her husband`s legitimate desires. She does
not stand by her daughter, rather she speaks words oI Iairness and truth, as commanded by Allh (,) in
the Qur`n:
.Whenever ycu :peck, :peck ju:I|y, even if c necr re|cIive i: ccncernec. (Qur`n 6: 152)
./nc when ycu jucge LeIween mcn cnc mcn, IhcI ycu jucge wiIh ju:Iice. (Qur`n 4: 58)
II she notices that her daughter tends to take a lot oI money Irom her husband or spends extravagantly,
and that her words oI advice to her daughter are not heeded, then she speaks out, explaining to her
daughter the error oI her ways and pointing out how she has transgressed the limits laid down by Islm
with regard to spending, as has been outlined in the Qur`nic description oI the honoured, truly-guided
servants oI Allh (,):
Ihc:e whc, when Ihey :penc, cre ncI exIrcvcgcnI cnc ncI niggcrc|y, LuI hc|c c ju:I |Lc|cnce]
LeIween Ihc:e |exIreme:]. (Qur`n 25: 67)
II what she notices on her daughter`s part is excessive power and a tendency to undermine her
husband`s honour and qawwmah, she hastens to explain to her daughter in the clearest terms that men
are qawwmn over women, as the Qur`n says:
Men cre Ihe prcIecIcr: cnc mcinIciner: cf wcmen, Leccu:e /||h hc: given Ihe cne mcre
|:IrengIh] Ihcn Ihe cIher, cnc Leccu:e Ihey :uppcrI Ihem frcm Iheir mecn:. (Qur`n 4: 34)
And that men have been given this role oI protecting and maintaining women Ior two
essential reasons which women should never Iorget: the precedence given to men, and the
wealth that they spend on women:
.LuI men hcve c cegree |cf ccvcnIcge] cver Ihem. (Qur`n 2: 228)
The mother-in-law who is adhering to Islm and who is wise and Iair does not diIIerentiate between
her son and her son-in-law. Just as she wants her son to IulIil his role as qawwm over his wiIe and to
conduct his marriage wisely, seriously and in a manly Iashion, so she wants the same thing Ior her son-in-
law too, even iI that means that her daughter has to Iace some strictness, because justice demands that oI
every woman who believes in Allh (,) and the Last Day.
Just as the Muslim mother-in-law will criticize her daughter-in-law iI necessary Ior any extravagance
that she may notice, out oI compassion towards her son, she will also criticize her own daughter iI she
oversteps the limits, in order to be Iair and just, and in obedience to the words oI the Qur`n:
.Whenever ycu :peck, :peck ju:I|y, even if c necr re|cIive i: ccncernec. (Qur`n 6: 152)
She euls With Problems Wisely
A son-in-law may be oI a certain mentality with which his wiIe and mother-in-law do not Ieel at ease,
which may result in mutual dislike and arguments. In such cases, the duty oI the mother-in-law who
understands the teachings oI Islm is to approach her son-in-law in a sensitive manner, taking into
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
86
account his particular mentality and nature, to deal with him wisely, and never to despair oI reaching her
goal with a measure oI patience and persistence.
She is always very careIul never to exaggerate her son-in-law`s negative points to her daughter; rather,
so long as those negative aspects do not aIIect his religion or moral character and do not warrant the end
oI the marriage, she tries to make them look as small as possible, whilst striving to deal with them by
legitimate means and wise methods.
Thus the mother-in-law who is truly guided by Islm becomes a blessing and a source oI goodness Ior
her daughter and her husband, oIIering solid support to their marriage and proving by her Iairness and
piety that she is indeed a second mother to the husband, not the traditional enemy oI the couple, as she is
oIten described in backward, fhilivvah societies where comedians tell Iunny stories oI that everlasting
enmity which in Iact is the result oI the Muslims` Iailure to properly apply the laws and values oI their
religion.
We may well imagine the great happiness Ielt by both Iamilies - her son`s Iamily and her daughter`s
Iamily - towards this wise, sensitive, pious mother-in-law, when she is sincere and loved by both her son-
in-law and her daughter-in-law, and this love is reIlected in the happiness oI both Iamilies.
By virtue oI her taqw, Iairness and goodness to her son- and daughter-in-law, she increases the
happiness oI her daughter and son, and contributes to the comIort and tranquillity oI their Iamilies.
How beautiIul are the deeds oI the intelligent, believing mother-in-law, and how great is the
need oI her sons` and daughters` Iamilies Ior her!
CHAPTER 7
The Muslim Woman and Her Relatives
The Muslim woman who is guided by the teachings oI her religion never Iorgets that her relatives have
rights over her, and that she is required to uphold the ties oI kinship and to treat them well. The relatives
(in Arabic Arm, which literally means 'wombs) are those to whom a person is linked by ties oI blood,
whether they are his heirs or not.
Islmic View oI Kinship Ties
lslm has recognized the ties of kinship in a way that is unparalleled in other religions or
"isms; it enjoins Muslims to uphold the ties of kinship and condemns the one who breaks this tie.
There is no greater prooI oI the emphasis placed by Islm on the ties oI kinship than the vivid picture
painted by the Prophet (7), who described kinship (ram) as standing in the vast arena oI creation and
seeking reIuge with Allh (,) Irom being cut oII. Allh (,) answers its prayer, taking care oI those who
maintain the ties oI kinship, and cutting oII those who cut oII these ties. This is seen in the a adth
narrated by Ab Hurayrah who said, 'The Prophet (7) said:
'/||h {,) crecIec Ihe univer:e, cnc when He hcc fini:hec, kin:hip { cn) :Iccc up cnc :cic, Ihi: i: Ihe
:Icncing up cf cne whc :eek: Ycur prcIecIicn frcm Leing cuI cff." /|| h {,) :cic, Ye:, wcu|c iI p|ec:e
ycu if l were Ic Icke ccre cf Ihc:e whc Icke ccre cf ycu cnc cuI cff Ihc:e whc cuI ycu cff?" lI :cic, Cf
ccur:e." /||h {,) :cic, Ihen ycur prcyer i: grcnIec." Ihen Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, 'FeciIe, if ycu wi:h:
Ihen, i: iI Ic Le expecIec cf ycu, if ycu were puI in cuIhcriIy, IhcI ycu wi|| cc mi:chief, in Ihe |cnc,
cnc Lreck ycur Iie: cf kiIh cnc kin? Such cre Ihe men whcm /||h hc: cur:ec fcr He hc: mcce Ihem
cecf cnc L|incec Iheir :ighI. (Qur`n 47: 22-23)
268
268 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/20, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb thawab silah al-ram wa ithm man qataaha.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
87
Many vt oI the Qur`n reiterate and aIIirm the position oI arm in Islm, encouraging people to
uphold the ties oI kinship and instilling a strong sense oI the importance oI recognizing kinship rights and
avoiding neglect oI those rights, and warning against abuse oI them. One oI these vt is:
Fecr /||h, Ihrcugh Whcm ycu cemcnc ycur muIuc| |righI:], cnc |reverence] Ihe wcmL: |IhcI Lcre
ycu]. (Qur`n 4: 1)
This vah commands man to Iear Allh (,) Iirst and Ioremost, then places respect Ior arm second to
that oI taqw in order to emphasize its importance.
Eor the true Muslim, the Iact that ram is oIten mentioned in conjunction with belieI in Allh (,) and
good treatment oI parents, is enough to conIirm its status and importance:
Ycur Fccc hc: cecreec IhcI ycu wcr:hip ncne LuI Him, cnc IhcI ycu Le kinc Ic pcrenI:.
(Qur`n 17: 23)
/nc rencer Ic Ihe kincrec Iheir cue righI:, c: |c|:c] Ic Ihc:e in wcnI, cnc Ic Ihe wcyfcrer: LuI
:ucncer ncI |ycur wec|Ih] in Ihe mcnner cf c :pencIhrifI. (Qur`n 17: 26)
Wcr:hip /||h, cnc jcin ncI cny pcrIner: wiIh Him: cnc cc gccc - Ic pcrenI:, kin:fc|k, crphcn:, Ihc:e
in neec. NeighLcur: whc cre necr, neighLcur: whc cre :Ircnger:, Ihe ccmpcnicn Ly ycur :ice, Ihe
wcyfcrer |ycu meeI]. (Qur`n 4: 36)
Hence kind treatment oI relatives comes one degree below kind treatment oI parents on the
scale oI human relationships as deIined by the Qur`n; Irom there, kindness and respect
extends to encompass all those needy members oI the greater human Iamily. This suits human
nature, which is more inclined to start with kind treatment oI those who are closer; it is also in
harmony with the overall Islmic system oI social organization and mutual responsibility
which starts with the Iamily then is readily extended Iirst to relatives and then to society at
large, in a spirit oI mercy and Iriendship which makes liIe more pleasant and beautiIul Ior
mankind.
Uphc|cing Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip i: cne cf Ihe mcjcr princip|e: cf l:| m, cne cf Ihe funccmenIc|: IhcI Ihi:
re|igicn hc: prcmcIec frcm Ihe fir:I ccy Ihe FrcpheI { 7) Legcn Ic precch hi: me::cge. lI i: cne cf Ihe
mc:I chcrccIeri:Iic fecIure: cf l:| mic |cw. When Ihe empercr c:kec /L Sufyn, WhcI cce: ycur
FrcpheI crcer ycu Ic cc?" he cn:werec, He Ie||: u:: 'Wcr:hip /|| h {,) c|cne cnc cc ncI c::ccicIe
cnyIhing wiIh Him. Give up Ihe re|igicn cf ycur fcrefcIher:. He Ie||: u: Ic prcy, Ic give chcriIy, Ic Le
chc:Ie cnc Ic uphc|c Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip." 269
Upholding the ties oI kinship is counted as one oI the major characteristics oI this religion, along with
pure monotheistic belieI in Allh (,), establishing prayer, and adherence to truthIulness and chastity,
which were being explained to those questioners Ior the very Iirst time.
In the lengthy adth oI Amr ibn Anbasah (W), which includes many oI the basic teachings
oI Islm, he said:
l enIerec upcn Ihe FrcpheI {7) in Mckkch {mecning cI Ihe Leginning cf hi: FrcpheIhccc), cnc c:kec
him, 'WhcI cre ycu? He :cic, '/ FrcpheI. lc:kec, 'WhcI i: c FrcpheI? He :cic, '/|| h {,) hc: :enI me. l
c:kec, 'WiIh whcI hc: He :enI ycu? He :cic, 'He hc: :enI me Ic uphc|c Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip, Ic Lreck Ihe
icc|: cnc Ic Iecch IhcI /||h {,) i: Cne cnc hc: nc pcrIner whcI:cever." 270
In this summary oI the most important principles oI Islm, the Prophet (7) clearly gave precedence
to upholding the ties oI kinship and mentioned this among the Ioremost Ieatures oI the Iaith. This is
indicative oI its high status in the Iramework oI this religion which Allh (,) has revealed as a mercy to
the Worlds.
The sources oI Islm go to great lengths to encourage upholding the ties oI kinship, and
warn against cutting them oII. Ab Ayyb al-Anr (W) said:
269 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 51, Bb al-idq.
270 6a Muslim, 6/115, Kitb alt al-musafirn, bb al-awqt allati nuhiva an al-alt fiha.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
88
A mun suId, 'O Messenger oI AIII (7), LeII me oI u good deed LIuL wIII grunL me enLrunce Lo
PurudIse.` TIe PropIeL (7) suId: 'WorsIIp AIII (,) und do noL ussocIuLe unyLIIng wILI HIm,
esLubIIsI reguIur pruyer, puy ]DNK, und upIoId LIe LIes oI kInsIIp.`271
How great is the tie oI kinship, and how heavily will it weigh in the balance oI a person`s deeds (on the
Day oI Judgement)! Eor it appears in the same context as worshipping Allh (,), believing in His
absolute unity, establishing regular prayer and paying :akh. Hence it is one oI the best oI righteous deeds
that will guarantee Paradise and save one Irom Hell. Anas (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, 'Whcever wcu|c |ike hi: |zq {prcvi:icn) Ic Le increc:ec cnc hi: |ife Ic Le
exIencec, :hcu|c uphc|c Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip." 272
So it is a blessing Ior the one who upholds the ties oI kinship, a blessing which aIIects both his ri:q
and his liIe: his wealth will increase and he will live a longer and more blessed liIe.
lLn 'Umcr u:ec Ic :cy: Whcever fecr: hi: Lcrc cnc uphc|c: Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip, hi: |ife wi|| Le exIencec, hi:
wec|Ih wi|| increc:e cnc hi: fcmi|y wi|| |cve him mcre."273
The Muslim woman does not Iorget that upholding the ties oI kinship is a duty required oI
women just as it is required oI men, and that the words concerning it are addressed to every
Muslim, whether man or woman, as is the case with all the general duties oI Islm. So the
Muslim woman upholds the ties oI kinship sincerely and earnestly, and does not let her busy
liIe oI responsibilities distract her Irom doing so.
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI her religion realizes that upholding the ties oI
kinship brings blessing in a woman`s ri:q and in her liIe, mercy Irom Allh (,) in this world and the
next, and makes people love her and praise her. In contrast, breaking those ties will spell disaster and
misery Ior her, earning her the dislike oI Allh (,) and the people, and keeping her Iar Irom Paradise in
the HereaIter. It is misery and deprivation enough Ior such a woman to hear the words oI the Prophet
(7): Ihe per:cn whc Lreck: Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip wi|| never enIer Fcrcci:e."274
It is suIIicient to know that the mercy oI Allh (,) will be denied to the one who breaks the ties oI
kinship; moreover, it will be denied to others in a group among whom is a person who breaks the ties oI
kinship, as in the adth reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad 275:
Mercy wi|| ncI ce:cenc upcn c pecp|e cmcng whcm i: cne whc Lreck: Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip."
Hence Ihe grecI 6cc /L Hurcyrch {W) never |ikec Ic mcke :upp|iccIicn Ic /|| h {,) in c gcIhering in
which c per:cn whc hcc Lrcken Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip wc: pre:enI, Leccu:e IhcI wcu|c prevenI mercy frcm
ce:cencing cnc Ihe cu'' frcm Leing cn:werec. ln cne Ihur:ccy nighI gcIhering, he :cic: l urge
everycne whc hc: Lrcken Ihe Iie: cf kin:hi p Ic geI up cnc |ecve u:." Nc-cne gcI up unIi| he hcc :cic Ihi:
Ihree Iime:. Ihen c ycung mcn gcI up cnc wenI Ic :ee c {pcIernc|) cunI cf hi: whcm he hcc fcr:cken
fcr Iwc yecr:. When he enIerec, :he :cic, C :cn cf my LrcIher, whcI Lring: ycu here?" He :ci c, l hecrc
/L Hurcyrch :cy :uch-cnc-:uch." She Ic|c him, Gc Lcck Ic him cnc c:k him why he :cic IhcI." {/L
Hurcyrch) :cic: l hecrc Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cy: 'Ihe ceec: cf Ihe :cn: cf bccm cre :hcwn Ic /||h {,)
every Ihur:ccy evening Lefcre Jcnc'cn, cnc Ihe ceec: cf Ihe cne whc Lreck: Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip cre ncI
cccepIec." 276
The sensitive Muslim woman who is hoping to earn the pleasure oI her Lord and attain salvation in the
HereaIter will be deeply shaken by the news given in these texts, that breaking the ties oI kinship will
cause mercy to be withheld Irom her and her du not to be answered. It will be a source oI great misery
to her to be in such a position, to do deeds, which are oI no avail, to seek the mercy oI her Rabb and not
receive it. It is unimaginable that a true Muslim woman would ever break the ties oI kinship.
271 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 195, bb birr l-wlidavn wa silah al-arm.
272 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/19, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb thawab silah al-ram.
273 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/140, Bb man wasala ramahu ahabbahu Allh.
274 (Bukhari and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/26, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb thawab silah al-rahm wa ithm man qataaha.
275 Al-Adab al-Mufrad 1/144, bb la tan:il al-ramah ala qawm fihim qati ram.
276 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/142, Bb birr al-aqrab fal-aqrab.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
89
Breaking the ties oI kinship is a sin which the Muslim woman whose heart is Iilled with true guidance
and the desire to obey Allh (,) and earn His pleasure would never commit, because it is one oI the sins
that Allh (,) has said will bring punishment; indeed, it is one oI the Ioremost sins Ior which Allh (,)
will punish the one who is guilty oI them both in this world and the next, as is stated in the adth:
Ihere i: nc wcr:e :in fcr which /||h {,) wi|| hc:Ien Ihe puni:hmenI cf cne whc ccmmiI: iI in Ihi: wcr|c - in
ccciIicn Ic whcI cwciI: him in Ihe HerecfIer - Ihcn cppre::ing cIher: cnc Lrecking Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip."
277
The acts oI oppressing others and breaking the ties oI kinship are very much like one another, so the
Prophet (7) mentioned them together in this adth. Eor breaking the ties oI kinship is a kind oI dhulm
(wrongdoing, oppression), and what dhulm can be worse than breaking oII relations with one`s own kin
and destroying the ties oI love and aIIection?
The Prophet (7) described the oppression that beIalls the ties oI kinship when they are cut
oII:
Ihe Iie cf kin:hip {cn) i: c c|c:e-kniI re|cIicn:hip IhcI ccme: frcm /|| h {,), Ihe Mc:I Mercifu| {A-
Fcnn).278 lI :cy:: 'C my Fccc, l hcve Leen cppre::ec, C my Fccc, l hcve Leen cuI cff. He cn:wer:,
'Wi|| ycu ncI Le ccnIenI if l cuI cff Ihe cne whc cuI: ycu cff cnc Icke ccre cf Ihe cne whc Icke: ccre cf
ycu?" 279
Allh (,) raised the status oI the tie oI kinship and honoured it by deriving its name, ram, Irom one
oI His own names, Ar-Ramn. Eor He said (in a adth quds):
l cm A-Fcnn {Ihe Mc:I Mercifu|) cnc l hcve crecIec cn cnc cerivec iI: ncme frcm My ncme.
Whcever Icke: ccre cf iI, l wi|| Icke ccre cf him, cnc whcever cuI: iI cff, l wi|| fcr:cke him." 280
These texts clearly conIirm that the one who upholds the ties oI kinship will be happy, loved
and honoured and will enjoy the cool shade oI his Rabbs mercy; The one who breaks those
ties will be denied that shade, and will be Iorsaken and abandoned, denied the mercy,
Iorgiveness and pleasure oI his Rabb.
The Muslim Womun Lpholds the Ties oI Kinship According to the Teuchings oI
Islm
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by the teachings oI her religion does not neglect to
uphold the ties oI kinship, and never lets the responsibilities oI motherhood or the burden oI
caring Ior her house and husband distract her Irom always upholding these ties. So she
organizes her time so that she may visit her relatives, Iollowing Islmic teaching, which
regulates these relationships and ranks them in order oI priority and degree oI closeness,
starting with the mother, then moving on to the Iather, then other relatives, Irom the most
closely-related to others who are more distantly related.
/ mcn ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc c:kec, C Me::enger cf /||h {7), whc i: mc:I ce:erving cf my
gccc ccmpcny?" He :cic, Ycur mcIher, Ihen ycur mcIher, Ihen ycur mcIher, Ihen ycur fcIher, Ihen
Ihc:e whc cre mc:I c|c:e|y re|cIec Ic ycu." 281
The Muslim woman earns two rewards when she treats her relatives with kindness and respect: one
reward Ior maintaining the relationship, and another reward Ior giving charity, iI she is rich and can spend
money on them. This gives her a greater incentive to give to her relatives, iI they are in need. By doing so,
she will earn two rewards Irom Allh (,), and will also win the aIIection oI her relatives. This is what the
277 Reported by Amad, 5/38, and Ibn Mjah, 2/37, Kitb al-:uhd, bb al-baghv. Its isnd is a.
278 The connection is clearer in Arabic, as ram and Ar-Ramn are derived Irom the same root. |Translator|
279 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/146, Bb ithm qati al-ram.
280 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/132, Bb fadl silat al-ram.
281 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 189, Bb birr al-wlidavn wa silat al-ram.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
90
Prophet (7) encouraged Muslims to do, in the adth narrated by Zaynab al-ThaqaIiyyah, the wiIe oI
Abdullh ibn Masd (W), who said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'C wcmen, give in chcriIy even if iI i: :cme cf ycur jewe||ery. She :cic, l wenI
Lcck Ic '/Lcu||h iLn Mc:'c cnc Ic|c him, 'Ycu cre c mcn cf |iII|e wec|Ih, cnc Ihe FrcpheI { 7) hc:
ccmmcncec u: Ic give chcriIy, :c gc cnc c:k him wheIher iI i: permi::iL|e fcr me Ic give ycu chcriIy. lf iI
i:, l wi|| cc :c: if ncI, l wi|| give chcriIy Ic :cmecne e|:e. '/Lcu|| h :cic, 'Nc, ycu gc cnc c:k. Sc l wenI,
cnc l fcunc c wcmcn cf Ihe An cI Ihe FrcpheI: cccr, whc c|:c hcc Ihe :cme ue:Iicn. We fe|I Icc
:hy Ic gc in, cuI cf re:pecI, :c 8i| | ccme cuI cnc we c:kec him, 'Gc cnc Ie|| Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7)
IhcI Ihere cre Iwc wcmen cI Ihe cccr c:king: l: iI permi::iL|e fcr Ihem Ic give cccqcn Ic Iheir hu:Lcnc:
cnc Ihe crphcn: in Iheir ccre? 8uI cc ncI Ie|| him whc we cre. Sc 8i| | wenI in cnc ccnveyec Ihi:
me::cge Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7), whc c:kec, 'Whc cre Ihey? 8i| | :cic, 'Cne cf Ihe wcmen cf Ihe An, cnc
ZcyncL. Ihe FrcpheI {7) c:kec, 'Which ZcyncL i: iI? 8i|| :cic, 'Ihe wife cf '/Lcu||h. Ihe FrcpheI {7)
:cic, 'Ihey wi|| hcve Iwc rewcrc:, Ihe rewcrc fcr uphc|cing Ihe re|cIicn:hip, cnc Ihe rewcrc fcr giving
chcriIy." 282
The Prophet (7) said:
ChcriIy given Ic c pccr per:cn i: chcriIy, cnc chcriIy given Ic c re|cIive ecrn: Iwc rewcrc:: cne fcr
giving chcriIy cnc cne fcr uphc|cing Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip."283
The Prophet (7) used to reaIIirm the priority given to kind treatment oI relatives at every
opportunity. When the vah 8y nc mecn: :hc|| ycu cIIcin righIecu:ne:: un|e:: ycu give |free|y] cf
IhcI which ycu |cve. (Qur`n 3: 92) was revealed, Ab alah went to the Prophet (7) and said: 'O
Messenger oI Allh (7), Allh (,) says: '8y nc mecn: :hc|| ycu cIIcin righIecu:ne:: un|e:: ycu
give |free|y] cf IhcI which ycu |cve.`. The most beloved oI my properties is Bayrah (a date orchard),
which I now give up as adaqah to Allh (,), hoping to store up reward with Him. O Messenger oI Allh
(7), dispose oI it as you will. The Prophet (7) said: 8rcvcl Ycu hcve gcI Ihe Le:I cec| fcr ycur
prcperIy. l hcve hecrc whcI ycu :cic, cnc l Ihink IhcI ycu :hcu|c civice iI cmcng ycur re|cIive:." /L
c|ch {W) :cic, l wi|| cc :c, C Me::enger cf /|| h {7)." He civicec iI cmcng hi: re|cIive: cnc {pcIernc|)
ccu:in:.284
The Prophet (7) looked Iar back into history and evoked ties oI kinship going back
centuries, when he enjoined good treatment oI the people oI Egypt, as is recorded in the adth
narrated by Muslim:
Ycu wi|| ccnuer EgypI, which i: kncwn c: Ihe |cnc cf A'-q|t {i.e. where ccin: cre minIec) :c when ycu
ccnuer iI, IrecI iI: pecp|e we||, fcr Ihey hcve prcIecIicn { cn|nncn) cnc Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip {cn)." Cr he
:cic: .prcIecIicn cnc Ihe re|cIicn:hip Ly mcrricge { :|)." 285
The ulam explained that ram here reIerred to Hajar, the mother oI Isml, and sir reIerred to
Maryah, the mother oI the Prophet`s son Ibrhm - both oI whom came Irom Egypt.
What a display oI loyalty, IaithIulness and good treatment, which extends to the kinsIolk
and countrymen oI those two noble women down throughout the ages! The Muslim woman
who hears these wise teachings oI the Prophet (7) cannot but uphold her ties with her
relatives, oIIering them her sincere love, keeping in constant contact with them and treating
them with kindness and respect.
She Muintuins the Ties oI Kinship Lven iI her Relutives ure not Muslim
When the Muslim woman looks into the guidance oI Islm, she sees that it reaches new
heights oI gentleness and humanity by enjoining its Iollowers to uphold the ties oI kinship even
iI one`s relatives Iollow a religion other than Islm. Abdullh ibn Amr ibn al-b (W) said:
282 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/187, Kitb al-:akh, Bb fadl al-adaqah alal-awld wal-aqrib.
283 Reported by At-Tirmidh, 2/84, Abwb al-:akh, 26; he said it is a asan adth.
284 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/189, Kitb al-:akh, bb fadl al-adaqah ala al-aqrib.
285 6a Muslim, 16/97, Kitb fadil al-6abah, bb wasivvah al-Nabi bi ahl misr.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
91
l hecrc Ihe FrcpheI {7) cpen|y :cying: 'Ihe fcmi|y cf /L :c-cnc-:c cre ncI my frienc:, fcr my frienc:
cre /||h {,) cnc Ihe righIecu: Le|iever:. 8uI Ihey hcve Iie: cf kin:hip wiIh me, which l wi|| reccgnize cnc
uphc|c." 286
When the vah /nc ccmcni:h ycur necre:I kin:men (Qur`n 26: 214) was revealed, the Prophet
(7) summoned Quraysh. They gathered and he addressed them both in general and speciIic terms: 'O
Ban Kab ibn Lu`ayy, save yourselves Irom the Eire. O Ban Murrah ibn Kab, save yourselves Irom the
Eire. O Ban Abdu Shams, save yourselves Irom the Eire. O Ban Abdu ManI, save yourselves Irom
the Eire. O Ban Hshim, save yourselves Irom the Eire. O Ban Abdul Mualib, save yourselves Irom
the Eire. O Eimah, save yourselI Irom the Eire. I cannot do anything to protect you Irom the punishment
oI Allh (,), but there are ties oI kinship between us that I will recognize and uphold.287
The Prophet`s teachings reached the hearts oI the Iirst Muslim men and women, and had an eIIect
upon them, so that they were kind to their non-Muslim relatives. Evidence oI this may be seen in the
report given by Ibn Abdul-Barr in Al-Istiab and by Ibn Hajar in Al-Isaba, which describes how a
Iemale maid oI Umm al-Muminn 6aIiyyah came to the khalfah Umar ibn al-Khab (W) and said, 'O
Amr al-Muminn, 6aIiyyah loves the Sabbath (Saturday) and treats the Jews well. Umar sent Ior
6aIiyyah and questioned her about that. She replied: 'As Iar as the Sabbath is concerned, I have not loved
it since Allh (,) replaced it with Jamaah (Eriday) Ior me. As Ior the Jews, I have relatives among them
with whom I uphold the ties oI kinship. Then she turned to her maid and asked her what had made her
tell such a lie. The slave woman answered, 'Shavn.` 6aIiyyah`s response was to tell her: 'Go, you are
Iree.288
'Umcr {W) cic ncI :ee cnyIhing wrcng wiIh giving c gcrmenI IhcI Ihe FrcpheI { 7) hcc :enI him Ic hi:
hc|f-LrcIher {Ihrcugh hi: mcIher), whc wc: c nu:n|k. 289
Hence the Muslim woman sees that the spring oI human emotion does not dry up when a person utters
the Shahadah, but rather his or her heart overIlows with love and good treatment towards his or her
relatives, even iI they are not Muslim. The expression oI the Prophet (7), 'but there are ties oI kinship
between us which I will recognize and uphold (literally moisten`) is an example oI Arabic eloquence, a
metaphor in which the kinship tie (ram) is likened to the earth, and is 'irrigated by upholding it, so that
it bears Iruits oI love and purity; iI it is cut oII, it becomes barren and produces only hatred and animosity.
The true Muslim is on good terms with everyone and is liked by everyone, as they see good
characteristics embodied in him.
Islm encourages us to treat our parents with kindness and respect, even iI they are mushrikn, and here
we see how it encourages us to treat our relatives equally well, even iI they are not Muslims either, based
on the gentleness, humanity and mercy which this religion brings to the whole oI mankind:
We :enI ycu ncI, LuI c: c Mercy fcr c|| crecIure:. (Qur`n 21: 107)
She Iully Lnderstunds the Meuning oI Lpholding the Tie oI Kinship
Eor the Muslim woman, the tie oI kinship is multi-Iaceted. Sometimes it may involve
spending money to ward oII poverty and relieve hardship; at other times it may mean making
visits to strengthen the ties oI love; or speaking and smiling kindly and oIIering a warm
welcome; or giving advice, showing compassion or making a selIless gesture. i.e., acts oI
goodness which will awaken and increase human Ieelings oI love, compassion and mutual
support between those who are related to one another.
Hence the Prophet (7) urged Muslims to uphold the ties oI kinship even in the simplest oI
ways:
McinIcin ycur Iie: cf kin:hip even if iI i: mere|y wiIh c greeIing {i.e., :cying A'-:c'n 'c'cykun)." 290
286 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/29, Kitb al-birr wal-silat, bb thawab silat al-ram.
287 6a Muslim, 3/79, Kitb al-mn, bb man mata alal-kufr la talhaquhu al-shafaah.
288 Ibn Abdul-Barr, Al-Istiab, 4/1872; Ibn Hajar, Al-Isabah, 8/127.
289 Fat al-Br, 10/414, Kitb al-adab, bb silat al-akh al-mushrik.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
92
She Muintuins the Ties oI Kinship Lven iI Her Relutives Iuil To o So
The Muslim woman whose soul is inIused with the true teachings oI this religion upholds
the ties oI kinship and does not break them. She does not treat like with like, upholding the tie
iI her relatives uphold it and breaking it iI they break it. The Muslim woman is one who always
upholds the ties oI kinship, because by doing so she is seeking the pleasure and reward oI
Allh (,), not equal treatment in return. In this way she sets the highest example oI that
reIined human behaviour which Islm is always keen to instil in the souls oI Muslim men and
women. It is, in Iact, a most diIIicult level to achieve, except Ior those whom Allh (,) has
guided and who have devoted themselves to seeking His pleasure. The Muslim woman who is
truly guided by the teachings oI her religion is among this noble group oI women who are
eager to treat their relatives well in accordance with the teachings oI the Prophet (7):
Ihe cne whc mcinIcin: c re|cIicn:hip wiIh hi: re|cIive: cn|y Leccu:e Ihey mcinIcin c re|cIicn:hip wiIh
him i: ncI Iru|y uphc|cing IheIie: cf kin:hip. Ihe cne whc Iru|y uphc|c: Ihc:e Iie: i: Ihe cne whc cce: :c
even if Ihey Lreck cff Ihe re|cIicn:hip." 291
This is the reIined human attitude to which Islm wants all Muslim men and women to aspire in their
dealings with their relatives. Hence the Prophet (7) reinIorced the attributes oI kindness, patience and
tolerance in the Muslims, especially in the case oI the one who upholds the ties oI kinship and receives
nothing in return but harshness, mistreatment and cruelty. He (7) stated that Allh (,) is with the one
who upholds the ties oI kinship and does not receive similar treatment in return, and he drew a Irightening
picture oI the punishment that awaits the hard-hearted person who harshly denies and breaks the ties oI
kinship.
/ mcn ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc :cic, C Me::enger cf /||h {7), l hcve re|cIive: wiIh whcm l Iry Ic
keep in Icuch, LuI Ihey cuI me cff. l IrecI Ihem we||, LuI Ihey cLu:e me: l cm pcIienI cnc kinc Icwcrc:
Ihem, LuI Ihey in:u|I me." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: lf ycu cre c: ycu :cy, Ihen iI i: c: if ycu cre puIIing hcI
cu:I in Iheir mcuIh:. /||h {,) wi|| ccnIinue Ic :uppcrI ycu c: |cng c: ycu ccnIinue Ic cc IhcI."292
How important is the tie oI kinship, and how heavily will it weigh in the balance oI the
believer! How unIortunate are those who neglect it and cut oII the ties oI love and kinship!
How great will be the reward oI the woman who upholds the ties oI kinship and bears her
relatives` harshness with patience, so that Allh (,) HimselI will support her against them,
Iilling her heart with patience when they treat her badly and helping her to persevere in her
noble attitude. How great is the sin oI those men and women who break the ties oI kinship, so
that the Prophet (7) likened such a person to one who eats hot dust as a punishment Ior
breaking the ties oI kinship when others are seeking to maintain it.
The true Muslim woman is one who upholds the ties of kinship no matter what the
circumstances; she does not cut them off even if they cut her off. Thus she seeks the pleasure
of her #,--, rising above the petty issues that may arise between relatives from time to time,
and avoiding the insignificant matters that occupy the minds of lesser people and fill their hearts
with hatred. She believes that she is above going down to the level of insignificant, foolish
issues that cancel out good deeds and affect the purity of the kinship tie. lt never occurs to her
to sink to such a level when she listens to the words of the Prophet (7):
Ihe Iie cf kin:hip {cn) i: :u:pencec frcm Ihe Ihrcne cf /||h {,), cnc :cy:, 'Whcever :uppcrI: me, /|| h
{,) wi|| :uppcrI him, cnc whcever cuI: me cff, /|| h {,) wi|| cuI him cff." 293
290 Reported by Al-Bazzr Irom Ibn Abbs, as stated by Al-paytham in Kashf al-astr, 2/373; its isnds strengthen one another, as stated by
Al-Sakhw in Al-maqsid al-asanah, 146.
291 Fat al-Br, 10/423, Kitb al-adab, bb lavsa al-wasil bil-mukf.
292 6a Muslim, 16/115, Kitb al-birr wal-silat wal-adab, bb tarm al-tahasud wal-tabaghud.
293 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 191, Bb birr al-wlidavn wa silat al-aram.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
93
CHAPTER 8
The Muslim Woman And Her Neighbours
The Muslim Womun is Kind und Iriendly Towurds her Neighbours
One oI the attributes oI the Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI her religion is that she
treats her neighbours well and respects them.
She Adheres to the Islmic Teuchings Regurding Good Treutment oI Neighbours
The true Muslim woman understands the teachings oI Islm which strongly urge good treatment oI
neighbours and gives the neighbour such a high status in the scale oI human relationships, such as has
never been equalled in any other religion or system beIore or since.
Allh (,) has clearly commanded the good treatment oI neighbours in the Qur`n:
Worsh|p A||h, ond jo|n not ony portners w|th H|m; ond do good - to porents, k|ns|o|k, orphons,
those |n need, ne|ghbours who ore neor, ne|ghbours who ore strongers, the compon|on by your
s|de, the woy|orer [you meet], ond whot your r|ght honds possess. (Qur`n 4: 36)
The 'neighbour who is near is one with whom one shares ties oI kinship or religion; the 'neighbour
who is a stranger is one with whom one shares no such ties; and the 'companion by your side is a Iriend,
colleague or travelling-companion.
Everyone whose home neighbours yours has the rights oI a neighbour over you, even iI you are not
connected by kinship or religion. This honouring oI the neighbour is an example oI the tolerance
promoted by Islm.
There are many adths oI the Prophet (7) which enjoin good treatment oI neighbours in general,
regardless oI kinship or religious Iactors, and conIirm the importance oI the neighbourly relationship in
Islm. Eor example:
JiLr| kepI cn enjcining Ihe gccc IrecImenI cf neighLcur: Ic :uch cn exIenI IhcI l IhcughI he wcu|c inc|uce
neighLcur: c: heir:."
294
Islm gives such a high status to neighbours that when Jibrl reiterated the importance oI treating them
well, the Prophet (7) thought that he would raise neighbours to the level oI kinship and give them
similar rights oI inheritance.
The Prophet (7) Iollowed Jibrl`s urging, and encouraged Muslims to honour neighbours and treat
them well. In his historical khutbah (sermon) during the Earewell Pilgrimage, in which he summarized
the most important points oI his teachings, he did not omit to mention neighbours and emphasized their
rights to such an extent that the eminent 6ab Ab Umamah also thought that the Prophet (7) would
make neighbours heirs:
l hecrc Ihe FrcpheI {7), when he wc: :ecIec cn hi: :he-ccme| curing Ihe Fcrewe|| Fi|grimcge, :cying, 'l
enjcin ycu Ic IrecI ycur neighLcur: we||, cnc urging Iheir gccc IrecImenI :c much IhcI l IhcughI, he i:
gcing Ic give Ihem Ihe righI: cf inheriIcnce."
295
The Prophet (7) sometimes used to stir up the emotions oI the 6abah when he encouraged them to
do good deeds, so he would start by saying, Whcever Le|ieve: in /||h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy, |eI him cc
:uch-cnc-:uch." He would use this emotive phrase to command or encourage some good deed or
desirable characteristic. One oI the adths that use this method oI conveying a message is:
Whcever Le|ieve: in /||h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy, |eI him IrecI hi: neighLcur we||: whcever Le|ieve: in /|| h
{,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy, |eI him hcncur hi: gue:I: whcever Le|ieve: in /|| h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy, |eI him
:peck gccc cr e|:e remcin :i|enI."
296
294
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/71, Kitb al-birr wal-silat, bb aqq al-fr.
295
Reported by A-abarn with a Javvid isnd. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/165.
296
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 185, Bb fi aqq al-fr wal-wasivvah bihi.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
94
According to a report given by Bukhr, he (7) said: Whcever Le|ieve: in /||h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy,
|eI him ncI hcrm cr cnncy hi: neighLcur . . ."
297
Good treatment oI neighbours is enjoined at the beginning oI the adth, and is identiIied as one oI the
signs and most beneIicial results oI belieI in Allh (,) and the Last Day.
She Likes Ior her Neighbours Whut she Likes Ior HerselI
The Muslim woman who is truly open to the teachings oI her religion is soIt-hearted, easy-going and
tolerant. She is loving towards her neighbours, sensitive to everything that could disturb, annoy or oIIend
them. She wishes them well, just as she wishes herselI well, and she shares their joys and sorrows, in
accordance with the teachings oI the Prophet (7): Ncne cf ycu Iru|y Le|ieve: unIi| he |ike: fcr hi: LrcIher
whcI he |ike: fcr him:e|f."
298
According to a report given by Muslim Irom Anas (W), the Prophet (7) said:
8y Ihe Cne in Whc:e hcnc i: my :cu|, nc :ervcnI Iru|y Le|ieve: unIi| he |ike: fcr hi: neighLcur {cr he :cic:
hi: LrcIher) whcI he |ike: fcr him:e|f."
299
The true Muslim woman does not Iail to think oI her neighbours who may be Iaced with diIIiculties
Irom time to time, so she gives them giIts occasionally. She recognizes that they may be aIIected by the
smell oI cooking or barbecues emanating Irom her house, and she understands their desire Ior delicious
Iood which they may not be able to aIIord, so she sends some oI it to them, thereby IulIilling the spirit oI
social responsibility which the Prophet (7) encouraged in his words to Ab Dharr: C /L Dhcrr, if ycu
ccck :cme LrcIh, ccc exIrc wcIer Ic iI, cnc Icke ccre cf ycur neighLcur."
300
According to another report, he (7) said:
lf ycu ccck :cme LrcIh, ccc exIrc wcIer Ic iI, Ihen Ihink cf Ihe fcmi|ie: in ycur neighLcurhccc cnc :enc
:cme cf iI Ic Ihem."
301
The Muslim woman`s conscience will not let her ignore her neighbour`s poverty and diIIiculty without
making the eIIort to do good and oIIer some generous giIts oI Iood and other things, especially iI she is
well-oII and living a liIe oI ease, enjoying the bounties that Allh (,) has bestowed upon her. How can
she do otherwise, when the words oI the Prophet (7) are ringing in her ears?
He cce: ncI Le|ieve in me, whc ecI: hi: fi|| whi|e hi: neighLcur Le:ice him i: hungry, cnc he kncw: cLcuI
iI."
302
He i: ncI c Le|iever, whc ecI: hi: fi|| whi|e hi: neighLcur i: hungry."
303
She Treuts her Neighbour in the Best Wuy Thut She Cun
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI her religion never thinks that any Iavour is
too small to be worth doing Ior her neighbour; she does whatever Iavours she can Ior her, no matter how
insigniIicant they may appear. She does not let shyness or her desire to show oII prevent her Irom doing
the little that she can aIIord, or make her withhold it on the basis that that it is not good enough, so that
she waits until she is able to oIIer more. Such an attitude deprives both her and her neighbour oI much
good, because by waiting Ior some hoped-Ior bounty that may never arrive, she wastes the opportunity to
do good. The Prophet (7) drew the attention oI women in particular to the importance oI even the
smallest giIts and Iavours between neighbours: C Mu:|im wcmen, cc ncI Ihink IhcI cny gifI i: Icc
in:ignificcnI Ic give Ic c neighLcur, even if iI i: cn|y c :heep: fccI."
304
297
Fat al-Br, 10/445, Kitb al-adab, bb man kana vumin bi-Allh wal-vawm al-akhir fala vudh frahu.
298
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/60, Kitb al-birr wal-silat, bb aq al-f.r.
299
6a Muslim, 2/18, Kitb al-mn, bb min khidal al-man an tuhibb li akhika ma tuhibbu li nafsika.
300
6a Muslim, 2/188, Kitb al-adab, bb al-wasivah bil-fr wal-ihsan ilavhi.
301
6a Muslim, 2/188, Kitb al-adab, bb al-wasivah bil-fr wal-isan ilavhi.
302
Reported by A-abarn and Al-Bazzr with a asan isnd. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 8/167.
303
Reported by A-abarn and Ab Yal; its narrators are thiqt. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 8/167.
304
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/141, Kitb al-:akt, bb al-tasadduq bil-shav al-vasir.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
95
A sheep`s Ioot is a thing oI little value, but it is better than nothing, and no woman should Ieel that any
giIt is not worth giving to a neighbour. Allh (,) says: Ihen :hc|| cnycne whc hc: ccne cn cIcm:-
weighI cf gccc, :ee iIl" (Qur`n 99: 7)
And the Prophet (7) said:
Scve ycur:e|f frcm Ihe Fire even Ly giving hc|f c ccIe in chcr iIy, cnc if ycu cc ncI finc {hc|f c ccIe), Ihen Ly
:cying c gccc wcrc."
305
But this adth, which is general in application, may also be taken to mean that the recipient should not
look down on the giIt. The meaning then is: No (Iemale) neighbour should scorn the giIt given to her by
another (Iemale) neighbour, even iI it is just s sheep`s Ioot. Rather, she should thank her Ior it, because
gratitude engenders Iriendship among neighbours and encourages mutual support and help. This is in
addition to the Iact that thanking people Ior Iavours is a basic Islmic trait which the Prophet (7) strongly
encouraged: Ihe cne whc cce: ncI give Ihcnk: Ic pecp|e cce: ncI give Ihcnk: Ic /|| h {,)."
306
Islm wants to spread mutual love and aIIection among neighbours. The ways in which people may
achieve this are many, and include the exchange oI giIts. Hence the Prophet (7) Iorbade women, in
particular, to look down on any giIt that she may give to or receive Irom her neighbour, no matter how
small, because women are very sensitive in such matters and this may aIIect her Ieelings towards her
neighbours. Thus he drew women`s attention to the Iact that what matters is the noble and worthy thought
behind the giIt, not the material value oI the giIt itselI. The Muslim woman should not Iorget this and
think any giIt is too insigniIicant, because in Islm thoughts and intentions are more important than
material values.
She Treuts Her Neighbours Well Lven iI They Are Not Muslim
The true Muslim woman does not restrict her good treatment only to neighbours who are related to her or
who are Muslims, but she extends it to non-Muslim neighbours too, in accordance with the tolerant teachings
oI Islm which encourage kindness towards all people, regardless oI their race oI religion, so long as they do
not commit any acts oI hostility or aggression towards Muslims:
/||h fcrLic: ycu ncI, wiIh regcrc Ic Ihc:e whc fighI ycu ncI fcr |ycur] FciIh ncr crive ycu cuI cf
ycur hcme:, frcm cec|ing kinc|y cnc ju:I|y wiIh Ihem: fcr /||h |cve: Ihc:e whc cre ju:I." (Qur`n
60: 8)
On the basis oI this, the great 6abi Abdullh ibn Amr asked his slave, aIter slaughtering a sheep,
'Did you give some to our Jewish neighbour? Did you give some to our Jewish neighbour? Eor I heard the
Messenger oI Allh (7) saying, 'JiLr| kepI cn enjcining Ihe gccc IrecImenI cf neighLcur: Ic :uch cn
exIenI IhcI l IhcughI he wcu|c inc|uce neighLcur: c: heir:."
307
How great is the mercy oI Islm towards all people, and how kind is its concern towards those who live
under its shade! History bears witness to the Iact that the People oI the Book have lived alongside Muslims
in many regions oI the Islmic world, secure in the knowledge that they, their honour and their wealth were
saIe, enjoying a good neighbourly relationship, good treatment and Ireedom oI worship. Their ancient
churches still exist in Muslim villages clinging to mountaintops, surrounded by thousands oI Muslims who
uphold the well-being oI their Jewish and Christian neighbours.
She Sturts With the Neighbour Whose Home is Closest to Her Own
The true Muslim woman does not Iorget the precise system that Islm set out when it enjoined the
good treatment oI neighbours. Islm has told her to give priority to the one whose house is closest, then
the one who is next closest, and so on. This takes into account the closeness oI the neighbours whose
homes are beside one another, the issues which may Irequently arise between them, and the importance oI
maintaining Iriendship and harmony.
305
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/140, Kitb al-:akt, bb al-tasadduq bi shav al-vasir.
306
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/310, Bb man lam vashkur al-ns.
307
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-sunnah, 13/71, Kitb al-birr wal-silat, bb aqq al-fr.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
96
'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) :cic: C Me::enger cf /||h, l hcve Iwc neighLcur:, :c Ic which
cne :hcu|c l :enc c gifI?" He :cic, Ic Ihe cne whc:e cccr i: c|c:e:I Ic ycur:."
308
This system oI priority in the good treatment oI neighbours does not mean that the Muslim woman
should ignore the neighbours who are Iurther away Irom her home. Everyone around her home is
considered to be a neighbour and thus enjoys the rights oI a neighbour. This system is merely the matter
oI organization, by means oI which the Prophet (7) encouraged taking care oI the closest neighbour
because he or she is the one with whom there is usually ongoing contact and interaction.
The True Muslim Womun is the Best Neighbour
It comes as no surprise that the Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI her religion is
the best oI neighbours, because good treatment oI neighbours is a basic Islamic attitude that is deeply
engrained in the conscience oI the Muslim woman who has been brought up with the teachings oI Islm,
which state that the one who is kindest to her neighbour is the best neighbour in the sight oI Allh (,):
Ihe Le:I cf ccmpcnicn: in Ihe :ighI cf /||ch {,) i: Ihe cne whc i: Le:I Ic hi: ccmpcnicn, cnc Ihe Le:I cf
neighLcur: in Ihe :ighI cf /||h {,) i: Ihe cne whc i: Le:I Ic hi: neighLcur."
309
The Prophet (7) stated that a good neighbour is one oI the joys oI a Muslim`s liIe, because he or she
guarantees comIort, security and saIety:
/mcng Ihe Ihing: IhcI Lring hcppine:: Ic c Mu:|im in Ihi: |ife cre c righIecu: neighLcur, c :pccicu: hcu:e
cnc c gccc :Ieec."
310
The salf appreciated the value oI good neighbours so much that they considered having a good
neighbour to be a precious blessing. One story which reIlects this tells that the neighbour oI Sad ibn al-
A wanted to sell his house Ior 100,000 dirhams, and told the would-be purchaser, 'This is the price oI
the house, but what would you give Ior having Sad as a neighbour? When Sad heard about this, he
sent his neighbour the price oI the house and told him to stay there.
This is the status oI neighbours in Islm, and the attitude and behaviour oI a good Muslim neighbour.
But what about bad neighbours?
Bud Neighbours
Having a bad neighbour is something, which is so appalling that the sensitive Muslim woman cannot
think oI it without shuddering and being Iilled with a sense oI Iear, loathing and dread.
The Bud Neighbour is u Person Who is eprived oI the Blessing oI Iuith
It is suIIicient misery Ior a bad neighbour to know that she is deprived oI the blessing oI Iaith, which is
the greatest blessing in a person`s liIe. The Prophet (7) conIirmed the Iact that this blessing is stripped
away Irom every person who persists in mistreating his or her neighbour to the extent that he or she is
counted as a bad neighbour, and stated in no uncertain terms when he swore by Allh (,) three times that
such a person would be stripped oI the blessing oI Iaith:
8y /||h {,), he cce: ncI Le|ieve. 8y /||h {,), he cce: ncI Le|ieve. 8y /||h {,), he cce: ncI Le|ieve." He
wc: c:kec, Whc, C Me::enger cf /|| h?" He :cic, Ihe cne frcm whc:e evi|: {cr IrcuL|e:) hi: neighLcur
cce: ncI fee| :cfe."
311
According to a report given by Muslim: He wi|| ncI enIer Fcrcci:e whc:e neighLcur i: ncI :cfe frcm hi:
evi| {cr IrcuL|e)."
312
308
Reported by Bukhr in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/198, Bb tahd il aqrabihim bban.
309
Reported with a a isnd by Tirmidh, 3/224, Abwb al-birr wal-silat, bb ma fa fi aqq al-fiwr.
310
Reported with a a isnd by Al-pkim, 4/166, in Kitb al-birr wal-silat.
311
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 185, Bb fi aq al-fr wal-waivah bihi.
312
6a Muslim, 2/18, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn tarm idha al-fr
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
97
How great must be the crime oI the bad neighbour, iI his mistreatment oI his neighbour is depriving
him oI the blessings oI Iaith and denying him entrance to Paradise!
The true Muslim woman who is pure oI heart contemplates the meaning oI these texts and the deep
impression they leave in her mind concerning bad neighbours. It never occurs to her to mistreat her
neighbour, no matter what the circumstances, because mistreating neighbours or becoming involved in
disputes and conspiracies is not a thing to be taken lightly: it is a major sin which destroys Iaith and places
one`s ultimate Iate in jeopardy. This would be the greatest loss, and the mere thought oI it makes the true
Muslim woman tremble.
The Bud Neighbour is u Person Whose Good eeds ure not Accepted
The bad neighbour is a person who has lost her Iaith, as stated in the adth quoted above; she is also a
person whose good deeds are all cancelled, so that Irom now on no act oI obedience or righteousness will
be oI any beneIit to her, so long as she persists in her mistreatment oI her neighbour. Good deeds are
essentially based on Iaith in Allh (,), and Iaith in Allh (,) is not the matter oI mere words: what
counts is the practical implementation oI that which Allh (,) requires oI His servants. II a bad
neighbour has lost her Iaith by persisting in her mistreatment oI her neighbour, then there is no hope that
Allh (,) will accept her good deeds, no matter how great or how many they may be. They will be utterly
wiped out, even iI she spends her nights and days perIorming good deeds.
Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: c:kec: C Me::enger cf /||h, :uch-cnc-:uch c wcmcn :penc: her nighI: in prcyer,
fc:I: curing Ihe ccy, cnc :c cn, cnc :he give: in chcriIy, LuI :he cffenc: her neighLcur: wiIh her :hcrp
Icngue." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: Her gccc ceec: wi|| Le cf nccvci|: :he i: cmcng Ihe pecp|e cf He||."
Ihey :cic, /nc :c-cnc-:c prcy: cn|y Ihe cL|igcIcry prcyer:, give: chcriIy in Ihe fcrm cf |efI -cver curc:,
LuI cce: ncI cffenc cnycne." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: She i: cmcng Ihe pecp|e cf Fcrcci:e."
313
The Prophet (7) described the bad neighbour as being one oI the worst types oI people:
Ihere cre Ihree wcr:I Iype: cf pecp|e: c ru|er whc, if ycu cc we||, cce: ncI cpprecicIe iI, cnc if ycu cc
wrcng, he cce: ncI fcrgive ycu fcr iI: c Lcc neighLcur whc, if he :ee: :cmeIhing gccc, he ccncec|: iI,
cnc if he :ee: :cmeIhing Lcc he Lrccccc:I: iI: cnc c wife whc, when ycu cre pre:enI :he cnncy: ycu
cnc if ycu gc cwcy, :he LeIrcy: ycu."
314
The padth paint such an ugly picture oI the bad neighbour that the true Muslim woman would be so
shaken that she will avoid committing the sin oI mistreating a neighbour and it will be most unlikely that
she will let any dispute or hostility arise between her and her neighbour, or become involved in schemes and
plots. The Prophet`s warning against harming or arguing with neighbours is always echoing in her ears, and
she never Iorgets it any time she Ieels the stirrings oI anger or hostility towards a neighbour:
Ihe fir:I Iwc ci:puIing pcrIie: Ic cppecr Lefcre /|| h {,) cn Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI wi|| Le Iwc
neighLcur:."
315
Her Good Treutment oI Her Neighbour is Lnough
Not only does the Muslim woman reIrain Irom harming or disturbing her neighbour, she also does not
spare any eIIort to help her neighbour, opening wide the doors oI care, Iriendship and generosity. She is
careIul not to Iall short in her duties whenever she is called upon to take care oI her neighbours, and to
honour them and treat them well, lest the words oI the Prophet (7) concerning the miserly, unhelpIul
neighbour become applicable to her:
Hcw mcny pecp|e wi|| Le hcnging cn Ic Iheir neighLcur: cn Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI, :cying: 'C my
Fcccl He :huI hi: cccr in my fcce cnc ceniec me hi: kinc IrecImenI cnc he|pl"
316
What a miserable position the miserly, uncaring neighbour will be in on the Day oI Judgement!
313
Reported by Bukhr in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/210, Bb l vudhi frahu.
314
Reported by A-abarn in Al-Kabr, 18/267; its narrators are thiqt.
315
Reported with a asan isnd by Amad and A-abarn. See Mafma al-Zawaid, 8/170.
316
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/200, Bb man aghlaqa al-bb alal-fr
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
98
According to Islm, the Muslim men and women are like a high wall, whose bricks are the people oI this
ummah. Each brick must be sound, and strongly bonded with the others, to make this wall sturdy and
durable, otherwise it will become weak and prone to collapse. Thus Islm surrounds this wall with strong
spiritual ties, to preserve its integrity and strength, so that it will not be shaken no matter what events beIall
it.
The Prophet (7) gave a marvellous metaphor oI the solidarity and mutual support among Muslim
men and women:
8e|iever: cre |ike c :IrucIure, pcrI: cf which :uppcrI cIher pcrI:."
317
Ihe Le|iever:, in Iheir muIuc| frienc:hip, mercy cnc cffecIicn, cre |ike cne Lccy: if cny pcrI cf iI
ccmp|cin:, Ihe re:I cf Ihe Lccy wi|| c|:c :Icy cwcke in pcin."
318
II a religion places such an amazing emphasis on the solidarity oI its Iollowers, it is natural that it should
strengthen neighbourly ties and base them on a solid Ioundation oI Iriendship, kindness, mutual support and
good treatment.
She Puts up With her Neighbour`s Mistukes und Bud Treutment
The Muslim woman who is guided by her religion is patient with her neighbour and does not get angry
or bear a grudge iI she makes a mistake or has some shortcomings. She is tolerant and Iorgiving towards
her, thus hoping to earn reward Irom Allh (,) and to attain His love and pleasure. This is proven by the
adth oI Ab Dharr: when MutrriI ibn Abdullh met him, he said, 'O Ab Dharr, I heard about what
you said and wanted to meet you. Ab Dharr said, 'Your Iather was a great man! Now you have met
me. MutrriI said: 'I heard that you have said that the Prophet (7) said: Allh (,) loves three and
hates three.` Ab Dharr said, 'I do not think that I would tell lies about the Messenger oI Allh.
MutrriI said, 'Then who are the three whom Allh (,) loves? Ab Dharr |quoting the Prophet (7)|
said: '/ mcn whc fighI: fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,), wiIh per:evercnce cnc hcping fcr rewcrc frcm Him, cnc
fighI: unIi| he i: ki||ec, cnc ycu finc Ihi: in Ihe 8cck cf /||h {,). Then he recited: Iru|y /||h |cve: Ihc:e
whc fighI in Hi: ccu:e in LcII|e crrcy, c: if Ihey were c :c|ic cemenIec :IrucIure." (Al-6aff 61:4)
MutrriI asked, 'Then who? He said,
/ mcn whc hc: c Lcc neighLcur whc cnncy: cnc ci:IurL: him, LuI he Lecr: iI wiIh pcIience cnc
fcrLecrcnce unIi| /||h {,) enc: Ihe mcIIer eiIher curing hi: |ifeIime cr upcn Ihe cecIh cf eiIher cf Ihem."
319
One oI the characteristics oI the Muslim woman whose soul has truly been cleansed and moulded by
Islm is that she patiently bears the annoyances caused by her neighbours, as much as she is able. She
repels their bad treatment with something that is better, and by being patient and behaving properly she
sets the highest example oI good treatment oI one`s neighbours and removes the roots oI evil and hatred
Irom their souls. Even more importantly, she is acting in accordance with the teachings oI the Prophet
(7):
Whcever Le|ieve: in /||h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy, |eI him ncI hcrm cr cnncy hi: neighLcur."
320
Let them hear this, those women who lose their minds when their child Iights with the neighbours`
children so that they turn a blind eye to their own child`s Iaults and insult their neighbours with bad
language and hurtIul accusations, thus destroying the ties oI neighbourliness and Iriendship in a moment oI
anger. Let them know that they are going against all the Islmic teachings regarding the good treatment oI
neighbours and that they are showing themselves to be content to be bad neighbours.
Let those women rejoice who are wise, polite and Iorbearing neighbours, who respond in kind to their
neighbours` good treatment, because they are among the righteous neighbours with whose wise and
rightly-guided conduct Allh (,) is pleased.
317
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/47, Kitb al-birr wal-silat, bb tawun al-mminn wa tarahumuhum.
318
Ibid.
319
Reported with a a isnd by Amad and A-abarn. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/171.
320
Fat al-Br, 10/445, Kitb al-adab, bb man kana vumin bi-Allh wal-vawm al-khir fal vudh frahu.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
99
CHAPTER 9
The Muslim Woman and Her Friends and Sisters in Islm
She Loves Her Iriends us Sisters Ior the Suke oI Allh (,,)
The way in which the true Muslim woman relates to her Iriends and sisters in Islm is diIIerent Irom the
way in which other women conduct their social aIIairs. Her relationship with her sisters is based on Tkh
(brotherhood or sisterhood) Ior the sake oI Allh (,). This love Ior the sake oI Allh (,) is the highest bond
that may exist between one human being and another, whether man or woman. It is the bond oI Iaith in Allh
(,) which Allh (,) established between all believers when He (,) said:
Ihe 8e|iever: cre LuI c :ing|e LrcIherhccc. (Qur`n 49: 10)
The brotherhood oI Iaith is the strongest oI bonds between hearts and minds. It comes as no surprise to
see that Muslim sisters enjoy a strong, enduring relationship that is based on love Ior the sake oI Allh
(,), which is the noblest and purest Iorm oI love between human beings. This is a love, which is
untainted by any worldly interest or ulterior motive. It is the love in which Muslim men and women Iind
the sweetness oI Iaith:
Ihere cre Ihree Ihing: IhcI whcever cIIcin: Ihem wi|| finc Ihe :weeIne:: cf fciIh: if /|| h {,) cnc Hi:
Me::enger cre cecrer Ic him Ihcn cnycne cr cnyIhing e|:e: if he|cve: c per:cn :c|e|y fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h
{,): cnc if he wcu|c hcIe Ic reIurn Ic ku| cfIer /||h {,) hc: re:cuec him frcm iI, c: much c: he wcu|c
hcIe Ic Le Ihrcwn inIc Ihe Fire."
321
The Stutus oI Two Who Love One Another Ior the Suke oI Allh (,,)
Many adths describe the status oI two people who love one another Ior the sake oI Allh (,),
whether they are men or women, and describe the high position in Paradise which Allh (,) has prepared
Ior them and the great honour which He will bestow upon them on the Day when mankind is resurrected
to meet the Rabb oI the Worlds.
lI i: :ufficienI hcncur fcr Ihc:e whc |cve cne cncIher fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,), men cnc wcmen c|ike, Ic
kncw IhcI Iheir c|mighIy Fccc wi|| Icke ccre cf Ihem cn Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI cnc wi|| :cy: Where cre
Ihc:e whc |cvec cne cncIher fcr My g|cry? Icccy l wi|| :hcce Ihem in My :hcce cn Ihe Dcy when Ihere i:
nc :hcce LuI Mine."
322
Such is the magniIicent honour and tremendous reward that will be bestowed upon those who truly
loved one another Ior the sake oI Allh (,), on that awesome Day.
Love Ior the sake oI Allh (,), and not Ior the sake oI anything else in liIe, is very diIIicult, and none
can attain it except the one who is pure oI heart, Ior whom this world and all its pleasures are as nothing in
comparison with the pleasure oI Allh (,). It is not surprising that Allh (,) should give them a status and
blessing which is commensurate with their position in this world, above whose concerns they have risen.
We see prooI oI this in the adth oI Mudh, who said that the Prophet (7) said:
/||h {,) :cic: 'Ihc:e whc |cve cne cncIher fcr My g|cry wi|| hcve n|ncc: cf |ighI, cnc Ihe FrcpheI: cnc
mcrIyr: wi|| wi:h IhcI Ihey hcc Ihe :cme."
323
Allh (,) bestows upon those who love one another Ior His sake a giIt, which is even greater than this
321
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/49, Kitb al-mn, bb halwat al-mn.
322
6a Muslim, 16/123, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adab, bb fadl al-ubb fi Allh.
323
Reported by Tirmidh, 4/24, Bb ma faa fi al-ubb fi-Allh; he said, it is a a asan adth.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
100
status and blessing: that is His precious love which is very diIIicult to attain. This is proven by the adth
oI Ab Hurayrah (W) in which the Prophet (7) said:
/ mcn wenI Ic vi:iI c LrcIher cf hi : in cncIher vi||cge. /||h {,) :enI cn cnge| Ic wciI fcr him cn Ihe rccc.
When Ihe mcn ccme c|cng, Ihe cnge| c:kec him, 'Where cre ycu heccec? He :cic, 'l cm gcing Ic vi:iI
c LrcIher cf mine whc |ive: in Ihi: vi||cge. Ihe cnge| c:kec, 'Hcve ycu ccne himcny fcvcur {fcr which
ycu cre ncw :eeking repcymenI)? He :cic, 'Nc, l ju:I |cve him fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,). Ihe cnge| Ic|c
him, 'l cm c me::enger Ic ycu frcm /|| h {,), :enI Ic Ie|| ycu IhcI He |cve: ycu c: ycu |cve ycur LrcIher
fcr Hi: :cke."
324
What a great love, that raises a person to a position where Allh (,) loves him and is pleased with
him!
The Prophet (7) understood the impact oI this strong, pure love in building societies and nations, so he
never let any occasion pass without advocating this love and commanding the Muslims to announce their
love Ior one another, in order to open hearts and spread love and purity among the ranks oI the ummah.
/nc: {W) :cic IhcI c mcn wc: wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7), when cncIher mcn pc::ec Ly. Ihe fir:I mcn :cic, C
Me::enger cf /||h {,), inceec l Iru|y |cve Ihi: mcn." Ihe FrcpheI {7) c:kec him, Hcve ycu |eI him kncw
IhcI?" He :cic, Nc." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, Ie|| him." He ccughI up wiIh him cnc Ic|c him, Iru|y l |cve
ycu fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h {,)," cnc Ihe mcn :cic, Mcy /||h {,) |cve ycu whc |cve: me fcr Hi: :cke."
325
Ihe FrcpheI {7) u:ec Ic cc Ihe :cme Ihing him:e|f, Iecching Ihe Mu:|im: hcw Ic Lui|c c :ccieIy Lc:ec
cn pure |cve cnc LrcIherhccc. Cne ccy he Icck Mu' ch Ly Ihe hcnc cnc :cic, C Mu'ch, Ly /||h {,) l
|cve ycu, :c l ccvi:e ycu, C Mu'ch, never fcrgeI Ic reciIe, cfIer every prcyer, 'C /|| h {,), he|p me Ic
rememLer Ycu cnc Ic give Ihcnk: Ic Ycu cnc Ic wcr:hip Ycu prcper|y { A''nunnc. c'|nn 'c' cn|k|kc wc
:nuk|kc wc u:n| 'cccct|kc)."
326
Muadh began to spread this pure love among the Muslims throughout the Muslim lands, telling them
what he had learned Irom the Prophet (7) about the great reward that Allh (,) had prepared Ior those
who loved one another Ior His sake, and about His great love Ior them. In Al-Muwatt, Imm Mlik gives a
report with a a isnd Irom Ab Idrs al-Khulan who said:
l enIerec Ihe mc:ue cf Dcmc:cu:, where l :cw c ycung mcn whc hcc c LrighI :mi|e, cnc l :cw Ihe
pecp|e gcIherec crcunc him. When Ihey ci:cgreec cn :cme mcIIer, Ihey referrec iI Ic him, cnc
cccepIec hi: cpinicn. l c:kec whc he wc:, cnc Ihey Ic|c me, 'Ihi: i: Mu' ch iLn JcLc| {W). Ecr|y Ihe nexI
ccy, l wenI Ic Ihe mc:ue LuI l fcunc IhcI he hcc crrivec even ecr|ier Ihcn l. He wc: prcying, :c l wciI ec
unIi| he hcc fini:hec, Ihen l cpprccchec him frcm in frcnI, greeIec him cnc :cic, '8y /|| h {,), l |cve ycu.
He c:kec, 'Fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h {,)? l :cic, 'Fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h {,). He repecIec hi: ue:Iicn, 'Fcr Ihe
:cke cf /||h {,)? /nc l :cic, 'Fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h {,). Sc he Icck hc|c cf my cc||cr, pu||ec me Icwcrc:
him cnc :cic, 'l hcve gccc new: fcr ycu. l hecrc Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cy: /||h {,) :cy:: My |cve i:
grcnIec Ic Ihc:e whc |cve cne cncIher fcr My :cke, whc vi:iI cne cncIher fcr My :cke, cnc whc :penc
cn cne cncIher fcr My :cke.""
327
The LIIect oI Love Ior the Suke oI Allh (,,) on the LiIe oI Muslim Men und Women
Islm came to build an ideal society based on sincere love and brotherhood, so it had to plant the seeds oI
love in the hearts oI the individuals oI which society is composed. ThereIore it made this love among
believing men and among believing women one oI the conditions oI Iaith that will grant admittance to
Paradise. This may be seen in the adth narrated by Imm Muslim Irom Ab Hurayrah (W) in which the
Prophet (7) said:
324
6a Muslim, 16/124, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl al-ubb fi-Allh.
325
Reported with a a isnd by Ab Dwd, 4/452, Kitb al-adb, bb akbar al-raful bi maabbatihi ilavh.
326
Reported with a a isnd by Amad, 5/245.
327
Reported by Mlik in Al-Muwatt, 2/953, Kitb al-shir, bb ma faa fil-mutabbavn fi-Allh.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
101
8y Ihe Cne in Whc:e hcnc i: my :cu|, ycu wi|| ncI enIer Fcrcci:e unIi| ycu Le|ieve, cnc ycu wi|| ncI
Le|ieve unIi| ycu |cve cne cncIher. Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu cf :cmeIhing IhcI if ycu cc iI, ycu wi|| |c ve cne
cncIher? Sprecc :c'n cmcng:I ycur:e|ve:."
328
The Prophet (7), with his brilliant and deep insight, understood that nothing could eliminate hatred,
jealousy and rivalry Irom people`s hearts but true brotherhood, based on sincere love, Iriendship and
mutual advice, and Iree oI Ieuds, hatred, insincerity and envy. The way to achieve this is through
spreading salm, so that hearts may be opened to sincere love and Iriendship.
So the Prophet (7) Irequently repeated this teaching to his 6abah, aiming to sow the seed oI love
in their hearts and nurture them until they bore Iruits oI that great love that Islm wants Ior the Muslims,
men and women alike.
With this sincere love, the Prophet (7) built the Iirst generation oI Muslims, who Iormed the solid
Ioundation on which the great structure oI Islm was built and lit the way Ior the rest oI humanity to
Iollow.
With this sincere love, the Prophet (7) was able to build a model human society, based on the
brotherhood oI Iaith, a society that was remarkable both in its strength, durability and ability to make
sacriIices in the cause oI fihd to spread Islm throughout the world, and in the solidarity oI its members,
which the Prophet (7) described in the most marvellous way:
8e|iever: cre |ike c :IrucIure, pcrI: cf which :uppcrI cne cncIher."
329
Ihe Le|iever:, in Iheir muIuc| frienc:hip, mercy cnc cffecIicn, cre |ike cne Lccy: if cny pcrI cf iI
ccmp|cin:, Ihe re:I cf Ihe Lccy wi|| c|:c :Icy cwcke in pcin."
330
Erom the very beginning and throughout history, the Muslim woman has always participated in the
building oI the Islmic society that is based on the brotherhood oI Iaith, and she is still doing her share oI
the eIIorts to spread the blessed virtue oI love Ior the sake oI Allh (,) in Muslim society, turning to her
sisters and Iriends with an overIlowing heart to strengthen the ties oI love and sisterhood Ior the sake oI
Allh (,).
She oes not Iorsuke or Abundon her Sister
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI Islm does not ignore the Iact that Islm,
which encourages brotherly love and mutual aIIection, is also the religion that has Iorbidden brothers and
sisters in Iaith to hate or abandon one another. Islm has explained that two people who truly love one
another Ior the sake oI Allh (,) will not be separated by the Iirst minor oIIence that either oI them may
commit, because the bond oI love Ior the sake oI Allh (,) is too strong to be broken by such minor
matters. The Prophet (7) said:
Nc Iwc pecp|e whc |cve cne cncIher fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h {,), cr fcr Ihe :cke cf l:|m, wi|| |eI Ihe fir:I
mincr cffence cf eiIher cf Ihem ccme LeIween Ihem."
331
Anger may strike a woman in moments oI human weakness, and she may hurt her sister, which could
provoke harsh Ieelings and conIlicts. In such cases, the Muslim woman should not Iorget that Islm does
not ignore human nature and its vulnerability to changing emotions. Eor this reason, Islm has deIined the
length oI time during which anger may subside. This time is considered to be three days. AIter this time
has passed, it is Iorbidden Ior the two conIlicting parties to reIuse to seek a reconciliation. The Prophet
(7) said:
lI i: ncI permi::iL|e fcr c Mu:|im Ic Le e:Ircngec frcm hi: LrcIher fcr mcre Ihcn Ihree ccy:, LcIh cf Ihem
Iurning cwcy frcm cne cncIher when Ihey meeI. Ihe LeIIer cf Ihem i: Ihe cne whc i: fir:I Ic greeI Ihe
cIher."
332
328
6a Muslim, 2/35, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn annahu la vadkhul al-fannah illal-muminn.
329
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/47, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb taawun al-muminn wa tarahumuhum.
330
Ibid.
331
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/493, Bb ifrah al-Muslim.
332
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/100, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb al-nahv an ifran al-ikhwan.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
102
The word 'Muslim obviously includes both men and women when it occurs in a adth like this,
which set out the regulations governing the lives oI individuals, Iamilies and societies in the world oI
Islm.
Hence we can see that the Muslim woman whose soul has been shaped by Islm does not persist in
ignoring her sister, no matter what the reason. Rather, she will hasten to bring about a reconciliation and
greet her with salm, because she knows that the better oI them is the one who is the Iirst to greet the
other. II her sister returns her salm, both oI them will share the reward Ior the reconciliation, but iI she
does not return the greeting, then one who gave the greeting will be absolved oI the sin oI Iorsaking her
sister, while the one who reIused to return the salm will have to bear the burden oI that sin alone. This is
made clear by the adth in which Ab Hurayrah said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'lI i: ncI permi::iL|e fcr c mcn Ic Le e:Ircngec frcm c Le|iever
fcr mcre Ihcn Ihree ccy:. lf Ihree ccy: hcve pc::ec, Ihen he :hcu|c gc cnc give :c'n Ic him: if he
reIurn: Ihe :c'n, Ihen LcIh cf Ihem wi|| hcve :hcrec in Ihe rewcrc, cnc if he cce: ncI re:pcnc Ihen Ihe
cne whc gcve Ihe :c'n wi|| Le cL:c|vec cf Ihe :in cf e:IrcngemenI."
333
It goes without saying that the word 'man in the context oI this adth reIers to both men and women.
The longer the period oI estrangement lasts, the greater the sin oI both parties becomes, as the Prophet
(7) said: Whcever fcr:cke: hi: LrcIher fcr c yecr, iI i: c: if he hcc :hec hi: L|ccc."
334
How evil is the crime oI Iorsaking one`s brother or sister, according to Islm! How heavy is the burden
oI the one who is guilty oI this crime that is likened to the shedding oI blood! The Islamic system oI
education is based on mutual love and aIIection, and ongoing contact. ThereIore Islm wants Muslim men
and women to eliminate hatred and envy Irom their lives, and not to give any room to those evil
characteristics that contradict the brotherhood oI Iaith. Hence Islm is Iilled with teachings that describe
the best ethics ever known since man Iirst walked on the Iace oI the earth:
Dc ncI Lreck cff Iie: wiIh cne cncIher, ccncI Iurn cwcy frcm cne cncIher, cc ncI hcIe cne cncIher,
cc ncI envy cne cncIher. 8e LrcIher:, c: /|| h {,) hc: ccmmcncec ycu."
335
8ewcre cf :u:picicn, fcr :pecking cn Ihe Lc:i: cf :u:picicn i: Ihe wcr:I kinc cf |ie. Dc ncI :eek cuI cne
cncIher: fcu|I:, cc ncI :py cn cne cncIher, cc ncI ccmpeIe wiIh cne cncIher, cc ncI envy cne
cncIher, cc ncI hcIe cne cncIher, cnc cc ncI Iurn cwcy frcm cne cncIher. C :|cve: cf /|| h {,), Le
LrcIher:."
336
Dc ncI envy cne cncIher, cc ncI cuILic cne cncIher {in crcer Ic i nf|cIe price:), cc ncI hcIe cne
cncIher, cc ncI Iurn cwcy frcm cne cncIher, cnc cc ncI enIer inIc c Ircn:ccIicn when cIher: hcve
c|reccy enIerec inIc iI. C :|cve: cf /|| h {,), Le LrcIher:. / Mu:|im i: Ihe LrcIher cf c Mu:|im. He cce: ncI
cppre:: him, humi|icIe him cr |cck ccwn upcn him. cqwc i: here" - cnc :c :cying, he pcinIec Ic hi:
che:I Ihree Iime:. lI i: evi| encugh fcr c mcn Ic |cck ccwn upcn hi: Mu:|im LrcIher. Ihe whc|e cf c
Mu:|im: Leing i: :ccrec Ic cncIher Mu:|im - hi: L|ccc, hi: wec|Ih cnc hi: hcncur cre invic|cL|e."
337
The Muslim woman who has received a sound Islmic education thinks deeply about these teachings
oI the Prophet (7), which contain all the most noble characteristics such as love, Iriendship,
brotherhood, sincerity, compassion and selIlessness. She will not be able to persist in her hatred, Ior
nobody can do so except the one who is mean and narrow-minded, or has a diseased heart or twisted
nature. The true Muslim woman is Iar removed Irom such evil characteristics.
ThereIore Islm issues a stern warning to those hard-hearted people, men and women alike, who are
deviating Irom true Islm and its spirit oI tolerance by insisting on remaining estranged. They are risking
an awIul Iate in the HereaIter: their actions may prevent them Irom attaining the mercy and Iorgiveness oI
Allh (,), and may close the doors oI Paradise to them. The Prophet (7) said:
Ihe cccr: cf Fcrcci:e cre cpenec cn Mcnccy cnc Ihur:ccy, cnc every :ervcnI whc cce: ncI c::ccicIe
333
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bb inna al-salam vuf:i min al-awm.
334
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/497, Bb man hafara akhahu sanah.
335
6a Muslim, 16/120, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarim al-:ann wal-tafassus wal-tanafus.
336
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/109, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb ma la vafu: min al-:ann.
337
6a Muslim, 16/120, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarim :ulm al-Muslim wa khadhaluhu wa ihtiqarahu.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
103
cnyIhing wiIh /||h {,) wi|| Le fcrgiven, excepI fcr Ihe mcn whc Lecr: c grucge cgcin:I hi: LrcIher. lI wi||
Le :cic, 'WciI fcr Ihe:e Iwc unIi| Ihey reccnci|e, wciI fcr Ihe:e Iwc unIi| Ihey reccnci|e, wciI fcr Ihe:e Iwc
unIi| Ihey reccnci|e."
338
The great 6ab Ab`l-Dard` (W) used to say: Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu cLcuI :cmeIhing IhcI i: LeIIer fcr
ycu Ihcn chcriIy cnc fc:Iing? Feccnci|e LeIween ycur LrcIher:, fcr hcIrec cimini:he: rewcrc."
339
How important it is Ior women to understand and meditate upon this great 6ab `s penetrating
insight into the spirit oI this religion, which is based on brotherhood and love, when they have arguments
and conIlicts. Ab`l-Dard`, whose intelligence and good sense the Prophet (7) used to trust,
understood that hatred cancels out good deeds and destroys rewards, so reconciling the estranged Muslim
with his brother is better Ior him than charity and Iasting, because iI he were to continue bearing a grudge
against his brother, this would negate any reward he might receive Ior those acts oI worship.
She is Tolerunt und Iorgiving
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islm is tolerant towards her Iriends and sisters, and does
not bear grudges against them. II she becomes angry with one oI her sisters, she restrains her anger and
Ireely Iorgives the one who has committed an error, without seeing any shame in doing so. In Iact, she
sees this as a good deed, which will bring her closer to Allh (,):
.|Ihc:e] whc re:Ircin cnger cnc pcrccn {c||) men - fcr /||h |cve: Ihc:e whc cc gccc. (Qur`n 3:
134)
II a person suppresses his or her seething anger, and does not Iorgive, that anger will turn into
resentment and malice, which are more dangerous than anger. When a person Iorgives and Iorgets, the
Ilames oI anger are extinguished, and his or her soul is cleansed oI the eIIects oI anger and hatred. This is
the level oI isn which earns Allh`s love Ior those who attain it: fcr /||h |cve: Ihc:e whc cc gccc.
(Qur`n 3: 134)
The Muslim woman who truly adheres to the teachings oI Islm is one oI this group oI musinn. She
does not allow anger to continue boiling in her heart, because suppressed resentment is a very heavy
burden on the soul; rather, she hastens to Iorgive and Iorget, thus Ireeing herselI Irom this burden, and
Iilling her soul with tranquillity and peace oI mind.
Something that may help the Muslim woman to reach this diIIicult level oI isn is the knowledge that
Iorgiving one`s sister is not a source oI humiliation or shame, rather it will raise her in status and honour
in the sight oI Allh (,), as the Prophet (7) described:
/||h {,) wi|| ncI increc:e Hi: :ervcnI when he fcrgive: excepI in hcncur. Nc-cne humL|e: him:e|f fcr Ihe
:cke cf /||h {,) LuI /||h {,) wi|| rci:e hi: :IcIu:."
340
II we compare this honour and status with the status oI isn reached by the woman who is tolerant
and Iorgiving, we will realize what an honour she has attained, Ior in the sight oI Allh (,) she is one oI
the musint, and in the sight oI people she is a respected, beloved example.
The Muslim woman who has truly understood the teachings oI Islm cannot have any trace oI hatred or
resentment in her heart towards anybody, because she understands precisely the value oI Iorgiveness and
purity oI heart, and their importance iI she seeks Allh`s Iorgiveness and pleasure, as the Prophet (7)
explained:
Ihere cre Ihree :in:, whcever cie: free cf Ihe:e :in: wi|| Le fcrgiven fcr cnyIhing e|:e, if /|| h {,) wi||::
c::ccicIing cnyIhing wiIh /|| h {,): prccIi:ing mcgic cr wiIchcrcfI: cnc Lecring re:enImenI Icwcrc: hi:
LrcIher."
341
338
6a Muslim, 16/122, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb al-nahv an al-shahna.
339
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bb al-shahna.
340
6a Muslim, 16/141, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb istihbb al-afuw wal-tawadu.
341
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bb al-shahna.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
104
She Meets Them with u Smiling Iuce
The true Muslim woman is cheerIul oI countenance, always greeting her sisters with warmth and smiles, as the
Prophet (7) said:
Dc ncI Ihink |iII|e cf cny gccc ceec, even if iI i: ju:I greeIing ycur LrcIher wiIh c cheerf u| ccunIencnce."
342
Having a cheerIul and Iriendly Iace is a good characteristic which Islam encourages and considers to
be a good deed which will bring reward, because a cheerIul Iace mirrors a pure soul. This inward and
outward purity is one oI the distinguishing Ieatures oI the sincere Muslim. Hence the Prophet (7) said:
Ycur :mi|ing cI ycur LrcIher i: cn ccI cf chcriIy {cccqcn)."
343
The Prophet (7) was cheerIul oI countenance, always greeting his 6abah with warmth and smiles
whenever he saw them, as the great 6ab Jarr ibn Abdullh described:
Frcm Ihe Iime l emLrccec l:|m, Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) never refu:ec Ic :ee me cnc he never :cw
me excepI wiIh c :mi|e cn hi: fcce."
344
Islm wants the ties oI Iriendship and brotherhood /sisterhood to remain strong among the Muslims, so
it encouraged them to spread salm, to be cheerIul oI countenance, to speak gently and to greet one
another warmly, so that hearts will remain pure and open, ready to work together in kindness to do good
deeds, and capable oI carrying out the duties oI Islm no matter what eIIort and sacriIices may be
required.
She is Sincere Towurds Them
One oI the virtues oI the true Muslim woman is that she is completely sincere, towards Allh (,), His
Prophet, and to the leaders and the masses oI the Muslims, as is stated in the a adth:
Fe|igicn i: :inceriIy."
345
We |Ihe 6cccn] c:kec, Ic whcm?" He |Ihe FrcpheI {7)] :cic: Ic /||h {,)
{Ly cLeying Him, cIIriLuIing Ic Him whcI He ce:erve: cnc perfcrming |nc fcr Hi: :cke): Ic Hi: 8cck {Ly
reccing iI, uncer:Icncing iI cnc cpp|ying iI Ic cne: cci|y |ife): Ic Hi: FrcpheI {Ly re:pecIing him grecI|y
cnc fighIing cn hi: Lehc|f LcIh in hi: |ifeIime cnc cfIer hi: cecIh, cnc Ly fc||cwing hi: :unnch): Ic Ihe
ru|er: cf Ihe Mu:|im: {Ly he|ping Ihem in Iheir Ic:k cf |eccing Mu:|im: Ic Ihe righI pcIh cnc c|erIing Ihem if
Ihey cre heec|e::): cnc Ic Iheir ccmmcn fc|k {Ly Leing mercifu| Icwcrc: Ihem)."
346
This attitude makes the Muslim woman sincere towards her sisters. She does not cheat them, mislead
them, or conceal anything good Irom them. II she is always sincere towards them, it is not merely Ior the
sake oI courtesy or to show oII her social manners; she behaves in this way because sincerity is one oI the
Iundamental bases oI Islm which the Iirst believers used to pledge to observe in their oath oI allegiance
(bavah) to the Prophet (7), as Jarr ibn Abdullh stated:
l gcve c||egicnce Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc p|ecgec Ic cL:erve regu|cr prcyer, Ic pcy zckn, cnc Ic Le
:incere Icwcrc: everyMu:|im."
347
In the adth quoted above, we see that the Prophet (7) summed up Islm in one word, nasiah,
showing that sincerity is the central Ioundation oI the Iaith. Eor without sincerity, a person`s Iaith is invalid
and his or her Islm is worthless. This is the meaning oI the adth oI the Prophet (7): Ncne cf ycu Iru|y
Le|ieve: unIi| he |ike: fcr hi: LrcIher whcI he |ike: fcr him:e|f."
348
This is impossible to achieve unless one loves one`s brother with all sincerity.
342
6a Muslim, 16/177, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb istihbb talqah al-wafh ind al-liqa.
343
Reported by Tirmidh, 3/228, Abwb al-birr, 36. He said it is asan gharib.
344
Fat al-Br, 10/504, Kitb al-adb, bb al-tabassum wal-dahk; 6a Muslim, 16/35, Kitb fadail al-abah, bb fadail Jarir ibn
Abdullh.
345
Nasiah is an Arabic word that may be translated by a number oI words in English. The most common translation is 'good advice, but it
also carries connotations oI sincerity, integrity, and 'doing justice to a person or situation. |Translator|
346
6a Muslim, 2/37, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn an al-dn nasiah. The explanations in brackets are adapted Irom those given in the
English translation oI 6a Bukhr by Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khn (Vol. 1, p. 48). |Translator|
347
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/63, Kitb al-mn, bb al-bavah alal-Islm.
348
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/60, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb vuhibbu li akhihi ma vuhibbu li nafsihi.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
105
A person`s liking Ior his brother what he likes Ior himselI is no easy matter. It is very diIIicult to attain,
and no man or woman can attain it except the one who has received a sound Islmic education, whose heart
has been cleansed oI all selIishness, hatred, envy and malice, and who is inIused with love Ior others.
The true Muslim woman who Ieels in the depths oI her soul that her love Ior her sister is one oI the
conditions oI true Iaith and that her religion is based on sincerity, is more likely to attain that diIIicult level;
indeed, it is something that comes naturally to her in her dealings with her Iriends and sisters, and she
becomes a truthIul mirror to them, advising and correcting them, and wishing them nothing but good, as
Ab Hurayrah used to say: Ihe Le|iever i: Ihe mirrcr cf hi: LrcIher. lf he :ee: cny fcu|I in him, he ccrrecI: iI."
349
In these words, Ab Hurayrah was echoing the adth oI the Prophet (7):
Ihe Le|iever i: Ihe mirrcr cf hi: LrcIher. Ihe Le|iever i: Ihe LrcIher cf c Le|iever: he prcIecI: him frcm ruin
cnc gucrc: hi: Lcck."
350
It is natural that the true Muslim woman should have this noble attitude towards her sister. She could
not do otherwise, even iI she wanted to: the person who is living on such an exalted level oI purity, love,
loyalty and sisterhood cannot come down to the level oI hatred, betrayal, malice, selIishness and jealousy.
A vessel will leak whatever is in it; musk cannot but smell beautiIul; and good soil cannot but bring Iorth-
good produce. How beautiIully the poet Zuhayr ibn Ab Sulm expressed this:
'Does any plant produce large Ilowers but the washf (a plant with spear-like leaves)? Are palm-trees
planted anywhere except in the soil which is suitable Ior them?
351
She is IuithIul und Kind
Islm does not stop at encouraging its Iollowers to respect and be kind to their Iriends; it also encourages
them to be kind to their parents` Iriends too, in recognition oI the virtue oI kindness and loyalty and in order
to establish these values as an essential part oI Islmic liIe. The books oI our heritage are Iilled with reports
oI loyalty and kindness that the salf embodied in their daily lives, so that they became a Iine example Ior
all oI mankind.
An example oI this is the adth narrated by Imm Muslim in his 6a Irom Ibn Umar (W), in which
the Prophet (7) said: Ihe Le:I kinc cf gcccne:: {c|) i: IhcI c mcn :hcu|c keep in Icuch wiIh cnc
re:pecI hi: fcIher: frienc."
352
The Prophet (7) used to nurture the souls oI the Muslims and plant the seeds oI IaithIulness in them
whenever he Iound an opportunity to tell them something oI his guidance.
/ mcn cf 8cn Sc|mch ccme Ic him cnc c:kec: C Me::enger cf /|| h, i: Ihere cny ceec cf kincne::
cnc re:pecI IhcI l ccn cc fcr my pcrenI: cfIer Ihey cie?" He :cic, Ye:, prcy fcr Ihem, c:k fcrgivene:: fcr
Ihem, fu|fi| Iheir prcmi:e: cfIer Ihey cie, keep in ccnIccI wiIh ycur re|cIive: - fcr ycu hcve nc re|cIive:
excepI Ihrcugh Ihem - cnc hcncur Iheir frienc:."
353
The Prophet (7) set the highest example oI IaithIulness and kindness by taking care oI Khadeeja`s
Iriends aIter she died. He never Iorgot them or neglected to treat them kindly. The Prophet`s concern Ior the
Iriends oI Khadeeja (May Allh be pleased with her) upset bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), who
Ielt jealous oI her. This is clear Irom the words oI bishah:
l never fe|I jec|cu: cf cny cf Ihe wive: cf Ihe FrcpheI { 7) c: l cic cf Khcceejc {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec
wiIh her), c|Ihcugh l hcc never :een her. 8uI he u:ec Ic menIicn her cfIen, cnc :cmeIime: he wcu|c
:|cughIer c :heep, LuIcher Ihe mecI, cnc :enc iI Ic Khcceejc: frienc:. Cne Iime l :cic Ic him,'lI i: c: if
Ihere were nc cIher wcmcn in Ihe wcr|c LuI Khcceejcl He :cic, 'She wc: :uch-cnc-:uch, cnc l hcc
chi|cren Ly her."
354
349
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/333, Bb al-Muslim mirah akhihi.
350
Ibid.
351
Shar Diwn Zuhavr, 115, published by Dr al-Kutub al-Misriyyah.
352
6a Muslim, 16/110, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl silah asdiqa al-abb wal-umm.
353
Reported by Ibn pibbn in his 6a, 2/162, Kitb al-birr wal-isan, bb aqq al-walidavn.
354
Fat al-Br, 7/133, Kitb manaqib al-Anr, bb ta:wif al-Nabi Khadeefah wa fadliha; 6a Muslim, 15/201, Kitb al-fadail, bb
fadail Khadeefah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
106
According to another report: He u:ec Ic :|cughIer c :heep cnc :enc Ic her frienc: c gccc|y cmcunI
cf iI."
355
By this example, the Prophet (7) expanded the concept oI IaithIulness and kindness to include the
distant Iriends oI deceased parents and wives. So what about our own Iriends who are still alive!
She is Kind to Them
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islm is never arrogant towards her sisters and Iriends; she is
never sullen towards them, and never uses harsh words with them. She is always kind, gentle and Iriendly
towards them, treating them well and speaking nicely to them. The words oI Allh (,) describing the
believers, men and women, as being |cw|y |cr humL|e] wiIh Ihe Le|iever:, mighIy cgcin:I Ihe k||n.
(Qur`n 5: 54) are suIIicient to give her the most vivid picture oI how the Muslim woman should be with
her Iriends and sisters. The ideal situation is to be so gentle and kind that it almost looks like humility.
When the Muslim woman hears the Prophet`s teachings she Iinds strong evidence in support oI
kindness towards others; it is described as something that may adorn every aspect oI liIe, as the Prophet
(7) said:
Ihere i: nc kincne:: in c Ihing LuI iI ccc: LecuIy Ic iI, cnc Ihere i: nc cL:ence cf kincne:: LuI iI
ci:figure: c Ihing."
356
When the Muslim woman studies the liIe oI the Prophet (7), she is impressed by the magniIicent
nature oI his character, his overwhelming gentleness and his utmost kindness in his dealings with people.
He was never known to scowl at anybody, or to speak harshly, or to be severe or harsh-hearted. Allh (,)
indeed spoke the truth when He said:
.Were ycu :evere cr hcr:h-hecrIec, Ihey wcu|c hcve Lrcken cwcy frcm cLcuI ycu. (Qur`n 3:
159)
Anas (W), his servant and constant companion, described his noble character thus:
l :ervec Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) fcr Ien yecr:, cnc he never :cic Ic me 'U||l {Ihe :mc||e:I wcrc cf
ccnIempI cr cnger). lf l cic :cmeIhing, he never :cic 'Why cic ycu cc IhcI? cnc if l cic ncI cc
:cmeIhing, he never :cic 'Why cic ycu ncI cc IhcI?"
357
Anas (W) also said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) never u:ec cL:cene |cngucge, cr uIIerec cur:e: cnc in:u|I:. lf he wcnIec Ic reLuke
:cmecne, he wcu|c :cy, 'WhcI i: Ihe mcIIer wiIh him, mcy hi: fcrehecc Le ccverec wiIh cu:Il
358
"
359
She oes not Gossip About Them
The alert Muslim woman does not allow herselI to be drawn into gossip or to attend gatherings where
gossip takes place. She restrains her tongue and reIrains Irom gossiping in general, and avoids backbiting
about her Iriends and sisters in particular. She regards it as her duty to prevent gatherings Irom sinking to
the level oI cheap gossip, because gossip is clearly arm according to the words oI the Qur`n:
Ncr :peck i|| cf ecch cIher Lehinc Iheir Lcck. Wcu|c cny cf ycu |ike Ic ecI Ihe f|e:h cf hi: cecc
LrcIher? Ncy, ycu wcu|c cLhcr iI. 8uI fecr /||h, fcr /||h i: CfI-FeIurning, /||-Mercifu|. (Qur`n 49: 12)
The Muslim woman always reIrains Irom indulging in any talk that could lead to gossip. Erom her
understanding oI Islm, she knows that it is the tongue that may lead its owner to Hell, as stated in the
adth in which the Prophet (7) warned Mudh ibn Jabal. He took hold oI his tongue and said,
Fe:Ircin Ihi:." Mu'ch :cic, C Me::enger cf /||h, wi|| we Le he|c re:pcn:iL|e fcr whcI we :cy?" Ihe
FrcpheI {7) :cic: Mcy ycur mcIher Le LerefI cf ycul l: Ihere cnyIhing IhcI ccu:e: pecp|e Ic Le Ihrcwn
355
Fat al-Br, 7/133, Kitb manaqib al-Anr, bb ta:wif al-Nabi Khadeefah wa fadliha.
356
6a Muslim, 16/146, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl al-rifq.
357
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 336, Bb usn al-khalq.
358
It has been suggested that what was meant by this expression was that the Prophet (7) was praying that the person would increase his
sufd, i.e. pray more, as this would guide and reIorm him. |Author|
359
Fat al-Br, 10/452, Kitb al-adb, bb lam vakun al-Nabi fashishan wa la mutafahhishan.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
107
inIc He|| cn Iheir fcce: {cr he :cic: cn Iheir nc:e:) LuI Ihe hcrve:I cf Iheir Icngue:?"
360
Gossip is an evil characteristic which does not beIit the Muslim woman who has been guided by Islm.
Such a woman reIuses to be two-Iaced, hypocritical or Iickle, gossiping about her Iriends and sisters in
their absence, then when she meets them, she smiles warmly and makes a display oI Iriendship. She
knows that such Iickleness is arm according to Islm, which is based on straightIorwardness, honesty
and Irankness. Such good qualities come naturally to believing men and women, Ior Islm has made them
despise inconsistency, Iickleness and hypocrisy. These characteristics are regarded as so loathsome by
Islm that the one who possesses them is described as being two-Iaced, and those who are two-Iaced, men
and women alike, are among the worst oI people in the sight oI Allh (,), as the Prophet (7) said:
Ycu wi|| finc cmcng Ihe wcr:I pecp|e in Ihe :ighI cf /|| h {,) cn Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI, Ihe cne whc i:
Iwc-fccec, whc cpprccche: :cme pecp|e in cne wcy cnc :cme in cncIher."
361
The true Muslim woman is straightIorward and consistent, never two-Iaced. She is always bright and
cheerIul, and treats all people in the same, noble, manner. She never Iorgets that the woman who is two-
Iaced is a hypocrite: Islm and hypocrisy do not go together, and the woman who is a hypocrite will be in
the lowest level oI Hell.
She Avoids Arguing With Them, Muking HurtIul Jokes und Breuking Promises
Among the good manners oI the true Muslim woman are a sense oI moderation, wisdom and tact. She
does not exhaust her Iriends with irritating arguments, she does not annoy them with hurtIul jokes, and she
does not break a promise that she has made to them. In this, she Iollows the guidance oI the Prophet (7):
Dc ncI crgue wiIh ycur LrcIher, cc ncI jcke exce::ive|y wiIh him, cc ncI mcke c prcmi:e Ic him Ihen
Lreck iI."
362
Excessive arguing is a repulsive habit that Iills people`s hearts with hatred and disgust; making hurtIul
jokes destroys the purity oI a Iriendship between two sisters; and breaking promises weakens the ties oI
sisterhood and Iriendship, and destroys mutual respect. The alert Muslim woman avoids behaving in such a
way that makes a person despicable.
She is Generous und Honours her Sisters
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI her religion is generous and gives Ireely to her
Iriends and sisters. Her approach is Iriendly and sincere when she invites them, she welcomes them
warmly and oIIers them Iood generously.
Eriendly gatherings over Iood strengthen the ties oI sisterhood and Iriendship between sisters, Iilling their
lives with the sense oI noble human emotions that have been lost by the Western woman raised in a
materialistic culture, who has been Iilled with the spirit oI opportunism, selIishness and individualism. The
Western woman is suIIering Irom spiritual emptiness and emotional dryness, which result in a Ieeling oI
being deprived oI true Iriendship and sincere Iriends. This is the situation oI Westerners in general, and
Western women in particular, and they compensate Ior it by devoting themselves to caring Ior their dogs, to
make up Ior the lack oI human emotional warmth drained Irom them by their materialistic philosophy. A
Erench report states that there are seven million dogs in Erance, a country whose population is IiIty-two
million. These dogs live with their owners like one oI the Iamily. It is no longer strange in Erench
restaurants to see a dog and its owner eating together at the same table. When an oIIicial oI the Animal
WelIare Organization` in Paris was asked, 'Why do the Erench treat their dogs like they treat themselves?
he answered, 'Because they want someone to love, but they cannot Iind any person to love.
363
The materialistic man, whether in the West or in the East, can no longer Iind a true, sincere Iriend in his
own society on whom to bestow his love and aIIection. So he turns to these animals in whom he Iinds more
360
A 6a asan adth narrated by Ibn Mjah, 2/1315, Kitb al-fitan.
361
Fat al-Br, 10/474, Kitb al-adb, bb ma qila fi dhil-wafhavn; 6a Muslim, 16/157, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb dhamm
dhil-wafhavn.
362
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/485, bb la taid akhaka shavan fa tukhlifahu.
363
ProI. Wahd al-Dn Khn, Wufb tatbiq al-shariah alislamivvah fi kulli :aman wa makn ('The necessity oI applying Islmic shariah in
every time and place), in Al-Muftama, No. 325, Kuwait, 24 Dhu`l-Qaidah 1396/16 November 1976.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
108
gentleness and IaithIulness than in the people around him. Can man become any more emotionally
degenerate than this extreme love Ior animals when he has lost the blessing oI Iaith and guidance?
This emotional degeneration Irom which Westerners are suIIering and which has dried up the human
Ieelings in their souls, is one oI the Iirst things that attracted the attention oI emigrant Arab writers, both
Muslim and non-Muslim. They noticed that the materialistic liIestyle that has overtaken Western societies
has made men into machines who know nothing in liIe but work, productivity and Iierce competition,
who do not know what it is to smile warmly at a Iriend. They are overwhelmed by the haste and crowds
oI this machine-like existence. Seeing all oI this alarmed those Arab writers, who had grown up in the
Islmic world and breathed its spirit oI tolerance, and whose hearts were Iilled with brotherly love. So
they began earnestly calling the Westerners towards the values oI love and brotherhood. One oI them was
Nasb Aridah, who raised the banner oI this humane call to the Westerner whose heart was stained with
materialism and who had been blinded and deaIened by the roar oI the machines: 'O my Iriend, O my
companion, O my colleague, my love Ior you is not out oI curiosity or a desire to impose on you. Answer
me with the words O my brother!` O my Iriend, and repeat it, Ior these are the sweetest words. II you
wish to walk alone, or iI you grow bored oI me, then go ahead, but you will hear my voice, calling O my
brother,` bearing the message, and the echo oI my love will reach you wherever you are, so you will
understand its beauty and its glory.
364
The burden oI materialistic liIe in the West became too much Ior YsuI Asad Ghanim to bear, and he
could no longer stand this liIe which was Iull oI problems and sinking in the ocean oI materialism, and
was devoid oI the Iresh air oI spirituality, brotherhood and aIIection. So he began to long Ior the Arab
countries oI the Islmic world, the lands oI Prophethood and spirituality, the home oI love, brotherhood
and purity. He wished that he could live in an Arab tent, and leave behind the civilized world with all its
noise and glaring lights: 'II I were to live a short liIe in any Arab land, I would thank Allh (,) Ior a
short but rich liIe in a world where He is loved in the hearts oI its people. I got so tired oI the West that
tiredness itselI got bored oI me. Take your cars and planes, and give me a camel and a horse. Take the
Western world, land, sea and sky, and give me an Arab tent which I will pitch on one oI the mountains oI
my homeland Lebanon, or on the banks oI Barada or the shores oI the Tigris and Euphrates, in the
suburbs oI Amman, in the deserts oI Saudi Arabia, in the unknown regions oI Yemen, on the slopes oI
the Pyramids, in the oases oI Libya.. Give me an Arab tent, and I will weigh it against the entire world
and emerge a winner.
365
Many writings by emigrant Arab writers share the same tone, but it is suIIicient to give just a Iew
examples here. All oI their writings express the emigrants` longing Ior the emotional richness that they
missed when they came to the West, an experience which awoke in them Ieelings oI longing Ior the East
where Islm had spread love, brotherhood, mutual aIIection and solidarity.
Islm planted the seeds oI love and brotherhood in the souls oI its Iollowers, and encouraged them to
make Iriends and exchange invitations and visits. Those who invite others to these kinds oI gatherings are
described as being among the best oI people:
Ihe Le:I cf ycu i: Ihe cne whc cffer: fccc free|y cnc reIurn: Ihe greeIing cf :c'n."
366
The Prophet (7) gave good news to those who are generous, men and women alike, that they will be
among those who will enter Paradise in peace:
Sprecc :c'n, cffer fccc genercu:|y, uphc|c Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip, :Icnc in prcyer cI nighI when pecp|e cre
:|eeping, cnc enIer Fcrcci:e in pecce."
367
The Prophet (7) Iurther encouraged these generous people with the promise oI special chambers in
Paradise:
364
Diwn al-arwh al-hirah, qism al-na:ah al-insnivvah.
365
See Isa al-Nauri, Adb al-Mahfar, Dr al-MaariI bi Misr, p. 527
366
A asan adth narrated by Amad, 6/16.
367
A a adth narrated by Amad, 2/295, and Al-pkim 4/129, Kitb al-atamah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
109
ln Fcrcci:e Ihere cre rccm: whc:e cuI:ice ccn Le :een fr cm Ihe in:ice, cnc whc:e in:ice ccn Le :een
frcm Ihe cuI:ice. /||h {,) hc: prepcrec Ihem fcr Ihc:e whc feec cIher: genercu:|y, whc cre genI|e in
:peech, whc fc:I ccnIinucu:|y, cnc whc :Icnc in prcyer cI nighI when pecp|e cre :|eeping."
368
She Pruys Ior Her Sisters in Their Absence
The sincere Muslim woman whose heart is Iilled with the sweetness oI Iaith likes Ior her
Muslim sister what she likes Ior herselI. So she never Iorgets to pray Ior her in her absence, a
du that is Iilled with the warmth oI sincere love and sisterhood. She knows that such dus are
the quickest to be answered because oI their sincerity and warmth oI Ieeling and the noble
intention behind them. This is conIirmed by the words oI the Prophet (7):
Ihe uicke:I prcyer Ic Le cn:werec i: c mcn: :upp|iccIicn fcr hi: LrcIher in hi: cL:ence."
369
The 6abah understood this and used to ask their brothers to pray Ior them whenever they were in a
situation where their prayers would be answered. Men and women alike shared this virtue, which is
indicative oI the high level oI the entire society during that golden period oI our history. Bukhr reports,
in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, Irom 6aIwn ibn Abdullh ibn 6aIwn, whose wiIe was Al-Dard` bint Ab`l-
Dard`. He said:
l ccme Ic vi:iI Ihem in Dcmc:cu:, cnc fcunc Umm c|-Dcrc in Ihe hcu:e, LuI /L|-Dcrc wc: ncI
Ihere. She :cic, 'Dc ycu wcnI Ic gc fcr pcjj? l :cic, 'Ye:. She :cic, 'Frcy fcr me, fcr Ihe FrcpheI { 7)
u:ec Ic :cy, Ihe Mu:|im: prcyer fcr hi: cL:enI LrcIher wi|| Le cn:werec. Ihere i: cn cnge| cI hi: hecc
whc, whenever he prcy: fcr hi: LrcIher, :cy:, bnn, cnc ycu :hc|| hcve |ikewi:e." He {6cfwn) :cic, l meI
/L|-Dcrc in Ihe mcrkeI cnc he Ic|c me :cmeIhing :imi|cr, repcrIing frcm Ihe FrcpheI { 7)."
370
The Prophet (7) instilled team spirit in the souls oI Muslim men and women at every opportunity,
strengthening the ties oI love Ior the sake oI Allh (,) between them, spreading an attitude oI
selIlessness, and uprooting the inclination towards individualism and selIishness, in order that the Muslim
society should be inIused with Ieelings oI love, close ties, solidarity and selIlessness.
One oI the brilliant ways in which he instilled this team spirit was his response to the man who prayed
out loud: 'O Allh (,), Iorgive me and Muhammad only. He told him, 'You have denied it to many
people.
371
In this way, the Prophet (7) did not just correct this man alone, but he eIIectively instilled team spirit
in the entire ummah oI Islm, and taught every Muslim man and women, no matter when or where they
lived, that it is not right Ior anyone who has uttered the words oI the Shahadah to keep goodness to
himselI, because the believer should always like Ior his brother what he likes Ior himselI.
In conclusion, then, this is how the Muslim woman who has received a sound Islmic education should
be: she loves her sisters Ior the sake oI Allh (,), and her sisterly love towards them is sincere and in
their best interests; she likes Ior them what she likes Ior herselI; she is keen to maintain the ties oI love
and sisterhood between them, and she does not cut them oII or Iorsake them; she is tolerant and Iorgiving
oI their mistakes and Iaults; she does not bear any hatred, envy or malice towards them; she always greets
them with a cheerIul, smiling Iace; she is kind and loyal towards them; she does not gossip about them;
she does not hurt their Ieelings by being hostile or arguing with them; she is generous to them; she prays
Ior them in their absence.
It is no surprise that the Muslim woman whose personality has been cleansed and moulded by Islm
should have such noble characteristics. This is the miracle that Islm has wrought in educating and
Iorming human character, no matter where or when a man or woman lives.
368
A asan adth narrated by Amad, 5/343 and Ibn pibbn, 2/262, Kitb al-birr wal-isan, bb ifsha al-salm wa itam al-taam.
369
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/83, Bb du al-akh bi dhahr al-ghavb.
370
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/84, Bb al-du bi dhahr al-ghavb.
371
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/85, Bb al-du bi dhahr al-ghavb.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
110
CHAPTER 10
The Muslim Woman and Her Community/Society
Introduction
When it comes to Islmic duties, the Muslim woman is just like a man: she has a mission in liIe, and
so she is required to be as eIIective, active and social as her particular circumstances and capabilities
allow, mixing with other women as much as she can and dealing with them in accordance with the worthy
Islmic attitudes and behaviour that distinguish her Irom other women.
Wherever the Muslim woman is Iound, she becomes a beacon oI guidance, and a positive source oI
correction and education, through both her words and her deeds.
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by the Qur`n and Sunnah has a reIined social
personality oI the highest degree, which qualiIies her to undertake her duty oI calling other women to
Islm, opening their hearts and minds to the guidance oI this great religion which elevated the status oI
women at a remarkably early stage in their history and Iurnished them with a vast range oI the best oI
characteristics which are outlined in the Qur`n and Sunnah. Islm has made the acquisition oI these
characteristics a religious duty Ior which a person will be rewarded, and will be called to account iI he or
she Iails to attain them. These texts succeeded in making the personality oI the woman who is sincere
towards Allh (,) into a brilliant example oI the decent, chaste, polite, God-Iearing, reIined, sociable
woman.
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm stands out in every women`s gathering she
attends, as she demonstrates the true values oI her religion and the practical application oI those values by
her attaining those worthy attributes. The make-up oI her distinct social character represents a huge store oI
those Islmic values, which can be seen in her social conduct and dealings with people. Erom this rich, pure
source, the Muslim woman draws her own customs, habits and ways oI dealing with others and she cleanses
her soul and Iorms her own Muslim, social personality Irom the same source.
She hus u Good Attitude Towurds Others und Treuts Them Well
The Muslim woman is oI good and noble character, Iriendly, humble, gentle oI speech and tactIul. She
likes others and is liked by them. By doing so, she is Iollowing the example oI the Prophet (7) who, as
his servant Anas (W) reported, was Ihe Le:I cf pecp|e in hi: cIIiIuce Icwcrc: cIher:."
372
Anas (W) saw more than anyone else oI the Prophet`s good attitude, and witnessed such good attitudes
that no-one could imagine it existed in any human being. He told us oI one aspect oI that noble attitude oI
the Prophet (7):
l :ervec Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) fcr Ien yecr:, cnc he never :cic Ic me 'U|| l {Ihe :mc||e:I wcrc cf
ccnIempI cr cnger). lf l cic cnyIhing, he never :cic, 'Why cic ycu cc IhcI? /nc if l cic ncI cc
:cmeIhing, he never :cic, 'Why cic ycu ncI cc :uch-cnc-:uch?"
373
The Prophet (7) was oI the best character, as Allh (,) said:
/nc ycu |:Icnc] cn cn exc|Iec :Icnccrc cf chcrccIer. (Qur`n 68: 4)
He (7) repeatedly told his 6abah oI the eIIect a good attitude would have in Iorming an Islmic
personality and in raising a person`s status in the sight oI Allh (,) and oI other people. He (7) told
them:
/mcng Ihe Le:I cf ycu cre Ihc:e whc hcve Ihe Le:I cIIiIuce {Icwcrc: cIher:)."
374
Ihe mc:I Le|cvec Ic me cnc Ihe c|c:e:I Ic me cn IheDcy cf Fe:urrecIicn wi|| Le Ihc:e cf ycu whc hcve
Ihe Le:I cIIiIuce:. /nc Ihe mc:I hcIefu| Ic me cnc Ihe furIhe:I frcm me cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn wi||
372
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah 13/235, Kitb al-fadail, bb usn khalqihi.
373
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 336, Bb usn al-khalq.
374
Fat al-Br, 10/456, Kitb al-adb, bb usn al-khulq; 6a Muslim, 15/78, Kitb al-fadail, bb kathrah havaihi.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
111
Le Ihe prcII|er: cnc Lcc:Ier: cncA'-nutc|cyn|qn." Ihe 6cccn :cic, C Me::enger cf /||h {7), we
uncer:Icnc whc Ihe prcII|er: cnc Lcc:Ier: cre, LuI whc cre A'-nutc|cyn|qn?" He {7) :cic, Ihe prcuc
cnc crrcgcnI."
375
The Sabah - men and women alike - used to hear the Prophet`s noble moral teachings, and they
would see with their own eyes the excellent way in which he used to deal with people. So they would
obey his words and Iollow his example. Thus was established their society which has never been equalled
by any other in the history oI mankind. Anas (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: mercifu|. NcLccy ccme Ic him wiIhcuI receiving c prcmi:e cf hi: he|p, which he
wcu|c fu|fi| if he hcc Ihe mecn: Ic cc :c. Cn cne cccc:icn, Ihe |qncn fcr prcyer hcc Leen given, when
c Leccuin ccme Ic him, Icck hc|c cf hi: c|cck, cnc :cic, 'l :Ii|| hcve :cme mcIIer cuI:Icncin g, cnc l cc
ncI wcnI Ic fcrgeI iI. Sc Ihe FrcpheI {7) wenI wiIh him cnc re:c|vec Ihe mcIIer, Ihen he ccme Lcck
cnc prcyec."
376
The Prophet (7) did not see anything wrong with listening to the bedouin and resolving his issue,
even though the iqmah had already been given. He did not get upset with the man Ior pulling on his
cloak, or object to resolving the matter beIore the prayer, because he was building a just society, teaching
the Muslims by his example how a Muslim should treat his brother, and showing them the moral
principles that should prevail in a Muslim community.
II good attitudes and manners among non-Muslims are the result oI a good upbringing and solid
education, then among Muslims such good attitudes come, above all, Irom the guidance oI Islm, which
makes good attitudes a basic characteristic oI the Muslim, one which will raise his status in this world and
will weigh heavily in his Iavour in the HereaIter. No deed will count Ior more on the Day oI Judgement
than a man`s good attitude, as the Prophet (7) said:
NcIhing wi|| weigh mcre hecvi|y in Ihe Lc|cnce cf Ihe Le|ieving :ervcnI cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn Ihcn
c gccc cIIiIuce {Icwcrc: cIher:). Veri|y /|| h {,) hcIe: Ihc:e whc uIIer vi|e wcrc: cnc cL:cene :peech."
377
Islm has made this good attitude towards others an essential part oI Iaith, and those who have the best
attitude towards others are the most complete in Iaith, as the Prophet (7) said:
Ihe mc:I perfecI in fciIh cf Ihe Le|iever: cre Ihc:e whc cre Le:I in Iheir cIIiIuce Icwcrc: cI her:."
378
Islm also describes those who have the best attitude towards others as being the most beloved to
Allh (,) oI His slaves. This is seen in the adth oI Usamah ibn Shurayk, who said:
We were :iIIing wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7) c: if Ihere were Lirc: cncur hecc:: ncne cf u: were Ic|king. Scme
pecp|e ccme Ic him cnc c:kec, 'Whc i: Ihe mc:I Le|cvec Ic /|| h {,) cf Hi: S|cve:? He :cic, 'Ihc:e whc
cre Ihe Le:I in cIIiIuce Icwcrc: cIher:."
379
It comes as no surprise that the person who has the best attitude towards others should also be the one
who is most beloved to Allh (,), Ior good treatment oI others is an important Ieature oI Islmic law. It is
the most signiIicant deed that can be placed in the balance oI the Muslim on the Day oI Judgement, as we
have seen. It is equivalent to prayer and Iasting, the two greatest bases oI Islm, as the Prophet (7) said:
Nc grecIer ceec wi|| Le p|ccec in Ihe Lc|cnce Ihcn c gccc cIIiIuce Icwcrc: cIher:. / gccc cIIiIuce
Icwcrc: cIher: wi|| Lring c per:cn up Ic Ihe |eve| cf fc:Iing cnc prcyer."
380
/cccrcing Ic cncIher repcrI,
he {7) :cic: 8y virIue cf hi: gccc cIIiIuce Icwcrc: cIher:, c per:cn mcy recch Ihe |eve| cf cne whc
hcLiIuc||y fc:I: {curing Ihe ccy) cnc :Icnc: in prcyer {cI nighI)."
375
Reported by Tirmidh, 4/249, in Abwb al-birr, 70. He said it is a asan adth.
376
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/375, Bb sakhawah al-nafs.
377
Reported by Tirmidh 3/244, in Abwb al-birr, bb usn al-khalq. He said it is a asan a adth.
378
Reported by Tirmidh, 2/315, in Abwb al-rida, 11. He said it is a asan a adth.
379
Reported by A-abarn in Al-Kabr, 1/181, 183. The men oI its isnd are rifal al-a.
380
Reported by Tirmidh, 3/245, in Abwb al-birr wal-silah, 61. The men oI its isnd are thiqt.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
112
So the Prophet (7) repeatedly emphasized the importance oI a good attitude and encouraged his
Companions to adopt it, using various methods to instil it in their hearts by his words and deeds. He
understood the great impact this good attitude would have in puriIying their souls and enhancing their
morals and manners. Eor example, he told Ab Dharr:
C /L Dhcrr, :hc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu cf Iwc uc|iIie: which cre ec:y Ic cIIcin LuI which wi|| weigh mcre
hecvi|y in Ihe Lc|cnce?" He :cic, Cf ccur:e, C Me::enger cf /|| h." He :cic, Ycu :hcu|c hcve c gccc
cIIiIuce Icwcrc: cIher: cnc remcin :i|enI fcr |engIhy pericc:. 8y Ihe Cne in Whc:e hcnc i: my :cu|,
ncIhing IhcI pecp|e hcve ever cIIcinec i: LeIIer Ihcn Ihe:e Iwc."
381
And he (7) said:
/ gccc cIIiIuce i: c L|e::ing cnc c Lcc cIIiIuce i: c cc|cmiIy. FieIy {c|) |engIhen: |ife, cnc chcriIy wi||
prevenI c Lcc cecIh."
382
One oI his dus was:
A''cnunnc cn:cntc knc'q |c c:|n knu'q |{C /||h {,)], Ycu hcve mcce my phy:icc| ccn:IiIuIicn gccc,
:c mcke my cIIiIuce cnc Lehcvicur gccc c|:c)."
383
The prayer oI the Prophet (7), asking Allh (,) to make his attitude good when Allh (,) had
described him in the Qur`n as being cn cn exc|Iec :Icnccrc cf chcrccIer (Qur`n 68: 4), is a clear
indication oI his deep concern and earnest desire that the Muslims should continue to seek to increase in
good attitudes, no matter what heights they had already scaled, just as their Prophet (7) continued to
seek to increase in good attitudes through this du. 'Good attitudes is a comprehensive term which
includes all the good characteristics that human beings may acquire, such as modesty, patience,
gentleness, Iorgiveness, tolerance, cheerIulness, truthIulness, trustworthiness, sincerity,
straightIorwardness, purity oI heart, and so on.
The one who sets out to explore the Islmic teachings on social issues will Iind himselI conIronted with a
host oI teachings that encourage every single one oI these noble attitudes. This is an indication oI the
intense concern that Islm has to Iorm the social personality oI the Muslim in the most precise Iashion. So it
does not stop at mentioning generalities, but it also deals with every minor moral issue that may Iorm
individual aspects oI the integrated social personality. This comprehensiveness does not exist in other social
systems as it does in Islm.
The researcher who sets out to explore the character oI the Muslim woman has no alternative but to
examine all these texts, and to understand the guidance and legislation contained therein. Only then will
he be able to Iully comprehend the noble social personality that is unique to the true Muslim, man or
woman.
She is TruthIul
The Muslim woman is truthIul with all people, because she has absorbed the teachings oI Islm which
encourages truthIulness and regards it as the chieI oI virtues, whilst lying is Iorbidden and regarded as the
source oI all evils and bad deeds. The Muslim woman believes that truthIulness naturally leads to
goodness, which will admit the one who practices it to Paradise, while Ialsehood leads to iniquity which
will send the one who practices it to Hell. The Prophet (7) said:
IruIhfu|ne:: |ecc: Ic pieIy {c|), cnc pieIy |ecc: Ic Fcrcci:e. / mcn ccnIinue: Ic :peck Ihe IruIh unIi| he i:
reccrcec in Ihe :ighI cf /||h {,) c: c :incere |cver cf IruIh {|cc|q). Fc|:ehccc |ecc: Ic iniuiIy cnc iniuiIy
|ecc: Ic He||. / mcn wi|| ccnIinue Ic :peck fc|:ehccc unIi| he i: reccrcec in Ihe :ighI cf /|| h {,) c: c |icr."
384
381
Reported by Ab Yala and A-abarn in Al-Awsat; the men oI Ab Yala are thiqt. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/22.
382
Reported by Amad, 3/502; its men are thiqt.
383
Reported by Amad, 1/403; its men are rif l al-a.
384
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 50, Bb al-idq.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
113
ThereIore the Muslim woman is keen to be a sincere lover oI truth (iddqah), striving to be true in all
her words and deeds. This is a sublime status which is achieved only by God-Iearing Muslim woman by
means oI truthIulness, purity oI heart and by virtue oI which she is recorded in the sight oI Allh (,) as
an honoured lover oI truth.
She Avoids Giving Iulse Stutements
The true Muslim woman whose personality has been moulded by the teachings and guidance oI Islm
does not give Ialse statements, because to do so is arm:
./nc :hun Ihe wcrc IhcI i: fc|:e. (Qur`n 22: 30)
Bearing Ialse witness
385
, besides being arm, does not beIit the Muslim woman. It damages her
honour and credibility, and marks a person as twisted and worthless in the sight oI others. So the Qur`n
completely Iorbids this attitude Ior the chosen servants oI Allh (,), men and women alike, just as it
Iorbids other major sins:
Ihc:e whc wiIne:: nc fc|:ehccc cnc, if Ihey pc:: Ly fuIi|iIy, Ihey pc:: iI Ly wiIh hcncurcL|e
|cvciccnce]. (Qur`n 25: 72)
Nothing is more indicative oI the enormity oI this sin than the Iact that the Prophet (7) mentioned it
as coming aIter the two most serious sins on the scale oI major sins: associating partners with Allh (,),
and disobedience to parents. Then he repeated it to the Muslims, warning them with the utmost Iervour. He
(7) said:
Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu cf Ihe mc:I :ericu: cf Ihe mcjcr :in:?" We :cic: Cf ccur:e, C Me::enger cf /|| h." He
:cic: /::ccicIing cnyIhing wiIh /|| h {,), cnc ci:cLeying pcrenI:." He wc: rec|ining, LuI Ihen he :cI up
cnc :cic: /nc Lecring fc|:e wiIne::," cnc he kepI repecI ing Ihi: unIi| we wi:hec IhcI he wcu|c :Icp {i.e.,
:c IhcI he wcu|c ncI exhcu:I him:e|f wiIh hi: fervcur)."
386
She Gives Sincere Advice
The true Muslim woman does not only strive to Iree herselI oI negative characteristics; she also seeks
to oIIer sincere advice to every woman she comes into contact with who has deviated Irom the guidance
oI Allh (,) - and how many women there are who have wronged themselves and are in great need oI
someone to oIIer them sincere advice and guide them back towards the straight path which Allh (,) has
commanded all oI us to Iollow.
Eor the true Muslim woman, oIIering sincere advice is not just the matter oI volunteering to do good
out oI generosity; it is a duty enjoined by Islm, as the Prophet (7) said:
Fe|igicn i: :inceriIy |cr :incere ccvice]." Ihe 6cccn c:kec, Ic whcm?" He :cic, Ic /|| h {,), Ic Hi:
8cck, Ic Hi: Me::enger, Ic Ihe |eccer: cf Ihe Mu:|im: cnc Ic Iheir ccmmcn fc|k."
387
When the 6abah swore allegiance (bavah) to the Prophet (7), they would pledge to observe salh
and :akh, and to be sincere towards every Muslim, as is shown in the statement oI Jarr ibn Abdullh
(W):
l :wcre c||egicnce Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) wiIh Ihe p|ecge IhcI l wcu|c e:IcL|i:h regu|cr prcyer, pcyzckn
cnc Le :incere Ic every Mu:|im."
388
How brilliantly the Prophet (U) expressed the meaning oI nasah when he said, 'Religion is sincerity
|or sincere advice|! He summed up the entire religion in just one word, 'nasah, indicating to every
Muslim the value oI sincerity and sincere advice, and the great impact that sincere advice has on the lives
385
Shahadat al-:ur may be interpreted in the Iollowing ways: bearing Ialse witness by giving evidence that is Ialse; assisting in something
which implies Iraud or Ialsehood; attending the gatherings oI the kuffr on the occasion oI their Iestivals. |Translator|
386
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 689, Bb ghala: tarm shahadah al-:ur.
387
6a Muslim, 2/37, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn an al-dn al-nasah.
388
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/92, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb al-nasah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
114
oI individuals, Iamilies and societies. When sincerity spreads among a people, they are guided to the
straight path; iI sincerity is withheld, they will go Iar astray.
ThereIore nasah was one oI the most important matters that Muslims pledged to observe when they
swore allegiance to the Prophet (7): it comes aIter salh and :akh, as we have seen in the adth oI
Jabr ibn Abdullh quoted above.
The Iact that sincere advice is mentioned in conjunction with salh and :akh in the oath oI allegiance
given by the great 6ab Jarr ibn Abdullh to the Prophet (7) is an indication oI its importance in the
Islmic scheme oI things and in deciding a person`s Iate in the HereaIter. It is thereIore a basic
characteristic oI the true Muslim who is concerned about his destiny on the Day oI Judgement.
In Islm, responsibility is a general duty that applies to men and women alike, each person has
responsibilities within his or her own social sphere, as the Prophet (7) explained:
Ecch cf ycu i: c :hepherc cnc ecch cf ycu i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck. Ihe |eccer i: c :hepherc cnc i:
re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck: c mcn i: Ihe :hepherc cf hi: fcmi|y cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck: c wcmcn i: Ihe
:hepherc in Ihe hcu:e cf her hu:Lcnc cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr her f|cck: c :ervcnI i: Ihe :hepherc cf hi:
mc:Ier: wec|Ih cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr iI. Ecch cf ycu i: c :hepherc cnc i: re:pcn:iL|e fcr hi: f|cck."
389
II we understand this, we will realize that the woman`s responsibility includes oIIering sincere advice
to everyone around her who can beneIit Irom it.
She Guides Others to Righteous eeds
The Muslim woman whose soul has been puriIied by Islm and cleansed oI the stains oI selIishness
and love oI show guides others to righteous deeds when she knows oI them, so that goodness will come to
light and people will beneIit Irom it. It is all the same to her whether the good deed is done by herselI or
by others, because she knows that the one who guides others to do righteous deeds will be rewarded like
the one who does the actual deed, as the Prophet (7) said:
Whcever guice: cIher: Ic cc gccc wi|| hcve c rewcrc |ike IhcI cf Ihe per:cn whc cce: Ihe gccc ceec."
390
The Muslim woman is the least likely to keep goodness to herselI, or to boast to others about doing
good, which is the attitude oI selIish women who love to show oII. It is enough Ior the Muslim woman
who guides others to do good to know that she will be rewarded by Allh (,) in either case, and Ior the
true Muslim woman, storing up reward with Allh (,) is more important than Iame and a good
reputation. In this way, goodness spreads throughout the community, and every person will have the
opportunity to do whatever Allh (,) helps him or her to do.
How many oI these deadly psychological disorders are preventing good Irom being spread in society!
Eor the people who are suIIering Irom them hope that they alone will undertake good deeds to the
exclusion oI others, but circumstances prevent them Irom doing so. So goodness and beneIits remain
locked up waiting Ior the opportunity that never comes. The true Muslim, man or woman, who seeks to
please Allh (,) and earn reward Irom Him is Iree Irom such disorders. The true Muslim guides people
to do good deeds as soon as he or she is aware oI an opportunity, and thus he or she earns a reward Irom
Allh (,) equal to the reward oI the one who does the good deed itselI.
She oes not Cheut, eceive, or Stub in the Buck
The sincere Muslim woman Ior whom truthIulness has become a deeply-rooted characteristic does not
cheat, deceive or stab in the back, because these worthless characteristics are beneath her. They contradict
the values oI truthIulness, and do not beIit the Muslim woman. TruthIulness requires an attitude oI
sincerity, straightIorwardness, loyalty and Iairness, which leaves no room Ior cheating, lying, trickery,
deceit or betrayal.
389
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 10/61, Kitb al-imarah wal-qada, bb al-rai masul an riatihi.
390
6a Muslim, 13/38, Kitb al-imarah, bb fadl ianah al-gha:i fi sabil-Allh.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
115
The Muslim woman who is Iilled with the guidance oI Islm is truthIul by nature, and has a complete
aversion to cheating, deceiving and back-stabbing, which she sees as a sign oI a person`s being beyond
the pale oI Islm, as the Prophet (7) stated in the adth narrated by Muslim:
Whcever Lecr: crm: cgcin:I u: i: ncI cne cf u:, cnc whcever checI: u: i: ncI cne cf u:."
391
/cccrcing Ic cncIher repcrI, c|:c ncrrcIec Ly Mu:|im, Ihe FrcpheI {7) pc::ec Ly c pi|e cf fccc {in Ihe
mcrkeI), puI hi: hcnc in iI cnc fe|I ccmpne:: {c|Ihcugh Ihe :urfcce cf Ihe pi|e wc: cry). He :cic, C
cwner cf Ihe fccc, whcI i: Ihi:?" Ihe mcn :cic, lI wc: ccmcgec Ly rcin, C Me::enger cf /||h." He :cic,
/nc ycu cic ncI puI Ihe rcin-ccmcgec fccc cn Icp :c IhcI pecp|e ccu|c :ee iIl Whcever checI: u: i:
ncI cne cf u:."
392
Muslim society is based on purity oI human Ieeling, sincerity towards every Muslim, and IulIilment oI
promises to every member oI the society. II any cheats or traitors are Iound in that society, they are most
certainly alien elements whose character is in direct contrast to the noble character oI true Muslims.
Islm views cheating, deception and back-stabbing as heinous crimes which will be a source oI shame
to the guilty party both in this world and the next. The Prophet (7) announced that on the Day oI
Resurrection, every traitor would be raised carrying the Ilag oI his betrayal and a caller will cry out in the
vast arena oI judgement, pointing to him and drawing attention to him:
Every IrciIcr wi|| hcve c Lcnner cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn, cnc iI wi|| Le :cic: 'Ihi: i: Ihe LeIrcyer cf :c -
cnc-:c."
393
How great will be the shame oI those traitors, men and women, who thought that their betrayal was
long since Iorgotten, and now here it is, spread out Ior all to see and carried aloIt on banners held by their
own hands.
Their shame on the Day oI Judgement will increase when they see the Prophet (7), who is the hope oI
intercession on that great and terrible Day, standing in opposition to them, because they have committed the
heinous crime oI betrayal, which is a crime oI such enormity that it will deprive them oI the mercy oI Allh
(,) and the intercession oI the Prophet (7):
/||h {,), mcy He Le exc|Iec, :cic: 'Ihere cre Ihree whcm l wi|| cppc:e cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn: c
mcn whc gcve hi: wcrc, cnc Ihen LeIrcyec: c mcn whc :c|c c free mcn inIc :|cvery cnc kepI Ihe
mcney: cnc c mcn whc hirec :cmecne, Lenefi IIec frcm hi: |cLcur, Ihen cic ncI pcy hi: wcge:."
394
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by Islm steers clear oI all Iorms oI deceit and back-
stabbing. They exist in many Iorms in the world oI modern women, but the Muslim woman values herselI
too highly to include herselI among those cheating, deceiving women whom the Prophet (7) considered
to be hypocrites:
Ihere cre fcur fecIure:, whcever hc: c|| cf Ihem i: c Irue hypccriIe, cnc whcever hc: cne cf Ihem hc:
cne cf Ihe uc|iIie: cf c hypccriIe unIi| he give: iI up: when he i: Iru:Iec, he i: unfciIhfu|: when he :peck:,
he Ie||: |ie:: when he mcke: c prcmi:e, he prcve: Irecchercu:: cnc when he ci:puIe:, he re:crI: Ic
:|cncer."
395
She Keeps her Promises
One oI the noble attitudes oI the true Muslim woman is that she keeps her promises. This attitude is the
companion oI truthIulness and indeed stems naturally Irom it.
Keeping promises is a praiseworthy attitude, one that indicates the high level oI civility attained by the
woman who exhibits it. It helps her to succeed in liIe, and earns her the love, respect and appreciation oI
others.
391
6a Muslim, 2/108, Kitb al-mn, bb qawl al-Nabi man ghashshana fa lavsa minna.
392
6a Muslim, 2/109, Kitb al-mn, bb man ghashshana fa lavsa minna.
393
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 10/71-73, Kitb al-imarah wal-qada, bb waid al-ghadr; Rivd al-6alin, 705, bb tam
al-ghadr.
394
Fat al-Br, 4/417, Kitb al-buvu, bb ithm man baa hurran.
395
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/74, Kitb al-mn, bb alamat al-nifq.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
116
The eIIects oI this attitude in instilling moral and psychological virtues in girls and boys are not
unknown; iI they see their mothers always keeping their promises, this is the best example that they can
be given.
Eor the Muslim woman, keeping promises is not just the matter oI social niceties, something to boast
about among her Iriends and peers; it is one oI the basic Islmic characteristics and one oI the clearest
indicators oI sound Iaith and true Islm. Many texts oI the Qur`n and Sunnah emphasize the importance oI
this quality: C ycu whc Le|ievel Fu|fi| c|| cL|igcIicn:. (Qur`n 5: 1)
/nc fu|fi| every engcgemenI, fcr |every] engcgemenI wi|| Le enuirec inIc |cn Ihe Dcy cf
Feckcning]. (Qur`n 17: 34)
This is a deIinitive command Irom Allh (,) to His believing servants, men and women alike, to keep
their promises and to IulIil whatever obligations those promises entail. There is no room Ior escaping or
dodging this responsibility. It does not beIit the Muslim who has committed himselI or herselI to then try
to get out oI keeping the promise. It is his duty to keep his word. In some vt, the word Ior 'promise is
connected by the grammatical structure oI ifah (genitive) to Allh (,) HimselI, as an indication oI its
dignity and sanctity, and oI the obligation to keep promises:
Fu|fi| Ihe CcvencnI cf /||h, when ycu hcve enIerec inIc iI. (Qur`n 16: 91)
Islm dislikes those prattlers who carelessly make promises without Iollowing through and keeping
their word:
C ycu whc Le|ievel Why :cy ycu IhcI which ycu cc ncI? Grievcu:|y ccicu: i: iI in Ihe :ighI cf /||h
IhcI ycu :cy IhcI which ycu cc ncI. (Qur`n 61: 2-3)
Allh (,) does not like His believing servants, male or Iemale, to sink to the level oI empty words,
promises given with no intention oI IulIilment, and all manner oI excuses to avoid upholding the
commitments made. Such conduct does not beIit believing men and women. The tone oI the question
asked in this vh is an expression oI the extreme disapproval incurred by those believers who commit the
sin oI saying that which they do not do.
The Prophet (7) said:
Ihe :ign: cf c hypccriIe cre Ihree: when he :peck:, he |ie:: when he mcke: c prcmi:e, he Lreck: iI: cnc
when he i: enIru:Iec wiIh :cmeIhing, he LeIrcy: IhcI Iru:I."
396
According to a report given by Muslim, he (7) added:
Even if he fc:I:, prcy: cnc Ihink: IhcI he i: c Mu:|im."
397
The level oI a woman`s Islm is not determined only by acts oI worship and rituals, but also the extent
to which her character is inIluenced by the teachings and high values oI Islm. She does only that which
will please Allh (,). The Muslim woman who understands and adheres to the teachings oI Islm does
not break her promises, or cheat others, or betray them, because such acts contradict the morals and
values oI true Islm, and such attitudes are only Iound among men and women who are hypocrites.
Let them know this, those women who tell lies to their own children, who make promises then go back
on their word, thus planting the seeds oI dishonesty and promise-breaking in their children`s hearts. Let
them know this, those women who make empty, meaningless promises and attach no importance to the
word oI honour to which they have committed themselves, lest by such carelessness they become
hypocrites themselves and earn the punishment oI the hypocrites which, as is well known, is a place in the
lowest level oI Hell.
396
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/72, Kitb al-mn, bb alamt al-nifq.
397
6a Muslim, 2/48, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn khil al-munfiq.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
117
She is Not u Hypocrite
The true Muslim woman is Irank and open in her words and opinions, and is the Iurthest removed Irom
hypocrisy, Ilattery and Ialse praise, because she knows Irom the teachings oI Islm that hypocrisy is
arm, and does not beIit the true Muslim.
Ihe FrcpheI {7) hc: prcIecIec u: frcm fc||ing inIcIhe mire cf hypccri:y cnc f|cIIery. When 8cn 'bmir
ccme Ic him cnc prci:ec him, :cying, Ycu cre cur mc:Ier," he :cic, Ihe cn|y Mc:Ier i: /|| h {,)." When
Ihey :cic, Ycu cre Ihe mc:I exce||enI cnc grecIe:I cf u:," he :cic, Scy whcI ycu wcnI, cr c pcrIcf iI,
LuI cc ncI :peck |ike cgenI: cf Sncytn. l cc ncI wcnI ycu Ic rci:e me cLcve Ihe :IcIu: Ic which /|| h {,)
hc: cppcinIec me. l cm Muhcmmcc iLn '/Lcu|| h, Hi: S|cve cnc Me::enger."
398
The Prophet (7) prevented people Irom exaggerating in their praise oI others, some oI whom may
not even be deserving oI praise, when he Iorbade them to describe him as 'master, 'excellent and
'great, at the time when he was without doubt the greatest oI the Messengers, the master oI the Muslims
and the greatest and most excellent oI them. He did this because he understood that iI the door oI praise
was opened to its Iullest extent, it might lead to dangerous types oI hypocrisy which are unacceptable to a
pure Islmic spirit and the truth on which this religion is based. He Iorbade the 6abah to praise a man
to his Iace, lest the one who spoke the words crossed the boundary oI hypocrisy, or the object oI his
admiration be Iilled with Ieelings oI pride, arrogance, superiority and selI-admiration.
Bukhr and Muslim narrate that Ab Bakrah (W) said:
/ mcn prci:ec cncIher mcn in Ihe pre:ence cf Ihe FrcpheI { 7), whc :cic: 'Wce Ic ycul Ycu hcve cuI
ycur ccmpcnicn: IhrccIl :everc| Iime:. Ihen he :cic: 'Whcever cf ycu in:i:I: cn prci:ing hi: LrcIher, |eI
him :cy: l Ihink Sc-cnc-:c i: :uch-cnc-:uch, cnc /||h {,) kncw: Ihe exccI IruIh, cnc l cc ncI ccnfirm
cnycne: gccc ccncucI Lefcre /|| h {,), LuI l Ihink him Ic Le :uch-cnc-:uch," if he kncw: IhcI Ihi: i: Ihe
cc:e."
399
II praising a person cannot be avoided, then it must be sincere and based on truth. The praise should be
moderate, reserved and without any exaggeration. This is the only way in which a society can rid itselI oI
the diseases oI hypocrisy, lies, deceit and sycophancy.
ln A'-Acc c'-Mu|cc, 8ukhr repcrI: frcm Fcj frcm Mihjcn c|-/:|cm IhcI Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc Mihjcn
were in Ihe mc:ue when Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cw c mcn prcying, Lcwing cnc prc:IrcIing, cnc c:kec,
Whc i: IhcI?" Mihjcn Legcn Ic prci:e Ihe mcn, :cying, C Me::enger cf /|| h, he i: :c-cnc-:c, cnc i:
:uch-cnc-:uch." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: SIcp. Dc ncI |eI him hecr ycu, cr iI wi|| Le hi: ccwnfc||l"
400
/cccrcing Ic c repcrI given Ly /mcc, Mihjcn :cic: C Me::enger cf /|| h, Ihi: i: :c-cnc-:c, cne cf Ihe
Le:I pecp|e cf Mccnch," cr cne cf Ihe pecp|e whc prcy: Ihe mc:I in Mccnch." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic:
Dc ncI |eI him hecr ycu, cr iI wi|| Le hi: ccwnfc||l" - Iwc cr Ihree Iime: - Ycu cre cn ummch fcr whcm l
wi:h ec:e."
401
The Prophet (7) described hearing praise as being a person`s downIall, because oI its proIound
psychological impact on the human mind which by nature loves to hear such words. So the one who is
praised begins to Ieel superior to and to look down on other people. II such praise is repeated by the
hypocrites and Ilatterers - and how many oI them there are surrounding those in positions oI power and
authority! - this will satisIy a strong desire in his heart and will become something he wants to hear
regularly. Then he will hate to hear criticism and advice, and will only accept praise, thanks and
adulation. No wonder, then, that truth will be lost, justice will be eliminated, morality will be destroyed
and society will be corrupted.
398
pavt al-6abah 3/99.
399
Fat al-Br, 10/476, Kitb al-adb, bb ma vukrah min al-tamaduh; 6a Muslim, 18/126, Kitb al-:uhd, bb al-nahi an ifrat fil-
madh.
400
See Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/433, Bb vuhtha fi wufh al-maddhin.
401
Reported by Amad, 5/32; its isnd is a.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
118
Eor this reason the Prophet (7) ordered his Companions to throw dust in the Iaces oI those who
praise others, lest their number, and hence Ilattery and hypocrisy, increase, which would have had
disastrous consequences Ior the whole Muslim society.
The 6abah, may Allh (,) be pleased with them, used to Ieel upset when they heard others praising
them, although they were the most deserving oI such praise, because they Ieared its disastrous
consequences and adhered to the basic principles oI Islm that abhor such cheap, empty expressions.
NaIi (W) and others said: 'A man said to Ibn Umar (W): O you who are the best oI people!` or O son
oI the best oI people!` Ibn Umar said: I am not the best oI people, neither am I the son oI the best oI
people. I am just one oI the servants oI Allh (,): I hope Ior His (mercy) and I Iear His (wrath). By Allh
(,), you will continue to pursue a man (with your praise) until you bring about his downIall.`
402
This is a wise statement Irom a great 6ab oI the utmost Islmic sensibilities, who adhered to Islmic
teachings both in secret and openly.
The 6abah understood precisely the Prophet`s guidance telling them that their words and deeds
should be Iree Irom hypocrisy. The great diIIerence between that which is done sincerely Ior the sake oI
Allh (,) and that which is merely hypocrisy and Ilattery was abundantly clear to them.
Ibn Umar (W) said that some people said to him: 'When we enter upon our rulers we tell them
something diIIerent Irom what we say when we have leIt them. Ibn Umar said: 'At the time oI the
Prophet (7), we used to consider this to be hypocrisy.
403
The true Muslim woman is protected by her religion Irom sinking to the dangerous level oI hypocrisy
to which many women today have sunk who think that they have not overstepped the bounds oI polite
Ilattery. They do not realize that there is a type oI Ilattery that is arm and that they could sink so low
without realizing it and Iall into the sin oI that despised hypocrisy which may lead to their ultimate doom.
This happens when they keep quiet and reIrain Irom telling the truth, or when they praise those who do
not deserve it.
She is Churucterized by Shyness [D\|
Women are shy by nature, and what I mean here by shyness is the same as the deIinition oI the ulam
`: the noble attitude that always motivates a person to keep away Irom what is abhorrent and to avoid
Ialling short in one`s duties towards those who have rights over one. The Prophet (7) was the highest
example oI shyness, as the great 6ab Ab Sad al-Khudr described him:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) wc: mcre :hy Ihcn Ihe virgin hicing cwcy in her cwn rccm. lf he :cw
:cmeIhing he ci:|ikec, we wcu|c kncw iI cn|y frcm hi: fccic| expre::icn."
404
The Prophet (7) praised the attitude oI shyness in a number oI adths, and explained that it is pure
goodness, both Ior the one who possesses this virtue and Ior the society in which he lives.
Imrn ibn Huayn (W) said: 'The Prophet (7) said: 'Shyne:: Lring: ncIhing LuI gccc."
405
According to a report given by Muslim, he (7) said: Shyne:: i: c|| gccc."
406
Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: FciIh hc: :evenIy-ccc Lrcnche:. Ihe grecIe:I cf Ihem i: :cying L |'cnc |''-A''n,
cnc Ihe |ec:I cf Ihem i: remcving :cmeIhing hcrmfu| frcm Ihe rccc. Shyne:: i: cne cf Ihe Lrcnche: cf
fciIh."
407
The true Muslim woman is shy, polite, gentle and sensitive to the Ieelings oI others. She never says or
does anything that may harm people or oIIend their dignity.
The attitude oI shyness that is deeply-rooted in her nature is supported by her understanding oI the
Islmic concept oI shyness, which protects her against going wrong or deviating Irom Islmic teachings
in her dealings with others. She does not only Ieel shy in Iront oI people, but she also Ieels shy beIore
402
pavt al-6abah, 3/103.
403
Fat al-Br, 13/170, Kitb al-akm, bb ma vukrah min thana al-sultn.
404
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 364, Kitb al-adb, bb al-av wa fadlulu.
405
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivdh al-6alin, 363, Kitb al-adb, bb fil-av wa fadluhu.
406
6a Muslim, 2/7, Kitb al-mn, bb al-av shubah min al-mn.
407
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 363, Kitb al-adb, bb 363.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
119
Allh (,). She is careIul not to let her Iaith become contaminated by wrongdoing, because shyness is one
oI the branches oI Iaith. This is the highest level that may be reached by the woman who is characterized
by shyness. In this way she is distinguished Irom the Western woman who has lost the characteristic oI
shyness.
She is Proud und oes not Beg
One oI the Ieatures that distinguish the Muslim woman who has truly understood the guidance oI Islm
is the Iact that she is proud and does not beg. II she is Iaced with diIIiculties or is aIIlicted with poverty,
she seeks reIuge in patience and selI-pride, whilst redoubling her eIIorts to Iind a way out oI the crisis oI
poverty that has beIallen her. It never occurs to her to put herselI in the position oI begging and asking Ior
help, because Islm thinks too highly oI the true Muslim woman to allow her to put herselI in such a
position. The Muslim woman is urged to be proud, independent and patient - then Allh (,) will help her
and give her independence and patience:
Whcever refrcin: frcm c:king frcm pecp|e, /|| h {,) wi|| he|p him. Whcever Irie: Ic Le incepencenI, /||h
{,) wi|| enrich him. Whcever Irie: Ic Le pcIienI, /|| h {,) wi|| give him pcIience, cnc nc-cne i: given c
LeIIer cr vc:Ier gifI Ihcn pcIience."
408
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm knows that Islm has given the poor some
rights over the wealth oI the rich, who should give Ireely without reminders or insults. But at the same
time, Islm wants the poor to be independent and not to rely on this right. The higher hand is better than
the lower hand, so all Muslims, men and women, should always work so that their hand will not be the
lower one. That is more beIitting and more honourable to them. So those men and women who have little
should increase their eIIorts and not be dependent on charity and hand-outs. This will save them Irom
losing Iace. Whenever he spoke Irom the minbar about charity and reIraining Irom begging, the Prophet
(7) would remind the Muslims that 'the higher hand is better than the lower, the higher hand is the one
that spends, whilst the lower hand is the one that begs.
409
She oes not InterIere in Thut Which oes not Concern Her
The true Muslim woman is wise and discerning; she does not interIere in that which does not concern
her, nor does she concern herselI with the private lives oI the women around her. She does not stick her
nose into their aIIairs or Iorce herselI on them in any way, because this could result in sin or blame on her
part. By seeking to avoid interIering in that which does not concern her, she protects herselI Irom vain
and idle talk, as she is adhering to a sound Islmic principle that raises the Muslim above such
Ioolishness, Iurnishes him with the best oI attitudes, and guides him towards the best way oI dealing with
others:
/ :ign cf c per:cn: Leing c gccc Mu:|im i: IhcI he :hcu|c |ecve c|cne IhcI which cce: ncI ccncern
him."
410
Ab Hurayrah (W) reported that the Prophet (7) said:
/||h {,) |ike: Ihree Ihing: fcr ycu cnc ci:|ike: Ihree Ihing:. He |ike: fcr ycu Ic wcr:hip Him, ncI Ic
c::ccicIe cnyIhing wiIh Him, cnc Ic hc|c fc:I, c|| I cgeIher, Ly Ihe Fcpe which He {:IreIche: cuI fcr ycu),
cnc ncI Ic Le civicec cmcng ycur:e|ve: |cf. A' '|nn 3:103]. /nc He ci:|ike: fcr ycu Ic pc:: cn :Icrie:
cnc gc::ip, Ic c:k Icc mcny ue:Iicn:, cnc Ic wc:Ie mcney."
411
The divinely-guided society which has been Iormed by Islm has no room Ior passing on stories and
gossip, asking too many questions, or interIering in the private aIIairs oI others, because the members oI
such a society are too busy with something much more important, which is the establishing oI the word oI
Allh (,) on earth, taking the banner oI Islm to the Iour corners oI the earth, and spreading its values
408
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 35, Bb al-sabr.
409
6a Muslim, 7/124, Kitb al-:akt, bb bavn an al-vad al-uliva khavr min al-vad al-sufla.
410
Reported by Tirmidh, 3/382, Abwb al-:uhd, 8; Ibn Mjah, 2/1316, Kitb al-fitan, bb kaff al-lisn an al-fitnah.
411
6a Muslim, 12/10, Kitb al-aqdivah, bb al-nahi an kathrah al-masail min ghavri hafah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
120
among mankind. Those who are engaged in such great missions do not have the time to indulge in such
sins.
She ReIruins Irom Slundering the Honour oI Others und Seeking out Their Iuults
The God-Iearing Muslim woman restrains her tongue and does not seek out people`s Iaults or slander
their honour, and she hates to see such talk spread in the Muslim community. She acts in accordance with
the guidance oI the Qur`n and Sunnah, which issue a severe warning to those corrupt men and women
who indulge in slandering the honour oI others, that they will suIIer a terrible punishment in this world
and the next:
Ihc:e whc |cve |Ic :ee] :ccncc| puL|i:hec Lrccccc:I cmcng Ihe 8e|iever:, wi|| hcve c grievcu:
Fenc|Iy in Ihi: |ife cnc in Ihe HerecfIer: /||h kncw:, cnc ycu kncw ncI. (Qur`n 24: 19)
The one who indulges in the slander oI people`s honour, and spreads news oI scandal throughout the
community is just like the one who commits the scandalous deed, as Al ibn Ab lib (W) stated:
Ihe cne whc Ie||: Ihe new: cf :ccncc| cnc Ihe cne whc :precc: Ihe new: cre euc||y :infu|."
412
The true Muslim woman understands that the human shortcomings oI some weak or careless women
cannot be dealt with by seeking out their Iaults and mistakes and broadcasting them throughout the
community. The way to deal with them is by oIIering sound advice to the women concerned, encouraging
them to obey Allh (,), and teaching them to hate disobedience themselves, always being Irank without
hurting their Ieelings or being conIrontational.
Kind words and a gentle approach in explaining the truth opens hearts and minds, and leads to complete
spiritual and physical submission. Eor this reason, Allh (,) Iorbids the Muslims to spy on one another and
seek out one another`s Iaults:
./nc :py ncI cn ecch cIher. (Qur`n 49: 12)
Exposing people`s shortcomings, seeking out their Iaults, spying on them and gossiping about them are
actions which not only hurt the people concerned; they also harm the greater society in which they live.
ThereIore the Qur`n issued a stern warning to those who love to spread scandal in the community, because
whenever scandal is spread in a community, people`s honour is insulted, and rumours, plots and suspicions
increase, then the disease oI promiscuity becomes widespread, people become immune to acts oI
disobedience and sin, the bonds oI brotherhood are broken, and hatred, enmity, conspiracies and corruption
arise. This is what the Prophet (7) reIerred to when he said:
lf ycu :eek cuI Ihe fcu|I: cf Ihe Mu:|im:, ycu wi|| ccrrupI Ihem, cr ycu wi|| necr|y ccrrupI Ihem."
413
So the Prophet (7) issued a stern warning to the Muslims against the danger oI slandering people`s
honour and exposing their Iaults. He threatened that the one who takes such matters lightly would himselI
be exposed, even iI he were hiding in the innermost part oI his home:
'Do not hurt the Ieelings oI the servants oI Allh (,); do not embarrass them; do not seek to expose
their Iaults. Whoever seeks to expose the Iaults oI his Muslim brother, Allh (,) will seek to expose his
Iaults and expose him, even iI he hides in the innermost part oI his home.
414
The Prophet (7) was deeply oIIended by those who were nosey, suspicious or doubtIul, or who sought
to undermine people`s reputation and honour. He would become very angry whenever he heard any news oI
these aggressors who hurt others. Ibn Abbs (W) described the anger oI the Prophet (7) and his harshness
towards those who slandered the honour oI others:
'The Prophet (7) gave a speech that even reached the ears oI virgins in their private rooms. He said:
O you who have spoken the words oI Iaith, but Iaith has not penetrated your hearts! Do not hurt the
Ieelings oI the believers and do not seek out their Iaults. Whoever seeks out the Iaults oI his Muslim
412
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/419, Bb man samia bi fahishah fa afshaha.
413
Reported with a a isnd by Ab Dwd, 4/375, Kitb al-adb, bb fi al-nahi an al-tafassus.
414
Reported with a asan isnd by Amad, 5/279.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
121
brother, Allh (,) will seek out his Iaults, and whoever`s Iaults are sought out by Allh (,) will be
exposed, even iI he is in the innermost part oI his house.
415
These harsh words, which were even heard by the virgins secluded in their private rooms, reIlect the
anger Ielt by the Prophet (7). He started his speech with the words 'O you who have spoken the words
oI Iaith, but Iaith has not penetrated your hearts! How great is the sin oI those who are included among
those whose hearts are deprived oI the blessing oI Iaith!
She oes not Show oII or Boust
The Muslim woman does not slip into the error oI pride, boasting and showing oII, because her
knowledge oI Islm protects her Irom such errors. She understands that the very essence oI this religion is
sincerity towards Allh (,) in word and deed; any trace oI a desire to show oII will destroy reward,
cancel out good deeds, and bring humiliation on the Day oI Judgement.
Worshipping Allh (,) is the goal behind the creation oI mankind and finn, as the Qur`n says:
l hcve cn|y crecIec |nn: cnc men IhcI Ihey mcy :erve Me. (Qur`n 51: 56)
But this worship cannot be accepted unless it is done sincerely Ior the sake oI Allh (,):
/nc Ihey hcve Leen ccmmcncec nc mcre Ihcn Ihi:: Ic wcr:hip /||h, cffering Him :incere
cevcIicn, Leing Irue |in fciIh]. (Qur`n 98: 5)
When a Muslim woman`s deeds are contaminated with the desire to boast or show oII or seek Iame
and reputation, the good deeds will be invalidated. Her reward will be destroyed and she will be in a clear
state oI loss. The Qur`n issues a clear and stern warning to those who spend their wealth then remind the
beneIiciaries oI their charity oI their giIts in a way that hurts their Ieelings and oIIends their dignity:
C ycu whc Le|ievel Ccnce| ncI ycur chcriIy Ly remincer: cf ycur generc:iIy cr Ly injury - |ike Ihc:e
whc :penc Iheir :uL:Icnce Ic Le :een cf men, LuI Le|ieve neiIher in /||h ncr Ihe Lc:I Dcy. Ihey cre
in FcrcL|e |ike c hcrc, Lcrren rcck, cn which i: c |iII|e :ci|: cn iI fc||: hecvy rcin, which |ecve: iI |ju:I] c
Lcre rcck. Ihey wi|| Le cL|e Ic cc ncIhing wiIh whcI Ihey hcve ecrnec. /nc /||h guice: ncI Ihc:e
whc rejecI fciIh. (Qur`n 2: 264)
Reminding the poor oI one`s generosity cancels out the reward oI these acts oI charity, just as pouring
water washes away all traces oI soil on a smooth stone. The last part oI the vh presents the Irightening
admonition that those who show oII do not deserve the guidance oI Allh (,) and are counted as kfirs:
/nc /||h guice: ncI Ihc:e whc rejecI fciIh.
Such people`s main concern is to appear to people to be doing good works; they are not concerned
with earning the pleasure oI Allh (,). Allh (,) has described them as doing apparently good deeds:
Ic Le :een cf men, LuI |iII|e cc Ihey hc|c /||h in rememLrcnce. (Qur`n 4: 142)
Thus their deeds will be thrown back in their Iaces, because they associated something or someone
else with Allh (,), and Allh (,) does not accept any deeds except those which are done purely Ior His
sake, as is stated in the adth oI Ab Hurayrah (W), in which he reports that he heard the Messenger oI
Allh (7) say:
/||h {,) :cic: 'l cm :c :e|f-:ufficienI IhcI l cm in nc neec cf hcving cn c::ccicIe. Ihu: he whc cce: cn
ccIicn fcr :cmecne e|:e: :cke c: we|| c: Mine :hc|| hcve IhcI ccIicn rencuncec Ly Me Ic Ihe cne whcm
he c::ccicIec wiIh Me."
416
The true Muslim woman is cautious, when doing good deeds, to avoid Ialling into the dangerous trap
into which so many women who seek to do good have Iallen, without even realizing it, by seeking praise
Ior their eIIorts and honourable mention on special occasions. Theirs is a terrible Iall indeed.
The Prophet (7) has clearly explained this issue and has reIerred to the terrible humiliation that those
who show oII will suIIer on that awIul Day wherecn neiIher wec|Ih ncr :cn: wi|| cvci|, LuI cn|y he
415
Reported by A-abarn; the men oI its isnd are thiqt. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/94.
416
6a Muslim, 18/115, Kitb al-:uhd, bb tarm al-riv.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
122
|wi|| prc:per] IhcI Lring: Ic /||h c :cunc hecrI. (Qur`n 26: 88-89).
This is mentioned in another adth in which Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
l hecrc Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cy: 'Ihe fir:I per:cn Ic Le jucgec cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn wi|| Le c mcn
whc wc: mcrIyrec. He wi|| Le LrcughI fcrIh cnc /|| h {,) wi|| reminc him cf Hi: L|e::ing:, cnc he wi||
reccgnize Ihem. Ihen he wi|| Le c:kec, WhcI cic ycu cc wiIh Ihem?" He wi|| :cy, l fcughI fcr Ycur :cke
unIi| l wc: mcrIyrec." /||h {,) wi|| :cy, Ycu hcve |iec. Ycu cn|y fcughI :c IhcI pecp|e wcu|c :cy, 'He i:
ccurcgecu:, cnc Ihey cic :cyiI." Ihen He wi|| crcer IhcI he Le crcggec cn hi: fcce cnc Ihrcwn inIc Ihe
Fire. Ihen Ihere wi|| Le c mcn whc :Iuciec much cnc IcughI cIher:, cnc reciIec Cur n. He wi|| Le
LrcughI fcrIh cnc /||h {,) wi|| reminc cf Hi: L|e::ing:, cnc he wi|| reccgnize Ihem. Ihen he wi|| Le c:kec,
WhcI cic ycu cc wiIh Ihem?" He wi|| :cy, l :Iuciec much, cnc IcughI cIher:, cnc reciIec Cur n fcr
Ycur :cke. /||h {,) wi|| :cy, Ycu hcve |iec. Ycu :Iuciec :c IhcI pecp|e wcu|c :cy, 'He i: c :chc|cr, cnc
ycu reciIec Curn :c IhcI Ihey wcu|c :cy, 'He i: c q ', cnc Ihey cic :cy iI." Ihen He wi|| crcer IhcI he
Le crcggec cn hi: fcce cnc Ihrcwn inIc Ihe Fire. Ihen Ihere wi|| Le c mcn Ic whcm /|| h {,) gcve c||
Iype: cf wec|Ih in cLunccnce. He wi|| Le LrcughI fcrIh cnc /|| h {,) wi|| reminc him cf Hi: L|e::ing: cnc
he wi|| reccgnize Ihem. Ihen he wi|| Le c:kec, WhcI cic ycu cc wiIh Ihem?" He wi|| :cy, l hcve never
:een cny wcy in which Ycu wcu|c |ike mcney Ic Le :penI fcr Ycur :cke wiIhcuI :pencing iI." /|| h {,) wi||
:cy, Ycu hcve |iec. Ycu cic IhcI :c pecp|e wcu|c :cy, 'he i: genercu:, cnc Ihey cic :cy iI." Ihen He wi||
crcer IhcI he Le crcggec cn hi: fcce cnc Ihrcwn inIc Ihe Fire.""
417
The intelligent Muslim woman who is truly guided by the Qur`n and Sunnah careIully avoids slipping
into the sin oI boasting in any oI its many Iorms. She is ever keen to devote all oI her deeds exclusively to
Allh (,), seeking His pleasure, and whenever the appalling spectre oI pride and boasting looms beIore
her, she remembers and adheres to the teaching oI the Prophet (7):
Whcever mcke: c :hcw cf hi: gccc ceec: :c IhcI pecp|e wi|| re:pecI him, /|| h {,) wi|| :hcw whcI i:
Iru|y in hi: hecrI."
418
She is Iuir in Her Judgements
The Muslim woman may be put in a position where she is required to Iorm an opinion or judgement on
some person or matter. This is where her Iaith, common sense and taqw reveal themselves. The true
Muslim woman judges Iairly, and is never unjust, biased or inIluenced by her own whims, no matter what
the circumstances, because she understands Irom the teachings oI Islm that being just and avoiding
unIairness are at the very heart oI her Iaith, as stated by clear and unambiguous texts oI the Qur`n and
Sunnah and expressed in commandments that leave no room Ior prevarication:
/||h cce: ccmmcnc ycu Ic rencer Lcck ycur Iru:I: Ic whcm Ihey cre cue: cnc when ycu jucge
LeIween mcn cnc mcn, IhcI ycu jucge wiIh ju:Iice. (Qur`n 4: 58)
Justice as known by the Muslim and the Islmic society is absolute and pure justice. It is not
inIluenced by Iriendship, hatred or blood ties:
C ycu whc Le|ievel SIcnc cuI firm|y fcr /||h, c: wiIne::e: Ic fcir cec|ing, cnc cc ncI |eI Ihe hcIrec
cf cIher: Ic ycu mcke ycu :werve Ic wrcng cnc cepcrI frcm ju:Iice. 8e ju:I: IhcI i: nexI Ic FieIy: cnc
fecr /||h. Fcr /||h i: we||-ccucinIec wiIh c|| IhcI ycu cc. (Qur`n 5: 8)
Whenever ycu :peck, :peck ju:I|y, even if c necr re|cIive i: ccncernec. (Qur`n 6: 152)
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :eI Ihe highe:I excmp|e cf ju:Iice when U:mch iLn Zcyc ccme Ic inIercece fcr Ihe
Mcknzun wcmcn whc hcc ccmmiIIec IhefI, cnc Ihe FrcpheI { 7) hcc cecicec Ic cuI cff her hcnc. He
:cic: Dc ycu inIercece ccncerning cne cf Ihe puni:hmenI: cecreec Ly /|| h {,), C U:mch? 8y /||h
{,), even if Fimch Ihe ccughIer cf Muhcmmcc hcc ccmmiIIec IhefI, l wcu|c hcve cuI cff her hcnc."
419
This is absolute, universal justice which is applied to great and small, prince and commoner, Muslims
417
6a Muslim, 13/50, Kitb al-imrah, bb man qatila lil-riv wal-sumah.
418
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 10/323, Kitb al-riqaq, bb al-riv wal-samah.
419
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah 10/328, Kitb al-udd, bb qat vad al-sharif wal-mrah wal-shafaah fil-add.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
123
and non-Muslims. None can escape its grasp, and this is what diIIerentiates justice in Islmic societies Irom
justice in other societies.
History records the impressive story that earns the respect oI the institutions oI justice throughout the
world and at all times: the khalfah Al ibn Ab lib stood side by side in court with his Jewish
opponent, who had stolen his shield, on equal terms. The qd, Shurayh, did not let his great respect Ior
the khalfah prevent him Irom asking him to produce evidence that the Jew had stolen his shield. When
the khalfah could not produce such evidence, the qd ruled in Iavour oI the Jew, and against the
khalfah. Islmic history is Iull oI such examples which indicate the extent to which truth and justice
prevailed in the Muslim society.
ThereIore the Muslim woman who truly adheres to the teachings oI her religion is just in word and
deed, and this attitude oI hers is reinIorced by the Iact that truth and justice are an ancient part oI her
heritage and Iairness is a sacred part oI her belieI.
She oes not Oppress or Mistreut Others
To the extent that the Muslim woman is keen to adhere to justice in all her words and deeds, she also
avoids oppression (Dhulm), Ior oppression is darkness in which male and Iemale oppressors will become
lost, as the Prophet (7) explained:
Keep cwcy frcm cppre::icn, fcr cppre::icn i: ccrkne:: cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn."
420
The Iollowing adth quds deIinitively and eloquently expresses Allh`s prohibition oI oppression in a
way that leaves no room Ior prevarication:
C My :|cve:, l hcve fcrLiccen cppre::icn fcr My:e|f cnc hcve mcce iI fcrLiccen cmcng:I ycu, :c cc
ncI cppre:: cne cncIher."
421
II Allh (,), the Creator, the Sovereign, the All-Holy, the Exalted in Might, the Omnipotent, the
Almighty, may He be gloriIied, has Iorbidden oppression Ior HimselI, and Iorbidden it Ior His slaves,
does it then beIit His weak, mortal slave to commit the sin oI oppression against his human brother?
The Prophet (7) Iorbade Muslim men and women to commit the sin oI oppression against their
brothers and sisters in Iaith, no matter what the motives, reasons or circumstances might be. It is
unimaginable that a Muslim who is adhering to the strong bonds oI brotherhood could commit such a sin:
/ Mu:|im i: Ihe LrcIher cf cncIher Mu:|im: he cce: ncI cppre:: him cr fcr:cke him when he i: cppre::ec.
Whcever he|p: hi: LrcIher, /||h {,) wi|| he|p him: whcever re|ieve: hi: LrcIher frcm :cme ci:Ire::, /|| h {,)
wi|| re|ieve him cf :cme cf hi: ci:Ire:: cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn: whcever ccver: {Ihe fcu|I cf) c Mu:|im,
/||h {,) wi|| ccver hi: fcu|I: cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn."
422
The Prophet (7) did not stop at Iorbidding oppression against another Muslim, man or woman; he
also Iorbade Muslims to Iorsake a brother in Iaith who was being oppressed, because this act oI Iorsaking
an oppressed brother is in itselI a terrible Iorm oI oppression. He encouraged Muslims to take care oI their
brothers` needs and to ease their suIIering and conceal their Iaults, as iI indicating that the neglect oI these
virtues constitutes oppression, Iailure and injustice with regard to the ties oI brotherhood that bind the
Muslim and his brother.
We have quoted above the texts that enjoin absolute justice, which cannot be inIluenced by love,
hatred, bias or ties oI blood, and other texts that Iorbid absolute injustice. This means that justice is to be
applied to all people, and that injustice to any people is to be avoided, even iI the people concerned are
not Muslim. Allh (,) commands justice and good treatment oI all, and Iorbids oppression and wrong-
doing to all:
/||h fcrLic: ycu ncI, wiIh regcrc Ic Ihc:e whc fighI ycu ncI fcr |ycur] FciIh ncr crive ycu cuI
cf ycur hcme:, frcm cec|ing kinc|y cnc ju:I|y wiIh Ihem: Fcr /||h |cve: Ihc:e whc cre ju:I.
(Qur`n 60: 8)
420
6a Muslim, 16/143, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarm al-dhulm.
421
6a Muslim, 16/132, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarm al-dhulm.
422
Fat al-Br, 5/97, Kitb al-mudhalim, bb la va:lum al-Muslimu al-Muslima wa la vuslimuhu.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
124
She is Iuir Lven to Those Whom She oes Not Like
LiIe sometimes imposes on a Muslim woman the burden oI having to live or mix with women whom
she does not like, such as living in the same house with one oI her in-laws or other women with whom
she has nothing in common and does not get along well. This is something which happens in many
homes, a Iact which cannot be denied, Ior souls are like conscripted soldiers: iI they recognize one
another, they will become Iriends, and iI they dislike one another, they will go their separate ways, as the
Prophet (7) explained in the adth whose authenticity is agreed upon. How should the Muslim woman
who has received a sound Islmic education conduct herselI in such a situation? Should she be negative in
her dealings, judgements and reactions, or should she be gentle, tactIul, Iair and wise, even with those
whom she does not like?
The answer is that the Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islm should be Iair, wise, gentle and
tactIul. She should not expose her true Ieelings towards those she dislikes, or expose her cold Ieelings
towards them in the way she behaves towards them and reacts to them. She should greet such women
warmly, treat them gently and speak soItly to them. This is the attitude adopted by the Prophet (7) and
his Companions. Ab`l-Dard` (W) said:
We :mi|e cI pecp|e even if in cur hecrI: we cre cur:ing Ihem."
423
Urwah ibn al-Zubayr reported that bishah told him:
/ mcn :cughI permi::icn Ic enIer upcn Ihe FrcpheI { 7), cnc he :cic, 'LeI him in, whcI c Lcc :cn cf hi:
IriLe {cr Lcc LrcIher cf hi: IriLe) he i:l When Ihe mcn ccmein, Ihe FrcpheI {7) :pcke Ic him kinc|y cnc
genI|y. l :cic: 'C Me::enger cf /|| h, ycu :cic whcI ycu :cic, Ihen ycu :pcke Ic him kinc|y. He :cic, 'C
'bi:hch, Ihe wcr:I cf Ihe pecp|e in Ihe :ighI cf /|| h {,) i: Ihe cne whc i: :hunnec Ly cIher: cr whcm
pecp|e IrecI nice|y Leccu:e Ihey fecr hi: :hcrp Icngue."
424
Being companionable, Iriendly and kind towards people are among the attributes oI believing men and
women. Being humble, speaking gently and avoiding harshness are approaches that make people like one
another and draw closer to one another, as enjoined by Islm, which encourages Muslims to adopt these
attitudes in their dealings with others.
The true Muslim woman is not swayed by her emotions when it comes to love and hate. She is
moderate, objective, Iair and realistic in her treatment and opinions oI those women whom she does not
like, and allows herselI to be governed by her reason, religion, chivalry and good attitude. She does not
bear witness except to the truth, and she does not judge except with justice, Iollowing the example oI the
Mothers oI the Believers, who were the epitome oI Iairness, justice and taqw in their opinions oI one
another.
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) was the closest oI his wives to the Prophet`s heart, and her
main rival in this regard was Zaynab bint Jash. It was natural Ior there to be jealousy between them, but
this jealousy did not prevent either oI them Irom saying what was true about the other and acknowledging
her qualities without undermining them.
In 6a Muslim, bishah says oI Zaynab:
She wc: Ihe cne whc wc: :cmewhcI euc| in rcnk wiIh me in Ihe eye: cf Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7). l
hcve never :een c wcmcn LeIIer in pieIy Ihcn ZcyncL, cr mcre fecring cf /|| h {,), cr mcre Irue in
:peech, cr mcre fciIhfu| in uphc|cing Ihe Iie: cf kin:hip, cr mcre genercu: in giving chcriIy, cr humL|e
encugh Ic wcrk wiIh her hcnc: in crcer Ic ecrn mcney IhcI :he ccu|c :penc fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,).
Hcwever, :he wc: hcI-Iemperec cnc uick Ic cnger, LuI :he wcu|c :ccn ccc| ccwn cnc Ihen Icke Ihe
mcIIer nc furIher."
425
In 6a Bukhr, in the context oI her telling oI the slander incident (al-ifk) concerning which Allh
(,) HimselI conIirmed her total innocence, bishah reIerred to Zaynab`s testimony concerning her:
423
Fat al-Br, 10/527, Kitb al-adb, bb al-madarah maa al-ns.
424
Fat al-Br, 10/528, Kitb al-adb, bb al-madarah maa al-ns.
425
6a Muslim, 15/206, Kitb fadil al-6abah, bb fadil Umm al-Muminn bishah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
125
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) c:kec ZcyncL LinI Jc:h ccncerning me, :cying: 'C ZcyncL, whcI cic ycu
:ee? WhcI hcve ycu |ecrnI? She :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /|| h, l prcIecI my hecring cnc my :ighI {Ly
refrcining frcm Ie||ing |ie:). l kncw ncIhing LuI gccc cLcuI her." Ihen 'bi:hch :cic: She i: Ihe cne whc
wc: my mcin rivc|, LuI /||h {,) prcIecIec her {frcm Ie||ing |ie:) Leccu:e cf her pieIy."
426
Anyone who reads the books oI srah and the biographies oI the 6abah will Iind many reports oI the
wives oI the Prophets which describe Iairness and mutual praise among co-wives.
Among these reports is Umm Salamah`s comment about Zaynab: 'Zaynab was very dear to the
Prophet (7), and he liked to spend time with her. She was righteous, and Irequently stood in prayer at
night and Iasted during the day. She was skilled (in handicraIts) and used to give everything that she
earned in charity to the poor.
When Zaynab died, bishah said: 'She has departed praiseworthy and worshipping much, the reIuge
oI the orphans and widows.
427
When Maymunah died, bishah said: 'By Allh (,), Maymunah has gone.. But by Allh (,) she
was one oI the most pious oI us and one oI those who was most IaithIul in upholding the ties oI
kinship.
428
The wives oI the Prophet (7) displayed this attitude oI Iairness and justice towards co-wives in spite
oI the jealousy, competition and sensitivity that existed between them. We can only imagine how great
and noble their attitude towards other women was. By their behaviour and attitude, they set the highest
example Ior Muslim woman oI human co-existence that absorbs all hatred by increasing the power oI
reason and controls the strength oI jealousy - iI it is present - by strengthening the Ieelings oI Iairness,
good treatment and a sense oI being above such negative attitudes. Thus the Muslim woman becomes Iair
towards those women whom she does not like, regardless oI the degree oI closeness between them, Iair
when judging them, and wise, rational and tactIul in her treatment oI them.
She oes not Rejoice in the MisIortunes oI Others
The sincere Muslim woman who is truly inIused with Islmic attitudes does not rejoice in the
misIortunes oI anyone, because Schadenfreude (malicious enjoyment oI others` misIortunes) is a vile,
hurtIul attitude that should not exist in the God-Iearing woman who understands the teachings oI her
religion. The Prophet (7) Iorbade this attitude and warned against it:
Dc ncI expre:: mc|icicu: jcy cI Ihe mi:fcrIune cf ycur LrcIher, fcr /|| h {,) wi|| hcve mercy cn him cnc inf|icI
mi:fcrIune cn ycu."
429
There is no room Ior Schadenfreude in the heart oI the Muslim woman in whom Islm has instilled
good manners. Instead, she Ieels sorry Ior those who are Iaced with trials and diIIiculties: she hastens to
help them and is Iilled with compassion Ior their suIIering. Schadenfreude belongs only in those sick
hearts that are deprived oI the guidance oI Islm and that are accustomed to plotting revenge and seeking
out means oI harming others.
She Avoids Suspicion
Another attribute oI the true Muslim woman is that she does not Iorm unIounded suspicions about
anybody. She avoids suspicion as much as possible, as Allh (,) has commanded in the Qur`n:
C ycu whc Le|ievel /vcic :u:picicn c: much |c: pc::iL|e]: fcr :u:picicn in :cme cc:e: i: c :in.
(Qur`n 49: 12)
She understands that by being suspicious oI others she may Iall into sin, especially iI she allows her
imagination Iree rein to dream up possibilities and illusions, and accuses them oI shameIul deeds oI
which they are innocent. This is the evil suspicion which is Iorbidden in Islm.
426
Fat al-Br, 8/455, Kitb al-tafseer, bb law la idh samitimuhu :ann al-muminina wal-muminat bi anfusihim khavran [Al-Noor
24.12]
427
Al-Samt al-Thamin, 110; Al-Istiab, 4/1851; Al-Iabah, 8/93.
428
Al-Iabah, 8/192.
429
Reported by Tirmidh, 4/662, Kitb ift al-qivamah, 54. He said it is a asan a adth.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
126
The Prophet (7) issued a stern warning against suspicion and speculation that has no Ioundation in
reality. He (7) said:
8ewcre cf :u:picicn, fcr :u:picicn i: Ihe fc|:e:I cf :peech."
430
The Prophet (7) counted suspicion as being the Ialsest oI speech. The truly sincere Muslim woman
who is keen to speak the truth always would never even allow words that carry the stench oI untruth to
cross her tongue, so how can she allow herselI to Iall into the trap oI uttering the Ialsest oI speech?
When the Prophet (7) warned against suspicion and called it the Ialsest oI speech, he was directing
the Muslims, men and women, to take people at Iace value, and to avoid speculating about them or
doubting them. It is not the attitude oI a Muslim, nor is it his business, to uncover people`s secrets, to
expose their private aIIairs, or to slander them. Only Allh (,) knows what is in people`s hearts, and can
reveal it or call them to account Ior it, Ior only He knows all that is secret and hidden. A man, in contrast,
knows nothing oI his brother except what he sees him do. This was the approach oI the 6abah and
Tabin who received the pure and unadulterated guidance oI Islm.
Abdul-Razzq reported Irom Abdullh ibn Utbah ibn Masd:
l hecrc 'Umcr iLn c|-KhcL {W) :cy: 'Fecp|e whc u:ec Ic fc||cw Ihe wcny| {Feve|cIicn) cI Ihe Iime cf
Ihe FrcpheI {7), LuI ncw Ihe wcny| hc: cec:ec. Sc ncw we Icke pecp|e cI fcce vc|ue. lf :cmecne
cppecr: gccc Ic u:, we Iru:I him cnc fcrm c c|c:e re|cIicn:hip wiIh him cn Ihe Lc:i: cf whcI we :ee cf hi:
ceec:. We hcve ncIhing Ic cc wiIh hi: inner IhcughI:, which cre fcr /|| h {,) Ic jucge. /nc if :cmecne
cppecr: Lcc Ic u:, we cc ncI Iru:I him cr Le|ieve him, even if he Ie||: u: IhcI hi: inner IhcughI: cre
gccc."
431
The true Muslim woman who is adhering to that which will help her to remember Allh (,) and do
good deeds, will exercise the utmost care in every word she utters concerning her Muslim sister, whether
directly or indirectly. She tries to be sure about every judgement she makes about people, always
remembering the words oI Allh (,):
/nc pur:ue ncI IhcI cf which ycu hcve nc kncw|ecge: fcr every ccI cf hecring, cr cf :eeing, cr cf
|fee|ing in] Ihe hecrI wi|| Le enuirec inIc |cn Ihe Dcy cf Feckcning]. (Qur`n 17: 36)
So she does not transgress this wise and deIinitive prohibition: she does not speak except with
knowledge, and she does not pass judgement except with certainty.
The true Muslim woman always reminds herselI oI the watching angel who is assigned to record every
word she utters and every judgement she Iorms, and this increases her Iear oI Ialling into the sin oI
suspicion:
NcI c wcrc cce: he uIIer, LuI Ihere i: c :enIine| Ly him, reccy |Ic ncIe iI]. (Qur`n 50: 18)
The alert Muslim woman understands the responsibility she bears Ior every word she utters, because she
knows that these words may raise her to a position where Allh (,) is pleased with her, or they may earn
her His wrath, as the Prophet (7) said:
/ mcn ccu|c uIIer c wcrc IhcI p|ec:e: /||h {,), cnc ncI rec|ize Ihe ccn:euence: cf iI, fcr /|| h {,) mcy
cecree IhcI he i: p|ec:ec wiIh him Leccu:e cf iI unIi| Ihe Dcy he meeI: Him. Simi|cr|y, c mcn ccu|c uIIer c
wcrc IhcI cnger: /||h {,), cnc ncI rec|ize Ihe ccn:euence: cf iI, fcr/||h {,) mcy cecree IhcI He i:
cngry wiIh him Leccu:e cf iI unIi| Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn."
432
How great is our responsibility Ior the words we utter! How serious are the consequences oI the words
that our garrulous tongues speak so carelessly!
The true Muslim woman who is God-Iearing and intelligent does not listen to people`s idle talk, or pay
attention to the rumours and speculation that are riIe in our communities nowadays, especially in the
gatherings oI Ioolish and careless women. Consequently she never allows herselI to pass on whatever she
430
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/109, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb ma la vafu: min al-dhann.
431
pavt al-6abah, 2/151
432
A a adth narrated by Mlik in Al-Muwatt, 2/975, Kitb al-kalam, bb ma vumar bihi min al-tahaffu: fil-kalam.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
127
hears oI such rumours without being sure that they are true. She believes that to do so would be the kind
oI arm lie that was clearly Iorbidden by the Prophet (7):
lI i: encugh |ying fcr c mcn Ic repecI everyIhing IhcI he hecr:."
433
She Refrains From Backbiting and Spreading Malicious Gossip
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI Islm is conscious oI Allh (,), Iearing
Him in secret and in the open. She careIully avoids uttering any word oI slander or malicious gossip that
could anger her Rabb and include her among those spreaders oI malicious gossip who are severely
condemned in the Qur`n and Sunnah.
When she reads the words oI Allh (,):
Ncr :peck i|| cf ecch cIher Lehinc Iheir Lcck:. Wcu|c cny cf ycu |ike Ic ecI Ihe f|e:h cf hi:
cecc LrcIher? Ncy, ycu wcu|c cLhcr iI. 8uI fecr /||h, fcr /||h i: CfI-FeIurning, /||-Mercifu|.
(Qur`n 49: 12)
She is Iilled with revulsion Ior the hateIul crime oI gossip, which is likened to the eating oI her dead
sister`s Ilesh. So she hastens to repent, as Allh (,) commands at the end oI the vh, encouraging the
one who has Iallen into the error oI backbiting to repent quickly Irom it.
She also heeds the words oI the Prophet (7), who said:
Ihe Mu:|im i: Ihe cne frcm whc:e Icngue cnc whc:e hcnc Ihe Mu:|im: cre :cfe."
434
So she Ieels that gossip is a sin which does not beIit the Muslim woman who has uttered the words oI
the Shahadah, and that the woman who is used to gossip in social gatherings is not among the righteous
Muslim women.
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
l :cic Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7), 'lI i: encugh fcr ycu IhcI 6cfiyych i: :uch-cnc-:uch." Scme ncrrcIcr: :cic IhcI
:he mecnI :he wc: :hcrI cf :IcIure. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: Ycu hcve :pcken c wcrc IhcI, if iI were Ic
mixec wiIh Ihe wcIer: cf Ihe :ec, iI wcu|c ccnIcmincIe Ihem."
435
The Muslim woman pays attention to the description oI the seven acts that may lead to a person`s
condemnation, which the Prophet (7) called on people to avoid. In this list, she Iinds something that is
even worse and more dangerous than mere gossip, namely the slander oI chaste, innocent believing
women, which is a sin that some women Iall into in their gatherings:
/vcic {Ihe) :even Ihing: IhcI ccu|c |ecc Ic perciIicn." lI wc: c:kec, C Me::enger cf /|| h, whcI cre
Ihey?" He :cic: Sn|k |c::ccicIing cny pcrIner wiIh /|| h {,)]: wiIchcrcfI {:|): ki||ing cnycne fcr whcm
/||h {,) hc: fcrLiccen ki||ing, excepI in Ihe ccur:e cf ju:Iice: ccn:uming Ihe wec|Ih cf Ihe crphcn:
ccn:uming |c {u:ury): running cwcy frcm Ihe LcII|efie|c: cnc :|cncering chc:Ie cnc innccenI Le|ieving
wcmen."
436
The Muslim woman who truly understands this teaching takes the issue oI gossip very seriously, and
does not indulge in any type oI gossip or tolerate anyone to gossip in her company. She deIends her
sisters Irom hostile gossip and reIutes whatever bad things are being said about them, in accordance with
the words oI the Prophet (7):
Whcever cefenc: Ihe f|e:h cf hi: LrcIher in hi: cL:ence, /||h {,) wi|| :cve him frcm Ihe Fire."
437
The true Muslim woman also reIrains Irom spreading malicious gossip, because she understands the
dangerous role it plays in spreading evil and corruption in society and breaking the ties oI love and
Iriendship between its members, as the Prophet (7) explained:
433
6a Muslim, 1/73, Introduction, Bb al-nahv an al-adth bi kulli ma samia.
434
6a Muslim, 2/12, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn tafadul al-Islm.
435
Reported by Ab Dwd, 4/371, Kitb al-adb, bb fil-ghibah; Tirmidh, 4/660, Kitb ift al-qivmah, 51; he said it is a asan a
adth.
436
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/86, Kitb al-mn, bb al-kabair.
437
Reported with a asan isnd by Amad, 6/461.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
128
Ihe Le:I cf Ihe :ervcnI: cf /|| h {,) cre Ihc:e whc, when Ihey cre :een, /|| h {,) i: rememLerec {i.e.,
Ihey cre very picu:). Ihe wcr:I cf Ihe :ervcnI: cf /|| h {,) cre Ihc:e whc :precc mc|icicu: gc::ip,ccu:e
civi:icn LeIween frienc:, cnc :eek Ic ccu:e IrcuL|e fcr innccenI pecp|e."
438
It is enough Ior the woman who spreads malicious gossip and causes trouble between Iriends and splits
them up to know that iI she persists in her evil ways, there awaits her humiliation in this liIe and a terrible
destiny in the next, as the Prophet (7) declared that the blessings oI Paradise will be denied to every
person who spreads malicious gossip. This is stated clearly in the a adth:
Ihe cne whc engcge: in mc|i cicu: gc::ip wi|| ncI enIer Fcrcci:e."
439
What Iills the believing woman`s heart with Iear and horror oI the consequences oI spreading
malicious gossip is the Iact that Allh (,) will pour His punishment upon the one who engaged in this sin
Irom the moment he or she is laid in the grave. We Iind this in the adth which Bukhr, Muslim and
others narrated Irom Ibn Abbs (W):
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) pc::ec Ly Iwc grcve:, cnc :cic: 'Ihey cre Leing puni:hec, LuI Ihey cre ncI
Leing puni:hec fcr cny mcjcr :in. Cne cf Ihem u:ec Ic :precc mc|icicu: gc::ip, cnc Ihe cIher u:ec ncI
Ic c|ecn him:e|f prcper|y cfIer urincIing." He {lLn '/LL:) :cic: He cc||ec fcr c green Lrcnch cnc :p|iI iI
in Iwc, Ihen p|cnIec c piece cn ecch grcve cnc :cic, 'Mcy Iheir puni:hmenILe recucec :c |cng c:
Ihe:e remcin fre:h."
440
She Avoids Cursing und Ioul Lunguuge
The Muslim woman who has absorbed the good manners taught by Islm never utters obscene
language or Ioul words, or oIIends people with curses and insults, because she knows that the moral
teachings oI Islm completely Iorbid all such talk. Cursing is seen as a sin that damages the quality oI a
person`s adherance to Islm, and the Ioul-mouthed person is intensely disliked by Allh (,). Ibn Masd
(W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'Cur:ing c Mu:|im i: c :in cnc ki||ing him i: ku|."
441
The Prophet (7) said:
/||h {,) cce: ncI |cve cnycne whc i: fcu| -mcuIhec cnc cL:cene."
442
/||h {,) wi|| hcIe Ihe ci:gu:Iing, fcu|-mcuIhec per:cn."
443
It is a quality that does not beIit the Muslim woman who has been guided by the truth oI Islm and
whose heart has been Iilled with the sweetness oI Iaith. So she keeps Iar away Irom disputes and
arguments in which cheap insults and curses are traded. The alert Muslim woman is Iurther encouraged to
avoid such moral decadence whenever she remembers the beautiIul example set by the Prophet (7) in
all his words and deeds. It is known that he never uttered any words that could hurt a person`s Ieelings,
damage his reputation or insult his honour.
Anas ibn Mlik (W), who accompanied the Prophet (7) closely Ior many years, said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) never u:ec fcu| |cngucge, cr cur:ec, cr :wcre. When he wcnIec Ic reLuke :cmecne,
he wcu|c :cy, 'WhcI i: wrcng wiIh him? Mcy hi: fcrehecc Le ccverec wiIh cu:Il"
444
He even reIrained Irom cursing the kfirn who had hardened their hearts to his message. He never
spoke a harmIul word to them, as the great 6ab Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
lI wc: :cic: 'C Me::enger cf /||h, prcy cgcin:I Ihe nu:n|kn. He :cic, 'l wc: ncI :enI c: c cur:e, LuI l
438
Reported with a a isnd by Amad, 4/227.
439
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/147, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb waid al-namam.
440
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/370, Kitb al-tahrah, bb al-istitar inda qada al-afah.
441
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 1/76, Kitb al-mn, bb almat al-nifq.
442
Reported by Amad and A-abarn; the men oI its isnd are thiqt. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/64.
443
Reported by A-abarn; the men oI its isnd are thiqt. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/64.
444
Fat al-Br, 10/452, Kitb al-adb, bb lam vakun al-Nabi fashishan wala mutafahhishan.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
129
wc: :enI c: c mercy."
445
The Prophet (7) excelled in removing the roots oI evil, hatred and enmity in people`s hearts when he
explained to the Muslims that the one who gives his tongue Iree rein in slandering people and their wealth
and honour is the one who is truly ruined in this world and the next. His aggressive attitude towards
others will cancel out whatever good deeds he may have done in his liIe, and on the Day oI Judgement he
will be abandoned, with no protection Irom the Eire:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'Dc ycu kncw whc i: Ihe cne whc i: ruinec? Ihey :cic, 'lI i: Ihe cne whc hc: nc
mcney cr pc::e::icn:. He :cic, 'Ihe cne whc i: ruinec cmcng my ummch i: Ihe cne whc ccme: cn Ihe
Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn wiIh prcyer, fc:Iing cnc zckt Ic hi: creciI, LuI he in:u|Iec Ihi: cne, :|cncerec IhcI
cne, cevcurec Ihi: cne: wec|Ih, :hec IhcI cne: L|ccc, cnc LecI IhcI cne. Sc :cme cf hi: c:cnt wi|| Le
given Ic Ihi: cne cnc :cme Ic IhcI cne.. /nc if hi: c:cnt run cuI Lefcre c|| hi: vicIim: hcve Leen
ccmpen:cIec, Ihen :cme cf Iheir :in: wi|| Le Icken cnc cccec Ic hi:, Ihen he wi|| Le Ihrcwn inIc He||."
446
Not surprisingly, thereIore, all oI this nonsense is eliminated Irom the liIe oI true Muslim women.
Disputes and arguments which could lead to curses and insults are rare in the community oI true Muslim
women that is based on the virtues oI good manners, respect Ior the Ieelings oI others, and a reIined level
oI social interaction.
She oes not Muke Iun oI Anybody
The Muslim woman whose personality has been inIused with a sense oI humility and resistance to
pride and arrogance cannot make Iun oI anybody. The Qur`nic guidance which has instilled those virtues
in her also protects her Irom scorning or despising other women:
C ycu whc Le|ievel LeI ncI :cme men cmcng ycu |cugh cI cIher:: iI mcy Le IhcI Ihe ||cIIer] cre
LeIIer Ihcn Ihe |fcrmer]: ncr |eI :cme wcmen |cugh cI cIher:: iI mcy Le IhcI Ihe ||cIIer] cre LeIIer
Ihcn Ihe |fcrmer]: ncr cefcme ncr Le :crcc:Iic Ic ecch cIher, ncr cc|| ecch cIher Ly |cffen:ive]
nickncme:: i||-:eeming i: c ncme ccnncIing wickecne::, |Ic Le u:ec cf cne] cfIer he hc: Le|ievec:
cnc Ihc:e whc cc ncI ce:i:I cre |inceec] ccing wrcng. (Qur`n 49: 11)
The Muslim woman also learns the attitude oI modesty and gentleness Irom the example oI the
Prophet (7), so she avoids being arrogant and scorning or looking down on others when she reads the
words oI the Prophet (7) as reported by Muslim, stating that despising her Iellow Muslim women is
pure evil:
lI i: :ufficienI evi| fcr c mcn Ic ce:pi:e hi: Mu:|im LrcIher."
447
She is Gentle und Kind Towurds People
It is in the nature oI women to be gentle and kind, which is more beIitting to them. This is why women
are known as the 'Iairer sex.
The Muslim woman who has truly been guided by Islm is even more kind and gentle towards the
women around her, because gentleness and kindness are characteristics which Allh (,) loves in His
believing servants and which make the one who possesses them dear to others:
Ncr ccn Gcccne:: cnc Evi| Le euc|. Fepe| |Evi|] wiIh whcI i: LeIIer: Ihen wi|| he LeIween whcm
cnc ycu wc: hcIrec Leccme c: iI were ycur frienc cnc inIimcIel /nc nc cne wi|| Le grcnIec :uch
gcccne:: excepI Ihc:e whc exerci:e pcIience cnc :e|f-re:IrcinI - ncne LuI per:cn: cf Ihe grecIe:I
gccc fcrIune. (Qur`n 41: 34-35)
Many vt and adths reinIorce the message that gentleness and kindness are to be encouraged and
that they are noble virtues that should prevail in the Muslim community and characterize every Muslim
445
6a Muslim, 16/150, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb man laanahu al-Nabi.
446
6a Muslim, 16/135, Kitb al-birr al-silah wal-adb, bb tarm al-dhulm.
447
6a Muslim, 16/121, Kitb al-birr, bb tarm dhulm al-Muslim wa khadhlihi wa ihtiqarih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
130
member oI that community who truly understands the guidance oI Islm. It is suIIicient Ior the Muslim
woman to know that kindness is one oI the attributes oI Allh (,) that He has encouraged His slaves to
adopt it in all their aIIairs. /||h {,) i: Kinc cnc |cve: kincne:: in c|| cffcir:."
448
Kindness is a tremendous virtue which Allh (,) rewards in a way unlike any other:
/||h {,) i: kinc cnc |cve: kincne::, cnc He rewcrc: iI in c wcy IhcI He cce: ncI rewcrc hcr:hne::, cnc
in c wcy un|ike cny cIher."
449
The Prophet (7) praised kindness, regarding it as an adornment that beautiIies and encouraging others to
adopt this trait:
Ihere i: nc kincne:: in c Ihing LuI iI mcke: iI LecuIifu|, cnc Ihere i: nc cL:ence cf kincne:: in c Ihing LuI
iI mcke: iI repugncnI."
450
The Prophet (7) taught the Muslims to be kind in their dealings with people, and to behave in an
exemplary manner as beIits the Muslim who is calling people to the religion oI Allh (,), the All-Kind
and All-MerciIul, no matter how provocative the situation.
Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
/ Leccuin urincIec in Ihe mc:ue, cnc Ihe pecp|e gcI up Ic :crI him cuI. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic, 'Lecve
him Le, cnc Ihrcw c LuckeI cf wcIer cver hi: urine, fcr ycu hcve Leen rci:ec Ic Le ec:y cn pecp|e, ncI
hcrc cn Ihem."
451
Kindness, gentleness and tolerance, not harshness, aggression and rebuke, are what open people`s
hearts to the message oI truth. The Prophet (7) used to advise the Muslims:
8e cheerfu|, ncI IhrecIening, cnc mcke Ihing: ec:y, ncI cifficu|I."
452
People are naturally put oII by rudeness and harshness, but they are attracted by kindness and
gentleness. Hence Allh (,) said to His Prophet (7):
Were ycu :evere cr hcr:h-hecrIec, Ihey wcu|c hcve Lrcken cwcy frcm cLcuI ycu. (Qur`n 3: 159)
This is an eternal declaration that applies to every woman who seeks to call other women to Islm. She
has to Iind a good way to reach their hearts, Ior which purpose she utilizes every means oI kindness,
gentleness and tact at her disposal. II she encounters any hostility or resistance, then no doubt a kind word
will reach their hearts and have the desired eIIect on the hearts oI the women she addresses. This is what
Allh (,) told His Prophet Msa (X) and his brother Harn when He sent them to Pharaoh:
Gc, LcIh cf ycu, Ic Fhcrcch, fcr he hc: inceec Ircn:gre::ec c|| Lcunc:: LuI :peck Ic him mi|c|y:
perchcnce he mcy Icke wcrning cr fecr |/||h]. (Qur`n 20: 43-44)
Not surprisingly, kindness, according to Islm, is all goodness. Whoever attains it has been given all
goodness, and whoever has been denied it has been denied all goodness. We see this in the adth
narrated by Jarr ibn Abdullh, who said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'Whcever hc: Leen ceniec kincne:: hc: Leen ceniec c||
gcccne::."
453
The Prophet (7) explained that this goodness will be bestowed upon individuals, households and
peoples when kindness prevails in their lives and is one oI their Ioremost characteristics. We Iind this in
the adth oI bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) in which the Prophet (7) told her:
C 'bi:hch, Le kinc, fcr if /||h {,) wi||: :cme gccc Ic c hcu:ehc|c, He guice: Ihem Ic kincne::."
454
448
Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 340, Bb al-hilm wal-anah wal-rifq.
449
6a Muslim, 16/146, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl al-rifq.
450
6a Muslim, 16/146, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl al-rifq.
451
Fat al-Br, 1/323, Kitb al-wud, bb sabb al-ma alal-bul fil-masfid.
452
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 10/67, Kitb al-imrah wal-qada, bb ma ala al-walah min al-tavsir.
453
6a Muslim, 16/145, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl al-rifq.
454
Reported by Amad, 6/104; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
131
According to another report, he (7) said:
lf /||h {,) wi||: :cme gccc Ic c hcu:ehc|c, He in:Ii|: kincne:: in Ihem."
455
Jbir (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'lf /||h {,) wi||: :cme gccc Ic c pecp|e, He in:Ii|: kincne:: in Ihem."
456
What greater goodness can there be than a characteristic that will protect a man Irom Hell? As the
Prophet (7) said in another adth:
Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu whc :hc|| Le fcrLiccen frcm Ihe Fire, cr frcm whcm Ihe Fire wi|| Le fcrLiccen? lI wi|| Le
fcrLiccen fcr every genI|e, :cfI-hecrIec cnc kinc per:cn."
457
The teachings oI the Prophet (7) take man a step Iurther, by instilling in him the attitude oI kindness
and requiring him to be kind even to the animals he slaughters. This is counted as one oI the highest
levels that the pious and righteous may reach:
/||h {,) hc: pre:criLec prcficiency
458
in c|| Ihing:. Ihu: if ycu ki||, ki|| we||, cnc if ycu :|cughIer, :|cughIer
we||. LeI ecch cne cf ycu :hcrpen hi: L|cce cnc |eI him :pcre :uffering Ic Ihe cnimc| he :|cughIer:."
459
Kindness to dumb animals that are to be slaughtered is indicative oI the kindness oI the man who
slaughters them, and oI his mercy towards all living creatures. The more a person understands this and treats
all living creatures well, the more kind and gentle a person he is. This is the ultimate goal towards which
Islm is guiding the Muslim, so that he is kind even to animals.
The true Muslim woman can imagine the comprehensiveness oI the Islmic teachings enjoining
kindness upon the sons oI bdam, when even animals are included.
She is Compussionute und MerciIul
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI Islm is compassionate and merciIul, Ior
she understands that the compassion oI people on earth will cause the mercy oI heaven to be showered
upon them. She knows that the one who does not show compassion towards others will not receive the
mercy oI Allh (,), and that the mercy oI Allh (,) is not withheld except Irom the one who is lost and
doomed, as the Prophet (7) said:
Hcve ccmpc::icn cn Ihc:e whc cre cn ecrIh :c IhcI Ihe Cne Whc i: in hecven wi|| hcve mercy cn ycu."
460
Whcever :hcw: ncI ccmpc::icn Ic pecp|e, /|| h {,) wi|| ncI :hcw mercy Ic him."
461
Ccmpc::icn i: ncI Icken cwcy excepI frcm Ihe cne whc i: cccmec."
462
The true Muslim woman does not limit her compassion only to her Iamily, children, relatives and
Iriends, but she extends it to include all people. This is in accordance with the teachings oI the Prophet
(7), which include all people and make compassion a condition oI Iaith:
Ycu wi|| ncI Le|ieve unIi| ycu hcve ccmpc::icn Icwcrc: cne cncIher." Ihey :cic, C Me::enger cf /|| h,
c|| cf u: cre ccmpc::icncIe." He :cic, lI i: ncIIhe ccmpc::icn cf cny cf ycu Icwcrc: hi: frienc, LuI iI i:
ccmpc::icn Icwcrc: c|| pecp|e cnc ccmpc::icn Icwcrc: Ihe ccmmcn fc|k."
463
This is comprehensive, all-embracing compassion which Islm has awoken in the hearts oI Muslim men
and women, and made one oI their distinguishing characteristics, so that the Muslim community - men and
455
Reported by Amad, 6/104; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a.
456
Reported by Al-Bazzr; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/18, bb ma faa fil-rifq.
457
Reported by Tirmidh, 4/654, in Kitb siffah al-qivmah, 45; he said it is a asan adth.
458
The word translated here as proIiciency is isan, which also has connotations oI doing well, decency, etc. |Translator|
459
6a Muslim, 13/106, Kitb al-savd, bb al-amr bi isan al-dhabh.
460
Reported by A-abarn; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/187, Bb rahmat al-ns.
461
Reported with a asan isnd by A-abarn. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/187, Bb ramat al-ns.
462
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/466, Bb iram man fil-ard.
463
Reported by A-abarn; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/186, Bb ramat al-ns.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
132
women, rich and poor, all oI its members - may become an integrated, caring community Iilled with
compassion, brotherly love and true aIIection.
The Prophet (7) was a brilliant example oI sincere compassion. II he heard a child crying when he
was leading the people in prayer, he would shorten the prayer, out oI consideration Ior the mother`s
Ieelings and concern Ior her child.
Bukhr and Muslim report Irom Anas (W) that the Prophet (7) said:
l ccmmencec Ihe prcyer, cnc l inIencec Ic mcke iI |cng, LuI l hecrc c chi|c crying, :c l cuI my prcyer
:hcrI Leccu:e cf Ihe ci:Ire:: l knew hi: mcIher wcu|c Le fee|ing."
q6q
/ Leccuin ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc c:kec, Dc ycu ki:: ycur :cn:? Fcr we cc ncI ki:: Ihem." He :cic,
WhcI ccn l cc fcr ycu when /|| h {,) hc: remcvec ccmpc::icn frcm ycur hecrI?"
465
Ihe FrcpheI {7) ki::ec /|-pc:cn iLn '/| when /|-/rc' iLn pcLi: c|-Icmm wc: :iIIing wiIh him. /|-/rc'
:cic: l hcve Ien chi|cren cncl hcve never ki::ec cny cf Ihem." Ihe FrcpheI {7) |cckec cI him cnc :cic,
Ihe cne whc cce: ncI :hcw ccmpc::icn wi|| ncI Le :hcwn mercy."
466
'Umcr {W) wcnIec Ic cppcinI c mcn Ic :cme pc:iIicn cf cuIhcriIy cver Ihe Mu:|im:, Ihen he hecrc him
:cy :cmeIhing |ike /|-/rc' iLn pcLi: hcc :cic, i.e., IhcI he cic ncI ki:: hi: chi|cren. Sc 'Umcr chcngec hi:
minc cLcuI cppcinIing him cnc :cic, lf ycur hecrI cce: ncI LecI wiIh ccmpc::icn Icwcrc: ycur cwn
chi|cren, hcw wi|| ycu Le mercifu| Icwcrc: Ihe pecp|e? 8y /|| h {,), l wi|| never cppcinI ycu." Ihen he
Icre up Ihe cccumenI he hcc prepcrec ccncerning Ihe mcn: cppcinImenI.
The Prophet (7) extended the Ieeling oI mercy in the hearts oI Muslim men and women to cover
animals as well as humans. This is reIlected in a number oI a adths, such as that reported by
Bukhr and Muslim Irom Ab Hurayrah, in which the Prophet (7) said:
/ mcn wc: wc|king c|cng Ihe rccc when he fe|I very Ihir:Iy. He :cw c we||, :c he wenI ccwn inIc iI,
crcnk hi: fi||, Ihen ccme cuI. He :cw c ccg pcnIing cnc LiIing Ihe cu:I wiIh Ihir:I, cnc :cic, 'Ihi: ccg:
Ihir:I i: c: :evere c: mine wc:. Sc he wenI Lcck ccwn inIc Ihe we||, fi||ec hi: :hce: wiIh wcIer, he|c Ihem
in hi: mcuIh {whi|e he c|imLec cuI), cnc gcve Ihe ccg wcIer. /|| h {,) Ihcnkec him cnc fcrgcve him."
Ihey c:kec, C Me::enger cf /||h, wi|| we Le rewcrcec fcr kincne:: Icwcrc: cnimc|:?" He :cic, ln every
|iving crecIure Ihere i: rewcrc."
467
Bukhr and Muslim also narrate Irom Ibn Umar that the Prophet (7) said:
/ wcmcn wc: puni:hec Leccu:e cf c ccI which :he |cckec up unIi| iI ciec cf :IcrvcIicn. She wc:
Ihrcwn inIc He||. lI wc: :cic - cnc /||h {,) kncw: Le:I - 'Ycu cic ncI feec her cr give her wcIer when ycu
|cckec her up, neiIher cic ycu |eI her rccm free :c IhcI :he ccu|c ecI cf Ihe vermin cf Ihe ecrIh."
468
Ihe FrcpheI {7) recchec :uch heighI: cf mercy IhcI cnce, when he cnc hi: Ccmpcnicn: :Icppec in
:cme p|cce, c Lirc cppecrec cLcve hi: hecc, c: if :he were :eeking hi: he|p cnc ccmp|cining Ic him cf
Ihe wrcngccing cf c mcn whc hcc Icken her egg. He :cic, Which cf ycu hc: ci:Ire::ec her Ly Icking
her egg?" / mcn :cic, C Me::enger cf /|| h, l hcve Icken iI." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: FuI iI Lcck, cuI cf
mercy Ic her."
469
The Prophet (7) wanted, in this instance, to instil a sense oI all-encompassing mercy in the
conscience oI the Muslims, men and women alike, so that they would become compassionate by nature,
even to animals, because whoever has the heart to be kind to animals will not be harsh towards his human
brother.
The Prophet (7) was Iull oI compassion towards humans and animals alike. He never stopped
encouraging compassion among people, and sought to instil it deeply in the hearts oI Muslim men and
464
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 3/410, Kitb al-alt, bb al-takhfif li amr vahduth.
465
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb ramat al-walad wa taqbilih.
466
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb ramat al-walad wa taqbilih.
467
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 2/229, Kitb al-alh, bb fadl alh al-ish wal-fafr fil-famah.
468
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/171, Kitb al-:akt, bb fadl saqi al-ma.
469
Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/472, Bb akhdh al-bavd min al-hammarah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
133
women, stating that it was the key to Allh`s mercy, Iorgiveness and reward. Allh (,) would Iorgive
those who were compassionate, even iI they were sinners.
In 6a Muslim, Ab Hurayrah said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: '/ ccg wc: wc|king crcunc c we||, c|mc:I cying cf Ihir:I, when c
Jewi:h prc:IiIuIe :cw him. She Icck cff her :hce, LrcughI wcIer Ic him cnc gcve him Ic crink. She wc:
fcrgiven Leccu:e cf Ihi: ceec."
470
How great is the blessing oI compassion and mercy Ior mankind! What beautiIul attributes they are! It
is suIIicient honour and status to know that the Rabb oI Glory and Majesty derived His own name Irom
ramah (mercy, compassion), and is called Al-Ram, Al-Ramn.
She Strives Ior People`s BeneIit und Seeks to Protect Them Irom Hurm
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by Islm is keen to be constructive and active in good
and beneIicial deeds, not only Ior herselI, but Ior all people. So she always looks Ior opportunities to do
good, and hastens to do as much as she can, in obedience to the words oI the Qur`n:
./nc cc gccc, IhcI ycu mcy prc:per. (Qur`n 22: 77)
She knows that doing good to others is an act oI worship, so long as it is done purely Ior the sake oI
Allh (,). The door to good deeds is open to all Muslims to enter whenever they wish and earn the mercy
and pleasure oI Allh (,). There are many aspects to goodness and piety, and they take many Iorms.
Goodness includes all those who work Ior the sake oI Allh (,), and any good deed that is done Ior the
sake oI Allh (,) will be rewarded as an act oI charity (adaqah) in the record oI their deeds: Every
gccc ceec i: c cccqcn."
471
/ gccc wcrc i: c cccqcn."
472
The Mercy oI Allh (,) encompasses every Muslim woman whose heart is pure and whose intention is
sincerely to please Allh (,). It applies to her iI she does good, and iI she does not do good, so long as she
reIrains Irom doing evil: Ab Msa (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'Every Mu:|im mu:I give chcriIy. Scmecne c:kec, 'WhcI if he finc: he hc: ncIhing
wiIh which Ic give chcriIy? He :cic, 'LeI him wcrk wiIh hi: Iwc hcnc: cnc Lenefi I him:e|f cnc give chcriIy
{frcm hi: ecrning:). Scmecne :cic, 'WhcI if he cce: ncI cc IhcI? He :cic, 'LeI him he|p cne whc i: in
ce:percIe neec. Scmecne :cic, 'WhcI if he cce: ncI cc IhcI? He :cic, 'LeI him enjcin whcI i: gccc.
Scmecne :cic, 'WhcI if he cce: ncI cc IhcI? He :cic, 'LeI him refrcin frcm ccing evi|, cnc IhcI wi|| Le cn
ccI cf chcriIy."
473
The Prophet (7) began this adth with the words, 'Every Muslim must give charity, then he went
on to list various types oI good deeds and acts oI kindness by means oI which a Muslim man or woman
may earn reward Ior doing charity. Charity is a duty on the Muslim woman, that is, she must undertake
deeds that are socially constructive in her community. II she is unable to do so, or does not do so Ior any
reason, then at least she can restrain her tongue and reIrain Irom doing evil; in this, too, there is reward.
Thus both her positive and negative aspects (i.e., what she does and what she does not do) will be directed
towards the service oI the truth upon which the Muslim community is built. The Muslim is Ihe cne frcm
whc:e Icngue cnc hcnc Ihe Mu:|im: cre :cfe."
474
So the Muslim woman is always keen to do good, and hastens to do it, hoping that she will be the one
to do it. She keeps away Irom evil, and is determined never to indulge in it. In this way she is one oI the
best Muslims in the Muslim community, as the Prophet (7) said in the adth narrated by Imm Amad:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :Iccc up Lefcre :cme pecp|e whc were :ecIec cnc :cic: 'Shc|| l Ie|| ycu Ihe Le:I cf
ycu cnc Ihe wcr:I cf ycu? Ihe pecp|e were :i|enI, :c he repecIec iI Ihree Iime:, Ihen cne mcn :cic,
'Ye:, C Me::enger cf /||h. He :cic: 'Ihe Le:I cf ycu i: Ihe cne frcm whcm pecp|e expecI gccc ceec:,
470
6a Muslim, 14/242, Kitb qatl al-havvt wa nahwaha, bb fadl saqi al-bahaim.
471
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/142, Kitb al-:akt, bb kullu maruf adaqah.
472
Erom a adth whose authenticity is Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/145, Kitb al-:akt, bb kullu maruf adaqah.
473
Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/143, Kitb al-:akt, bb kullu maruf adaqah.
474
Fat al-Br, 1/53, Kitb al-mn, bb al-Muslim man salima al-Muslim min lisanih wa vadih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
134
cnc frcm whc:e evi| ceec: pecp|e cre :cfe: Ihe wcr:I cf ycu i: Ihe cne frcm whcm pecp|e expecI gccc
ceec: LuI frcm whc:e evi| ceec: pecp|e cre ncI :cfe."
475
The Muslim woman who truly understands her Islm is one oI those Irom whom good deeds are
expected and Irom whose evil deeds people are saIe. She is eager to do good deeds in this liIe, and she
knows that her eIIorts will not be wasted, as she will be rewarded Ior it in this world and the next:
Whcever re|ieve: c Le|iever cf :cme cf Ihe ci:Ire:: cf Ihi: wcr|c, /|| h {,) wi|| re|ieve him cf :cme cf Ihe
ci:Ire:: cf Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn, cnc whcever ccme: Ic Ihe cic cf cne whc i: gcing Ihrcugh hcrc:hip,
/||h {,) wi|| ccme Ic hi: cic in Ihi: wcr|c cnc Ihe nexI."
476
The Muslim woman never spares any eIIort to do good deeds whenever she is able. How could she do
otherwise, when she knows Irom the teachings oI the Prophet (7) that Iailing to do good when one is
able to do so carries the threat oI losing the blessings oI Allh (,):
Never cce: /||h {,) L|e:: c :|cve wiIh cLunccnI LcunIy, Ihen :cme neec: cf Ihe pecp|e cre
LrcughI Ic hi: cIIenIicn cnc he fee|: cnncyec cnc re|ucIcnI Ic he|p Ihem, LuI IhcI L|e::ing wi|| Le
expc:ec Ic Ihe IhrecI cf |c::."
477
The Muslim woman does not think little oI any good deed, no matter how small it may be, so long as it
is accompanied by a sincere intention to please Allh (,). Doing good may consist oI protecting the
Muslims Irom harm, as is brilliantly described in a number oI adths, Ior example:
l hcve :een c mcn whc wc: enjcying Ihe |uxurie: cf Fcrcci:e Leccu:e he remcvec c Iree frcm Ihe :ice
cf Ihe rccc IhcI u:ec Ic hcrm Ihe pecp|e."
478
There are two aspects to doing good, and Muslims are obliged to do both oI them and to compete
with one another in earning the pleasure oI Allah (,) by doing them. They are: doing good deeds and
seeking to beneIit the people, and protecting the people Irom harm.
Seeking to protect the Muslims Irom harm is no less important than doing good and working Ior their
beneIit; both count as righteous deeds Ior which a person will be rewarded. All societies, no matter
what their geographical location or
IIsLorIcuI eru, need boLI oI LIese deeds, operuLIng In Lundem. WIen boLI ure presenL,
goodness wIII spreud In socIeLy, LIe LIes oI IrIendsIIp wIII be esLubIIsIed beLween ILs
members, und LIeIr quuIILy oI IIIe wIII be mucI Improved. TIIs Is wIuL sIm seeks Lo
ucIIeve wIen IL consLunLIy encouruges MusIIms Lo do good Lo peopIe und Lo seek Lo
proLecL LIem Irom Iurm.
Among the teachings which direct Muslims to protect others Irom harm is the adth narrated by Ab
Barzah, who said:
l :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /||h, Iecch me :cmeIhing IhcI l mcy LenefiI frcm. He :cic, 'Femcve cnyIhing
hcrmfu| frcm Ihe pcIh cf Ihe Mu:|im:." 479
According to another report, Ab Barzah said:
C Me::enger cf /||h, Ie|| me cf c ceec IhcI wi|| ccmiI me Ic Fcrcci:e." Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic: Femcve
cnyIhing hcrmfu| frcm Ihe rccc: Ihi: wi|| Le cn ccI cf chcriIy cn ycur pcrI."
What a highly-developed, civil community is the society that Islm has built and instilled in each oI its
members the idea that the good deeds which will bring one closer to Allh (,) and admit one to Paradise
include removing anything harmIul Irom the path oI the people!
Humanity today is in the greatest need oI this highly-developed, civil society that Islm builds, in which
every member Ieels that his contribution to the good oI society will bring him closer to Allh (,) and grant
475
Reported by Amad; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/183, Bb fiman vurfi khavrahu.
476
6a Muslim, 17/21, Kitb al-dhikr wal-du, bb fadl al-iftima ala tilawah al-Qurn wa alal-dhikr.
477
Reported with a Javvid isnd by A-abarn in Al-Awsat. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/192, Bb fadl qada al-hawif.
478
6a Muslim, 16/171, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl i:alah al-adha an al-triq.
479 6a Muslim, 16/171, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl i:alah al-adha an al-triq.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
135
him entrance to Paradise, even iI his good deeds went no Iurther than removing something harmIul Irom the
road. There is a huge diIIerence between the society which Iorms sensitive souls such as these, who cannot
bear to see carelessness and backwardness, and the society which pays no attention to the development oI
its members, so you see them not caring iI the garbage and hazardous waste that they throw in the road
harms people, and the authorities in those backward societies are obliged to issue laws and regulations to
punish those who commit these oIIences.
How great is the diIIerence between the society that is guided by Islm, whose members hasten to
remove anything harmIul Irom the road in obedience to Allh`s command and in hope oI reward Irom
Him, and the society which has deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,), whose members do not care on
whom their garbage lands when they throw it Irom their balconies, windows and rooItops!
The civilized Western world has managed to excel in such matters oI organization by making
individuals become accustomed to respecting the system and Iollowing it strictly. But this high level oI
social organization in the West still Ialls Iar short oI the true Islmic ideal, Ior one good reason: the
Muslim who has received a sound Islmic education is even stricter and more sincere in adhering to the
system, because he believes that stepping beyond the limits is an act oI disobedience towards Allh (,),
Who will punish him on the Day wherecn neiIher wec|Ih ncr :cn: wi|| cvci|, LuI cn|y he |wi|| prc:per]
IhcI Lring: Ic /||h c :cunc hecrI. (Qur`n 26: 88-89). Moreover, the Westerner does not see anything
seriously wrong with transgressing the bounds oI the system. His conscience may or may not trouble him,
but there the matter ends, especially iI the authorities are unaware oI it.
She Helps to Alleviute the Burden oI the ebtor
The true Muslim woman is distinguished by the nature oI her moral and psychological make-up, and
by her tolerant and easy-going personality. So iI she is owed anything by her sister and her sister is in
diIIiculty when the time comes to pay the debt, she postpones payment until another time, until the period
oI hardship is over, in obedience to the words oI the Qur`n:
lf Ihe ceLIcr i: in cifficu|Iy, grcnI him Iime Ii|| iI i: ec:y fcr him Ic repcy. (Qur`n 2: 280)
Postponing debts is a generous attitude, one that is encouraged by Islm because it brings about
humane standards in one`s dealing with one`s brother, even iI he is in debt.
The Muslim woman who is inIused with this humane attitude oI postponing payment oI her sister`s
debts is acting in obedience to the commands oI Allh (,), storing up righteous deeds Ior her HereaIter
that will save her Irom aIIliction on the Day oI Judgement and shade her in the shade oI Allh`s Throne
on the Day when there is no other shade: Ab Qutdah (W) said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: Whcever wcu|c |ike /||h {,) Ic :cve him frcm Ihe hcrc:hip cf
Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn, |eI him c||evicIe Ihe Lurcen cf c ceLIcr 480, cr wriIe cff {pcrI cf Ihe ceLI)." 481
Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Whcever c||cw: cceLIcr Ic pc:Ipcne pcymenI, cr wriIe: cff pcrI cf Ihe
ceLI, /||h {,) wi|| p|cce him uncer Ihe :hcce cf Hi: Ihrcne cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn, Ihe Dcy when Ihere
wi|| Le nc :hcce excepI Hi:."482
The true Muslim woman is able to take the matter Iurther and rise to a higher level, iI she is well-oII,
by letting her sister oII paying all or part oI the debt. This will earn her a great reward, as Allh (,) will
compensate her Ior letting her sister oII by letting her oII even more, Iorgiving her Ior her errors and
shortcomings, and saving her Irom the horror oI the Day oI Judgement. Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Ihere wc: c mcn whc u:ec Ic |enc mcney Ic Ihe pecp|e. He u:ec Ic
Ie|| hi: emp|cyee: lf ycu ccme ccrc:: cny ceLIcr whc i: i n cifficu|Iy, |eI him cff. Ferhcp: /|| h {,) wi|| |eI
480 i.e., by postponing the payment, iI he is the one to whom it is owed, or by paying oII the debt Ior him. |Author|
481 6a Muslim, 10/227, Kitb al-musaqah wal-mu:ariah, bb fadl in:ar al-musir.
482 A asan a adth, narrated by Tirmidh, 3/590, in Kitb al-buvu, bb ma faa fi in:ar al-musir.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
136
u: cff." Sc when he meI /||h {,), He |eI him cff." 483
Ab Masd al-Badr (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: '/ mcn frcm cmcng Ihc:e whc were Lefcre ycu wc: cc||ec Ic
ccccunI, cnc nc gccc ceec: were fcunc in hi: reccrc excepI IhcI he u:ec Ic hcve cec|ing: wiIh Ihe
pecp|e, cnc he wc: rich, :c he u:ec Ic Ie|| hi: emp|cyee: Ic |eI cff Ihc:e ceLIcr: whc were in cifficu|Iy.
/||h {,), mcy He Le g|crifiec, :cic: 'We :hcu|c Le mcre genercu: Ihcn he,:c |eI him cff." 484
HudhayIah (W) said:
/||h {,) LrcughI Ic ccccunI cne cf Hi: :ervcnI: Ic whcm he hcc given wec|Ih, cnc c:kec him, 'WhcI
cic ycu cc in Ihe cuny? He :cic - cnc nc-cne ccn hice c :ing|e Ihing frcm /|| h {,) - 'C my Fccc, ycu
gcve me wec|Ih, cnc l u:ec Ic Ircce wiIh pecp|e. lI wc: my hcLiI Ic Le |enienI: l wcu|c Le ec:y -gcing
wiIh Ihe cne whc ccu|c cffcrc Ic pcy hi: ceLI, cnc l wcu|c c||cw Ihe cne whc wc: in cifficu|Iy Ic
pc:Ipcne pcymenI. /||h {,) :cic, 'll :hcu|c Le mcre genercu: Ihcnycu: |eI My :|cve cff." Uqbah ibn
bmir and Ab Masd al-Anr said, 'We heard something like this Irom the mouth oI the Prophet
(7).485
She is Generous
One oI the characteristics oI the Muslim woman who adheres to the teachings oI Islm is that she is
generous and gives Ireely; her hands are always stretched Iorth to give to those who are in need.
Whenever she hears the call oI one who is in diIIiculty, or it is appropriate to give generously, she
responds to the need.
She is certain that whatever she gives will not go to waste, Ior it is recorded with One Who has Iull
knowledge oI all things:
/nc whcIever cf gccc ycu give, Le c::urec IhcI /||h kncw: iI we||. (Qur`n 2: 273)
She also believes, when she spends her money generously, that whatever she spends will come back to
her maniIold and that Allh (,) will multiply its reward in this world and the next:
Ihe pcrcL|e cf Ihc:e whc :penc Iheir :uL:Icnce in Ihe wcy cf /||h i: IhcI cf c grcin cf ccrn: iI
grcw: :even ecr:, cnc ecch ecr hc: c huncrec grcin:. /||h give: mcnifc|c increc:e Ic whcm He
p|ec:e:: cnc /||h ccre: fcr c|| cnc He kncw: c|| Ihing:. (Qur`n 2: 261)
./nc ncIhing cc ycu :penc in Ihe |ec:I |in Hi: Ccu:e] LuI He rep|cce: iI. (Qur`n 34: 39)
WhcIever cf gccc ycu give LenefiI: ycur cwn :cu|:, cnc ycu :hc|| cn|y cc :c :eeking Ihe Fcce cf
/||h. WhcIever gccc ycu give, :hc|| Le rencerec Lcck Ic ycu, cnc ycu :hc|| ncI Le cec|I wiIh
unju:I|y. (Qur`n 2: 272)
She also knows that iI she is not saved Irom the meanness oI her own nature and her desire to hoard
wealth and treasure, she will eventually lose her wealth and it will be wasted, as the Prophet (7) said:
Every mcrning IhcI Ihe :|cve: cf /|| h {,) geI up, Iwc cnge|: ccme ccwn. Cne cf Ihem :cy:, 'C /|| h,
give ccmpen:cIicn Ic Ihe cne whc :penc:, cnc Ihe cIher :cy:, 'C /|| h, ccu:e |c:: Ic Ihe cne whc i:
:Iingy." 486
And in a adth Quds:
Spenc, C :cn cf bccm, cnc l :hc|| :penc cn ycu." 487
483 Bukhr and Muslim. See Shar al-Sunnah, 8/196, Kitb al-buvu, bb thawab man an:ara musiran.
484 6a Muslim, 10/227, Kitb al-musaqah wal-mu:ariah, bb fadl in:ar al-musir.
485 6a Muslim, 10/225, Kitb al-musaqah wal-mu:ariah, bb fadl in:ar al-musir.
486 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/155, Kitb al-:akt, bb ma vukrah min imsk al-mal.
487 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 301, bb al-karam wal-fud wal-infq fi wufuh al-khavr.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
137
The true Muslim woman believes that spending money Ior the sake oI Allh (,) will never decrease
her wealth in the slightest; rather, it will bless, puriIy and increase it, as the Prophet (7) stated: ChcriIy
cce: ncI cecrec:e wec|Ih." 488
She knows that whatever she spends Ior the sake oI Allh (,) is in Iact that which is truly saved,
because it is recorded in the book oI her good deeds, whilst everything else will eventually disappear.
Ihe FrcpheI {7) crew Ihe Mu:|im: cIIenIicn Ic Ihi: higher uncer:Icncing cf genercu: giving when he
c:kec 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) whcI wc: |efI cf Ihe:heep Ihey hcc :|cughIerec. She Ic|c
him, NcIhing LuI Ihe :hcu|cer." He :cic, EveryIhing excepI Ihe :hcu|cer i: :cvec."489
The true Muslim woman is highly motivated by all oI this to give generously oI whatever possessions
and goods come to her.
An example oI giving on the part oI Muslim women is the well-known report narrated by Bukhr
Irom Ibn Abbs (W), who said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) wenI cuI cn Ihe ccy cf 'Ec cnc prcyec Iwc ck'n: wiIh nc prcyer Lefcre cr cfIer
Ihem {i.e., he prcyec cn|y Iwc ck'n:). Ihen he ccme Ic Ihe wcmen, cnc ccmmcncec Ihem Ic give in
chcriIy, :c Ihey :IcrIec Ic give Iheir ecrring: cnc neck|cce: in chcriIy."490
According to another report also given by
Bukhr:
He {7) ccme Ic Ihe wcmen cnc ccmmcncec Ihem Ic give in chcriIy, :c Ihey Legcn Ic Ihrcw Iheir
ring: inIc 8i||: c|cck." 491
/ Ihirc repcrI Ly 8ukhr, ncrrcIing frcm lLn '/LL: :IcIe: IhcI Ihe FrcpheI {7) prcyec Iwc ck'n: cn Ihe
ccy cf 'Eic wiIh nc prcyer Lefcre cr cfIer Ihem {i.e., he prcyec cn|y Iwc ck'n:), Ihen he ccme Ic Ihe
wcmen, cnc 8i|| wc: ccccmpcnying him: he ccmmcncec Ihem Ic give in chcriIy, cnc Ihe wcmen
Legcn Ic Ihrcw ccwn Iheir ecrring:.492
The wives oI the Prophet (7) and the women oI the salaf set the highest example oI generous giving,
and their deeds are recorded by history in letters oI light.
In his biography oI bishah given in Sivar alm al-nubal, Adh-Dhahab states that she gave seventy
thousand dirhams in charity, at the time when she was putting patches on her shield.
Muwiyah sent her a hundred thousand dirhams, and she gave it all away in charity beIore evening
Iell. Her servant said to her, 'Why did you not buy a dirham`s worth oI meat with it? She said, 'Why did
you not tell me to do so?
Muwiyah also sent her bracelets worth a hundred thousand, which she shared out among the other
wives oI the Prophet (7).
Ibn Al-Zubayr sent her money in two containers to the amount oI a hundred thousand. She called Ior a
large tray, and began to share the money among the people. When evening came, she said, 'O young girl,
bring me my fatr (Iood with which to break Iast), Ior she, (May Allh be pleased with her), used to Iast
all the time. The young girl said to her, 'O Mother oI the Believers, could you not have bought us a
dirham`s worth oI meat? She said, 'Do not rebuke me; iI you had reminded me I would have done so.
Her sister Asm was no less generous. Abdullh ibn al-Zubayr (W) said: 'I never saw two women
more generous than bishah and Asm, but their ways oI being generous were diIIerent. bishah would
accumulate things and then share them out, whilst Asm would never keep anything until the next day.
Ihe FrcpheI: wife ZcyncL LinI Jc:h u:ec Ic wcrk wiIh her cwn hcnc: cnc give in chcriIy frcm her
ecrning:. She wc: Ihe mc:I genercu: cf Ihe FrcpheI: wive: in giving free|y cnc ccing gccc ceec:.
/cccrcing Ic c ccIh ncrrcIec Ly lmm Mu:|im frcm 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her), Ihe
488 6a Muslim, 16/141, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb istihbb al-afu wal-tawadu.
489 Reported by Tirmidh, 4/644, In Kitb ifft al-qivmah, 33. The reward Ior everything except the shoulder would be stored up Ior them
in the HereaIter, as they had given it all away in charity. The part that they had kept Ior themselves, the shoulder, had in eIIect been 'spent
as it carried no such reward. |Translator|
490 Fat al-Br, 10/330, Kitb al-libs, bb al-qalid wal-sakhab lil-nis.
491 Fat al-Br, 10/330, Kitb al-libs, bb al-khtim lil-nis.
492 Fat al-Br, 10/331, Kitb al-libs, bb al-qurt lil-nis.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
138
FrcpheI {7) Ic|c hi: wive: cLcuI ZcyncL: Ihe fir:I cf ycu Ic jcin me {cfIer cecIh) wi|| Le Ihe cne whc
hc: Ihe |cnge:I hcnc." 'bi:hch :cic: Ihey Legcn Ic mec:ure Iheir hcnc: cgcin:I cne cncIher Ic :ee
whc hcc Ihe |cnge:I hcnc, cnc Ihe cne whc hcc Ihe |cnge:I hcnc: cf c|| cf u: wc: ZcyncL, Leccu:e
:he u:ec Ic wcrk wiIh her hcnc: cnc give chcriIy frcm her ecrning:." 493
Umar ibn al-Khab (W) sent Zaynab her annual salary, and when it was brought to her, she said:
'May Allh Iorgive Umar! Others oI my sisters are more capable oI sharing this out than I am. They
told her, 'This is all Ior you. She said, 'Subn Allh! Pour it out and cover it with a cloth. Then she
told Barzah bint RaI, the narrator oI this report: 'Put your hand in and take a handIul oI it, and take it to
Ban So-and-so and Ban So-and-so - who were orphans or related to her. This was repeated until there
was only a little leIt under the cloth. Barzah bint RaI said to Zaynab: 'May Allh Iorgive you, O Mother
oI the Believers! By Allh (,), it is our right to have some. Zaynab said: 'What is leIt under the cloth is
Ior you. (Barzah bint RaI) said that they Iound eighty-Iive dirhams under the cloth. Zaynab said, 'O
Allh, do not let me live to receive another payment like this Irom Umar, and she died beIore the time
Ior the next payment came.494
Ibn Sad reported that when the money was brought to Zaynab, she started saying, 'O Allh, do not let
me see this money again next year, Ior it is a fitnah (temptation). Then she shared it out among her
relatives and those who were in need, until it was all gone. Umar (W) heard about this, and said, 'This
woman is destined Ior good. He stood at her door and conveyed his salm to her, then said: 'I have
heard about what you gave out to others. Send her a thousand dirhams to keep Ior herselI. But she did
the same thing with that money, and did not even keep a single dirham or dinr Ior herselI.
Among the women to whose generosity history bears witness is Saknah bint al-pusayn who would
give generously oI whatever she had. II she had no money, she would take oII her own jewellery and give
it to those who were destitute.
Atkah bint Yazd ibn Muwiyah gave up all oI her money to the poor members oI Ab SuIyan`s
Iamily.
Umm al-Bann, the sister oI Umar ibn Abdul-Azz, was a marvellous example oI generous giving.
She said, 'Everyone has a passion, and my passion is giving. She used to Iree slaves every week, and
equip horsemen to Iight Ior the sake oI Allh (,). She would say, 'UII to stinginess! II it were a shirt I
would not wear it, and iI it were a road I would not Iollow it.495
Zubaydah, the wiIe oI the Khalfah Harn al-Rashd, had a channel dug to bring water Irom springs
and rain-pools to Makkah to provide Iresh water Ior the inhabitants oI the city and Ior the pilgrims. This
was named Avn Zubaydah (the spring oI Zubaydah), and was known as one oI the wonders oI the world
at that time. When her treasurer objected to the high cost oI this project, she told him: 'Do it, even iI
every single blow oI the axe costs a dinr.
II we were to discuss all the women in our history who were pioneers oI generous giving, we could Iill
entire volumes. It is enough Ior us to know that these kinds oI generous, charitable, believing women
have never disappeared Irom Muslim societies, Irom the dawn oI Islm until the present day. In every era
and region oI the Islmic world, these women have held a noble and prominent position, and their
generosity is enshrined in the many awqf, the Muslims. They wiped away the tears oI the orphan,
charitable institutions, schools, mosques, hospitals, etc., that exist throughout the Muslim lands. These
women sought out areas oI need, poverty, deprivation and misery, and showered their generosity on the
less Iortunate by establishing charitable institutions that would beneIit relieved the suIIering oI the
wretched, eased the hardship oI the aIIlicted and clothed the body oI the naked.
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI her religion never looks down upon any
charitable deed, no matter how small it may be; she strives to do as much as she is able, Iirm in her
conviction that Allh (,) will reward her good deeds, no matter how small, as Allh (,) says:
Cn nc :cu| cce: /||h p|cce c Lurcen grecIer Ihcn iI ccn Lecr... (Qur`n 2: 286)
4936a Muslim, 16/8, Kitb fadail al-sahabah, bab fadil umm al-muminn Zavnab.
494Ibn Sad, al-Tabaqt, 8/109, 110; 6ift al-6afwah, 2/48,49; Sivr Alam al-Nubala, 2/212.
495 Ibn al-Jawz, Akm al-nis, p. 446.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
139
She also responds to the words oI the Prophet (7): FrcIecI ycur:e|ve: frcm Ihe Fire even if iI i: wiIh hc|f
c ccIe" 496
C 'bi:hch, prcIecI ycur:e|f frcm Ihe Fire, even if iI i: cn|y wiIh hc|f c ccIe, fcr iI ccn LenefiI c hungry
per:cn c: much c: cne whc hc: encugh Ic ecI." 497
The Muslim woman may give charity with whatever she possesses oI the Iood she has at home or her
husband`s money, so long as he is happy Ior her to do so. In this case, she will be rewarded Ior what she
spends, her husband will be rewarded Ior what he has earned, and the treasurer will also be rewarded, as
is stated in a number oI adth narrated by Bukhr, Muslim and others, Ior example:
lf c wcmen give: in chcriIy cf Ihe fccc cf her hcu:e {ccccrcing Ic c repcrI given Ly Mu:|im: cf Ihe
hcu:e cf her hu:Lcnc), wiIhcuI :pencing in :uch c wcy c: ccu|c ccu:e ruinIc her hu:Lcnc, Ihen :he wi||
Le rewcrcec fcr whcI he ecrn:, cnc Ihe Irec:urer wi|| Le :imi|cr|y rewcrcec, cnc Ihe rewcrc cf cny cne
cf Ihem wi|| ncI ceIrccI frcm Ihe rewcrc cf cncIher. " 498
Islm wants the Muslims, men and women, to be constructive, beneIicial members oI their societies,
always helping those who are deprived and destitute, to the best oI their abilities. Every good deed is
described as an act oI charity (adaqah), as the Prophet (7) said:
Every Mu:|im mu:I give chcriIy." Ihey :cic, C Me::enger cf /||h, whcI if he ccnncI cc IhcI?" He :cic,
Ihen |eI him he|p cne whc i: in ce:percIe neec. " He :cic, Ihen |eI him cc gccc, cnc refrcin frcm ccing
evi|, cnc IhcI wi|| Le cn ccI cf chcriIy cn hi: pcrI. " 499
Islm has opened wide the doors oI good deeds to men and women, rich and poor alike, so that anyone
may have the opportunity to do good. Everyone who has uttered the words oI the Shahadah is required to
do good deeds, which have been termed adaqah. The poor person need not Ieel that he is deprived oI the
chance to take part in doing good in society just because he has little or no money. Every good deed or
Iavour is described as a adaqah, and the poor man or woman will be rewarded Ior a good deed just as a
rich man or woman will be rewarded Ior money spent generously: Every gccc ceec i: cccqcn." 500
Thus Islm guarantees that all members oI a society will participate in building, serving and improving it,
and that all oI them will Ieel the satisIaction oI this participation which will give them back their pride and
honour and will bring about their reward.
The generous Muslim woman gives to the poor and needy who are too proud to ask Ior help, which
makes people think that they are Iree Irom want. She tries to seek them out as much as she is able, Ior
they are the Iirst people who should be given help. These are the ones to whom the Prophet (7) reIerred
when he said:
Ihe pccr mcn i: ncI Ihe cne whc Icke: c ccIe cr Iwc, cr c mcuIhfu| cr Iwc, Ihen Iurn: cwcy. Ihe pccr
mcn i: Ihe cne whc i: Icc prcuc Ic c:k fcr cnyIhing." 5 50 01 1
The Muslim woman gives in charity to orphans as much as she is able. II she is well-oII, she sponsors
an orphan and helps to bring him up and educate him, spending on him and taking care oI him, hoping Ior
the high status that Allh (,) has prepared Ior the one who sponsors an orphan, which is the status oI
being in the vicinity oI the Prophet (7) in Paradise:
l cnc Ihe cne whc :pcn:cr: cn crphcn wi|| Le |ike Ihi: in Fcrcci:e, " cnc he he|c up hi: incex cnc micc|e
finger: cnc he|cIhem cpcrI." 502
The Muslim woman also strives to help the widow and the poor, Iollowing the guidance oI her
religion, which has promised a great reward to the one who takes care oI them, a reward that rivals that
496 See Eat al-Br, 3/283, Kitb al-zakat, bb ittaqu al-nr wa law bi shiqq tamarah.
497 Reported with a a isnd by Amad, 6/79.
498 Fat al-Br, 3/293, Kitb al-:akt, bb man amara khadimahu bil-adaqah.
499 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/143, Kitb al-:akt, bb kullu marufin adaqah.
500 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 6/142, Kitb al-:akt, bb kullu marufin adaqah
501 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 167, Bb mulatafah al-vatim wal-maskn.
502 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/43, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb thawab kafil al-vatm.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
140
earned by the one who Iasts during the day and stands in prayer at night, or the one who Iights Ior the
sake oI Allh (,), as the Prophet (7) said:
Ihe cne whc :Irive: Ic he|p Ihe wiccw cnc Ihe pccr i: |ike Ihe cne whc fighI: in |nc fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h
{,)." /nc l |Ihe ncrrcIcr] Le|ieve he c| :c :cic: cnc |ike Ihe cne whc :Icnc: cI nighI in prcyer wiIhcuI re:I
cnc fc:I: ccnIinuc||y wiIhcuI Lrecking hi: fc:I." 503
Taking care oI widows and the poor, and sponsoring orphans are among the most noble oI humane
deeds, and are most beIitting to the Muslim woman, as they increase her in humanity, honour and
gentility.
She oes not Remind the BeneIiciuries oI her Churity
II Allh (,) enables the Muslim woman to give generously, she should not Iall into the sin oI
reminding people oI her generosity or harming them; she should be keen to keep her giving pure and
sincerely Ior the sake oI Allh (,), so that she will be one oI those whom Allh (,) has described in the
Qur`n:
Ihc:e whc :penc Iheir :uL:Icnce in Ihe ccu:e cf /||h, cnc fc||cw ncI up Iheir gifI: wiIh remincer:
cf Iheir generc:iIy cr wiIh injury - fcr Ihem Iheir rewcrc i: wiIh Iheir Lcrc: cn Ihem :hc|| Le nc fecr, ncr
:hc|| Ihey grieve. (Qur`n 2: 262)
The Muslim woman does not Iorget that there is nothing more likely to cancel out good deeds and
destroy the reward oI charity than reminding others oI it or harming them. Allh (,) warns the believers
against these deeds in such a way that the believer is shaken and would not even think oI reminding
others oI his charity or harming them:
C ycu whc Le|ievel Ccnce| ncI ycur chcriIy Ly remincer: cf ycur generc:iIy cr Ly injury. (Qur`n
2:264)
Reminding the poor man whom need has compelled to accept aid Irom others is humiliating and
disrespectIul. It is Iorbidden by Islm, which counts the one who gives and the one who takes as brothers,
between whom there is no diIIerence except in their taqw and good deeds. A brother does not remind his
brother oI his charity; he does not humiliate him or cause him to lose Iace. In a adth narrated by Muslim
Irom Ab Dharr, the Prophet (7) issued a strong warning to those who remind others oI their charity,
and counted them among those doomed souls to whom Allh (,) will not even speak on the Day oI
Judgement:
Ihere cre Ihree Ic whcm /||h {,) wi|| ncI :peck cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn, ncr |cck cI, ncr ccmmenc
Ihem, cnc Iheir: wi|| Le c :evere puni:hmenI." Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) repecIec Ihi: Ihree Iime:. /L
Dhcrr :cic, Ihey cre Iru|y |c:I cnc cccmec. Whc cre Ihey, C Me::enger cf /|| h?" He :cic, Ihe cnewhc
|eI: hi: gcrmenI Irci| Le|cw hi: cnk|e:, Ihe cne whc reminc: pecp|e cf hi: chcriIy, cnc Ihe cne whc :e||:
hi: gccc: Ly mecn: cf mcking fc|:e ccIh:." 504
She is Putient
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islm and who is inIused with its noble characteristics trains
herselI to be patient, to control her anger, to Iorgive and to respond to an evil deed with something better, in
accordance with the words oI the Qur`n:
...Whc re:Ircin cnger, cnc pcrccn |c||] men-fcr /||h |cve: Ihc:e whc cc gccc. (Qur`n 3: 134)
Ncr ccn Gcccne:: cnc Evi| Le euc|. Fepe| |Evi|] wiIh whcI i: LeIIer: Ihen wi|| he LeIween whcm
cnc ycu wc: hcIrec Leccme c: iI were ycur frienc cnc inIimcIel /nc nc cne wi|| Le grcnIec :uch
gcccne:: excepI Ihc:e whc exerci:e pcIience cnc :e|f-re:IrcinI - ncne LuI per:cn: cf Ihe grecIe:I
gccc fcrIune. (Qur`n 41: 34-35)
503 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/45, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb thawab kafil al-vatm.
504 6a Muslim, 2/114, Kitb al-imn, bb tarm isbal al-i:ar wal-mann bil-ativah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
141
SelI-restraint at the time oI anger, and adopting a calm and patient attitude, are among the most
beautiIul qualities oI Muslim men and women that Allh (,) loves to see in His believing slaves. This is
what was stated by the Prophet (7) in the adth narrated by Ibn Abbs (W):
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic Ic /:hcjj '/Lcu|-Ccy:: 'Ycu hcve Iwc uc|iIie: IhcI /|| h {,) |cve:: pcIience cnc
ce|iLercIicn." 505
Hence Ihe FrcpheI {7) Ic|c Ihe mcn whc ccme c:king him Ic ccvi:e him ju:I cne wcrc: Dc ncI
Leccme cngry." Ihe mcn repecIec hi: reue:I fcr ccvice :everc| Iime:, cnc ecch Iime Ihe FrcpheI { 7)
:cic: Dc ncI Leccme cngry." 506
The Muslim woman may become angry sometimes, but her anger is Ior the sake oI Allh (,), not Ior her
own sake. She may become angry when she sees carelessness, wilIul neglect and downright insolence
towards matters oI religion among women. She has the right to be angry in such situations. This is how the
Prophet (7) used to be, as Bukhr and Muslim narrated:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) never Icck revenge fcr hi: cwn :cke, LuI if Ihe |cw: cf /|| h {,) were vic|cIec, he
wcu|c Icke revenge fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,)." 507
The Prophet (7) used to become Iurious, and his Iace would redden, iI he heard some insult to the
reputation oI Islm, or iI he discovered some error or negligence in applying its laws and carrying out its
punishments.
He Leccme furicu: Ihe ccy c mcn ccme Ic him cnc :cic, l c|wcy: ccme |cIe Ic :c't c'-:ucn {fcjr
prcyer) Leccu:e cf Sc-cnc-:c whc c|wcy: mcke: Ihe prcyer Icc |enghIy." Ihe FrcpheI { 7) wc: never
:een c: cngry in hi: reLuke c: he wc: cn IhcI ccy. He :cic, C pecp|e, Ihere cre cmcng ycu Ihc:e whc
puI cIher: cff frcm gccc ceec:. When cnycne |ecc: Ihe pecp|e in prcyer, he :hcu|c keep iI :hcrI, fcr
Lehinc him cre Ihe c|c, Ihe ycung, cnc Ihe cne whc hc: c pre::ing neec."508
He c|:c Leccme cngry Ihe ccy he reIurnec frcm c jcurney cnc fcunc c Ihin curIcin ccverec wiIh
picIure: in 'bi:hch: hcu:e. When he :cw iI, he Icre iI ccwn cnc hi: fcce reccenec. He Ic|c her: C
'bi:hch, Ihe pecp|e whc wi|| Le mc:I :evere|y puni:hec Ly /|| h {,) cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn wi|| Le
Ihc:e whc imiIcIe Ihe crecIicn cf /|| h {,)." 509
He c|:c Leccme cngry when U:mch iLn Zcyc :pcke Ic him ccncerning Ihe Mckhzumi wcmcn whc hcc
ccmmiIIec IhefI, cnc Ihe FrcpheI {7) hcc cecreec IhcI Ihe cpprcpricIe puni:hmenI Le ccrriec cuI cn
her. Ihe pecp|e :cic, Whc wi|| :peck Ic Ihe FrcpheI { 7) cLcuI her?" Ihen Ihey :cic, Whc ccre: Ic cc
Ihi: LuI U:mch iLn Zcyc, hi: Le|cvec?" Sc U:mch :pcke Ic him, cnc Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic cngri|y, /re
ycu inIercecing Ic :Icp cne cf Ihe puni:hmenI: crccinec Ly /|| h {,)?" Ihen he gcI up cnc cccre::ec
Ihe pecp|e: Ihc:e whc ccme Lefcre ycu were ce:Ircyec Leccu:ewhen cne cf Iheir ncL|emen
ccmmiIIec IhefI, Ihey |eI him cff, LuI when cne cf Ihe weck cmcng Ihem ccmmiIIec IhefI, Ihen Ihey
wcu|c ccrry cuI Ihe puni:hmenI cn him. 8y /|| h {,), if Fimch Ihe ccughIer cf Muhcmmcc were Ic
ccmmiI IhefI, l wcu|c cuI cff herhcnc." 510
Such was the anger oI the Prophet (7), and these are the valid reasons Ior anger according to Islm.
Anger should be Ior the sake oI Allh (,), not one`s own ego.
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm and Iollows the example oI the Prophet
(7) always keeps his teachings, behaviour and deeds in mind, so she controls herselI when she Ieels
angry with people, and her anger is only Ior the sake oI Allh (,), His religion and the sanctity oI His
laws.
505 6a Muslim, 1/189, Kitb al-imn, bb mubaviah wafd Abd al-Qavs.
506 Fat al-Br, 10/519, Kitb al-adb, bb al-hadhr min al-ghadab.
507 Fat al-Br, 10/519, Kitb al-munqib, bb iffah al-Nabi (U); 6a Muslim, 15/83, Kitb al-fadil, bb mubaidatahihi lil-atham.
508 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 3/409, Kitb al-alt, bb al-mn vukhaffif al-alt, this version is that given by Muslim.
509 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 12/128, Kitb al-libs, bb al-taswr, this version is that given by Muslim.
510 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 10/328, Kitb al-udd, bb qatavad al-sharif wal-mrah wal-shafaah fil-add..
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
142
She is Lusy-Going und oes Not Beur Grudges
The Muslim woman does not bear grudges, and resentment has no room in her heart, because Islm
has uprooted hatred Irom her heart, extinguished the Ilames oI anger, cleansed her soul oI enmity, and
planted the seeds oI sisterly love, tolerance and Iorgiveness.
Islm has uncompromisingly declared war on ignorance, tribalism, hostility, enmity and revenge, and
has made Iorgiveness, tolerance, love and kindness dear to the hearts oI Muslim men and women. Allh
(,) says:
...Whc re:Ircin cnger, cnc pcrccn c|| men - fcr /||h |cve: Ihc:e whc cc gccc. (Qur`n 3: 134)
This is praise Ior those who restrain their anger and do not bear grudges, who have raised themselves
to the level oI Iorgiveness and tolerance, which is a high level indeed, and very diIIicult to attain. None
can reach it except those who are pure oI heart and have shed the inclination towards hostility, enmity and
revenge and thus earned the right to reach the level of Isn, and Allh (,) loves those who do good (Al-
musinn).
Through this noble teaching, Islm was able to penetrate the hearts oI the believers, and cleanse and
puriIy them, so that hearts that had been dominated by anger and hatred became hearts that were Iilled
with love and devotion.
One oI the most striking examples oI this miraculous change oI heart is the story oI Hind bint Utbah,
whose heart beIore she embraced Islm was Iilled with the poison oI hatred and enmity towards the
Prophet (7) and his Iamily and companions. On the day oI the Conquest oI Makkah, the Prophet (7)
even declared that her blood might be shed with impunity, as a punishment Ior her having mutilated the
body oI his uncle Hamzah (W) on the day oI Uud. When she embraced Islm and Iaith penetrated deep
into her heart, she came to the Prophet (7) and said: 'O Messenger oI Allh, there was no Iamily on
earth that I would have loved to see humiliated more than your Iamily, but Irom this day on, there is no
Iamily on earth I would love to see honoured more than your Iamily.511
Eor the sake oI Allh (,) and His Religion, blood Ieuds will be Iorgotten, hostility will vanish, those
who previously hated one another will become Iriends, and the inclination towards enmity will be
uprooted.
In the most brilliant Iashion, the Qur`n raises the human soul to this diIIicult, high level. It states that
the one who has been treated unjustly has the right to deIend himselI and resist oppression (an eye Ior an
eye), but it does not allow the one who has been wronged to be overtaken by the desire Ior revenge.
Rather, it gently leads him or her towards the level oI patience, tolerance and Iorgiveness, and states that
this is something that takes a great deal oI determination and willpower:
/nc Ihc:e whc, when cn cppre::ive wrcng i: inf|icIec cn Ihem, |cre ncI ccwec LuI] he|p cnc
cefenc Ihem:e|ve:. Ihe reccmpen:e fcr cn injury i: cn injury euc| IhereIc |in cegree]: LuI if c
per:cn fcrgive: cnc mcke: reccnci|icIicn, hi: rewcrc i: cue frcm /||h: fcr /||h |cve: ncI Ihc:e whc
cc wrcng. 8uI inceec if cny cc he|p cnc cefenc Ihem:e|ve: cfIer c wrcng |ccne] Ic Ihem, cgcin:I
:uch i: nc ccu:e cf L|cme. Ihe L|cme i: cn|y cgcin:I Ihc:e whc cppre:: men wiIh wrcngccing cnc
in:c|enI|y Ircn:gre:: Leycnc Lcunc: Ihrcugh Ihe |cnc, cefying righI cnc ju:Iice: fcr :uch Ihere wi|| Le
c Fenc|Iy grievcu:. 8uI inceec if cny :hcw pcIience cnc fcrgive, IhcI wcu|c Iru|y Le cn exerci:e cf
ccurcgecu: wi|| cnc re:c|uIicn in Ihe ccncucI cf cffcir:. (Qur`n 42: 39-43)
When Ab Bakr (W) was overwhelmed with sorrow because oI the slander he heard uttered against his
daughter bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), he vowed to himselI to cut oII his help to those
ungrateIul recipients oI his bounty who had joined in the sinIul gossip. But Allh, Who knew the purity oI
Ab Bakr`s heart and his devotion to Allh (,) and His Messenger, did not allow him to be taken over by
the desire Ior revenge that crossed his mind, so He guided him back towards his essential good nature and
purity oI heart, and motivated him to strive Ior the higher level oI tolerance and Iorgiveness:
511 Fat al-Br, 7/141, Kitb munqib al-Anr, bb dhikr Hind bint Utbah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
143
LeI ncI Ihc:e cmcng ycu whc cre encuec wiIh grcce cnc cmp|iIuce cf mecn: re:c|ve Ly ccIh
cgcin:I he|ping Iheir kin:men, Ihc:e in wcnI, cnc Ihc:e whc hcve |efI Iheir hcme: in /||h: ccu:e:
LeI Ihem fcrgive cnc cver|cck, cc ycu ncI wi:h IhcI /||h :hcu|c fcrgive ycu? Fcr /||h i: CfI-
Fcrgiving, /||-Mercifu|. (Qur`n 24: 22)
Interactions between individuals in an Islmic society that is Iounded on the brotherhood oI Iaith are
not based on an attitude oI watching Ior and counting mistakes, or the desire Ior revenge, or
deIensiveness; they are based on brotherhood, overlooking errors and tolerance. This is what Islm and
the brotherhood oI Iaith call Ior:
Ncr ccn Gcccne:: cnc Evi| Le euc|. Fepe| |Evi|] wiIh whcI i: LeIIer: Ihen wi|| he LeIween whcm
cnc ycu wc: hcIrec Leccme c: iI were ycur frienc cnc inIimcIel /nc nc cne wi|| Le grcnIec :uch
gcccne:: excepI Ihc:e whc exerci:e pcIience cnc :e|f-re:IrcinI - ncne LuI per:cn: cf Ihe grecIe:I
gccc fcrIune. (Qur`n 41: 34-35)
II evil is always repaid with evil, the result will be intense hatred and bitter grudges. But iI evil is
repaid with good, it will extinguish the Iires oI hatred, calm people down, and remove their grudges. The
two women who were enemies will become true Iriends when one oI them speaks a kind word or smiles
compassionately at the other. This is a great victory Ior the one who repelled evil with something better,
and turned enmity into Iriendship, hatred to love. No one attains this but persons oI the greatest good
Iortune, as the Qur`n states. Such a person responds to the evil she Iaces with a measure oI patience and
selI-control, and repels it with something good.
This is the attitude oI true believing women in a Muslim community that is based on love, Iriendship
and tolerance. Many vt and adth reinIorce this message and seek to instill this attitude in believers`
hearts, always training them to adopt that attitude oI Iorgiveness that will leave no trace oI hatred,
resentment or malice:
.Sc cver|cck |cny humcn fcu|I:] wiIh grccicu: fcrgivene::. (Qur`n 15: 85)
The Prophet (7), by his words and deeds, was a living example oI this worthy human virtue oI
tolerance and Iorgiveness, and he urged others to adopt it also.
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) never :Iruck cny per:cn, wcmcn cr :ervcnI wiIh hi: hcnc, excepI when he wc: fighIing
in Ihe wcy cf /||h {,), cnc he never Icck cffence cI cnyIhing cnc :cughI revenge fcr iI, excepI when
cne cf Ihe |cw: cf /||h {,) hcc Leen vic|cIec, cnc Ihen he wcu|c Ickerevenge fcr Ihe :cke cf /||h
{,)." 512
He (7) used to Iollow the commands oI Allh (,):
Hc|c Ic fcrgivene::: ccmmcnc whcI i: righI: LuI Iurn cwcy frcm Ihe igncrcnI. (Qur`n 7: 199)
By Iollowing the command oI Allh (,), Fepe| Evi| wiIh whcI i: LeIIer. (Qur`an 41: 34) the Prophet
(7) was a unique example oI this sublime attitude, which encompassed and appealed to all people. He
did not repay their evil with evil, rather he repelled it with an attitude oI Iorgiveness and good manners,
turning away Irom the ignorant and repelling evil with something better. Anas (W) said:
l wc: wc|king wiIh Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7), cnc he wc: wecring c Ncjrcni c|cck wiIh c :Iiff cc||cr. /
Leccuin ccme up Ic him cnc grcLLec him rcugh|y, cnc l |cckec cI Ihe FrcpheI: :hcu |cer cnc :cw Ihe
mcrk |efI Ly hi: cc||cr Leccu:e cf Ihi: rcugh cpprccch. Ihen Ihe 8eccuin :cic, 'C Muhcmmcc, crcer IhcI
l Le given :cme cf Ihe wec|Ih cf /|| h {,) IhcI ycu hcvel Ihe FrcpheI {7) Iurnec Ic him cnc :mi|ec,
Ihen crcerec IhcI he Le given :cmeIhing." 513
Ihe cIIiIuce cf fcrgivene:: wc: :c ceep|y enIrenchec in hi: ncL|e hecrI IhcI he even fcrgcve Ihe Jewi:h
wcmcn whc :enI him pci:cnec muIIcn, c: 8ukhr, Mu:|im cnc cIher: ncrrcIe. Ihi: Jewi:h wcmcn :enI c
gifI cf pci:cnec muIIcn Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7), cnc he cnc c grcup cf hi: Ccmpcnicn: Legcn Ic ecI iI,
Ihen he :cic, SIcpl lI i: pci:cnecl" Ihe wcmcn wc: LrcughI Ic Ihe FrcpheI { 7) cnc he c:kec her,
512 6a Muslim, 15/84, Kitb al-fadail, bb mubaidatihi lil-atham.
513 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 344, Bb al-afu wal- rad an al-fahilin.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
144
WhcI mcce ycu cc IhcI?" She :cic: l wcnIec Ic kncw if ycu were rec||y c FrcpheI, in which cc:e /|| h
{,) wcu|c wcrn ycu cnc Ihe pci:cn wcu|c ncI hcrm ycu. lf ycu were ncI c FrcpheI, Ihen we wcu|c hcve
Leen ric cf ycu." Ihe Ccmpcnicn: c:kec, Shc|| we ki|| her?" He :cic, Nc," cnc fcrgcve her. 514
When Ihe IriLe cf Dcw: reLe||ec cnc refu:ec Ic fc||cw Ihe ccmmcnc: cf /||h {,) cnc Hi: Me::enger, /|-
Iufcy| iLn '/mr c|-Dcw: ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc :cic, Dcw: hcve reLe||ec, :c prcy Ic /|| h {,)
cgcin:I Ihem." Ihe FrcpheI {7) fccec Ihe q|c'cn cnc rci:ec hi: hcnc:, cnc Ihe pecp|e :cic, Ihey cre
fini:hecl" 8uI Ihe FrcpheI {7), whc wc: mercifu| cnc Ic|ercnI, cnc cic ncI wcnI Ic :ee Ihe puni:hmenI
cf /||h {,) Lefc|| pecp|e, prcyec fcr Dcw:, :cying, C /|| h, guice Dcw: cnc Lring Ihem here: C /|| h,
guice Dcw: cnc Lring Ihem here: C /|| h, guice Dcw: cnc Lring Ihem here." 515
The Prophet (7) instilled in people`s hearts the attitude oI always Iorgiving and being tolerant, even
when Iaced with harshness and being boycotted. With the deep insight with which Allh (,) had
endowed him, he understood that people respond better to tolerance than to harshness.
Iherefcre when 'ULch iLn 'bmir c:kec him, C Me::enger cf /|| h, Ie|| me Ihe Le:I cf ceec:," he Ic|c
him, C 'ULch, mcinIcin Iie: wiIh Ihe cne whc cuI: ycu cff, give Ic Ihe cne whc ceprive: ycu, cnc cc
ncI :eek revenge cn Ihe cne whc wrcng: ycu." /cccrcing Ic cncIher repcrI, he :cic, Fcrgive Ihe cne
whc wrcng: ycu." 516
The Mothers oI the Believers, (May Allh be pleased with them) also adopted this sublime attitude. An
example oI this is the attitude oI 6aIiyyah (May Allh be pleased with her) towards her Iemale slave who
went to the Khalfah Umar ibn al-Khab and said, 'O Amr al-Muminn, 6aIiyyah loves the Sabbath
(Saturday) and maintains ties with the Jews. Umar sent Ior 6aIiyyah and questioned her about that. She
replied: 'As Iar as the Sabbath is concerned, I have not love it since Allh (,) replaced it with Jumuah
(Eriday) Ior me. As Ior the Jews, I have relatives among them with whom I uphold the ties oI kinship.
Then she turned to her slave and asked her what had made her tell such a lie. The slave woman answered,
'Shavtn. 6aIiyyah distinguished herselI by responding to evil with something better. She told the slave
woman: 'Go, you are Iree.517
No doubt 6aIiyyah was one oI those to whom the words oI the Qur`n applied:
Ncr ccn Gcccne:: cnc Evi| Le euc|. Fepe| |Evi|] wiIh whcI i: LeIIer: Ihen wi|| he LeIween whcm
cnc ycu wc: hcIrec Leccme c: iI were ycur frienc cnc inIimcIel /nc nc cne wi|| Le grcnIec :uch
gcccne:: excepI Ihc:e whc exerci:e pcIience cnc :e|f-re:IrcinI - ncne LuI per:cn: cf Ihe grecIe:I
gccc fcrIune. (Qur`n 41: 34-35)
SIe wus mosL cerLuInIy u person oI LIe greuLesL good IorLune.
She is Lusy on People, Not Hurd
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI Islm is easy on people, not hard, because
making things easy Ior others is the best attitude that Allh (,) likes to see in His believing servants:
./||h inIenc: every fcci|iIy fcr ycu: He cce: ncI wcnI Ic puI ycu Ic cifficu|Iie:. (Qur`n 2: 185)
ThereIore the Prophet (7) encouraged the Muslims to be easy on people, and Iorbade them to make
things diIIicult:
Iecch cnc mcke Ihing: ec:y, cc ncI mcke Ihem cifficu|I. lf cny cf ycu Leccme: cngry, |eI him keep
:i|enI." 518
514 Reported by Bukhr and Muslim with similar wording. See Fat al-Br, 7/497, Kitb al-magh:, bb al-shat al-masmumah and 5/230,
Kitb al-hibbah, bb qabul al-hadivah min al-mushrikn, 6a Muslim, 14/178, Kitb al-salm, bb al-amm.
515 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 5/150, Kitb al-dawat, bat al-du lil-kuffr bil-hidavah
516 Reported by Amad and A-abarn; the men oI Amad`s isnd are thiqt. See Mafmaal-Zawid, 8/188, Bb makrim al-akhlq.
517 IbnAbd al-Barr, Al-Istiab, 4/1872; Ibn Hajar, Al-Isabah, 8/127.
518 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1342, Bb al-afu wal-sufh an al-ns.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
145
The woman who resorts to making things diIIicult and complicating matters when the teachings oI Islm
are so clear is a woman who is neither pious nor sound; nobody does such a thing except the one whose
nature is twisted and mean-spirited, and whose education is lacking. The Muslim woman who is
straightIorward and is obedient to Allh (,) and the teachings oI Islm does not like to cause diIIiculties or
complicate matters. In this way she is Iollowing the example oI the Prophet (7) whom bishah (May
Allsh be pleased with her) described as Iollows:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) wc: never fccec wiIh Ihe chcice LeIween Iwc Ihing: LuI he Icck Ihe ec:ier cf
Ihe Iwc, :c |cng c: iI wc: ncI c :in. lf iI wc: c :in, he wcu|c Le Ihe furIhe:I cf Ihe pecp|e frcm iI. /nc Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) never Icck revenge fcr him:e|f, LuI if Ihe Lcunc: cf /||h {,) were Ircn:gre::ec, Ihen
he wcu|c Icke revenge fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,)." 519
The true Muslim woman adheres to the teachings oI the Prophet (7); she does not go beyond the
limits set by him, or disobey his commands.
She is Not Lnvious
How oIten does the ordinary woman Iall into the sin oI envy, when she sees many oI those who are
inIerior to her in beauty, knowledge and intelligence wallowing in riches and luxury and she does not
even have the smallest part oI what they enjoy? The alert, truly-guided Muslim woman, however, is saved
Irom stumbling into such error because she has learnt, Irom the teachings oI Islm, that everything that
happens in liIe happens according to the will and decree oI Allh (,). The pleasures oI this liIe, no matter
how great, are as nothing in comparison to the reward that Allh (,) has prepared Ior those believing
women who are content with what Allh (,) has given them. The true value oI a woman rests in her level
oI taqw and good deeds, not in her transient worldly earnings. The more these values are reinIorced in
the woman`s soul, the purer and more tranquil her soul becomes, and she will become one oI the people
oI Paradise who have earned the pleasure oI Allh (,), even iI her acts oI worship are Iew. Imm Amad
reported, with a a isnd Irom Anas ibn Mlik:
We were :iIIing wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc he :cic, 'Cne cf Ihe pecp|e cf Fcrcci:e wi|| ncw ccme Ic
ycu, cnc c mcn cf Ihe An ccme c|cng, hi: Lecrc cripping frcm hi: wuc , cnc ccrrying hi: :cncc|: in
hi: |efI hcnc. Ihe nexI ccy, Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic Ihe :cme Ihing, cnc Ihe :cme mcn cppecrec, |ccking
Ihe :cme c: he hcc cn Ihe previcu: ccy. Cn Ihe Ihirc ccy, Ihe FrcpheI { 7) cgcin :cic Ihe :cme Ihing,
cnc Ihe :cme mcn cppecrec cgcin. When Ihe FrcpheI {7) |efI, '/Lcu||h iLn '/mr iLn c|-'b fc||cwec
Ihe mcn cnc :cic, 'l hcve fc||en cuI wiIh my fcIher cnc :wcrn IhcI l wi|| ncI enIer hi: hcu:e fcr Ihree
{ccy:), cnc l IhcughI IhcI l ccu|c :Icy wiIh ycu unIi| Ihe Iime i: up. He :cic, 'IhcI:fine." /nc: :cic:
'/Lcu||h u:ec Ic Ie|| hcw he :Icyec wiIh him fcr Ihc:e Ihree nighI: cnc never :cw Ihe mcn geI up Ic
prcy cI nighI, LuI when he cwcke cnc Iurnec cver in hi: :|eep, he wcu|c menIicn /|| h {,) cnc :cy
'A''nu ckcc, unIi| he gcI up fcr 6c't c'-Fc. '/Lcu||h :cic: '8uI l never hecrc him :cy cnyIhing LuI
gccc. When Ihe Ihree ccy: were cver cnc l hcc Legun Ic Ihink IhcI hi: ceec: were ncIhing remcrkcL|e,
l :cic, C :|cve cf /||hl Ihere wc: nc ucrre| LeIween me cnc my fcIher, LuI l hecr c Ihe FrcpheI {7)
:cy Ihree Iime:, 'Cne cf Ihe pecp|e cf Fcrcci:e wi|| ccme Ic ycu, cnc ycu cppecrec ecch Iime, :c l
wcnIec Ic ccme cnc :Icy wiIh ycu Ic :ee whcI ycu cic, :c IhcI l ccu|c fc||cw ycur excmp|e, LuI l cic ncI
:ee ycu cc cnyIhing cuI cf Ihe crcincry. WhcI i: iI IhcI hc: rci:ec ycu Ic :uch c grecI :IcIu: c: Ihe
FrcpheI {7) :cic?" Ihe mcn :cic, lI i: cn|y whcI ycu hcve :een." When l Iurnec cwcy, he cc||ec me
Lcck cnc :cic, lI i: cn|y whcI ycu hcve :een, LuI l cc ncI hc|c cnyIhing cgcin:I cny Mu :|im in my hecrI,
cnc l cc ncI envy cnycne fcr Ihe L|e::ing: IhcI /|| h {,) hc: Le:Icwec cn him." '/Lcu|| h :cic: 'Ihi: i:
whcI rci:ec ycu Ic IhcI grecI :IcIu:, cnc Ihi: i: whcI we ccu|c ncI cchieve." 520
This adth indicates the eIIects oI having a heart that is Iree oI hatred, envy, malice and treachery, and
its impact on deciding a person`s Iate in the HereaIter, raising his status in the sight oI Allh (,) and
making his deeds acceptable, even iI they are Iew. These eIIects can be clearly seen in the example oI this
man whose acts oI worship were Iew, but he would enter Paradise because oI the purity oI his heart and
519 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-sunnah, 13/260, Kitb al-fadil, bb ikhtivarihi avsar al-amravn.
520 Musnad Amad, 3/166.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
146
the Iact that people were saIe Irom harm on his part. These eIIects are in direct contrast with the woman
about whom the Prophet (7) was asked; although she spent her nights in prayer and her days in Iasting,
she used to insult and mistreat her neighbours, so the Prophet (7) said: She wi|| Le in He||."521
The person who weighs heavily in the balance oI Islm (i.e., is successIul) is the one whose heart is
always pure and Iree Irom hatred, malice, envy and resentment, even iI his acts oI worship are Iew. A
person who perIorms many acts oI worship when his or her heart is Iilled with Ieelings oI resentment,
envy and hatred, is merely perIorming an outward, mechanical action that clearly has no solid Ioundation
oI Iaith. Hence it has no eIIect in puriIying his soul oI envy which the Prophet (7) stated does not
belong in the heart oI the one who has true Iaith: FciIh cnc envy cc ncI gc IcgeIher i n Ihe hecrI cf Ihe
Le|iever." 522
Damurah ibn Thalabah (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Ihe pecp|e wi|| cc fine :c |cng c: Ihey cc ncI envy cne cncIher."523
The true Muslim woman is the one who combines proper worship with purity oI heart, uncontaminated
by envy, malice and hatred. In this way she may scale the heights oI true taqw and attain a high status in
the sight oI Allh (,), and also earn the love and respect oI other people in this world. Thus she will
become a solid brick in the structure oI a pure, cohesive Muslim community that deserves to carry the
message oI Allh (,) to mankind.
She Avoids Bousting und Seeking Iume
Among the attributes of the Muslim woman who understands and follows the teachings of
lslm are her humility, truthfulness and realistic approach. She does not have an attitude of
superiority, self-admiration and telling lies, and she does not claim to have more than she
actually has in order to show off to her friends and peers under false pretences.
She tries to avoid such unpleasant habits, because they do not befit the nature of a woman
whose personality has been moulded by the principles of lslm. A woman came to the Prophet
(7) asking whether she would be permitted to say that her husband had given her something
which he had not given her, in order to boast and show off. The Prophet (7) replied:
Ihe cne whc crecIe: c fc|:e impre::icn cf hcving Leen given :cmeIhing which he wc: ncI given i: |ike
Ihe cne whc wecr: Ihe gcrmenI cf fc|:ehccc." 524
Islm is a religion that is based on sincerity, purity, humility and realism; it abhors deception,
haughtiness, arrogance, conceit and Ialse claims. So it hates to see its Iollowers boasting under Ialse
pretences, looking down on others, or hoarding wealth Ior love oI Iame. It sharply criticizes those who
adopt such attitudes, just as it rebukes the one who wears the garment oI Ialsehood.
Her Speech is Not Lxuggeruted or AIIected
The true Muslim is natural in her behavior and conduct; she does not exaggerate or aIIect her speech in
order to attract attention, because these are sickening, hateIul attributes that do not exist in people oI
sound nature. Only those who are twisted or whose sound nature is lacking speak in an exaggerated or
aIIected manner. Eor this reason the Prophet (7) was very harsh on those men and women who
exaggerate in their speech, and aIter his death, Ab Bakr and Umar were similarly harsh on them, to the
extent that Abdullh ibn Masd said:
8y Him Le:ice: Whcm Ihere i: nc cIher gcc, l never :cw cnycne whc wc: hcr:her cn Ihc:e whc
excggercIe in Iheir :peech Ihcn Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7), cnc l never :cw cnycne whc wc: hcr:her
521 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/210, Bb la vudh frah
522 Reported by Ibn pibbn in his 6a, 10/466, Kitb al-sivar, bb fadl al-fihd.
. ann dh - l hasad wa - l fi b mafa B , 8/78 , id Zaw - al Mafma See . t thiq are d isn ; the men oI its n abar - Reported by A 523
524 6a Muslim, 14/110, Kitb al-libs wal-:inah,, bb al-nahv an al-ta:wir fil-libs wa ghavrih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
147
cn Ihem cfIer hi: cecIh Ihcn /L 8ckr, cnc l Ihink IhcI 'Umcr fecrec Ihe mc:I fcr Ihem cf c|| pecp|e cn
ecrIh." 525
She Hus u Likeuble Personulity
The Muslim woman is keen to be liked by others, through her good deeds and through the
positive effect she has on them, as well as by having a good reputation in society.
People's love for her is a sign that Allh (,) loves her too, because in this case He opens
people's hearts to her and makes her accepted and well-liked by everyone she meets or hears
about her. Concerning this, the Prophet (7) said:
When /||h {,) |cve: c per:cn, he cc||: JiLr| cnc :cy:: 'l |cve Sc-cnc-:c, :c |cve him. Sc JiLr| wi|| |cve
him, cnc wi|| cc|| cuI in Ihe hecven:: '/|| h {,) |cve: Sc-cnc-:c, :c |cve him. Ihen Ihe pecp|e cf hecven
wi|| |cve him, cnc he wi|| Le we|| -cccepIec cn ecrIh. lf /||h {,) hcIe: c per:cn, he cc||: JiLr| cnc :cy:: 'l
hcIe Sc-cnc-:c, :c hcIe him., Sc JiLr| wi|| hcIe him, cnc wi|| cc|| cuI in Ihe hecven:: '/|| h {,) hcIe: Sc-
cnc-:c, :c hcIe him. Ihen Ihe pecp|e cf hecven wi|| hcIe him, cnc he wi|| Le ce:pi:ec cn ecrIh."526
This is the unseen, divine reason why some Muslim men and women enjoy the love oI others towards
them. It is the love oI Allh (,) which He has spread among the people oI heaven and earth, and makes
those Iortunate people well-accepted on earth, or else His hatred causes them to be despised on earth.
No-one can earn the love oI Allh (,) except the one who turns to Him seeking His pleasure, and no-one
earns His hatred except the one who turns away Irom His guidance and disobeys Him.
The good news oI Allh`s love and pleasure is given only to believing men and women, those who
believe and do good works, which are commended by other people. Allh (,) will hasten to bring them
glad tidings in their own liIetimes, so He causes people to praise them and love them, as is seen in the
a adth narrated by Muslim Irom Ab Dharr, who said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: c:kec, 'WhcI cc ycu Ihink cf c mcn whc cce: c gccc ceec, cnc pecp|e prci:e
him fcr iI? He :cic, 'IhcI i: g|cc Iicing: fcr Ihe Le|iever IhcI he hc: receivec in Ihi: wcr|c." /cccrcing Ic
cncIher repcrI c|:c ncrrcIec Ly Mu:|im: cnc Ihe pecp|e |cve him fcr iI." 527
The Muslim woman who has the best characteristics and is adhering to the limits set by Allh (,),
doing what He commands and avoiding what He Iorbids, is the woman who deserves to receive these
glad tidings in this world. She deserves to be loved by everyone who knows her or hears oI her good
deeds, such as tolerance, turning away Iorm ignorant women, responding to evil with good, helping the
poor and destitute, wanting the best Ior others, denying herselI, speaking the truth, reIraining Irom talking
unnecessarily, being Iair in her judgement and treatment oI others, avoiding malicious gossip and hurting
others, and other righteous attitudes and virtues that Islm encourages and describes as an adornment Ior
the Muslim woman. Such a woman has truly understood the teachings oI her religion; she has earned the
love oI people in this world and the pleasure oI Allh (,) and Paradise in the HereaIter.
She is Iriendly und Likeuble
The sensitive Muslim woman is Iriendly and likeable. She makes Iriends with other women and mixes
with them, and they in turn like to meet her and make Iriends with her, because oI her gentle, reIined,
attractive character and good treatment oI them. These are the best characteristics that a woman may
attain, as they entitle her to mix with other women, earn their trust and have an inIluence on them.
Women will only listen to the one whom they like and trust and Ieel comIortable with, and they will only
be persuaded by a woman who brings with her an attitude oI trust, Iriendship and respect.
Hence there are many adth which commend the type oI person who is Iriendly and liked by others.
Such a person, whether man or woman, is one oI those chosen ones who are beloved by the Prophet (7)
and will be closest to him on the Day oI Judgement:
525 Reported by Ab Yala and A-abarn; the men oI its isnd are thiqt. See Mafmaal-Zawid, 10/125, Bb mafaa fil-mutanaamin
wal-mutanattan.
526 6a Muslim, 16/184, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb idha aabba Allh abdn.
527 6a Muslim, 16/189, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb idha aabb Allh abdn
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
148
Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu whc cmcng ycu i: mc:I Le|cvec Ic me cnc wi|| Le c|c:e:I Ic me cn Ihe Dcy cf
Fe:urrecIicn?" He repecIec iI Ihree cr Iwc Iime:, cnc Ihey :cic, Ye:, C Me::enger cf /|| h." He :cic,
Ihc:e cf ycu whc cre Ihe Le:I in cIIiIuce cnc chcrccIer."528 Scme repcrI: ccc: Ihc:e whc cre ccwn
Ic ecrIh cnc humL|e, whc geI c|cng wiIh cIher: cnc wiIh whcm cIher: fee| ccmfcrIcL|e."
One oI the most important attributes oI the Muslim woman is that she gets along with others and others
Ieel comIortable with her. She likes people and they like her. II she is not like this, then she will not be
able to convey the message or achieve anything oI signiIicance. Whoever is like that has no goodness in
him, as in the adth:
Ihe Le|iever geI: c|cng wiIh pecp|e cnc Ihey fee| ccmfcrIcL|e wiIh him. Ihere i: nc gcccne:: in Ihe cne
whc cce: ncI geI c|cng wiIh pecp|e cnc wiIh whcm Ihey cc ncI fee| ccmfcrIcL|e."529
The Prophet (7) set the highest example oI good behavior towards people. He was skillIul in
soItening their hearts and called them to Iollow him in word and deed. He demonstrated how to reach
people`s hearts and win their love and admiration. He was always cheerIul and easy-going, never harsh.
When he came to any gathering, he would sit wherever there was a Iree space, and he told others to do
likewise. He treated everyone equally, so that no-one who was present in a gathering would Ieel that
anyone else was receiving preIerential treatment. II anyone came to him and asked Ior something, he
would give it to them, or at least respond with kind words. His good attitude extended to everyone and he
was like a Iather to them. The people who gathered around him were truly equal, distinguished only by
their level oI taqw. They were humble, respecting their elders, showing compassion to young ones,
giving priority to those in need, and taking care oI strangers.
The Prophet (7) never disappointed anyone who came to ask Irom him. There are three
characteristics that he did not possess: he was not argumentative, he did not talk too much, and he did not
concern himselI with matters that were not his business. There are three things that he never did to
people: he never criticized anyone, he never said 'Shame on you! to anyone, and he never looked Ior
anyone`s Iaults. He never said anything but that Ior which he hoped to earn reward. When he spoke, the
people around him would listen earnestly, sitting still as iI there were birds on their heads. When he was
silent, then they would speak. They never argued with one another in his presence. They would smile at
whatever he smiled at, and would be impressed by whatever impressed him. He would be patient with a
stranger who might be harsh in his requests or questions, and his Companions would ask the stranger to
speak gently. He said, 'II you see someone in need, then help him. He never accepted praise except Irom
someone who was thanking him Ior a Iavour, and he never cut oII anyone who was speaking; he would
wait until the person indicated that he had Iinished, or stood up.530
'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) Ie||: u: IhcI he u:ec Ic Le ccuIicu: cf Ihe wcr:I Iype cf pecp|e,
cnc he wcu|c :peck genI|y Ic Ihem cnc IrecI Ihem we||. / mcn :cughI permi::icn Ic enIer upcn him cnc
he :cic, LeI him in, whcI c Lcc LrcIher cf hi: IriLe he i:l" When Ihe mcn ccme in, he :pcke genI|y Ic
him. 'bi:hch :cic, C Me::enger cf /||h, ycu :cic whcI ycu :cic, Ihen ycu :pcke genI|y Ic him." He :cic,
C 'bi:hch, Ihe wcr:I cf pecp|e i: Ihe cne whcm pecp|e cvcic {crcre genI|e Icwcrc:) Leccu:e Ihey fecr
hi: :|cncer." 531
No doubt the mature Muslim woman who is receptive to the guidance oI Islm Iollows in the Iootsteps
oI her Prophet (7) in her dealings with all people, whether they are good or bad, so that she will be
liked, well accepted and respected among all the women who know her or hear oI her.
528 Reported with a Javvid isnd by Amad, 2/185.
529 Reported by Amad and Al-Bazzr; the men oI Amad`s isnd are rifl al-a. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/87, Bb al-mmin valaf
wa vlif.
530 See pavt al-6abah, 1/22, 23
531 Fat al-Br, 10/471, Kitb al-adb, bb ma vafu: min ightivab ahl al-fasad wal-ravab, 6a Muslim, 16/144, Kitb al-birr walsillat
wal-adb, bb mudarah man vutqi fuhshihi.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
149
She Keeps Secrets
It is obvious to the mature, wise Muslim woman that keeping secrets is one oI the best characteristics
that a person, man or woman, can have. Keeping secrets is a sign oI a person`s maturity, moral strength,
wisdom and balanced personality. ThereIore the true Muslim woman keeps those secrets that Islm urges
her to keep. This was the attitude oI the best personalities oI Islm, and was one oI their most beautiIul
characteristics.
One oI the best examples oI this virtue and the determination to adhere to tit among the most
prominent 6abah was the attitude oI Ab Bakr (W) and Uthmn (W) towards Umar (W) when he
oIIered them his daughter paIah`s hand in marriage aIter she was widowed, and their concealing the
secret oI the Prophet (7) Irom him.
Imm Bukhr reports Irom Abdullh ibn Umar that Umar said, concerning events aIter his daughter
paIah was widowed:
l meI 'UIhmn iLn '/ffn {W) cnc cfferec him pcfch: hcnc in mcrricge. l :cic, 'lf ycu wi:h, l wi|| mcrry
pcfch Ic ycu. He :cic: 'l wi|| Ihink cLcuI iI. / few ccy: pc::ec, Ihen he meI me cnc :cic, 'l Ihink IhcI l
cc ncI wi:h Ic geI mcrriec ju:I ncw. Ihen l meI /L 8ckr c|-Sicc {W), cnc :cic, 'lf ycu wi:h, l wi|| mcrry
pcfch LinI 'Umcr Ic ycu. /L 8ckr remcinec :i|enI cnc mcce nc rep|y Ic me, cnc l wc: mcre up:eI wiIh
him Ihcn wiIh 'UIhmn. / few ccy: pc::ec, Ihen Ihe FrcpheI {7) c:kec fcr her hcnc, cnc l gcve her Ic
him in mcrricge. /L 8ckr meI me cnc :cic, 'Ferhcp: ycu cre cngry wiIh me when ycu cfferec me
pcfch: hcnc cnc l cic ncI rep|y? l :cic, 'Ye:. He :cic, 'NcIhing kepI me frcm cn:wering ycu excepI
Ihe fccI IhcI l knew Ihe FrcpheI {7) hcc menIicnec her, cnc l ccu|c ncI ci:c|c:eIhe :ecreI cf Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7). lf he hcc cecicec ncI Ic mcrry her, Ihen l wcu|c hcve mcrriec her." 532
The virtue oI keeping secrets was not conIined only to the men oI the salaf, it also included women
and children whose hearts were Iilled with the guidance oI Islm. We see this in the report given by Imm
Muslim Irom Anas (W), who said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccme Ic me whi|e l wc: p|cying wiIh :cme cIher Lcy:. He greeIec me, Ihen
:enI me cn cn errcnc. l wc: |cIe ccming hcme Ic my mcIher , cnc when l ccme, :he c:kec, 'WhcI kepI
ycu :c |cng? l :cic, 'Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :enI me cn cn errcnc. She c:kec me, 'WhcI errcnc? l
:cic, 'lI i: c :ecreI. She :cic, 'Dc ncI Ie|| cnycne Ihe :ecreI cf Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7). /nc: :cic: 8y
/||h {,), if l hcc Ic|c cnycne cLcuI iI, l wcu|c hcve Ic|c ycu, C IhLiI." 533
Umm Anas saw that her son was keen to keep the secret entrusted to him by the Prophet (7), so she
reinIorced this keen attitude by telling him not to disclose this secret to anyone. So Anas did not speak oI
it to anyone, not even the great 6ab Thbit al-Bunn who was the spokesman oI the Prophet (7),
and one oI those who were promised Paradise. She did not allow her curiosity to make her quiz her young
son about the secret he was keeping Irom her. This is true Islmic tarbivah (education, upbringing), and
this is the sublime level to which it raised men, women and children alike.
Telling secrets is one oI the worst habits a person could have, and the worst Iorm oI this habit is
disclosing secrets that relate to the intimacies oI married liIe. A person who is aIIlicted with this
abhorrent habit will be among the worst people on the Day oI Judgement, as the Prophet (7) explained:
Ihe mc:I evi| cf pecp|e in Ihe :ighI cf /|| h {,) cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn wi|| Le c mcn whc wc:
inIimcIe wiIh hi: wife, Ihen wenI cnc Ic|c cIher: cLcuI her :ecreI:."534
Private matters should remain utterly secret, known only to those concerned. No-one broadcasts his
private matters except the person who is somewhat crazy, stupid and unsound, and whose attitude is dirty,
cheap and shameless. Muslim men and women are protected Irom such Iolly by the noble characteristics
that they have learned Irom their religion.
532 Fat al-Br, 9/175, Kitb al-nika and 7/317, Kitb al-bagha:i, bb ard al-insn ibnatahu ala ahl al-khavr
533 6a Muslim, 16/41, Kitb fada il al-6abah,, bb fadail Anas. Thbit is the name oI the Tabii who narrated this adth Irom Anas.
534 6a Muslim, 10/8, Kitb al-nikah, bb tarm ifsha sirr al-marah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
150
She is oI CheerIul Countenunce
It is clear to the Muslim woman that one oI the most important Iactors in her success both in her
private liIe with her husband and in her social liIe in general, is that she should be oI cheerIul
countenance, smiling oIten and overIlowing with warmth. All oI this will endear her to people and open
their hearts to her. It is also a good attitude, positive personality and physical attractiveness encouraged
by Islm.
In 6a Muslim, it is reported that the Prophet (7) said:
Dc ncI Ihink |iII|e cf cny gccc ceec, even if iI i: ju:I meeIing ycur LrcIher wiIh c cheerfu| ccunIencnce."
535
The Prophet (7) taught that the Muslim should smile at his brother, and he never met any oI his
6abah without smiling at them, as is reported in the adeeth oI the great 6ab Jarr ibn Abdullh,
who said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) never refu:ec Ic :ee me, cfIer l emLrccec l:| m, cnc he never :cw me wiIhcuI :mi|ing
cI me." 536
The Muslim woman who is cheerIul and smiles a lot brings joy to her husband`s heart, which increases
his love and respect Ior her. This is also the attitude which she brings to the social circle oI women with
whom she mixes: nothing spreads love and aIIection in a community like a smiling Iace and a happy and
content soul. These are characteristics which are most beIitting to the gentle, polite Muslim woman who
seeks to call others to Islm, because it is through these attitudes that she will be able to reach people`s
hearts.
She is Lightheurted und Hus u Sense oI Humour
The true Muslim woman is lighthearted and has a sense oI humour; she is kind in her treatment oI
others and gentle in her speech. She does not disdain to joke with her sisters and Iriends on appropriate
occasions. But the Muslim woman`s jokes are distinguished by their legitimate Islmic nature, and never
sink to the level oI being cheap, dirty or stupid.
Ihe FrcpheI {7) u:ec Ic jcke wiIh hi: Ccmpcnicn:, LuI hi: jcke: never wenI Leycnc Ihe Lcunc: cf IruIh.
lI wc: ncrrcIec IhcI Ihe 6cccn :cic Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7): Ycu jcke wiIh u:." He :cic, 8uI l never :cy
cnyIhing excepI Ihe IruIh."537
The 6abah took the same approach to humour. There are many delightIul and entertaining reports
about the jokes exchanged between the Prophet (7) and his Companions.
/mcng Ihe repcrI: re|cIec in Ihe Lcck: cf ccIh cnc :cn i: IhcI which Ie||: cf hcw Ihe FrcpheI {7)
u:ec Ic jcke wiIh Ihe :mc|| chi|c cf cne cf hi: 6cLch, c Lcy cc||ec /L 'Umcyr, whc hcc c |iII|e Lirc he
u:ec Ic p|cy wiIh. Cne ccy he :cw Ihe chi|c |ccking :cc, :c he c:kec, Why cc l :ee /L 'Umcyr |ccking
:cc?" Ihe 6cccn Ic|c him, Ihe nugnc 538 which he u:ec Ic p|cy wiIh hc: ciec, C Me::enger cf /|| h."
Ihe FrcpheI {7) Legcn Ic genI|y jcke wiIh Ihe chi|c, :cying, C /L 'Umcyr, whcI hcppenec Ic Ihe
nugncy?" 539
/ mcn ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) Ic c:k him Ic give him c Lec:I Ic rice. Ihe FrcpheI {7) jcking|y Ic|c
him: l wi|| give ycu Ihe cff:pring cf c :he-ccme| Ic rice." He :cic, C Me::enger cf /|| h, whcI :hc|| l cc
535 6a Muslim, 16/177, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb istihbb talqah al-wafh.
536 Fat al-Br, 10/504, Kitb al-adb, bb al-tabassum wal-dahk; 6a Muslim, 16/35, Kitb fadail al-6abah, bb fadail Jarr ibn
Abdullh.
537 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/365, Bb al-ma:h.
538 Nughar: a small bird, like a sparrow. |Author|
539 Nughavr: diminutive oI nughar |Author|. In Arabic, this is play on words because oI the rhyme between the boy`s name and that oI the
bird |Translator|. This story was narrated in pavt al-6abah, 3/149.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
151
wiIh Ihe cff:pring cf c :he-ccme|? Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: /re ricing-ccme|: Lcrn excepI frcm :he-
ccme|:?" 540
lmm /mcc repcrIec frcm /nc: {W) IhcI Ihere wc: c mcn frcm Ihe ce:erI pecp|e whc:e ncme wc: Zchir.
He u:ec Ic Lring gifI: frcm Ihe ce:erI Ic Ihe FrcpheI { 7), cnc in reIurn Ihe FrcpheI {7) wcu|c prcvice him
wiIh whcIever he neecec when he wenI cuI Ic fighI. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: Zchir i: cur mcn cf Ihe ce:erI,
cnc we cre hi: Icwn-cwe||er:." Ihe FrcpheI {7) |cvec him very much, cnc he {Zchir) wc: cn ug|y mcn. Cne
ccy Ihe FrcpheI {7) ccme Ic him whi|:I he wc: :e||ing :cme gccc:. He emLrccec him frcm Lehinc. Ihe
mcn ccu|c ncI :ee him, :c he :cic, LeI me gcl Whc i: Ihi:?" Ihen he Iurnec crcunc cnc reccgni:ec Ihe
FrcpheI {7), :c he Iriec Ic mcve c|c:er Ic him cnce he knew whc iI wc:. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :IcrIec :cying,
Whc wi|| Luy Ihi: :|cve?" Zchir :cic, C Me::enger cf /||h, ycu wi|| finc me un:e||cL|e." Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic,
8uI in Ihe :ighI cf /||h {,) ycu cre ncI un:e||cL|e," cr he :cic, 8uI in Ihe :ighI cf /|| h {,) ycu cre vc|ucL|e."
541
/n c|c wcmcn ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc :cic, C Me::enger cf /||h, prcy Ic /||h {,) IhcI l wi||
enIer Fcrcci:e." He :cic jcking|y, C McIher cf Sc-cnc-:c, nc c|c wcmen wi|| enIer Fcrcci:e." Ihe c|c
wcmcn wenI cwcy crying, :c Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: Ie|| her IhcI :he wi|| ncI enIer Fcrcci:e c: cn c|c
wcmcn, fcr /||h {,) :cy:: >'We hcve crecIec |Iheir Ccmpcnicn:] cf :pecic| crecIicn, cnc mcce
Ihem virgin-pure |cnc uncefi|ec]@ (Qur`n 56: 35-36).542
One oI the adth that reIlect the Prophet`s sense oI humour and enjoyment oI Iun is the report narrated
by Imm Amad Irom bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), who said:
l wenI cuI wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7) cn c jcurney. /I IhcI Iime l wc: :Ii|| ycung cnc wc: uiIe :|encer. Ihe
FrcpheI {7) Ic|c Ihe pecp|e, 'Gc cn checc, cnc Ihey wenI cn checc, Ihen he :cic Ic me, 'Ccme, |eI
u: hcve c rcce. Sc l rccec wiIh him, cnc l wcn. He |eI Ihe mcIIer re:I unIi| l hcc gcinec weighI. LcIer, l
ccccmpcniec him cn cncIher jcurney. He Ic|c Ihe pecp|e, 'Gc cn checc, cnc Ihey wenI cn checc. He
:cic Ic me, 'Ccme, |eI u: hcve c rcce. Sc l rccec wiIh him, cnc he wcn. He Legcn Ic |cugh, cnc :cic,
'Ihi: i: fcr IhcI." 543
The Prophet (7), the Imm, leader and teacher oI the Muslims, liked to joke and have Iun sometimes,
no matter how busy he was with the burdens oI leadership and the eIIort to establish the Islmic state,
direct the Iorces oI fihd, and so on. All oI this did not keep him Irom engaging in entertaining jokes and
lighthearted Iun that would make his Companions - or his wives, on other occasions - Ieel happy.
Another example is the report narrated by bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), who said:
l ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) wiIh :cme c|cn {c ci:h mcce wiIh f|cur cnc mi|k) IhcI l hcc ccckec fcr
him, cnc Ic|c Scwcch {Mcy /|| h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her), c: Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: :iIIing LeIween me cnc
her - 'EcI. She refu:ec, :c l :cic, 'EiIher ycu ecI, cr l wi|| fi|| ycur fccel She :Ii|| refu:ec, :c l puI my hcnc in
Ihe c|cn cnc ccuLec her fcce wiIh iI. Ihe FrcpheI {7) |cughec, puI :cme c|cn in her hcnc, cnc
:cic, 'Dc Ihe :cme Ic herl" /cccrcing Ic cncIher repcrI: He |cwerec hi: knee {mcvec cuI cf Ihe wcy)
:c IhcI :he ccu|c geI her cwn Lcck cn me, Ihen :he Icck :cme frcm Ihe p|cIe cnc wipec my fcce wiIh
iI, cnc Ihe FrcpheI {7) |cughec." 544
These reports are a clear indication oI the tolerance oI Islm and its Iollowers, and oI the kind oI
lightheartedness and humour that it wants to see in the Muslims. It is a quality that is liked in the serious
Muslim woman, Ior it adds beauty, attraction and inIluence to her character.
She Tries to Muke People Huppy
The Muslim woman is keen, in her conversations with other women, to bring happiness to them and
make them Ieel cheerIul and lively by means oI the good news and pleasant jokes that she tells them.
540 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/366, Bb al-ma:ah.
541 Reported by Amad; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a. See Mafma al-Zawid, 9/368, Bb ma faa fi Zahir ibn Hi:m.
542 Reported by Tirmidh in Al-Shamail, 111; it is asan because oI the existence oI corroborating reports.
543 A a adth narrated by Amad, 6/264 and Ab Dwd, 3/41, Kitb al-fihd, bb fi al-sabaq alal-raful.
544 Reported by Ab Yala; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a, except Ior Muhammad ibn Amr ibn Alqamah, whose adth is asan.
See Mafm al-Zawid, 4/316.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
152
Making people happy, within the Iramework oI that which is permitted, is an Islmic duty that is strongly
encouraged, so that the environment oI the believers, men and women, may be Iilled with Iriendliness,
happiness and joy, ready to undertake serious work and the sacriIices and diIIiculties that it entails.
Eor this reason Islm tells us that the reward oI one who makes Muslims happy will be the greater
happiness that Allh (,) will bestow upon him on the Day oI Resurrection:
Whcever meeI: hi: Mu:|im LrcIher cnc mcke: him hcppy wiIh :cmeIhing IhcI /||h {,) |ike:, /||h {,) wi||
mcke him hcppy cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn." 545
The clever Muslim woman will Iind diIIerent ways to make her sisters happy in ways that are
permitted - a warm greeting, a kind word, a clever comment, a pleasant joke, good news, a Iriendly smile,
a sincerely-meant visit, a charming giIt, always keeping in touch, sincere help, comIorting consolation -
which will open their hearts, sow the seeds oI love and strengthen the ties oI Iriendship and sisterhood.
She is Not Over-Strict
Another oI the qualities oI the true Muslim woman is that she is not over-strict, and does not go to
extremes with regard to matters that Islm has permitted on certain occasions, such as the singing that is
permitted on Eid and at weddings, or watching some entertaining games or sports, so long as they are not
accompanied by any Iorm oI corruption that may lead to fitnah.
Although she may accept to watch or join in entertainment on certain occasions, she does not make
this her main concern in liIe. She Iollows the teachings oI Islm which permit Iun and entertainment on
occasion, as is reported in a number oI a adth.
ln 6c 8ukhr, 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) i: repcrIec Ic hcve crrcngec c mcrricge fcr c
wcmcn whc wc: cn crphcn uncer her ccre, Ic c mcn cf Ihe An. Ihe FrcpheI {7) c:kec her: C
'bi:hch, whcI :crI cf fun cnc enIerIcinmenI cc ycu hcve? Fcr Ihe An |cve fun cnc enIerIcinmenI." 546
Imm Bukhr also narrates Irom bishah:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) enIerec upcn me when Ihere were Iwc ycung gir|: :inging Ihe :cng: cf 8u' Ih 547. He
|cy ccwn cn hi: Lec cnc Iurnec hi: fcce cwcy. Ihen /L 8ckr enIerec, cnc Ic|c me cff, :cying: 'Mu:icc|
in:IrumenI: cf Sncytn in Ihe hcu:e cf Ihe FrcpheI {7)l Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) Iurnec Ic him cnc
:cic: 'LeI Ihem Le. When he wc: nc |cnger pcying cIIenIicn, l :ignc||ec Ic Ihem, cnc Ihey |efI." 548
/cccrcing Ic cncIher repcrI, c|:c ncrrcIec Ly 8ukhr, Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: C /L 8ckr, every ncIicn
hc: c ccy cf ce|eLrcIicn, cnc Ihi: i: cur ccy cf ce|eLrcIicn." 549
Another report narrated by Bukhr Irom bishah says:
lI wc: Ihe ccy cf 'Fc, cnc Ihe L|cck pecp|e were p|cying wiIh :hie|c: cnc :pecr:. EiIher l c:kec Ihe
FrcpheI {7), cr he :cic Ic me: 'Wcu|c ycu |ike Ic wcIch? l :cic,'Ye:. Sc he |eI me :Icnc Lehinc him, hi:
cheek cgcin:I my cheek, cnc he wc: :cying, 'Ccrry cn, C 8cn /rficchl 550 When l gcI Iirec, he c:kec
me, 'Hcve ycu hcc encugh? l :cic, 'Ye:. He :cic, 'Ihen gc."551
Ibn Hajar reported a number oI versions oI this adth Irom bishah, such as that recorded by Al-
Zuhr:
.UnIi| l |bi:hch] wc: Ihe cne whc hcc hcc encugh." 552
Muslim also narrates Irom Al-Zuhr:
545 Reported with a asan isnd by A-abarn in Al-6aghr. See Mafma al-Zawid, 8/193, Bb fadl qa al-awif.
546 Fat al-Br, 9/225, Kitb al-nika, bb al-niswah allt vahdina al-marah ila :awfih.
547 Buth: a place in the environs oI Madnah where war took place between the Aws and Khazraj beIore Islm. It was known as the battle
oI Buth, and poets composed many verses about it. |Author|
548 Fat al-Br, 2/440, Kitb al-idavn, bb al-hirab wal-daraq vawm al-eid.
549 Fat al-Br, 2/445, Kitb al-idavn, bb sunnah al-idavn li ahl al-Islm.
550 Ban ArIidah: a nickname given to Abyssinians. |Author|
551 Fat al-Br, 2/440, Kitb al-idavn, bb al-hirab wal-daraq vawm al-eid.
552 Fat al-Br, 2/440, Kitb al-idavn, bb al-hirab wal-daraq vawm al-eid.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
153
Ihen he :Icyec :Icncing Ihere fcr my :cke unIi| l wc: Ihe cne whc cecicec Ic |ecve."553
An-NIs` reporLs Irom Yuzd Ibn Murwn:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'Hcve ycu hcc encugh? Hcve ycu hcc encugh? She :cic, 'l cecicec Ic :cy Nc,
ju:I Ic :ee hcw where l :Iccc wiIh him {i.e. hcw much he |cvec me)."554
An-Nis` reports Irom Ab Salmah Irom bishah:
l :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /||h, cc ncI ru:h. Sc he remcinec :Icncing fcr my :cke, Ihen :cic, 'Hcve ycu
hcc encugh? l :cic, 'Dc ncI ru:h.. lI wc: ncI IhcI l wcnIec Ic wcIch Ihem, LuI l wcnIec c|| Ihe wcmen
Ic kncw hcw l :Iccc wiIh him."
In the chapter on marriage, there is a report narrated by Al-Zuhr which adds:
Ycu :hcu|c uncer:Icnc IhcI ycung gir|: |ike Ic hcve fun."555
In Fat al-Br 556 Al-Sirj reports via Abu`l-Zinad Irom Urwah Irom bishah that the Prophet (7)
said on that day:
LeI Ihe Jew: kncw IhcI in cur re|igicn Ihere i: rccm fcr enIerIcinmenI, cnc l hcve Leen :enI wiIh c Ic|ercnI,
pure re|igicn."
Tirmidh reports in his Sunan that bishah said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: :iIIing, cnc we hecrc :cme nci:e cnc chi|cren: vcice: cuI:ice. Ihe FrcpheI { 7)
:Iccc up, cnc :cw cn /Ly::inicn wcmcn ccncing, wiIh chi|cren crcunc her. He :cic, 'C ' bi:hch, ccme
cnc :eel Sc l ccme, cnc puI my chin cn hi: :hcu|cer, |ccking Ihrcugh Ihe gcp LeIween hi: hecc cnc hi:
:hcu|cer. He c:kec me, 'Hcve ycu hcc encugh? cnc l cecicec Ic:cy Nc, ju:I Ic :ee where l :Iccc wiIh
him. Succen|y 'Umcr {W) cppecrec, cnc Ihe pecp|e :ccIIerec. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic: 'l ccn :ee IhcI Ihe
cevi|: cmcng |nn cnc mcnkinc f|ee frcm 'Umcrl |'bi:hch] :cic: Ihen l wenI Lcck." 557
These and similar texts, as understood in the books oI adth, are clear evidence oI the Prophet`s kind
and gentle treatment oI his wiIe, and his eagerness to make her happy. They are also prooI oI the
tolerance and ease oI Islm, and its concern that women should be allowed to enjoy the kinds oI Iun and
entertainment that it has permitted, unlike some oI those overstrict people nowadays who regard such Iun
as a serious crime Ior which women should be severely punished by being imprisoned (in the home).
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm should be very serious in her attitude,
concentrating on noble aims and shunning Irivolities. But this should not stop her Irom having Iun
occasionally, in ways that are permitted by Islm, which leaves room Ior such entertainment. The wise
Lawgiver understands the nature oI people and their inclination to relax and have Iun Irom time to time,
so that they can then return reIreshed to their serious pursuits, with renewed vigour, stronger
determination, and more prepared to shoulder the burdens oI their responsibilities. This is the balanced,
integrated, wise approach that Islm brings.
She is Not Arrogunt or Proud
The true Muslim woman is not arrogant or proud; she does not look down her nose at other women
who may be inIerior to her in terms oI beauty, wealth, lineage or status, because the Muslim woman who
understands the teachings oI Islm knows that arrogance and pride in this world will deny a woman the
blessings oI the HereaIter, which Allh (,) will deny to men and women who are arrogant. These
blessings are only Ior those who shun arrogance and pride in this world:
553 Fat al-Br, 2/440, Kitb al-idavn, bb al-hirab wal-daraq vawm al-eid.
554 Fat al-Br, 2/440, Kitb al-idavn, bb al-hirab wal-daraq vawm al-eid.
555 See the reports given in Fat al-Br, 2/444.
556 Fat al-Br, 2/440, Kitb al-idavn, bb al-hirab wal-daraq vawm al-eid.
557 Reported by irmidh in Manqib Umar. He said: it is a asan a gharib adth; this version is gharib. See 621, Kitb al-manqib,
18.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
154
IhcI Hcu:e cf Ihe HerecfIer We :hc|| give Ic Ihc:e whc inIenc ncI high-hcncecne:: cr mi:chief cn
ecrIh: cnc Ihe Enc i: |Le:I] fcr Ihe righIecu:. (Qur`n 28: 83)
She also knows that Allh (,) does not love those who arrogantly boast:
/nc :we|| ncI ycur cheek |fcr price] cI men, ncr wc|k in in:c|ence Ihrcugh Ihe ecrIh: fcr /||h |cve:
ncI cny crrcgcnI Lcc:Ier. (Qur`n 31: 18)
Whoever examines the adth texts will be astonished at the attention given by the Prophet (7) to
eradicating arrogance Irom people`s hearts by Iorbidding it, deterring it and warning those men and women
who were aIIlicted with it that they stand to lose everything in the HereaIter Ior the sake oI an atom`s-
weight oI pride that the Shavtn has placed in their hearts. Such people are among the arrogant ones to
whom Allh (,) has denied entry to Paradise, as is stated in the adth narrated by Muslim:
Nc cne wi|| enIer Fcrcci:e whc hc: cn cIcm:-weighI cf price in hi: hecrI." / mcn c:kec, WhcI if c
mcn |ike: hi: c|cIhe: cnc hi: :hce: Ic |cck gccc?" He :cic, /|| h {,) i: 8ecuIifu| cnc |cve: LecuIy {i.e.
wcnIing Ic |cck gccc i: ncI price cr crrcgcnce). Frice i: cenying Ihe IruIh cnc ce:pi:ing pecp|e." 558
prithah ibn Wahb (W) said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu cLcuI Ihe pecp|e cf He||? Everycne whc i:
hcr:h, prcuc, ci:ccinfu| cnc crrcgcnI." 559
It is enough Ior those arrogant, proud women who boast to their Iriends to know oI the moral
humiliation that Allh (,) has prepared Ior them in the HereaIter: Allh (,) will not even look at them or
speak to them or praise them, and this will be the ultimate humiliation. The Prophet (7) said:
Cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn, /|| h {,) wi|| ncI |cck cI Ihc:e whc |eI Iheir gcrmenI: Irci| cn Ihe grcunc cuI
cf crrcgcnce." 560
Ihere cre Ihree whcm /||h {,) wi|| ncI :peck Ic, cr prci:e, cr |cck cI cn Ihe Dcy cf JucgemenI, cnc
Ihey wi|| hcve c :evere puni:hmenI: cn c|c mcn whc ccmmiI: ccu|Iery, c king whc Ie||: |ie:, cnc c pccr
mcn whc i: crrcgcnI." 561
Pride is one oI the divine attributes and weak human creatures have no right to it. Those who are
arrogant and proud transgress into the realm oI the divine, vying with the Almighty Creator Ior one oI His
sublime attributes, so they deserve the severe punishment to which the Prophet (7) reIerred:
/||h {,) :cy:: 'MighI i: My c|cck cnc price i: My gcrmenI. Whcever vie: wiIh Me fcr eiIher cf Ihem, l wi||
puni:h him." 562
Many adth warn the believers against being tempted by pride at moments oI human weakness. The
Prophet (7) used various methods to warn them so that the pious believers would be protected Irom the
awIul disease oI arrogance. Eor example:
Whcever Ihink: high|y cf him:e|f, cr wc|k: wiIh cn crrcgcnI cIIiIuce, wi|| meeI /|| h {,) when He i: cngry
wiIh him." 563
She is Humble und Modest
It comes as no surprise that the Muslim woman who understands anything oI the teachings oI Islm
should be humble and modest, gentle, tolerant and kind in her dealings with others. She Iinds adth which
complement those that warn men and women against arrogance, texts that encourage modesty and humility,
promising everyone who humbles himselI Ior the sake oI Allh (,) that he or she will be raised in status, as
558 6a Muslim, 2/89, Kitb al-imn, bb tarm al-kibr.
559 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 334, Bb tarm al-kibr wal-ifab.
560 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 12/9, Kitb al-libs, bb taqsr al-thivb.
561 6a Muslim, 2/115, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn al-thalatha alladhina la vukallimuhum Allh vawm al-qivamah.
562 6a Muslim, 16/173, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarm al-kibr; also narrated by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/9, Bb
al-kibr.
563 Narrated by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/7, Bb al-kibr.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
155
the Prophet (7) said in the adth narrated by Muslim:
Nc cne i: humL|e fcr Ihe :cke cf /|| h {,), LuI /||h {,) wi|| rci:e him in :IcIu:." 564
/||h {,) Ic|c me IhcI ycu :hcu|c Le :c humL|e Icwcrc: cne cncIher IhcI nc cne :hcu|c Lcc:I Ic
cnycne e|:e cnc nc cne :hcu|c cppre:: cnycne." 565
The Muslim woman who studies the liIe oI the Prophet (7) will Iind in his sublime character a
unique, living example oI modesty, humility, gentleness, genuineness, noble attitudes and tolerance.
Whenever he passed a group oI boys playing, he would stop and greet them, joking naturally with them.
His high status as Prophet and leader oI the ummah did not prevent him Irom being spontaneous and
natural with others.
/nc: {W) :cic IhcI he pc::ec Ly c grcup cf chi|cren cnc greeIec Ihem. He cccec, Ihe FrcpheI { 7) u:ec
Ic cc IhcI." 566
/nc: {W) gcve cncIher ccccunI cf Ihe FrcpheI: humi|iIy: he repcrIec IhcI cne cf Ihe :|cve-wcmen cf
Mccnch u:ec Ic Icke Ihe FrcpheI: hcnc cnc |ecc him cLcuI wherever :he wcnIec, unIi| he hcc :crIec
cuI her neec:. 567
Tamm ibn Usayd came to Madnah to ask about the rules oI Islm. He was a stranger, but he did not
Iind any barrier or guard between him and the Prophet (7), the Iirst man in the Islmic state, who was
on the minbar addressing the people. Tamm came Iorward to ask some questions, and the Prophet (7)
welcomed him with all warmth, humility and compassion. Tamm tells the story, as was related by Imm
Muslim:
l ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) whi|:I he wc: giving c :peech. l :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /||h, c :Ircnger hc:
ccme Ic c:k cLcuI hi: re|igicn: he cce: ncI kncw whcI hi: re|igicn i:. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) we|ccmec me,
inIerrupIec hi: :peech, cnc ccme Ic me. / chcir wc: LrcughI fcr him, :c he :cI ccwn cnc Legcn Ic
Iecch me frcm whcI /||h {,) hcc IcughI him. Ihen he re:umec hi: :peech cnc fini:hec whcI he hcc
Leen :cying." 568
The Prophet (7) used to instil the attitude oI humility, based on tolerance, gentleness and a good
nature, in the hearts oI his Companions. He (7) said:
lf l were Ic Le inviIec Ic c :imp|e mec| cf c :heep: fccI cr |eg, cr if l were Ic Le cfferec Ihi: fccc c: c
gifI, l wcu|c cccepI."569
This is modesty in its purest Iorm and human greatness oI the highest degree.
She is Moderute With Regurd to Her Clothing und Appeurunce
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm adheres to the principle oI modesty in all
things, and especially in the way she dresses and looks. She is keen to look good, but without any
extravagance, excess or conceit. She does not blindly Iollow those who throw aside new clothes aIter
wearing them only once and exhaust themselves trying to keep up with the latest Iashion, which is Iorever
changing, as is the habit oI some Ioolish, ignorant women who have nothing better to do. On the other
hand, she does not neglect her clothes or appearance, and she tries to look good in moderation.
She abides by the limits oI moderation set out in the Qur`n, which describes moderation as one oI the
qualities oI the believing slaves oI Allh (,), men and women alike:
Ihc:e whc, when Ihey :penc, cre ncI exIrcvcgcnI cnc ncI niggcrc|y, LuI hc|c c ju:I |Lc|cnce]
LeIween Ihc:e |exIreme:]. (Qur`n 25: 67)
564 6a Muslim, 16/141, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wa-adb, bb istihbb al-afu wal-tawadu.
565 6a Muslim, 18/200, Kitb al-fannah wa iffat naimiha wa ahliha, bb al-iffat allati vuraf biha fil-dunva ahl al-fannah.
566 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 331, Bb al-tawadu.
567 Fat al-Br, 10/489, Kitb al-adb, bb al-kibr.
568 6a Muslim, 6/165, Kitb al-fumuah, bb al-talim fil-khutbah.
569 Fat al-Br, 5/199, Kitb al-ibbah, bb al-qall min al-hibbah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
156
The Muslim woman is careIul not to Iall victim to the enslavement oI Iashion and those behind it, who
are people who have no Iear oI Allh (,) and do not have the best interests oI women - especially
Muslim women - at heart. She is careIul to avoid this enslavement which the Prophet (7) warned
against and told us that it is a source oI great misery:
WreIchec i: Ihe :|cve cf Ihe c|n, c|ncn cnc fcncy c|cIhe: cf ve|veI cnc :i|kl lf he i: given, he i:
p|ec:ec, cnc if he i: ncI given, he i: ci:p|ec:ec."570
The Muslim woman is protected by the teachings oI Islm Irom Ialling into the error oI arrogance or
conceit regarding her appearance, and other deeds which may lead to a person`s downIall, as the Prophet
(7) said:
Ihere wc: c mcn whc wc|kec wiIh price Leccu:e cf hi: fine c|cck cnc Leccu:e he wc: p|ec:ec wiIh
him:e|f. /||h {,) ccu:ec him Ic :ink in Ihe ecrIh, cnc he wi|| gc cn :inking inIc iI unIi| Ihe Dcy cf
Fe:urrecIicn." 571
The Muslim woman uses means oI adornment that are within the limits oI what is permitted by Islm.
She wears elegant, expensive clothes, which are among the good things permitted by Allh (,), without
going to extremes oI excess. This is the moderation advocated and encouraged by Islm, and there is a
huge diIIerence between the wise, moderate woman, and the Ioolish, empty-headed woman who goes to
extremes.
The Muslim woman avoids both extremes with regard to her dress and appearance. She does not
exaggerate or go to extreme limits oI excess, neither does she neglect her clothes and appearance to the
point oI appearing to be miserly or ascetic, thinking that this asceticism is a Iorm oI worship that will earn
her the pleasure oI Allh (,).
The woman who wears beautiIul clothes to show oII in Iront oI her Iriends is a sinner, because Allh
(,) does not love every arrogant boaster. But the one who wears beautiIul clothes to display the bounty
oI Allh (,) and seeking His help, is an obedient servant who will be rewarded.
The one who neglects her appearance out oI stinginess enjoys no position oI respect among people, and
will have no reward Irom Allh (,). The one who neglects her appearance out oI an attitude oI other-
worldliness, thinking that she is worshipping Allh (,) by denying herselI what is permitted, is also a
sinner, as Sheikh al-Islm Ibn Taymiyah, may Allh (,) have mercy on him, said:572 'The essence oI a
woman`s happiness in this world and the next is purposeIulness, moderation and balance. This is the
attitude oI the Muslim woman who understands and adheres to the teachings oI Islm. So her clothes are
clean, beautiIul, neat and suited to the Muslim woman, demonstrating Allh`s blessings to her without
going to the extreme oI showing oII.
She Loves Noble Things und Alwuys Aims High
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm is concerned only with noble matters, and
shuns those trivial, cheap matters that do not deserve the attention oI the serious, reIined person. She
builds her relationships with other women on this basis oI high concerns and noble aims. She has no room
in her liIe Ior making Iriends with Ioolish, empty-headed prattlers or Ior keeping busy with trivial matters.
She has no time to spend on idle talk and Ioolish issues. This is what Allh (,) loves to see in His
believing slaves, men and women, as the Prophet (7) said:
/||h i: ncL|e {kcn) cnc |cve: ncL|e pecp|e. He |cve: ncL|e Ihing: cnc hcIe: fcc|i:hne: :." 573
She is Concerned About the AIIuirs oI the Muslims
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI Islm is not concerned only with her own
household, husband and children; she takes an interest in the aIIairs oI the Muslims in general. By doing
570 Fat al-Br, 6/81, Kitb al-fihd, bb al-hirasah fil-gha:u fi sabil-Allh.
571 6a Muslim, 14/64, Kitb al-libs wal-:inah, bb tarm al-tabakhtur fil-mashi.
572 Fatw Ibn Tavmivah, 22/138, 139.
573 Reported by A-abarn in Al-Kabr; the men oI its isnd are thiqt. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/188, Bb makrim al-akhlq.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
157
so she is Iollowing the guidance oI Islm which counts all Muslims as a single brotherhood, and
compares them, because oI their mutual love, aIIection and compassion, to a single body: iI one part oI it
suIIers, the rest oI the body will stay awake in pain.574 Islm also likens the believers to a solid structure,
in which some bricks support others.575
The modern Muslim woman`s concern Ior Muslim individuals, Iamilies, societies and the ummah as
a whole, stems Irom her Islmic character, her adherence to the teachings oI Islm, her Islmic world-
view, and her sense oI the responsibilities that Islm has given to every Muslim man and woman to
convey and expound its teachings.
Islmic history is Iilled with many examples oI virtuous women who were renowned Ior their concern
about the Muslims, men and women. One example is the report given by Imm Muslim Irom Salm, the
Ireed slave oI Shaddd, who said:
l wenI Ic Ihe hcu:e cf 'bi:hch, Ihe wife cf Ihe FrcpheI {7) cn Ihe ccy IhcI 6c'c iLn /L Wc: ciec.
'/Lcu|-Fcmn iLn /L 8ckr c|:c ccme in, cnc perfcrmec wuc' in 'bi:hch: pre:ence. She :cic, 'C
'/Lcu|-Fcmnl Ferfcrm ycur wuc' prcper|y, c: l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :cy: Wce Ic Ihe
hee|: Leccu:e cf He||-fire."" 576
bishah noticed that her brother Abdul-Ramn had not washed his heels properly in wud, and she
did not keep silent about what she had seen. She reminded him that it was essential to perIorm wud
properly, as she had heard Irom the Prophet (7). This is an example oI the kind oI commendable
concern that is the duty oI every Muslim man and woman whenever there is a need to enjoin what is good
or Iorbid what is evil.
When 'Umcr iLn c|-KhcL {W) wc: :IcLLec, cnc he fe|I IhcI cecIh wc: necr, he Ic|c hi: :cn '/Lcu|| h:
Gc Ic 'bi:hch, :cy :c'n Ic her, cnc c:k her permi::icn fcr me Ic Le Luriec in her hcu:e c|cng:ice Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) cnc /L 8ckr. Sc '/Lcu||h ccme Ic her cnc ccnveyec Ihi: me::cge. She :cic,
CerIcin|y, he i: mc:I we|ccme." Ihen :he :cic: C my :cn, ccnvey my :c'n Ic 'Umcr, cnc Ie|| him: Dc
ncI |ecve Ihe ummch cf Muhcmmcc wiIhcuI c prcIecIcr. /ppcinI c :ucce::cr Ic Icke ccre cf Ihem. Dc
ncI |ecve Ihem unIencec cfIer ycur cecIh, fcr l fecr ||tncn fcr Ihem." 577
This was a Iar-sighted, common-sense attitude oI concern Ior the ummah, that they should not be leIt
without a leader to govern their aIIairs and maintain their unity and security.
In these words oI bishah (May Allh be pleased with her), the modern Muslim woman has a prime
example which will help her to understand the essence oI Islm, her responsibilities towards her religion
and her ummah, and the importance oI being concerned about the aIIairs oI the Muslims. This will give her
insight and understanding that will enable her to undertake her duties oI contributing to the revival oI Islm
and calling Muslim men and women to return to the position oI being the Best oI Peoples evolved Ior
mankind, as Allh (,) wants them to be.
She Honours Her Guest
The true Muslim woman is happy to welcome guests, and hastens to honour them, in response to the
call oI Iaith in Allh (,) and the Last Day, as the Prophet (7) said:
Whcever Le|ieve: in /||h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy, |eI him hcncur hi: gue:I." 578
The Muslim woman who honours her guest thus conIirms that she is a believer in Allh (,) and the
Last Day. ThereIore this honouring oI the guest is called a reward that is given to the guest as iI thanking
him Ior the opportunity he has given to his host to do a good deed, put his Iaith into practice, and please
Allh (,):
574 6a Muslim, 16/140, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarahum al-muminn wa taatufihim.
575 6a Muslim, 16/139, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarahum al-muminn wa taatufihim.
576 6a Muslim, 3/128, Kitb al-tahrah, bb wufb ghusl al-riflavn.
577 Tabaqt ibn 6ad, 3/363.
578 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 14/312, Kitb al-riqq, bb if: al-lisn.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
158
'Whcever Le|ieve: in /||h {,) cnc Ihe Lc:I Dcy, |eI him hcncur hi: gue:I Ly giving him hi: rewcrc. Ihey
c:kec, 'WhcI i: hi: rewcrc, C Me::enger cf /|| h? He :cic: 'Cne ccy cnc cne nighI. Ihe righI cf
hc:piIc|iIy i: Ihree ccy:, cnc cnyIhing Leycnc IhcI i:cn ccI cf chcriIy." 579
Honouring guests is regarded in Islm as a great deed which is encouraged, and Ior which the sincere
Muslim woman will be rewarded. But Islm regulated it and set limits Ior it. The 'reward oI the guest is
one day and one night, then comes the duty oI hospitality, which is three days. Anything beyond that is an
act oI charity, which will be recorded among the good deeds oI the hospitable, generous woman.
In Islm, honouring the guest is not a matter oI choice to be Iollowed or not according to one`s mood
or personal Ieelings. It is a duty on the Muslim, man or woman, who must hasten to IulIil this duty as
soon as a guest knocks on the door or enters one`s yard:
/cccmmcccIing c gue:I fcr cne nighI i: cn cL:c|uIe cuIy cn every Mu:|im. Whcever geI: up in Ihe
mcrning cnc finc: c gue:I wciIing in hi: ycrc hc: c cuIy Ic fu|fi|, cnc iI i: up Ic him whcI he wi|| cc cLcuI
iI." 580
Those who do not like to receive a guest and close their doors to him are not good people, as is stated
in the adth reported by Imm Amad, in which the Prophet (7) said: Ihere i: nc gcccne:: in Ihe cne
whc i: ncI hc:piIcL|e." 581
Islm has made hospitality the duty oI every Muslim man and woman, and considers it to be the
guest`s right. No Muslim should Iall short in carrying out this duty. II a spirit oI miserliness has overtaken
a people to the extent that they deny their guest his right, then Islm permits the guest to take his right
Irom them. This is seen in the adth narrated by Bukar, Muslim and others Irom Uqbah ibn bmir,
who said:
l :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /||h, ycu cre :encing u: Ic pecp|e whc cc ncI feec u:. WhcI cc ycu Ihink cLcuI
Ihi:? He :cic, 'lf ycu gc Ic c pecp|e cnc Ihey crcer IhcI :cmeIhing cpprcpricIe Le LrcughI {i.e., fccc
cnc crink), Ihen cccepI iI, cnc if Ihey cc ncI cc IhcI, Ihen Icke Ihe Ihing: ycu c: c gue:I cre enIiI|ec Ic,
IhcI Ihey :hcu|c hcve prcvicec." 582
Hospitality is a basic Islmic attitude, so you will never Iind a Muslim woman whose Islm is genuine
being stingy to her guest, no matter what her or her husband`s circumstances. Islm has taught her that the
Iood oI two people will Ieed three, and that the Iood oI three will Ieed Iour. So she need never worry
about an unexpected guest knocking suddenly at her door. Ab Hurayrah (W) said: Ihe Me::enger cf
/||h {7) :cic: 'Ihe fccc cf Iwc pecp|e i: encugh fcr Ihree, cnc Ihe fccc cf Ihree i: encugh fcr fcur."
583
JbIr (W) suId:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'Ihe fccc cf cne i: encugh fcr Iwc, Ihe fccc cf Iwc i: encugh
fcr fcur, cnc Ihe fccc cf fcur i: encugh fcr eighI." 584
The Muslim woman whose personality has been cleansed and moulded by Islm does not worry about
there being too many people at the table, unlike the Western woman who does not receive a guest Ior
whom she has not prepared Iood in advance. The Muslim woman welcomes her guests even iI the visit is
unannounced, and invites them to share her Iamily`s Iood, no matter that her own share may be reduced
by a Iew mouthIuls. The true Muslim woman preIers hunger to ignoring the rights oI this guest, whom
Allh (,) and His Messenger have commanded her to honour. Indeed, Allh (,) will bless the Iood oI
one so that it will become enough Ior two, and He will bless the Iood oI two so that it will become
enough Ior Iour, and so on. There is no need Ior that dryness and inhospitability Irom which Western-
inIluenced materialistic people are suIIering in both East and West.
579 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 379, Kitb al-adb, bb ikrm al-avf.
580 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/207, Bb fai:ah al-avf.
581 Reported by Imm Amad, 4/155; its men are Rifl al-a.
582 Narrated by Bukhr, Muslim and others. See Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/210, Bb idha abaha al-avf maruman.
583 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 11/320, Kitb al-atimah, bb taam al-ithnavn vakfi al-thalathah.
584 6a Muslim, 14/22, Kitb al-ashribah, bb fdilah al-mawasah fil-taam al-qall.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
159
Ihe righIecu: :c'c| :eI Ihe highe:I excmp|e cf hcncuring cne: gue:I, :c much :c IhcI /|| h {,) Him:e|f
ccmmencec Ihe wcy in which :cme cf Ihem hcncurec Iheir gue:I:. /n excmp|e cf Ihi: i: Ihe ccIh
ncrrcIec Ly 8ukhr cnc Mu:|im frcm /L Hurcyrch {W). / mcn ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc he :enI wcrc
Ic hi: wive: {Ic prepcre fccc). Ihey :cic, We hcve ncIhing LuI wcIer." Sc Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, Whc wi||
p|cy hc:I Ic Ihi: mcn?" Cne cf Ihe An :cic: l wi||." Sc he Icck Ihe mcn Ic hi: wife cnc Ic|c her: Hcncur
Ihe gue:I cf Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h." She :cic, We cc ncI hcve cnyIhing LuI Ihe Lcy: fccc."He :cic,
Frepcre Ihe fccc, |ighI Ihe |cmp, cnc puI Ihe Lcy: Ic :|eep if Ihey wcnI :cme :upper." Sc :he prepcrec
Ihe fccc, |iI Ihe |cmp, cnc puI Ihe Lcy: Ic :|eep. Ihen :he gcI up c: if Ic ccju:I Ihe |cmp, LuI :he
exIingui:hec iI. Ihe ccup|e preIencec Ic ecI {wiIh Iheir gue:I), LuI in fccI Ihey wenI Ic Lec hungry. Ihe
nexI mcrning, Ihe An wenI Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7), whc Ic|c him: /||h {,) hc: ccmmencec whcI ycu Iwc
cic |c:I nighI." /||h {,) revec|ec:
8uI |Ihey] give Ihem preference cver Ihem:e|ve:, even Ihcugh pcverIy wc: Iheir |cwn |cI]. /nc
Ihc:e :cvec frcm Ihe ccveIcu:ne:: cf Iheir cwn :cu|: - Ihey cre Ihe cne: IhcI cchieve prc:periIy.
(Qur`n 59: 9)585
The Muslim woman is generous and hospitable, she welcomes guests no matter when they arrive, and
never worries about the sudden arrival oI guests. In this way she provides the best help to enable her
husband to be generous and hospitable like her, welcoming guests and hastening to honour them with a
cheerIul, smiling Iace, as the poet 586 said:
'I smile at my guest and make him smile beIore he brings in his luggage, as iI I had plenty to oIIer him
at the time when I am suIIering hardship. Hospitality does not consist oI piling up Iood in Iront oI him;
the Iace oI the generous man is the essence oI hospitality.
She PreIers Others over HerselI
The true Muslim woman preIers others over herselI, even iI she is poor and does not have much, because
Islm teaches its Iollowers to do so. This selIlessness is a basic characteristic oI the true Muslim, which
distinguishes him or her Irom other people.
The Anr, (May Allh be pleased with them), were the Iirst pioneers in selIlessness aIter the Prophet
(7) himselI. A verse oI the Qur`n was revealed commending their unique selIlessness, which would
remain Ior all time a shining example to humanity oI how generosity and selIlessness should be. They
welcomed their Muhfirn brothers, who had nothing, and gave them everything:
8uI Ihc:e whc Lefcre Ihem, hcc hcme: |in Mccnch] cnc hcc cccpIec Ihe FciIh - :hcw Iheir
cffecIicn Ic :uch c: ccme Ic Ihem fcr refuge, cnc enIerIcin nc ce:ire in Iheir hecrI: fcr Ihing: given
Ic Ihe ||cIIer], LuI give Ihem preference cver Ihem:e|ve:, even Ihcugh pcverIy wc: Iheir |cwn |cI].
/nc Ihc:e :cvec frcm Ihe ccveIcu:ne:: cf Iheir cwn :cu|: - Ihey cre Ihe cne: IhcI cchieve
prc:periIy. (Qur`n 59: 9)
The liIe oI the Prophet (7) abounded with selIlessness, and he also instilled this attitude in the hearts
oI the Iirst Muslims. Sahl ibn 6ad (W) reported:
/ wcmcn LrcughI c wcven gcrmenI {cuccn) cnc :cic, 'l wcve iI wiIh my cwn hcnc: fcr ycu Ic wecr.
Ihe FrcpheI {7) Icck iI, c: he neecec iI. He ccme cuI Ic u:, wecring iI wrcppec crcunc hi: wci:I. Sc-
cnc-:c :cic, 'Give iI Ic me, hcw nice iI i:l Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic, 'Cf ccur:e. Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: :iIIing
in c gcIhering, cnc when he ccme Lcck, he fc|cec up Ihe cuccn cnc :enI iI Ic IhcI mcn. Ihe pecp|e
Ic|c Ihe mcn: 'Ycu :hcu|c ncI hcve ccne IhcI. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) wcre iI Leccu:e he neecec iI, Ihen ycu
c:kec fcr iI cnc ycu knew IhcI he cce: ncI refu:e reue:I:. He :cic, 'l cic ncI c:k fcr iI :c IhcI l ccu|c
wecr iI. l c:kec fcr iI :c IhcI iI ccu|c Le my :hrcuc." Sch| :cic: /nc {|cIer cn) iI wc: hi: :hrcuc."587
The Prophet (7) used to Ieel happy whenever he saw his teaching oI selIlessness bearing Iruits in the
Muslims` lives when there was some crisis such as drought or Iamine. This is seen in his words:
585 Fat al-Br, 8/631, Kitb al-tafsr, bb wa vuthirun ala anfusihim; 6a Muslim, 4/12, Kitb al-ashribah, bb ikrm al-davf.
586 i.e., ptim al-Ta`iyy, as in al-Aqd al-Fard, 1/236.
587 Fat al-Br, 3/143, Kitb al-fi:ah, bb man istaadda al-kfn and 4/318, Kitb al-buvu, bb al-nissaf.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
160
When c numLer cf Iheir men cre ki||ec in LcII|e, cr Ihey cc ncI hcve encugh fccc fcr Iheir chi|cren, Ihe
/:h'cri: |c IriLe] gcIher whcIever Ihey hcve in cne c|cIh cnc :hcre iI cuI euc||y. Ihey Le|cng Ic me cnc
l Le|cng Ic Ihem." 588
How beautiIul is the attitude oI selIlessness that we learn about Irom the Anr, the Asharis and others
like them! How great is the virtue oI the Prophet (7) who implanted this attitude in the hearts oI the Iirst
generation oI Muslim men and women, Irom whom successive generations oI Muslims inherited it until it
became a basic characteristic oI the Islmic society.
She Checks Her Customs und Hubits Aguinst Islmic Stundurds
The Muslim woman who has insight into the rulings oI Islm does not accept every tradition and
custom that is widely accepted by others, Ior there may be customs that are derived Irom ancient or
modern fahilvvah traditions which go against Islm. These are unacceptable to the Muslim woman, even
iI everybody else accepts them unanimously.
The Muslim woman does not decorate her house with statues or pictures (oI animate objects), neither
does she keep a dog at home, unless it is a guard dog, because the Prophet (7) has Iorbidden all oI that.
The a adth on this matter are very emphatic in their prohibition, and there is no room Ior
prevarication or excuses:
Ibn Umar (W) reported that the Prophet (7) said:
Ihc:e whc mcke Ihe:e imcge: wi|| Le puni:hec cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn cnc wi|| Le Ic|c: 'Give |ife Ic
IhcI which ycu hcve crecIec." 589
'bIsIuI (Muy AIII be pIeused wILI Ier) suId:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) reIurnec frcm c jcurney, cnc l hcc ccverec c :mc|| winccw wiIh c curIcin
IhcI hcc imcge: cn iI. When Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :cw iI, hi: fcce chcngec cc|cur {wiIh cnger) cnc
he :cic, 'C 'bi:hchl Ihc:e whc wi|| Le Ihe mc:I :evere|y puni:hec Ly /|| h {,) cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn
wi|| Le Ihc:e whc imiIcIec Ihe crecIicn cf /|| h {,). She :cic: 'Sc we cuI iI up cnc mcce cne cr Iwc pi||cw:
frcm iI." 590
bn 'Abbs (W) suId:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'Every mcker cf imcge: wi|| Le in Ihe Fire: every imcge IhcI he
mcce wi|| Le LrcughI Ic |ife cnc wi|| puni:h him inHe||." lLn '/LL: :cic: Sc if ycu mu:I cc IhcI, mcke
picIure: cf Iree: cnc incnimcIe cLjecI:." 591
Ab alah (W) said that the Messenger oI Allh (7) said: Ihe cnge|: cc ncI enIer c hcu:e in
which Ihere i: c ccg cr cn imcge." 592 bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
JiLr| {X) prcmi:ec Ic ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cI c cerIcin Iime. IhcI Iime ccme cnc wenI, cnc he
cic ncI ccme. Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: hc|cing c :Iick in hi: hcnc, which he Ihrew c:ice, :cying, '/|| h {,)
cce: ncI Lreck Hi: prcmi:e cncneiIher cc Hi: Me::enger:. Ihen he Iurnec crcunc cnc :cw c puppy
uncernecIh hi: Lec. He :cic, 'When cic Ihi: ccg geI in? l :cic, '8y /|| h, l cic ncI even ncIice iI. He
gcve crcer: IhcI iI :hcu|c Le Icken cuI, cnc iI wc: remcvec. Ihen JiLr | {X) ccme Ic him, cnc Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic, 'Ycu prcmi:ec Ic ccme cnc l wc: wciIing fcr ycu, LuI ycu cic ncI ccme.
He :cic, 'Ihe ccg IhcI wc: in ycur hcu:e prevenIec me. We cc ncI enIer c hcu:e where Ihere i: c ccg cr
cn imcge." 593
588 (Bukhri and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 310, Bb al-itr wal-masawh.
589 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 741, Kitb al-umur al-munhi anha, bb tarm al-suwr.
590 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 742, Kitb al-umur al-munhi anha, bb tarm al-suwr.
591 Ibid.
592 Ibid.
593 6a Muslim, 14/81, Kitb al-libs wal-:inah, bb tarm aswr al-avawn.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
161
There are many adth which prohibit pictures and statues, and the wisdom behind this prohibition is
apparent especially nowadays when hypocrites, sycophants and those possessed by greed and ambition
encourage tyrants in their oppression. One oI their Iavoured methods is to erect statues to them, both
during their liIetime and aIter their deaths, thus turning them into gods and demigods seated on thrones oI
glory, whipping the backs oI the oppressed.
Islm brought the doctrine oI Tawd, and destroyed the statues oI shirk and fahilvvah IiIteen hundred
years ago. It will not permit these graven images to come back into the lives oI Muslim men and women,
whether it be in the name oI commemorating a leader, honouring an artist or gloriIying a scientist, poet or
writer. The Islmic society is a monotheistic society where gloriIication, sanctiIication and veneration are
only Ior Allh (,). So there is no room in the Islmic society Ior these statues and images.
As Iar as keeping a dog is concerned, there is nothing wrong with that iI the dog is kept Ior hunting or
Iarming purposes, as in the adth oI Ibn Umar (W), who said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'Whcever keep: c ccg, un|e:: iI i: c ccg fcr hunIing cr hercing
|ive:Icck, hi: rewcrc wi|| cecrec:e Ly Iwc q|t: every ccy." 594
Keeping dogs in the house aIter the Western Iashion, spoiling them, manuIacturing special Iood and
shampoo Ior them, setting up 'beauty parlours Ior them and all the other things on which people in the
West and the U.S. spend millions upon millions oI dollars annually.. All oI this has nothing whatsoever
to do with Islm and its tolerant customs. The psychological state oI Westerners, and the dry, materialistic
liIe they lead, have driven them to these extremes in caring Ior their dogs, to compensate Ior the lack oI
human love in their social lives. But the social liIe oI Islm is Iilled with human emotion, so Muslims
have no need to go to such absurd extremes.595
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm does not eat or drink Irom vessels oI gold
or silver, no matter how rich she may be or how luxurious a liIe she may enjoy, because to do so is harm
according to Islm. We Iind this prohibition in a number oI deIinitive, a adth.
Umm Salmah (May Allh be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (7) said:
Whcever crink: frcm c ve::e| cf :i|ver, iI i: c: if he i: Ihrcwing He|| -fire inIc hi: :Icmcch." 596
According to a report given by Muslim, the Prophet (7) said:
Whcever ecI: cr crink: frcm ve::e|: cf gc|c cr :i|ver" - {in cncIher repcrI: whcever crink: frcm c ve::e| cf
gc|c cr :i|ver) -iI i: c: if he i: Ihrcwing fire frcm He|| inIc hi: :Icmcch."597
The alert Muslim woman, no matter where she lives, examines every custom that is Iollowed in her
society and measures it against the rulings, values and principles oI Islm. Whatever is compatible with
Islm, she accepts, but whatever contradicts Islm, she rejects outright, whether it is a custom relating to
betrothal and marriage, or in Iamily or social liIe. What matters is whether the custom is compatible with
Islm, not how widely it is spread among people.
She Iollows Islmic Munners in the Wuy She Luts und rinks
The alert Muslim woman is distinguished by her keenness to Iollow Islmic etiquette in the way she
eats and drinks. II you were to see her at the table eating Iood, or iI you saw the way she sets the table, you
would know her by the Islmic manners that she has adopted in the way she eats, drinks and sets the table.
She does not begin to eat until she has mentioned the name oI Allh (,), and she eats with her right
hand Irom the Iood directly in Iront oI her 598, according to the teaching oI the Prophet (7):
MenIicn Ihe ncme cf /||h {,), ecI wiIh ycur righI hcnc, cnc ecI frcm whcI i: cirecI|y in frcnI cf ycu."
599
594 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 744, Kitb al-umr al-munh anh, bb tarm ittikhdh al-kalb illa li savd aw mashivah.
595 See discussion oI this deviation on pp. |ch9, love Ior the sake oI Allh|
596 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 788, Kitb al-umur al-munh anha, bb tarm istiml in al-dhahab wal-fuddah.
597 6a Muslim, 14/29-30, Kitb al-libs wal-:inah, bb tarm istiml awn al-dhahab wal-fuddah.
598 The custom at the time oI the Prophet (7) was Ior all present to eat Irom one dish or platter; this is still the custom in some Muslim
countries |Translator|.
599 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 394, Kitb adb al-tam, bb al-tasmivah fi awwalih al-amd fi akhirih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
162
II she Iorgets to mention the name oI Allh (,) at the beginning oI her meal, she will rectiIy that by
saying: 'Bismillhi awwalahu wa akhirahu |in the name oI Allh (,) at its beginning and at its end|, as
is taught in the adth narrated by bishah (May Allh be pleased with her):
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Whenever cny cf ycu ecI:, |eI him menIicn Ihe ncme cf /|| h {,),
mcy He Le g|crifiec. lf he fcrgeI: Ic menIicn Ihe ncme cf /|| h {,) cI Ihe Leginning, |eI him :cy 8|:n|''n|
cwwc'cnu wc ckncnu."" 600
The second issue is eating with the right hand. The Muslim woman who is acting according to Islmic
manners eats and drinks with her right hand. The commandment to eat with the right hand, and the
prohibition oI eating with the leIt hand, are clearly reported in numerous adths, Ior example:
When cny cne cf ycu ecI:, |eI him ecI wiIh hi: righI hcnc, cnc if he crink:, |eI him crink wiIh hi: righI
hcnc, fcr Ihe Sncytn ecI: wiIh hi: |efI hcnc cnc crink: wiIh hi: |efI hcnc."601
Ncne cf ycu :hcu|c ecI wiIh hi: |efI hcnc cr crink wiIh hi: |efI hcnc, fcr Ihe Sncytn ecI: wiIh hi: |efI hcnc
cnc crink: wiIh hi: |efI hcnc." Ncf' cccec IhcI Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: Dc ncI give cr Icke wiIh iI {Ihe |efI
hcnc)." 602
lf Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cw cnycne ecIing wiIh hi: | efI hcnc, he wcu|c Ie|| him Ic :Icp, cnc wcu|c Iecch him
Ihe prcper mcnner:. lf Ihe per:cn crrcgcnI|y per:i:Iec, he wcu|c reLuke him mcre :Iern|y cnc prcy
cgcin:I him. Sc|mch iLn c|-/kwc' {W) :cic IhcI c mcn cIe wiIh hi: |efI hcnc in Ihe pre:ence cf Ihe
FrcpheI {7). He :cic, EcI wiIh ycur righI hcnc." Ihe mcn :cic, l ccnncI." He :cic, Mcy ycu never Le
cL|e Ic u:e iIl" Ihe cn|y Ihing IhcI :Icppec him wc: crrcgcnce, cnc he never rci:ec hi: righI hcnc Ic hi:
mcuIh cfIer IhcI. 603
The Prophet (7) always liked to start things Irom the right, and he encouraged others to do likewise.
Bukhr, Muslim and Mlik report Irom Anas that the Prophet (7) was given some milk that had been
mixed with water Irom the well. There was a bedouin sitting on his right, and Ab Bakr al-6iddq was
sitting on his leIt. He drank some oI the milk, then he passed it to the bedouin and said: SIcrI cn Ihe righI
cnc pc:: Ic Ihe righI." 604
On one occasion, he asked a young boy 605 seated on his right to give up his turn Ior some elders, but
the boy insisted on taking his turn and obtaining barakah (blessing) Irom the leIt-over oI the Prophet
(7), and the Prophet (7) did not criticize or rebuke him Ior doing so. Suhayl ibn 6ad (W) described
the incident:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) wc: given :cmeIhing Ic crink, cnc he crcnk :cme cf iI. Ihere wc: c ycung
Lcy cn hi: righI, cnc :cme c|c men cn hi: |efI. He c:kec Ihe Lcy, 'Wi|| ycu |eI me give :cme Ic Ihe:e
men? Ihe Lcy :cic, 'Nc, Ly /|| h {,), l wi|| ncI give up my :hcre frcm ycu Ic cnycne. Sc Ihe Me::enger
cf /||h {7) puI iI in hi: hcnc." 606
There are many such reports and texts that deIinitively show that using the right hand is an important
aspect oI Islmic manners, which the true Muslim adopts readily and does not try to Iind excuses. This is
what the 6abah and Tabin used to do, without exception. When Umar ibn al-Khab (W) was the
Khalfah, he used to patrol the city himselI and check up on the people. Once, he saw a man eating with
his leIt hand, so he told him, 'O servant oI Allh, eat with your right hand. He saw him a second time
eating with his leIt hand, so he hit him with his whip and said, 'O slave oI Allh, eat with your right
hand. He saw him a third time eating with his leIt hand, so he hit him with his whip and said angrily, 'O
slave oI Allh, your right hand! The man replied, 'O Amr al-Muminn, it is busy. Umar said, 'What
600 Reported by Ab Dwd, 3/475, Kitb al-atimah, bb al-tasmivah; Tirmidh, 4/288, Kitb al-atimah, bb ma fa fil-tasmivah alal-
tam.
601 6a Muslim, 13/191, Kitb al-ashribah, bb adb al-taam wal-sharab.
602 6a Muslim, 13/192, Kitb al-ashribah, bb adb al-taam wal-sharab.
603 Ibid.
604 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 11/385, Kitb al-ashribah, bb al-bidaih bil-avmn.
605 This was Ibn Abbs |Author|.
606 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 11/386, Kitb al-ashribah, bb al-bidaih bil-avmn.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
163
is keeping it busy? He said, 'The day oI Mu`tah.607 Umar began to weep, and came to the man
apologizing and consoling him. He asked him, 'Who helps you make wud? Who helps you with what
you need? Then he ordered that the man should be treated Iairly and taken care oI.
Umar`s concern Ior this aspect oI the conduct oI one oI the people demonstrates the importance oI
this apparently minor issue. It is indicative oI the Muslim`s personality and unique identity. Umar was
very keen to apply this rule to the Muslims, so he did not allow them to take it lightly or ignore it.
I would like to address this to those Muslim ladies who have adopted Western table manners which
dictate that the Iork should be held in the leIt hand, and the kniIe in the right, so that the Iood is cut with
the right hand and placed in the mouth with the leIt. These people Iollow this practice without adjusting
it, so that they are eating with their leIt hands, contradictory to the teachings oI their religion. They do not
bother to move the Iork to the right hand and the kniIe to the leIt, so that they may eat with their right
hand, because they do not want to change this Western 'etiquette. This is just one example oI the moral
deIeat Irom which our ummah is suIIering at the hands oI modernism, which we are Iollowing slavishly
without adjusting or adapting Ioreign customs to suit our own identity, religion and values. The true
Muslim should be the Iurthest removed Irom such blind, ignorant imitation.
The true Muslim woman who is proud oI her religion and its noble guidance in all aspects oI liIe
insists on eating with her right hand and calls on others to do likewise. She is not ashamed to announce it
in gatherings where people still adhere slavishly to practices that have come Irom the West, so that she
may explain it to those men and women who are ignorant and careless, and bring them back to their
senses. Then they will Iollow the sunnah and eat and drink with their right hands.
With regard to the third issue, eating Irom what is nearest to one, this is in accordance with the Islmic
manners oI eating. The Prophet (7) clearly commanded this, along with mentioning the name oI Allh
(,) and eating with the right hand. It is recorded in numerous adths, such as the report oI Umar ibn
Ab Salmah (W), who said:
l wc: c ycung Lcy uncer Ihe ccre cf Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7). My hcnc u:ec Ic wcncer c|| cver Ihe
p|cIe, :c Ihe FrcpheI {7) Ic|c me: 'C ycung Lcy, menIicn Ihe ncme cf /|| h {,), ecI wiIh ycur righI hcnc,
cnc ecI frcm whcI i: cirecI|y in frcnI cf ycu."608
When the Muslim woman eats with her hand, she does so in a nice, good-mannered Iashion, as the
Prophet (7) used to do. He used to eat with just three Iingers; he did not plunge his whole hand into the
Iood in a way that would put others oII. This was reported by Kab ibn Mlik:
l :cw Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ecIing wiIh Ihree finger:, cnc when he hcc fini:hec he wcu|c|ick
Ihem." 609
The Prophet (7) commanded people to lick their Iingers and clean their plates, as Jbir (W) reported
that he said: Ycu cc ncI kncw where in Ihe fccc i: Ihe L|e::ing."610
Anas (W) said:
When Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) cIe, he wcu|c |ick hi: Ihree finger:. He :cic: 'lf cny cf ycu crcp: c
mcuIhfu|, |eI him pick iI up, remcve Ihe cirI, cnc ecI iI, cnc ncI |ecve iI fcr Ihe Sncytn. He ccmmcncec
u: Ic c|ecn cur p|cIe: cnc :cic: 'Ycu cc ncI kncw in which pcrI cf ycur fccc i: Ihe L|e::ing."611
Besides seeking the blessing in the Iood, this Prophetic teaching also encourages Muslims to clean
their hands and their plates. Cleaning them oI whatever Iood is leIt beIits the person who is clean and well
mannered, and is indicative oI his or her sensitivity and good taste. The West has now adopted this good
practice which was commanded by the Prophet (7) IiIteen hundred years ago: nowadays the Europeans
clear their plates and do not leave anything.
607 i.e., he lost his hand in the battle oI Mu`tah. |Author|
608 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 399, Kitb adb al-tam, bb al-akl mima valih.
609 6a Muslim, 13/204, Kitb al-ashribah, bb istihbb laq al-asb.
610 6a Muslim, 13/207, Kitb al-ashribah, bb istibb laq al-asb.
611 Ibid.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
164
OI course, the sensitive, well-mannered Muslim woman does not eat noisily, making disgusting
sounds, nor does she take large mouthIuls such as would cause her to make a revolting spectacle oI
herselI.
When she has Iinished eating, she praises Allh (,) as the Prophet (7) taught us to do, thanking
Allh (,) Ior His blessing and seeking the reward oI those who give praise and thanks.
Ab Ummah (W) said that when the Prophet (7) had Iinished his meal, he said:
A'-cncu '|''n| kctncn tcyy|ccn nuccckcn |n|. gncyc nck||yy|n wc ' nuwcccc'|n wc 'c
nu:tcgnncn 'cnnu. ccccn {Frci:e Le Ic /||h, much gccc cnc L|e::ec prci:e. C cur Fccc, we ccnncI
ccmpen:cIe Ycur fcvcur, ncr |ecve iI ncr ci:pen:e wiIh iI)." 612
Mu'dI Ibn Anus (W) suId:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Whcever ecI: c mec| Ihen :cy: A'-cncu '|''n| c''ccn ct'cncn
nccn wc czcqcnn| n|n gncy| cw'|n n|nn wc 'c quwwct|n |Frci:e Le Ic /||h {,) Whc fec me cnc
Le:Icwec Ihi: prcvi:icn upcn me wiIh nc pcwer cr cLi|iIy cn my pcrI], wi|| Le fcrgiven fcr Ihe :in:
ccmmiIIec pricr Ic iI." 613
The well-mannered Muslim woman does not criticize Iood, no matter what it is, Iollowing the teaching
and example oI the Prophet (7). Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) never criIicizec fccc. lf he |ikec iI, he cIe iI, cnc if he cic ncI |ike iI, he |efI iI."
614
The Muslim woman`s manners with regard to drinking are also derived Irom the teachings oI Islm,
which impart good manners to man in every aspect oI liIe.
AIter mentioning the name oI Allh (,), she drinks in two or three draughts. She does not breathe into
the cup, nor does she drink Irom the mouth oI the jug or bottle iI she can help it. She should not breathe
into her drink, and she should drink sitting down iI she can.
Drinking in two or three draughts is what the Prophet (7) used to do, as Anas (W) reported: Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) u:ec Ic LrecIhe Ihree Iime: 615 when crinking." 616
The Prophet (7) discouraged drinking in one draught:
Dc ncI crink in cne crcughI |ike ccme|: cc: crink in Iwc cr Ihree. MenIicn Ihe ncme cf /|| h {,) when
ycu crink, cnc give prci:e Ic Him when ycu fini:h crinking."617
The Prophet (7) Iorbade blowing into one`s drink, as is mentioned in the adth oI Ab Sad al-
Khudr:
/ mcn :cic, 'l :ee :cme cirI in iI. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, 'Ihen pcur iI cuI. He :cic, 'Cne crcughI i: ncI
encugh fcr me. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic, 'Icke Ihe cup cwcy frcm ycur mcuIh, Ihen Icke c LrecIh."618
The adth on the manners oI drinking make it clear that it is better Ior the well-mannered Muslim
woman to avoid drinking Irom the mouth oI the bottle or jug iI she can, and to drink sitting down iI
possible. This is preIerable, but drinking Irom the mouth oI the jug or while standing are permitted,
because the Prophet (7) did so on occasion.
Spreuding the Greeting oI Islm
One oI the distinctive aspects oI the Muslim woman`s social conduct is her insistence on the greeting
oI Islm, which she gives to every Muslim man and woman she meets, in accordance with the rules oI
giving salm outlined by Islm, which command us to spread salm in a number oI vt and adths.
612 Fat al-Br, 9/580, Kitb al-atimah, bb ma vaqul idha faragha min tamihi.
613 Reported by Ab Dwd, 4/63, Kitb al-libs, chapter 1; and Tirmidh , 5/508, Kitb al-dwat, 56. He said it is a asan adth.
614 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 11/290, Kitb al-atimah, bb la vuib al-tam.
615 i.e., he would pause and take a breath outside the cup. |Author|
616 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 406, Kitb adb al-tam, bb fi adb al-sharab.
617 Reported by Tirmidh, 4/302, Kitb al-ashribah, 13. He said it is a asan adth.
618 Reported by Tirmidh, 4/304, Kitb al-ashribah, 15. He said it is a asan a adth
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
165
In Islm, greeting with salm is a clearly deIined etiquette which has been commanded by Almighty
Allh (,) in His Book, and rules and regulations concerning this greeting have been set out in numerous
adith to which the scholars oI adith devoted entire chapters called Kitb al-salm or Bb al-salm.
Allh (,) commanded the Muslims to greet one another with salm in clear, deIinitive terms in the
Qur`n:
C ycu whc Le|ievel EnIer ncI hcu:e: cIher Ihcn ycur cwn, unIi| ycu hcve c:kec permi::icn cnc
:c|uIec Ihc:e in Ihem. (Qur`n 24: 27)
Allh (,) commanded the Muslims to return the greeting with something similar or something better,
hence it is an obligation on the one who hears a greeting to return it, and not to ignore it:
When c |ccurIecu:] greeIing i: cfferec ycu, meeI iI wiIh c greeIing :Ii|| mcre ccurIecu:, cr |cI |ec:I]
cf euc| ccurIe:y. (Qur`n 4: 86)
The Prophet (7) strongly encouraged the Muslims to spread salm and to greet those they know and
those they do not know. Abdullh ibn Amr ibn al-b (W) said:
/ mcn c:kec Ihe FrcpheI {7), 'Which Iype cf l:|m i: Ihe Le:I? He :cic, 'Ic feec pecp|e, cnc Ic :cy
:c'n Ic Ihc:e ycu kncw cnc Ihc:e ycu cc ncI kncw." 619
Greeting with salm is one oI the seven things which the Prophet (7) commanded his Companions,
and the Muslim ummah aIter them, to adhere to. They were listed by Al-Barr` ibn bzib (W):
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccmmcncec u: Ic cc :even Ihing:: Ic vi:iI Ihe :ick, Ic cIIenc funerc|:, Ic L|e::
:cmecne when he :neeze:, Ic :uppcrI Ihe weck, Ic he|p Ihe cne whc i: cppre::ec, Ic :precc :c'n, cnc Ic
he|p pecp|e fu|fi| Iheir ccIh:." 620
The Prophet (7) placed great emphasis on salm and encouraged Muslims to use this greeting in
many adths, because he understood its eIIects in spreading brotherly love and strengthening the ties oI
love, closeness and Iriendship between individuals and groups. He described it as something which would
lead to love, and love would lead to Iaith, and Iaith would lead to Paradise:
8y Ihe Cne in Whc:e hcnc i: my :cu|, ycu wi|| ncI enIer Fcrcci:e unIi| ycu Le|ieve, cnc ycu wi|| ncI
Le|ieve unIi| ycu |cve cne cncIher. Shc|| l ncI Ie|| ycu cf :cmeIhing which if ycu cc iI, ycu wi|| |cve cne
cncIher? Sprecc :c'n cmcng:I ycur:e|ve:." 621
He (7) also said that the one who initiated the greeting would be closer to Allh (,) and more
deserving oI His pleasure, Iavour and blessing: Ihe c|c:e:I cf Ihe pecp|e Ic /|| h {,) i: Ihe cne whc
:IcrI: Ihe greeIing cf :c'n." 622
'/Lcu||h iLn 'Umcr {W) u:ec Ic gc Ic Ihe mcrkeI in Ihe mcrning, cnc he cic ncI pc:: Ly cnyLccy
wiIhcuI :cying :c'n Ic him. Cne ccy he wc: c:kec, WhcI cc ycu cc in Ihe mcrkeI, when ycu cc ncI
:e|| cnyIhing, cr c:k cLcuI price:, cr hcgg|e, cr jcin cny gcIhering:?" He :cic, We gc Ih ere in Ihe
mcrning fcr Ihe purpc:e cf :cying :c'n Ic whcever we meeI." 623
In Islm, greeting with salm is not considered to be the matter oI a social custom deIined by men, that
may be changed and adapted according to time and circumstances. Greeting with salm is a clearly-
deIined etiquette which has been commanded by Almighty Allh (,) in His Book, and rules and
regulations concerning this greeting have been set out, as described above.
Ihere i: cn|y cne fcrm cf Ihe greeIing, Ic which Mu:|im men cnc wcmen whc cre cwcre cf l:|mic
mcnner: cnc cre keen Ic cpp|y l:| mic Iecching: cchere. lI i:: A'-:c'nu 'c'cykun wc cnctu''n| wc
cccktunu |pecce Le upcn ycu, cnc Ihe mercy cnc L|e::ing: cf /|| h {,)]." Ihe mcn cr wcmcn whc i:
619 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 12/260, Kitb al-istidhan, bb fadl al-salm.
620 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivdh al-6alin, 437, Kitb al-salm, bb fadl al-salm; this wording is taken Irom a report narrated by
Bukhr.
621 6a Muslim, 2/35, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn annahu la vadkhul al-fannah illa al-muminn.
622 Reported with a Javvid isnd by Ab Dwd, 5/380, Kitb al-adb, bb fi fadl man badaa al-salm.
623 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/465, Bb man kharafa vusallim wa vusallam alavh.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
166
iniIicIing Ihe greeIing :cy: iI |ike Ihi: - in Ihe p|urc| fcrm - even if he cr :he i: greeIing cn|y cne per:cn. Ihe
mcn cr wcmcn Ihu: cccre::ec re:pcnc:: Wc'c'cykun c'-:c'n wc cnctu''n| wc cccktunu." 624
The Muslim woman who is keen to be distinguished by her Islmic identity adheres to this blessed
Iorm oI greeting, which is the original greeting oI Islm, and does not substitute any other kind oI
greeting.
This correct Islmic greeting should not be replaced by other greetings, such as the old-Iashioned
Arabic greeting 'Imm sabaan, or modern greetings such as 'Saba al-khavr, 'good morning, or
'Bonfour (in Arabic, English and Erench, respectively), and other usages which are spreading in the
Muslim societies that have deviated Irom the guidance oI Islm.
This Islmic greeting is the greeting which Allh (,) chose Ior His creation Irom the time oI bdam, to
whom He taught it and commanded him to greet the angels with it. He wanted bdam`s descendants in all
times and places to use this greeting, because oI its meaning oI peace which is something most beloved
by man regardless oI where or when he lives. This divinely-ordained greeting is preserved nowhere
except in the ummah oI Islm which has adhered to the true way and has not changed it or deviated Irom
it. The Prophet (7) said:
When /||h {,) crecIec bccm {X), He Ic|c him, 'Gc cnc greeI Ihc:e - c grcup cf cnge|: whc were
:iIIing - 'cnc |i:Ien Ic hcw Ihey greeI ycu, fcr iI wi|| Le ycur greeIing cnc IhcI cf ycur ce:cenccnI:. Sc he
:cic: 'A'-:c'nu 'c'cykun, cnc Ihey re:pcncec, 'Wc 'c'cykc c'-:c'nu wc cnctu''n. Ihey cccec 'Wc
cnctu''n." 625
No wonder this Iorm is such a blessed greeting, Ior it comes Irom Allh (,), Who commanded us to
adopt it as our greeting and never to replace it with anything else:
8uI if ycu enIer hcu:e:, :c|uIe ecch cIher - c greeIing cr L|e::ing cnc puriIy c: frcm /||h.
(Qur`n 24: 61)
ThereIore Jibrl (X) used this Iorm oI the greeting when he greeted bishah. She used the same Iorm
in returning the greeting. This is reported in the adth Irom bishah (May Allh be pleased with her):
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) Ic|c me: 'Ihi: i: JiLr| whc i: :cying :c'n Ic ycu. She :cic, l :cic: 'Wc 'c'cyn|
c'-:c'nu wc cnctu''n| wc cccktunu |cnc upcn him Le pecce cnc Ihe mercy cnc L|e::ing: cf /||h
{,)]" 626
There are also rules concerning the greeting oI salm, which the true Muslim tries to adhere to and
apply properly in his or her own social liIe. These rules are summed up in the adth reported by Bukhr
and others Irom Ab Hurayrah (W):
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Ihe cne whc i: ricing :hcu|c :cy :c'n Ic Ihe cne whc i: wc|king, Ihe
cne whc i: wc|king Ic Ihe cne whc i: :iIIing, cnc Ihe :mc||er grcup Ic Ihe |crger grcup." 627 / repcrI
ncrrcIec Ly 8ukhr ccc: Ihe wcrc: /nc Ihe ycung Ic Ihe c|c." 628
Ihe greeIing i: given Ic men cnc wcmen c|ike, c: /:m LinI Yczc {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her)
repcrIec IhcI Ihe FrcpheI {7) pc::ec Ly Ihe mc:ue cne ccy when c grcup cf wcmen were :iIIing
Ihere cnc he wcvec hi: hcnc Ic Ihem in greeIing.629
Ihe greeIing i: c|:c Ic Le given Ic chi|cren, Ic ccucinI Ihem wiIh Ihe mcnner: cf greeIing cnc giving
:c'n. lI i: repcrIec IhcI /nc: {W) pc::ec Ly :cme chi|cren cnc greeIec Ihem wiIh :c'n, Ihen :cic, Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) u:ec Ic cc IhcI." 630
624 The greeting should always be spoken in Arabic, regardless oI whatever one`s native tongue is or whatever language is being spoken at
any given time. |Translator|
625 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 437, Kitb al-salm, bb fi fadl al-salm.
626 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 439, Kitb al-salm, bb kavfivvah al-salm.
627 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 440, Kitb al-salm, bb fi adb al-salm.
628 Reported by Bukhr. See Rivd al-6alin, 44, Kitb al-salm, bb fi adb al-salm.
629 Reported by Tirmidh, 5/58, in Kitb al-istidhan, bb ma fa fil-taslim alal-nis. He said it is a asan adth.
630 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 442, Kitb al-salm, bb al-salm alal-subvan.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
167
When the greeting is given at night, it should be spoken soItly and in a quiet voice, so that those who
are awake might hear it without disturbing those who are asleep. This is what the Prophet (7) used to
do, according to the lengthy adth oI Al-Miqdd (W) in which he says:
We u:ec Ic puI c:ice Ihe FrcpheI: :hcre cf Ihe mi|k cnc he wcu|c ccme cI nighI cnc greeI u: in :uch c
wcy c: ncI Ic wcke Ihc:e whc were c:|eep, LuI Ihc:e whc were cwcke wcu|c hecr iI. Sc Ihe FrcpheI
{7) ccme cnc greeIec u: c: he u:uc|| y cic." 631
Salm should be given when joining a gathering and when leaving it. The Prophet (7) said:
When cny cne cf ycu ccme: Ic c gcIhering, |eI him :cy :c'n, cnc when he wcnI: Ic |ecve, |eI him :cy
:c'n. Ihe fcrmer i: ncI mcre impcrIcnI Ihcn Ihe |cIIer." 632
The Muslim woman who is distinguished by her true Islmic manners understands the sublime
teachings oI the Prophet (7) concerning the greeting oI salm and its etiquette. She Iollows this
etiquette precisely in her private and social liIe, and encourages others to do likewise.
She oes Not Lnter u House Other Thun Her Own Without Permission
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islm does not enter a house other than her own without
seeking permission and saying salm to the people who live there. This seeking permission is a divine
commandment, which is not to be evaded or ignored:
C ycu whc Le|ievel EnIer ncI hcu:e: cIher Ihcn ycur cwn, unIi| ycu hcve c:kec permi::icn cnc
:c|uIec Ihc:e in Ihem: IhcI i: Le:I fcr ycu, in crcer IhcI ycu mcy heec |whcI i: :eem|y]. lf ycu finc nc
cne in Ihe hcu:e, enIer ncI unIi| permi::icn i: given Ic ycu: if ycu cre c:kec Ic gc Lcck, gc Lcck:
IhcI mcke: fcr grecIer puriIy fcr ycur:e|ve:: cnc /||h kncw: we|| c|| IhcI ycu cc. 8uI when Ihe
chi|cren cmcng ycu ccme cf cge, |eI Ihem |c|:c] c:k fcr permi::icn, c: cc Ihc:e :enicr Ic Ihem |in
cge] (Qur`n 24: 27-28 and 59)
The Muslim woman should never even think oI seeking permission to enter a house that she is not
permitted to enter, such as a house where there are only non-maram men present. When she seeks
permission to enter, it is to go to where there are other women or men who are permitted to see her (i.e.
maram), and no one else - in accordance with the commands oI Allh (,) and His Messenger.
There are certain manners in seeking permission which Islm urges Muslim men and women to Iollow
whenever they want to visit somebody:
(1) The woman who is seeking permission to enter should not stand squarely in Iront oI the door, but
to the right or leIt oI it. This is what the Messenger oI Allh (7) used to do. Abdullh ibn Busr, the
Companion oI the Prophet (7) said:
Whenever Ihe FrcpheI {7) ccme Ic c cccr :eeking permi::icn Ic enIer, he cic ncI :Icnc fccing iI: he
wcu|c :Icnc Ic Ihe righI cr Ihe |efI. lf he wc: givenpermi::icn, he wcu|c enIer, cIherwi:e he wcu|c
|ecve." 633
The rule oI seeking permission has been given to protect privacy, as Sahl ibn 6ad (W) reported that the
Prophet (7) said:
Seeking permi::icn hc: Leen mcce c ru|e fcr Ihe :cke cf ncI :eeing. 634 " 635
ThereIore the man or woman who is seeking permission is not allowed to stand Iacing the door, as
this would allow him or her to see inside when the door is opened.
(2) She should say salm and then ask Ior permission. Seeking permission beIore saying salm is
incorrect. This is the teaching oI the Prophet (7) as given in the adth oI Ribi ibn Hirash who said:
631 6a Muslim, 14/14, Kitb al-ashribah, bb ikrm al-davf. See also Rivd al-6alin, 439.
632 Reported by Ab Dwd, 5/386, Kitb al-adb, bb fil-salm; Tirmidh, 5/62, Kitb al-istidhan, 15. Tirmidh said it is a asan adth.
633 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/513, Bb kavfa vaqm ind al-bb..
634 i.e., so that the one seeking permission will not see anything that the people whose house it is, do not want him to see. |Translator|
635 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 445, Kitb al-salm, bb al-istidhan wa adabih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
168
/ mcn cf 8cn 'bmir Ic|c u: IhcI he hcc :cughI permi::icn Ic enIer upcn Ihe FrcpheI { 7), whc wc: in c
hcu:e. He :cic, 'Shc|| l geI in? Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) Ic|c hi: :ervcnI, 'Gc cuI Ic Ihi: per:cn cnc
Iecch him hcw Ic :eek permi::icn Ic enIer. Ie|| him Ic :cy A'-:c'n 'c'cykun, mcy l enIer?" Ihe mcn
hecrc, :c he :cic 'A'-:c'n 'c'cykun, mcy l enIer? Ihen Ihe FrcpheI {7) gcve him permi::icn cnc he
enIerec." 636
(3) She should identiIy herselI clearly when asked 'Who are you? by giving her name or kunvah. She
should not reply in vague terms, such as 'It is me. The Prophet (7) disliked such an answer Irom a
person knocking at the door, as such words do not give a clear idea oI the person`s identity. He said that a
person should state his or her name clearly when asking to come in.
JLir {W) :cic: l ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7) cnc kncckec cI Ihe cccr. He :cic, 'Whc i: Ihi:? l cn:werec,
'Me, cnc he :cic, 'Me? Me? c: if he ci:|ikec Ihi: cn:wer." 637
The Prophet (7) thus taught us that the sunnah when seeking permission to enter is to state one`s name
clearly. This is what he and his noble companions used to do. Ab Dharr (W) said:
l wenI cuI cne nighI cnc :cw Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) wc|king cn hi: cwn. l Legcn Ic wc|k in Ihe
:hcccw: cc:I Ly Ihe mccn|ighI. He Iurnec crcunc cnc :cw me, :c he :cic, 'Whc i: Ihi:? cnc l :cic, '/L
Dhcrr." 638
Umm Han` (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
l ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI: hcu:e whi|e he wc: hcving gnu:'. Fimch wc: :creening him cnc he :cic, 'Whc
i: Ihi:? l :cic, 'l cm Umm Hcn." 639
(q) SIe sIouId go buck II sIe Is usked Lo do so, wILIouL geLLIng upseL or ungry. TIIs Is
LIe commundmenL oI AIII (,) In LIe Qur`n:
lf ycu cre c:kec Ic gc Lcck, gc Lcck: IhcI mcke: fcr grecIer puriIy fcr ycur:e|ve:: cnc /||h kncw: we||
c|| IhcI ycu cc. (Qur`n 24: 28)
The Prophet (7) taught that permission to enter should only be sought three times, then iI permission
is given one may enter, otherwise one should go back. Ab Msa al-Ashar (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Seek permi::icn Ic enIer Ihree Iime:, Ihen if permi::icn i: given Ic ycu,
enIer, cIherwi:e gc Lcck." 640
Ab Msa once asked Umar (W) Ior permission to enter, and it was not given, so he went away.
Umar called him to come back, and they had a lengthy conversation about seeking permission and going
away. It is useIul to quote this conversation, to demonstrate how meticulous the 6abah were in Iinding
out the teachings oI the Prophet (7) and in applying them. Abu Msa said:
l :cughI permi::icn Ic enIer upcn 'Umcr Ihree Iime:, cnc permi::icn wc: ncI given, :c l wenI cwcy. 'Umcr
cc||ec me Lcck cnc :cic: 'C :|cve cf /|| h {,), cic ycu finc iI hcrc Ic Le kepI wciIing cI my cccr? Ycu :hcu|c
kncw IhcI pecp|e finc iI ju:I c: hcrc Ic Le kepI wciIing cI ycur cccr. l :cic, 'Nc, l c:kec permi::icn frcm ycu
Ihree Iime: cnc iI wc: ncI given, :c l wenI cwcy |cnc we were ccmmcncec Ic cc Ihi:]. He :cic, ' Frcm whcm
cic ycu hecr Ihi:? l :cic, 'l hecrc iI frcm Ihe FrcpheI { 7). He :cic, 'Hcve ycu hecrc :cmeIhing frcm Ihe
FrcpheI {7) IhcI we hcve ncI hecrc? lf ycu cc ncI Lring :cme evicence fcr Ihi: l wi|| mcke cn excmp|e cf
ycu. Sc l wenI cuI unIi| l ccme Ic c grcup cf Ihe An whc were :iIIing in Ihe mc:ue. l c:kec Ihem cLcuI iI
cnc Ihey :cic, 'Dce: cnycne ccuLI ycu ccncerning Ihi:? Sc l Ic|c Ihem whcI 'Umcr hcc :cic. Ihey :cic, 'Nc
cne LuI Ihe ycunge:I cf u: wi|| ccme wiIh ycu. Sc /L Sc'c c|-Khucr - cr /L Mc:'c - ccme wiIh me Ic
'Umcr, cnc Ic|c him, 'We wenI cuI wiIh Ihe FrcpheI { 7) Ic vi:iI Sc'c iLn 'ULcch. When we gcI Ihere, |Ihe
FrcpheI {7)] :cic :c'n, LuI nc permi::icn Ic enIer wc: given. He :cic :c'nc :eccnc cnc c Ihirc Iime, LuI nc
636 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 2/518, Bb idha qala. udkhul? wa lam vusallim; See also Rivd al-6alin, 445.
637 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 447, Kitb al-salm, bb fi bavn an al-sunnah an vusammi al-mustadhin nafsahu.
638 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 447, Kitb al-salm, bb fi bavn an al-sunnah an vusammi al-mustadhin nafsahu.
639 Ibid.
640 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 445, Kitb al-salm, bb fil-istidhn wa adabih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
169
permi::icn wc: given. He :cic, 'We hcve ccne whcI we hcc Ic, Ihen he wenI cwcy. Sc'c ccme cfIer him
cnc :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /|| h, Ly Ihe Cne Whc :enI ycu wiIh Ihe IruIh, ycu cic ncI :cy :c'nLuI l hecrc ycu
cnc reIurnec Ihe greeIing, LuI l wcnIec Ic increc: e Ihe numLer cf Iime: ycu :cic :c'n Ic me cnc my
hcu:ehc|c." /L M:c :cic: 8y /||h {,), l wc: Leing hcne:I in whcI l repcrIec cf Ihe wcrc: cf Ihe Me::enger
cf /||h. He {'Umcr) :cic: 'l cgree, LuI l wcnIec Ic Le :ure." 641
ln cncIher repcrI ncrrcIec Ly Mu:|im, iI :IcIe: IhcI when Ihi: ccIh wc: prcven, 'Umcr reLukec him:e|f,
c: iI were, Ly :cying Wc: cny Iecching cf Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h hiccen frcm me? My Lu:ine:: in Ihe
mcrkeI kepI me Lu:y." 642
These are the Islmic rules and manners pertaining to seeking permission to enter a house. No doubt
the true Muslim woman who is keen to Iollow Islmic etiquette will apply these rules in her everyday liIe,
each time she knocks on a door to seek permission to enter, and she will also teach these manners to her
sons and daughters.
She Sits Wherever She Iinds Room in u Guthering
Another aspect oI the manners oI the true Muslim woman is that she sits wherever she Iinds room
when she joins a gathering where other women have arrived beIore her and Iound a place to sit. This is a
reIined social etiquette that is derived Irom the example, in word and deed, oI the Prophet (7), and is a
sign oI good taste, sensitivity and politeness in the person who adopts it.
Such a reIined Muslim woman does not Iorce her way through the group oI women who are sitting, or
push them aside in order to Iorce them to make space Ior her. This is in accordance with the teachings oI
the Prophet (7) which he taught his Companions to adopt when they joined his gathering.
Jbir ibn Samurah (W) said:
When we ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI {7), we wcu|c :iI wherever we fcunc rccm." 643
The well-mannered Muslim woman avoids pushing between two people, and comes between them
only with their permission, iI it is necessary to do so. Pushing between two people without their
permission is something which the Prophet (7) Iorbade and warned against:
L Is noL permILLed Ior u mun Lo come beLween Lwo peopIe excepL wILI LIeIr permIssIon.644
Pushing between two people, whether in a gathering or in other circumstances, is odd behaviour which
Islm has made clearly disliked. Muslims are to avoid such behaviour. There are many adths and athar
(reports) to that eIIect; these reports are narrated in the masculine Iorm, as they were spoken to the men
who were usually around the Prophet (7), to remind them oI correct Islmic manners, but these rules
apply equally to women. The laws and commandments oI Islm are addressed to all Muslims, and both
men and women are responsible Ior obeying its commands and Iollowing its guidance.
One oI these reports is that oI Sad al-Maqbar who said:
l pc::ec Ly lLn 'Umcr cnc Ihere wc: c mcn wiIh him Ic|king Ic him. l :Iccc Ly Ihem, cnc lLn 'Umcr
:|cppec my che:I cnc :cic: 'lf ycu finc Iwc pecp|e Ic|king, cc ncI :Icnc Ly Ihem cnc cc ncI :iI wiIh
Ihem, unIi| ycu hcve c:kec Iheir permi::icn. l :cic, 'Mcy /|| h {,) guice ycu, C /L '/Lcu|-Fcmnl l cn|y
hcpec Ic hecr :cmeIhing gccc frcm ycu LcIh." 645
II someone gets up to let her sit in her place, she should not accept. This is better and more noble, and
it is closer to the practice oI the 6abah, may Allh be pleased with them. Ibn Umar (W) said:
641 Fat al-Br, 11/26, Kitb al-istidhn, bb al-taslim wal-istidhan; 6a Muslim, 14/130, Kitb al-adb, bb al-istidhn.
642 6a Muslim, 14/134, Kitb al-adb, bb al-istidhn.
643 Reported by Ab Dwd, 5/164, in Kitb al-istidhn, 16, and Tirmidh, 5/73, Kitb al-istidhn, 29. Tirmidh said it is a asan a
gharib adth.
644 Reported by Ab Dwd, 5/175, Kitb al-adb, 24, and Tirmidh, 5/44, Kitb al-adb, 11. Tirmidh said it is a asan adth.
645 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad,2/580, Bb idha raa qawman vatanafuna fala vudkhul maahum.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
170
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Ncne cf ycu :hcu|c mcke cncIher geI up Ihen :iI in hi: p|cce. /|| cf
ycu :hcu|c mcve up cnc mcke :pcce {fcr c |cIeccmer)." 646 lf cnycne :Iccc up Ic give hi: p|cce Ic
him, lLn 'Umcr wcu|c never cccepI iI.647
On such occasions, the Muslim woman always abides by the guidance oI Islm and the conduct oI the
6abah, may Allh be pleased with them. So she attains the social manners that are encouraged by
Islm, and earns the reward oI Allh (,) Ior Iollowing the Sunnah oI His Prophet (7).
She oes Not Converse Privutely With Another Womun When u Third is Present
Islm came to Iorm human beings who are sensitive and civil, with an awareness and understanding oI
the Ieelings oI others. ThereIore Islm has set out social and moral guidelines that are at the heart oI this
religion, and we are commanded to Iollow these guidelines and apply them in our own lives.
One oI the guidelines laid down by the Prophet (7) is that two people should not talk privately
between themselves when a third person is present:
lf ycu cre Ihree, Iwc :hcu|c ncI ccnver:e privcIe|y Ic Ihe exc|u:icn cf Ihe cIher, unIi| mcre pecp|e jcin
ycu, Leccu:e IhcI wi|| mcke him :cc." 648
The Muslim woman whose solid grounding in Islmic teaching has given her intelligence, sensitivity
and good manners, avoids whispering and conversing privately when she is in a group oI no more than
three women. She is careIul not to hurt the Ieelings oI the third woman, lest she Ieel excluded and
oIIended. II there is an urgent need Ior two oI them to converse privately, then they must ask the
permission oI the third woman, speak brieIly, then apologize to her.
This is the attitude oI the Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islm, and this is the civil way in
which she deals with other women. She learns all this Irom the teachings oI Islm and the stories oI the
6abah, whose lives and manners were so completely permeated with the teachings and morals oI Islm,
that they never ignored these sensitive issues in their dealings with people. This is reIlected in many
reports which describe their careIul respect Ior human Ieelings. An example is the report given by Imm
Mlik in Al-Muwatt, Irom Abdullh ibn Dinr who said:
lLn 'Umcr cnc l were cI Ihe hcu:e cf Kh|ic iLn 'ULch, which wc: in Ihe mcrkeI, when c mcn ccme in
wcnIing Ic :peck Ic him {lLn 'Umcr) in privcIe. l wc: Ihe cn|y cIher per:cn pre:enI, :c lLn 'Umcr cc||ec
cncIher mcn Ic mcke cur numLer up Ic fcur. Ihen he Ic|c me cnc Ihe newccmer, 'Mcve c |iII|e wcy cff
IcgeIher, fcr l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) :cying, Iwc :hcu|c ncI ccnver:e privcIe|y Ic Ihe
exc|u:icn cf Ihe Ihirc."" 649
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by the teachings oI Islm and the way in which the best oI
generations (i.e. the 6abah) applied them Iollows the example oI Ibn Umar (W), who did not want to
listen to a man who had come in oII the street suddenly to converse with him in private, because he knew
that there was a third person present whose Ieelings could be hurt iI he asked him to move away on his
own. He waited to listen to the man who wanted to converse in private, until he had called a Iourth man,
then he explained to all oI them that this was the sunnah oI the Prophet (7), and repeated the adth to
them, reminding the Muslims that this is the approach they should take when they Iind themselves in such
situations, respecting people`s Ieelings and Iollowing the sunnah oI the Prophet (7).
How Iine are the social manners encouraged by Islm! How great is the honour which Islm bestows
upon human beings and the respect and consideration it shows towards their Ieelings!
646 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 12/296, 297, Kitb al-istidhn, bb la vuqim al-raful min maflisihi idha hadara.
647 6a Muslim, 14/161, Kitb al-salm, bb tarm iqmah al-insn min mawduih.
648 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/90, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb la vunf ithnn duna al-thlith.
649 Al-Muwatt, 2/988, Kitb al-kalm (6).
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
171
She Respects Llders und istinguished People
Islm brought a host oI Iine social rules which instil an attitude oI chivalry, nobility, good manners and
politeness in the heart oI the Muslim. One oI the most prominent oI these teachings is to give due respect
to elders and those who are deserving oI respect (such as scholars, etc.)
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islm does not neglect to Iollow this most essential, basic
Islmic ruling, which gives the Muslim woman her genuine identity in the Islmic society. Whoever lacks
this quality IorIeits his or her membership in this community and no longer has the honour oI belonging
to the ummah oI Islm, as the Prophet (7) stated:
He cce: ncI Le|cng Ic my ummch whc cce: ncI hcncur cur e|cer:, :hcw ccmpc::icn Ic cur ycung
cne:, cnc pcy cue re:pecI Ic cur :chc|cr:." 650
Fe:pecI fcr e|cer: cnc giving Ihem pricriIy cver Ihc:e whc cre ycunger, cre inciccIicn: cf c ccmmuniIy:
cr :ccieIy: |eve| cf civi|iIy, cf iI: memLer: uncer:Icncing cf Ihe ru|e: cf humcn mcrc|iIy, cnc cf Iheir high
|eve| cf gccc mcnner:. Ihi: i: ju:I c: Irue cf wcmen c: iI i: cf men. Hence Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: keen Ic
reinfcrce Ihi: uncer:Icncing in Ihe hecrI: cf Ihe Mu:|im:, whi|:I he wc: rci:ing Ihe :IrucIure cf Ihe l:| mic
:ccieIy. /mcng Ihe evicence cf hi: ccncern Ic cchieve Ihi: cre hi: wcrc: Ic '/Lcu| -Fcmn iLn Sch|, whc
wc: :pecking c|Ihcugh he wc: Ihe ycunge:I memLer cf Ihe ce|egcIicn IhcI hcc ccme Ic Ihe FrcpheI
{7). Ihe FrcpheI {7) Ic|c him, LeI :cmecne whc i: c|cer Ihcn ycu :peck, |eI :cmecne whc i: c|cer
Ihcn ycu :peck." Sc /Lcu|-Fcmn fe|| :i|enI, cnc :cmecne whc wc: c|cer Ihcn him :pcke. 651
When the modern Muslim woman shows respect to a lady who is older than her, or honours a woman
who is deserving oI respect, she is doing a worthwhile moral duty that in Iact is a part oI worship, because
honouring one`s elders and those who are distinguished is part oI gloriIying Allh (,), as the Prophet
(7) said:
FcrI cf g|crifying /||h {,) i: hcncuring Ihe grey-hcirec {i.e., c|cer) Mu:|im, Ihe cne whc hc: |ecrnI Ihe
Curn Ly hecrI wiIhcuI excggercIing cLcuIiI cr igncring iI: Iecching:, cnc hcncuring Ihe ju:I ru|er."652
By behaving in this way, the Muslim woman Iollows the command oI the Prophet (7) to give people
their rightIul positions in the Islmic society. Imm Muslim mentions this at the beginning oI his 6a,
where he says:
lI wc: repcrIec IhcI 'bi:hch {Mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh her) :cic, 'Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7) crcerec
u: Ic puI pecp|e in Iheir righIfu| pc:iIicn:." 653
The Muslim woman should not Iorget that giving people their rightIul position means recognizing their
positions and giving priority to elders, scholars, those who have memorised the Qur`n, those who are
wise and those who are distinguished, whether they are men or women.
She oes Not Look into Other People`s Houses
Another oI the qualities oI the well-mannered Muslim woman is that she does not look around the
home oI her host or seek to inspect its contents. This is not behaviour that beIits the wise, decent Muslim
woman; it is a hateIul, undesirable attitude. The Prophet (7) warned those who let their gaze wander in
gatherings and try to see things that are none oI their business, and he said that it was permissible to pluck
their eyes out:
Whcever |cck: inIc :cmecne: hcme wiIhcuI Iheir permi::icn, Ihen iI i: permi::iL|e fcr I he pecp|e cf Ihe
hcu:e Ic p|uck Iheir eye: cuI." 654
650 Reported with a asan isnd by Amad and A-abarn. See Mafm al-Zawid, 8/14, bb tawfir al-kabr wa ramat al-saghr.
651 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 207, Bb tawfir al-ulama wal-kibr wa ahl al-fadl.
652 A asan adth narrated by Ab Dwd, 5/184, Kitb al-adb, 23.
653 6a Muslim, 1/55
654 6a Muslim, 14/138, Kitb al-adb, bb tahm al-na:r fi bavt ghavrih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
172
She Avoids Yuwning in u Guthering us Much us She Cun
The Muslim woman who is sensitive and well-mannered does not yawn in a gathering iI she can help
it. II the urge to yawn overtakes her, then she tries to resist it as much as possible. This is what the
Prophet (7) advised:
lf cny cf ycu wcnI: Ic ycwn, Ihen |eI him :uppre:: iI c: much c: pc::iL|e."655
II the urge to yawn cannot be resisted, then she should cover her mouth with her hand, as the Prophet
(7) commanded:
lf cny cf ycu ycwn:, |eI him ccver hi: mcuIh wiIh hi: hcnc :c IhcI Ihe Sncytn cce: ncI enIer." 656
Yawning in Iront oI others is unpleasant and oII-putting. It does not beIit the decent person. ThereIore
he or she must resist the urge to yawn, or at least cover his or her open mouth with his or her hand, so that
the others present need not see it. The Prophet (7) taught the Muslims, men and women, how to behave
properly in a social setting so that they will not put people oII or make them Ieel that they are bored with
them and want to leave them or want them to leave. This is the way in which the polite Muslim woman
who Iollows Islmic etiquette conducts herselI.
She Iollows Islmic Ltiquette When She Sneezes
It is no secret to the Muslim woman that just as Islm has deIined the manners governing the act oI
yawning in gatherings, it has also deIined the etiquette to be observed when one sneezes. Islm teaches
the Muslims, men and women, how they should behave when they sneeze, what they should say to the
one who sneezes, and how they should pray Ior him or her.
Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: '/||h {,) |ike: Ihe ccI cf :neezing cnc ci:|ike: Ihe ccI cf ycwning. When cny cne cf
ycu :neeze: cnc :cy: A'-cncu-'|''n", Ihen he hc: Ihe righI Ic hecr every Mu:|im :cy Yccnuk A''n." 8uI
ycwning i: frcm Ihe Sncyn, :c if cny cf ycu fee|: Ihe urge Ic ycwn, he :hcu|c re:i:I iI c: much c: he ccn, fcr
when cny cf ycu ycwn:, Ihe Sncycn |cugh: cI him." 657
This simple reIlex action does not occur in the Muslim`s liIe without being regulated by certain
manners which make the Muslims Ieel, in the depths oI their heart, that this religion came to reIorm all
issues in this liIe, great and small alike, and to give them certain words to say which would constantly
connect humanity to Allh (,), the Rabb oI the Worlds.
When a Muslim woman sneezes, she should say 'Al-amdu lillh, and the one who hears her should
say, 'Yaramuk Allh. Then she must respond to her sister`s du by saying 'vahdikum Allh wa vusli
balkum (may Allh guide you and correct your aIIairs). This is the teaching oI the Prophet (7)
according to the adth narrated by Bukhr:
When cny cne cf ycu :neeze:, |eI him :cy 'A'-cncu '|''n, cnc |eI hi: LrcIher cr ccmpcnicn: :cy
'Yccnuk A''n. /nc if he :cy: 'Yccnuk A''n, |eI Ihe fir:I cne :cy, 'Ycnc|kun A''n wc yu:'|
cc'kun." 658
This du, Yaramuk Allh, is said to the one who sneezes in response to his or her saying Al-amdu
lillh. II he or she does not say Al-amdu lillh, then there is no obligation to respond in this way. The
Prophet (7) said:
When cny cf ycu :neeze: cnc prci:e: /|| h {,), Ihen re:pcnc Ic him |Ly :cying yccnuk A''n], LuI if he
655 Fat al-Br, 10/611, Kitb al-adb, bb idha tathaab fa lavada vadahu ala fih; 6a Muslim, 18/123, Kitb al-:uhd, bb kirahah
al-tathaub.
656 6a Muslim, 18/122, Kitb al-:uhd, bb kirahah al-tathaub.
657 Fat al-Br, 10/611, Kitb al-adb, bb idha tathaab fa lavada vadahu ala fih
658 Fat al-Br, 10/608, Kitb al-adb, bb idha tathaab fa lavada vadahu ala fih
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
173
cce: ncI prci:e /||h {,), Ihen cc ncI re:pcnc Ic him." 659
Anas (W) said:
Iwc men :neezec in Ihe pre:ence cf Ihe FrcpheI { 7), cnc he re:pcncec Ic cne cf Ihem cnc ncI Ihe
cIher. Ihe cne Ic whcm he cic ncI re:pcnc :cic, 'Sc-cnc-:c :neezec cnc ycu re:pcncec. l :neezec cnc
ycu cic ncI re:pcnc. He :cic, 'He prci:ec /|| h {,), LuI ycu cic ncI." 660
Discussing these words which the Prophet (7) encouraged the Muslims to say when someone
sneezes highlights their ultimate aim, which is to mention and praise Allh (,), and to strengthen the ties
oI brotherhood and Iriendship among all Muslims, men and women. The one who sneezes praises Allh
(,) Ior relieI Irom some sensitivity or irritation which he had in his nose, and the one who hears him
praise Allh (,) prays Ior mercy Ior him, because the one who praises Allh (,) deserves mercy. The
one who sneezes then responds with a longer and more comprehensive du which is Iull oI meanings oI
goodness, love and Iriendship.
Thus Islm takes these involuntary actions oI Muslims and makes them into opportunities Ior
remembering and praising Allh (,) and reinIorcing the Ieelings oI brotherhood (and sisterhood), love
and compassion in their hearts.
Another oI the good manners to be observed when sneezing is to place one`s hand over one`s mouth
and to make as little noise as possible. This is what the Prophet (7) used to do. Ab Hurayrah (W) said,
When Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :neezec, he u:ec Ic p|cce hi: hcnc cr pcrI cf hi: gcrmenI cver hi:
mcuIh cnc Ihu: recuce Ihe nci:e he mcce." 661
The well-mannered Muslim woman who is aware oI Islmic etiquette does not Iorget, in such situations
where a person may be taken by surprise, to conduct herselI in the manner prescribed by the Prophet (7)
and to use the same words that he is reported to have used when he sneezed. This is the etiquette to be
observed, in obedience to the words oI the Prophet (7), whenever she or another person sneezes, or in
response to a sister who 'blesses her (says Yaramuk Allh) when she sneezes.
She oes Not Seek the ivorce oI Another Womun so Thut She Muy Tuke her Pluce
The true Muslim woman Ieels that she is living in a Muslim community, whose members are her
brothers and sisters. In such a divinely-guided community, cheating, deceit, treachery and all the other
vile attitudes that are rampant in societies that have deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,), are
Iorbidden.
One oI the worst oI these attitudes is that oI the woman who looks at a married man with the intention
oI snatching him Irom his wiIe once they are divorced so that he will be all hers. The true Muslim woman
is the Iurthest removed Irom this vile attitude, which the Prophet (7) Iorbade when he Iorbade a
numbers oI other, similarly evil attitudes and practices. We see this in the adth narrated by Bukhr and
Muslim Irom Ab Hurayrah (W), who said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cic: 'Dc ncI cuILic cne cncIher {in crcer Ic rci:e price: crIificic||y) 662: cc
ncI uncercuI cne cncIher 663: c Icwn-cwe||er :hcu|c ncI :e|| :cmeIhing cn Lehc|f cf c Leccuin 664: c
mcn :hcu|c ncI prcpc:e Ic c wcmcn Ic whcm hi: LrcIher hc: c|reccy prcpc:ec: c wcmcn :hcu|c ncI
c:k fcr Ihe civcrce cf cncIher :c IhcI :he mighI ceprive her cf everyIhing IhcI Le|cng: Ic her. 665 " 666
According to a report narrated by Bukhr, also Irom Ab Hurayrah, the Prophet (7) said:
659 6a Muslim, 18/121, Kitb al-:uhd, bb tashmivat al-tish.
660 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 448, Kitb al-salm, bb istihbb tashmivat al-tish.
661 Reported by Ab Dwd, 5/288, Kitb al-adb, 98; Tirmidh, 5/86, Kitb al-adb, 6. Tirmidh said it is a asan a adth.
662 i.e., a person should not raise the price oI something he has no intention oI buying, in order to mislead another. |Author|
663 i.e., do not ask a person to return something he has bought so that you may sell him something similar Ior a lower price. |Author|
664 i.e., he should not act as an agent Ior him, controlling prices in a way that harms the community. |Author|
665 i.e., she should not ask a man to divorce his wiIe and marry her instead, so that she will enjoy all the comIorts and good treatment that were
previously enjoyed by the one who is divorced. |Author|
666 Fat al-Br, 4/352, 353, Kitb al-buvu, bb la vabi ala bav akhih; 6a Muslim, 9/198, Kitb al-nik, bb tarm khutbah al-
raful ala khutbah akhih. This version is that narrated by Muslim.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
174
lI i: ncI permiIIec fcr c wcmcn Ic c:k fcr her :i:Ier: civcrce :c IhcI :he mcy Icke everyIhing :he hc:, fcr
:he wi|| hcve whcI hc: Leen cecreec fcr her." 667
The Muslim woman is the sister oI another, and believes that what Allh (,) has decreed Ior her must
surely happen. She cannot be a true believer unless she likes Ior her sister what she likes Ior herselI, as
the Prophet (7) said:
Ncne cf ycu Iru|y Le|ieve: unIi| he |ike: fcr hi: LrcIher whcI he |ike: fcr him:e|f."668
The Muslim woman is protected by her knowledge and Iaith Irom Ialling into the trap oI this sin. She
is saved Irom such appalling error by her obedience to Allh (,) and His Messenger, and by her
acceptance oI the high human values that Islm has made part oI her nature. She does not avoid this sin
only to be protected Irom the scandal that surrounds a woman who commits such a vile deed; a woman
could conceal her evil schemes and thus be spared social blame, but she can never escape the punishment
oI Allh (,), >Whc kncw: whcI i: :ecreI cnc whcI i: yeI mcre hiccen.@ (Qur`n 20: 7)
She Chooses the Work Thut Suits her Ieminine Nuture
Islm has spared women the burden oI having to work to earn a living, and has made it obligatory on
her Iather, brother, husband or other male relative to support her. So the Muslim woman does not seek
work outside the home unless there is pressing Iinancial need due to the lack oI a relative or spouse to
maintain her honourably, or her community needs her to work in a specialised area such as beIits her
Ieminine nature and will not compromise her honour or religion.
Islm has made it obligatory Ior a man to spend on his Iamily, and has given him the responsibility oI
earning the costs oI living, so that his wiIe may devote herselI to being a wiIe and mother, creating a
joyIul and pleasant atmosphere in the home and organising and running its aIIairs.
This is the Islmic view oI woman and the Iamily, and this is the Islmic philosophy oI marriage and
Iamily liIe.
The Western philosophy oI women`s role, the home, the Iamily and children is based on the opposite oI
this. When a girl reaches a certain age - usually seventeen years old - neither her Iather, her brother nor any oI
her male relatives are obliged to support her. She has to look Ior work to support herselI, and to save whatever
she can to oIIer to her Iuture husband. II she gets married, she has to help her husband with the expenses oI the
home and children. When she gets old, iI she is still able to earn, she must continue to work to earn a living,
even iI her children are rich.
No doubt the wise Muslim woman understands the huge diIIerence between the position oI the Muslim
woman and the position oI women in the West. The Muslim woman is honoured, protected, and
guaranteed a decent living; the Western woman works hard and is subjected to exhaustion and
humiliation, especially when she reaches old age.
Since the end oI the last century, Western thinkers have continually complained about the plight oI
Western women. They have warned their people about the impending collapse oI Western civilization,
due to women`s going out to work, the disintegration oI the Iamily and the neglect oI the children.
The great Islmic da Dr. MustaIa al-Sib, may Allh have mercy on him, collected a number oI
comments by Western thinkers in his book Al-marah bavna al-fiqh wal-qnn (Woman between fiqh
and law). These comments reIlect the severe anger and deep anguish Ielt by those thinkers when they see
how low the position oI women in the West has become. We will look here at a Iew oI these comments
that give a vivid impression oI the state oI women in the West.
The Erench economic philosopher Jules Simon said: 'Women have started to work in textile Iactories
and printing presses, etc.. The government is employing them in Iactories, where they may earn a Iew
Irancs. But on the other hand, this has utterly destroyed the bases oI Iamily liIe. Yes, the husband may
beneIit Irom his wiIe`s earnings, but apart Irom that, his earnings have decreased because now she is
competing with him Ior work.
667 Fat al-Br, 9/219, Kitb al-nik, bb al-shurt allati la tukhall fil-nik.
668 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 13/60, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, bb vuhibb li-akhih ma vuhibb linafsih.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
175
He also commented: 'There are other, higher-class women, who work as book-keepers or store-
keepers, or who are employed by the government in the Iield oI education. Many oI them work Ior the
telegraph service, the post oIIice, the railways or the Bank oI Erance, but these positions are taking them
away Irom their Iamilies completely.669
'A woman must remain a woman, because with this quality she can Iind happiness or bring it to others.
Let us reIorm the position oI women, but let us not change them. Let us beware oI turning them into men,
because that would make them lose much, and we would lose everything. Nature 670 has done everything
perIectly, so let us study it and try to improve it, and let us beware oI anything that could take us away Irom
its laws.671
The Iamous English writer Anna Ward said: 'It is better Ior our daughters to work as servants in
houses or like servants at home. This is better, and less disastrous than letting them work in Iactories,
where a girl becomes dirty and her liIe is destroyed. I wish that our country was like the lands oI the
Muslims, where modesty, chastity and purity are like a garment. Servants and slaves there live the best
liIe, where they are treated like the children oI the house and no-one harms their honour. Yes, it is a
source oI shame Ior England that we make our daughters examples oI promiscuity by mixing so much
with men. Why do we not try to pursue that which makes a girl do work that agrees with her natural
temperament, by staying at home, and leaving men`s work Ior the men, to keep her honour saIe.672
The Western woman envies the Muslim woman, and wishes that she could have some oI the rights,
honour, protection and stability that the Muslim woman enjoys. There are many prooIs oI this, some oI
which have been quoted above (see p 86 oI origin). Another example is the comment oI an Italian student
oI law at OxIord University, aIter she had heard something oI the rights oI women in Islm and how
Islm gave women all kinds oI respect by sparing her the obligation to earn a living so that she may
devote herselI to caring Ior her husband and Iamily. This Italian girl said: 'I envy the Muslim woman,
and wish that I had been born in your country.673
This reality sunk into the minds oI the leaders oI the women`s movement in the Arab world, especially
those who were reasonable and Iair. Salma al-HaIIar al-Kazbari, who visited Europe and America more
than once, commented in the Damascus newspaper Al-Avvm (September 3, 1962), in response to ProIessor
ShaIiq Jabri`s remarks on the misery oI the American woman in his book Ar al-sir (The land oI magic):
'The well-travelled scholar noted, Ior example, that the Americans teach their children Irom a very
early age to love machines and heroism in their games. He also remarked that the women have started to
do men`s work, in car Iactories and street-cleaning, and he Ielt sorry Ior the misery oI the woman who
spends her youth and her liIe doing something that does not suit her Ieminine nature and attitude. What
ProIessor Jbri has to say made me Ieel happy, because I came back Irom my own trip to the United
States Iive years ago, Ieeling sorry Ior the plight oI women to which they have been drawn by the currents
oI blind equality. I Ielt sorry Ior their struggle to earn a living, Ior they have even lost their Ireedom, that
absolute Ireedom Ior which they strive Ior so long. Now they have become prisoners oI machines and oI
time. It is too diIIicult to go back now, and unIortunately it is true that women have lost the dearest and
best things granted to them by nature, by which I mean their Iemininity, and their happiness. Continuous,
exhausting work has caused them to lose the small paradise, which is the natural reIuge oI men and
women alike. Children cannot grow and Ilourish without the presence oI a woman who stays at home
with them. It is in the home and in the bosom oI the Iamily that the happiness oI society and individuals
rests; the Iamily is the source oI inspiration, goodness and genius.
Throwing women into the battleIield oI work, where they must compete with men to take their place
or share their positions, when there is no need to do so and the interests oI society as a whole do not
require it, is indeed a grave mistake. It is a great loss that nations and peoples suIIer Irom at times oI
decline, tribulation and error. The Muslim woman who is guided by the Qur`n and Sunnah does not
669 Al-marah bavna al-fiqh wal-qnn, 176.
670 This is an atheistic Western expression, which reIers to 'nature instead oI Allh the Creator, aIter the West turned its back on religion.
|Author|
671 Al-marah bavna al-fiqh wal-qnun, 178.
672 Al-marah bavna al-fiqh wal-qnn, 179.
673 Al-marah bavna al-fiqh wal-qnn, 181.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
176
accept to be thrown into that battleIield, and reIuses to become some cheap commodity that is Iought over
by the greedy capitalists, or some gaudy doll whose company is enjoyed by immoral so-called men. She
rejects, with Iierce pride, that Ialse 'progress that calls Ior women to come out uncovered, almost naked
and adorned with make up, to work alongside men in oIIices. With this wise, balanced, honourable
attitude, she is in Iact doing a great service to her society and nation, by calling Ior an end to this
ridiculous competition oI women with men in the workplace, and the resulting corruption, neglect oI the
Iamily, and waste oI money. This is the best good deed a woman can do, as was reIlected by the
comments oI the ruler oI North Korea to the Women`s Union conIerence held in his country in 1981:
'We make women enter society, but the reason Ior that is deIinitely not a lack oI workers. Erankly
speaking, the burden borne now by the state because oI women`s going out is greater than any beneIits
that may result Irom women`s going out to work.. So why do we want women to go out and be active in
society? Because the main aim is to make women become revolutionary, so that they will become part oI
the working class through their social activity. Our party encourages women to go out and be active in
revolutionising women and making them part oI the working class, no matter how great a burden this
places on the state.
No doubt the truly-guided Muslim woman knows exactly where she stands when she realises the great
diIIerence between the laws oI Islm and the laws oI fhilivvah. So she chooses the laws oI Allh (,),
and does not pay any attention to the nonsense calls oI fhilivvah that come Irom here and there every so
oIten:
Dc Ihey Ihen :eek c jucgemenI cf |Ihe Dcy: cf] lgncrcnce? 8uI whc, fcr c pecp|e whc:e fciIh i:
c::urec, ccn give LeIIer jucgemenI Ihcn /||h? (Qur`n 5: 50)
She oes Not Imitute Men
The Muslim woman who is proud oI her Islmic identity does not imitate men at all, because she
knows that Ior a woman to imitate men, or a man to imitate women, is Iorbidden by Islm. The wisdom
and eternal law oI Allh (,) dictate that men have a character distinct Irom that oI women, and vice
versa. This distinction is essential Ior both sexes, because each oI them has its own unique role to play in
liIe. The distinction between the basic Iunctions and roles oI each sex is based on the diIIerences in
character between them; in other words, men and women have diIIerent characters and personalities.
Islm put things in order when it deIined the role in liIe oI both men and women, and directed each to
do that Ior which they were created. Going against this divinely-ordained deIinition is a rebellion against
the laws oI nature according to which Allh (,) created man, and is a distortion oI the sound, original
nature oI man. This is surely abhorrent to both sexes, and nothing is more indicative oI this than the Iact
that women despise those eIIeminate men who imitate women, and men despise those coarse, rough
women who act like men. The universe cannot be cultivated and populated properly, and humanity cannot
achieve true happiness, unless the sexes are clearly diIIerentiated, so that each may appreciate and enjoy
the unique character oI the other, and both may work together to achieve those aims.
Eor all these reasons, Islmic teachings issue a severe and clear warning to men who imitate women
and women who imitate men.
Ibn Abbs (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) cur:ec Ihe men whc ccI |ike wcmen cnc Ihe wcmen whc ccI |ike men."
674
In another report, Ibn Abbs said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) cur:ec men whc ccI effemincIe cnc wcmen whc ccI |ike men, cnc :cic, 'Expe| Ihem
frcm ycur hcu:e:. Ihe FrcpheI {7) expe||ec Sc-cnc-:c |c mcn], cnc /L 8ckr expe||ec Sc-cnc-:c |c
wcmcn]." 675
Ab Hurayrah (W) said:
674 See Fat al-Br, 10/332, Kitb al-libs, bb al-mutashabbihin bil-nisa wal-mutashabbihat bil-rifl.
675 See Fat al-Br, 10/333, Kitb al-libs, bb ikhraf al-mutashabbihin bil-nisa min al-buvt.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
177
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) cur:ec Ihe mcn whc cre::e: |ike c wcmcn cnc Ihe wcmcn whc cre::e: |ike
c mcn." 676
When the Muslims were in good shape, governed by the sharah oI Allh (,) and guided by the light
oI Islm, there was no trace oI this problem oI men and women resembling one another. But nowadays,
when the light oI Islm has dimmed in our societies, we Iind many young girls wearing tight, body-
hugging trousers and unisex shirts, with uncovered heads and arms, who look like young men; and we
Iind eIIeminate men, wearing chains oI gold around their necks that dangle on their bare chests, and with
long Ilowing hair that makes them look like young women. It is very diIIicult to tell the diIIerence
between them.
These shameIul scenes, that may be seen in some Islmic countries that have been overcome by Al-
gha:wu al-fikr (intellectual colonialism) and whose youth are spiritually deIeated, are alien to the Islmic
ummah and its values and customs. They have come to us Irom both the corrupt West and Iaithless East,
which have been overwhelmed by waves oI hippies, existentialism, Irivolity and nihilism, and other
deviant ideas that have misguided humanity and caused great suIIering, as they have led people Iar away
Irom their true, sound nature (firah) and distorted them, bringing the worst problems and diseases to
those people as a result.
We have also suIIered Irom the Iall-out oI all this, which overtook the lives oI men and women who
deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,) in some Muslim countries aIter the collapse oI the khilfah and
the disintegration oI the ummah. Many Islmic values were lost, and these deviant men and women
became alienated Irom the ummah, rebelling against its true, original values and distinct character.
She Culls People to the Truth
The true Muslim woman understands that mankind was not created in vain, but was created to IulIil a
purpose, which is to worship Allh (,):
l hcve cn|y crecIec J|nn: cnc men, IhcI Ihey mcy :erve Me. (Qur`n 51: 56)
Worshipping Allh (,) may be done through any positive, constructive action undertaken to cultivate
and populate the world, to make the word oI Allh (,) supreme on earth, and to apply His laws in liIe.
All oI these constitute part oI that truth to which Muslim men and women are required to call people.
Hence the true Muslim woman is aware oI her duty to call as many other women as possible to the
truth in which she believes, seeking thereby the great reward which Allh (,) has promised those who
sincerely call others to the truth, as the Prophet (7) said to Al (W):
8y /||h {,), if /||h {,) were Ic guice ju:I cne mcn Ihrcugh ycu iI wcu|c Le LeIIer fcr ycu Ihcnrec
ccme|:." 677
A good word which the Muslim woman says to other women who are careless about matters oI
religion, or to a woman who has deviated Irom the guidance oI Allh (,), will have an eIIect on them,
and will come back to the sister who calls others to Allh (,) with a great reward that is worth more than
red camels, which were the most precious and sought-aIter wealth among the Arabs at that time. In
addition, a reward like that oI the ones who are guided at her hands will also be given to her, as the
Prophet (7) said:
Whcever cc||: pecp|e Ic Ihe IruIh wi|| hcve c rewcrc |ike IhcI cf Ihc:e whc fc||cw him, wiIhcuI iI
ceIrccIing in Ihe |ec:I frcm Iheir rewcrc." 678
The Muslim woman does not think little oI whatever knowledge she has iI she is calling other women
to Allh (,). It is suIIicient Ior her to convey whatever knowledge she has learned, or heard Irom other
peoples` preaching, even iI it is just one vah Irom the Book oI Allh (,). This is what the Prophet (7)
676 A a adth narrated by Ab Dwd, 4/86, Kitb al-libs, 31; Ibn pibbn (13) 63, Kitb al-hi:r wal-ibahah, bb al-lan.
677 Fat al-Br, 7/476, Kitb al-magha:i, bab gha:wah Khavbar.
678 6a Muslim, 16/227, Kitb al-ilm, bb man sanna sunnah asanah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
178
used to tell his Companions to do: Ccnvey {kncw|ecge) frcm me even if iI i: ju:I cne ycn " 679
This is because whether or not a person is guided may depend on just one word oI this vah which may
touch her heart and ignite the spark oI Iaith, so that her heart and her liIe will be illuminated with the light
oI guidance.
The Muslim woman who is calling others to Allh (,) does not spare any eIIort in calling other
women to the truth - and how great is the need Ior this call in these times - seeking the pleasure oI Allh
(,) and spreading awareness among those women who were not Iortunate enough to receive this teaching
and guidance previously, and thus proving that she likes Ior her sister what she likes Ior herselI. These are
the characteristics oI the woman who calls others to Allh (,), that distinguish her Irom ordinary women.
They are noble, worthy characteristics that were highly praised and encouraged by the Prophet (7):
Mcy /||h {,) mcke hi: fcce :hine, Ihe cne whc hecr: :cmeIhing frcm u: cnc ccnvey: iI c: he hecr: iI,
fcr perhcp: Ihe cne Ic whcm iI i: ccnveyec wi|| uncer:Icnc iI LeIIer Ihcn Ihe cne whc ccnveyec iI."680
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by the Qur`n and Sunnah is like a lighted lamp that shows
travellers the way on the darkest night. She cannot conceal her light Irom her sisters who are stumbling in
the darkness when she has seen the great reward that Allh (,) has prepared Ior true, sincere callers to
the truth.
She Lnjoins Whut is Good und Iorbids Whut is Lvil
The duty oI enjoining what is good and Iorbidding what is evil (Al-amr bil-marf wal-nahvi an al-
munkar) is not conIined only to men; it applies equally to men and women, as is stated in the Qur`n:
Ihe 8e|iever:, men cnc wcmen, cre prcIecIcr:, cne cf cncIher: Ihey enjcin whcI i: ju:I, cnc fcrLic
whcI i: evi|: Ihey cL:erve regu|cr prcyer:, prccIice regu|cr chcriIy, cnc cLey /||h cnc Hi:
Me::enger. Cn Ihem wi|| /||h pcur Hi: Mercy: fcr /||h i: Exc|Iec in Fcwer, Wi:e. (Qur`n 9: 71)
Islm gave women a high social standing when it gave her this great social responsibility oI enjoining
what is good and Iorbidding what is evil. Eor the Iirst time in history, women were to be the ones issuing
instructions, whereas everywhere else except in Islm they had been the ones to receive instructions
In response to this responsibility, which in Iact is a great honour, the Muslim woman rises up to carry
out the duty oI enjoining what is good and Iorbidding what is evil, within the limits oI what suits her
Ieminine nature. Within the limits oI her own specialised Iield, she conIronts evil - which is no small
matter in the world oI women - whenever she sees it, and she opposes it with reason, deliberation,
wisdom and a clever, good approach. She tries to remove it with her hand, iI she is able to and iI doing so
will not lead to worse consequences. II she cannot remove it by her actions, then she speaks out to explain
what is right, and iI she is not able to do so, then she opposes it in her heart, and starts to think oI ways
and means oI opposing and eradicating it. These are the means oI opposing evil that were set out by the
Prophet (7):
Whcever cf ycu :ee: cn evi| ccIicn, |eI him chcnge iI wiIh hi: hcnc, cnc if he i: ncI cL|e Ic cc :c, Ihen
wiIh hi: Icngue, cnc if he i: ncI cL|e Ic cc :c, Ihen wiIh hi: hecrI - cnc IhcI i: Ihe wecke:I cf fciIh." 681
When the alert Muslim woman undertakes this duty oI enjoining what is good and Iorbidding what is
evil, she is in eIIect being sincere towards her wayward or negligent Muslim sisters, Ior religion is
sincerity (or sincere advice), as the Prophet (7) explained most eloquently when he summed up Islm in
one word: naah. II that is indeed the case, then the Muslim woman has no option but to enjoin what is
good and Iorbid what is wrong, in order to IulIil the deIinition oI sincerity as stated by the Prophet (7):
Fe|igicn i: :inceriIy {nccn)." We c:kec, Ic whcm?" He :cic, Ic /|| h {,), Ic Hi: 8cck, Ic Hi:
Me::enger, cnc Ic Ihe |eccer: cf Ihe Mu:|im: cnc Iheir ccmmcn fc|k."682
679 Fat al-Br, 6/496, Kitb adth al-anbiv, bb ma dhukira an Ban Isril.
680 Reported by Tirmidh, 5/34, in Kitb al-ilm, 7; he said it is a asan a adth.
681 6a Muslim, 2/22, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn kawn al-nahv an al-munkar min al-mn.
682 6a Muslim, 2/37, Kitb al-mn, bb bavn an al-din naah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
179
The Muslim woman`s speaking out to oIIer naah and to enjoin what is good and Iorbid what is evil
in women`s circles will lead to the correction oI many non-Islmic customs, traditions and habits that are
prevalent among some women. How many such practices there are among women who neglect or deviate
Irom Islm; the Muslim woman who conIronts these customs and explains the correct Islmic point oI
view is doing the best thing she can Ior her society and ummah, and she is one oI the best oI people:
/ mcn :Iccc up whi|:I Ihe FrcpheI {7) wc: cn Ihe n|ncc cnc c:kec: C Me::enger cf /||h, which cf
Ihe pecp|e i: Ihe Le:I?" He :cic, Ihe Le:I cf Ihe pecp|e cre Ihc:e cre mc:I we|| -ver:ec in Curn, Ihc:e
whc cre mc:I picu:, Ihc:e whc mc:I enjcin whcI i: gccc cnc fcrLic whcI i: evi|, cnc Ihc:e whc cre mc:I
re:pecIfu| Icwcrc: Iheir re|cIive:." 683
The alert Muslim woman is a woman with a mission. She never remains silent about Ialsehood or Iails
to uphold the truth or accepts any deviation. She always strives to beneIit her sisters in the Muslim
community, and save them Irom their own shortcomings, backwardness, ignorance and deviations. She
undertakes her duty oI enjoining what is good and Iorbidding what is evil, in obedience to the command
oI Allh (,) and His Messenger, and to protect herselI Irom the punishment oI Allh (,) which beIalls
those societies where no voice is raised to enjoin what is good and Iorbid what is evil.
When /L 8ckr {W) Leccme Ihe knc'|cn, he c:cencec Ihe n|ncc, prci:ec /||h {,), Ihen :cic, C
pecp|e, ycu reciIe Ihe ycn, 'C ycu whc Le|ievel Gucrc ycur cwn :cu|:: if ycu fc||cw |righI]
guiccnce nc hurI ccn ccme Ic ycu frcm Ihc:e whc :Ircy. (Qur`n 5: 105) cnc ycu cre
mi:inIerpreIing iI. Veri|y l hecrc Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cy: 'Ihc:e pecp|e whc :ee :cme evi| cnc cc ncI
cppc:e iI cr :eek chcnge wi|| :hcrI|y c|| Le puni:hec Ly /|| h {,)." 684
The Muslim woman who is sincere in her Islm, whose Iaith is strong and whose mind is open to the
guidance oI Islm, is always active in the cause oI goodness, enjoining what is good and Iorbidding what
is evil, oIIering sincere advice and reIorming corrupt situations. She does not accept negativity,
passiveness, negligence or vacillation in herselI, and never accepts any compromise or deviance in
matters oI Islm and its rituals. Religion and aqdah are serious matters; it is no joke, and it is not
permitted to remain silent about any deviance or error in religious matters, otherwise we will end up like
the Jews, who earned Allh`s wrath when they vacillated and became careless with regard to their
religion:
/mcng Ihe pecp|e whc ccme Lefcre ycu, Ihe chi|cren cf l:rce|, if cny cne cf Ihem cic wrcng, cne cf
Ihem wcu|c cencunce him :c IhcI he ccu|c :cy IhcI he hcc ccne hi: cuIy, LuI Ihe nexI ccy he wcu|c :iI
cnc ecI wiIh him c: if he hcc never :een him cc cnyIhing wrcng Ihe ccy Lefcre. When /|| h {,) :cw Ihi:
cIIiIuce cf Iheir:, he Iurnec Ihe hecrI: cf :cme cf Ihem cgcin:I cIher: cnc cur:ec Ihem Ly Ihe Icngue cf
Dwc cnc 'Ee:c iLn Mcrycm, Leccu:e Ihey ci:cLeyec cnc per:i:Iec in exce::e: |cf. Cur n 5:78]. 8y Ihe
Cne in Whc:e hcnc i: my :cu|, ycu mu:I enjcin whcI i: gccc cnc fcrLic whcI i: evi|, cnc ycu mu:I re:Ircin
Ihe hcnc cf Ihe wrcngccer cnc give him c :Iern wcrning Ic cchere Ic Ihe IruIh, cIherwi:e /|| h {,) wi||
:ure|y Iurn Ihe hecrI: cf :cme cf ycu cgcin:I cIher:, cnc cur:e ycu c: He hc: cur:ec Ihem." 685
She is Wise und Lloquent in her 'ZDK
The Muslim woman who seeks to call others to Allh (,) is eloquent and clever in her dwah,
speaking wisely and without being pushy to those whom she calls, and taking into account their
intellectual levels and social positions. With this wise and good preaching, she is able to reach their hearts
and minds, just as the Qur`n advises:
lnviIe |c||] Ic Ihe Wcy cf ycur Fccc wiIh wi:ccm cnc LecuIifu| precching. (Qur`n 16: 125)
The sister who is calling others is careIul not to be long-winded or boring, and she avoids over-
burdening her audience. She does not speak Ior too long, or discuss matters that are diIIicult to
683 Reported by Amad and A-abarn; the men oI their isnds are thiqt. See Mafm al-Zawid, 7/263, Bb fi ahl al-maruf wa ahl al-
munkar.
684 pavt al-6abah, 3/233.
685 Reported by A-abarn, 10/146; the men oI its isnd are rifl al-a.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
180
understand. She introduces the idea that she wants to convey in a brieI and clear Iashion, using attractive
and interesting methods, and presenting the inIormation in stages, so that her audience will understand it
easily and will be eager to put their new knowledge into practice. This is what the Prophet (7) used to
do in his own preaching, as the great 6ab Abdullh ibn Masd (W) tells us. He used to preach a little
at a time to the people, every Thursday. A man said to him, 'I wish that you would teach us every day.
He said, 'What prevents me Irom doing so is the Iact that I would hate to bore you. I show consideration
towards you by choosing a suitable time to teach you, just as the Prophet (7) used to do with us, Ior Iear
oI making us bored.686
One oI the most important qualities oI the wise and eloquent divah is that she is gentle with the
women she is calling. She is patient with the slowness or inability to understand on the part oI some oI
them, their ignorance oI many matters oI religion, their repeated mistakes and their many tedious
questions, Iollowing the example oI the master oI all those men and women who call others to the way oI
Allh (,) - the Prophet (7) - who was the supreme example oI patience, kindness and open-
heartedness. He responded to questioners like a tolerant, caring guide and gently-correcting teacher, never
Irustrated by their slowness to understand, or irritated by their many questions and the need to repeat the
same answers many times until they understood and leIt him, content with the lesson they had learned.
An example oI this gentle approach is the account oI the 6ab Muwiyah ibn al-pakam al-Sulm
(W), who said:
Whi|:I l wc: prcying wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7), cne cf Ihe men in Ihe ccngregcIicn :neezec, :c l :cic,
'Yccnuk A''n {mcy /||h hcve mercy cn ycu). Ihe pecp|e g|crec cI me, :c l :cic, 'Mcy my mcIher Le
LerefI cf mel WhcI cre ycu :Icring cI me |ike IhcI fcr? Ihey Legcn Ic :Irike Iheir Ihigh: wiIh Iheir hcnc:,
cnc when l rec|i:ec IhcI Ihey were Ie||ing me Ic Le uieI, l fe|| :i|enI. Ihe FrcpheI { 7), mcy my fcIher cnc
mcIher Le :ccrificec fcr him, fini:hec Ihe prcyer, cnc l hcve never :een c LeIIer Ieccher Ihcn he, Lefcre cr
:ince. 8y /||h {,), he cic ncI reLuke me cr :Irike me cr in:u|I me. He mere|y :cic, 'Ihi: prcyer :hcu|c ccnIcin
ncIhing cf Ihe everyccy :peech cf men: iI i: ju:I tc:c, tckc cnc Ihe reciIcIicn cf Curn, cr wcrc: Ic IhcI
effecI. l :cic, 'C Me::enger cf /|| h, l cm :Ii|| very c|c:e Ic Ihe Iime cf n|'|yycn {i.e., l cm very new in l:|m).
/||h {,) hc: LrcughI u: l:|m, yeI Ihere cre :cme cmcng u: whc :Ii|| gc Ic :ccIh:cyer:. He :cic, 'Never gc
Ic Ihem. l :cic, '/nc Ihere cre :cme whc cre :uper:IiIicu:. He :cic, 'IhcI i: ju:I :cmeIhing IhcI Ihey
imcgine: iI :hcu|c ncI :Icp Ihem frcm gcing checc wiIh Iheir p|cn:." 687
Another characteristic oI the successIul divah, and one oI the most attractive and inIluential methods
she can use, is that she does not directly conIront wrongdoers with their deeds, or those who are Iailing
with their shortcomings. Rather she is gentle in her approach when she addresses them, hinting at their
wrongdoing or shortcomings indirectly rather than stating them bluntly, and asking them, gently and
wisely, to rid themselves oI whatever bad deeds or Iailings they have. She is careIul not to hurt their
Ieelings or put them oII her dwah. This wise, gentle approach is more eIIective in treating social ills and
moral and psychological complaints, and it is the method Iollowed by the Prophet (7), as bishah (May
Allh be pleased with her) said:
When Ihe FrcpheI {7) hecrc IhcI :cmecne hcc ccne :cmeIhing wrcng, he cic ncI :cy 'WhcI i: wrcng
wiIh :c-cnc-:c IhcI he :cy: {:uch-cnc-:uch)? FcIher, he wcu|c :cy, 'WhcI i: wrcng wiIh :cme pecp|e
IhcI Ihey :cy :uch-cnc-:uch?." 688
Another important Ieature oI the divah, that will guarantee her success, is that she speaks clearly to
her audience and repeats her words without boring them until she is certain that they have understood and
that her words have reached their hearts. This is what the Prophet (7) used to do, as Anas (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) u:ec Ic repecI Ihing: Ihree Iime: when he :pcke, :c IhcI Ihey wcu|c Le uncer:Iccc.
When he ccme Ic c pecp|e, he wcu|c greeI Ihem wiIh :c'n Ihree Iime:." 689
686 Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6aln, 374, Kitb al-adb, bb fil-wa: wal-iqtisd fih..
687 6a Muslim, 5/20, Kitb al-masfd, bb tarm al-kalm fil-alh.
688 pavt al-6abah, 3/129.
689 Fat al-Br, 1/188, Kitb al-ilm, bb man aada al-adth thalthan li vufham anhu.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
181
bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) said:
Ihe :peech cf Ihe FrcpheI wc: very c|ecr. Everycne whc hecrc iI uncer:Iccc iI."690
She Mixes With Righteous Women
In her social liIe, the Muslim woman seeks to make Iriends with righteous women, so that they will be
close Iriends and sisters to her, and she will be able to co-operate with them in righteousness, taqw and
good deeds, and in guiding and teaching other women who may have little awareness oI Islm. Mixing
with righteous women always brings goodness, beneIits and a great reward, and deepens women`s sound
understanding oI Islm. Eor this reason it was encouraged in the Qur`n:
/nc keep ycur :cu| ccnIenI wiIh Ihc:e whc cc|| cn Iheir Fccc mcrning cnc evening, :eeking Hi:
Fcce, cnc |eI ncI ycur eye: pc:: Leycnc Ihem, :eeking Ihe pcmp cnc g|iIIer cf Ihi: Life: ncr cLey
cny whc:e hecrI We hcve permiIIec Ic neg|ecI Ihe rememLrcnce cf U:, cne whc fc||cw: hi: cwn
ce:ire:, whc:e cc:e hc: gcne Leycnc c|| Lcunc:. (Qur`n 18: 28)
The true Muslim woman only makes Iriends with noble, virtuous, righteous, pious women, as the poet
said: 'Mixing with people oI noble character, you will be counted as one oI them, So do not take anyone
else Ior a Iriend.
The true Muslim woman does not Iind it diIIicult to mix with righteous women, even iI they are
apparently below her own socio-economic level. What really counts is a woman`s essential personality,
not her physical appearance or wealth. Msa (X), the Prophet oI Allh, Iollowed the righteous servant so
that he might learn Irom him, saying with all good manners and respect:
Mcy l fc||cw ycu cn Ihe fccIing IhcI ycu Iecch me :cmeIhing cf Ihe |Higher] IruIh which ycu hcve
Leen IcughI? (Qur`n 18: 66)
When the righteous slave answered:
Veri|y, ycu wi|| ncI Le cL|e Ic hcve pcIience wiIh mel (Qur`n 18: 67)
Msa (X) said, with all politeness and respect:
Ycu wi|| finc me, if /||h :c wi||:, |Iru|y] pcIienI: ncr :hc|| l ci:cLey ycu in cughI. (Qur`n 18: 69)
When choosing Iriends Irom among the righteous women, the Muslim woman does not Iorget that
people are like metals, some oI which are precious while others are base, as the Prophet (7) explained
when describing diIIerent types oI people:
Fecp|e cre meIc|: |ike gc|c cnc :i|ver. Ihe Le:I cf Ihem cI Ihe Iime cf Jn|'|yycn wi|| Le Ihe Le:I cf Ihem
in l:|m, if Ihey Iru|y uncer:Icnc. Scu|:cre |ike ccn:cripIec :c|cier:: if Ihey reccgni:e cne cncIher, Ihey wi||
Leccme frienc:, cnc if Ihey ci:|ike cne cncIher, Ihey wi|| gc Iheir :epcrcIe wcy:."691
The Muslim woman also knows Irom the teachings oI her religion that Iriends are oI two types: the
righteous Iriend and the bad Iriend. The good Iriend is like the bearer oI musk: when she sits with her,
there is an atmosphere oI relaxation, generosity, perIume and happiness. The bad Iriend is like the one
who operates the bellows: when one sits with her, there is the heat oI Ilames, smoke, stench and an
atmosphere oI gloom. The Prophet (7) gave the best analogy oI this:
Ihe gccc ccmpcnicn cnc Ihe Lcc ccmpcnicn cre |ike Ihe Lecrer cf mu:k cnc Ihe cne whc pump: Ihe
Le||cw:. WiIh Ihe Lecrer cf mu:k, eiIher he wi|| give ycu c :hcre, cr ycu wi|| Luy frcm him, cr ycu wi|| :me||
c p|ec:cnI :cenI frcm him: LuI wiIh Ihe cne whc pump: Ihe Le||cw:, eiIher he wi|| Lurn ycur c|cIhe: cr
ycu wi|| :me|| c fcu| :Iench frcm him." 692
690 Reported by Ab Dwd, 4/360, Kitb al-adb, 21; its isnd is a.
691 6a Muslim, 16/185, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb al-arwah fund mufannadah.
692 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 211, Bb :ivrat ahl al-khavr wa mafalisatihim.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
182
ThereIore the 6abah used to encourage one another to visit good people who would remind them oI
Allh (,) and Iill their hearts with Iear oI Allh (,), religious teaching and respect. Anas (W) reported
the Iollowing incident:
/L 8ckr :cic Ic 'Umcr {W), cfIer Ihe FrcpheI {7) hcc ciec, 'LeI u: gc cnc vi:iI Umm /ymcn 693 c: Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) u:ec Ic cc. When Ihey recchec her, :he wepI, :c Ihey c:kec her, 'Why cc ycu
weep? WhcI i: wiIh /||h {,) i: LeIIer fcr Ihe FrcpheI {7) {Ihcn Ihi: wcr|c). She :cic, 'l cm ncI weeping
Leccu:e l cc ncI kncw IhcI whcI i: wiIh /|| h {,) i: LeIIer fcr Ihe FrcpheI {7). l cm weeping Leccu:e
Ihe Feve|cIicn frcm Hecven hc: cec:ec. She mcvec Ihem ceep|y wiIh Ihe:e wcrc:, cnc Ihey Legcn Ic
weep wiIh her." 694
The gatherings oI righteous women, where Allh (,) is remembered and the conversation is serious
and beneIicial, are surrounded by the angels and shaded by Allh (,) with His mercy. In such gatherings,
souls and minds are puriIied and reIreshed. It beIits righteous, believing women to increase their
attendance at such gatherings and beneIit Irom them, as this will do them good in this world and bring
them a high status in the HereaIter.
She Strives to Reconcile Between Muslim Women
The Muslim community is distinguished by the Iact that it is a community in which brotherhood
prevails, a society that is Iilled with love, communication, understanding, tolerance and purity. However,
it is still a human society, and as such it cannot be entirely Iree oI occasional disputes and conIlicts which
may arise among its members Irom time to time and lead to division and a breaking oI ties.
But these disputes, which emerge sometimes in the Muslim community, soon disappear, because oI the
divine guidance that the members oI this community have received, which reinIorces the Ieelings oI
brotherhood, love and closeness among them, and destroys the roots oI hatred and enmity, and because oI
the good eIIorts Ior reconciliation that Islm urges its Iollowers to make whenever there is a dispute
between close Iriends, where the Shavn has caused conIlict and division between them. We have seen
above how Islm Iorbids two disputing Muslims to Iorsake one another Ior more than three days:
lI i: ncI permiIIec fcr c Le|iever Ic fcr:cke cncIher fcr mcre Ihcn Ihree ccy:. lf Ihree ccy : hcve pc::ec,
|eI him meeI him cnc greeI him wiIh :c'n. lf he reIurn: Ihe greeIing, Ihen Ihey wi|| LcIh :hcre in Ihe
rewcrc, cnc if he cce: ncI reIurn Ihe greeIing, Ihen Ihe cne whc iniIicIec Ihe greeIing wi|| Le free cf
L|cme." 695
Islm also commands the Muslims, men and women, to reconcile between two conIlicting parties:
lf Iwc pcrIie: cmcng Ihe 8e|iever: fc|| inIc c ucrre|, mcke pecce LeIween Ihem: LuI if cne cf
Ihem Ircn:gre::e: Leycnc Lcunc: cgcin:I Ihe cIher, Ihen fighI |c|| cf ycu] cgcin:I Ihe cne IhcI
Ircn:gre::e: unIi| iI ccmp|ie:, Ihen mcke pecce LeIween Ihem wiIh ju:Iice, cnc Le fcir: fcr /||h
|cve: Ihc:e whc cre fcir |cnc ju:I]. (Qur`n 49: 9)
The society oI believing men and women should be governed by justice, love and brotherhood:
Ihe 8e|iever: cre LuI c :ing|e 8rcIherhccc: :c mcke pecce cnc reccnci|icIicn LeIween ycur Iwc
|ccnIencing] LrcIher:: cnc fecr /||h, IhcI ycu mcy receive Mercy. (Qur`n 49: 10)
ThereIore the Muslim woman is required to reconcile between her disputing sisters, Iollowing the
guidance oI Islm. Islm has permitted women to add words Ior the purpose oI bringing disputing parties
together and soItening stony hearts. Such comments are not considered to be the kinds oI lies that are
arm, and the one who says them is not regarded as a liar or a sinner. We Iind evidence oI this in the
adth oI Umm Kalthm bint Uqbah ibn Ab Muayt (May Allh be pleased with her), who said:
l hecrc Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :cy: 'He i: ncI c |icr whc reccnci|e: LeIween pecp|e Ly Ie||ing Ihem
693 Umm Ayman was the Prophet`s nursemaid during his childhood. When he grew up, he gave her, her Ireedom and married her to Zayd ibn
prithah. He used to honour her and treat her with kindness and respect, and say, 'Umm Ayman is my mother. |Author|
694 6a Muslim, 16/9, Kitb fadil al-6abah, bb fadil Umm Avman.
695 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bb inna al-salm vuf:i min al-awm.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
183
gccc new: cr :cying :cmeIhing gccc." 696
According to a report narrated by Muslim, she added:
l cic ncI hecr him permiI cnyIhing cf whcI pecp|e mighI :cy excepI in Ihree cc:e:." She mecnI: wcr,
reccnci|ing LeIween pecp|e, cnc Ihe :peech cf c mcn Ic hi: wife cr c wife Ic her hu:Lcnc.697
She Mixes With Other Women und Puts up With Their Insults
The active Muslim woman is a woman with a mission who has a message to deliver. Whoever
undertakes this important mission should prepare herselI to be patient and steadIast, and to make
sacriIices along the way.
The active Muslim woman has no other choice but to put up with the bad attitude and rude reactions oI
some women, their misinterpretation oI her aims, their mocking oI her call to adhere to the morals and
manners oI Islm, their shallow and conIused thinking, their slow response to the truth, their Iocus on
themselves and their own interests, their concern with Ioolish, trivial matters, their devotion to this world
and its pleasures, their Iailure to take the HereaIter into account or to Iollow the commandments oI Islm,
and other Ioolish things that may annoy the divahs and make them, in moments oI irritation and
Irustration, think oI isolating themselves and keeping away Irom people, and abandoning their work Ior
the sake oI Allh (,). This is what all those men and women who seek to call others to Allh (,) Iace in
every place and time.
Eor this reason the Prophet (7) sought to strengthen the resolve oI the believers and reassure them,
by announcing that those who have patience in treading the long and diIIicult path oI dwah are better,
according to the scale oI taqw and righteous deeds, than those who have no patience:
Ihe Le|iever whc mixe: wiIh pecp|e cnc Lecr: Iheir in:u|I: wiIh pcIience i: LeIIer Ihcn Ihe cne whc
cce: ncI mix wiIh pecp|e cr Lecr Iheir in:u|I: wiIh pcIience."698
The Prophet (7), and the other Prophets beIore him, represent the supreme example oI patience in
the Iace oI people`s misbehaviour, suspicions and Ioolishness. The di needs to hold Iast to this example
every time he Ieels his patience is running out, or that he is under stress and overwhelmed by the insults
and hostility oI people.
One example oI the Prophet`s supreme patience comes in a report given by Bukhr and Muslim. The
Prophet (7) divided some goods as he usually did, but one oI the Anr said, 'By Allh (,), this
division was not done Ior the sake oI Allh (,). The Prophet (7) heard these unjust words and was
deeply oIIended by them. His expression changed and he became angry, but then he said, 'Msa suIIered
worse insults than these, and he bore them with patience. With these Iew words, the Prophet`s anger was
dispelled and his noble, Iorgiving heart was soothed.
This is the attitude oI the Prophets and the sincere dis in every time and place: patience in the Iace oI
people`s insults, suspicions and rumours. Without this patience, the dwah could not continue and the
dis could not persevere.
The clever Muslim woman who calls others to Allh (,) is not lacking in intelligence; she is able to
understand the psychology, intellectual level and social position oI her audience, and she addresses each
type oI woman in the way that will be most appropriate and eIIective.
She Repuys Iuvours und is GruteIul Ior Them
One oI the characteristics oI the true Muslim woman is that she is IaithIul and loyal: she appreciates
Iavours and thanks the one who does them, Iollowing the command oI the Prophet (7): Whcever hc: c
gccc Iurn ccne Ic him :hcu|c reIurn Ihe fcvcur. " 699
696 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 687, Kitb al-umur al-munhi anha, bb bavn ma vaf: min al-kadhb.
697 6a Muslim, 16/157, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb tarm al-kadhb wa bavn ma vubah fih.
698 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/478, Bb alladhi vusbir ala adha al-ns.
699 A asan Javvid gharib adth narrated by Tirmidh, 4/380, Kitb al-birr wal-silah, 87.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
184
Whcever :eek: refuge wiIh /|| h {,), Ihen grcnI him prcIecIicn. cnc whcever cce: ycu c gccc Iurn,
Ihen reIurn Ihe fcvcur." 700
Eor the alert Muslim woman, gratitude Ior Iavours is a religious matter encouraged by the teachings oI
the Prophet (7). It is not merely the matter oI social courtesy dictated by mood or whatever interests
may be at stake. The one who does a Iavour deserves to be thanked, even iI no particular interest is served
by her deed. It is suIIicient that she has done a Iavour, and Ior this she deserves to be sincerely thanked.
This is what Islm expects oI Muslim men and women. One thanks the other person Ior her good
intentions and chivalrous motives, and Ior hastening to do good, regardless oI the actual or potential
outcome in terms oI one`s interests and desires.
The concern oI Islm to establish this attitude in the heart oI the Muslim reached the extent that gratitude
towards Allh (,) is deemed to be incomplete and imperIect without gratitude towards people Ior their
Iavours and good deeds. The one who does not thank people Ior their acts oI kindness or Iind a word to say
that will make them Ieel chivalrous, is an ungrateIul wretch who does not appreciate blessings or give
thanks Ior them. Such a one is not qualiIied to give thanks to Allh (,), the Giver oI all blessings and
Iavours. Concerning this the Prophet (7) said:
He cce: ncI give Ihcnk: Ic /|| h {,) whc cce: ncI give Ihcnk: Ic pecp|e." 701
The wise Muslim woman does not Iorget that thanking the one who has done a Iavour encourages
good deeds and makes people become accustomed to acknowledging and appreciating good deeds. All oI
this will strengthen the ties oI Iriendship between the members oI a community, open their hearts to love,
and motivate them to do good deeds. This is what Islm aims to instil and reinIorce in the Islmic society.
She Visits the Sick
Visiting the sick is one oI the Islmic social customs that was established and encouraged by the
Prophet (7), who made it a duty on every Muslim man and woman, and made it a right that one Muslim
may expect Irom another:
Ihe righI: cf c Mu:|im cver hi: LrcIher cre five: he :hcu|c reIurn hi: :c'n, vi:iI Ihe :ick, cIIenc funerc|:,
cccepI inviIcIicn:, cnc 'L|e:: c per:cn {Ly :cying yccnuk A''n) when he :neeze:."702
According to another report, the Prophet (7) said:
Ihe righI: cf Ihe Mu:|im cver hi: LrcIher cre :ix." lI wc: c:kec, WhcI cre Ihey?" Ihe FrcpheI { 7) :cic:
When ycu meeI him, greeI him wiIh :c'n: when he inviIe: ycu, cccepI hi: inviIcIicn: when he :eek:
ycur ccvice, ccvi:e him: when he :neeze: cnc :cy: A'-cncu-'|''n, 'L|e:: him {Ly :cying Yccnuk
A''n): when he i: i||, vi:iI him: cnc when he cie:, ccccmpcny him {Ic hi: grcve)."703
When the Muslim woman visits the sick, she does not Ieel that she is merely doing a Iavour or trying
to be nice; she Ieels that she is doing an Islmic duty that the Prophet (7) urged Muslims to do: Feec
Ihe hungry, vi:iI Ihe :ick, cnc rcn:cm Ihe pri:cner: cf wcr."704
Al-Barr` ibn bzib (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccmmcncec u: Ic vi:iI Ihe :ick, Ic cIIenc funerc|:, Ic 'L|e:: :cmecne when
he :neeze:, Ic fu|fi| c|| ccIh:, Ic ccme Ic Ihe cic cf Ihe cppre::ec, Ic cccepI inviIcIicn:, cnc Ic greeI
everycne wiIh :c'n." 705
When the Muslim woman visits the sick, she does not Ieel that this is a burdensome duty that could
depress her because oI the atmosphere oI gloom and despair that may surround the sick person. On the
contrary, she senses a Ieeling oI spiritual joy and satisIaction which none can Ieel except those who truly
700 Reported by Ab Dwd, 2/172, Kitb al-:akh; Amad, 2/68. Its isnd is a.
701 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad, 1/310, Bb man lam vashkur al-ns.
702 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 452, Bb ivdah al-mard.
703 6a Muslim, 14/143, Kitb al-salm, bb min aqq al-Muslim lil-Muslim radd al-salm.
704 Fat al-Br, 9/517, Kitb al-atimah, bb kulu min tavvibt ma ra:aqnkum.
705 Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 451, Kitb ivdah al-mard, bb ivdah al-mard.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
185
understand the adth which describes the goodness, reward and blessing contained in such visits. The
Prophet (7) said:
/||h {,) wi|| :cy cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn: 'C :cn cf bccm, l fe|| i|| cnc ycu cic ncI vi:iI Me. He wi|| :cy,
'C Fccc, hcw ccu|c l vi:iI Ycu when Ycu cre Ihe Fccc cf Ihe Wcr|c:? He wi|| :cy, 'Dic ycu ncI kncw IhcI
My :|cve :c-cnc-:c hcc fc||en i||, cnc ycu cic ncI vi:iI him? Dic ycu ncI kncw IhcI hcc ycu vi:iIec him,
ycu wcu|c hcve fcunc Me wiIh him? C :cn cf bccm, l c:kec ycu fcr fccc cnc ycu cic ncI feec Me. He
wi|| :cy, 'C Fccc, hcw ccu|c l feec ycu when Ycu cre Ihe Fccc cf Ihe Wcr|c:? He wi|| :cy, 'Dic ycu ncI
kncw IhcI My :|cve :c-cnc-:c c:kec ycu fcr fccc, cnc ycu cic ncI feec him? Dic ycu ncI kncw IhcI hcc
ycu fec him ycu wcu|c :ure|y hcve fcunc IhcI |i.e., Ihe rewcrc fcr ccing :c] wiIh Me? C :cn cf bccm, l
c:kec ycu Ic give Me Ic crink cnc ycu cic ncI give Me Ic crink. He wi|| :cy, 'C Fccc, hcw ccu|c l give
Ycu Ic crink when Ycu cre Ihe Fccc cf Ihe Wcr|c:? He wi|| :cy, 'My :|cve :c-cnc-:c c:kec ycu Ic give
him Ic crink cnc ycu cic ncI give him Ic crink. Hcc ycu given him Ic crink ycu wcu|c :ure|y hcve fcunc
IhcI wiIh him." 706
How blessed is such a visit, and how great a good deed, which a man undertakes to do Ior his sick
brother, when by doing so he is in the presence oI the Almighty Rabb who witnesses his noble deed and
rewards him generously Ior it. Is there any greater and more blessed visit which is honoured and blessed
and encouraged by the Rabb oI Heaven and Earth? How great is the misery and loss that will beIall the
one who Iailed in this duty! How great will be his humiliation when the Almighty Rabb declares, beIore
all present: 'O son oI bdam, I Iell ill and you did not visit Me. Did you not know that My slave so-and-
so had Iallen ill, and you did not visit him? Did you not know that had you visited him, you would have
Iound Me with him? We will leave to our imagination the sense oI regret, humiliation and shame that
will overwhelm the man who neglected to visit his sick brother, at the time when such regret will be oI no
avail.
The sick person in an Islmic community Ieels that he is not alone at his hour oI need; the empathy
and prayers oI the people around him envelop him and alleviate his suIIering. This is the pinnacle oI
human civility and emotion. No other nation in history has ever known such a level oI emotional and
social responsibility as exists in the ummah oI Islm.
The sick person in the West may Iind a hospital to admit him and a doctor to give him medicine, but
rarely will he Iind a healing touch, compassionate word, kindly smile, sincere prayers, or true empathy. The
materialistic philosophy that has taken over Westerners` lives has extinguished the light oI human emotion,
destroyed brotherly Ieelings towards one`s Iellow-man, and removed any motives but materialistic ones Ior
doing good deeds.
The Westerner does not have any motive to visit the sick, unless he Ieels that he may gain some
material beneIit Irom this visit sooner or later. In contrast, we Iind that the Muslim is motivated to visit
the sick in the hope oI earning the reward which Allh (,) has prepared Ior the one who gets his Ieet
dusty (i.e., goes out and about) Ior His sake.
There are many adth texts on this topic, which awaken Ieelings oI brotherhood in the Muslim`s heart
and strongly motivate him to visit his sick brother. Eor example:
When Ihe Mu:|im vi:iI: hi: {:ick) Mu:|im LrcIher, he wi|| remcin in Ihe fruiI: cf Fcrcci:e 707 unIi| he reIurn:."
708
Nc Mu:|im vi:iI: c {:ick) Mu:|im in Ihe mcrning LuI :evenIy Ihcu:cnc cnge|: wi|| L|e:: him unIi| Ihe
evening, cnc if he vi:iI: him in Ihe evening, :evenIy Ihcu:cnc cnge|: wi|| L|e:: him unIi| Ihe mcrning, cnc
fruiI: frcm Fcrcci:e wi|| Le hi:." 709
With his deep insight into human psychology, the Prophet (7) understood the positive impact oI such
visits on the sick person and his Iamily, so he never neglected to visit the sick and speak to them the
706 6a Muslim, 16/125, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl ivdah al-mard.
707 A metaphor Ior the reward earned |Translator|.
708 6a Muslim, 16/125, Kitb al-birr wal-silah wal-adb, bb fadl ivdah al-mard.
709 Reported by Tirmidh, 3/292, Kitb al-fani:, 2. He said it is a asan adth.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
186
kindest words oI prayer and consolation. He was the epitome oI such kindness, which led him to visit a
young Jewish boy who used to serve him, as Anas (W) narrated:
/ ycung Jewi:h Lcy u:ec Ic :erve Ihe FrcpheI {7). He fe|| i||, :c Ihe FrcpheI {7) wenI Ic vi:iI him. He
:cI Ly hi: hecc cnc Ic|c him, 'EnIer l:| m. Ihe Lcy |cckec Ic hi: fcIher, whc wc: pre:enI wiIh him. Hi:
fcIher :cic, 'CLey /Lu|-C:im. Sc Ihe Lcy enIerec l:|m. Ihe FrcpheI {7) |efI, :cying, 'Frci:e Le Ic
/||h, Whc hc: :cvec him frcm Ihe Fire." 710
When visiting this sick Jewish boy, the Prophet (7) did not neglect to call him to Islm, because he
knew the eIIects his visit would have on the boy and his Iather, who were overwhelmed by his generosity,
kindness and gentle approach. So they responded to him, this visit bore Iruits oI guidance, and the
Prophet (7) leIt praising Allh (,) that a soul had been saved Irom the Eire. What a great man, and
what a wise and eloquent di the Prophet (7) was!
The Prophet (7) was so concerned about visiting the sick that he set out principles and guidelines Ior
so doing, which were Iollowed by the 6abah and recorded in the books oI Sunnah.
One oI these practices is to sit at the head oI the sick person, as we have seen in the story oI the Jewish
boy, and as Ibn Abbs (W) said:
When Ihe FrcpheI {7) vi:iIec c :ick per:cn, he wcu|c :iI cI hi: hecc Ihen :cy :even Iime:: 'l c:k
/|mighIy /||h {,), Ihe Fccc cf Ihe MighIy Ihrcne, Ic hec| ycu." 711
Another oI these practices is to wipe the body oI the sick person with the right hand and pray Ior him,
as bishah (May Allh be pleased with her) reported:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) u:ec Ic vi:iI :cme cf hi: re|cIive: cnc wipe Ihem wiIh hi: righI hcnc, :cying 'C /|| h,
Fccc cf mcnkinc, remcve Ihe :uffering. Hec| fcr Ycu cre Ihe Hec|er. Ihere i: nc hec|ing excepI fcr Ycur
hec|ing, Ihe hec|ing which |ecve: nc Ircce cf:ickne::." 712
Ibn Abbs (W) said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) wenI Ic vi:iI c Leccuin whc wc: :ick, cnc whenever he vi:iIec c :ick per:cn, he wcu|c
:cy, 'Nc wcrry, {iI i:) purificcIicn 713, 'in :h /||h. 714 "
The Muslim woman whom Islm has Iilled with a sense oI great humanity hastens to visit the sick
whenever she hears news oI someone`s illness. She does not try to postpone or avoid such visits, because
she Ieels the importance oI them in the depths oI her heart, as the Prophet (7) described it and as the
virtuous early Muslim women put it into practice in the most praiseworthy Iashion. They did not only
visit women who were sick; they also visited men, within the Iramework oI modesty and avoiding fitnah.
ln 6c 8ukn, iI :IcIe: IhcI Umm c|-Dcrc vi:iIec cn An mcn whc |ivec in Ihe mc:ue {when he wc:
:ick).
The same source also gives the Iollowing account:
CuIcyLch Ic|c u:, frcm M|ik, frcm Hi:hm iLn 'Urwch, frcm hi: fcIher, frcm 'bi:hch whc :cic: 'When Ihe
Me::enger cf /||h {7) ccme Ic Mccnch, /L 8ckr cnc 8i||, mcy /||h Le p|ec:ec wiIh Ihem, fe|| i||. l
enIerec upcn Ihem cnc :cic, C my fcIher, hcw cre ycu fee|ing? C 8i| |, hcw cre ycu fee|ing?" 715 "
The earliest Muslim women understood the meaning oI visiting the sick and the role it plays in
maintaining the ties oI Iriendship, compassion and aIIection. So they hastened to perIorm this noble duty,
liIting the spirits oI the sick person, wiping away the tears oI the grieI-stricken, alleviating the burden oI
distress, strengthening the ties oI brotherhood, and consoling the distressed. The modern Muslim woman
could do well to Iollow the example oI the early Muslim women and revive this praiseworthy sunnah.
710 Fat al-Br, 3/219, Kitb al-fani:, bb hal vurad ala al-sabi al-Islm?
711 Reported by Bukhr in Al-Adb al-Mufrad,1/633, Bb avna vaqud al-aid.
712 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Rivd al-6alin, 454, Kitb ivdah al-mard, bb fima vadu bih lil-mard.
713 i.e., may your sickness be an expiation and cleanse you oI your sins |Author|.
714 Fat al-Br, 10/118.
715 Fat al-Br, 10/117, Kitb al-murd [?], bb ivdah al-nis al-rifl.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
187
She oes Not Wuil Over the eud
The Muslim woman who knows the teachings oI her religion has insight and is balanced and selI-
controlled. When she is stricken by the death oI one oI those whom she loves, she does not let grieI make
her lose her senses, as is the case with shallow, ignorant women who Iall apart with grieI. She bears it
with patience, hoping Ior reward Irom Allh (,), and Iollows the guidance oI Islm in her behaviour at
this diIIicult time.
She never wails over the deceased, because wailing is not an Islmic deed; it is the practice oI the
kuffr, and one oI the customs oI fhilivvah. The Prophet (7) was very explicit in his emphatic
prohibition oI wailing, to the extent that it was regarded as kufr:
Ihere cre Iwc uc|iIie: in pecp|e IhcI cre inciccIive cf ku|: cc:Iing ccuLI: cn c per:cn: |inecge, cnc
wci|ing cver Ihe cecc." 716
The Prophet (7) eIIectively excluded Irom the Muslim community those men and women who wail
and eulogise the dead when he said:
He i: ncI cne cf u: whc :Irike: hi: cheek:, cr Iecr: hi: gcrmenI, cr :peck: Ihe wcrc: cf n|'|yycn." 717
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings oI Islm knows that death is real, that everyone
on this earth is mortal and that this liIe is merely a corridor to the HereaIter, where eternally she will be in
the presence oI Allh (,). So there is no need Ior this uncontrollable grieI which makes a person become
unbalanced and lose her reason so that she starts to strike her own Iace and tear her clothes, screaming
with grieI and loss.
The 6abah understood this ruling oI Islm, even though they had only very recently leIt the
fhilivvah behind. They used to Iorbid themselves to eulogise the dead or raise their voices or scream or
tear their clothes, which were actions done by women at the time oI fhilivvah. They knew that Islm
does not accept the deeds oI fhilivvah and will not permit them to return Irom time to time, and they used
to condemn such actions just as the Prophet (7) did. Ab Burdah ibn Ab Msa said:
/L M:c :ufferec frcm :cme pcin, cnc fe|| inIc c ccmc. Hi: hecc wc: in Ihe |cp cf c wcmcn frcm hi:
fcmi|y. She :hcuIec cI him, LuI he wc: ncI cL|e Ic re:pcnc. When he ccme Ic, he :cic: 'l :hun whcIever
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) :hunnec, fcr he :hunnec every wcmcn whc rci:e: her vcice, cuI: her hcir
cnc Iecr: her c|cIhe: {cI Ihe Iime cf ci:c:Ier)." 718
Although Islm has Iorbidden senseless fhilivva actions like striking one`s cheeks, tearing one`s
garment, wailing and eulogising, it recognises the grieI that overwhelms the heart and the tears that soItly
Ilow at the departure oI a loved one. All oI this is part oI the legitimate human emotion and gentle
compassion that Allh (,) has instilled in people`s hearts, as was demonstrated by the Prophet (7) in
his words and deeds.
Usmah ibn Zayd said:
We were wiIh Ihe FrcpheI {7) when cne cf hi: ccughIer: :enI fcr him,cc||ing him Ic ccme cnc Ie||ing
him IhcI her Lcy - cr :cn - wc: cying. Ihe FrcpheI {7) :cic: 'Gc Lcck Ic her cnc Ie|| her IhcI whcIever
/||h {,) give: cnc Icke: Le|cng: Ic Him, cnc everyIhing hc: iI: cppcinIec Iime wiIh Him. Ie|| her Ic hcve
pcIience cnc Ic :eek rewcrc frcm /||h {,). Ihe cne whc ccnveyec Ihi: me::cge ccme Lcck cnc :cic:
'She :wcre IhcI ycu :hcu|c ccme Ic her. Ihe FrcpheI { 7) gcI up, c: cic 6c'c iLn 'ULccch cnc Mu'ch
iLn JcLc|, cnc l wenI wiIh Ihem. Ihe Lcy wc: |ifIec up Ic him, cnc hi : :cu| wc: mcking c :cunc |ike wcIer
Leing pcurec inIc cn empIy ccnIciner {i.e., Ihe cecIh-rcII|e). Ihe FrcpheI: eye: fi||ec wiIh Iecr:, cnc
6c'c :cic Ic him, 'WhcI i: Ihi:, C Me::enger cf /|| h? He :cic, 'Ihi: i: Ihe ccmpc::icn IhcI /|| h {,) hc:
p|ccec in Ihe hecrI: cf Hi: :|cve:, cnc /|| h {,) wi|| :hcw ccmpc::icn Ic Ihc:e cf Hi: :|cve: whc hcve
ccmpc::icn." 719
716 6a Muslim, 2/57, Kitb al-mn, bb itlq al-kufr ala al-taan fil-nasab wal-nivahah.
717 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 5/436, Kitb al-fani:, bb al-nahv an al-nivahah wal-nadb.
718 6a Muslim, 2/110, Kitb al-mn, bb tarm darab al-khudud wa shiqq al-fuvub.
719 6a Muslim, 6/224, 225, Kitb al-fani:, bb al-bika alal-mavvit.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
188
'AbduIII Ibn 'Umur (W) suId:
6cc iLn 'ULccch fe|| i|| wiIh :cme ccmp|cinI IhcI he :ufferec frcm, cnc Ihe FrcpheI { 7) ccme Ic vi:iI
him, ccccmpcniec Ly '/Lcu|-Fcmn iLn '/wf, 6c'c iLn /L Wc cnc '/Lcu||h iLn Mc:'c. When
he enIerec cnc fcunc him in c ccmc, he c:kec, 'Hc: he pc::ec cwcy? Ihey :cic, 'Nc, C Me::enger cf
/||h. Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) wepI, cnc when Ihe pecp|e :cw him weeping, Ihey wepI Icc. He :cic,
'/re ycu ncI |i:Iening? /||h {,) wi|| ncI puni:h c mcn fcr Ihe Iecr: IhcI fc|| frcm hi: eye: cr fcr Ihe grief
IhcI he fee|: in hi: hecrI, LuI He wi|| eiIher puni:h cr hcve mercy cn c mcn Leccu:e cf Ihi:, cnc he
pcinIec Ic hi: Icngue." 720
Anas (W) said:
Ihe Me::enger cf /||h {7) enIerec upcn hi: :cn lLrhm c: he wc: :urrencering hi: :cu| {i.e., cying).
Iecr: Legcn Ic we|| up in Ihe FrcpheI: eye:. '/Lcu| -Fcmn iLn '/wf :cic Ic him, 'Even ycu, C
Me::enger cf /||h? He :cic, 'C lLn '/wf, Ihi: i: ccmpc::icn. Ihen he wepI :cme mcre cnc :cic, 'Ihe
eye: :hec Iecr:, cnc Ihe hecrI fee|: grief, LuI we :cy cn|y IhcI which wi|| p|ec:e cur Fccc. /nc Iru|y we
cre ceep|y grievec Ly ycur cepcrIure, C lLr hm." 721
The Prophet (7) approved oI expressing grieI by letting tears Ilow, because people have no
power to restrain tears at times oI grieI, but he Iorbade every deed that can inIlame and exacerbate
grieI. Shedding tears, in moderation, can help to soothe the pain oI grieI, but wailing, eulogising,
screaming and other fhilivvah actions only increase the anguish and make a person more prone to
collapse. These actions are what the Arabs used to do at the time oI fhilivvah, when a person would
even request it beIore his death, so that others would come and wail over the dead, enumerating his
good qualities and exaggerating about the impact oI this bereavement. An example oI this is to be
seen in the poetry oI araIah ibn al-Abd: 'When I die, mention my qualities as beIits me, and rend
your garments Ior me, O daughter oI Mabad. Do not make me like a man whose aspirations are not
my aspirations, who could not do what I could do, or play the role I play.
All oI this is Iorbidden by Islm most emphatically, because it is a waste oI energy and contradicts the
acceptance oI Allh`s will and decree; it also opens the way Ior the Shavtn to lead people astray and
cause fitnah. The Prophet (7) reIerred to this, in the adth narrated by Umm Salamah (May Allh be
pleased with her), who said:
When /L Sc|cmch ciec, l :cic, 'He i: c :Ircnger in c :Ircnge |cnc. l :hc|| cerIcin|y cry cver him in :uch c
wcy IhcI pecp|e wi|| Ic|k cLcuI iI. l prepcrec my:e|f Ic cry cver him, LuI c wcmcn whc wc: ccming frcm
Ihe high p|cce: cf Mccnch Ic he|p me {in crying cnc wci|ing) wc: meI Ly Ihe Me::enger cf /|| h {7).
He c:kec, 'Dc ycu wcnI Ic |eI Ihe Sncytn enIer c hcu:e frcm which /|| h {,) hc: expe||ec him Iwice?
722 Sc l :Icppec crying, cnc l cic ncI cry." 723
The Prophet`s concern to Iorbid wailing, especially among women, reached such a level that when he
accepted the oath oI allegiance (bavah) Irom women, he asked them to pledge to keep away Irom
wailing. This is seen in the adth narrated by Bukhari and Muslim Irom Umm Atiyah who said:
Ihe FrcpheI {7) cccepIec Ihe p|ecge cf c||egicnce frcm u: cn Ihe Lc:i: IhcI we wcu|c ncI wci|."724
According to a report narrated by Muslim also Irom Umm Aiyah, she said:
When Ihe ycn when Le|ieving wcmen ccme Ic ycu Ic Icke Ihe ccIh cf fec|Iy Ic ycu, IhcI Ihey wi||
720 (Bukhr and Muslim), See Shar al-Sunnah, 5/429, Kitb al-fani:, bb al-bika ala al-mavvit.
721 Reported by Bukhr and Muslim. See Rivd al-6alin, 463, Kitb ivdah al-mard, bb fawa: al-bika ala al-mavit bi ghavri nadb
wa la nivhah.
722 The Iirst time was when Ab Salamah surrendered his soul (died), and some oI his Iamily were grieI-stricken. The Prophet told them,
'Do not pray Ior anything but good Ior yourselves, Ior the angels are saying bmn` to whatever you say, then he prayed Ior Ab Salamah.
The second time was when Umm Salamah started telling herselI that she would exaggerate in her crying Ior him, then she changed her mind.
|Author|
723 6a Muslim, 6/224, Kitb al-fani:, bb al-bika ala al-mavvit.
724 Fat al-Br, 3/176, Kitb al-fani:, bb ma vunha min al-nawh wal-bika, 6a Muslim, 6/237, Kitb al-fani:, bb tarm al-
nivhah.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
189
ncI c::ccicIe in wcr:hip cny cIher Ihing excepI /||h.. /nc IhcI Ihey wi|| ncI ci:cLey ycu in cny ju:I
mcIIer. (Qur`n 60: 12) wc: revec|ec, :he :cic, pcrI cf IhcI wc: wci|ing." 725
The Prophet (7) warned the woman who wails over the dead that iI she does not repent beIore her
own death, she will be raised on the Day oI Resurrection in a most IearIul state:
Ihe wcmcn whc wci|:, cnc cce: ncI repenI Lefcre :he cie:, wi|| Le rci:ec cn Ihe Dcy cf Fe:urrecIicn
wecring c :hirI cf Icr cnc c gcrmenI cf :ccL:." 726
He also warned that the angels oI mercy would be kept away Irom her, and she would be deprived oI
their du Ior her, as long as she insisted on wailing and making grieI worse. This is seen in the adth
narrated by Amad: Ihe cnge|: wi|| ncI prcy fcr Ihe cne whc wci|: cnc |cmenI:." 727
Because oI this clear, deIinitive prohibition oI wailing, screaming, eulogising, tearing one`s garments
and other fhili actions, the Muslim woman can do nothing but submit to the commands oI Allh (,) and
His Messenger, and keep away Irom everything that could compromise the purity oI her Iaith in the will
and decree oI Allh (,). She does not just stop there, however, she also calls women who may be
unaware oI this to obey the laws oI Allh (,) and to keep away Irom wailing, once they have understood
the commandments oI Allh (,) and His Messenger.
She oes Not Attend Iuneruls
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings oI Islm does not attend Iunerals, in
obedience to the command oI the Prophet (7), as reported by Umm Atiyah (May Allh be pleased with
her): We were fcrLiccen Ic cIIenc funerc|:, LuI ncI :IricI|y." 728
In this case, women`s position is the opposite oI men`s position. Islm encourages men to attend
Iunerals and to accompany the body until it is buried, but it dislikes women to do so, because their
presence could result in inappropriate situations that would compromise the dignity oI death and the
Iuneral rites. Accompanying the deceased until the burial oIIers a great lesson to those who do it, and
seeking Iorgiveness Ior the deceased, and thinking oI the meaning oI death that touches every living
thing:
Wherever ycu cre, cecIh wi|| finc ycu cuI, even if ycu cre in Icwer: Lui|I up :Ircng cnc highl.
(Qur`n 4: 78)
The Prophet (7) discouraged women Irom attending Iunerals (made it makrh), but did not Iorbid it
outright, because his discouraging it should be enough to make the obedient Muslim woman reIrain Irom
doing it. This is a sign oI the strength oI her Islm, her sincere obedience to Allh (,) and His
Messenger, and her willingness to adopt the attitude, which is better and more beIitting.
CONCLUSION
In the preceding pages, I have explained the character oI the Muslim woman as Islm wants her to be,
according to the wise guidance it gives her in all aspects oI liIe and in the Iorming oI her mind, soul,
psyche, morals and behaviour. This is reIerred to quite clearly in many vt and a adth, which strike
a precise balance in her character, in such a way that no one aspect dominates at the expense oI another,
and vividly describe the ideal way oI dealing with one`s parents, relatives, husband, children, neighbours,
Iriends and sisters in Islm, and others whom one meets in the society in which one lives.
The previous chapters explained that the Muslim woman`s role is not merely to stay at home, nursing
children and taking care oI the home. In addition to all that, the Muslim woman is in Iact raising a heroic
725 6a Muslim, 6/238, Kitb l-fani:, bb tarm al-nivhah.
726 6a Muslim, 6/235, Kitb al-fani:, bb tarm al-nivhah.
727 Imm Amad, Al-Musnad, 2/362; the men oI its isnd are thiqt.
728 Fat al-Br, 3/144, Kitb al-fani:, bb ittiba al-nis al-fani:; 6a Muslim, 7/2, Kitb al-fani:, bb nahv al-nis an ittiba al-
fani:.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
190
new generation, playing an important role in dwah and making an important, constructive contribution
in all areas oI liIe, working side-by-side with men to populate and cultivate the earth, enrich liIe and make
people happy.
It is abundantly clear that the Muslim woman who is guided by Islm is pure, constructive, productive,
alert, aware, educated and reIined. She Iully understands her duties towards Allh (,), and towards
herselI, her parents, her husband and children, her relatives, her neighbours, her Iriends and sisters in
Islm, and her society as a whole, with all the diIIerent types oI people, events and transactions it
includes.
She believes in Allh (,) and the Last Day; she is alert to the trials oI this liIe and the traps oI the
Shavtn; she worships Allh (,), obeys His commands, heeds His prohibitions, accepts His will and
decree, returns to His protection and seeks His Iorgiveness when she stumbles or becomes negligent; she
is aware oI her responsibility beIore Allh (,) towards the members oI her Iamily; she is keen to please
Him by whatever she does; she understands the true meaning oI being a slave oI Allh (,) and supports
His true religion; she enjoins what is good and Iorbids what is evil as much as she is able.
She is aware oI her obligations towards herselI, understanding that she is a human being composed oI
a body, mind and soul, each oI which has its own needs and requirements. Hence she is careIul to strike
the right balance between her body, mind and spirit; she does not devote attention to one at the expense oI
the others, rather, she devotes to each oI them the attention that is needed to Iorm a balanced personality,
always guided by the wise teachings oI Islm as seen in the Qur`n, Sunnah and examples oI the
righteous salaf who Iollowed in the Iootsteps oI the Prophet (7) with all sincerity.
She takes care oI her outward appearance without going to extremes oI excess or showing oII, and she
takes care oI her inner nature in a manner that beIits the human being whom Allh (,) has honoured by
making the angels prostrate to him and subjugating all that is in heaven and earth Ior his beneIit. In this
way, she develops a balanced, likeable character, one that is attractive both in appearance and in her
thinking, reasoning, behaviour and reactions.
She does not allow her care oI her body and mind to distract her Irom spiritual matters; she devotes
just as much attention to her spiritual development, and polishes her soul through worship, dhikr and
reading Qur`n. Her guideline in all oI this is to maintain a precise balance between all aspects oI her
personality.
She treats her parents with kindness and respect. She knows their status, and her duties towards them,
and she is very cautious not to disobey them. She never spares any eIIort to Iind the best way to treat
them properly, and she surrounds them with every type oI care, honour and respect.
With her husband, she is an ideal wiIe, intelligent, respectIul, obedient, tolerant and loving, eager to
please him and to respect and honour his Iamily. She conceals his secrets, and helps him to be righteous,
to Iear Allh (,) and to do good deeds. She Iills his heart with happiness, peace and tranquillity.
With her children, she is a loving, compassionate mother who wisely understands the great importance
oI her motherly role in bringing them up. She makes them aware oI her love and care Ior them, and never
withholds right guidance Irom them or Iails to correct them iI they need it, so that they will grow up with
an ideal Islmic upbringing that will cultivate in them the best morals and attitudes and a love Ior the
highest things.
With her daughters- and sons-in-law, she is kind, Iair and wise, and oIIers them sincere advice. She
does not interIere in their private matters. She treats them well and strives to strengthen the bonds oI love
and to ward oII the evils oI disputes.
With her relatives, she upholds the ties oI love, and does not neglect to keep in touch and treat them
well. She is keen to maintain the relationship even iI they do not uphold the ties, acting in obedience to
the teachings oI Islm, which urge the upholding oI the ties oI kinship with love and aIIection.
She treats her neighbours well and is concerned about them. She knows the great rights they have,
which Jibrl emphasised to the Prophet (7) so strongly that the Prophet thought he was going to make
them his heirs. So she likes Ior them what she likes Ior herselI. She treats them well, respects their
Ieelings, puts up with their insults, turns a blind eye to their Iaults and mistakes, and is careIul not to
mistreat them or to Iall short in her treatment oI them.
With her Iriends and sisters in Islm, she is distinguished Irom other women by the way in which she
builds her relationship with them on a basis oI love Ior the sake oI Allh (,), which is the highest and
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
191
purest love that exists among human beings, as it is Iree Irom any impurity or ulterior motive and its
purity is derived Irom the light oI the Revelation and Prophetic guidance. ThereIore the Muslim woman is
sincere and tolerant in her Ieelings oI love and sisterhood towards her sisters, and she is keen to maintain
the ties oI sisterhood and love between her and them. She does not cut them oII, Iorsake them, gossip
about them, hurt their Ieelings with hostile arguments and disputes, bear grudges, or withhold any Iavour
she could do Ior them, and she always greets them with a cheerIul, smiling Iace.
In her relationship with her society, she is a social being oI the highest class, because oI what she has
learned oI the wise teachings oI Islm concerning social dealings and high morals. Erom the rich spring oI
Islm she derives her customs, habits and behaviour and the ethics and values which puriIy her soul and
Iorm her distinct social character.
She is oI good character (has a good attitude towards others) and is sincere and straightIorward with all
people. She does not cheat, deceive or stab in the back. She is not a hypocrite. She does not speak Ialsely
(or bear Ialse witness). She oIIers sincere advice and guides others to good deeds. She keeps her promises.
She has the characteristic oI modesty and selI-respect. She does not interIere in that which does not
concern her. She avoids slandering the honour oI others and seeking out their Iaults. She does not show
oII. She is Iair in her judgements oI others. She does not oppress others. She is Iair even to those whom she
does not like. She does not rejoice in the misIortunes oI others. She avoids suspicion. She restrains her
tongue Irom malicious gossip. She avoids cursing and obscene speech. She does not make Iun oI anybody.
She is gentle with people. She is compassionate. She strives to beneIit others and protect them Irom harm.
She eases the hardship oI one who is suIIering. She is generous. She does not remind the beneIiciaries oI
her charity. She is patient. She is tolerant. She does not bear grudges or harbour resentment. She is easy-
going, not harsh. She is not envious. She avoids boasting and showing oII. She does not speak in an
aIIected or exaggerated manner. She has a likeable personality. She is Iriendly and likeable. She keeps
secrets. She is oI cheerIul countenance. She has a sense oI humour. She tries to make people happy. She is
not over-strict. She is not arrogant. She is humble. She is modest in her dress and appearance. She pursues
noble things. She is concerned about the aIIairs oI the Muslims. She honours guests. She preIers others to
herselI. She measures her habits and customs against the standards oI Islm. She uses the greeting oI
Islm. She does not enter any house other than her own without permission. She sits wherever she Iinds
room in a gathering. She does not converse privately with another woman when a third is present. She
respects her elders and distinguished people. She does not look into any house other than her own. She
chooses work that suits her Ieminine nature. She does not imitate men. She calls others to the truth. She
enjoins what is good and Iorbids what is evil. She is wise and eloquent in her dwah. She mixes with
righteous women. She hastens to reconcile between Muslim women. She mixes with women and puts up
with their insults. She appreciates Iavours and is grateIul Ior them. She visits the sick. She does not attend
Iunerals.
This is the personality oI the Muslim woman as deIined by the teachings oI Islm.
No doubt the Muslim woman is the most reIined example oI womanhood ever known in any human
society. Along with all the Iine qualities listed above, the Muslim woman also possesses wisdom, purity
oI soul, a high level oI spirituality, a sound concept oI liIe, the universe and humanity, and a deep
awareness oI her important role in liIe.
Surely a woman`s reaching such a high level oI intellectual, psychological, spiritual and moral
development is a great human blessing, which is unequalled by any oI the many other blessings that
human beings enjoy. It is a cultural achievement greater than any other reached by humanity in its long
history. The Iact that women have reached this high level oI development means that they are mature and
are Iully qualiIied to play their important role in liIe.
What we see today in many parts oI the Muslim world oI Muslim women`s backwardness and Iailure
to reach that high level that Islm wants Ior them, is a result oI the Iact that the Muslims in general have
wandered Iar away Irom the pure sources oI Islm and have become lost in various kinds oI fhilivvah or
intellectual and psychological dependency on others. None oI this would have happened to the Muslims
in general, and Muslim women in particular, iI the Muslims had preserved their spiritual and intellectual
sources properly, and men and women had drunk Irom these pure sources which would have given them
immunity, originality and distinction.
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
192
Whilst the attack on the Muslim world was aimed at the identity oI the Muslims in general, men and
women alike, to disrupt it and to contaminate its original intellectual sources, no doubt many prongs oI
this attack were aimed at the Muslim woman in particular, with the aim oI stripping her oI the dress oI
virtue by which she had been known throughout history, and making her wear the alien, tight-Iitting,
borrowed dress that makes her look like a copy oI Ioreign women in her appearance, thinking and
behaviour.
Tremendous eIIorts were devoted to the call Ior the Westernization oI Muslim women by various
societies, organizations and movements. Al-amdu lillh, all oI it ended in Iailure in the Iace oI the
reawakening oI educated Muslim woman who understood the teachings oI Islm. Many oI the men and
women who supported Westernization have now retreated, admitting the depth oI the Muslim woman`s
belieI, and the originality oI Islm in her thinking, psychology and Ieelings.
The great hopes that are pinned on the Muslim woman, who is aware oI her role, require her to be even
stronger in proving her Islmic identity, wherever she may live and whatever her circumstances may be.
By reinIorcing her Islmic identity, she clearly demonstrates her awareness, high aims, sincerity and
devotion to Islm and its distinctive culture. This is also indicative oI her ability to contribute to the
revival oI the ummah to which she belongs and the development oI the country she lives in.

Symbols used in this book

(,) :Subnahu wa T1a - `The Exalted'
(7) :6a11-A11hu A1ayhi wa Sa11am -
`Blessings and Peace be upon
him'
(X) :A1ayhis-Sa1m - `May Peace be
upon him'
(W) :Raia A11hu Anh - `May Allh be
pleased with him', Rai A11hu Anh
- `May Allh be pleased with her',
Rai A11hu Anhum - `May Allh be
pleased with them.'
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
193
Transliteration Chart
Arabic
Letter
Symbol
Used
or
aa
b
t
h or t
(when followed
by another
Arabic word)
th
j

kh
d
dh
r
z
s
sh



dh
`
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
194
gh
f
q
k
l
m
n
h
w
(as vowel) or
oo
y
(as
vowel)
or
ee
' (Omitted
in initial
position)
Fatah a
Kasrah i
kammah u
Shaddah Double
letter
Sukn Absence of
vowel
Downloaded from: www.islamic-download.com
195