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Lily Of The Valley Of Lilith

by Barth Phillips

Lilith, Oh Lilith, why for art thou Lilith? Lilith, Ohio, a small farming community of Anglo-Germanic Pre-Revolutionary stock, with a bit of Blarney and Old Haggis blended in. These were not Devil-May-Care libertines, but Devil-On-YourShoulder, nearest Church to home, Protestants. They reveled in their Germanic single-mindedness and their smattering of Biblical and pseudo-Biblical knowledge. Knowing they were the first of their ilk in the Meander River Valley, that Lilith was Adams first wife, and that first wives always worked hardest (the second being for play), they felt the name very apropos and a natural for their new homestead. By the Second World War Lilith sprawled over both sides of a crescent-like bend in the Meander River and up the Valley hills on both sides, studded as they were by woodlands, struggling and abandoned family farms and coal stripping gouges. The Lilith folk did the best they could, or so they thought, fending off the devils on each of their shoulders from ensnaring them and their charges; attending the nearest open Protestant Church when they could (weather and farming chores permitting); making sure not to spare the rod (for who had the time or patience for a spoiled child); and all while keeping food on the table. Being who they were, and from whence they came, with their Old World non-demonstrativeness and intimidation discipline, shows of touchy touchy physical affection were alien to them (except perhaps between husbands and second wives). Family members rarely kissed, touched or hugged, even after long absences; not mother and daughter, sister and brother, nor God forbade, father and son. Our Lilithians knew not of Lilith beyond her having pre-dated Eve as Adams wife, Eve whose dalliance with the snake and her apple temptress ways caused them to have to break their backs with heavy labor each day even now. They knew not of the strife Lilith caused Adam as wife, causing Adam to petition God for a more wifely wife. They knew not that some saw Lilith after the expulsion from the Garden of Eden, first as an asexual demon who took on female attributes, and then as a demonic child stealing seductress who could not copulate in a normal way. They knew not of her darkly fertilizing the hills and valleys of humankind with strife and grief, ripping out their hearts and souls as the coal strippers ripped out the coal from the land. Out of this compost was born our sweet Lily of the Valley, She who was meant to be a harbinger of a return to happiness and love. As legend has it the beautiful Lily of the Valley, her namesake, was a sign of future grace from Heaven, springing full flower from Eves tears upon her banishment from of the Garden of Eden. The next to last, Lily was born to an economically hard-pressed farming family, where a wife was cheaper than a hired cook to keep the farm hands fed. Exhibitions of love being scarce there, yet one must
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assume she was loved as a youngster, if in a less than overly demonstrative way. Not so unusual a tale, and a tale yet containing the hope of a normal chance to love and be loved. Lilith surely then intervened, leaving our Lily alone at a tender pre-pubescent age with her step-grandpaw who commenced pawing her. One can imagine his ogres paws forcing her head down into his exposed groin, perhaps attempting to stiffen her young nipples and taking other liberties. One can imagine the agony she suffered. But the agony of her childs internal debate as whether to tell her Mom or not must have been even greater and the fear of her Moms reaction must have been the worst fear of all, as she remained absolutely and totally mum. But would you believe the self same ogre likewise inflicted himself on a similarly aged kin of hers, who was not too afraid to tell her Mom? Yet Lilith was not yet done, for the Mom to Mom telegraph sprung into action and Lilys Mom was soon the wiser. The wiser? Was Lilys Mom truly the wiser? Did she turn the ogre into the authorities? Did she rain sympathy and comfort on Lily? Did she assure Lily that she was blameless? No on all counts! Instead Lilith, through the Devil on her Moms shoulder, took mental hold and Lily was brow beaten into submission (it is hoped only brow beaten) to the idea that she was a bad, bad girl and it was all her fault. But it was even worse, it was instilled in her that sex too was bad and that after it had accomplished procreation and the period of procreation had passed, sex was undesirable, unpleasant and to be avoided. In future years all of this seems to have caused the development of negative feedback loops giving her a serious aversion to having her head touch and to gifting fellatio, causing her to interpret the pleasure derivable from her nipples as pain (though she did bravely suckle two young), and even leading to a burst blood vessel in her eye the professed one and only time she experience organism. Thus, in addition to installing a timer on her sexuality, Lilith had denied her and her partner of the pleasures of kissing, cuddling and of her bosoms, as well as denying her and her partner the pleasure of her bestowing the gift of fellatio. Ah! Lilith sighed, a good blights work. A Bit of EL had soured Lilys sweet life! Years passed. It was the Sixties! Lily was now calling herself Lilly, perhaps in recognition of the added EL in her life. She was then attending college locally. Suddenly, within sight of graduation, she relocates to Columbus; the big times as far as Ohio goes. With graduation so close, one can only wonder why: Rebellion? Heart Struck? Heart Broke? Impregnated? Miscarriage? Abortion? Closed Adoption? Perhaps from among the latter four as she later feared possible second pregnancy consequences from her first in wedlock pregnancy? Whatever the reason, she moved to the Big City, developed relationships, as before none apparently lasting over three months, and moved in with a libertine married couple, involved in the Encounter and Human Potential movement, who at the least photographed her au natural. Yes, she was then a charmer, at least in the eyes of a married Horndog, a friend of a Swain of hers and Brent. Brent, a Free Radical from yet a bigger city and of another European ethnicity and religiosity, then entered her life. Well, not exactly free as he was separated, but not yet divorced. He was experimenting with an Encounter Group and she was there filling in. Several meetings had passed and they had hardly interacted. She asked him if he needed a ride home, he accepted. Two other groupies who lived further
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away than him heard and asked to be taken home too, one an English lass he had had some interest in, and one a zoftig gal of his religiosity interested in him. Lilly dropped these interlopers off first and then took him to his home. Obviously, he invited her in. They sat on the sofa and commence to pet, which proceeded at light speed to a bra snap. At this point, to his utter surprise (he was expecting at that moment only an udder delight), Lilly thrilled him with the statement Lets go up stairs! Five intravirginal organisms later, at least on his part, he was enamored and jointly the Thursday before Halloween for a number of years thereafter became an annual holiday. Her postcoital utterance, Dont expect me to do those dishes, put a damper on nothing. Neither was the feeling of the spontaneity of the moment diminished by her having resumed birth control just earlier that day, and it was certainly enhanced by her decision to postpone her visit to her distant army brother she had been planning to leave on that morning. Psychologically, this was certainly a big boost to Brent, having separated merely a month before from Pru for whom he had been a substitute for the mother she was struggling to get away from. That separation and the subsequent divorce was as amicable as such things can be and had been preceded by Prus suggestion that sex should continue after separation (which was not followed through on by Brent as the relationship with Lilly was blossoming). His initial attraction to Pru was traceable back to a long, deep, silkily smooth French kiss, and their post-separation good-bye kiss engendered her comment: Your mouth tastes so good. Lilly and Brents relationship grew. It appeared they were smitten. Surely, Brent thought, at least with Lilly sex would never be a problem! They started living together on weekends. In these early days, when her car wouldnt start, she even pulled Horndog grudgingly out of his warm house one extremely cold snowy evening to have him pick Brent up at the airport (and Swains friend still refers clients to Brent). .Interestingly, the self same Horndogs advances were also repulsed by Pru during the separation. Lilly did, however, became upset with Brent once for dancing with an acquaintance at a party when Lilly had shyly declined to dance. But then the three month anniversary was within reach. Good things come in threes, dont they? That day Brent had his only ride in an Edsel, got a ride on a Company Jet and was able to convince Lilly that their ride did not have to end at the three month mark, as her past rides had. They continued their riding of each other. And after Brent realized that others did not arouse him as she did, they moved in together fulltime, though she needed to buy an unneeded additional queen sized bed as window dressing for her Mom. But then later Lilly in a fit of temper ran away and had to be coaxed back when Brent had suggested they ride Route 69 to Mutual Pleasure, as an alternate destination to Intercourse, PA, to which they traveled together. Fits Of temper and a need to throw things was another gift of Lilith, rarely surfacing, but fuming just under the surface, empirically resulting from the suppressed anger of these early traumas. Time past and Brent was making multiple business trips around the World, advising here, negotiating there and litigating here and there. While visiting the Land of Aphrodite Brent realized how he missed Lilly and decided it was time to propose. Thus, in the car, light headed after donating blood, he did so. They then traveled to the Big Apple where he contacted an old friend and acquired a respectable rock. But other rocks there may be ahead, thought Lilly. First she needed to reveal to Brent the existence of the photographs. Then also certain of her sexual problems to the extent she recognized them herself. Brent must have really loved her as he worked to overcome all such problems even though other woman wanted him to make himself available to them, including one with his own last name and one a client. Instead of
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bailing, he accepted the former to the extent revealed to him, and with regard to the latter obtained Lillys consent to couples sex therapy. Alas, Lilly found it too daunting and to end it promised Brent that such problems would never, never be his problem with her, as she later promised to love him, promises both kept in the breach. The wedding was outdoors, under a spreading, living tree, and was not Protestant, but a creature of their making, with How Beautiful You Are to Me playing in the background. The couple lovingly wrote their own vows and Brent took Lilly, the words came spontaneously, for so long as you do love me. Brent thus joined her siblings Spouses Club along with her childless older sisters husband, and the child-bearing Catholic and Ex-Nun wives of her brothers. That night Lilly exclaimed with glee: We went and did it! Brent had coins minted to commemorate this event and exclamation, and they made a special visit to Intercourse, PA to send out selected wedding announcements from there. After a years wait, two kids in a row were quickly conceived and pregnant sex was a joy, though those precious lactating nipples were off limits. Only near the end of lactation did she express a little mothers milk into a cup for Brent to savor. Marital relations continued for a while, but as with pre-marital relations, sans kissing, serious cuddling, nipple and oral play, and, oh yes, head patting. Brent did much work travel then, causing Lilly to express how she missed having Brent next to her in bed. The absolute best sex at that time was when Lilly did not want to go with Brent to an Eastern Orthodox Celebration, exotic to both of them, to which he had been specially invited. The Exotic Celebration was fun, the celebration of sex was better. As the agreed kid limit of two had been reached, sex started into a decline, until Lilly decided to go cold turkey on a psychiatric drug prescription. Then Wowee Woo Wow, did the sex get upbeat, fast and furious, welcomed by her at anytime and in various positions (though still sans kissing, etc.). Wake me up whenever you want, she encouraged him. Brent thanked Heaven and was content. Lilith shuddered! This lasted for a goodly time, and then began to wane; which takes us to the dire garage debacle, too many years ago for Brent to want to count. He was diligently getting the disheveled garage in order, which was turning Lilly on. Spontaneously she promised him a night of sex for his good work. The project took too long and by the time Brent went to bed she was too tired, and she asked him to wait until morning, to which he complied. That night his dreams were full of her and of her promised land. In the morning he mounted her, while she just laid there, acting cold. That was the last time she participated in their marital relationship or loved him. As with sex therapy, couples therapy thereafter proved fruitless as Lilly refused to participated, claiming Brent and the therapist were ganged up against her. Eventually she retreated from their marital bed to sleep in the guest room. While neither has sought to physically separate, Lillys early on solution was for Brent to screw around on his own, giving him at least twice specific verbal permission to be with other women, though also acting jealous if he looked at another and rejecting his idea that to keep it sanctified she arrange it; permission that Brent has not availed himself of, at least yet. Oh!, but for the Bit of EL to be gone and for

Lily to be re-born!

While hope reigns eternal, the Celestial Referee has chalked up a resounding victory for Lilith! Let it not be carved in stone!
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