Relationships (part two) Two weeks ago we took a look at PAYBACKS.

Our world is full of people returning evil for evil. It seems we are very quick to quote from the Old Testament: Leviticus 24:19-20 (NLT) 19 Anyone who injures another person must be dealt with according to the injury inflicted 20 a fracture for a fracture, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Whatever anyone does to injure another person must be paid back in kind. An eye for an eyepaying back people for harming or hurting us on some level, any way we can. The human nature side of us wants to pay others back for the harm that they do. That is why when a toddler gets hit, most of the time they choose to hit back. A toddler is not thinking about self-defense they are only thinking about hurting that other toddler that hurt them. You hit me, I hit you back. What is really scary is that this is the attitude for many adults as well. If you hurt me, I will hurt you back. If you steal my girlfriend, I will punch you in the face. If you steal my boyfriend, I will say bad things about you on Facebook.

But we also took a look at some other scriptures in the bible as well. Matthew 18:21-22 (NLT) 21 Then Peter came to him and asked, Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? 22 No, not seven times, Jesus replied, but seventy times seven! We do not hear a lot about forgiveness from people to people until Jesus began teaching about it. Why? I think it is because until the moment in which Jesus was born, there wasnt anybody who was qualified like Jesus. He was born into our world ultimately, to FORGIVE. He is our great forgiver, therefore he understands forgiveness. Listen to what Jesus said about eye for an eye paybacks: Matthew 5:38-45 (NLT) 38 You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. 39 But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. 40 If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. 41 If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. 42 Give to those who ask, and dont turn away from those who want to borrow. 43 You have heard the law that says, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In

that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. What is Jesus teaching us here? Is Jesus teaching us that we are to stand still and take it when we are hurt? Are we really, when slapped on one side of our face, to turn and offer the other side as well? No. Lets take a look again at this passage of scripture. I need a volunteerI need a man. A manly man. An upper classman. It has been suggested over and over again that only 10% of the population is left-handed. So we are able to draw the conclusion that Jesus was speaking so people would understand what he was trying to communicate. It was understood by the people that Jesus was referring to being hit by another person with their right hand. Nowsuppose I was to hit this volunteer using my right hand, on his right cheek. How can I do that? (Eventually, stand toe-to-toe, face-to-face with the volunteer.) I could reach around the back of his headI could do a back spin and hit him with a hammer fist. Or, I could reach my right had down across my chest and slap him across the face. (Thank the volunteer..) What do you suppose is more insulting? To be punched in the face, or to be slapped?

A punch is designed to inflict more physical damage, but a backhanded slap is designed to cause deep personal hurt, shame and embarrassment. Sohere is the message that Jesus is saying: Whenever you are deeply and personally hurtwhen you are devastated and are embarrassed and feel so ashamed because somebody chose to hurt youdont pay them back. Instead forgive them. But I know that you need a course of action. You need a godly way to respond to people who hurt you and spitefully use you. You want to be bitter. You want to attack backI know. But bitterness is a dangerous thing to the body of Christbitterness is a dangerous thing to our student ministry. Hebrews 12:15 (NLT) 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Youth ministries and churches are because a root of bitterness begins to grow in somebodys heartthen people begin taking sides! So instead of allowing bitterness and resentment to grow, this is what you need to do: Matthew 5:44-45 (NLT) 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.

Why does Jesus command that we begin praying for those who have devastated us and ruined our lives? Let me answer that by telling you about my two little girls. When one of them hurt the other one, after we scold them, we make sure that they tell one another that they are sorry. But are they really sorry? Are they just saying Im sorry or do they really, deep down, on the inside, regret causing the other one hurt? Have your parents ever had you tell your brother or sister you are sorryand make you do it over and over again until you sound sincere? Andat the best you probably sounded sincere enough to convince your parents you were genuinely sorry But you know you better. As Christians, we are Jesus rebels here on the earth, and our desire is to see as many people transformed on the inside by trusting in Christ as Savior as possible. We are transformed on the inside and born-again through Jesus forgiving us for all of our sin. When we forgive other people for the wrongs they have done to ussomething SPIRITUAL has just occurred. We are showing the world we forgive. But there is more to simply forgiving others. Jesus calls us to pray for those who have hurt us: Matthew 5:44 (NLT) 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!

PRAY. When was the last time you prayed for an enemy? And reallywhat do you pray? Do you pray for them to be hurt? Do you pray for them to lose friends, get hurt in an accidenttheir dog to die? Of course not. But what are we supposed to pray specifically for our enemies? We cant simply say: Dear Jesus, I pray for my enemy. The word pray means to askso what are we supposed to ask God for those who have hurt us? Remember: John 15:7 (NLT) 7 But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! Asking God in prayer for anything is an incredible responsibilityso when we pray for our enemies, we want to do it right. First, we have to do it with the understanding that at times, we have been others enemiesincluding an enemy of the Lord: Colossians 1:21-22 (NLT) 21 This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. 22 Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

We pray with the understanding that we now stand before the Lord without a single faultand we want to forgive our enemy in such a way, that when they are in our presence, we view them as ourselves before the Lord: without a single fault. Secondly, we pray in private: Matthew 6:6 (NLT) 6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. We keep it to ourselves as much as possible. Can we go to other Christians and ask for them to pray for us? YES! But do we make it a prayer request or announcement to a group of people? No. When we take this burden of hurt to others, we are seeking room in their prayer closet. We are asking that the next time they slip into Gods presence, they would lift up your hurt, and your enemy to the Lord. Galatians 6:1-3 (NLT) 1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each others burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. We ask God to gently and humbly restore those enemies who have hurt us! This would require a transformation on the inside.

Why does God allow you to have enemies? So you can pray for them! What is the most significant thing that could happen to your enemy? If they are not saved, if they are not born-again and forgiven for all of their sins, that enemy needs to be saved. So with the understanding that you want them to be saved, first pray this that they will: 1. Become convinced that Jesus is the Son of God. Become convinced that Jesus paid for their sins on the Cross, that he rose from the dead and one day he will return. 2. Then, pray for their salvation. Ask God to save them. 3-4 months after I was saved, I went back to school, and found every student I had picked on and messed with and apologized to them. I found my teacher who caught me cheating on a Biology test, and apologized to him. I found my vice-principal who I had cussed out when I showed up drunk at school and apologized to him. Why? Because I had been savedI was SINCERELY sorry for the hurt that I had caused, and I knew the right thing to do was to apologize to them. Secondly, Because you have forgiven them, treat them nicelyand serve them. Matthew 5:46-48 (NLT) 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your

friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. Only selfish people are nice to those who are nice to them. Only selfish people love those who love them. Only selfish people pray for those who pray for them. Only selfish people give to those who give to them. Only selfish people forgive those if they forgive them. Romans 12:17-21 (NLT) 17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, I will take revenge; I will pay them back, says the LORD. 20 Instead, If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads. 21 Dont let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. There is no question that you will be hurt. The great question is how you respond. They hate us without a cause; we love them in spite of their hate. They slander usthey dis us. They slam us. They say things that are hurtful and untrue; We bless them and praise God.

 They ignore us; we greet and encourage them. They hurt us; we do them good. They practice evil toward us; we overcome their evil with good Why? Because that is what those who have been forgiven are able to do. The more you learn to love others and care for others, the less you are going to be offended by them. 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT) 8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Maybe you have never trusted Christ to be your Savior and received forgiveness for your sins. Would you like to do that tonight?