TUESDAY, FEB 21 2012 VOL. XXXIII, ISSUE 9 The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly during the academic year and twice during summer session by The Stony Brook Press, a sLudenL run non-proL organizaLion unded by Lhe SLudenL AcLiviLy Fee. 1he opinions expressed in leLLers, arLicles and viewpoinLs do noL necessarily reecL Lhose o The Stony Brook Press as a whole. AdverLising policy does noL necessarily reecL ediLorial policy. SLa meeLings are held Wednesdays aL .00 pm. FirsL copy ree. For addiLional copies conLacL Lhe 8usiness Manager. 1he SLony 8rook Press SuiLes 060 & 06 SLudenL Union SUN aL SLony 8rook SLony 8rook, N 794-3200 Fmail. ediLors@sbpress.com 1A8LF OF CON1FN1S editorials 07 Weekend Finals? news 08 Club Budgets 04 Calendar Wars 06 USGs Efforts 14 Memes features 16 Emerson 10 Yarn Club 11 My Life As 09 UN Ambassador 12 Occupy SBU 20 Art Supplies 21 6WDOO*UDIWL 13 RecycleMania 18 Chambers 3UROH Correction: Our last issue stated the USG failed to attend both a meeting and a Senate meeting in which they were to speak to the LGBTA. The two were not separate occurances. THE STONY BROOK PRESS EXECUTIVE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR WEB EDITOR BUSINESS MANAGER ART DIRECTOR PRODUCTION MANAGER NEWS EDITOR FEATURES EDITOR CULTURE EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR OPINION EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR SENIOR COPY EDITOR COPY EDITOR COPY EDITOR TECHNOLOGY DIRECTOR MINISTER OF ARCHIVES OMBUDSMAN AQUATIC ADVISORY NICK STATT CAROL MORAN EVAN GOLDAPER TREVOR CHRISTIAN JASMINE HAEFNER JESSE CHANG MARK GREEK ARIELLE DOLLINGER ALYSSA MELILLO MIKE PEDERSEN VINCENT BARONE JEN NOVOTNY TOM JOHNSON LIZ KAEMPF CHRISTINE BOUCHER SARAH EVINS DOUG NEWMAN SAM LIEBRAND CAROLINA HIDALGO GILBERT GAMESH STAFF TERICHI BELLINGER KATIE BLASL OLIVIA BURNE ALYSSA CARROLL AMANDA DOUVILLE LAUREN DUBOIS DAN CASHMAR JOHN FISCHER MICHELLE FRANTINO ETHAN FREEDMAN ARIAM FREZGHI HALLIE GOLDEN JOSHUA HA NICOLE KOHN PRISCILA KORB ANDI LIAO BUSHRA MOLLICK MATTHEW MURRAY 38 Jeremy Lin sports 39 Mens B-ball Round-up Games culture Music Comics 35Sleigh Bells 34Awkward Silence 34Boring Rocks 35Lil B 36The Nutshell Zombies opinion 40 PETA 25 The Vow 33 Staller Opera 27 SAC Gallery 22 MFA Thesis Gallery 28 SEX!!! 30 Kevin Harts Revenge 26 Stand Up 8 HOWIE NEWSBERKMAN VANESSA OGLE CAITHLIN PEA ANDY POLHAMUS REBECCA TAPIO MATT WILLEMAIN 24Final Fantasy 32 Tucker Max 41 Birthright 40 EDITORIALS February 21, 2012 4 CALENDAR WARS: ADMINISTRATION MISSTEPS AND USG COWARDICE Stony Brook University has long been one of only three schools in the Association of American Universities to cancel classes for Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah, along wIIh SUNY ualo and randeIs UnIversIIy. NexI year, IhaI IradIIIon Is lIkely Io end. A committee of four administrators has adopted a new academIc calendar wIIh an assorImenI oI sIgnIcanI changes IhaI are meanI Io maxImIze InsIrucIIon IIme, equally respect students of all religions and provide more consistency from year to year, according to Vice Provost Charles RobbIns. The commIIIee meI over Ihe lasI year and a half, and possibly earlier, to discuss the changes, but dId so In compleIe IsolaIIon. Though Ihe changes may be supported with well-founded reasoning on the part of the committee, the secretive process by which the committee drafted the new calendar stripped students and faculty of IheIr rIghI Io weIgh In on such an ImporIanI maIIer. In the past, a committee that included representatives from the University Senate and the Interfaith Center met every ve years Io draII Ihe academIc calendar. I wasnI scheduled Io meeI agaIn unIIl 2U15. y draIIIng a calendar wIIh sIgnIcanI changes IhaI overrode Ihe prevIously adopted calendar, the administration abused its power and assumed authority without seeking proper input about the ImpacI II would have on IaculIy and sIudenIs. The UnIversIIy SenaIe dId well In passIng a resoluIIon February 6 urging the administration to establish a shared governance committee that would include members of the University Senate and the Interfaith Center in drafting an academIc calendar, as had been done Ior many years. So long as proIessors are requIred Io excuse sIudenIs for religious holidays and arrange their syllabi so that major exams or assIgnmenIs arenI scheduled Ihose days, it seems disadvantageous to cancel classes on Rosh Hashanah and Yom KIppur. More concernIng was Ihe commIIIees plan Io schedule nals on SaIurday and Sunday. However, admInIsIraIors In Ihe ProvosIs oce proved willing to negotiate on that matter after discussions wIIh UndergraduaIe SIudenI CovernmenI PresIdenI Mark MalooI and VIce PresIdenI oI AcademIc AaIrs AdIl HusseIn. RobbIns saId IhaI Ihe provosI was lIkely Io nalIze a new calendar IhaI added readIng days beIore nals began and lImIIed nals Io weekdays, buI classes wIll be held on Rosh Hashanah and Yom KIppur wIIhouI negoIIaIIon. Though Ihe admInIsIraIIon has admIIIed no wrongdoIng In Ihe process by whIch II draIIed Ihe calendar and II hasnI IndIcaIed IhaI II would aIIempI Io gaIher sucIenI InpuI from the campus community before making changes in the future, the fact that it was willing to negotiate on some changes to the calendar is a sign that it does consider sIudenI and IaculIy InpuI ImporIanI. However, the fact that the administration did not consider any outside input on its decision to hold classes on IewIsh holIdays Is unaccepIable. USC SenaIor DavId Adams drafted a resolution rejecting the process by which the new calendar was created and demanded that the changes not be ImplemenIed. WIIhouI Ihe approprIaIe or adequaIe InpuI, Ihe resoluIIon says, Ihe new calendar Is IllegIIImaIe. But the USG Senate voted it down, and in doing so failed to send a message to the administration that it would not tolerate such a front on its right to represent the student body. According to the minutes of the February 9 USG meeting, there was concern that such a demanding resolution would damage USCs abIlIIy Io negoIIaIe wIIh Ihe admInIsIraIIon on Issues In Ihe IuIure. So long as Ihe governIng body that is meant to represent the students panders to the administration rather than demanding a say on important Issues, II Is a Iar cry Irom eecIIve. ThIs mosI recenI breach of trust sets a particularly sorry precedent of cowardly appeasemenI In place oI legIIImaIe represenIaIIon. ...Ihe new calen- dar stripped stu- dents and faculty of their right to weIgh In... EDITORIALS Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 EDITORIALS February 21, 2012 6 FROM USG AND CAMPUSVINE, AN EARNEST EFFORT the Undergraduate Student Government has been going out of its way to improve its strained relationship with campus clubs and organIzaIIons. Is a noIIceable change Ior USC, and IIs a welcome one. PresIdenI Mark MalooI sIarIed IhIs Irend by IssuIng an execuIIve order Ihe rsI week back Irom break. I called Ior a revIew and subsequenI revIsIons Io Ihe nancIal bylaws, whIch were rewrIIIen over Ihe summer. MalooI saId IhaI hIs decision was based on a number of complaints from stu- denI clubs and organIzaIIons. The problems some clubs have Iaced are real and soluIIons are necessary. Restrictive caps on how much clubs are able to spend on guesI speakers have meanI IhaI mId-sIzed evenIs, as MalooI reIers Io Ihem, have been nexI Io ImpossIble Ior anyone buI Ihe SIudenI AcIIvIIIes oard Io hold. Treasurer Thomas KIrnbauer, who helped wrIIe Ihe by- laws, has shown IhaI he Is recepIIve Io change. Hes also exhIbIIed hIs dedIcaIIon Io ImprovIng Ihe way USC handles the process in which it assigns budgets to each club by of- fering to shoulder more work than the previous treasurer dId. The Iown halls IhaI PresIdenI MalooI called Ior were an encouraging sign that USG is actively pursuing better com- munication with clubs and is genuinely interested in which regulaIIons are causIng clubs Ihe mosI sIress. Unfortunately, the two meetings were sparsely attend- ed, Io say Ihe leasI. AI Thursdays meeIIng, a Press reporIer was Ihe only one Io show up besIdes Treasurer KIrnbauer. USG certainly could have better advertised the town halls. The daIes and IImes were noI posIed on IheIr websIIe and if clubs were sent emails containing said information, The Press wasnI lucky enough Io receIve one. ncredIbly, USC dIdnI shy away aIIer Ihe experIence. n a room packed Iull oI club ocers, KIrnbauer announced the date of yet another town hall in the hopes that students would show up Io IhIs one. When II was lIIerally a sIIuaIIon oI lIIe or deaIh Ior a few clubs, Kirnbauer and the USG Senate were forgiving and quIck Io resIore clubs abIlIIy Io IuncIIon. A provIsIon In Ihe nancIal bylaws, IhaI dIdnI exIsI lasI year, sIaIes IhaI clubs IhaI donI hold evenIs on campus will be stripped oI IheIr IundIng. When IhIs happened to 15 clubs, the appropriate parties were contacted, a post was made on the USG website and the appeals process was clearly explaIned. The senaIe acIed responsIbly by realIzIng IhaI Ihe new bylaws were far from perfect and that newer provisions, lIke Ihe one aecIIng Ihese clubs, were noI well known. They voIed Io resIore lIne budgeI sIaIus Io each oI Ihe clubs, wIIhouI condIIIon. KIrnbauer helped Ihem apply Ior new budgets and the senate approved, only opting for a ve percenI cuI Io all Ihe clubs Ihey had Io resIore. The besI Idea, proposed by SenaIor Ryann WIllIams, would have been a case-by-case examInaIIon oI why each club was unable to spend money during the fall semester, followed by a determination of if they deserved their full budgeI back, or II Ihey deserved less. Sadly, Ihe resI oI Ihe senaIe wasnI InIeresIed. The changes Io Ihe budgeI applIcaIIon process are even more promIsIng, as Ihey oer Io sysIemaIIcally Improve communIcaIIon beIween clubs and Ihe Ireasurers oce. Until this year, USG would meet with clubs once to deIermIne IheIr budgeI. Clubs would aIIend a hearIng In which they requested a certain amount of money from a commIIIee, and wouldnI hear back unIIl Ihe nal release oI Ihe budgeI Ior Ihe nexI year. KIrnbauer Is changIng IhaI. HIs oce wIll be sendIng clubs a draII budgeI beIore IheIr hearIngs. The hearIngs wouldnI be Ihe rsI IIme IhaI Ihe Iwo parIIes would be communicating and it would be a time for them to work out IheIr dIerences. ThaIs IaIrer Ior clubs, even II II means more work Ior USC. Then Iheres CampusvIne. y replacIng AllocaIe wIIh a far more comprehensive budget management service, USC Is seIIIng clubs up Ior success. The new program Is de- sIgned Io make llIng ouI a voucher lIke llIng ouI an order Iorm onlIne, compleIe wIIh drop down menus and all. WhaIs more, Ihe program Is desIgned lIke a socIal neI- workIng sIIe. I has an In-sIIe Inbox synced Io anoIher In- box oI Ihe users choIce. Club members wIll be able Io com- munIcaIe more eecIIvely wIIh boIh each oIher and USC. Theyll be able Io Irack IheIr vouchers Ihrough every sIep oI Ihe process. Is whaI clubs needed and now IIs whaI Ihey have. Since the start of the spring semester, NEWS Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 7 SIony rook UnIversIIys academIc calendar wIll un- dergo a number oI changes nexI Iall, IncludIng an end Io the tradition of cancelling classes on Rosh Hashanah and Yom KIppur. The new calendar, draIIed by a commIIIee oI Iour admInIsIraIors, also schedules nals Ior weekday classes on Saturday and Sunday, though that is likely to be amended after negotiations with the Undergraduate Stu- dent Government Senate, according to Vice Provost Charles RobbIns. The admInIsIraIIon Is ImplemenIIng Ihe changes Io create a calendar that is consistent and predictable from year to year with as much equal recognition and respect as possible for our diverse campus community that provides maxImum InsIrucIIon Ior sIudenIs In Ihe mosI ecIenI and eecIIve manner, accordIng Io a presenIaIIon gIven by RobbIns aI Ihe February 16 USC meeIIng. The commIIIee was concerned wIIh maxImIzIng class time for courses with labs, which are often hurt by class cancellaIIons and make-up days. Under Ihe new calendar, spring break will take place after the seventh week of class during the spring semester, which is more logical than ty- ing it to Easter and Passover much later in the semester, accordIng Io RobbIns. Our goal is to increase the level of respect for every- body, RobbIns saId. Were IryIng Io be InclusIve, noI ex- clusIve. Robbins said the committee of four administrators had been meeIIng Ior approxImaIely Ihe lasI year and a halI Io dIscuss Ihe changes Io Ihe calendar. ThaI dIered Irom Ihe traditional calendar-drafting process carried out by a com- mittee of administrators, faculty and representatives of Ihe nIerIaIIh CenIer every ve years. The commIIIee was scheduled Io meeI nexI In 2U15, when II was Io consIder alIerIng Ihe calendar In consIderaIIon oI MuslIm holIdays. On February 6, the University Senate passed a resolu- tion urging the administration to create a shared gover- nance committee that would include members of the In- IerIaIIh CenIer, Ihe UnIversIIy SenaIe and sIudenIs. The admInIsIraIors changes Io Ihe calendar have an- gered the Jewish community on campus, who fear Jewish sIudenIs wIll be unIaIrly penalIzed Ior mIssIng class on Yom KIppur and Rosh Hashanah. RabbI Ioseph Tobeck oI SIony rooks nIerIaIIh CenIer saId Ihe new calendar wIll Iorce sIudenIs Io ask Io be excused on relIgIous holIdays and Iac- ulIy members may noI comply. Students are going to have to go begging to their pro- Iessors, sayIng wIll noI be able Io come Io class, saId Tobeck. I creaIes an unleveled playIng eld beIween sIu- denIs and IaculIy members. IhInk Ihere wIll be a negaIIve eecI academIcally, saId Tobeck. Those wIll end up beIng empIy days because a loI oI sIudenIs and IaculIy wIll noI show up. I wIll dam- age SIony rooks Image In Ihe communIIy. According to Robbins, the population of Jewish stu- denIs on campus Is approxImaIely 8 percenI, much lower Ihan II had been decades ago. He saId admInIsIraIors Iound II dIculI Io jusIIIy cancellIng classes Ior Ihe relIgIous holI- days oI only one relIgIous group. USC PresIdenI Mark MalooI presenIed Ihe new calen- dar Io Ihe SenaIe aI IIs February 2 meeIIng. USC expressed anger at the administration for failing to include student and faculty input in the drafting process, especially when a ve-year plan had already been agreed upon. MalooI and VIce PresIdenI oI AcademIc AaIrs, AdIl Hussein, met with Robbins in the weeks following the pre- sentation to discuss a new calendar that would include readIng days beIore nals week and schedule nals only on weekdays. HusseIn saId he wasnI pleased wIIh Ihe lack of student input in the drafting process, but he was satis- ed IhaI Ihe admInIsIraIIon heard IheIr concerns and wIll do IhIngs dIerenIly In Ihe IuIure. USC SenaIor DavId Adams proposed a resoluIIon IhaI rejects the process by which the calendar was drafted and demands that the senate be granted its constitutional right to represent the student body on matters of impor- Iance, and IhaI Ihe changes noI be made. The resoluIIon IaIled, on parI due Io Iear IhaI II would harm USCs abIlIIy to negotiate with the administration in the future, accord- Ing Io Adams. Robbins said that the newly amended calendar, which has been presenIed Io ProvosI DennIs AssanIs, Is lIkely Io be approved. MedIa RelaIIons ocer Lauren Sheprow says the calendar will be released to the students and faculty once all decIsIons regardIng II have been nalIzed. She also maInIaIned IhaI Ihere wIll be an updaIed versIon nexI year. The 2U12-13 academIc calendar Is sIIll In process oI beIng nalIzed, saId Sheprow In an emaIl. A versIon oI II has been presented to the USG Senate and feedback was receIved and [Is] beIng Iaken InIo consIderaIIon. When Ihe calendar Is nal II wIll be presenIed Io Ihe enIIre campus communIIy. CHANGES TO STONY BROOKS ACADEMIC CALENDAR INEVITABLE by John Fischer 8 NEWS February 21, 2012 an upgraded version of Allocate, Undergraduate Student Government Treasurer Thomas KIrnbauer announced SaIurday. Because of the two changes, the budget allocation process will look sIgnIcanIly dIerenI IhIs year Ihan In years pasI. Kirnbauer told a Student Activities Center auditorium half-full of club ocers IhaI Ihe new processes would give them more of an opportunity to have [IheIr voIces] heard. FIrsI, KIrnbauer explaIned, clubs will submit a spreadsheet containing a detailed account of how much money Iheyll need Ior Ihe nexI academIc year and how they intend to spend II. Theyll Ihen receIve a draII budgeI Irom Ihe Ireasurers oce In mId- March. ThaI process used Io Iake place aI Ihe budgeI hearIngs. ThIs year, Ihe hearings will be used as a forum to dIscuss Ihe draII budgeIs. By no means is it going to be Ihe nal budgeI IhaI youre goIng to be getting at the end of the year, KIrnbauer saId oI Ihe draII budgeIs. He indicated USG would be open to hearIng clubs concerns and IhaI clubs would be more aware of what their 2U12-2U13 budgeIs wIll be beIore Ihey are announced. Is noI goIng Io be a surprIse Io anyone aI Ihe end oI Ihe year, he saId. He did, however, warn clubs that USG is on a restrictive budget of three mIllIon dollars. ThaI we gave you, quIpped a sIudenI In Ihe crowd. But skepticism quickly turned to excIIemenI when AllocaIe creaIor and Clubs applying for their budgets this semester will be introduced to draft budgets and Campusvine, SIony rook alumnus Alex DImIIrIyadI Iook Ihe sIage Io InIroduce CampusvIne, a drasIIc ImprovemenI on hIs orIgInal budgeI allocaIIon soIIware. Dver Ihe lasI year and a halI now, weve been geIIIng Ieedback anecdoIally, saId DImIIrIyadI, acknowledgIng Ihe complaInIs Ihe soIIware had InspIred. He also launched a survey on AllocaIe Io learn whaI club ocers mosI wanIed Irom Ihe sIIe. The resulIs were dIsplayed In word cloud Ior Ihe club ocers beIore DImIIrIyadI wenI on Io explaIn how Ihe IeaIures would be IncorporaIed InIo CampusvIne. A NEW ALLOCATE AND A NEW BUDGET PROCESS by Trevor Christian Photo by Mike Pedersen NEWS Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 9 FORMER UN AMBASSADOR FOR WOMENS SOCIAL PROGRESS by Bushra Mollick Ambassador Anwarul Karim Chowdhury led Thursdays provosI lecIure aI Ihe Wang Center as he discussed United Nations Security CouncIl ResoluIIon 1325 on Women and Peace B Security, a plan that aims to implement the active participation of women in political decision- makIng InIernaIIonally. Born in Bangladesh, Ihe UnIversIIy oI Dhaka graduate began his diplomatic ventures In 1567. He served as angladeshs PermanenI RepresenIaIIve Ior Ihe UnIIed Nations from 1996-2001, and is most noted for his work in 2UUU IhaI led Io Ihe evenIual creaIIon oI ResoluIIon 1325. Chowdhury has also formerly served as President of the SecurIIy CouncIl, PresIdenI oI Ihe UnIIed NaIIons ChIldrens Fund ExecuIIve oard (UNCEF} and VIce PresIdenI oI Ihe EconomIc and SocIal CouncIl oI Ihe UN. DId you know IhaI we Iake more Ihan 21 Ihousand breaths a day? But most of us use only 50 percent of our lungs capacIIy, he began, careIully annuncIaIIng each word, The same Is Irue abouI Ihe worlds seven bIllIon people, he continued, making an analogy to our global use oI human resources. AlIhough women have come a long way socially in the United States, the same certainly cannot be saId Ior women worldwIde. UnIorIunaIely, many culIures still embrace the concept that women are subordinate to men, and IheIr laws oIIen mIrror Ihe same Idea. ResoluIIon 1325 came InIo eecI In March 2UUU and urges Member SIaIes Io Increase IheIr volunIary nancIal, technical and logistical support for gender-sensitive IraInIng eorIs. The agenda consIsIs oI Ihree ImporIanI prIncIples: ProIecIIon, PrevenIIon, and ParIIcIpaIIon. Protection is necessary because women are usual targets Ior menIal, physIcal and sexual vIolence, They are Ihe worsI vIcIIms oI war, Chowdhury sIaIed. I Is a naIIons internal duty to prevent violence towards women, and lasIly II Is a naIIons acIIve duIy Io IncorporaIe women InIo communIIy aaIrs. WhIle Chowdhurys ResoluIIon conIInues Io grow in popularity among western cultures, it has yet to be accepIed elsewhere. DI Ihe 153 UnIIed NaIIons members, only 3/ have prepared plans Io pursue Ihe IurIher socIal progressIon oI women. angladesh, Chowdhurys naIIon oI orIgIn, has yeI Io creaIe a course. Perhaps Ihe greaIesI Issue aI hand Is educaIIon. Education has emerged as one intervention women can do eecIIvely, he remarked. Clobally, women make up over 6U percenI oI Ihose who are IllIIeraIe. n order Ior any social justice to be served, women must takeand have the opportunity to takethe most crucial step of education to achIeve any equalIIy aI all. I became clear IhaI Ihe soIIware would be dIerenI Irom AllocaIe as soon as DImIIrIyadI logged InIo Ihe demo. Campusvine features a dashboard with regular updates on vouchers and oIher noIIcaIIons vIsIble on Ihe home page. A messagIng IeaIure In whIch club members could contact each other through Campusvine is included, as well. Club ocers wIll also have access Io a lIsI oI approved vendors and will be able to choose which email address noIIcaIIons are senI Io. Josh Graham, the president of the bowling club on campus, has been through budget allocations before and he had sIruggled wIIh AllocaIe. The budgeI IsnI Ihere. They never updaIe II, never Iell you how much money Ihey have leII, he saId. WIIh CampusvIne, IhaI wIll change. There Is a new Iool IhaI wIll allow ocers Io see how much oI IheIr budgeI has been spent and how much has been allocated and is awaIIIng USC approval. As you have more and more events, you can see how much money you have left and budget appropriately, said DImIIrIyadI when InIroducIng Ihe IeaIure. lIke II, acIually. ll have see how II goes, saId Craham oI Ihe Iool. He descrIbed Ihe meeIIng as yeI anoIher success Ior USC. Every year they seem to do something to help out clubs a lIIIle bII, he saId. The semInar wenI so well Ihere was even a small mIracle aI Ihe end. ThIs Is one oI Ihe mosI convIncIng USC evenIs ve ever been Io, saId KrIssy AgaIhos, a WUS hosI and sIudenI acIIvIsI known as a harsh crIIIc Io everyIhIng USC does. Theyre nally doIng sIu rIghI, she saId. 10 10 NEWS February 21, 2012 GIVING A YARN by Jen Novotny The words knIIIIng and college student do not often appear In Ihe same senIence. Then agaIn, neIIher do Ihe words charIIy and college sIudenI. But all three of these come to- gether in the form of a new club aI SIony rook called We CIve a Yarn. The group has only had Iwo meeIIngs so Iar. nIeresIed sIu- dents have come together to knit and crocheI. Some are workIng on their own projects, and others use the abundant donated yarn Io make charIIable IIems. IhInk IIs preIIy cool Io be able to make something practi- cal, while at the same time being creative about it, club member Ion HunI saId. Hunt has attended both of the meetings and has started learning basic crochet tech- niques from co-founders Emma ChylInskI and TaIIana Pawelec, who welcome boIh experIenced knitters and novices to the group. It was very frustrating at rsI, buI II has goIIen easIer, HunI saId. m hopIng Io acIu- ally make someIhIng soon. Ravelry.com Is a knIIIIng Io- rum that Chylinski spends a lot oI IIme on. She saId she posIed the idea for her club there and received an enthusiastic re- sponse. ThaI response has re- sulIed In ChylInskIs closeI beIng sIued Iull oI donaIed yarn. One local woman donated a particularly large amount of yarn, asking that the group use it to make hats for her church, which will then donate them to cancer paIIenIs. Chylinski said they are us- ing squares made while teaching new members, as well as random squares from other knitters and crocheters, to make baby blan- keIs Io donaIe Io Ihe hospIIal. Other than that, Chylinski says Photo by Andrey Dotsenko Ihe group Is open Io suggesIIons Ior oIher places Io donaIe. CurrenIly, Ihe group Is meeIIng In Ihe basemenI oI Sanger College In Tabler uad wIIh Ihe blessIng oI ResIdence Hall DIrecIor MIchael lackman. As long as we donI have more than like 20 people or break anything, Chylinksi said, the club should be allowed Io sIay. NEWS Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 11 lana Dzernoy, Iormer foreign correspondent for U.S. News and World ReporI ILANA OZERNOY: A WOMAN OF COURAGE by Nicole Kohn lana Dzernoy, Iormer IoreIgn correspondenI Ior U.S. News & World Report saId on February 1/ In Ihe SAC audIIorIum IhaI she has come Io Ieach aI SIony rook because [she] dIdnI wanI Io lIve a lIIe based around oIher peoples sIo- rIes. wanIed Io Iell my sIory. wanIed Io Ieach, Dzernoy saId. The 3/-year-old accepIed an oer Irom Dean oI IournalIsm School, Howard SchneIder, Io Ieach aI Ihe unIversIIy. Dzernoy explaIned IhaI when she was eIghI-years-old she and her IamIly ed Irom RussIa as polIIIcal reIugees. FIIIeen years laIer, she Iook up reporIIng, sIarIIng weeks aIIer Ihe 5l11 aIIacks. wenI down Io Cround Zero wIIh IhIs slIghIly legal press card, she saId. From Ihere she goI on a plane Io Moscow, yIng back Io Ihe place she had leII 15 years earlIer. wanIed Io go home, really wanIed Io go home. She Ihen Iraveled Io AIghanIsIan Io cover Ihe baIIle agaInsI Ihe TalIban. WrIIIng Ior U.S. News & World Report and The Boston Globe, she followed the NorIhern AllIance whIle Ihe rebel army pushed IIs way Iowards Kabul. dIdnI IhInk oI myselI as a war correspondenI, Dzernoy saId, saw my- selI as a correspondenI coverIng Ihe war. AI 16-years-old, she goI her rsI job aI Ihe Cap. eIore she goI Ihe job, she would regularly shop there with her parents and she would always see the door to the Employees Only lounge; she wondered whaI happened In sIde. When she goI Ihe job, II was Ihe rsI place she wenI. The day goI Io go InIo Ihe em- ployees lounge was the greatest day of my 16-year-old lIIe, Dzernoy saId. ThaI Is whaI journalIsm Is, havIng IhaI urge Io nd ouI whaI was behInd IhaI employee door. AIghanIsIan Is one bIg, huge employees lounge, Dz- ernoy added. Krisald Bala, a senior biology major said, Her story inspired me, and I be- lieve it did so with much of the audi- ence, addIng, The message goI was Io belIeve whaI you do In lIIe. When Dzernoy reIurned back Io Ihe U.S. she suered Irom posI-IraumaIIc sIress dIsorder. She descrIbed Ihe mo- ments of joy she had just going to pick up her dry cleaning down the street, or IakIng a rIde Io Whole Foods. I kept asking myself, what is real? s payIng / Ior a cup oI coee real, or [is] being shot at real? Brittany Stapelfeld, a freshman journalIsm major saId, WhIle some oI the stories she told were scary it also made me feel like my dream to be a journalist was achievable as long as I am willing to be as courageous as Ilana Is. leII Ihe evenI moIIvaIed Io do whaI- ever II Iakes Io achIeve my goals. Dean SchneIder saId he Is lookIng Iorward Io workIng wIIh Dzernoy In Ihe IuIure. Dzernoy had acIually Iurned an audIence members quesIIon regardIng IhaI same IuIure Io Dean SchneIder. When was asked where was sendIng her nexI, saId InIo Ihe class- room, because I want her to inspire, he saId. Dzernoy gave Ihe audIence greaI guIdance explaInIng IhaI, RejecIIon Is noI personable. When Ihe nIghI was over the audience walked out of the au- ditorium with a whole new perspective oI Ihe job oI a war correspondenI. wanIed Io IesI myselI. wanIed Io walk Ihrough re and come ouI un- scaIhed, Dzernoy saId. My lIIe Is Io be dened as Ihe sum oI my work. 11 12 12 NEWS February 21, 2012 Occupy everything! cried of thousands of protestors around the United States and even the world at the end of 2011, as the 99 percent voiced their complaints against corporaIIons, Ihe governmenI and bIg banks. As the Occupy movement spread to campuses, a group of students picked up on the idea and decided to form a Stony Brook chapter of the movement, protesting against rIsIng IuIIIon Iees and seemIngly Incongruous Iees (Ihe Ierm academIc excellence comes Io mInd}. Now, in semester two, you could be forgiven for thinking that the Occupy Stony Brook movement had been evicted from the agenda of on-campus activists, much the same way that the protestors were booted out of their inner-city encampmenIs. uI lasI Monday, Dccupy SIony rook made a comeback in the form of somewhat abstract posters dotted throughout campus. The mosI common posIer showed a Iable oI beer boIIles and asked Ihe vIewer AcademIc Excellence Fee or 1UU cans oI beer? ConIused? Some sIudenIs were. dIdnI really undersIand whaI Ihey meanI, saId Leanne Skrabacz, a IechnologIcal sysIems managemenI major. uI accordIng Io Ihe posIers creaIor, who asked Io remain nameless, the posters were intended to focus on Issues IhaI hII close Io home, lIke Ihe academIc excellence fee that was announced at the end of last semester by the UnIversIIy. The posIers IdenIIed Iwo IIems oI greaI ImporIance to the general student publicbeer and moneyand told readers to protest the bullshit at the Occupy Stony Brook Ceneral Assembly meeIIngs every Monday evenIng aI 5:3U. We had only a Iew new members, saId Ihe anonymous posIer desIgner. IhInk II we do more and redesIgn Ihe posters with our audience in mind, it could be more successIul. Fellow occupier, Roger Palomeque, a senior computer engIneerIng major Is noI so sure. Theres a dIsconnecI In terms of communication, said Palomeque. Dccupy SIony Brook is non-hierarchical; Iheres no cenIral auIhorIIy. The anonymous posIer designer agreed, saying that there is no leadership, but that there are advantages and disadvantages to the Occupy sIrucIure. The Dccupy movemenI is a direct democracy, so all decisions and actions are much slower because you have to listen to everyone, the designer saId. uI changIng would deIeaI parI oI Ihe movemenI. The Iocus oI IhIs semesIers Occupy movement is a renouncement of the SUNY 2020 billa bill that allows state schools in New York to Increase IuIIIon Iees by 3UU per year Ior Ihe nexI ve years. By occupying areas like the SAC lobby and putting up posIers IhaI appeal Io a sIudenIs sensIbIlIIIes, Dccupy Stony Brook is attempting to awaken a rebellion within the walls of Stony Brook and, according to our anonymous source, geI people InIeresIed In acIIvIsm. Perhaps Ihe nexI logIcal sIraIegy wIll be Io oer Iree beer aI Ihe Ceneral Assembly, InsIead oI pIcIures oI II. STONY BROOK MOVEMENT OCCUPIED WITH FEES by Olivia Burne Photo by Ethan Freedman FEATURES Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 13 An empIy plasIIc Aquana boIIle, a sIack oI old papers Irom lasI semesIers classes and halI oI an uneaIen burrIIo Irom Kelly DInIng. WhaI do all oI Ihese IhIngs have In com- mon? They are all maIerIals IhaI can easIly be recycled as parI oI SIony rook UnIversIIys parIIcIpaIIon In Ihe RecycleMa- nIa compeIIIIon. The conIesI, whIch runs Ior eIghI weeks during the spring semester, is a way to get students more Involved and engaged In posIIIve recyclIng habIIs. Is a IaIr and IrIendly compeIIIIon and we enjoy beIng a parI oI IhaI because IIs really jusI a wonderIul opporIu- nIIy when workIng wIIh Ihe conIesI, saId MIchael Youdel- man, Ihe Manager oI RecyclIng and Resource ManagemenI, also Ihe represenIaIIve Ior SIony rook. Is a porIal Ior us Io do ouIreach and IIs also an opporIunIIy or a gaIeway Io reInvIgoraIe dIerenI areas around Ihe campus lIke cam- pus dInIng. ThIs year, over 6UU colleges and unIversIIIes Irom all over the United States and Canada are participating in the contest, which started on February 5 and will run until March 31. DurIng Ihose eIghI weeks, campus represenIa- tives from each school are responsible for weighing and re- cording the amount of traditional materials being recycled every day. Those maIerIals Include mIxed papers, boIIles, cans, wasted food and, a new category this year, electron- Ics. All materials that are placed in proper recycling units are loaded onto trucks which are then weighed on a large scale. AIIer subIracIIng Ihe weIghI oI Ihe Iruck, Ihe amounI of recycled materials are then recorded and taken to proper recyclIng IacIlIIIes. We uIIlIze our own unIversIIy Iruck scale, IhaIs cer- IIed so our numbers are real, saId Youdelman reIerrIng to other schools that rely on outside vendors in order to obIaIn measuremenIs IhaI mIghI noI be enIIrely accuraIe. Is a real advanIage. Outside of the recycling component of the competi- tion, another major element is getting students active and aware oI Ihe ImporIance oI recyclIng. Campus ResIdences have a huge parI In IhaI eorI as resIdenI assIsIanIs were asked to assemble bulletin boards in the lobby of every dorm building highlighting the importance of recycling and whaI sIudenIs can do Io help. The paper- and boIIle- covered boards display signs informing students what can and cannot be recycled and giving further information abouI Ihe compeIIIIon. The boards were parI oI a compeII- tion among residence halls which was aimed at getting the sIudenI communIIy Involved as well. Is an InIeresIIng way Io geI sIudenIs Involved oIher than just the normal, day to day telling someone to recy- cle, said Casey Kurnath, an environmental studies major and sIudenI ouIreach coordInaIor aI Ihe unIversIIy. Is an alIernaIIve meIhod IhaI geIs peoples compeIIIIve sIde and IheIr school spIrII sIde goIng. Campus DInIng also has a hand In Ihe conIesI, as Ihey are responsible for measuring and recording the amount of Iood IhaI Is beIng wasIed aI each dInIng locaIIon every day. The rsI seI oI resulIs wIll noI come In Ior anoIher week sInce Ihe rsI Iwo weeks are prImarIly a IrIal perIod. Along wIIh Iood wasIe managemenI, Campus DInIng also oers reusable cups and mugs that reduce the number of card- board cups each sIudenI uses a day. LeIs say you were goIng IwIce a day, you geI a cup, and youre IhrowIng IhaI cup away, saId Youdelman. TImes IhaI by 1U,UUU sIudenIs who lIve on campus, [or Ihe] 27,UUU sIudenIs aIIendIng. I adds up. All this week, student outreach coordinators were busy makIng sure oces IhroughouI Ihe campus had recyclIng bIns. They also made sIudenIs and IaculIy members aware oI Ihe new addIIIon oI e-wasIe recyclIng, as well as oce clean-ouIs Ior paper and oIher recyclable maIerIals. n 2U11, Ihe RecycleManIa compeIIIIon managed Io increase the total recycling rate among all participating schools Irom 2/.37 percenI Io 27.75 percenI durIng Ihe course oI Ihe conIesI. SIony rook UnIversIIy alone saw an 11.55 percenI Increase aI Ihe end oI lasI years compeII- IIon, a number organIzers hope Io beaI IhIs IIme around. We use RecycleManIa as an opporIunIIy Io reInvIgo- raIe Ihe recyclIng InIrasIrucIure, Youdelman saId. Were In Ihe game, were compeIIng and our hope Is IhaI more and more sIudenIs, IaculIy and sIa wIll become aware. RECYCLEMANIA by Amanda Douville 14 FEATURES February 21, 2012 Courage WolI, move on over. AdvIce Dog, sIep asIde. Wole, SIony rooks mascoI, Is now by Iar Ihe mosI popu- lar canIne-based meme on campus. SU Memes, a Facebook Ian page IhaI was launched on Wednesday, has become an InsIanI SIony rook phe- nomenon. y Ihe IIme SU Memes had been on Facebook Ior a day, II had already amassed 1,UUU lIkes. A week laIer, Ihe number was jusI shy oI 3,5UU. The memes are IypIcally shared by scores of students and seen by hundreds of their IrIends. Iess PaIrovIc, Ihe creaIor oI SU Memes, saId she was InspIred by osIon UnIversIIys meme page. honesIly wasnI InIo memes beIore made IhIs page, she said, adding how shocked she was that it became so popular. dIdnI expecI II Io blow up IhaI quIckly aI all. ThIs cerIaInly IsnI Ihe rsI IIme IhaI a collecIIon oI memes has become popular on Ihe nIerneI. mage boards, curated and crowd-sourced alike, have long been favorite desIInaIIons Ior nIerneI users. Tumblr, ReddII and /chan are jusI some oI Ihe meme- lled sIIes IhaI rank among Ihe nIerneIs 1,UUU mosI vIs- IIed websIIes, accordIng Io Alexa, a websIIe IhaI monIIors websIIe Irac. SIIes exclusIvely dedIcaIed Io memes, lIke Knowyourmeme and Meme CeneraIor, arenI Iar behInd. I Is, however, SIony rooks mosI popular dIscussIon Iorum Io daIe. SIony rook ThIngs, a Tumblr blog IeaIur- Ing sImIlar conIenI, never Iook o quIIe Ihe same way. Is picked up popularity in recent days, though many of the newer posIs were orIgInally IeaIured on SU Memes. And unlIke SUChaI, SU Memes Is embracIng Ihe maInsIream. y usIng Facebook, Ihe page has been able Io grow organIcally. The meme IormaI and hosI sIIe also means IhaI Irouble Is less lIkely. The posIs are noI anony- mous and the purpose of the page is to post humorously capIIoned pIcIures. A WIkIleaks-sIyle dumpIng oI sIudenI InIormaIIon on IhIs page seems unlIkely. At its best, the page has put the likes and dislikes, along wIIh Ihe lore oI SIony rook InIo wrIIIng. TheIr dIslIkes In- clude Ihe admInIsIraIIons polIcIes, (RaIses IuIIIon, buIlds hoIel, read one chronologIcally-challenged meme} and geese. RoosevelI and Kelly uads were boIh sIereoIyped: Kelly as a haven for potheads and Roosevelt as a shadowy place and a hood. By far the most popular meme was one that poked fun aI Ihe Tabler sIeps whIle reIerencIng a Iay-Z song. I had more Ihan 1,1UU lIkes and 1UU shares on Thursday. goI 55 problems. 5/ oI Ihem are Ihe Tabler sIeps, reads Ihe meme. The IexI was placed over a phoIo oI Ihe sIeps, covered In snow. Sophomore Emma TobIas became Ihe sIar oI a meme aIIer sharIng a phoIo oI herselI on Ihe Where In Ihe World Is Wole Ian page. n II, shes holdIng a small sIued Wole ouIsIde oI a pagoda In ReadIng, PennsylvanIa. 1 MIllIon USD and well reIurn Ihe wolI, read Ihe meme IhaI used her phoIo, suggesIIng IhaI TobIas had kId- napped Wole and was holdIng hIm Ior ransom, possIbly In ChIna. TobIas wasnI a Ian oI Ihe joke. It took me a minute to remember that it was all just parI oI a joke and could laugh II o, she saId. Still, she enjoys the page and has shared a number of Ihe memes posIed on and by II. THE RISE OF STONY BROOK MEMES by Trevor Christian FEATURES Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 15 Theyre really Iunny as a whole, TobIas saId oI Ihe memes, and it gives us a way to just tell it like it is on cam- pus. Other students have been less emphatic about the memes qualIIy. WhIle sIIIIng Iowards Ihe back oI Ihe USC SenaIe meeI- Ing, Ken Myers, a member oI Ihe SIudenI AcIIvIIIes oard, decIded Io show hIs Iwo IrIends sIIIIng nexI Io hIm a Iew oI Ihe memes. AI rsI Ihey laughed quIeIly, as noI Io dIsrupI Ihe senaIe. uI a Iew memes In, Ihe laughIer sIopped. ThIs Is so sIupId, Myers saId, closIng Ihe wIndow. He laIer explaIned hIs IhoughIs on Ihe page. Some oI Ihem are wrong. People are jusI puIIIng IexI on a pIcIure, he saId. uI Iheyre geIIIng beIIer. Myers poInIed Io some oI Ihe capIIoned pIcIures oI Wole as a sIgn oI Ihe pages ImprovIng qualIIy. acIually reposIed one oI Ihem, he added. Myers expressed concerns abouI memes IhaI were In- sensIIIve Iowards AsIan and AsIan AmerIcan sIudenIs. HIgh ExpecIaIIons AsIan FaIher showed up quIIe a Iew IImes, as dId jokes specIc Io Ihe behavIors oI AsIans on campus. Has Io prInI one page. AsIan In IronI oI you Is prInI- Ing maIh IexIbook, read one meme. SeawolI? Why noI A- wolI? read anoIher. Theyre noI really IhaI oensIve, saId AsIan AmerIcan E-ZInes VIce PresIdenI rIan Loo aIIer lookIng aI some oI Ihe memes IargeIIng AsIans. The publIcaIIons sIa was lookIng aI Ihe memes as he spoke. He saId he had seen some oI Ihe memes beIore SU Memes shared Ihem and IhaI mosI oI Ihem werenI very Iunny. The commenIs, however, were a dIerenI sIory. Adam Sue, Ihe clubs presIdenI, poInIed Io one on a phoIo oI a sIgn IhaI read YDUR N SEAWDLVES CDUNTRY. Damn AsIans wroIe a sIudenI, complaInIng abouI Ihe mIsused your. Even people who were born here make that mistake all the time, said Sue, pointing out that some of the other jokes on the site stereotyped Asians as being good at aca- demIcs, someIhIng he dIdnI mInd. To Ihe campuss credII, a Iew commenIers, boIh AsIan and noI, jumped on Ihe commenI Ior beIng bIgoIed. DIhers blamed Ihe grammaIIcal error on scIence majors. donI boIher IalkIng Io Ihose kInds oI people, saId WIlson IIang, a sIa wrIIer. The group compared Ihe com- menIers Io Ihe Irolls IhaI InhabII sIIes lIke YouTube and IradIIIonal Image boards. The page has cerIaInly noI been wIIhouI IIs crIIIcs. Pa- IrovIc was more Ihan wIllIng Io acknowledge Ihem. The memes are denIIely hII or mIss as a Iew sIudenIs have commenIed. dIdnI expecI everyone Io lIke all oI Ihem, she saId. She mentioned one commenter in particular who ar- gued with a meme joking that everyone on campus is Irom Long sland. So many people are unable to grasp the concept of exaggeraIIon and saIIre, PaIrovIc saId. DbvIously noI ev- eryone here Is Irom Long sland buI /8 percenI Is sIIll a loI A lIIIle hyperbole never hurI anyone. ExcepI IhaI kId, ap- parenIly. PaIrovIcs only Iear was IhaI she would porIray SIony rook In a negaIIve lIghI. She saId a commenIer asked II Stony Brook was a bad place to go to school and that she responded by sayIng she loved II here. dId II Ior laughs, saId PaIrovIc. My sole InIenI was Io make people laugh, to provide an interactive place where students and alum could joke about Stony Brook while re- ally gIvIng everyone a sense oI communIIy. Patrovic shared a quote from a friend that she thought puI Ihe InIenIIon oI her sIIe besI. Wherever you go Io school, you need Io be able Io laugh. Every school has its share of dumb administrative moves, proIessor and Iechnology Issues, and conIused sIudenIs. SBU is a great place, especially if you make it worth your whIle. High Expecta- tions Asian Father, a meme character based on the stereotype of demanding Asian parents, was popular long before SBU Memes. Thanks to the The meme became a mainstay on Stony Brooks page early in its existence. No, your eyes dont deceive you. This Futurama- based meme was inten- tionally left half blank to represent a broken link. :ROH1HW creates them all the time. This isnt the only meme to poke fun DWRXUZL service, but its probably the best. 16 FEATURES February 21, 2012 As one of the most distinguished string ensembles of our IIme, Ihe Emerson SIrIng uarIeI has Iound success In IIs longevIIy. Dver Ihe course oI IheIr 33 years IogeIher, Ihe musicians of Emerson have become giants in the world of classical music with nine Grammy Awards, a never-ending succession of international concert tours and an illustrious body oI recordIngs. However, the quartet recently announced that their lIne-up wIll soon change. Dn February 1/, cellIsI DavId FInckel sIaIed on hIs websIIe IhaI Ihe upcomIng 2U12-13 concerI season would be hIs lasI. FInckel, aI age 6U, co- produces at a record label, runs a summer chamber music IesIIval called MusIc@Menlo and Is arIIsIIc dIrecIor oI Ihe Chamber MusIc SocIeIy oI LIncoln CenIer wIIh hIs wIIe, pIa- nIsI Wu Han. I doesnI surprIse anybody IhaI he mIghI Ieel Ihe need Io have a less hecIIc lIIe, says MusIc DeparImenI ChaIr IudIIh Lochhead. SIony rook UnIversIIy has been proIoundly aecIed by IIs assocIaIIon wIIh Ihe Emerson SIrIng uarIeI. Through Ihe eorIs oI pIano proIessor CIlberI KalIsh, Iormer provosI RoberI McCraIh and Iormer presIdenI ShIrley SIrum-Kenny, Ihe quarIeI was appoInIed as arIIsIs-In-resIdence In 2UU2. As part of their contract Emerson was hired to perform four concerts a year and coach the university chamber music program, cIIed Lochhead. SInce IhaI IIme, Ihe quarIeIs In- volvemenI on campus has grown dramaIIcally. Over the course of teaching at the university, members oI Ihe Emerson SIrIng uarIeI have grown IncreasIngly connecIed Io Ihe sIudenIs oI SIony rook. I became ap- Not only have they been a window into the professional chamber music world, but knowing them as people has InspIred me. CLASSICAL MUSIC GIANTS IN OUR BACKYARD by Sarah Evins FEATURES Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 17 parenI early on IhaI [Emerson vIolInIsI] PhIl SeIzer wanIed Io Ieach more Ihan jusI chamber musIc, explaIned Lochhead. SeIzer Is now a full time tenured professor of violin and is soon to be joined by his col- league. Emerson vIolIsI Larry DuIIon Is expecIed Io begIn hIs Iull-IIme vIola proIessorshIp nexI year. The quarIeI noI only expanded IheIr IeachIng duIIes, buI also gen- eraIed new perIormance opporIunIIIes Ior unIversIIy musIcIans. WhaI began as a contract of four concerts a year has become three formal concerts showcasing recent recorded works and a week long spring chamber musIc IesIIval hIghlIghIIng Ihe IalenIs oI SIony rooks sIu- denI musIcIans. The Emerson FesIIval Is really excIIIng because you acIually geI Io perIorm a chamber pIece wIIh a member oI Ihe Emerson uarIeI, saId sIudenI and vIolInIsI NaIalIe Kress. These concerIs are Iree and open Io Ihe publIc, a huge IncenIIve IhaI has drawn In many members oI Ihe communIIy. n Ihe process oI seeing the world-class Emerson musicians in action, the community has goIIen Io know buddIng IalenIs oI sIudenI musIcIans. FurIhermore, community involvement has been key to fundraising for the music de- parImenI and SIaller CenIer. DI course, Ihere has been evIdence oI Increased IundraIsIng because oI Ihe Emerson SIrIng uarIeI, noIed Lochhead. The consequences oI Ihese acIIve roles on Ihe SIony rook campus have helped the music department grow in notoriety, by giving it a hIgher prole, declared Lochhead. The already presIIgIous deparI- ment has also seen an improvement in recruitment of talented musi- cIans Irom all over Ihe world. Many sIudenIs concur IhaI Emersons presence was a unIque Incen- IIve Io aIIend SU. VIolInIsI and sIudenI Ion lock has been coached and IaughI by members oI Ihe Emerson SIrIng uarIeI. He cIIed IhaI Ihe opporIunIIy Io work wIIh such esIeemed musIcIans was exIremely compellIng. Much oI IheIr advIce Is Immensely InIuIIIve, he says. Through IheIr InsIrucIIon, lock saId he has reached a new level oI mu- sIcIanshIp. Kress is also thankful for the time she has been able to spend with Ihe quarIeI. NoI only have Ihey been a wIndow InIo Ihe proIessIonal chamber musIc world, buI knowIng Ihem as people has InspIred me. These rewardIng experIences oIIen come wIIh a huge prIce Iag. How- ever, having the group at Stony Brook has allowed Kress and her fellow musIcIans Io geI a conservaIory experIence aI a sIaIe unIversIIy. The ImpendIng membershIp change oI Ihe Emerson uarIeI mIghI have sIudenIs and communIIy members IearIng Ior Ihe worsI. Loch- head sees no such mIsIorIune In sIghI. FInckel sIaIed on hIs websIIe that his withdrawal from Emerson will allow him to pursue, with greater energy, [his] increasing number of performing, educational and presenIIng commIImenIs. Lochhead says II Is lIkely IhaI FInckel wIll sIay on Ihe unIversIIy IaculIy, buI In a somewhaI dIerenI capacIIy Ior aI leasI Ihe rsI year oI hIs lIIe IndependenI oI Emerson. The Emerson uarIeI has already lIned up FInckels successor. Lo- chhead clarIes IhaI Ihe cellIsIs deparIure Irom Ihe group wIll noI dI- minish its role on campus because of the arrival of new cellist Paul WaIkIns In Ihe Iall oI 2U13. WaIkIns, a celebraIed solo cellIsI, conduc- Ior, and chamber musIcIan Irom England wIll Iulll FInckels Iormer du- IIes. I changes need Io happen, Ihey wIll be resolved as Ihey come up, saId Lochhead. Finckel, above, will be departing the Emerson String Quartet at the end of this concert season. Watkins, below, will replace him in the fall of 2013 18 FEATURES February 21, 2012 When MIndy Mosher changed her major Irom compuIer scIence Io sIudIo arI wIIh a mInor In dIgIIal arIs, she dIdnI expecI Io Irade In Ihe IexIbook expenses Io whIch we are accusIomed Ior cosIly, mandaIory arI supplIes. Is denIIely way more expensIve Io be an arI major Ihan a compuIer scIence major, she says. The 3U-year old senIor spenI 22U on supplIes Ior a phoIography class lasI semesIer. The cosI mosIly covered lm, negaIIve sheeIs and paper. To her convenIence, she dIdnI have Io buy a camera because she already had one. uI Ior her dIgIIal arIs class IhIs semesIer, Mosher says her proIessor Iold her class Io expecI Io spend abouI 3UU on paper and Ink. For Mosher, Ihese expenses are noI easy Io cover. m noI made oI money, she says, addIng IhaI shes noI Ihe only one complaInIng. hear IhIs Irom every arI sIudenI ve come In conIacI wIIh. MosI arI courses aI SIony rook requIre sIudenIs Io pur- chase their own supplies in addition to paying a studio fee, which is supposed to go towards materials and equipment upkeep. From oIl pasIels Io clay Io phoIo paper, sIudenIs can spend anywhere from $200 to $500 on art supplies per class, and the costs add up with every course a student Iakes. The unIversIIy does provIde chemIcals, Ihough. MarIIn LevIne, a prInImakIng proIessor and Ihe under- graduate director for the art department, says students have been payIng Ior supplIes Ior years. Due In parI Io bud- geI cuIs, he says Ihere arenI enough Iunds Io cover sala- rIes and oIher expenses whIle also provIdIng supplIes Ior hundreds oI sIudenIs. There Is noI enough IundIng Io oer scholarshIps, eIIher. Is never goIng Io happen wIIh low IuIIIon, he says. Theres jusI noI enough money. There are also poIenIIal Issues wIIh provIdIng every sIudenI wIIh hIs or her own share oI supplIes, LevIne says. Some students may use more paper or drawing materials than others, which would leave some with rations that last a whole semesIer and oIhers empIy-handed by mIdIerms. There Is also Ihe possIbIlIIy oI sIudenIs abusIng Ihe sup- plIes by sellIng IheIr surpluses. Stony Brook is more than well-known for its focus on scIence and maIhemaIIcs, II Is a research unIversIIy rsI and IoremosI. The IaculIy Is layered wIIh award-wInnIng STUDYING ART: THE PRICEY PICTURE by Alyssa Melillo FEATURES Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 19 scholars, and the university fosters its own hospital and a relaIIonshIp wIIh rookhaven NaIIonal LaboraIory. Numer- ous grants, awards and donationsincluding the $150 mil- lion Simons donation received last semesterhave been dedicated to the advancements the students and faculty manage in mathematics, engineering, chemistry and biol- ogy. So much emphasIs and prIorIIy Is placed on Ihese cur- ricula that the smaller majors and minors studied at Stony rook can easIly be overlooked. ecause oI IhIs repuIaIIon, and the fact that they have to buy their own supplies, many sIudenIs lIke Mosher assume IhaI arI Is underIunded com- pared Io oIher majors. AccordIng Io lasI years UnIversIIy DperaIIng udgeI, art was one of the lowest funded departments in the Col- lege oI ArIs and ScIences. I receIved 2.1 mIllIon compared Io 3.5 mIllIon Ior musIc, 2./ mIllIon Ior EnglIsh, 3.1 mIl- lIon Ior hIsIory and 2.5 mIllIon Ior polIIIcal scIence, Ior example. ScIence deparImenIs, especIally ones InvolvIng research, receIved anywhere Irom 5.1 mIllIon (geoscIenc- es} Io 13.6 mIllIon (chemIsIry}. For mosI deparImenIs, Ihe majority of a budget is allocated for salaries, so the amount oI IaculIy and sIa Is one IacIor IhaI deIermInes how much IundIng Ihey receIve. Some deparImenIs requIre several Ihousand dollars worIh oI equIpmenI. DIhers, such as arI, Iund o-campus-alIaIed IacIlIIIes: Ihe arI deparImenIs budget funds the Pollack-Krasner House and the Study Center in East Hampton, which the Stony Brook Foundation operaIes. Many deparImenIs also receIve granIs IhaI Ihe FoundaIIon handles as well. LevIne says Ihe arI deparImenI has requesIed addI- tional funding in the past, but the university never granted the requests, and a university budget representative de- clIned Io commenI. However, Ior IhIs academIc year, ac- cording to the University Operating Budget, the art depart- menI receIves more IundIng by almosI 1UU,UUU. SalarIes and wages make up Ior 2 mIllIon oI IhIs years 2.2 mIllIon budgeI whIle 157,UUU cover supplIes and expenses. SIu- denIs arI Iees IoIal Io roughly 25,5UU, 17,UUU coverIng supplIes and 8,5UU beIng puI Iowards salarIes and wages. uI allocaIIon Ior equIpmenI dropped sIgnIcanIly Irom lasI year Io IhIs year. LasI year abouI 16,UUU wenI towards equipment the majority of it came from a grant and IhIs year 1,UUU Is allocaIed Ior IhaI purpose. Alexandra osub, a recenI graduaIe who sIudIed prInI- making and lithography, says she is concerned with the management of the equipment she used while she attend- ed SIony rook. She says Ihe presses sIudenIs use Io prInI lIIhographs are old and consIanIly In need oI repaIr. The lack of funding was most obvious in the litho studio, she says, comparIng II Io Ihe dIgIIal arIs sIudIo nexI door whIch Is lled wIIh brand new Macs and secured by an alarmed glass door. Along with paying her $50-100 studio fee, Iosub had to purchase her own supplies as well: sponges, pencils, aprons and alumInum ball-graIned plaIes. She says her pro- fessor has rationed materials such as cheese cloth because Ihere are noI enough Iunds Io replace Ihem. ArI sIudenIs are requIred Io spend sIgnIcanI amounIs oI IIme ouIsIde oI classes Io work on IheIr projecIs. Mosher works as a web designer and takes up sporadic contract jobs, not working as much as she would like because she needs IIme Io compleIe her projecIs. AIIer addIng In Ihe money she spends on supplies, she says she has to bor- row money from her husband to relieve herself of these nancIal burdens. osub also worked whIle IakIng summer courses and she worked in the fall on top of a course load of ve sIudIo classes. SomeIImes, II sIudenIs cannoI aord Io buy supplIes Ior a class, II can deIer IheIr graduaIIon. I youre noI workIng, how are you supposed Io pay Ior supplIes? Mosher says. Is kInd oI lIke a huge CaIch-22. Iohn LuIIerbIe, Ihe arI deparImenI chaIrperson, de- clIned a requesI Ior an InIervIew Io dIscuss Ihese Issues. Nader Nouraee, a senior and teaching assistant for the Photography I class, says many students confront him about IheIr InabIlIIy Io aord supplIes. Dne sIudenI, he says, Iold hIm she was poor and could noI nd Ihe money Io buy Ihe suggesIed /UU worIh oI maIerIals. Nouraee says IhIs aI- IecIs sIudenIs perIormances In class because Ihey are un- able Io produce decenI prInIs. However, he agrees wIIh LevIne IhaI IhIs Is someIhIng Ihe arI deparImenI always requIred oI sIudenIs. He also agrees wIIh Ihe problems suggesIed by LevIne IhaI could arise if Stony Brook supplied students with their own ra- IIons oI maIerIals. But the studio art and biology double major says he belIeves Ihere Is noI much IhaI can be done. IhInk IIs ImporIanI Io sIay opIImIsIIc abouI II, Nouraee says. uI as oI now, donI really see II goIng anywhere. I youre not working, how are you supposed to pay for supplies? 20 FEATURES February 21, 2012 Is around 3:15 on a raIny Thursday aIIernoon and Cheryl Chambers, in a black raincoat and toting an umbrella oI Ihe same shade, Is runnIng laIe. She brIngs her appoInImenI InIo her oce, a spacIous room with a window overlooking the back entrance of the SIudenI AcIIvIIIes CenIer. Dne wall Is covered In Iramed cerIIcaIes and awards. Plaques eIched wIIh her name Iop a lIng cabIneI by Ihe wIndow. All oI Ihese recognIIIons and achIevemenIs hIghlIghI Chambers success as an em- ployee of higher education, particularly for her work as the Dean oI MulIIculIural AaIrs. Five years ago this month, Chambers established the Dce oI MulIIculIural AaIrs aI SIony rook. SInce Ihen she has worked to help students of all races and ethnicities spread IheIr culIures IhroughouI campus. Her job requIres her Io advIse several clubs and organIzaIIons and aIIend countless meetings, especially when there are culture-re- laIed evenIs Io coordInaIe. And for a school as diverse as Stony Brook, these events happen quIIe oIIen. Theres always sIu goIng on, Chambers says. Is jusI really wonderIul. enjoy II. Her schedule is packed: a meeting for Black History MonIh plannIng, anoIher meeIIng Io plan Ior nexI monIhs MulIIculIural Show and Food TasIIng, varIous commIIIee meeIIngs. For Chambers, Ihough, Ihose meeIIngs are jusI some of the many ingredients that help create the huge melIIng poI IhaI Is SIony rook. Before working at Stony Brook, Chambers worked in Ihe Dce oI MInorIIy AaIrs aI Syracuse UnIversIIy, where she goI her achelors degree In EnglIsh. She evenIually branched o InIo sIudenI acIIvIIIes and landed a job aI Cor- nell UnIversIIy. Dnce she reIurned home Io Long sland aI- ter a few years upstate, she began working at Stony Brook, anoIher one oI her alma maIers (she earned her MasIers degree In human resource managemenI here}, and held many dIerenI posIIIons wIIhIn Ihe Dean oI SIudenIs DI- ce and sIudenI acIIvIIIes. ThaIs when she saw opporIu- nIIy. All aspects of culture and diversity are right at our doorsIep, Chambers says. ThIs Is a place where sIudenIs can learn from each other and develop a sense of commu- nIIyand see how much Ihey have In common. The creaIIon oI Ihe Dce oI MulIIculIural AaIrs lead to new traditions at Stony Brook, as well as the improve- menI oI old ones. Chambers and her sIa work wIIh sIu- dents and other advisors on planning events for Black His- Iory, HIspanIc HerIIage and Womens HIsIory MonIhs, and they coordinate with the Interfaith Center for the Festival oI LIghIs In December. And Ihe MulIIculIural Show and Food TasIIng has become a popular annual IradIIIon wIIh Ihe oces help. There are also many sIudenI-lead InIIIaIIves IhaI Cham- bers and her sIa oversee. The MulIIculIural Womens AllI- ance Iocuses on womens Issues IhroughouI dIerenI cul- tures, promoting awareness and coming up with potential soluIIons. The SIudenI AIrIcan AmerIcan roIherhood Is a naIIonal organIzaIIon IhaI creaIes a peer communIIy Ior AI- rIcan and LaIIno men and helps Ihem excel as sIudenIs and IndIvIduals. The UNT CulIural CenIer, locaIed In Ihe SIu- denI UnIon, oers programs Ior campus communIIy devel- opmenI and provIdes IacIlIIIes Ior sIudenI use. Chambers uses Ihese groups as examples oI Ihe many opporIunIIIes sIudenIs have as ouIleIs Ior culIural expressIon. We denIIely have a loI, IhInk, Io oer sIudenIs here, she says. Theres a hIgh degree oI collaboraIIon, supporI and accepIance. DIversIIy Is one oI Ihe IoundaIIons oI any campus, Chambers says. AI SIony rook, a communIIy compIled oI numerous races, relIgIons, sexualIIIes, ages and eIhnIcIIIes, diversity is literally everywhere, and Chambers encourages students to embrace it through programs and events while Iheyre here. uI Ior Chambers, experIencIng dIerenI culIures Is noI Ihe only parI oI beIng a mulIIculIural person. ParI oI being such a person, she says, is taking some type of ac- IIon. She uses Ihe example oI a hypoIheIIcal conversaIIon where one IndIvIdual mIghI make an oendIng commenI abouI homosexualIIy and suggesIs IhaI sIudenIs challenge II. I doesnI mean you have Io Iake up arms, she says wIIh a laugh. IusI speak up and say, You know, IhInk IhaI re- mark Is very hurIIul. Incorporating culture into the lives of Stony Brook stu- denIs Is Ihe sole mIssIon oI Chambers career. AsIde Irom involvement with her church and her position on the Alum- nI AssocIaIIon oard oI DIrecIors, she dedIcaIes Ihe major- ity of her time to promoting the importance of a multicul- Iural lIIe Io Ihe campus communIIy. Were so InIerdependenIIhaI IIs essenIIal IhaI a person has some skill levelto understand people from dIverse backgrounds, she says. Is a IacI oI lIIe. Youre goIng Io encounIer people who are dIerenI. A CULTURAL EXCHANGE by Alyssa Melillo All aspects of culture and diversity are right at our doorsIep. FEATURES Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 21 The janIIorIal sIa aI SIony rook UnIversIIy Is em- broIled In a consIanI baIIle wIIh gIrls ages 17 Io 25. More often than not bathroom stalls are repainted to cover a va- rIeIy oI graII eIched across sIale bread-colored plasIIc walls. VandalIsm, Ihe acI oI desIroyIng or deIacIng publIc or prIvaIe properIy, Is mosI assuredly a crIme, buI shouldnI that law be amended to allow the spread of Twilight quotes across campus? The shorI answer Is no. NoI because vandalIsm Is rIghI and jusI, buI because donI wanI Io read abouI Team Ed- ward whIle m IakIng a IInkle. All II does Is remInd me oI a multi-million-dollar-earning mediocre book series that is Ihe glorIed dIary oI a paInIully average 1/-year-old gIrl. uI every now and Ihen, one nds baIhroom graII gold. ScrIbbled In shades oI baby blue, hoI pInk, and classIc black, gems of wisdom such as and just when the caterpil- lar IhoughI Ihe world was over he Iurned InIo a buIIery, and love wonI Ieed you --> II wIll Ieed your soul capIure your aIIenIIon. SomeIImes you even geI lucky enough Io nd an ImprompIu wall mural. Who doesnI wanI a lIIIle arI with their toilet time, after all? So while it pleases me to see quotes from brilliant lms lIke Inception and Finding Nemo, and graII porIraIIs oI cuddly anImals makes everyone elses baIhroom vandal- Ism InadequaIe In comparIson, IIs nearly becomIng an epI- demIc. And Ihe schools janIIors cannoI be IhrIlled. Dne musI ImagIne IhaI Ihe janIIorIal sIa cleans Ihese messes up more oIIen Ihan Ihey would lIke Io. SomeIImes Ihe graII Is noI even paInIed over, buI halIhearIedly scrubbed from the walls, leaving behind faint streaks of hIghlIghIer and permanenI marker. s II IrusIraIIon Irom a IedIous Iask, or Ihe lack oI desIre Io rId a gIrls resIroom oI scrawled advice? I Is lIkely Ihe Iormer. The janIIors donI care abouI your IavorIIe song quoIes. They sImply care abouI geIIIng IheIr job done. uI IIs a repeIIIIve cycle. Is EInsIeIns denIIIon of insanity; doing the same thing over and over again and expecIIng dIerenI resulIs. Vandals are always goIng Io be paInIed over and janIIors work Is always goIng Io be wrII- Ien on. uI II Ihe graII Is gone how am goIng Io deIermIne the ratio between Edward and Jacob lovers? And how will I be remInded IhaI all need Is love? When m IeelIng down- trodden I need the inspiring, recycled, clichs on the walls oI resIroom sIalls Io remInd me IhaI all lIIes dIlemmas can be solved with the reading of romantic comedy movie quoIes. Hlne VolaI, Head oI ReIerence B nIormaIIon ServIc- es aI Ihe MelvIlle LIbrary, Is opposed Io IhIs parIIcular Iorm oI expressIon, callIng II an IndelIble Iorm oI wrIIIng. When your poeIry aIIaIns Ihe qualIIy and ImporIance oI EmIly DIckInson or when your paInIIngs rIval Ihose oI CeorgIa DKeeIe, Ihen we mIghI reconsIder. n Ihe mean- time you may want to practice on your own bathroom walls, she saId In an emaIl. However, I fear that this barbaric method of communi- caIIon wIll noI dIe, even wIIh Ihe crIIIque oI lIbrary sIa. I seems we musI seIIle Ior Ihe bIzarre, ucIuaIIng sIaIe oI cleanlIness Ihe baIhroom sIalls Iace. So II Ihe masses can forgive these forlorn souls for their indiscretions, than al- low me to implore all the vandals of Stony Brook not to Ihrow a hIssy I abouI IheIr mosI beloved quoIes geIIIng Ihe ax. nsIead, be graIeIul Ior Ihe renewed chance aI pla- gIarIzIng someone elses creaIIvIIy and InspIraIIon. You canI draw a new pIcIure on your EIch-A-SkeIch wIIhouI erasIng Ihe old one rsI, aIIer all. STALL WISDOM by Liz Kaempf Photo by Liz Kaempf 22 CULTURE February 21, 2012 The MasIers oI FIne ArIs IhesIs exhIbIIIon Is always a great opportunity for art lovers to be treated to a showcase of the best up-and-coming talent that our art department has Io oer. There Is always an overabundance oI amazIng arIwork Io look aI so IIs suced Io say IhaI IhIs semesIers exhIbII, ound, Is no dIerenI. The gallery space IIselI IsnI occupIed by much In Ierms oI arIwork. The InsIallaIIons Ihemselves are spread across Ihe gallery oor and Ihe amounI oI negaIIve space Is sIar- IlIng aI rsI, buI once you make your way around Ihe gal- lery and get a good perspective and handle on the works, it makes sense. Each arIIsIs pIece InhabIIs IIs own very unIque space and despite the varying styles and media present, every- IhIng meshed IogeIher very well. The overarchIng Iheme became the driving force in understanding and interpreting the show and it managed to bring incredible cohesiveness to what would have otherwise been viewed as a disjointed exhIbII wIIh no dIscernable Iheme or message. I suppose for those laypersons and philistines who just donI geI arI or sImply lIke preIIy paInIIngs, Ihey obvI- ously wouldnI geI II. remember speakIng Io several people who crIIIcIzed Ihe exhIbIIIon sImply because Ihey IaIled Io grasp Ihe Ideas IhaI permeaIed beneaIh Ihe surIace. TheIr loss, guess. mmedIaIely upon vIewIng Pancho WesIendarps pIece, was greeIed by IhIs sense oI proIound IamIlIarIIy. There was just something that struck me and made me feel like I was in a warm, welcomIng and comIorIable space. I was lIke was In my own lIvIng room. The pIece IIselI was jusI sImply unappable. The IacI alone that he managed to arrange these seemingly unrelat- Motha Fuckin Art (MFA) Exhibit by Andi Liao CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 23 ed objecIs IogeIher InIo a unIed body oI work Is awesome. Adding to that, he was capable of creating a self-sustaining elecIronIc space wIIh a guIIar IhaI plays IIselI. I was re- markable and looking at it from a geeky point-of-view, the cool-IacIor Is sImply undenIable. I was InIeresIIng Ihe way he explored Ihe way In whIch us humans interact with the world and the objects around us. The presence oI humans, or Ihe lack IhereoI, Inuences and shapes Ihe envIronmenIs IhaI we InhabII. For me, hIs choice to use the guitar was a natural one because it really encapsulated the idea behind the human identity and the way in which he drew upon the interrelation between who we are and how we aecI Ihe world around us. The ambIenI sounds that emanated from the installation really put me in the right mood to contemplate the ideas that are being presenIed. AnoIher arIIsIs work IhaI sIood ouI Io me was Dan Hess Swallowed In Ihe Sea serIes. was parIIcularly drawn to these images because of how much it reminded me of some of my own printed works and unique feelings oI comIorI and curIosIIy mIxed wIIh IhIs underlyIng sense oI dread. These Images also evoked IhoughIs oI H.P. LovecraIIs work, especially At the Mountains of Madness, which I per- sonally IhInk Is hIs mosI IrIumphanI work. ThroughouI Ihe book, Ihe explorers venIure IorIh InIo the dark, unforgiving Antarctic with a piqued curiosity cou- pled wIIh a loomIng sense oI danger. The IeelIngs IhaI pour IorIh Irom Ihe book are echoed In Dan Hess Images. The most obvious parallels I noticed between the two were that Hess swIrl-lIke lInes remInded me oI Ihe Dld Cods oI Love- craftian lore, most evidently, in the tentacled behemoth CIhulu. Hess even states that these works are his representa- IIon oI Ihe space IhaI occupIes Ihe dIerence beIween re- alIIIes. I makes sense. We sIIll donI really have a Iull grasp on whaI we see as realIIy. Sure II may be a lIIIle IarIeIched to think that there are indeed alternate or parallel realities buI IhInkIng abouI II, we canI help buI acknowledge IhaI Ihe human braIns capabIlIIIes have near-lImIIless poIenIIal and Ihe way IhaI LovecraIIs work, and Ihrough exIensIon, Hess work, plays on our InnermosI and unIapped IhoughIs, dreams and nIghImares Is Iruly ouIsIandIng. Thus by delvIng InIo Ihe human subconscIous, Hess successIully manages Io hII Ihe proverbIal naIl on Ihe head. He seI ouI Io exIracI Irom hIs vIewers IheIr InIerpreIaIIons based on IheIr own Inner desIres and Iears, and he dId II. The exhIbII Is only open unIIl February 25, so II you have not yet taken a look at it, you should check out Bound be- Iore IIs Ioo laIe. Photos by Mike Perdersen 24 CULTURE February 21, 2012 The rsI IIme played a Final Fantasy game, dIdnI quIIe geI II. was eleven years old and had my hands on a borrowed copy oI Ihe nInIh InsIallmenI In Ihe serIes core line of fantasy-based role playing games, terms that I was oblIvIous Io In Ihe 6Ih grade. For one, my classmate said I could spend over 50 hours playIng II. AI Ihe IIme, could noI IaIhom Ihe Idea of spending more time on a game than on Pokmon Silver, especially one where you had to sit idly in front of television screen instead of playing it nearly every second your parenIs made you leave Ihe house. (Yep, was IhaI kId aI Ihe supermarkeI and docIors oce and mall and beIore and aIIer school.} also Iound myselI dumbIounded that a game was capable of spanning four entire discs and incredulous to the claim of reviewers that it was one of the mosI graphIcally complex games oI IIs IIme. In the beginning hours of Final Fantasy IX, I became IncreasIngly conIused. Why dId IhIs game Involve so much readIng, dIalogue and exposIIIon? Why dId II Iake hours upon hours of gameplay to discover what it was I was actually going to be doing in a game that my friend referred to as like Pokmon, buI way, way more complIcaIed? Why were all the male characters so androgynous? As I plowed through FF IX and proceeded to devour the seventh and eighth installments as well, I began to see the series for what it truly was: immersive, book-like fantasy epIcs. ( have sInce played Ihe rsI, IhIrd, IIh, IenIh and IwelIIh InsIallmenIs.} They were Ihe rsI vIdeo games IhaI Iound myselI losI InsIde, spendIng hours explorIng Ihe world beyond MIdgar In V and comIng Io know Ihe characIers, lIke Ihe IaIled, exIraIerresIrIal proIagonIsI Zidane of IX, as intimately as one would any beloved book serIes oI IheIr chIldhood. Sadly, the Final Fantasy series is now a hollow shell oI Ihe golden IIIles oI Ihe laIe 5Us and early UUs IhaI used Io dene Ihe pre-HD console era. currenIly have a copy of the latest installment, Final Fantasy XIII-2, sitting In my Xbox 36U, havIng already swallowed Ihe sIupIdIIy underlying the release of a sequel to a game titled Final Fantasy after they did the very same thing with the tenth game. ve hardly played II, and noI necessarIly because donI have Ihe IIme. nd myselI IurnIng InsIead Io 1558s Final Fantasy Tactics, a title I unfortunately overlooked when I was younger due to me being uncharacteristically inept at IacIIcal vIdeo games. m playIng IhaI, and IncreasIngly so every day, because oI how engrossIng Ihe mIx oI sIory and battle is, a trait that a traditional Final Fantasy pulls o wIIh ease. m also enjoyIng II Immensely because oI how well II illustrates the stark shift in the series since its golden PSX era. ThIs evoluIIon oI Ihe serIes has Iaken II Irom some oI the strongest narratives video games have ever delivered to glossy, over-produced trash that relies on fan-boy dedIcaIIon and Ihe promIse oI a revamped baIIle sysIem. The dIsappoInImenI arIses Irom sIorIes IhaI have, sInce the transition to the PlayStation 2 more than a decade ago, become IncreasIngly muddled and IorgeIIable. WhIle Final Fantasy X dId manage Io pull o IIs delIcaIe mIxIng oI old and new, II showed sIgns oI Ihe serIes IeeIer Ioward decline with a borderline-absurd time travel plot that has returned with a terrible, nonsensical vengeance in XIII-2. ThIs declIne may have sIarIed wIIh Ihe IenIh game, but it was Final Fantasy XIII, the basis for the shit-show of a sequel sIIIIng Ireshly on sIore shelves, IhaI sealed Ians opInIons oI Ihe modern sIory capabIlIIIes oI Ihe serIes. X was crIIIcIzed heavIly Ior IIs lInear sIorylIne IhaI basIcally held your hand from destination to destination and its sIorylIne IhaI Iell aI on IIs Iace consIsIenIly beIore brIskly wrapping up in one of the most disappointing endings I have ever endured. oIh oI Ihese crIIIques were weIghed agaInsI Ihe games only deIenseIIs hyper-paced and THE HALCYON DAYS OF FINAL FANTASY by Nick Statt CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 25 Based on true events, The Vow is a bittersweet love sto- ry of a newlywed couple and was released just in time for ValenIInes Day. I begIns wIIh PaIge (Rachel McAdams} un- fastening her seatbelt in an attempt at a little foreplay with her husband Leo (ChannIng TaIum} on IheIr way home Irom a movIe on a snowy nIghI. uI beIore PaIge can sIarI any- thing the pair is hit from behind by a truck, sending Paige Ihrough Ihe wIndshIeld and leavIng her In a coma. A Iew weeks later she wakes with no memory of her husband, her marrIage or her currenI lIIe. nsIead oI reIurnIng home wIIh Leo, she reverIs Io her former life with her stuck up, upper-class parents, whose scandalous secret is long hidden from the audience, and are Ioo caughI up In geIIIng her back Irom her husband. When PaIges ex-anc, whom she has no memory oI splII- IIng up wIIh, enIers her lIIe agaIn II leaves Leo askIng one question: How do you look at the girl you love and tell your- self its time to walk away? TaIums perIormance was noI surprIsIng, as he has played the heartbroken guy many times before, and he does so excepIIonally well. uI McAdams Is Ihe real enIIce- menI In IhIs lm. She Is her same bubbly and Iree-spIrIIed selI on-screen and she uses IhaI Io draw In her audIence. kepI cheerIng Ior PaIge even when she was exIremely Irus- IraIIng In her wIIhdrawal Irom Leo. PaIge and Leo geI a second chance Io experIence someIhIng IhaI some people donI geI Io experIence once In IheIr lIIe: IallIng In love. uI Ihere was someIhIng mIss- Ing. There Is a lack oI emoIIon and lIIIle magIc seemed Io spark Irom Ihe couples InIeracIIons. You could see Ihe aecIIon and consIderaIIon Ihey had Ior each oIher, buI could noI acIually Ieel Ihe love. Is obvIous when people are truly in love; the way they look at each other, as if there Is no one else around, IouchIng each oIher lIke IIs Ihe lasI IIme IheIr bodIes wIll be near one anoIher agaIn. dIdnI see IhaI wIIh PaIge and Leo. TheIr love Ior each oIher dIdnI come across strongly enough and it made their struggle to sIay IogeIher IhaI much harder Io waIch. AIIer Ihe accIdenI Leo Is a sIranger Io PaIge, buI how can she Iall In love wIIh him again if she is a stranger to herself? A downfall was that The Vow came o Ioo much lIke earlier romantic dramas, The Notebook and Dear John. I could just be the actors that played the main characters of PaIge and Leo IhaI made Ihe movIes seem so sImIlar. m noI complaInIng abouI seeIng ChannIng TaIums body on the big screen though; if I woke up and he told me he was my husband, wouldnI quesIIon II Ior a second. uI when heard Leo say, Two weeks, IhaIs all II Iook Ior her Io Iall In love with me, I had to take my ticket stub out of my pocket to make sure it said The Vow and not Dear John. I m pay- ing to see a new movie the least the writers could do was have TaIum learn a new scrIpI. unIque baIIle sysIem. WhIle IhIs dId make Ior some oI Ihe mosI IacIIcally InIeresIIng momenIs In Ihe serIes hIsIory, it did little to alleviate the fact that the game brought out a level of emotional investment better suited to smartphone puzzle game. ThIs devIaIIon Irom placIng a prIorIIy on rIch, well- written storylines has done irreversible damage to the series, one of the last remaining torch-carriers of the classIc RPC. There was a IIme when FInal FanIasy V was considered by many to be the greatest game ever made for a number of reasons, the hallmark of which was the InsIsIence IhaI II was Ihe rsI game Io brIng players Io Iears when one oI IIs prIncIpal characIers was kIlled. ExplaInIng IhaI In Ihe conIexI oI Ihe modern Final Fantasy is almost laughable, and it pains me to play the currenI copy sIIIIng In my Xbox knowIng IhaI IIs sIory wIll not only remain emotionally untouchable, but will in fact frustrate me with its lack of depth and its characters that manage Io reach an oensIve level oI unlIkable. have played Ihrough a good porIIon oI Ihe games openIng chapters and have been consistently surprised at how IerrIble Ihe dIalogue and sIory exposIIIon has been, especIally consIderIng how poor oI a job Squar EnIx dId aI veiling the ridiculous time travel-based, we can change Ihe IuIure ploI. Maybe IIs because now IhaI blockbusIer RPC serIes like 0DVV (HFW and Elder Scrolls, whIch emphasIze choIce making and sport variations of the ever-popular morality- based game mechanics now dominating the genre, the RPC model oI Ihe laIe 2UIh cenIury Is dead and gone. I truly pains me to see these types of games making huge developmenIal leaps Ior Ihe medIum whIle Ihe denIng series of my video game childhood gets left in the dust, scraping up enough bullshit loose ends to release another Kingdom Hearts spIno or IaIlIng mIserably Io capIIalIze on Ihe already-over-crowded MMD markeI. CurrenIly, developer Square EnIxs Iocus Is on Ihe remaining two thirds of its ambiguous Fabula Nova Crystallis saga, whIch conIaIns an exclusIve IIIle Ior Ihe new PlayStation Vita handheld that a small fraction of people will probably play and a game that would be far more excIIIng II Ihe only IhIng weve seen oI II In Ihe lasI Ihree years was Ihe same rehashed CC cuI scenes. Who knows whaI wIll come oI Ihe serIes when II reaches IIs nexI unIque installment, but I know now that the days of being lost in the narrative of a Final Fantasy are most likely stuck in the past, and no shitty, ill-contrived time travel storyline can brIng Ihem back. THE VOWby Nicole Kohn 26 CULTURE February 21, 2012 After being defamed and humiliated by the Stony Brook Press two weeks ago, very short comedian Kevin Hart took revenge on Ihe publIcaIIon by beaIIng Ihe shII ouI oI sIa wrIIer DanIel Cashmar aI approxImaIely 3 p.m. on FrIday, February 17, unIversIIy polIce saId. According to witnesses, Hart lunged at an unsuspect- ing Cashmar, the nearest person to the front door of the oce, as he was bIIIng InIo a slIce oI pIzza. He proceeded Io punch Cashmar In Ihe Iace /82 IImes whIle IorcIng hIs vIcIIm Io keep counI. HarI sIopped when hIs vIcIIm passed ouI. Cashmar susIaIned mInor InjurIes, IncludIng, buI noI limited to, a loss of four teeth and severe damage to his nose and left eye that will most likely need to be corrected wIIh cosmeIIc surgery. Why would you ImmaIure college sIudenIs wrIIe something like that about me? asked Hart of the rest of Ihe losers who pracIIcally lIve In Ihe Press oce. And whaIs Ihe deal wIIh Ihe ChrIs Rock phoIo? ThaIs really racIsI, man. We dIdnI mean II In a racIsI way, saId sIa wrIIer AndI LIao, who Is oIIen reIerred Io as AsIan AndI around Ihe oce. goI IhIs, saId Web EdIIor Trevor ChrIsIIan. We were actually kind of mad that you would only give one inter- vIew and when we dIdnI geI pIcked In Ihe loIIery Io do II, we decIded Io have a lIIIle Iun on Ihe page. Is noIhIng personal whaI we wroIe abouI you. We jusI dId II because we donI lIke you. Why dId you have Io make me sound lIke such an ass- hole Ihough? HarI asked. We IhoughI II we made II sound rIdIculous and vulgar enough, and even Included a bII abouI how you dIdnI gIve us an interview inside the interview, that people would understand that it was satire and would enjoy it for what II was. We also used Ihe pIcIure oI ChrIs Rock Io be com- pletely sure that readers would be suspicious as soon as Ihey glanced aI Ihe page. The lasI IhIng we wanIed Io do was totally spoil the joke by spelling out that it was fake wIIh a dIsclaImer, ChrIsIIan explaIned. Well obvIously II was Iake mean, whaI IdIoI would honesIly IhInk would respond Io a quesIIon lIke, Would you raIher have anal sex wIIh a quesIIonable hooker buI she violently shits all over you after and pics of it leak on the internet or get the best blow jay ever but wake up on a deserted island with enough food to live out your life? HarI saId. ThaIs jusI preposIerous. Well, IhaIs whaI we IhoughI, saId ExecuIIve EdIIor Nick Statt, who emerged out of The Press oces archIves room upon realIzIng IhaI HarI was exhausIed and had Iaken mosI oI hIs anger ouI on Cashmar. WhaI upseIs me Is IhaI people acIually came Io me questioning my moral character after thinking the inter- vIew was real. HarI saId. ThaI means IhaI II Is obvIously your duty as student journalists of an alternative publica- tion known for its tendency to push boundaries to cave in to the stupidity of your readers and publish a disclaimer alongsIde your saIIre pIeces. can see Ihe beneI oI IhaI argumenI, responded S A T I R E KEVIN HARTS REVENGE by Howie Newsberkman CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 27 AI rsI glance Ihe SAC ArI Callerys laIesI exhIbII En- counIerIng DaIa looks lIke noIhIng more Ihan a bunch oI compuIers and IelevIsIons In a large whIIe room. AgaInsI the wall is a creative little piece called It gets better, Alan, consIsIIng oI a Macook Pro and an old IypewrIIer Irom Ihe 1950s with a suicide note from an esteemed computer scIenIIsI In II. ThIs may seem hIghly symbolIc, buI gallery vIsIIors had Iyped IheIr own words ouI onIo Ihe noIe. Dne phrase, printed boldly across the suicide note in black ink read, quIIe sImply, ThIs Is borIng. And IhaI rIghI Ihere Is Ihe enIIre exhIbII In a nuIshell. There are Ihose who wIll nd II IncredIbly borIng, a gIanI room lled wIIh compuIers and daIa IhaI could puI one Io sleep IasIer Ihan a documenIary maraIhon. uI Io oIhers, the idea of data being given lifebreathing air into some- thing so admittedly beyond human sensesis inviting and InnovaIIve. Through vIsualIzaIIon and sonIcaIIon, Encoun- IerIng DaIa shows Ihe nerd In us all jusI whaI can be done wIIh daIa In an age oI creaIIvIIy and scIenIIc advances. Take, Ior example, Ihe InnovaIIve pIece DecoI by Shawn Creenlee, a wooden bench In IronI oI a large TV screen wIIh bulky headphones connecIed Io II. Faded black and whIIe gures glIded across Ihe screen, blurred and ouI oI Iocus. A consIanI, loud rIngIng oI several dIerenI pIIch- es came Irom Ihe headphones. Is noI very obvIous aI rsI, buI Ihe screen Is acIually showIng dIerenI parIs oI a hu- man body. Two hands clappIng are vIsIble over IIme. I was such a universally disturbing piece that gallery visitors all had one word Io dene II: scary. FIrsI you see a hand, lIps, noseIIs so creepy, saId MIchelle LIu, a dIgIIal arIs sIudenI who opens and oversees Ihe gallery. The dark shadows are so eerIe. Some pIeces Iouched oIhers on an emoIIonal level. KInesIheIIc 1.U by Ioseph Esser, an elecIronIc medIa In- sIallaIIon, seemed Io resonaIe wIIh gallery dwellers. love IhIs one, IIs my IavorIIe, saId Helen Tseou, a sound design student who was conducting research for a class paper. Every IIme you pass by a sIrIng II vIbraIes, and each one has a dIerenI sound so you can play around wIIh II. DIher sIudenIs had more absIracI InIerpreIaIIons. think it means something in motion can be artistic, said Marley Solomon, who sIood by KInesIheIIc 1.U and played wIIh II Ior a whIle. Is all In Ihe name KIn-aesIheIIc, meanIng II can be pleasIng Io Ihe eye. The exhIbII, however, Is noI wIIhouI IIs aws. Two oI Ihe exhIbIIs werenI IuncIIonIng properly: EarIh Io DIsk by The ArI oI FaIlure and Ephemeral ArIIIacIs by TImo- Ihy VallIer and MoIra WIllIams. LIu assumed IhaI problems arose because the gallery was set up later than originally planned. It was rushed, she said, they had trouble setting it up because Ihey had Io geI Insurance rsI, so II was seI up laIe. LIu saId IhaI her DIgIIal ArIs proIessor also noIIced an error In Ihe serIes FFTlRMS 1 and EEC by Paul Pru- dence. Still, one cannot deny the fascination drawn from other noIable pIeces In Ihe exhIbII: lIke a IurnIable booIh, a gI- anI map depIcIIng sIaIIsIIcs abouI U.S. oIl, and a compuIer screen with rainbow and gray dots scrolling across it while a sIaIIc beep chImes In Ihe background. Though noI everyone may apprecIaIe daIa InIerpreIa- IIon and analysIs, a vIsII Io Ihe EncounIerIng DaIa exhIbII Is hIghly recommended. Those wIIh a curIosIIy Ior unex- plored media of art and communication will appreciate the InnovaIIon behInd each pIece. I can be a rewardIng experI- ence for those who are willing to step out of their comfort zone. ENCOUNTERING DATA by Teena Nawabi Statt, but we came to the conclusion that readers incapa- ble oI dIerenIIaIIng beIween saIIre and serIous conIenI arenI necessarIly Ihe readers we are IryIng Io reach. I IsnI our duty as the alternative publication to simply report the IacIs and noIhIng else. nsIead, we lIke Io IncIIe debaIe and push the limits a bit for the sake of humor and to celebrate Ihe IacI IhaI college journalIsm shouldnI be a dry and pa- thetic imitation of professional journalism, but a unique Iorm oI conIenI characIerIzed by dIerenI generaIIons oI sIudenIs. Well, as a comedIan, can agree wIIh IhaI. AIIer all, youre sIudenIs. When you graduaIe, youll never have Ihe opporIunIIy Io have Iun, play jokes and experImenI. Youll just be slaves to the higher-ups and basically boot-lick your way to having enough power to force younger generations to do the same, Hart said with a nod of his freakishly large head made IhaI much more apparenI by hIs shorI sIaIure. Thanks Ior undersIandIng, saId ChrIsIIan. Then, ac- cording to witnesses, he made the mistake of trying to get a real interview with Hart, who then collapsed back into a I oI Iury and beaI ChrIsIIan over Ihe head wIIh a cardboard cuI-ouI oI oba FeII. Cashmar and Christian have decided not to press charges as HarI made amends wIIh Ihe sIaers and oered to smooth out the sometimes-fragile relationship the news organIzaIIon has wIIh Ihe UndergraduaIe SIudenI Covern- menI. They love me over Ihere, HarI explaIned. Theyll do anyIhIng ask. 28 CULTURE February 21, 2012 THE STONY BROOK PRESS SEX SURVEY: #SWAG CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 29 * Based on surveys that were never acIually Iaken. There you go... #SWAG 30 CULTURE February 21, 2012 WhIle waIchIng Ihe Iree SIand Up 8 show Ior SU sIudenIs on Feb- ruary 13, realIzed IhaI have a new direction in life: I want to be an aeri- alIsI. Dk, IhaIs a dream IhaI wonI actually pursue, but for the two hours or so that I sat in the Staller CenIer waIchIng Ihe Iormer gure skaIer KImberly CraIg y Ihrough the air swinging from a hoop and SIand Up 8 co-Iounder Zay Weaver twirl several yards up on a silk rope, I consIanIly IhoughI, wanI Io do IhaI. Before the show even began, the performers stood on stage with no curtain hiding them, to warm up and Ialk Io Ihe audIence. Weaver promIsed a Iree gIII Io Ihe rsI per- son who could pull up a picture of a seawolf on their phone, so she could see whaI II was. Sam rown, a clown, meandered through the rows IalkIng and hIgh-vIng. The show was based heavIly on InIeracIIon wIIh Ihe audIence. DIIen performers envision a fourth wall separating them from the viewers; IhIs Iroupe dId exacIly Ihe opposIIe. Audience response was completely InIegral Io Ihe perIormance. Humor mIxed wIIh deep IeelIng as the scenes and performers var- Ied. rown was chased o Ihe sIage by Brett Copes after slapping him in a very Three Stooges-style, which contrasted with another scene with Weaver appearIng In a weddIng dress and handcus Io gIve an Im- passioned speech about why she is an aerialist before ripping the dress to shreds and demonstrating her aerIal prowess. Singer Sandy Swier seemed a bit incongruous from the rest of the casI, buI she dId have quIIe a voIce. It was very amusing, and slightly an- noyIng, when ChrIsIIanne SaInz, a by Jen Novotny STAND UP 8 CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 31 gymnast, took the microphone from her and launched into a Justin Bieber song. Stage performances generally hide the backstage area to keep the mysIery oI Ihe show alIve. SIand Up 8 doesnI belIeve In IhIs concepI. There were no curIaIns, and much oI the wings were visible, including the human sandbag set up for the aeri- alIsIs. A sIagehand aIIached Io Ihe y system climbed up and down a truss at the edge of the stage to lift or lower Ihe perIormers. ThaI unIque aspecI oI the performance impressed me, even more than the awesome contortions and yIng IIselI. My one complaInI abouI Ihe show Is Ihe lack oI ow. The acIs seemed very dIsparaIe and largely unrelaIed. At times, there seemed to be a theme explaInIng why Ihe perIormers do whaI Ihey do, buI several oI Ihe acIs dIdnI carry IhIs Ihrough. I could be IhaI Ihe randomness reecIed Ihe chaos oI a cIrcus In a bIg Iop, buI dIdnI Ieel lIke Ihe dIsconnecI was InIenIIonal. As Ior my dream oI yIng Ihrough Ihe aIr wIIhouI a harness, Ieel IhaIs Ihe kInd oI IhoughI SIand Up 8 Is Iry- Ing Io InspIre. The Idea IhaI one can be happy doing something out of the or- dInary, someIhIng exhIlaraIIng, even II no one else undersIands. LIke Ihe proverb Irom whIch Ihe troupe gets its name says, Fall down seven IImes, sIand up eIghI. Photos by Mike Pedersen 32 CULTURE February 21, 2012 There Is only one person In Ihe world who can inspire both praise for his actions and writing and major criticism for his life choices, being referred to as a vile, scum- my, abrasIve creaIure IhaI barely qualIes as human. ThIs commenI Is proudly dIsplayed on the back cover of his newest book, Hilar- ity Ensues. ThaI person Is none oIher Ihan Tucker Max, who has made a name Ior hImselI over Ihe pasI eIghI years. He began by launch- Ing hIs websIIe Iuckermax.com. Then Max marketed his most outrageous stories of drunken debauchery, quests for meaning- less hook-ups, and just plain bad behavior in a 2006 memoir, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, a 2009 movie of the same name, a 2010 follow-up book, Assholes Finish First, and nally capped o hIs achIevemenIs with Hilarity Ensues. UnIorIunaIely Ior Max, eIIher some oI the stories in Hilarity Ensues jusI donI In- spIre much hIlarIIy, or Iheyve become a bII sIale and played ouI over IIme. WhIle hIs nal chapIers are sIIll enIerIaInIng and showcase some witty writing, his stories this IIme around seem Io lack some oI Ihe avor and spIce IhaI made hIs rsI ones comedy classics and full of did he really do that?! momenIs. The rsI sIory IhaI really raIes wIIh Ihe ones In Maxs rsI books Is The TMZ Debacle. Max begIns by IellIng Ihe sIory oI hIs anIIcs aI lasI years SXSW, where he was thrown out of a party by three bounc- ers for throwing Popchips at a ceiling fan, but events quickly become much more en- IerIaInIng Irom Ihere. Max wrIIes, Then, Ihe nexI day, TMZ emaIled me askIng Ior a comment about getting kicked out of a SXSW parIy and callIng some gIrl a greasy guIdo. WhaI? couldnI belIeve II. AIIer all Ihe rIdIculous shII ve done In my lIIe, THS Is whaI TMZ wanIs Io do a sIory on? Other stories worth reading include The (AlmosI anned, Now CompleIe} MIss VermonI SIory, and Tucker Max, Knee Abuser. Also laughIer InducIng are hIs varI- ous recounIs oI sexIIng conversaIIons InIer- spersed throughout the book and grouped into three categories of absurd, mean, and alsllocaIIon, locaIIon, locaIIon. However, Ihe resI oI Ihe book jusI doesnI quIIe lIve up Io Ihe expecIaIIons IaIIhIul readers oI hIs rsI Iwo books mIghI have had Ior II. The sIorIes mIghI sIIll provIde a chuckle or Iwo, but there are no real moments of complete lose-control, jaw-dropping, tear- sIreamIng, knee-slappIng laughIer. The one parI oI Hilarity Ensues that truly does make it stand above its prIor InsIallmenIs Is Maxs reecIIons and noIe Io hIs Ians abouI hIs reIIre- menI aI Ihe end oI Ihe book. Here, Ians do geI Io see a dIerenI sIde oI Maxone IhaI shows IhaI hes noI jusI a womanIzer or a selI-descrIbed ass- hole, buI also a real human beIng who does have a soIIer sIde hes jusI noI as wIllIng Io show. Is a nIce way Io wrap up Ihe book (whIch, aI //3 pages oI sIorIes Is acIually a heIIy read}, and acIually manages Io reward readers Ior sIIckIng Ihrough II all wIIh hIm unIIl Ihe very end. HILARITY ENSUES by Lauren DuBois CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 33 The orchesIra begIns Io swell as Ihe arms oI Ihe con- ducIor rIse, and ClorIa Park, SIony rook Dperas own Car- men, steps on stage to tell a tale of jealousy, lust and free- dom. Love Is a gypsy chIld, Ihe projecIor reads as Parks characIer romances Don Iose, played by guesI arIIsI Iohn ellemer. I knows no law. I you donI love me, love you. Sung in its original French, with translations projected In EnglIsh, DavId LawIons producIIon oI La Tragedie de Car- men reduces PeIer rooks masIerpIece Io one acI. It retains the majesty of an age-old story, one of jealous lovers, murderous impulses and a young girl who tries to remain free from the men who wish to possess her and the socIeIy IhaI wIshes Io Iame her. ConducIed by TImoIhy Long, members oI Ihe SIony Brook Symphony Orchestra performed admirably, pro- viding as much a setting for the opera as the lighting and props. The seIIIng consIsIed almosI solely oI one Iable IhaI IuncIIoned aI IImes as a bed, a sIool and a washroom. The sImplIcIIy oI Ihe sIage allowed Ihe acIors and Ihe music to tell the story, and reduced distractions from the ploI Io a mInImum. ThIs was essenIIal Io keep Ihe audI- ences aIIenIIon, especIally when Ihey had Io Iocus back and forth between watching the stage and reading the IranslaIIons oI Ihe words 5U IeeI above Ihe sIage. The perIormances oI ClorIa Park, a mezzo-soprano earning her doctorate in music at Stony Brook, and guest tenor John Bellemer, who has appeared in leading opera houses across NorIh AmerIca and Europe, were superb. TheIr IacIal expressIons and movemenIs abouI Ihe stage told the story as well as their voices did, drawing in the audience so thoroughly that not a single person left the audIIorIum durIng Ihe perIormance. Parks porIrayal oI Carmen was IhaI oI an experIenced and vivid actress, transforming herself into the charming schemer IhaI II Is a pleasure Io haIe. Though she manIp- ulates the characters around her, Carmen is not simply a hearIless wench who seeks Io ruIn all she comes across. Inside this seductive, young, gypsy girl is a wild heart, one IhaI reIuses Io gIve In Io anyones demands buI her own. Free she was born and free she will die, Park pro- claIms as ellemers Don Iose pleads wIIh her Io Iollow hIm Io a new lIIe. She does noI love hIm anymore, and as such wIll noI gIve In Io hIs demands In Ihe nal dueI oI Ihe perIormance. Yet this wild-hearted girl draws tarot cards multiple times throughout the performance to predict her fate, see- Ing Ihe card oI DeaIh every IIme. By entrusting her fate solely to destiny, she fails to see how she herselI embodIes Ihe ulIImaIe selI-IulllIng prophecy, saId SIage DIrecIor IoachIm Schamberger In hIs program noIe. Carmen belIeves she Is Iree, buI she Is noI. Embracing her power to co-create her own fate with des- IIny could lead Io Irue Ireedom, buI oI IhaI she Is unaware. Thus, he says, Is Ihe Irue Iragedy oI Carmen: Ihe gIrl who longs to be free cannot truly be so until she releases herselI Irom Ihe IaIe she Is resIgned Io. DavId SmIIh, 75, oI London, Is a reIurnIng paIron oI Ihe SIony rook Dpera, along wIIh hIs IrIend Iudy WIshnIa, 73. I thought it was very, very interesting, the way that the Stony Brook version was completely changed around, and Ihe sIngers oI course were very good, he saId. I was a very good experIence. would cerIaInly come agaIn. As part of a tradition of opera at Stony Brook, the sing- ers participating in the program are primarily students of Ihe docIoraIe musIc program, IncludIng Seung Hee Lee, a soprano whose characIer MIcaela IrIes In vaIn Io keep Don Iose Irom Ihe seducIress Carmen. She performed with a genuine air of innocence, tinted wIIh jealousy aI Don Ioses aecIIons Ior Ihe gypsy gIrl. m IhrIlled IhaI Iheres so much IalenI In IhIs school IhaI we dIdnI know abouI, and IhaI Ihey have a Iorum, said Andrew Breslin, a senior theatre and English major at SIony rook. LasI years perIormance was oI CavallIs ElIogabalo. IhInk IIs a wonderIul casI, and we were so lucky to have John, who was the guest singer, so it was a great work, saId Park upon Ihe close oI Ihe show. TheIr nexI perIormance wIll be oI PeIer WInklers Fox Fables and SheIla SIlvers The Wooden Sword on March 25 and March 27 In Ihe SIaller CenIer Ior Ihe ArIs. STONY BROOK OPERA: LA TRAGEDIE DE CARMEN by Rebecca Tapio Carmen believes she is free, buI she Is noI. EmbracIng her power to co-create her own fate with destiny could lead to true freedom, but of that she Is unaware. 34 CULTURE February 21, 2012 CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 35 Sleigh Bells Reign of Terror As electronics become increasingly prominent in in- dIe pop, IIs become hard Io dIsIInguIsh InnovaIIon Irom novelIy. CrysIal CasIles, Ior InsIance, has proven Io have surprisingly strong staying power with their second album, despIIe Ihe IacI IhaI a crazy goIh lady screamIng over 8Us- era video game bleep bloop noises sounds like a horrible Idea on paper. SleIgh ells, anoIher duo composed oI a dude controlling chaotic noise behind a female vocalist, is certainly a more reasonable choice to play Saturday Night LIve or lease IheIr song Io a Honda CIvIc commercIal. TheIr rsI album Treats had its moments of irresistible catchi- ness, and now IheIr newesI release ReIgn oI Terror aI- IempIs Io maIch Ihe explosIveness oI IheIr breakIhrough WhIle Ihere Is noIhIng specIcally bad abouI IhIs new Iull-lengIh, Iheres noIhIng specIcally good abouI II eI- Iher. TheIr sIgnaIure RaIaIaI-meeIs-punk rock sound Is still in full force, but it lacks the catchy melodies that made Treats so lIsIenable. Songs lIke Road Io Hell or You LosI Me rely Ioo heavIly on sInger AlexIs Krausss medIocre and repeIIIIve vocals, makIng Ihem compleIely InoensIve buI undesIrable Io lIsIen Io on repeaI. CuIIarIsI and producer Derek MIllers harsh aImo- spheres can occasIonally make up Ior Krausss lame vocal layerIng, such as In Ihe snappy orn Io Lose. uI when her incessant yelling and nursery rhyme verses overpower a promising instrumental track, like in Crush, the results can be noI only crInge-worIhy buI headache InducIng. WhIle a major poInI oI IheIr sIyle Is supposed Io be Ihe conIrasI oI hardcore-Inuenced guIIar layerIng wIIh a gIrls preIIy, breaIhy voIce, II Ioo oIIen sounds sImply awkward. uI Ihere are a Iew brIghI spoIs: End oI Ihe LIne, clearly an attempt to re-create Treats IanIasIIc RIll RIll, is a relatively light and easy listen for upcoming spring days. Lead sIngle Comeback KId Is kInd oI caIchy, II noI InIeresIIng, and a perIecI summaIIon oI IheIr sound. uI as a whole, SleIgh ells sophomore eorI sounds Ioo much like Treats less Iun and less caIchy broIher. I Ihey want to avoid the label of a one-trick pony in the future, Ihey oughI Io branch ouI IheIr sound Io new IerrIIorIes. -SAMUEL LERAND Lil B White Flame Wow Rare Exclusive LIl s eIhos Is sImple. HIs messages are clear: He owns swag, He wanIs Io Iuck your bIIch, Hes probably Ihe only goon nIgga grIndIn In IIny panIs. YeI Ihe persona oI LIl remaIns so enIgmaIIc. n Ihe vIdeo Ior VIolaIe ThaI IIch, LIl s SIaIrway Io Heaven, he raps In IronI oI a dumpsIer whIle wearIng a shIrI IhaIs so small IIs ready Io explode rIghI o hIm. He pumps rare, exclusIve and hoI vIdeos lIke IhIs InIo Ihe Iubes oI cyberspace almosI every day. You can nd them on his twitter feed, where he also retweets hundreds of women beggIng LIl Io sleep wIIh Ihem, or conversely, men who are IhankIng LIl Ior sleepIng wIIh IheIr gIrlIrIends. IIch, suck my dIckl canI belIeve IIs noI buIIerlm FabIolHo, go push Ihe lInel meI LIl and ased Cod aI Ihe same IIme, Is Ihe chorus oI m FabIo, Ihe rsI sIngle o hIs new mIxIape, White Flame. I Iells you everyIhIng you need Io know abouI Ihe erkley-based arIIsI. LIl goes by Ihe monIker ased Cod. Is a reIerence Io hIs based IreesIyle IechnIque, whIch he coIned. I can be dened by rappIng whaIever comes Io ones mInd, regard- less oI wheIher or noI II makes sense. As a resulI, mosI oI hIs songs are barely songs. There are no reIraIns, verses or brIdges. nsIead, LIl jusI spouIs mosIly nonsense IhaI doesnI rhyme, oIIen ouI oI IIme, Ior Iour mInuIes or so. The charm oI lIsIenIng Io LIl Is parsIng Ihrough all oI Ihe garbage Io nd Ihe one or Iwo ouIrageous lInes IhaI couldnI possIbly come Irom any oIher mans mouIh. WhIIe Flame IsnI any dIerenI. Is 21 Iracks long, halI are Ihrow- aways, but there are a few Based God classics deep in the mIx lIke SIraps on Deck, Fed TIme and asedgod Fucked My IIches. LIl has become one oI Ihe mosI polarIzIng rappers In Ihe bIz. SlaIe columnIsI Ionah WeIner labeled LIl a brIl- lIanIly warped, posI-LIl Wayne deconsIrucIIonIsI. whIle oIhers who commenI on hIs YouIube vIdeo cannoI IaIhom LIl s debasIng oI musIc. The Came called LIl Ihe whackesI rapper ouI. LIl responded In a paparazzI vIdeo by InsulI- Ing The Came ouIsIde oI a CalI nIghIclub rIghI beIore hop- pIng InIo a Mercedes and scooIIng away. -VNCENT ARDNE 36 CULTURE February 21, 2012 Beach Fossils- Shallow 7 ConsIderIng IhaI couldnI sIop lIsIenIng Io IhIs rooklyn IndIe-pop acI when Ihe Iollow-up EP Io IheIr debuI dropped lasI year, d be Ihe rsI Ihe Iell you II IhIs sophomore album prevIew proved Io be a dIsappoInImenI. The good news Is IhaI IIs Iar Irom II. The IasI-paced, punchy guIIar openIng oI Shallow, the A-side on their new 7 due out February 21, gives way to an astoundingly rIch mIx oI Iones, oI whIch Payseurs aIry vocals sIand ouI Ihe mosI. They are apparenIly aI IheIr mosI eshed ouI and ImpressIve sIage oI developmenI. The -sIde, Lessons, Is a slIghI Ihrowback Io IheIr earlIesI Iracks wIIh IIs summery vibe, but still retains the songwriting maturity and heaviness picked up during IheIr years spenI loang around Ihe neIghborhoods oI rooklyn. So it appears that Payseur and crew are lifting the songwriting bliss and beauIIIully woven guIIar paIchworks oI Ihe WhaI a Pleasure EP oI lasI Febru- arythe one that lodged them deep inside my headbut trading the melan- choly (well, sorI oI} Ior a bII more punch. And IIs soundIng lIke IIs workIng ouI quIIe well. Usher-Climax (SIngle} As DIplo conIInues Io dIp hIs IeeI InIo Ihe pool oI maInsIream pop, hes ex- pandIng hIs reach Io bIg-name collaboraIors. Fresh o Ihe heels oI producIng ChrIs rowns Look AI Me Now lasI year, one oI Ihe weIrdesI and mosI badass rap beaIs In recenI memory, he exIends a hand Io RB veIeran Usher. ClImax, whIle IeaIurIng DIplos spacey and mInImal producIIon, sImply doesnI have Ihe IrIbal sIrangeness IhaI he usually brIngs Io Ihe Iable. LuckIly, Ushers emoIIon- ally aecIed and hIgh-pIIched vocals meld perIecIly wIIh Ihe paIIenI IappIng InsIrumenIals In Ihe background, buI IhIs Irack IronIcally Is mIssIng a clImax IhaI could Iurn II Irom good InIo greaI. ThIs Is Ihe sound oI DIplo appeasIng Io Ihe club crowd, whIch IoIally works, buI could have been so much more. CONTRIBUTORS: ANDY POLHAMUS SAMUEL LIEBRAND NICK STATT TREVOR CHRISTIAN Cursive- I Am Gemini Emo pIoneers CursIve reIurn wIIh Am CemInI, IheIr rsI album In Ihree years. AIIer sIarIIng ouI as a (preIIy good} band IhaI launched a Ihousand shII- Iy ImIIaIors, Ihe boys In CursIve have Iaken a new IheaIrIcal Iurn. uI maybe Ihey shouldve sIayed rIghI where Ihey were. The pseudo-reIro pop rock on Am CemInI Is aI besI InoensIve and aI worsI Iull-on embarrassIng. All oI Ihese songs mIghI as well have been recorded by PanIc AI The DIsco or My ChemIcal Romance ve years agoa IhoughI IhaI makes me crInge. DccasIonally, CursIve throws in shredding guitars that, if done better, could pass for the more technical sIde oI posI-hardcore, buI IhaI doesnI help IheIr cause aI all. And a quIck noIe Io Ihe Ians oI IhIs shII show: pull up your V-necks a lIIIle hIgher, guys. Nobody wanIs Io see IhaI. CULTURE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 37 Grimes- Visions The IhIrd Iull-lengIh sIudIo eorI Irom MonIreal-based DI and producer Claire Boucher marks another enchantingly successful reverberation of mod- ern elecIronIca, and a sure-re sIgn oI Ihe 23-year-olds evoluIIon over her shorI, yeI ImpacIIul, career. Known Ior her unIque versIon oI IndIe-pop, mIxed well with impossibly danceable undercurrents, Boucher manages to take a sim- ple drum-machine loop and a trance-like, heavy bass pulse to an entirely new level wIIh Ihe help oI her voIce. Shes capable oI hIIIIng remarkable hIghs and forcing out a variety of tones, from child-like to outright arena pop, proving yet again that she is one of the most dynamic and genuine vocal talents gracing Ihe plane oI pop and elecIronIc musIc. Tracks Io lookouI Ior: DblIvIon Iakes a jumpy synth beat and showers a cascading, smooth-as-glass vocal melody on Iop. CenesIs pulls CrImes IypIcal song make-up Ihrough an eecI-laden Iun- nel Io a desIrable, aImospherIc resulI. Leonard Cohen- Old Ideas Theres someIhIng almosI depressIng abouI lIsIenIng Io Leonard Cohen so laIe In hIs years, so depleIed In voIce. And yeI, even Ihough he sounds lIke crap, Cohen nds a way Io sound good. Old Ideas is a relatively weak album for Cohen IhaI Iakes enough advanIage oI hIs weaknesses Io make II IorgIvable. Is lled wIIh deeply spIrIIual lyrIcs, many oI Ihem dealIng wIIh age and deaIh. The musIc Is mInImalIsI, slow and when Iheres a sIrIng solo, IIs absoluIely spIne IInglIng. When a song needs IexIure, Cohen provIdes II wIIh hIs voIce or lyrIcs. I may noI have aged nIcely Irom a IechnIcal aspecI, buI II has developed a unIquely earnesI Ione IhaI allows hIs words Io hII even harder. He hasnI been able Io maInIaIn hIs more seducIIve Ione quIIe as well, especIally nexI Io hIs much, much younger Iemale backup sIngers. ForIunaIely, he only does IhIs on Iwo Iracks. Earl Sweatshirt- Home (SIngle} After over a year in boarding school in Somoa, where he was sent after he horrIed hIs moIher wIIh hIs bruIal InsIanI-classIc debuI EARL In 2U1U, Ihe unIhInkably young Earl SweaIshIrI Is back. He oers a very shorI, low-key Irack Io mark hIs apparenI reIurn Io Ihe U.S. Though hIs Impeccable ow and eorI- less rhymes (whIch can reIerence anyIhIng Irom ParlIamenI cIgareIIes Io Ia- vascrIpI} are IurIher prooI oI an undenIable IalenI IhaI exponenIIally exceeds all oIher Ddd FuIure members, Ihe poor mIxIng qualIIy and clusIerIuck backIng Irack (noIably noI produced by Tyler, Ihe CreaIor} brIngs down Ihe song as a whole. NoneIheless, Earl Is sIIll aI Ihe Iop oI hIs rap game here, makIng Ihe possIbIlIIy oI any IuIure releases sound more promIsIng Ihan ever. Islands- A Sleep & A Forgetting A Sleep & A Forgetting shows a newfound subtlety from former Unicorns IronI man NIcholas Thorburn. Dn hIs IourIh Iull-lengIh wIIh slands, Thorburn brings out his softer side with an album that combines the best aspects of early Spoon and recenI DeaIh Cab For CuIIe whIle leavIng Ihe NIkon-and-sundress aIIIIude oI Ihose bands aI Ihe door. MovIng on Irom Ihe blaIanI IreakIness oI The UnIcorns and pasI Ihe gImmIcky calypso-pop oI earlIer slands records, A Sleep & A Forgetting brings some much-needed nuance to the current crop of garage rockers and DIs currenIly domInaIIng Ihe IndIe landscape. The pIano- heavy opener n A Dream I Seemed Real InIroduces Ihe record as a major leap Iorward wIIh a bIIIersweeI, shuIng Ieel IhaI announces Ihe complex- IIy oI Ihe songs ahead. A Sleep & A Forgetting delivers on its promise with a careful selection of instrumentationa few horns here and there, an accordion makesa guest appearance, and a banjo adds a touch of ragtime on the upbeat Hallwaysas well as a lyrical maturity that puts most indie songwriters to shame. PuI down Narrow Stairs and lIsIen Io IhIs InsIead. 38 SPORTS February 21, 2012 Knicks were losing pretty badly for a whileso badly that they were reduced to starting the Asian American team chemist from Harvard; like when you run out of all your pre- Ierred boxer brIeIs and are Iorced Io wear your saggy real- cool-guy-they-used-to-be-red-but-now-are-kind-of-faded- maroonIsh boxers IhaI rIde up In your panIs lIke youre In eIghIh grade. CrypI-keeper Amare SIoudemIre was ouI wIIh a broken hIp, probably, and Carmelo AnIhony had Io y ouI Io TIbeI Io sIudy Ihe ancIenI arI oI passIng (he sIIll hasnI reIurned}. I Iurned ouI IhaI Ihe KnIcks played well In IheIr old box- ers. Ieremy LIn provIded more ball movemenI, he helped Ihe Ieam breaIhe. He knows Ihe game lIke you know Ihose boxers. HIs play Is creaIIve, even II Ihe headlInes arenI. After the Knicks made a splash in the free agent mar- keI, we musI ask: Is IR SmIIh a boxer kInd oI guy? Now, m not a man of speculation, but I know the eyebrow threader who touched up the brows of the girl that served oatmeal at the continental breakfast in the hotel JR stayed at in Canada who is friends with the bellman who saw JR stroll through with shopping bags from Hugo Boss, a company IhaI denIIely sells brIeIs. The bellman dIdnI geI a really good look, but my friend said that he said they were either socks or brIeIs. ThereIore, SmIIh wears brIeIs. I will denounce this acquisition even after watching SmIIh come o Ihe bench Io drop 15 poInIs In 3U mInuIes oI play. Hes a bad-Iempered, selsh player who has a no- IorIously Terrell DwensIan ego whIle sharIng Carmelos dIs- pleasure Ior sharIng Ihe rock. Also, IhIs pIck-up comes In Ihe mIddle oI a LIn gellIng process. They had played lIke a bunch oI porIly, mIddle-aged dads Irom Ihe YMCA Ior mosI oI Ihe season. LIns energy and passIng prowess had Ihe Knicks playing like a real, live basketball team and Smith can be Ihe real y In Ihe proverbIal poIaIo salad. ThaI beIng saId, we could use Ihe depIh In Ihe small Iorward posIIIon. Ill Walker Is a lousy backup. The only IhIng IhaI amazes me more Ihan hIs poor play Is hIs oyz Men haIrsIyle choIces. shudder Io IhInk oI Ihe day when Melo, Amare and SmIIh are on Ihe same oor IogeIher. There arenI enough baskeIballs In Ihe world Io run IhaI oense. The Irade Is es- senIIally undoIng everyIhIng IhaI LIn had broughI IogeIher wIIh hIs chemIsIry, maIh and book IhIngs. We could have had II all, rollIng In Ihe deep. THE JEREMY LIN SHOW by Vincent Barone SPORTS Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 39 SIony rooks mens baskeI- ball team is heading directly for an American East Conference Champi- onship and the NCAAs, if their cur- renI momenIum Is any IndIcaIIon. Following a defeat by the Uni- versity of Vermont on February 12, the Seawolves came right back to best Northeastern in a decisive 76- 65 wIn on Ihe HuskIes home IurI. IunIor Tommy renIon orches- IraIed Ihe oense on SaIurday, kIck- Ing Ihe Ieams energy InIo hIgh gear In Ihe second halI. He was one oI three players to end the game with double dIgIIs, scorIng 13 poInIs and adding seven rebounds, seven as- sists, two blocks and two steals to Ihe acIIon. Sophomore guard Dave Coley matched a career-high of 21 points, previously set against Boston Uni- versity in the early days of the sea- son. SenIor DallIs Ioyner added a double-double of 10 points and 10 rebounds and remained a sol- id force inside the paint, making Northeastern look outside to their jump shooIers. The Seawolves, whose record from the free throw line was a satis- IacIory 13-15, relIed on IheIr InsIde game and speed to match the three- pointers of the Huskies, who went 1U-17 Irom behInd Ihe arc. Since their February 9 win agaInsI UMC, Ihe long shoIs have noI been IallIng Ior SIony rook. In their game against Vermont, the Seawolves went a startling 0-15 Irom Ihe Ihree-poInI lIne. MENS BASKETBALL ROUND-UP by Rebecca Tapio Photos by Tom Johnson 40 OPINION February 21, 2012 Graphic by Matt Willemain CRAZY PEOPLE PASS A CRAZY BILL by Liz Kaempf Some backwoods sIaIes In Ihe MIdwesI have managed to recently pass a little something called the Personhood Ill. I dIcIaIes IhaI lIIe and Ihe rIghIs IhaI come wIIh II be- gIn aI concepIIon, when sperm IerIIlIzes an egg. WhaI IhIs does Is underhandedly ouIlaw aborIIon. I does noI deem II Illegal, II canI. The legalIzaIIon oI aborIIon Is a Iederal law and cannoI be overIurned by sIaIe laws. However, II youre Ihe Dklahoma or MIssourI SenaIe, you nd a way Io sysIem- aIIcally ban II wIIhouI conIcIIng wIIh Ihe Iederal govern- menI. By deciding that conception is the moment a life be- gins, and thus that the unborn baby has liberties and rights as declared by the Constitution, abortion would then be- come a Iorm oI murder. NoI In Ihe way EvangelIcal ChrIs- tians see it as a murder, but the actual taking of another persons lIIe agaInsI IheIr wIll. ThIs Includes cases oI abor- tion in which the woman becomes pregnant as the result of rape or IncesI. Allow me Io backIrack Ior a momenI. Long ago, only whIIe males were permIIIed IheIr cIvIl rIghIs. They goI Io eaI all Ihe cookIes In Ihe cookIe jar. uI Ihen enough people Iook acIIon and InIIIaIIve IhaI Ihose whIIe males nally had Io share IheIr cookIes wIIh Ihe resI oI us. Now IhaI we are all created equal, that means a woman has the right to make informed and appropriate decisions regarding her own bodya group of Bible-thumping men cannot do that Ior her. Is absurd IhaI II a woman has Ihe unIorIunaIe expe- rIence oI beIng physIcally and sexually assaulIed and be- comes pregnant as a result that she has to live with that Ior Ihe resI oI her lIIe. Sure, men can be sexually assaulIed Ioo, buI Ihey donI wInd up carryIng a small human InsIde of their belly for nine months if the person who raped them IorgoI Ihe courIesy oI a condom. A mother may always love her child, but is it fair to force her to live with something that will always be a con- stant reminder of the day a man thought it would be fun to IormenI, maIm and scar her? Then II Iurns InIo an epIsode OPINION Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9 41 People Ior Ihe EIhIcal TreaImenI oI AnImals, more com- monly known as PETA, named ve SeaWorld orcas as plaIn- IIs In a lawsuII earlIer IhIs monIh, conIendIng IhaI anImals have the same constitutional rights against slavery that hu- mans have. U.S. DIsIrIcI Iudge Ierey MIller In San DIego dIsmIssed the case, writing, the only reasonable interpretation of the ThIrIeenIh AmendmenIs plaIn language Is IhaI II applIes Io persons, and noI Io non-persons such as orcas. As someone who generally disagrees with the stances oI PETA, have Io admII, In IhIs case Ihey have a poInI. PETAs aIIorney, Ierey Kerr, Iold Ihe +XQJWRQ 3RVW IhaI Ihe lawsuII sIemmed Irom Ihe organIzaIIons belIeI IhaI slavery doesnI depend upon Ihe specIes oI Ihe slave, any more than it depends upon the race, gender or ethnic- IIy oI Ihe slave. SeaWorlds aIIempIs Io deny [orcas] Ihe protection solely based on their species is the same kind of prejudIce used Io jusIIIy any enslavemenI. y Ihe reasonIng oI Ihe honorable Iudge MIller, our own species, Homo sapiens, are the only ones who cannot legally be enslaved or kepI In condIIIons oI slavery. WhIle this logic is sound as long as we are at the top of the food chain, what will this mean for future lifeforms we encoun- ter? WhaI oI Ihe KlIngon, Ihe org, Ihe Vulcan? WhaI oI Ihe Racnoss, Ihe Dod, Ihe SonIarans? (A Star Wars reference should go here, buI seen Ihe EpIsodes, have noI.} WIIh Ihe advancemenIs In InIerspace Iravel beIng made in our time and those of times to come, how can one man decIde IhaI only one specIes In exIsIence has Ihe rIghI to basic freedoms? Do none oI Ihe advanced races ve menIIoned above, wIIh IheIr complex culIures, economIc sysIems and lan- guages, deserve the same courtesy? Have we the right to dismiss the happiness and well- beIng oI oIher specIes Ior our own personal gaIn? We may soon have Io Iace Ihese quesIIons dIrecIly, as ScIenIIc American has reported on a planet that is not only close to our own solar sysIem, buI In Ihe habIIable zone oI IIs par- enI sIar. There could be lIIe as close, accordIng Io Ihe magazIne, as a mere 22 light years away from Earth, in the constel- laIIon ScorpIus. TwenIy-Iwo lIghI years? The duraIIon oI a IrIp IhaI dIs- tance is virtually no time in comparison with how long the unIverse has exIsIed, accordIng Io our human esIImaIIons. And so we must consider, if we deny basic rights to the mere creatures of our planet, down to the tiniest termite In IIs mound In AIrIca, how wIll we reacI when we nd Ihe gIanI scorpIons lIvIng In ScorpIus IhaI wIll probably y and have highly developed speech patterns, and who will ob- viously want to mate with us because our species is awe- some? AI Ihe raIe were goIng, well probably jusI blow Ihem up wIIh a couple oI nuclear weapons. KIll II wIIh re. PETA PICKS UP WHERE LINCOLN LEFT OFF by Rebecca Tapio GIVES FREE WILLY A WHOLE NEW MEANING of Decisiones Extremas, a Spanish telenovela, in which the mother calls her daughter a child of sin her whole life be- cause she was born ouI oI rape. m a nIce ChrIsIIan gIrl wIIh nIce ChrIsIIan belIeIs, but at no point do I take it upon myself to impose them on oIhers. You can use Ihe Ible Io deIend mosI anyIhIng. It seems to condone slavery, no? And sodomy too? But it never deIermInes Ihe begInnIng oI lIIe. n Ihe second cre- aIIon sIory, humans arenI alIve unIIl lIIe Is breaIhed InIo Ihem. You could say IhaI means a baby Is noI consIdered lIvIng unIIl II Is breaIhIng on IIs own ouIsIde oI IIs moIhers womb. Long sIory shorI, Ihe Personhood Ill Is some kInd oI Iemporary InsanIIy. Much lIke Ihe InIervIew wIIh KaIIe CourIc In whIch Sarah PalIn saId she wouldnI leI her own daughter have an abortion even if she were raped; that kInd oI InsanIIy. And ll be damned II IhIs comes Io New York and by some happensIance nd myselI In need oI a boIched TIjuana cloIhes hanger aborIIon. No bueno. AA E-ZINE February 21, 2012 AA E-ZINE Vol. XXXIII, Issue 9