Unit III COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

Filipino way of courtship 1. Traditional 2. Modern 3. Online

DATING A special kind of friendship between two persons of the opposite sex that may lead to love, courtship and marriage. REASONS FOR DATING 1. for personal development 2. learn, know and understand the opposite sex 3. fill the human need for love 4. to fill social needs for fun and recreation 5. to find a future marriage partner 6. to develop spiritual growth FIVE STAGES OF DATING I. Friendship II. Dating Proper a. Casual dating- involves no special involvement b. Special dating- requires a limited degree of emotional involvement; occurs during special events or functions c. Steady dating- two young people commit themselves to date only each other. III. Engaged-to-be-engaged -the period of going steady and becoming officially engaged - creating tentative plans towards marriage - couples test and retests values and attitudes IV. Formal Engagement - the couple commit themselves to marriage by exchanging symbols that bind their commitment to each other - publicly announce their intention to marry - plan the wedding V. Marriage TWO KINDS OF DATING a. Spectator Date- you sit while watching and listening to entertainment - very popular on first dates because they reduce tension; comfortable date b. Participation Date- you are actively involved in recreation (cooking a meal, zoo) - seldom turn out boring

THEORIES OF MATE SELECTION A. PSYCHODYNAMIC- emphasizes the influence of experiences of earlier years upon mate selection 1. Parent-Image Theory- man is likely to marry someone resembling his mother and that a woman will likely to marry someone resembling her father. 2. Ideal-Mate Theory- people form fantasy of what an ideal mate should be like based partly upon early childhood experiences. Jung- Every man carries within his genes an archetype form of a female image. Love at first sight is supported by this theory 3. Birth- Order Theory- emphasizes the influence of birth order on personality and behavior patterns. B. NEEDS THEORIES 1. Complementary Needs Theory- people tend to select mates whose needs are opposite but complementary to their own. 2. Instrumental Needs Theory- people seek relationships with those who provide maximum gratification and minimum purification for their needs. C. EXCHANGE THEORIES- basis for continuing relationship between partners is that each believes he/she will get as much or more from the relationship as it will cost. 1. Equity Theory- insist on fairness or the principle that it is most fair to get benefits from a relationship in proportion to what is given. 2. Stimulus-Value-Role Theory Stimulus- each person being drawn to another primarily because of physical, mental, social, or reputational attraction. Value- Explore one anothers interests and values Role- explore behavior patterns, temperament, emotional stability and security etc., the goal is to see if the partners are similar enough to build a comfortable partnership. D. DEVELOPMENT PROCESS THEORIES- mate selection as process of filtering and weeding out ineligibles and incompatible persons until one person is selected. 1. Propinquity/proximity- geographic nearness is a major factor influencing mate selection 2. Homogamy- tendency to choose individuals similar to oneself 3. Endogamy- the practice of marrying within ones own group 4. Heterogamy- attracted to and marrying someone different form oneself 5. Exogamy- marrying across social lives 6. Compatibility- living together in harmony MARRIAGE Is an institution admitting a man and a woman to family life that is to living in the intimate personal relations of husband and wife for the primary purpose of begetting and rearing a children. 2 Concepts of Marriage 1. Legal point of view considers marriage as a contact between man and woman to live together as husband and wife for the discharge of duties to each other and to the community.

2. Religious point of view marriage is a sacrament whose main purpose are to beget, rear and educate children and to maintain a permanent social relationship with mutual responsibility to each other. Reasons why people marry 1. Human infants have prolonged period of dependency. - they need someone to take care of them - economic purposes - most common means of ensuring that both woman and children are supported. 2. People get married to overcome the threat of sexual competition 3. People got married because they benefit from each others labor - they help each other 4. Men marry because it is one way of gaining dominance over women 5. All man and women marry for procreation. Economic Aspect of Marriage 1. Bride price/Bridewealth - the gift of money or goods from the groom or his kin to the brides kin. - Common in Africa and Oceania 2. Bride service - requires the groom to work for the brides family usually bride service occurs before the marriage. Ex. Man fetch water, chop wood traditional - do an errand for the family - modern 3. Gift exchange - Involves the exchange of gift of about equal value by the two kin groups of the couple. 4. Dowry - substantial transfer of goods or money from the brides parent or family to the groom. Forms of Marriage 1. Monogamy most common and universal - union of one man and woman. 2. Polygyny individual is married to several individuals at the same time.(muslims) a. polygyny marrying more than one woman at the same time - muslim societies a.1 sororal polygyny- man married two or more sisters a.2 non-sororal polygyny wives of man are not sisters b. polyandry marriage of woman to several man (Toda peolple-Sri lanka) b.1 fraternal polyandry- husbands are brothers b.2 non-fraternal husbands are not brothers 3. Adoptive marriage - marriage found in Japan - patronymic ones surname is transferred from father to son only. - Do an adoptive marriage wherein couple find an adoptive son-in-law and let him take the surname of the family before the weeding. -

4. Fictive marriage - practice in Africa - established for companionship only - union between two woman (young and old) older woman most likely divorced by husband - barren- cannot bear a child younger woman allowed to have a relationship with a man - children will be consider as their children. 5. Other forms of marriage a. sorrorate marriage sister in law marriage - man marries the wife of the deceased brother b. levirate marriage brother-in-law - woman marries the husband of the deceased sister. Marital Residence 1. Patrilocal residence man brings his wife to his parents house - popular in rural areas - parents invite couple to reside with them temporarily until they can afford to be by themselves. 2. Matrilocal wife brings her husband to her parents house - common if child is only daughter. 3. Neolocal couple lives or resides in a place far from residence of the bride and grooms residence. - far from intervention of parents. The Marriage Process I. II. III. Finding/Choosing Spouse Meeting the Terms Marriage Ceremony Legal Bases of Marriage I. Requirements: Age 18 below not allowed to marry 18-21 parent consent 21-25- need parent advice Birth Certificate Document (proof of singleness) II. Void and voidable marriages Void no marriage from the very beginning, can never be ratified, no conjugal partnership but there exists co ownership. Voidable valid from the start until annulled, can be ratifies until cohabitation, There exists a conjugal partnership.

Void marriage 1. Those contracted by any party below 18 years of age even with the consent of parents or guardians 2. Those solemnized by any person not legally authorized to perform marriages. 3. those solemnized without license 4. Those bigamous or polygamous marriage 5. incest between ascendants and descendants in any degree 6. between brothers and sisters 7. between collateral blood relatives, whether legitimate or illegitimate 8. between step parents and step children. 9. between parents-in-law and children-in-law 10. between the adoption parent and the adopted child 11. between the surviving spouse of the adopting parent and the adopted child 12. between an adopted child and a legitimate child of the adopter. 13. between adopted children of the same adopter 14. between parties where one, with the intention to marry the other, killed that other persons spouse, or his/her own spouse. III. Grounds for Annulment 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Psychological incapacity homosexuality in men and lesbianism in women satyriasis in men and nymphomania for women extremely low intelligence immaturity epilepsy, with permanent recurring maladaptive manifestation habitual alcoholism Criminality, person consistently gets in trouble with the law. Party seeking for annulment was 18 or over but below 21, the marriage was solemnized without the consent of parents or guardian. Unsound mind insanity of one of the parties Fraud Non-disclosure of a previous conviction by final judgment of the party of a crime. Concealment by the wife of the fact that at the time of marriage, she was pregnant by a man other that the husband. Concealment of sexually transmitted disease Concealment of drug addiction, habitual alcoholism. Force Intimidation Impotency lack of power to copulate Affliction of a sexually transmissible disease

IV. Grounds for Legal Separation 1. Repeated physical violence or gross abusive conduct 2. Physical violence or moral pressure to compel petitioners to change religion or political affiliation 3. Attempt to corrupt petitioner/child to engage in prostitution. 4. Final judgment sentencing respondent to more than six years imprisonment 5. Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism 6. Lesbianism or homosexuality

7. Sexual infidelity or perversion (adultery or concubinage) Adultery an act which is committed by any married woman who shall have sexual intercourse with a man not her husband. Concubinage on the part of husband who shall keep a mistress in the conjugal dwelling. 8. Bigamy 9. Attempt of one spouse against the life of the other 10. Abandonment of one spouse by the other for more than one year. V. Divorce An institutionalized arrangement for terminating the marriage relationship and allowing each partner the right to remarry. Types of divorce 1. Absolute divorce the party has the right to remarry again 2. Relative divorce type of divorce which does not dissolve the bonds of matrimony leaves the way open for future reconciliation. Marital Conflict 1. Situational conflict 2. Personal conflict 3. Structural conflict